[TW for suicide ideation mention near the end.]

A/N. As per the request for more dialogue and longer chapters, enjoy! I may have edited this way too many times and just kept on adding words but.. dialogue really is fun and I was looking forward to this part since the beginning. Also, this was supposed to be tacked on to the last one but it seemed too long... little did I know it'd get longer. Anyway- requests and suggestions for cute fluffy moments are always welcome etc. etc., as well as general feedback! This is my first fic ever and once again, I have no idea what is going on !

At the beach, the two walked up near the water and sat down on the sand. Stiles tossed Ky a burger. It wasn't too crowded since visitors were heading home around this time. A fair was setting up in the parking lot across the way, complete with a ferris wheel.

"We should come back for that," she said, pointing and expecting a joke in return. But Stiles nodded instead.

"We should," he agreed.

The seagulls squawked above as they flew by. A few tried to steal their french fries, which made Ky laugh while Stiles tried to shoo them away. They ended up eating quickly and tossing the remainders to the birds.

"I know this was a long time ago, but… do you remember that night back at camp?" Ky asked, breaking the comfortable lull of silence. "After the first big hiking day, during the campfire. We were playing truth or dare."

"Oh, god. And then you asked who I liked." Stiles put his face in his hands, embarrassed.

She grinned. "Okay, but then I confessed my crush too, so all's fair." Katya. "So, as per that strangely serious conversation about the sheer horror of our pre-teen love lives…"

"Oh, no."

"Oh, yes." She paused for dramatic effect, a gleam in her eye. "... Did anything ever happen between you and Lydia?"

"Take a wild guess," he answered wryly. "Also, how do you remember that? It was years ago."

"I mean, it was pretty obvious in school too. Kinda sweet to see, actually." Ky chose not to mention the other girls who happened to like him, who went almost painfully unnoticed as a result of this head-over-heels crush. To be fair, she couldn't blame him. As a kid, Lydia had been a sharp-witted genius who didn't take crap from anyone. She seemed to always know the answer.

Stiles sighed exaggeratedly, and then thought about it. "Nothing happened- well, I guess we actually talk now. We're friends, I think." He frowned. "No, yea- we're just friends."

Ky raised her eyebrows. "You don't sound so sure."

"It's complicated. I mean, it is different now. We're older. Closer. Been through... some stuff." Stiles looked out at the water, mind elsewhere. "Hence the complications, I guess."

"Right." But Stiles glanced over and she must have looked disappointed, because he chuckled.

"What'd you expect? It's Lydia. Not untouchable, but… I dunno. And I'm, you know. The sidekick." He glanced at her knowingly. "Getaway driver."

Ky rolled her eyes. "More than that. You make a good tour guide, too," she added with a grin.

"You're absolutely right. I contain multitudes."

"Multitudes, yea," Ky agreed, trying not to laugh. "So…?"

"So…"

"Do you still like her?"

"Why do you care?"

"Research purposes... the conclusion to a thrilling seven-year wait. But, you don't actually have to answer if you don't want to. We can talk about something else, like-"

"Naw, it's okay. I'm gonna be merciless when it's your turn." A wicked grin, and then a turn back to the crashing waves. The tide was coming in, slow but sure. "She was my first crush, but it's kinda stupid to wait around when someone doesn't return those feelings. But if I stopped waiting, then what? It'd just be over." He grew decisive. "You know, I always knew this wasn't something I'd just get over. Besides, feelings aren't something you can pick and choose and turn off when you want to."

"They just happen," Ky agreed, the words resonating more than he could know. "And we get stuck with figuring out what to do about it."

"Exactly."

She shook her head. "Terrible deal."

A little kid shrieked with laughter while running into the water, her dad guffawing and going in after her and her mom standing worriedly, further back.

"I dated this girl for awhile," Stiles said suddenly. "Malia. It was good. We're sort of off-again right now, but still friends… and, that's about it." Ky could tell he cared a lot about this girl. Actually, she could tell that he cared a lot about anyone he talked about. He cleared his throat now, grinning mischievously. "Your turn."

"A general summary?"

"Whatever you'd like."

She thought about it. "Well, I told you about Katya, right? The girl from school back then."

"The violinist."

