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Chapter 7 – Dreaming
Day 5
"Where are you taking me?"
Something was up. The Straw Hats had come back looking even more serious than when they'd left, and had barely said a word to him before grabbing the three who'd stayed behind and dragging them as far away as possible without being out of sight. Zoro would have appreciated the extra space, but they were looking at him so often he might as well have been right next to them as far as his churning stomach was concerned, and there were a lot of wild gestures in his direction and near-shouts. It was obvious who they were discussing, and not having the details only made it worse. Dinner had been almost silent, and though he'd only been there a day, Zoro knew that wasn't normal.
And now they were dragging him somewhere on the ship, to "show him something".
"We wanted to show you our room!" Usopp was trying too hard to sound happy. Maybe a three-year-old would have fallen for it, but Zoro knew better. "There's a ton of cool stuff in there."
"I hope you're not counting the smell as one of them." Nami wrinkled her nose as Luffy pushed open the door.
"Hey, we just cleaned everything a week ago, I'll have you know!" Usopp shot back. Nami didn't look impressed.
Zoro stopped just outside. He didn't want to go in there. Nothing they wanted to show him could be good, and his stomach had flipped weakly when he'd watched Luffy walk through that door. Just as he was debating making a break for the kitchen, Chopper bumped into him from behind. Zoro's skin prickled like he'd had a jar of ants dumped over him, and he shot into the room with a yelp, narrowly avoiding banging his head against the side of a sink. He scowled at it. Why did they even have a sink in here when they could just go to one of the bathrooms?
"Sorry, I'm sorry!" Chopper squeaked from the doorway.
Zoro didn't respond. He didn't look at any of them. Instead, he braced himself and took his first look around the room.
It didn't seem that special, as rooms went. A bunch of bunk beds, a row of lockers…the table that seemed to be halfway through the floor was sort of interesting, but wasn't really enough to be called "a ton of cool stuff" on its own. The room had the same unsettling feeling of home as the rest of the ship, but that was all. Why had they wanted him to—
A creak announced Brook opening one of the lockers. Despite himself, Zoro stepped forward. He was suddenly sure he didn't want to see what was in there, but his feet weren't listening to him. Brook noticed him coming, and stepped aside, and—
What.
The locker was more than half full of various things, but Zoro only had eyes for three. Then his world narrowed again, and the locker might as well have been empty except for the white sword.
Why—
His stomach clenched. A noise rang in his ears, angry and hurt and lost, and it took him several long moments to understand it was coming from him.
That's…
How he remembered the sword so well when he barely remembered the girl, Zoro didn't know, but he'd recognized it immediately. Wadō. Her sword. His sword?
"Why is that here?" he demanded, rounding on the Straw Hats. One of them took a step forward, and Zoro growled. This sword shouldn't be here. They shouldn't have it. This was wrong, because if Wadō was here, then—
"We found them in the forest," Nami told him. Something in him almost relaxed, because if they'd just found Wadō, if it hadn't been left here, maybe that meant—but they'd still taken it, stolen it, when it had been hers…
"It's not yours!"
"You're right," Robin said. She had taken something off the wall—a sheet of paper?—and held it out to him. "They're his."
She was too far away for him to reach, but she sprouted arms from the floor and passed the paper along until it was right in front of him and he had no choice but to look at it.
If he'd seen the paper a day ago, he would have thought the man in the wanted poster was scary. After looking at it for a bit, he might have admired how fierce the man was, would have imagined looking that powerful himself someday. But Zoro had seen his own reflection now, and he wasn't an idiot.
The man in the poster looked just like him.
Only he didn't, because he was a man, an adult, with a hard face and a thick neck and earrings, and Zoro was just…
His eyes skipped down to the name printed beneath the photo. And they'd said their missing friend had the same name as him, but seeing "Roronoa Zoro" in big black letters, describing someone who wasn't, couldn't be him… He hadn't even known the name "Roronoa" before looking at the poster, but the moment he saw it, it felt just as much his as "Zoro" was. It made no sense. It wasn't possible.
One hand touched his face, just below his left eye. He couldn't feel the silver line. There was no bump or dip to mark the spot as any different from the rest of his skin. But he knew it was there, he'd seen it in the bathroom mirror, and he knew it was in the same place as the scar that had taken this man's eye.
Exactly the same place.
"What—" The word came out in a whine. "I don't—No—" Why wouldn't his voice listen to him?
"You're Zoro," Luffy said. "Our Zoro."
