Chapter 8 Be Still My Heart
Her mother strode purposefully into her room, her confidence belied by the nervous twitch under her left eye.
"We need to talk."
"Certainly," Elizabeth heard herself utter before comprehension dawned. "Oh..."
"Come, sit by me on the bed. I cannot discuss this standing in attention."
Elizabeth eyed her bed suspiciously, she would prefer this conversation to be had anywhere else but suggestions might only prolong the awkwardness and she did have some questions. Despite growing up on a farm, she was not entirely sure of the proceedings involving humans. Small snippets of information had been gained when her mother entertained her friends but it was difficult to understand to the full extent, much was still a blur. She found herself wishing for brothers, they might have been more forthcoming or not...
She sat down with a sigh, folded her hand demurely in her lap and waited.
"When your husband joins you in your bedchamber tomorrow night, there are certain intimate actions you are expected to perform."
Her mother did not mince her words when she had a point to make. Elizabeth nodded for her mother to proceed.
"You know men have an appendage that us females do not. You must have noticed when you have changed your young cousins."
"I know, mama. I have been to exhibitions and museums. Painters and sculptures are a sordid lot, are they not? Very little is left to the imagination."
"Do not be so blasé about it, Lizzy. The appendage is to go in your secret place, you know?"
"How can I if it is a secret?"
Her mother huffed and rolled her eyes.
"The same place you bleed..."
"Surely not, it would not fit."
"If a baby can pass, I assure you, no man has an appendage of that size, no matter how much they will try to convince you otherwise."
"Why would they want to be large?"
"That you must discover for yourself, my dear daughter. I have explained the most significant the rest is up to your husband."
"But... When?"
"Have faith, Lizzy. Your Mr Darcy is a dour sort, I doubt he will bother you much."
Elizabeth did not find any comfort in that statement as her mother hastened from her room. Mr Darcy was certainly not dour and she was not so certain she would prefer not to be bothered.
XxX
The wedding dawned with cloudy gloom from above. A solemnity graced the occasion which should have been a lively affair but Elizabeth did not begrudge it. It was a solemn and elated occasion to vow before God and congregation to love, to honour, to obey, pledges she did not take lightly.
Her mother's sighs could be heard in the quiet church as she floated on air down towards her soon to be husband. Mrs Bennet was the only one whose eyes were not directed at the bride but at her wayward daughter who did not seem to be able to make up her mind.
Jane bore the unusual defiance from her mother with equilibrium, in this, she could not be swayed. She proved that stubbornness was not solely Elizabeth's trait amongst the Bennet sisters. Neither threats nor coaxing had any influence on her, she would make up her mind when her reason had settled on the proper course.
Declared man and wife, the solemnity of the occasion lifted somewhat. Elizabeth could not contain her happiness inside, it glowed from her entire being.
Mr Darcy's happiness was more difficult for the uninformed to discern but those who knew him well saw his shoulders relax and peace suffuse his countenance. It did the countess of Matlock good to see him content and at ease. The former Miss Bennet's sentiments were written on her countenance with every glance at her newly acquired husband. He was loved, adored even. The lad who had grown from a serious boy to an outstanding gentleman deserved every happiness after losing his parents early, shouldering an enormous amount of responsibilities while his peers were carousing and spending their inheritance at the gaming tables. He had earned every pleasure coming his way.
As she suspected, Fitzwilliam had not noticed their late arrival at the church, enthralled by his bride as he had been. She had thought this momentous occasion should be graced with more than her second son and under-aged niece. She even brought her daughter, Winifred. At two and twenty, she had bloomed into a lovely lady but Aubrey Fitzwilliam had never held any hopes towards a union between her nephew and her daughter, as her sister at Rosings had. Fitzwilliam and Winifred had grown up together and acted more like siblings, she suspected romance was out of the question. No, Miss Bennet, now Mrs Darcy suited her nephew. She would bring liveliness while Fitzwilliam offered worldliness to the equation. Regardless, the bond they shared was easily discerned. Love, in its purest form. Before everyday life and adversary had had time to intervene and make havoc.
"Aunt Aubrey?"
She relished the surprise in her nephews countenance when he discovered her in the line well-wishers.
