Disclaimer: Not mine.
Content Warning: for vague discussion of suicide (more info at the end of the chapter that include some small spoilers).
*o0O0o*
*Morai's Call To Hope*
*Chapter VII - Travel Down Memory Lane*
*o0O0o*
They are about seven standard hours into the first leg of the journey, and around halfway to the planet that should have something they can board that's heading to Alderaan - or at least in the right direction to it - when Rex's old general seems to pick up the courage to ask him for more information about the last days of the Republic.
The Commander is asleep in her seat on the left of the General. Even unconscious however she's leaning in her old Master's direction, like a young one seeking comfort from their parent. Except that the seats are just that little bit too far apart for her head to be able to rest against the General's shoulder, instead just pressing against the padded wall behind her.
His chest aches for his vod'ika.
She probably hadn't had as much sleep after she left them last night as she had promised them she would. Not that Rex blames her, he hadn't been able to rest much himself, in fact should probably have followed her example now and gotten what sleep he could before things were likely to turn as interesting as they tended to any time General Skywalker was around.
If the General had been waiting for privacy, Rex doesn't know why he didn't just ask after the Commander had left for her own quarters before they even left Chopper Base. But he supposes that with the rebel pilot up in the cabin and well out of range of hearing, now is as good a time as any.
"Tell me what happened, Rex," his general asks, voice soft as to not wake the Commander. "At least tell me everything you know."
"That's not really as much as you probably expect, General. We didn't really have much time for anything other than running."
"Please, Rex," the General asks and with the pained look on his face reminds him that he'd been his friend too. Maybe as much his vod, as his clone brothers.
Rex sighs. Running hand over his face he forces himself to go back to that day. The day he lost his brothers; the day he'd had to kill troopers he'd have happily given his life for, to save the Commander.
"The Commander had captured Darth Maul, we were on our way back to rejoin you and the rest of the battalion on Coruscant when the order came through," Rex starts out and then loses his voice.
Remembers the sensation that had slammed into him like a Venator-class Star Destroyer, the Order that had landed in his mind and left no room for anything else. No room for questions, or doubt, or arguments. Just the beskar solid certainty that the Jedi were traitors.
That good soldiers followed orders.
The only reason he'd managed to hold on for those precious few seconds which ended up saving the Commander's life, were the fact that those words had another association for Rex to latch on to. He'd had the memory of Fives begging Rex to believe him.
It had been Fives that saved Ahsoka.
Without the suspicions that had been boiling under Rex's surface for months, without that grief, without already having those traces of the truth floating around his head, he would never have understood what was happening those fractions of moments before his chip could take full control. Before it could steal from him the understanding of why his fingers on the triggers of the blasters - the ones he'd already been pointing at the Commander - were making sickness sear through the lining of his stomach like acid.
"It was like a switch in our heads, sir," Rex finally says past the stone in his throat and over the dying screams of the vode he'd shot echoing in his ears even now; past the picture of helmets in the snow imprinted on the back of his eyelids; over the memory of the look on his commander's face when he'd first started blasting at her, each shot aimed to kill. "One moment I was me and the next... it was as if nothing mattered but following my orders, not the lives of my brothers, not that I would rather die than harm the Commander. And yet I was still me."
He wishes that it hadn't felt like it had still been him. That the control chips had had the mercy to make them into droids instead of leaving them with their identities but without the comprehension to understand that they would all rather swallow their own blasters than follow those karking orders - in fact as Rex well knows, when those chips started occasionally malfunctioning later on, many had.
It had not been just Wolffe and Gregor he'd tried to save.
"I almost killed the Commander, sir," Rex admits.
"No, you warned me, Rex," apparently having been woken by the sound of their voices after all, the Commander objects, voice still rough from sleep but no less certain.
"Sir,-" he tries to argue.
"You saved me. You told me what I needed to know to understand what was going on. You lead me to the information about Fives's death and the control chips in your heads," the Commander says forcefully, staring at Rex with stubborn eyes.
Rex smiles tiredly and nods, knowing there's no point in trying to keep arguing.
"Thank you, Rex," the General says, the words weighted.
Rex looks at him and nods once more. His general's eyes are full of meaning and an old unspoken vow kept. He hasn't always agreed with his general about everything, especially during the last days of the Clone Wars when Rex had started to lose his trust in the Chancellor, while the General's faith had been starting to take on a fanatic edge. But on this they had always been of one mind, since the very start on Christophsis when they had exchanged a silent promise that whatever else was to happen they would keep that snippy kid, with the heart the size of a Krayt dragon, safe.
"I- I let Maul go, I needed a distraction and I needed to get the chip out of Rex's head," the Commander says and Rex sees her swallow back the guilt he knows she still feels at that act, maybe even more so now that the Sith has hurt someone she cares about again. "Our ship crashed and everyone was dead, all the men that had come with me to Mandalore, even Jesse. We left behind my lightsabers and Rex's helmet to make everyone think that we had died too and we ran."
"And after?"
"We had to split up, General," Rex chimes in. "A lone pair made up of a clone deserter and a Togruta? We were too conspicuous, too recognizable."
"Eventually I put together some of the things that had happened," the Commander says, haunted eyes staring into the distance. "The news of Emperor Palpatine started spreading. I found a holo recording of Master Kenobi getting passed around, he was warning the Jedi survivors to run. And before I had caught him Maul told me- he wanted my help to take down his old master, said that the Sith Lord hiding under everyone's nose was about to win. And once the Empire started to take hold... it wasn't hard to guess who he'd been talking about anymore."
"And- and Padmé?"
Rex and the Commander exchange a careful look.
"I don't know how it happened, Anakin," she starts out slowly while Rex begins to closely watch his general for any new signs of needing a good knock to the head. "The official Empire line was that a Jedi had killed her."