"No—"
"I know it sounds strange." Brook's hand moved as though to grasp Zoro's shoulder, but Zoro recoiled and he pulled it back. "But we've seen enough to know that strange doesn't mean impossible."
Zoro whipped his head from side to side, as though he could shake their words from his ears if he tried hard enough. He hated how much sense they made, if you could just accept one impossible thing as being true. Except they didn't make sense at all, because for all that the ship felt like home, these people didn't. Home wasn't supposed to make you feel bad.
More importantly, if they'd been after him all this time because they thought he was their friend, that meant—
"We want to help you," Robin said. "Something happened to you on this island, and if we can find out what, we may be able to undo it, to fix—"
"No!" Zoro ripped the wanted poster from the Robin-hand. He crushed it as hard as he could, relief and dread mingling as that man's piercing gaze disappeared from view.
He'd been right.
"All this time!" He hurled the crumpled paper to the ground. Robin's words had been the spark he needed to turn terror into anger, and he had more than enough to fuel the fire. They'd upset him when they'd insisted on keeping him on the ship, and when they'd asked him weird things, but they'd been…nice, otherwise, and if he could have come here by his own choice and without any bad feelings following him, he might even have enjoyed himself, might have hoped for—
But this…he wished he'd been wrong. This was even worse than being a prisoner. "You spent all this time acting friendly, but you don't care about me at all!"
"Of course we do!" Nami said. "You're not listening—"
"I am. You never needed my help, you never wanted me, you just didn't want to lose me before you could trade me in for your real friend. I can't believe I thought…" The room had gone blurry. No. He couldn't cry, he couldn't. He didn't want them to know how much it hurt.
"No!" Chopper's shrill cry made Zoro's ears hurt. "That's not true!"
"I'm not good enough, so you want to fix me!" Stupid. He was so stupid. He didn't even want to be here; why would he be upset that they didn't want to keep him?
"That's not what I meant at all," Robin said. "Zoro—"
"You're wrong!" Zoro stomped his foot, and a small cloud of dust rose from the floor. See? They're liars. They lied about cleaning, and they lied about wanting you. "I'm not him, I'm not yours, I can't be!"
"Yes you are," Luffy said. "You don't remember right now, but you're still Zoro. We're friends."
"Luffy," Robin said, "I don't think—"
"We aren't!" Zoro couldn't stop the tears anymore, but he wouldn't, couldn't, let the anger leave, because as long as he was angry, he could stop himself from backing away, from cringing or flinching or acting like a scared little boy.
Even if that was what he was.
"You don't understand anything! You have no idea how bad it feels, being near you!" Zoro swiped at his eyes and glared furiously at Luffy, beating back the wave of nausea that rolled through him as their gazes met. "I can't be your Zoro, because I'd die if I had to live like this all the time!"
It was Luffy's turn to flinch back, face falling, and Zoro felt something twist inside. He gave the feeling one shuddering gasp, then forced it away, too. He had to stay strong.
"Get out." The words left him in a hiss like an angry cat. The Straw H—the outsiders shuffled, uncertain.
"C'mon now." Sanji was trying for cheerful, but he was fooling no one, least of all Zoro, with his mask of a smile. "We can't just—"
"Get out!" Zoro's fist closed on empty air. There were swords behind him, but if he turned around to grab one, he'd never be able to look back again. He'd lose. "Liars. If we really were friends, you'd trust me enough to leave me alone!"
They wanted to argue. Of course they did. They wouldn't give up, just like that. What would they try next? They still hadn't said anything. Were they mad? Something cold wormed its way through his insides, the silence eating away at the flames of his anger. What were they going to do to him?
"Get out," he repeated, the words barely more than a whisper. Please.
"Okay."
Luffy's voice was almost as quiet as Zoro's had been, but everyone jumped.
"I trust my friends, and you're my friend. So we'll leave. But we're not giving up on you."
Luffy took a step back, then another, and then all of them were heading for the door. Zoro's legs felt like limp balloons, but somehow he stayed on his feet as they filed out into the night, shooting him awkward, anxious looks as they went.
In spite of being the first to move, Luffy was last to leave. He lingered in the doorway, biting his lip.
Zoro dropped his gaze to the floor as the sour taste in his mouth grew stronger. He couldn't look anymore. Don't. Please don't. Leave. Leave now, or I'm gonna—
"Night, Zoro." There was a soft click as the door shut.
Zoro crashed to the floor, heaving up his dinner in between great shuddering sobs.