"Winifred! Elizabeth, come and meet my aunt, lady Aubrey and her daughter, lady Winifred."
"A pleasure to meet you, countess, lady Winifred," Elizabeth pronounced and curtsied low.
"The pleasure is ours, I assure you, Mrs Darcy."
The young lady blushed prettily, she seemed surprised by her welcome but then again, her first sojourn into the family had been a visit to Lady Catherine which was rarely a pleasant experience.
"Mother!" Richard came with Georgiana and an unknown gentleman in tow. "Are you staying for the breakfast?"
"Perhaps for a short stay, we need to get back to town before darkness falls upon us."
"Your ladyship is welcome to stay at Netherfield with your son and niece. Your beautiful daughter is welcome as well."
"I am loathed to impose not only one but two uninvited guests on a friend of my son. Perhaps you can introduce us, Richard?"
"How remiss of me mother." Richard made the necessary introductions. Mr Bingley would not hear of them setting out on the arduous travel back to town when they had just arrived. His insistence settled the matter and as usual, the countess of Matlock travelled nowhere without a decent amount of luggage, she learned that the hard way that you never knew what might happen along the English turnpikes.
Richard offered his mother his available arm, the other was occupied by Georgiana. Leaving it to Mr Bingley to escort Lady Winifred to their carriage. For safe measure, he left instructions towards Longbourn with their driver. Gallantly, he offered to escort the ladies in their carriage should their driver not manage to follow the twenty-odd carriages heading in the same direction.
XxX
Mrs Bennet was beside herself when she was appraised that there was a countess in their midst. Elizabeth and Jane kept vigilantly by their mother side to prevent her from embarrassing them. Elizabeth, to steer the conversation off any undesirable topics while Jane provided comfort to their distraught mother.
Mrs Bennet had no reason to fret as she set an excellent table, even the countess was impressed by the fare. A fact Mrs Bennet would not fail to mention in every conversation for the next several years.
The scheme left Mr Darcy with the task of entertaining their guests where most were in too much awe to interact. Thank heavens for his friend, Mr Bingley and his cousins who bore most of the conversations while he threw longing looks in his wife's direction. Elizabeth noticed and marshalled her father into bestirring himself. She was thankful for small mercies like the Wickhams departure and Kitty rose to the occasion by behaving impeccably. Mr Darcy was looking strained, uncomfortable and in need of rescue. She hastened to his side to fend off Sir William who had claimed her husband's attention for far too long. Sir William was an agreeable fellow of which a small dose went a long way.
"Mr Darcy, I am need of your advantageous height. May I borrow him for a spell, Sir William?"
"Certainly, Mrs Darcy." The man had the audacity to wink at her but she was too intent on her mission to be bothered. She grabbed Mr Darcy's hand and lead him purposefully towards the back of the house.
"Where are we going?"
"To the back parlour for a moment of privacy."
"Oh my, what nefarious schemes do you have in mind?"
Elizabeth halted right over the threshold, turned with a furious blush spreading across her cheeks.
"I thought you might need a moment of quiet solitude."
"I did but there is something I have greater need of."
He led her a step further into the room, allowing the door to close before he let his gaze roam over her countenance.
"Are you not going to kiss me?"
"Yes, dearest loveliest, Elizabeth. I am!"
He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs studying her intently, taking his time.
"What are you waiting for?"
"I am savouring the moment, it will be our first kiss as husband and wife. I want it to be perfect."
"Nothing is ever perfect. I prefer to be engaged in the activity rather than contemplating its perfection. You could use some of your aunt's wisdom by practising diligently."
His lips descended on hers for a brief spell before they left to let out a low rumbling chuckle.
"Quoting Lady Catherine on our wedding day?"
"Yes, the lady was instrumental towards our union, it is only fair she is acknowledged with some of its success."
"It is up to you and me now, Elizabeth."
If it were, no one could accuse her of not putting effort into the endeavour. Elizabeth let her hands travel slowly up her husband's chest until she reached the base of his neck. A firm grip pulled him to her waiting lips which she let roam freely over the soft planes of his mouth. A groan escaped his throat, spurring her on. Her hands sought to discover how he felt beneath them.
Elizabeth barely registered, in the far recesses of her mind, that the door handle was turned.
