but who prays for Satan?

who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner who need it most?

The two heavy doors swung open abruptly though Soul's eyes remained on me. Sid came striding in with narrowed eyes and he stopped in between us both. He opened his mouth to say something, but then his eyes landed on me. He looked between the two of us cautiously.

"You guys caused quite a lot of havoc," he said gruffly, casting a disapproving look to Soul. "Especially you. You knew what today was."

Soul met Sid's glare with a level stare of his own. "And you knew I wouldn't turn up."

Sid looked at him silently before he sighed. He ran a hand through his hair in irritation.

"That may be true," he admitted. "But I didn't know you'd drag Maka along with you. You know she's still fairly new Soul, and that puts you in big trou-"

"He didn't drag me along with him," I interrupted, not even casting a look at Soul's surprise. "I followed him. I was curious. He snapped at me to leave me alone but it's fun to piss him off."

I saw Soul swallow thickly but thankfully, he didn't disagree. Sid looked at me in bewilderment, though he seemed to accept my story.

"Is that right?" he muttered, tilting his head at me before looking back to Soul. "Your parents are here, kid."

Soul scoffed and folded his arms over his chest. "You know what I think about that, Sid. I don't want to see them. Tell them it will affect my recovery or something."

"That excuse seems to work less and less after using it over and over for the past seven years!" Sid said in exasperation before freezing, casting a wide-eyed look in my direction. Soul chuckled and shook his head as Sid started to internally freak out.

"It's alright, she knows," he assured Sid. "But you do that in front of anyone else I'll punch you in the throat."

Sid didn't regard the threat and instead stared incredulously between Soul and Maka. "Wait, you told her how long you've been here? Have you told her why you're h-"

"Yah," Soul interrupted, burying his hands in his pockets. "She knows everything."

Sid raised his brows before looking to me, I frowned under his gaze. I shuffled slightly and Sid seemed to notice my discomfort and finally dragged his eyes away. Sid shook his head before looking back over to Soul.

"Look kid, I really think you should try with yer' parents. C'mon, it's been what? Half a year since you last saw them in person? A year?"

Soul frowned at him; his dark eyes flashed with annoyance. "Yeah, so? I don't want to see them, Sid. I know it won't help me, and I know what will happen if I do."

Sid narrowed his eyes. He cast a swift glance at me.

"Oni will give you hell?" he asked quietly.

"…Yeah," Soul admitted, his voice firm. "My parents are the last people I would ever want to see me have an episode and Oni fucking knows that. So, until I get this under control, I won't see them, Sid. I can't."

Sid held his gaze for a while longer before finally sighing and looking away. He nodded his head slowly.

"Alright, kid. I got it." He responded in a tired voice, obviously seeing no point in arguing. "It's free time now and I've got to go sort this out. Go back to the home room or something, don't stay here." He cast me another look, his eyes remaining there.

"Marie is worried sick. She's got everyone looking around for you, so I suggest you get going now. Now, get going."

He said the last sentence feebly. I realised he knew that we wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. He was just letting us stay anyway.

The doors swung shut behind Sid's retreating form and Soul's eyes met mine again. I looked away first, a blush furiously darkening my cheeks.

"So… You and he seem close." Soul nodded slowly, his eyes falling back to the door.

"Yeah," he agreed, he ran a hair through his white dishevelled hair. "Sid's the only person who could get through to me when I first arrived here."

"You wouldn't talk to anyone?" Soul shook his head.

"No one. All the therapists were so… stern. Professional. It made me feel like I was being studied or something. Sid isn't even a therapist, he's just staff, but he didn't talk to me like everyone else."

"Really? What did he talk to you like?" Soul smirked.

"Like I was normal," he breathed. "If I had a tantrum or something and tried to hurt someone, he'd just yell at me. It made me laugh. All the others wouldn't talk to me but about me. They'd just yell "Evans's having another one, get Stein, we need sedation" or some shit like that."

"And what would Sid say?"

Soul laughed.

"'Oh, for fucks sake kid, can't you chill? Nothing's even happening! Calm the fuck down.'" Soul laughed again. "It'd just snap me out of it. 'Cause he was right! Nothing was happening. I was just angry for absolutely no reason and I'd just… lash out. So, Stein assigned Sid to me."

"But how can he analyse if he doesn't have the training?"

"He used to write things down and give it back to Marie or Stein to read over. But he doesn't really need to do that now, he's learnt from me and them."

I nodded slowly and Soul sighed.

"So, are you done stalling?"

I blinked at him, trying to seem unfazed, even though my heart pounded at his comment. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you haven't even commented on the fact I just kissed you and I'm sure you of all people would have something to say."