He went to the swords, once the tears had stopped and he'd wiped his mouth and his legs were willing to support him again. He reached for Wadō first, brushing a finger along its sheath, then wrapping a hand around it, but not quite daring to pick it up. He still didn't want to believe it was his Wadō, but it felt too familiar to be anything else. He'd know this sword anywhere, even a place like this, where it shouldn't be.
He didn't recognize the other two swords, but he loved them immediately. They were beautiful. He wanted to wield them. His hand moved forward unconsciously, touching the red sword—
Zoro jumped back, shivering. What was that? For an instant, he'd been sure he was facing down a bloodthirsty beast, not a sword.
His body automatically fell into a fighting stance, and he glared at the sword. "What's your problem?"
The sword said nothing.
"I'm not afraid of you!" Lie, and the sword knew it. He was scared. Not because of the sword's sharp edge, or even its unsettling aura, but because it felt like the sword knew him, even if he didn't know it. He was being judged, and the sword wasn't pleased with what it saw. The image of a loyal dog turning on its master leapt to mind—which was stupid, because this wasn't his sword.
"Leave me alone," Zoro growled at it. "This wasn't my idea, so there's no point being mad at me."
The sword said nothing.
"If you want to fight, I'm ready," Zoro said. "I won't run away, even if I am scared!"
The sword said nothing, and Zoro's cheeks warmed. What was he doing? He was standing alone in this room, shouting at a sword. Of course it wasn't going to answer him; it was a sword. Except…maybe it was just his imagination, but the dark aura in the room didn't seem as intense anymore. Still there, but watchful rather than threatening. Maybe it had heard him, somehow.
Tearing his eyes away from the swords, Zoro looked down, spotting a roughly folded pile of cloth on the floor of the locker. It was dirty and worn, but he reached for it anyway, because it was something to think about that wasn't the outsiders, or the three swords in front of him. (He had avoided looking closely at the third sword so far; if he looked at it, he wouldn't be able to keep himself from touching it, and he wasn't ready for another battle of wills so soon after the red sword.)
Zoro shook out the bundle of cloth. A rumpled mess that might have been pants fell to the floor, along with a red sash and a green thing he didn't immediately recognize the purpose of. He ignored them, though, focusing on the item he still held: a long coat, dark green and heavy. It was possibly the coolest piece of clothing Zoro had ever seen.
Without quite realizing what he was doing, Zoro slipped the coat on. His fingers fumbled with the buttons, but eventually he managed most of them. He retrieved the sash from the floor and tied it around his waist, then shuffled over to the sink, where someone had left a crate to serve as a footstool. He climbed up and peered into the mirror.
He was drowning in cloth. Even with the topmost buttons done, the neck was so wide it was a miracle the coat was still on his shoulders, and without the tightly-knotted sash, the whole thing would surely be on the floor.
How big had he been, the man who'd worn this coat? He'd tower over Zoro, tall and broad and strong in a way even an adult would find hard to match. And the outsiders thought Zoro was him?
The crumpled bounty poster on the floor caught his eye. Zoro made his way to it, nearly tripping every other step as the coat dragged on the floor. He picked up the paper and smoothed it out, staring at the creased photo. The single eye glared, not even looking at the camera yet piercing through him like a burning spear. Only the face was pictured, but Zoro could see the outline of phantom muscles extending outward, as though the man's ghost was coming to life on the page. His eyes caught unwillingly on small details: the green hair peeking out from beneath the ink-black bandana, the deep scar that matched his strange marking, the unsettlingly familiar shape of the man's good eye and scowling brows.
Zoro shivered. As much as he didn't want to, he could see the resemblance. This man was very like the way he'd imagined himself as a grown-up in his dreams. He had no trouble picturing this man holding the title of world's greatest swordsman.
This man could easily beat the promise-girl who'd always defeated him. She wouldn't even be a challenge.
It was too much, too far, too different. This wasn't him. This couldn't be him. Someone like this, someone this powerful, couldn't have lost it all so fast, been reduced to a baby like him.
He squashed the bounty poster into the tightest ball he could manage and threw it as hard as he could. It bounced off the wall with a soft thwack and tumbled gently to the floor.
The man probably could have thrown it hard enough to crack a board.
