Fili POV

The plastic pen felt unfamiliar beneath my fingers, unforgiving and ungainly as I tried to form the letters on the worksheet that Amber had printed out for me that morning. I was used to writing with a quill that would flex with each movement of my large fingers, something that worked with me rather than against me. It had barely been half an hour using the plastic pen, but my fingers already ached from trying to find a comfortable angle to hold the object in.

It didn't help that the common runes of this world were very 'flowy', more akin to elvish than the harsh angles of Dwarven Runes that I was more familiar with. The muscles in my wrist felt sore, and every so often I had to stop to shake life back into my increasingly dead fingers. I let out a frustrated sound, dropping the pen to the paper and rubbing my aching fingers against each other to ward off the discomfort that had settled in my knuckles.

I felt as if I was a failure, that I should have made more progress by now given that this was my fourth day of practicing with Amber.

Was I not the 'smarter' brother whom always grasped new concepts months before Kili ever did? Amber to her credit was a patient and understanding teacher, always happy to offer kind words of encouragement and there was no hint at all that she was disappointed in my progress. With my hands still covering my eyes I felt more than saw her move from her seated position on the coach beside me - the subtle differences of warmth and lighting as her body lifted every so slightly upright and then cautiously sliding beside me as if uncertain that she should even get as close to me as she currently was.

The sensation of her body pressing against my own was intoxicating, pulling my thoughts far away from the paper that I should have been focusing on. She was warm, soft and inviting. It took all my mental strength to not relax fully in against her side. Being in the same room as my one was bad enough, but being this close to her? Mahal preserve! I didn't think I'd get any work done at all. I watched with growing curiosity as she lifted the pen from the table and slipped it back into my fingers. The cool unforgiving surface of the plastic pen became my anchor, a focus point for my poor brain to latch onto beyond the sensation of her too close form.

"Here, hold the pen like this. Holding the pen as you where is a recipe for cramps,"

I lost the inadequate focus on the pen the moment she leaned in toward me more. Her soft hand cupping my own, and her fingers shifting to guide mine to a more comfortable position on the pen. I could almost feel the smile on her lips, and the all too seductive exhale of breath against my ear, and I was once again distracted from the task at hand. The sudden realisation that she might very well be toying with me crossed my thoughts. Amber had been a lot more flirtatious with me the last few days, come to think of it. She would often wink at me, throw out barely veiled innuendos, and nudge her hip against mine teasingly whenever I cooked.

To say I'd been oblivious to most of it would be the understatement of the century.

Part of me still didn't even know how to bridge the gap and flirt with her in return. Mahal knows I wanted to court her, but she didn't even know what she was getting herself into. I wasn't human like her - she could give her heart to a dozen people in her lifetime, but I would only ever bind myself to one. There was a recognition that I should tell her about the concept of ones, tell her of the deeply spiritual connection I shared with her, but every time I got close to sharing that with her I backed out like the coward I was. I didn't want her feeling like she had to love me or bind herself to me because of the way I felt. I respected her too much to do that.

Then the dreams had started, and all hope of caution had flown with them.

She likely thought that it was just another dream that humans where want to have when she had first found her way into my sleeping thoughts. However, now that the dreams had started, she would find her way into them more often and was bound to ask questions at some point. Maybe it was best to get it over and done with now - rip the band aid off the wound, as Amber liked to say when she had to do things she didn't enjoy doing. I gripped the pen beneath my fingers, taking a deep breath as I once again tried to summon the courage to let my feelings for her known.

"Remember the other day ... when you asked if something was bothering me?"

The warmth of her body against my own vanished as she shifted backwards at my question, her hand slipping away from my own to rest on the very edge of the table as an inquisitive expression settled on her face.

"I remember. You said it caused no distress, and that it was not a bother ..."

She trailed off as if she had come to a sudden realisation, her cheeks reddening and the curious look that had been on her face shifted to one of sudden embarrassment and guilt. I watched as her eyes darted from my face down to her hands that had dropped into her lap - her thumbs twisting around each other in nervous agitation.

"Shit. Something I did is bothering you. Oh god Fili, I am so sorry ... it's just ... you're so attractive, and you make me feel things I haven't felt in ages. I couldn't help myself, flirting is a normal thing us women do in this world ... why didn't you say something."

Her voice was quiet and hesitant, as if she had not even planned to say what she did and yet had said it, anyway. I had spent so long convincing myself that this was all too good to be true, that maybe this was a romance my panicked brain had forged out of thin air, that I had never stopped to consider that all her flirtations where honest and real. I'd held back out of respect for her, but all I had done was hurt her. Mahal I was an idiot ... I could have prevented all this if I had just been honest with her right from the start. I reached over, cupping her hands between my own and resting my thumbs over hers to quell the anxious movements of the digits.