Reluctantly, she left Mr Darcy's lips and adjusted his lapels.
"You should hasten to get married, Jane, it is absolutely wonderful!"
Jane chuckled, a sound Mr Darcy had never heard before.
"You have a lifetime of bliss before you, Lizzy, but right now mama is looking for you. I dread to think of what she would have said had she happened upon you a moment ago."
Elizabeth was fiddling with his cravat, sighing she let her hands fall down her side and turn to Jane.
"Jane, you got to help me here. I cannot get it to look good and you have helped papa with his."
"What were you doing with his cravat anyway?"
"Nothing..."
Jane approached and took over her sisters fiddling, Mr Darcy tensed up.
"I could summon my valet if my apparel is in disarray."
"Almost ready," Elizabeth chippered from somewhere below his chin.
"When are you leaving for Netherfield?" Jane suddenly inquired.
"We are not," Mr Darcy interjected.
"Surely, you have no intention of staying at Longbourn?" Jane sounded appalled.
"No, I have not informed you yet, Elizabeth, I wanted it to be a surprise but I guess this is as good a time as any to reveal our destination. I have let Purvis Lodge until twelfth night, after that it has been let to another family. I was hoping we could remove to London after Christmas? You may invite Miss Bennet to stay with us at Darcy House if you like, Elizabeth."
She kissed his cheek, the wife not the sister.
"Excellent, what do you think, Jane? London will be abuzz with entertainment of every imaginable kind. We could see a play, attend the opera, balls, dinners and soirees. Please, say you will come with us?"
"It sounds lovely but I need to consider it before I reply."
"Certainly, you need not answer right away. We will be here at Longbourn for the Christmas tide. If you decide before new year's it will leave enough time to make the arrangement Miss Bennet."
If anyone thought it strange that Mr Darcy's cravat suddenly was tied in the same manner as Mr Bennet's, no one mentioned it.
The bride and groom reappeared with Jane by their side, speaking of the delights to be had during the London season. If the bride's lip were a darker shade of red, it must be the wine.
Soon thereafter, the Darcys bade their guests farewell. Mr Bingley invited them to supper on the morrow and convinced the Countess, Richard, Georgiana and Lady Winifred to stay an additional day.
XxX
The newlyweds had yet to make their appearance, they were so late that Miss Bingley called the guests to the table before they arrived. A wise decision, it would turn out to be, as the newlyweds did not emerge from Purvis Lodge before Christmas Eve, nine days later. Jane fiddled with her kerchief, she was not comfortable with Miss Bingley on her left and Mr Hurst on her right but, at least, she was spared any snide remarks as Miss Bingleys attention was solely on the lady sitting across from Jane, the Countess of Matlock.
Mr Bingley was seated at the opposite end of the table, surrounded by the beautiful Winifred and Colonel Fitzwilliam. Their little group was charmingly matched and engaged in a lively conversation. Mrs Bennet was unusually quiet, flanked by Georgiana and Louisa who both lacked easy conversation. Mrs Bennet was not the kind of person who could draw Georgiana out, shy and reserved, she was content listening to her more gregarious cousins and the affable Mr Bingley.
Mr Bennet often kept his own counsel yet his attention was on his right where Winifred held court with Mr Bingley and her cousin but he did not contribute. On his other side, two chairs sat empty of the waylaid newlyweds.
Jane was out of her depth, in awe with the countess and out of charity with Miss Bingley. Hurst dived into his plate with gusto, he was not a pleasant companion as he slurped his soup with a sickening noise. Jane tried to tone it out but was unsuccessful. She hoped her rolling stomach had settled by the next course, she was famished which added to the nausea. She must manage to think of something else, something who would be engaging enough to tone out the circumstances surrounding her and pull her into an all-encompassing daydream.