Zoro yanked at the coat. The sash's knot stuck. He tore at it with his tiny child's fingers, suddenly sure the fabric was tightening around him. It wrapped around his chest, his throat, it was choking—
The knot came loose, and Zoro flung the sash away, leaving the coat in a heap on the floor as he ran back to the swords. He snatched up Wadō, suddenly desperate for comfort from the one thing in this place he truly recognized. With a thump, he fell to his knees, hugging the sword close to him.
He didn't know how long he sat there, crying and cuddling Wadō like it was a teddy bear. What finally brought him back to his surroundings was the whisper of a name curling through his mind.
Kuina.
Had the sword told him, or had his broken, tattered memory managed to spit it out at last? Zoro didn't know, but he had a name for the promise-girl, and he was going to hold on to it with everything he had.
Kuina. "I'm sorry," he whispered into the silent room. "I won't forget you again."
Still hugging Wadō, Zoro picked himself up and tottered over to the sunken table. It was warmer here, and the low couches looked more comfortable than the floor. Wiping his eyes, he settled down.
At first, Zoro simply sat, but as his tears dried and the storm of emotion inside him settled, he began to slump sideways.
If anyone had looked into the room half an hour later, they would have seen a small green-haired boy, fast asleep, his legs dangling under the heated table, his arms wrapped around a white sword taller than he was.
He was cold. He was so, so cold. Where had the heated table gone? Zoro felt chilled to the bone, like his heart had frozen over. He couldn't focus. The man in front of him yapping about defying some king and death didn't help. The man wearing a long, thick, fur-lined winter coat—
"Hey, Usopp." Zoro's frozen face cracked in a smile. He'd just found a way to solve both problems at once. "I've seen that uniform before. Am I mistaken, or didn't we meet them at sea?" He didn't remember anything of the sort, but his mouth spoke the words as though it had a mind of its own, and Zoro was too cold to argue.
"Yeah, you're right, we did."
"Then they're not our friends, right? Right? They're the enemy, right?"
"They're the enemy, all right," Usopp said. "But what are you so worked up about?"
Zoro let his actions answer for him. He sprang forward, fist cracking across the man's face hard enough to draw blood and bringing the irritating stream of mocking, threats, and laughter to a halt. He ignored the gasps and exclamations that followed, too busy stripping the man of all his winter gear.
"Nice and warm!" Zoro declared as he hugged his new fur coat. It felt so good to not be cold anymore.
"You just wanted his clothes?" Usopp screeched at him. "You're nuts."
Ahhh, being warm is the best.
"Kill him!" yelled the coat-donor's men, and charged.
Zoro looked up. "Oh? They never learn, do they?"
He had only borrowed swords, but they were more than enough. It hardly lasted long enough to be called a fight.
"What? It's over already?" So much for some light exercise to finish warming him up. "What a bunch of wimps!"
There was a sniff behind him. Zoro turned. Chopper, Nami, Sanji, Luffy, and Usopp were lined up behind him, crying.
"We can't help it!" they sobbed together, clutching the bars of a railing that hadn't been there a moment ago. "We miss Vivi!"
His new coat was gone. That didn't matter much, though, because the snow had disappeared along with it. It was sunny now, and warm, and the wooden deck of a ship rolled under him. That all seemed odd, for a moment, but all the noise and wailing quickly distracted him.
"Quit crying!" he yelled at them. "If you couldn't stand to leave her, you should have kidnapped her!" Like you did to me.
Five shocked stares met his eyes as the ship rolled under him.
"What?" said Chopper. "Barbarian!"
"You're the worst," Nami told him.
"Marimo," spat Sanji.
"Three-Sword style," Luffy said, pouting.
"Wait, Luffy," Usopp said. "That's not an insult."
"Four-Sword style, then," Luffy grumbled.
"How is that any better? Listen, you know what natto is, right? Even if you call natto rotten, it wouldn't—"
Zoro had had enough. He didn't even know what they were yelling at him for. "Fine! Cry as much as you want! But I won't allow any of you to go get him!"
He blinked. Hadn't they been talking about a girl?
"Huh? Why not?" Luffy wasn't crying anymore. They weren't on the ship anymore, either. They were indoors, somewhere that didn't look familiar.
Once again, his mouth was moving on its own, saying things he hadn't planned to say. And he felt—not angry, exactly, but like he would be soon, if the wrong choice was made. If Luffy bowed his head to someone he shouldn't. If someone who should apologize didn't.
First Chopper, then Nami, tried to protest, but Zoro's mouth had things to say, and they weren't going to stop it.