"I was, simply put. Afraid. My fears where twofold. First, I feared breaking the oath I had made to my elders to never share the sacred beliefs of my kinfolk, and second, I was concerned that if I told you what Mon Enth was. Well, I feared it might force you into something you might not want, especially as I was not even certain what your feelings for me where."

I paused a moment, not even sure how to tell her all the things I needed to tell her. I felt for a moment that this was how she must feel every day, trying to explain her modern world to someone that did not fully understand it. Unsure of how to explain things simply enough that it would be understandable, and feeling that I would fail miserably. My eyes closed as I tried to remember a lesson I had been taught in my childhood that felt as if it were a lifetime away, a lesson I thought I would never have to teach another - yet here I was teaching a human.

Thorin would be appalled with me ... But Thorin wasn't here.

It was just me and Amber, and right now I needed her to understand what it was I felt because I was very sure if I didn't tell her now then I might lose her affections forever.

"You are Mon Enth ... My one."

My throat felt impossibly dry, and I didn't dare look at her after that, for I was too afraid that if I looked at her, I would once again lose all courage to say what I needed to say.

"I don't even know how to convey the depth of what it is to have a One to you. When humans fall in love, they do so repeatedly. Dwarves only fall in love once ... with their one. Someone forged for us from the very same block of stone by Mahal himself. Once you find your one you are drawn to them heart and soul, a sacred bond that not all dwarves are lucky enough to ever experience."

A smile slowly made its way over her lips, her eyes finally lifting from their intense inspection of my hands that still clung to hers, up my torso and then finally settling on my gaze. There was a slight hint of understanding in those eyes, as if she knew what I talked about, and it heartened me because she didn't seem the least put off by my explanation of what it meant for dwarrow to have a one.

"Like a soul mate?"

I tilted my head, having not realised that Humans might have a similar concept to a one. Then again, I had spent little time among the humans that inhabited middle earth. Maybe they had such a concept, and it had been an error on my behalf to not educate myself about the other races that inhabited my one time home world. Amber's lips lifted into the barest hints of a smile at my confused expression, and she let out a barely perceivable laugh.

"A soulmate is someone that just gets you. It's a connection of minds, a mutual respect, an unconditional love and a total understanding. It's about being yourself and knowing, not only that person is following and understanding your thoughts, but is right there with you, side by side... or that's what romantic story tales will have you believe."

So humans did have a similar concept, and it sounded just as rare as it was for a dwarf to find their one. I nodded my head softly, feeling that her words were more than adequate to explain what it was to have a One - to have someone that completed you in such a way that you would never be alone again no matter the distance that separated you.

My right hand left hers, moving to rest on the underside of her jaw so I could trace a thumb along the side of her cheek. Amber's eyes fluttered, half closing as she leaned in against the touch with a content smile on her face that brought warmth back into my heart at the realisation that the pain I had caused her had finally been eased.

"I want you to understand, you have no obligation toward me. If at any point you decide that you don't want to pursue this any further, than I will respect your choice."

I could feel the heat growing in her cheeks as my thumb moved to trace her lower lip, encouraged by the fact that she had not yet pushed me away. This might not have been what I had once envisioned my life to be, but it was slowly becoming something I was thankful to experience despite all the pains I had to endure to get here.

"I am grateful for your understanding, Fili. I might not know what it fully means to be your one, but I know that what I feel for you is stronger than what I've ever felt for anyone ... it scares me a little..."

"Because of Troy?"

She nodded, and the fear she felt that I might just up sticks and leave her just as Troy had once done was palpable. I didn't think it had always bothered her, that at first she had been okay to teach me and then let me out into the wide world, but now? Amber had discovered this new strong feeling of love for another, and the fear that person would leave her festered within her as painfully as any physical wound might. It disgusted me. You didn't abandon your one! I had to remind myself that Troy was a human and didn't feel such obligations, but that didn't stop me from thinking the only good use of the man would be as Warg fodder.

That Amber had still flirted with me despite all this was astounding.

"Oh, Amber ... I am so sorry. You are my one ... my only one ... I would never abandon you like that."

I wanted to tell her I couldn't live my life without her, that thinking of such a thing terrified me more than being away from my family. I had already told her she had no obligation toward me, but I already felt like I was toeing the line a little too close by telling her she would be my only love. Her eyes half opened, lips slowly reforming into that half smile once again and returning a confidence to me that while it scared her, she wanted something more from this.

"You don't have to be sorry. While all this scares me, it also excites me ... I'm glad it was my garden you ended up in,"

It was a sentiment I had thought on many a time, that I had been very lucky to have been dropped into her garden. I didn't know if this was something I had to thank Mahal for, but I silently thanked him regardless for giving me another chance at life - a happier life with someone that I could love. A playful smile bloomed into life on her face, her left hand finally leaving her lap and lifting to keep mine in place against her jaw as she moved to press her lips against the palm of my hand. The skin of my palms had lost some sensitivity after years of wielding a hammer and blade, but there was still enough feeling for me to lose myself in the momentary daydream of what it would be like to kiss her.