Soul was looking down on me through narrowed, yet amused dark red orbs. His mouth, which was usually turned up in a cocky half smirk was in a tight, thin line as he looked down at my face. My brow furrowed in confusion at his expression. I had to fight the urge to look away from him once more. He could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be, I realised suddenly.

"Maka," he began gruffly, though I cut him off before he could go on.

"Don't, Soul," I sighed, taking a step back. "I get it, okay?"

Soul frowned, turning his head at him. "Get what?"

"That is was a mistake," I laughed dryly. Soul's eyes narrowed scarily; he took a small step towards me.

"Really?" he drawled lowly, his deep voice rumbling in his chest. I tried to ignore the flutter in my stomach as the sound resonated through me.

"Really," I agreed, though slightly taken a back. I fell a step back as he moved towards me, his eyes narrowed and his face firm.

"So," he went on. "You think I'd kiss you, like that," he growled, and I shivered. "And not mean it? You think I'm that cruel? That stupid I don't think before I act? Sure, I'm mean but I'm not that mean, am I?"

So, I touched a nerve. I frowned and tilted my chin up. "I didn't say that."

"Because, Maka," he went on as if she hadn't even spoken, still moving slowly towards me, I still moved away from him. "I don't do things I don't want to do. I do what I want. Now, you think I would've done that if I didn't want to?"

I swallowed audibly. I gasped quietly as my back hit the wall. "N-no,"

Soul smirked darkly and tilted his head.

"No," he agreed. "I wouldn't. So, you still think it was a mistake?"

I blinked up at him as he finally closed in on me, his chest brushing my own as he stood before me. He looked down on me with dark eyes mixed with anger, annoyance, amusement, and something else I couldn't make out.

I looked away before shaking my head. "No. It – It wasn't a mistake. Not for me."

"And not for me." Soul said quietly, once again tilting my chin up so my eyes met his. The breath caught in my throat.

"You – You're something else, Maka." He told me slowly, his eyes hesitant.

"I seriously don't know what it is." He admitted, he sounded frustrated. "But there's somethin'. I don't talk to people, especially about myself. I'm rude, blunt, and angry and that didn't scare you off. You just so damn stubborn." He muttered, trailing his finger under my chin while his other hand moved behind to me rest on the wall.

"I don't know how you feel about me," he told me. "And I don't really care. But I would never kiss you if it meant nothing to me. And you wouldn't kiss me if I meant nothin' to you either, I'm not stupid."

I gulped and hung onto each word. My hand moved forward to lace my fingers with his, squeezing his hand gently. He smirked. He frowned for a second before releasing a long breath, pulling his hand from my own before muttering: "Fuck it." And then he pressed his lips to mine once more.

It was passionate as the previous kiss, no more than a few minutes ago. His hands grasped my hips and pressed them to his own, a low growl rumbling in his chest as he did. I squealed and my hands drew up to trail over his shoulders before snaking over then, cupping the back of his neck.

He groaned before pushing me more firmly to the wall, dragging my bottom lip between his sinfully sharp teeth as we broke for air, barely giving me a second before he smashed his lips back to mine again. My lips moved with his, every thought on where I was and why I was there left my mind until the only thing I could think of was who I was with.

It was Soul. The boy who had pissed me off from day one and I him. The boy I had a strange but apparent connection with. I was drawn to him. And now he had me pressed up against the wall of a piano room, my leg near enough wrapped around his waist and his lips pressed wonderfully against my own.

Soul was the one to finally break the kiss. He panted lightly, not opening his eyes and pressing his forehead to mine, his breath ghosted over my lips. I looked at his face, his closed eyes before running my hand gently through his hair causing him to give a small smile as he leaned into my touch.

"I – I don't know what this means to you," he said quietly, his voice lower than usual. "But you mean something to me. And I know I mean something to you. But – But I need to think about a few things, and I bet you do too. But this wasn't a mistake, Maka. You hear me?"

I smiled and nodded, not trusting myself to be able to form words yet. Soul seemed to look at me in wonder before suddenly leaning forward and pressing his lips softly onto mine once more. It was not aggressive or rough, it was slow. Our lips moved together for a few short moments before Soul pulled away again. He nodded at me sharply before turning without another word and exiting the dark piano room.

It's safe to say that Marie was not impressed with me when I finally ran into her.

"Maka Albarn," Marie strode towards me just before I made it into my room. I didn't even bother to hide the fact I hung my head back and groaned. I was so sure I had avoided Miss Marie!