"Shut up!" he roared at them. "What Luffy and Usopp were thinking when they started arguing, who was right and who was wrong…that doesn't matter. When two men decide to have a duel, the outcome of that duel decides that argument. Usopp lost, and walked out on us on his own. Listen, all of you. This guy may be an idiot," and Zoro watched his hand move, knocking his sword against Luffy's head as the words kept coming, "but he's still our captain. We're better off without a crewmate who can't respect the captain when things get tough!"
He grabbed Luffy's cheek like it was a naughty dog's scruff and stretched it out. Oddly, the skin contact didn't burn at all. "If a captain stops demanding respect, his crew will fall apart without fail!" Zoro twisted the cheek harder. Luffy was glaring at him, but it was just a glare, not a lance of fire that made him want to shrivel up, and it was the easiest thing in the world to glare right back. "I don't care how much you screw around under normal circumstances, but if you humiliate yourself yet claim to be above me, the next one to leave this crew will be me!"
The world went fuzzy, like he had stepped through a staticky den-den mushi recording. When it came back, the people around him were out of place, like they'd all taken a step or two while he'd been distracted.
"—can just tell him all that after he's back!" Nami was saying.
Even though he'd only heard half of what she'd said, Zoro snapped, slamming the end of his sword against the floor. "Is leaving the crew such a simple matter?" he shouted.
"Well, if it's not simple," said a voice, "then why did you just leave the square as though you were escaping?"
"Don't be stupid," Zoro said, looking the giant mermaid in her very large eyes—because of course there was a giant mermaid; why wouldn't there be? And they were back on a ship again, though it wasn't the same ship as last time. "We already had to fight in that square like some kind of circus show. The last thing we want is to stick around and be treated like heroes. The thought of it makes me sick!"
"Is there something wrong with being a hero?" asked the giant mermaid.
"Let me lay it out for you," Zoro said. "The hero is the guy who shares his booze with others! I wanna drink all the booze! Besides, I'm going to the shore. I wanna go fishing."
"No way, shithead!" said the giant mermaid, who had somehow turned into Sanji—and gotten much smaller, thankfully—when Zoro hadn't been looking.
"Why not?" Zoro sneered at him. "And why the hell should I listen to you?"
"Do you think I'm walking with you because I want to? You'll just cause me more trouble if I let you keep wandering around the island, you lost Marimo! The others will be here soon, so just shut up and follow me back to the ship!"
"Tch." Zoro blew out a breath. "Hmph. How could No. 7 tell No. 1 what to do?"
"Why are you ranking us in order of our arrival?" Sanji demanded. "It's a miracle you got here first! Don't let it go to your head!"
"Sure, sorry…No. 7."
Sanji snapped. The part of Zoro that wasn't angry smirked in satisfaction. "That's it! I spent two years in hell training my legs! I'm gonna gut you like a fish!"
"Bring it on!" Zoro shot back, swords already drawn. "I'll cut you in—"
"Zoro!" Luffy's voice cut in. "Kin'emon!" He waved at them from behind a barred window.
"Luffy!" Zoro ran over to him. Sanji had disappeared, though someone new and much taller had taken his place and was making frantic shushing motions. "Don't shout, idiot!" Zoro shouted.
Again, his surroundings rippled into static, then reformed, leaving Zoro feeling half a step out of touch with the world in spite of the fact that no one seemed to have moved much during the interruption.
"—do you want, Zoro?" Luffy was asking brightly.
Never mind the staticky world. "Listen, you!" Zoro said sternly. "If you knew there was going to be a tournament like this, why the hell didn't you invite me along?"
Luffy chuckled. "Sorry, sorry!"
"You're here having fun while we're running all over town—"
"That is not the message we are here to deliver!" exclaimed the tall man. "Besides, he has already lost!"
Zoro whirled on him. "You sure? Luffy already lost once?"
The tall man had shrunk into Usopp, who nodded grimly. "Caesar was bragging that he suffocated him! He's made of gas, remember?! He can suck all the oxygen out of the air!"
"And we got put to sleep by those snowmen," Zoro growled. "That's no good! Being careless will get you killed in a heartbeat."
"Hey now, we're all alive, aren't we?" Usopp said, grinning.
"It's not funny!" said Zoro, spinning on his heel. "Hey, Luffy!"
Luffy looked down at him from a high catwalk. "Huh?"
Zoro sent him the best glare he could manage. "Get a grip! The New World starts from here!"
Luffy's eyes widened. Then a determined smile stretched his face. "Yeah, sorry! I won't let my guard down again!"