"Yea, her. Actually, that was probably just infatuation- never talked, doesn't count."

"Really? With the way you described her- melted chocolate brown eyes-"

"Oh my god, shut up-"

"Wispy blonde hair-"

"Shut up-"

Stiles laughed while Ky winced. "Ugh, so this is what it feels like on the other end. Also, it's weird how you remember that word for word."

"I have a good memory. Or, had. It's kinda hit or miss these days. Anyway- even if it was just infatuation, I think that still counts for something."

"Maybe." Ky smiled, remembering being enamored while watching Katya perform in elementary school talent shows and plays. "She moved away, right? After?"

Stiles nodded. "Like a year later. How'd you know?"

"I stalked her on Instagram." She scrunched up her face in shame. "Creepy, I know."

"Eh, everyone does it. I looked you up once."

Ky looked at him with raised eyebrows. "...Oh?" This was new information.

"Yea, it was nice talking and trying not to survive in the woods."

"When the mosquitoes weren't feasting on us."

"And when it wasn't thunder-storming."

Ky laughed at the memory. "How did none of us get pneumonia? We were so weak and so little."

"Beats me." Stiles shook his head. "But when it didn't feel like mother nature was personally trying to kill us... I dunno if it was the setting or the mutually shared mild traumatic experience of not getting eaten alive by various bugs but, you know. It was peaceful. Kinda fun."

"It was, yea."

"And then you went off-grid," he finished accusingly.

Ky winced. "Right. Except not really, because of social media. Where you searched me up on," she recalled, still highly amused. It was touching to know she'd been thought of at all after leaving.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Yea, yea, well now I don't know why I admitted it. You're having too much fun with it."

She laughed. "C'mon, it's funny. Wait, did you find me?"

"Yea, but you were on private."

She nodded in approval to her younger self. "To protect myself from people like you."

"Ha. As you should."

"How come you didn't message?"

"I mean, it didn't really matter. We weren't like long-time friends."

"You're right, definitely not. Actually, this is a pretty deep conversation for two people who were stuck in the woods for a week but never really talked before or after that."

"Hey, we went to school together."

Ky laughed. "Barely. When I felt good enough to show up."

"Oh yea, you were sick a lot. Was it anything serious, or...?"

"Nah, just a weak immune system. Plus anxiety, so. Anyways- for what it's worth, I checked on you guys too. To see how you were doing, how you were getting along."

"And? What'd you find?"

"You were getting along just fine." Ky smiled. There was a relief in that, both then and now. She crossed her legs, took the last sip of her milkshake. "I mean, it'd been a few years by then. Beginning of high school. Everyone looks different. Also, you don't post anything. How come?"

"I guess I don't do much insta-worthy stuff. Wait. You're stalling from the original question."

"Oh, right. What was it again?"

"A detailed account of your love life since age ten, the only reason either of us are here, duh. I'm kidding. I dunno, it does feel weird to ask that kinda stuff."

"Merciless, remember? You gotta be tough."

Stiles held up his hands in defense. "It still feels weird."

Ky grinned. "I know, you really volunteered your own information there. Like, I just wanted to know how-" She stopped short, about to say how you and Lydia ended up since it was so clear every time she saw the two of them, but that wasn't something to be easily explained without coming off as creepy. "How you were doing," she finished instead. "But it's only fair to do the same, so. Um. I dated my ex for a while. We broke up in April. And that's pretty much it."

"That sucks, about the breakup."

"Yea, I guess. I mean, he wasn't a jerk or anything so it's not like things ended badly."

"Do you still talk?"

"No."

He gave her a look.

"I mean, it didn't end well, either."

"Wait- he?"

"Yessir." She prepared for the usual questions.

"But Katya was…"

"A girl."

"So you're…"

"Going to like whoever I like." Ky was amused. "I've just got more to worry about than labels right now."

"No, yea, that's cool. There's so much other stuff going on."

"Exactly."

"Yea." Stiles seemed to be contemplating something. She rolled her eyes.

"Just ask," she said kindly.

He chuckled, having been caught. "Well, is there a point where you knew for sure? Like, even that you didn't want labels?"