I didn't get to content myself in that daydream for long. One moment she had been beside me, happily resting her lips against my palm, and the next she had moved to straddle herself over my lap, her knees brushing against my hips as she settled herself in against me.

The playful glimmer in her eyes remained as she examined my face, as if she were waiting to see if my reaction to her forwardness would be favourable or not. I knew in my mind that I should have had better control of myself, but my body was already betraying my inner voice to not get too excited by the feeling of her center pressed up against me. Mahal, it didn't matter that she was wearing clothes; I was already hard, and I wanted her.

A husky sound of delight left her, and then her lips were on mine, warm and soft as she kissed me in a slow languid manner that left me breathless. I could have stayed there forever in that moment, basking in the sensation of her body against mine and my lips on hers, but eventually the need to breathe made itself known and I had to reluctantly break away from her.

"You're not making it easy for me to take this slow."

She let out a half chuckle, and I had to bite back a moan as she arched her hips into mine.

The woman was going to drive me to the edge of insanity, and yet I was not upset about that one bit - in fact, I had to say that I was rather enjoying her taking the initiative. I knew how to court a dwarrowdam, how far one should go, and what was acceptable. However, I had no idea how I went about courting a human woman, especially one in this modern era that had vastly different ideas about what that process involved - her taking the lead made it a bit easier. Amber rubbed her fingers along my jawline, ruffling the hairs of my beard, and I partially closed my eyes to watch her lustfully from behind my eyelashes.

"I know that you want this, Mahal knows I want it too. But I also want to respect the fact that you are fearful of how fast it has all happened. I admit I don't know what is expected of me here when it comes to courting a partner ... so I ask, that for now you will allow me to court you in the manner of my people."

It took all my self-control to carefully shift her off my lap, and then lower her to rest in against my side. I knew painfully that I still very much wanted her, but I remained firm in my resolve. I wanted to do this the right way - I would take care of my need later. For now, I contented myself to running my hand through her hair, her light brown locks silky smooth as they flowed through my fingers - some in my world might have thought her partially shaven head was unbecoming of a woman, but I found that I enjoyed the look of the style for it allowed me to see more of her beautiful face.

"If you would allow me, I would like to give you a courting braid ... I know no one here will know what it means, but we will know and that is all that really matters,"

She let out an indistinct sound of bliss as I continued to run my hands through her hair, content with this level of affection even if she craved something a little more intimate than this. If I had been in Erebor, I would have crafted her a bead or cuff specially for this occasion, but I was not in Erebor and nor was I in the blue mountains - there would be no specially crafted hair ornaments for my one. Amber shifted her head into my fingertips, a silent askance to continue my attentions as she finally responded to my question.

"I would like that very much."

I might not be able to craft her some hair ornaments of her own, but I had some of my own to give her. Even if that meant I would have to remove one or more of my own braids. I had worn my braids for years, each one given to me by members of my family to mark significant events in my life, and I never thought that I would ever have to remove them. My fingers continued their attentions of her hair as I considered each of my braids, silently asking myself if it would be one that I could live without. Finally, I reached the conclusion that I would remove the two braids of my moustache that my brother had given me just before we had departed from the blue mountains. Of all my braids I felt like these would be the ones that would get the most questioning looks from the humans of this world once I finally found my way out into the world beyond my home.

My home ... it felt nice to have a place to call my own, even if it didn't fully belong to me.

I spent a further three minutes contemplating how I would braid her hair. This would be a braid that she would hopefully wear for the rest of her natural life. Several ideas made themselves known to me, my fingers gently shifting her hair this way and that as I visualised the designs, but there was only one that I felt suited her.

The slow brushing of my fingers through her hair became more methodical as I formed a small French braid on the right side of her head that followed the line of the shaved section of her hair, the braid growing slightly in width as it flowed off her scalp. A low grumble of satisfaction left me as I finished my braiding, the first silver clasp fastening the very end of the braid, whilst its partner was artfully positioned two inches above it.

This was a braid that I might one day be able to compliment with a marriage braid on the opposite side of her head. I knew that was thinking a bit far ahead of myself, that there was no guarantee that a marriage would take place, but mother had it drilled into my head even before my majority that Courtship and Marriage braids where supposed to compliment one another and thus you should think very carefully what you wanted that overall design to be when you finally found a Dam that agreed to court you.

My mother would have been so happy for me, as would the rest of my kinfolk come to think of it. Amber might not be a dwarf, but they would never have questioned my choice to pursue her once they found out she was my one. I wished so desperately that all my kin could have met Amber, that they could know the woman that had captured my heart so fully, but it would never be.

It was the only sad mark in a world that was slowly becoming my one true place of happiness.