His words were immediately put to the test, as enemies flooded the catwalk. "It's Straw Hat!" one of them shouted. Luffy didn't hesitate, running straight at them. "Shoot him! Who knows what he'll do!"
Luffy stopped dead.
"Zoro!" Luffy stood beside him now, as the catwalk had disappeared. "Don't fight them, no matter what!"
The room, which had become much smaller, erupted in laughter.
Nami shouted at them to fight, sounding near tears, but he and Luffy just stood there, taking blows and verbal abuse from the bar full of pirates. It hurt, and Zoro wanted it to stop, but Luffy had told him not to fight, and so he wouldn't. It was important that he didn't.
Finally, the pirate's leader took a long drink, wiped his mouth, and stood. "Not only are they weak, they've got no pride. They won't get into a single fight, and yet…their heads are full of dreams. They're like worms."
His men shouted in agreement.
"I'm done here," the pirate said. "A weak-looking shorty worth thirty million…I wondered what kind of man he was. But this is more than a letdown, it's an embarrassment! I've never seen such cowards before."
"So you don't know!" A new voice broke in gleefully. "There's a hundred million-berry bounty on his head now! And you, Pirate Hunter Zoro, you're worth sixty million!"
Zoro wobbled as the deck of a ship rolled under him. The pirate bully and his men were gone, and they were at sea, in what looked like the middle of a storm. They weren't the only ones stupid enough to do it, either—the man who'd yelled out their bounties was on a raft that barely qualified as a ship, and Zoro could see another ship, much bigger, out of the corner of his eye.
"It's true!" Usopp called to him, peering through a pair of binoculars. "There are new posters! Zoro, you have a bounty now!"
"What?" Sanji yelled, running over to Usopp. "Now hold on! What about me?! There's one for me, too, isn't there?!"
"Nope," Usopp said.
"Look closer!"
"Nope."
Zoro grinned proudly.
"I see! Your bounties went way up after the Alabasta incident!" Nami said. "A hundred million…"
Luffy threw his hands in the air, practically jumping in excitement. "Did you hear that? I'm worth a hundred million!"
"Only sixty million? How disappointing!" Zoro said, still grinning. His first bounty. He couldn't remember ever actually wanting to be a pirate, but this was surely something to celebrate.
"Stop celebrating!" Nami yelled at them, as though she'd heard his thoughts.
"Hey, you guys!" yelled a new voice from the second ship."Don't get distracted! It's coming! The Pacifista! Brace yourselves!"
"Pacifista?"
The storm was gone. The ships were gone. And Zoro hurt so much more than he had back in the bar.
A huge man stood in front of him. "Yes. My developer is the government's genius scientist, Dr. Vegapunk. He is the most brilliant man in the world. It's said his scientific knowledge is 500 years ahead of the rest of mankind."
"With a body like that, and a devil fruit power…" Zoro was having trouble breathing, but again, words came out, like he was just a puppet on strings. But puppets didn't feel, and Zoro did. All the pain, all the despair, every fading scrap of determination. He couldn't have said what had happened here if his life had depended on it, but every emotion was as real as if he'd lived through it himself. "I feel like hope is vanishing. As you can imagine, my body refuses to do as I tell it. Do you absolutely insist on taking Luffy's head?"
"That is the most I can compromise," said the man.
Zoro looked at Luffy. He was bloody, battered, and far, far too still. But in spite of his injuries, he looked peaceful, like he was sleeping in a bed instead of lying unconscious in a pile of rubble. It was like he knew he'd done what he needed to, and trusted that everything would be fine while he slept and recovered.
"All right. I'll give you a head," Zoro said. "However, in place of his…I would appreciate it if you took my life instead! My bounty isn't worth much yet, but I would have become the greatest swordsman in the world! This should be a fair trade."
He wasn't sure how much of his trembling was from his injuries and how much was from fear. What was he doing? He'd gone along with everything his body had wanted to do before, but this was serious. He was going to die!
But I can't let Luffy die. No matter what it takes.
Any objections the small, confused, terrified part of him raised were quickly smothered. He would save Luffy. It was already done. There was nothing else that mattered.
"Are you truly willing to give your life for that man, when you have such a great ambition?" asked the man.
"Right now, that's the only way to save my crewmates! My ambition means nothing if I can't protect my own captain." Zoro looked the huge man in the eyes, as fiercely as possible. "Luffy is the man who will become King of the Pirates!"