"Mm, I think I've just always been too overwhelmed with everything else to think seriously or freak out about why I liked the people I liked. I mean, I know others are a lot more stressed than this, as is valid of them to be, and growing up in a small town definitely didn't help much either, but… we can't control our emotions. We can lie about them or pretend they don't exist, but that only makes things worse. In my opinion, anyway. I'd just... rather spend my time feeling what I'm feeling. Sorry- I got all preachy there."

Ky bit her lip, having realized she'd spoken too much.

"No, it does. Wise words, you know."

"It's nothing. Just life."

"Right. Life." Stiles had been tossing a pebble up and down, but now he caught it and stopped. "So, can I ask why you and your ex broke up? But only if you don't mind." He said it carefully, softly. It seemed uncharacteristic. Not merciless at all.

"Nope- um, I guess we just… ran out of things to say." She sat up straighter, resigned now after recalling the cold end. "To be honest, maybe it was just me who ran out of things to say. And then it wasn't easy anymore to pretend otherwise, you know?"

Stiles nodded. Ky smiled a bit, grateful to have someone to talk to about this. "He could tell, too. Well, I guess it's inevitable. Feelings pass." She shrugged, watched the waves crash in and the sea-foam bubble up before disappearing.

"Right. Hey, we're still young. We're young!" He stood up, turned to the sea to yell at it. "These are the best years of our lives!"

Ky laughed at his antics. "What are you doing?"

Stiles offered a hand and she took it. His palm was cold on her warm one, but with a strong grip regardless. He looked out at the water and then back at her with a spark in his eye. "That's enough catching up for now. I think we should go swimming."

Ky had no arguments, but had to hide her surprise when Stiles took off his shirt. His skin was pale, arms toned in a way she hadn't noticed earlier. She looked away before he could catch her staring now. They slipped off their shoes and yelled while running into the water like that kid had done earlier, legs getting soaked by the freezing waves. Ky could feel the smooth rocks underneath her feet, the thrill of wind in her air.

"It's deeper than I thought!" she yelled.

"What?!"

"I said, the tide's higher- ah!" A bigger wave had come forward, and she had to focus on jumping back to not get any more soaked since she didn't have a change of clothes. Stiles laughed from further out, having decided to fully swim around. Ky shook her head, unable to help an amused smile.

"I'm going back!"

"Already? Weak," he yelled back, still further out. She flipped him off and left him to enjoy the currents.

Ky sat down on the sand and stuck her legs out for the sun to dry. She checked the time- a bit past six- and called her grandparents to say she'd be home in a few hours.

"Have you eaten?" her grandmother asked.

"Yep."

"You're not alone, right?"

"No, with a friend," she answered, watching as Stiles flailed in the water to keep his balance.

"Okay, as long as there's company. Is it that neighbor boy again? Tell him to keep you safe." Ky rolled her eyes and had to stifle laughter as she watched Stiles yelp in surprise at something. He saw her and yelled again. "It was just seaweed!"

She exaggerated a nod to him. "Yea, I'll mention it," she said slowly, with no intention of ever doing so. "Also, he's only a friend, Grandma. Okay, see you later."

"See you. Be safe!" The call ended with a beep.

Ky took out her sketchbook and did a quick doodle of Stiles flailing in the water because it was too funny to pass up. Then she did a better one, a close-up of him grinning. But the face came out wonky. One more try, to get the eyes right. It was difficult to strike the exact balance between tired, sad, and... happy? Was that the right word? Or maybe relieved was more accurate, for some yet unknown reason. These were the consistent emotions she felt when they sat next to each other. Usually, anyway. Today, she just felt content.

Most people were a ratio of positivity, negativity, and something brewing underneath that they didn't want to think about. So it wasn't strange that Stiles fit this ratio as well. What was strange was how much of the last part there was, compared to the other two.

Dark eye circles. A frown. An almost cold, mostly exhausted version appeared, staring back. She cocked her head. Eerily familiar. When she glanced up, Stiles was heading back. She packed up her things and took out the towel, having forgotten about it earlier. Wondered about this boy, this mysterious guy with a sarcastic joke always on the tip of his tongue.

Ky tossed the towel to Stiles. "Catch."

"You just had this the whole time?" He was smiling easier now, looking refreshed.

"Yea, I brought it to sit on but forgot."