"Now, none of that," Marie said when she stopped in front of me, her hands firmly resting on her hips as she looked down furiously at my form.

"Where on earth have you been?" she almost shrieked. "I've been looking everywhere for you, and so have the staff! Do you have any idea how worried we were? This isn't some holiday home Maka, there are rules! Set rules that you must follow. And one of the plainest rules of all is that you must ask permission before you…"

I zoned out as Marie went on, my eyes narrowed into slits as I glared at the floor to avoid Marie's eyes. This wasn't entirely necessary, was it? I was gone for about fifteen minutes, tops.

"-And so, you can realise how careless and stupid it is to just up and disappear! You need to starting think – "

"Okay, Marie," I interrupted the older woman. "It won't happen again, I get it. I was just wandering around. I didn't realise it would start such a huge commotion."

Marie glared furiously at me. "Well, it did. Now, you're very lucky I don't put you in isolation."

"Why don't you?" I challenged, even though the thought of being locked in a room all on my own sent a wave of fear through me.

Marie went quiet.

"Because, you didn't cause too much harm." She said softly and my eyebrows shot up. Could it be that Sid had already spoken to her?

"Anyways," Marie interrupted my thoughts. "We know where you are now. Please, in future, inform us if you want to go somewhere. There are certain places that are out of bounds." I was nodding even before she had finished.

"Of course," Anything to shut you up, I added silently.

"Good, now go to your room. Classes are still off."

"Is something still going on at the adult's floor?" I asked, Marie gave me a sharp look.

"We're just sorting some things out," she said, almost frantically. I took a step back.

"What's going on up there?" I meant the question to be rhetorical, but Marie shunned me anyway.

"Never you mind, missy! It's bad enough that I have to deal with the children on this ward running around willy-nilly, but I need to keep an eye on the child up there as well!"

"Wait, what?" My eyes flashed. "There's a child on the adult's ward? Why? Who?"

Marie had her hand pressed over her mouth; she realised a long sigh before pressing her fingertips to her temples.

"That is really none of your business, Maka." She said in a very tired, precise voice. Something clicked in my mind.

"…Chrona?" I said slowly, my eyes trained on Marie's face in order to access her reaction.

But I received none. Marie only frowned at me; her head tilted slightly to the side before she simply turned her back without another word.

I was in a foul mood as I returned to my room. My mind fell heavily into that deep, hazy blue that took me hours to pull myself from. I fell into a heap on my bed, I pulled the covers over my head and tried desperately to just fall asleep then and there.

The blue, the black, the white. I didn't really know what colour I fell into when I felt like this. It hurt. Why did I have to feel like this? Wasn't this place meant to make me better, make me feel better?

I felt almost angry. Couldn't they fix me already? That's what's this place for, wasn't it? And yet, I still felt so horrible. I still craved the feeling of pressing that blade to my wrist until beads of blood, my life force, formed from the wound. I still craved the death I'd attempted, that brought me here. But… that's not right, is it? I've never been this happy. I'd never felt so safe, so… cared for.

So, why? Why was I so unbearably miserable when this was the brightest, I'd ever felt? Why was I drowning in blue… in grey? It was my mind. My dumb, fucking mind. I was just so fucked up that no matter how happy people made me it would never last. My brain wouldn't allow such a thing. I was incapable of happiness.

There was no other explanation. I had no reason to feel this way, especially right now. It was poison. Toxic. It seeped into my blood, into my brain, and changed me. Formed me.

I screamed into my pillow. It was just so frustrating! My mood kept changing so suddenly that I couldn't keep up with them anymore. It was painful. I just needed to keep it together, but I couldn't.

The feeling of being completely powerless in controlling your own emotions? The feeling of not even knowing who the real you is? Is it the positive, somewhat happy teenage girl or is it the sad, unbalanced, dangerous individual with a nasty tendency of clawing herself open and praying for death?

But I didn't want to die. I didn't want to hurt myself or anyone else, not now people cared about me. Now that I knew I had these disorders, all I wanted was to get better. I just wanted to feel better. Be normal.

Was that so much to ask? Not to be dragged in by the ugly, blue-grey cloud that made me choke bitterly on my own existence. I didn't want to hate myself. But I so, desperately did. I despised myself with every element of my body.

More than my Mama, she realised in horror. The woman who allowed left me alone with Papa, because she was too dumb to know what was happening or just didn't care. More than my abusive, neglectful Dad that I was too terrified to stand up to, even though he was the sole reason for my crippling misery.

I lay awake almost the entire night, pondering all of this. Why me, why not someone else? I knew I'd never know; I could only hope that the people here could just fix me. Even though were taking the sweet time about it.