The big man stared at him, and for a moment it looked like he might say something. Then he flickered and dissolved into static as the world went fuzzy again.
Zoro's hand drew a sword and slammed the hilt to the side, and the world reformed as Sanji hissed a staticky curse and dropped, his hand sliding off Zoro's shoulder. Zoro reeled, the disorientation of the jump on top of everything else nearly enough to overcome him as well. But he had to stay upright. He had to stay awake. For Luffy.
He pulled his other two swords from his sash. "I'm begging you!" He tossed all three swords to the ground in front of the man.
For a long moment, the man just stared. Zoro shook. Sanji and Luffy lay on the ground like broken dolls.
The man sighed. "If I lay a hand on Straw Hat now, I will bring shame upon myself."
Zoro let out a breath. "I am in your debt."
The big man turned to Luffy, reached out a hand, and paused. "Trust me not to bring him harm. I am a man of my word." He plucked Luffy up, his hand easily large enough to wrap around Luffy's entire body. Luffy hung limply from his grasp, limbs dangling. "In exchange," the man said, straightening, "I will show you hell."
Zoro couldn't quite hold back a shiver.
The man lifted his free hand toward Luffy and pushed, and an enormous, red-tinted bubble of…something ballooned out of Luffy. It hovered there, at least three times Zoro's height, and something about it made the hair on the back of Zoro's neck stand on end.
"What I repelled from his body just now was pain…and fatigue," the man said as he laid Luffy back on the ground. "This is all of the damage that he accumulated in his battle with Moria. If you wish to take his place, you must take all of his pain and suffering into yourself. It will be impossible for you to survive when you are already on the brink of death. You will die."
But Luffy won't, Zoro thought, and tried to remember that as he stared at the bubble and trembled.
"Have a taste." The man dragged a hand through the bubble, flicking a tiny piece at Zoro.
Zoro watched it approach. He couldn't have moved even if he'd wanted to. Agonizingly slowly, and yet faster than he could blink, it sailed across and entered his chest.
Pain.
He hadn't known what that word meant before now. He'd already been injured, but now it was like his body was being forced to run through another whole fight in the span of a few seconds. He could feel the invisible blows striking him, feel his skin and muscle tear as he inched closer to death.
He didn't hear himself scream. He didn't feel himself fall.
He didn't stay down. He couldn't. That had only been the beginning. And Luffy was counting on him.
At first, all he managed to do was flip himself over, so that at least he didn't have to try to breathe through a face full of rock. He lay there, gasping, hurting, gathering the strength to rise.
"How was it?" the man asked calmly, as though he'd just let Zoro try his new cookie recipe.
Delicious, he would have said, if he'd had the strength left for sarcasm. But there was something much more important to say, and he wheezed, desperate for enough air to force the words out. He couldn't do this here. Couldn't let the others hear him scream, if they woke before it was done. Couldn't let the first thing Luffy saw be his body.
"Just let me…change the location."
The world went fuzzy again. Zoro would have welcomed it, if only the pain had gone with it. But there was too much to be wiped away so easily. If it dimmed at all, he couldn't tell.
When the static receded, he was standing, and he found himself grateful that he hadn't had to endure the process of getting up and moving wherever he was now. It couldn't be that far away, judging by the rubble, but he couldn't see Luffy or any of the others anymore.
He could see the bubble, though. It loomed in front of him, filling his vision, waiting for him to meet his fate. Zoro stared it down, gathering himself, allowing his body a few final breaths. Then he plunged forward.
His world went red.
Everything hurt.
His ears rang with screams, higher-pitched now but no less intense. His body ached with pain; real or imagined, he didn't know and it all hurt the same. Blood filled his mouth. If it came from a bitten tongue rather than his body tearing itself apart, he was unaware. It was dark, but his vision had dimmed anyway.
One flailing hand landed on a familiar hilt, and Zoro froze, his screams cutting off abruptly.
Why—
His swords shouldn't be here. He'd left them behind, with Luffy and the others. But there was no mistake; this was Wadō.
How…
The sword felt too big under his hand.
No it doesn't!
It did, and it didn't, and he hurt, and he'd never been so confused. He lurched forward, and his head slammed into something hard and solid. The table. The kotatsu he'd been sleeping next to. The distraction was enough to tear him loose from the clinging threads of his dream, but did nothing to calm the waves of pain and emotion rolling through him. Whimpering cries filled the air, and he clapped a hand over his mouth. Maybe it was already too late to stop someone from coming, but the Straw Hats—the outsiders—were the last people he wanted to see right now.