He laughed, dried his arms. "Thanks." He sat down by her and they looked out at the sun, now lower than before. It would be hours before it set, but some time had definitely passed since they'd gotten here. Ky remembered her film camera and convinced him to take a picture with her. The memories, she insisted. "Don't waste the film," he returned.

"Pleaaase."

"... Fine."

A peace sign, wide grins. Flash.

"So, you're into photography?"

"Sorta. I'm more so just doing my part in singlehandedly reviving the film photography industry."

"How's that going?"

"It's a little dire, I can't lie."

They packed up and headed down the boardwalk, back to the car. "Question," Stiles said, as their steps sounded on the rickety wood. "What is the best thing that's ever happened to you?"

"Huh. I never really thought about that. Moving away, I guess?"

"How come?"

"Okay, Mr. Ted-Talk guy. Um, I guess it was the first time I had friends. And someone who's probably my best friend... I know, it's kinda lame, right?"

"No, it makes sense. I never really saw you hanging out with anyone here. What, we weren't cool enough for you?" Raised eyebrows. He ran a hand through wet hair.

Ky laughed. "A little bit of that, a little bit of crippling social anxiety." And a little bit of the yet unending ability to share other people's woes and joys, a little bit of the desperate need to keep that hidden. Variety as the spice of life.

"Right, that. Does it- I mean, do you still get anxious now?" Stiles threw a pebble out into the water and they watched as it rippled.

"I'm managing a lot better. Did some counseling. It's like a half-step down from therapy."

"Oh, same. That's good, then."

Ky was surprised. "You did counseling too?"

Stiles nodded. "I was having panic attacks. Well, I've always had them." He frowned. "But it got worse in middle school, after my mom.. and then they kinda tapered off in high school for a bit. They're rare now." But they were back, was the unspoken meaning.

"Mm. I'm glad."

"Yea." He glanced at her suspiciously as they walked. "You're concerningly easy to talk to when you haven't just been hit by a car."

"I've been told. In those exact words."

"Huh. That's probably gonna be a problem."

"Only if you have something to hide."

"You talk like not everyone does."

"... Touche."

At least they were on the same page. "So, are you still best friends with Scott?"

"Who? McCall?" Stiles said it with mock disdain, but the easy way that the name rolled off his tongue gave it away.

"Yea, the one you were attached at the hip to. Asthma, brown hair."

"Ha," he said, dropping the act. "Yea, we're still good."

"The bromance of it all… love is real."

"Shut up."

Ky grinned. It was a pleasant surprise to hear that they were still friends. It seemed like a lot of friendships fractured after middle school. A friendly-looking older woman who was walking her golden retriever passed them by. The retriever came up to them and they gushed over it for a bit before bidding farewell. The people here seemed so happy.

"So, you said Lydia's a friend now, too. Are you all in a group, or...?"

Stiles nodded. "Yea, it's us three. Now." He paused, looked at the ground. Eyes hardened, words stilted. "Used to be four."

"What happened?"

"She passed away." He looked ahead toward the beach. "Her name was Allison."

Any time death was mentioned, there was often a sense of looming grief that came with it. Even now, there were remnants in the air. "I'm sorry about that."

"Yea. Me, too." They walked in silence after that, while the seagulls squawked overhead. Music could be heard playing at a gazebo nearby. The family from earlier was heading home now, too; they passed by them to cross the street. Ky smiled at the little girl, who offered a gap-toothed grin in return. After they passed, Stiles spoke again. "And then there's Isaac, he's … annoying. And Kira, who's more Scott's friend than mine. I don't know her that well."

Sounded like a solid group, at least in numbers. Isaac sounded eerily familiar, but Kira didn't. "Can you count on them?"

"...Yea," he answered after a thoughtful pause. "I'd say so."

Ky nodded. It was warm out, but the breeze by the water was chilly. She put her hands in her pockets to warm them. "That's all you need."

"True enough."

"Does Isaac have curly hair?"

"Yea. You remember him?"

"Vaguely. I think I did a project with him or something."

"Huh, could be. How about you? Tell me about your life, I'm talking too much."

"To be fair, I keep asking questions. I like knowing how people are now. We were so little back then."

"You talk like you're fifty."