Colonel Brandon appeared before her inner eye. Stoic and regretfully announcing he had to leave London to escort the Dashwood sisters back to their home, Barton Cottage. She could not fault him, rendering a service to his dear friends was admirable and should take precedence over his botched courtship with herself. She wondered if he had perceived it as a lost cause or if he still held some hope within his chest that one day she would be his? It was impossible to know, she could not write to him, neither could he write to her. A missive to Mr Bennet was highly unlikely as they were not associated beyond the debacle after the second reading of the banns. Mr Gardiner held a slight acquaintance and had informed his wife who had written in a letter to Elizabeth that Miss Marianne had taken ill before they had reached their home and was residing at the Palmerston's estate, Cleveland. Jane could not imagine Colonel Brandon abandoning them there when Miss Marianne was so ill. She had not heard if Marianne had recovered or not... She would ask aunt Gardiner when she returned for Christmas if the young lady had been restored to health.
"Ah, the good French stuff, we must have the Countess to thank for that!" Mr Hurst raised his glass of wine to the countess.
Count on Mr Hurst to make a crass remark without realising how coarse or self-deprecating his utterance had been. Miss Bingley levelled her disapproving gaze on her like she was accountable for what came out of the mouth of the self-indulgent fool. Jane thought of what Lizzy would do under circumstances and met Miss Bingley's gaze with disbelief. A witty remark was quite beyond her although she expected the perfect retaliation would come to her after she had tucked in for the night.
The turtle soup was removed and the fish course was brought in. Fortunately, Mr Hurst was not fond of fish, leaving Jane to tuck in without obscene noises from her right.
"You have a healthy appetite, dear Jane, as is common with country stock, I believe."
Miss Bingley was just pushing her course around her plate, occasionally bringing tiny little morsels to her mouth. Jane did not know what to reply but opted to reduce the amount removed from plate to mouth. She was Miss Bingley's designated casualty of the evening, an honour usually reserved for her sister. How Elizabeth could bear it while remaining polite was a mystery.
A chicken course followed the fish before lamb à la béchamel was served. Mr Hurst knife slipped off a bone, sending a pea flying through the air in a perfect arc. The legume landed on the Countesses plate, she surreptitiously put down her utensils and focused her attention on the conversation with Louisa. Miss Bingley could not let the incident slip unattended and made a fuss exchanging the Countess plate for a new, clean one. Ordering a footman about who hardly managed to take a step in her direction before she admonishingly hastened him along. Subtly was not a trait Miss Bingley possessed, she was a parvenu behaving more like a bull tearing through a glasshouse. Jane fought the urge to smile at the comparison and raised her eyes towards her father. His eyes were aimed in her direction, he winked when he caught her gaze. Jane lost the battle against the tugging corners of her mouth and smiled brilliantly at her father who looked as bored as she felt.
The meal ended with a selection of three different kinds of sweetmeats, Jane had a hard time choosing only one and helped herself to tiny amounts of all three. Miss Bingley sent the Countess a knowing glance the Countess did not deign to reciprocate.
Finally, Miss Bingley rose from her seat, beckoning the ladies to follow her to Netherfield's most adorned parlour. A room she had decorated herself to suit her tastes. Jane took secret delight to Louisa Hurst whispering too loudly in her sister's ear not to be heard by everyone in attendance.
"You should have had a beef course, Mr Hurst was seriously displeased."
Miss Bingley reddened, Jane felt a twinge of pity for her plight which was undeserved. The meal had been delightful and she hurried to express her sentiments as soon as they had settled in the parlour. Miss Bingley was a great hostess if one counted food, drink and decorations as the main object. Her civilities was another matter entirely, dependant on your station in life and how much she had to gain by the connection...
XxX
The men joined the ladies after twenty minutes, a rather short respite, they must be preferring female company.
Mr Bingley set out in her direction but stopped briefly to acknowledge his dinner companion. It was only polite but Jane could not help but notice the easy tone between lady Winifred Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley. He laughed gaily of something she said. Jane had never made Mr Bingley laugh...
He made his way to her side and she had to smile at the puppy joy he met her with. He was the amiable gentleman she had always known him to be.
"Are you enjoying yourself this evening, Miss Bennet?"
"Oh yes, the meal was worthy of a duke, your sister is an excellent hostess."
"Thank you," he smiled, ignorant of all the things she had not uttered. He would never know because, like herself, he chose to see only the good, turning a blind eye to the unpleasant. Jane had begun questioning her philosophy in most matters, avoidance might not be the best way of addressing conflict. Perhaps, with some bravado, it could be helped...