Which was fine to tell himself, but his body didn't want to listen to him, and muffled sobs trickled out regardless.
"I feel like hope is vanishing. As you can imagine, my body refuses to do as I tell it. Do you absolutely insist on taking Luffy's head?"
No. It wasn't real. It wasn't. Even if he could still feel the pain.
"All right. I'll give you a head. However, in place of his…I would appreciate it if you took my life instead!"
"No!" It had been a dream, nothing more. He'd heard part of the story yesterday and his mind had filled in the blanks, that was all.
Filled them in from where, though?
Zoro shivered, the kotatsu doing absolutely nothing to chase away the chill that suddenly gripped him. The thought rose in his mind, unwanted, unwelcome, but too persistent to ignore:
What if they're right about me? What if I saw those things because…because I'm…
No!
He shook his head and leapt up from the kotatsu. That couldn't be, it couldn't, it was some kind of trick—
He had to leave. Had to get out, now. If he stayed here, this would happen again, he could feel it in every inch of his aching bones. He had to get off this ship, away from these people, and maybe, maybe, if he didn't see them again, he wouldn't have any more dreams like this. Maybe he could forget the things he'd seen. Maybe he wouldn't have to hurt anymore.
You promised to stay.
"I don't care!" Zoro yelled, before slapping his hand back into place. Quiet, he had to stay quiet. He shoved away the part of him that twisted uncomfortably at the idea of breaking a promise, especially to Luffy. They're pirates, they'll understand. And if they don't…well, what does it matter what they think?
He looked down at Wadō. He reached for it, wrapping one hand around its sheath, and felt a little calmer. He wanted to take it with him. It was Kuina's sword, his sword, and he didn't want to let it out of his sight. He wanted to take it and run until he was in a place where things made sense again.
But…
He looked back toward the row of lockers. Even in the dim light, he could make out the shape of the one that still stood open. There were two other swords in there. Two other swords that he didn't know, but Wadō did. They were a team. Separating them felt wrong, and while carrying one sword was manageable, escaping with three would be too risky.
And besides, that man had had Wadō in the dream. Taking it would feel like accepting what he'd seen and he…he couldn't do that. Not here, alone in the dark, already dreading the next time he fell asleep. So there was only one thing to do. Slowly, reluctantly, he made his way to the locker and set Wadō next to its friends.
"I'm sorry," he said, before turning to go.
Zoro's hand was on the door when he stopped again. What if the outsiders were waiting out there? They hadn't come when he'd screamed, but that didn't mean they wouldn't catch him if he just strolled right out the front. Was there another way out?
There was. A ladder in the floor led down to another room. Zoro held his breath as he looked around, but there were no people here, only barrels and stacks of wood. He tip-toed forward, peering around every obstacle as he tried to figure out where to go from here.
The sky was beginning to lighten by the time Zoro stood shivering on the balcony at the back of the ship. Wind and sea spray cut through him, and he wrapped his arms around himself. The dock was too far away to jump to; he'd have to swim. He hoped it was still too dark for anyone to see him if they looked over the side of the ship. He hoped they wouldn't hear the splash when he hit the water.
Finding his way through the maze of the outsiders' ship would have qualified as a nightmare, if Zoro hadn't just woken from a hard lesson in what that word really meant. The worst part had been when he'd nearly stumbled into Usopp, asleep on a bench and surrounded by tools. He'd missed him by a hair and hadn't quite managed to swallow his yelp, but thankfully Usopp had just kept on snoring. Eventually, he'd found himself in a room full of fish, held behind a long, curving glass wall. He would have liked to watch them for a while, but the terror of his dream still lingered and his body thrummed with get away, hurry, hurry, so he pressed on. One of the doors from the fish room had led him out to the balcony, and now he was almost free.
All he needed to do was take a dip in the dark, freezing cold ocean.
Zoro took a deep breath, braced himself, and jumped before he could change his mind. A wave smacked the side of the boat, drowning out the sound of a small body hitting the water.
Minutes later, Zoro was out and squelching away from the docks. He broke into a run as soon as he was sure the outsiders wouldn't hear his footsteps echoing on the wooden boards.
Remind me not to write any more fics with canon flashbacks, haha. I have way more trouble with them than I really should. ^^; I hope this one came out okay, at least!
Also! I drew a scene from this chapter, which you can find on my tumblr if you'd like to see it. c:
See you next chapter (which should come a little faster than this one, but we shall see).