"It's how old I feel." Ky had always felt like she'd known too much and nothing about how to deal with it. "Okay, so there's Liz who's the artsy one, Hannah who's her best friend and into sciences. But besides that, they're both eerily similar. Um, and then there's Bex who's just sort of radiantly doing her own thing all the time."

"Mm. They sound cool."

"Yea. Bex is the one I'm closest to."

"But only 'probably' your best? Why, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Yea, I dunno. Something happened. It's been a rough year." The words came out like a brush-away comment, a wave of the hand to wave the words away. These weren't her secrets to tell, she reminded herself. Stiles nodded and glanced at her, eyes sincere. More lucid, for the first time since that night in the back-roads. Ky broke the gaze first.

"How come?"

They were so far away from any familiar place... Maybe it was the calm setting or the calm day. Maybe it was how Stiles was the first person to ask directly about what had happened. Mostly, it was the feeling of having mountains on her back, and knowing that talking about it might relieve a bit of weight.

Ky felt guilty about wanting to, but secrets were so very heavy.

"Can this stay between us?"

"Yea, of course."

"Swear?"

"Scout's honor."

"Were you ever a scout?"

"Uh, no. Hypothetical scout's honor?"

"Ha. Good enough, I guess." She hesitated. "Ever had a friend who didn't wanna live anymore?"

"Yea, actually." The response was quicker than expected. "But it was partly due to a supernatural poison that prevented him from thinking clearly, so I don't know if that counts." Stiles was nonchalant and Ky couldn't tell whether he was joking.

"... Weird way to describe depression, but okay." They both chuckled at that, although Stiles' was more hollow. "Wait- are you serious?"

"Nah, I'm just messing with you." But there wasn't the usual smugness that came afterward, and he was glancing at the sky while saying it. "But it did happen. And it was tough, really terrifying shit. Hope your friend's okay."

"... I hope so, too. And yours."

"Yea, he's doing alright." A mustered smile. "How about you?"

"I'm fine. It's not me who's not doing great," Ky retorted, then regretted it. "Sorry. I know you're just- and that was weirdly defensive-"

"No, I get it. It feels stupid to feel bad when you're not even the person who has it the worst."

"Right? Sometimes I feel like the side character in the story because of that. Like, I haven't been through enough to deserve to feel bad." Ky paused after hearing her own words. "But I know that's silly and we're the main characters of our lives and everything."

"Well..."

"Well," she echoed in agreement, chuckling. "I guess either way, we can feel guilty about feeling guilty or just feel like shit, period... But it's easier said than done."

Stiles nodded, pointed at the both of them. "Multitudes."

"I don't think that's what Whitman meant."

"Then layers. Like an onion."

"A Shrek reference. Better."

"I live to please."

She chuckled. "Thanks for asking. And listening. You're a good listener. Add that to the list of concerning things."

"Done, two and counting. This duo," Stiles said, pointing to her and then himself, "is going to be disaster. I can feel it."

"Mm, you and me both."

"You know what you've got going for you though?"

"What?"

"Emotional intelligence. You literally just advised yourself."

"Ha. Thank you, it's also basically the only thing I've got going for me. Okay, how about you?" she asked, changing the subject.

"What I've got going for me?"

She laughed. "No, what's your best thing? That's ever happened."

"Oh, right." Stiles thought about it. "Well, we had a pizza night and watched a horror movie last Friday. Me and the pack- I mean, the gang. Group, whatever. We haven't seen each other much since school got out, and everyone's gonna be pretty busy this summer, so." Stiles smiled now at the memory. "That was nice. Fun. Relaxing."

"Horror movies as relaxing... okay."

"Do you not like horror movies?"

"No, I hate them with extreme passion."

"Well, that's it for this budding friendship."

"I knew it was too good to be true." She grinned. "Anyway, that's so recent."

He shrugged. "Yea, but still the best... until the next one comes along. Best is yet to come, right?"

Wise words. Ky looked at him, pleasantly surprised at this optimism. "I guess so."

Stiles's words lingered in the air as they sighted his jeep across the street. Ky turned around and he followed suit to watch the waves, one last time. The sun was beginning to set, and the pair were trying to avoid the fact that it was time to go home.