"The Emperor probably enjoyed coming up with that one," Rex mutters scornfully under his breath.
For a moment his general's face blanks and Rex feels his muscles tensing. But then the General visibly clenches his jaw and pushes himself out of whatever dark places his mind had apparently just spun into, pulling his back and shoulders into military straightness.
"She's my wife," the General says.
Rex and Ahsoka share a startled look, not at the confirmation about the relationship of course, everyone and their R2 unit had known that General Skywalker and Senator Amidala were absolutely, sickeningly together but-
"Oh," Ahsoka says "I mean I knew that you loved her, we all knew that, but you were married?"
"Yeah, we were keeping it a secret until after the war. Not even Obi-Wan knew."
Rex snorts. "Well he definitely knew something."
"What?" the General looks confused and the sheer gall of it after all the kriffing- really?!
"Really, General?" Rex gapes at him.
After the number of times he'd been on door duty while his general was taking a holo call with the Senator, and was forced to lie in General Kenobi's face as the man stared at him with that damned raised eyebrow, and that amused twist to his lips? Was the General really going to pretend that General Kenobi had been totally oblivious to the true goings on of his former Padawan's heart?
There hadn't been a single member of the 501′th battalion that didn't know. There had been bets between his own men and the 212′th about when and how General Kenobi would manage to get General Skywalker to admit to his and the Senator's relationship, which he and Cody had been willfully ignoring, because the men had deserved all the innocent fun the war would let them have. And the General really thinks that General Kenobi hadn't-
Rex finds himself so speechless that all he can manage is to glare at his general and hope that the Force would take mercy on an old clone and slap the man in Rex's name.
The planet that the pilot leaves them all on is a small mid rim trade planet.
The Empire's presence is visible but not overpowering, there's a number of Stormtrooper patrols walking through the place but their weapons are holstered on their hips instead of in their arms, and the patrols are made up of only four troopers each.
The Rebellion must not have a cell here, Rex thinks
The people still step out of the Stormtrooper way with air of visible caution though, eyes averted. Rex reads the kind of men these troopers are from those signs easily enough, but then a Rodian boy a little short of being called a teenager, trips while trying to remove himself from the path of one of the patrols, and a Stormtrooper almost absently kicks the kid out of his way.
The General halts mid step beside him and Rex curses knowing that what's about to happen will complicate their mission tenfold. Luckily the Commander knows General Skywalker as well as Rex does and grabs his arm to tow him forward forcefully almost as soon as he's stopped.
"No, Anakin," she whispers under her breath, just loud enough for the General and Rex to hear "we don't have the time and it won't help. If he gets defended by three Rebels, he'll end up getting grabbed for questioning and believe me, that's a lot worse than a few bruises that will fade inside a week."
"He's a child. Those men have no right to-" the General hisses under his breath.
"She's right, sir. There's nothing you can do without making it worse and if we try to interfere the Empire will send reinforcements, the number of Stormtroopers in the streets will grow and the next time a kid's not fast enough at moving they will get a blaster shot to the face instead of a boot to the back." Rex's voice is grim, he knows the Empire guidebook well enough to know the pattern. "And we won't be here anymore to help anyone."
"If we had our men here-"
"Our men are dead, sir," Rex interrupts him, and grimaces at how harsh it comes out. But his general seems to be in need of a reality check, and if being reminded that this is not his time requires Rex to say some ugly truths, then that's what he's going to do.
"Rex-"
"Let's focus on the mission, sir. Step one, find a ship that's going to Alderaan."
"Step two," the Commander adds in "find a way to disguise you two well enough that you don't get recognized the moment we step on the planet."
"What?" the General asks, face puzzled, it's a face that is still bringing up in Rex the irritation from hours ago about the incredible levels of what must be deliberate obtuseness on his general's part, because no one could be that dense. But it makes him stop looking like he wants to pull out his lightsaber so Rex will call that a win.
"It's been more than a decade so it's not really that big a threat this far out from Coruscant but you were kinda famous, Hero Without Fear," the Commander points out.
"And I've got a face that makes people swear they've seen me before," Rex adds drily and then halts in his tracks as the answer strikes him. Letting out a heavy breath that goes down all the way to his diaphragm, Rex groans.
"What is it?" the Commander asks.
"I've got an idea, sir. And I think you'll get to beat up those troopers after all, General," Rex says and feels his face pulling into a grimace.
"Then why do you look like Obi-Wan after someone's stolen his morning ration of caf?" the General asks sounding suspicious. "And why do I not think I'll like it much either?"
"Because those trooper uniforms are an insult to good armor. And none of the Stormtroopers were anywhere near as tall as you, sir. There's stretch in the joints but it isn't going to be comfortable."
And he'd hoped so much after his trip to save Bridger with Jarrus, that he'd never have to put on a blasted Stormtrooper helmet again. The kriffing things were more fit for a junker heap than a self respecting clone. He'd rather use them for target practice to train some Shinies than put one on his head.
He bets Cody would-
Abruptly he remembers where and when he is. It seems being in his old general's presence again has been messing with his own sense of time too. Shaking his head, he reminds himself not to get lost in all that's long gone, and squares his shoulders.
"Well then, sirs, that armor isn't going to steal itself."
*o0O0o*
Content Warning Details: Rex thinks about how all the Clone Troopers (him included) would have rather killed themselves than executed Order 66, and how later after some chips had started to malfunction many clones had done exactly that. It's no more detailed than that though.
AN: Anakin getting angry on behalf of a child... oh, the tragic irony.
Please let me know what you think, I was kinda really excited about writing from Rex's POV and it was really fun (but it's hard to guess if I actually did my favorite Clone Trooper as much justice as he deserves).