And the site is working again so have another chapter! I did upload Chapter 7 a couple of days ago but it wasn't showing up, love that :)))))) But thank you so so so so much for all your amazing reviews, they really help to motivate me and it's lovely to see that you're all just as invested in this as much as I am. This chapter is going to incorporate 'Seven Times' so TW for domestic violence. Enjoy and let me know what you think :)

Those few weeks had passed since she had made her first attempt to go back to work but now, she was officially allowed. Nothing more had been said between herself and Matt since that day. She had stared at the finger marks on her arms for days, slowly watching the colours changing and yellowing over time before eventually disappearing as if they were never there. She seemed to be receiving messages from her colleagues so that was a relief in a sense. But things still weren't right.

She tried not to overthink it all, that was her weakness. Overthinking. But she couldn't get it off her mind, he had never been like that with her before. Sure he had been extra cautious since the accident but she just thought that he was trying to care for her. And it had been overbearing but she never thought it would come to this. He had been overly nice to her since that day, maybe it was just a one off. Maybe she had pushed his buttons a little too far. She had accused him of checking up on her and looking through her phone after all.

She had been doubting that it was him in the first place, instead thinking that it was just her phone playing up. And then she felt bad for accusing him. She shouldn't have been so quick to judge.

That hadn't been the only thing on her mind either. She had been wracking her brains over the last time her and Jack had been together. They had been so caught up in the moment, they had completely forgot about using protection. And with everything that had happened, Nikki had forgotten about taking the pill. And as she flicked through the dates in her diary, the symptoms she had been feeling for the past couple of days and the fact she was a couple of weeks late could only mean one thing.

"Shit," she spoke to herself, leaning back on her chair in the kitchen. Of course this was happening now, she had barely spoken to Jack over the last few weeks let alone even seen him. She wasn't even sure if this thing between them was still a thing. She knew for a fact that it wasn't Matt's, that would've been impossible. She ran her hands through her hair as she sighed, feeling her heart racing. This was all she needed.

She knew that this wasn't something she could be unsure about and after checking that she still had time before she had to be in work, she dashed out of her front door, picking her bag up on the way. She drove as fast as the traffic would let her and she eventually pulled up in a car park for a pharmacy. She couldn't help but feel judged as she looked through the various different tests. It felt as though everyone knew who she was and were watching every move she made.

She finally decided on one and paid for it at the counter. She checked the time on her phone, she still had the opportunity to go home to do it but her mind quickly changed as she seen Thomas' name pop up on her phone.

Placing the phone to her ear, she answered, "Thomas?"

She digested all the information he reeled off to her, taking a mental note of the location before hanging up. That test was going to have to wait until later. Putting the car into ignition, she made her way to the Lyell to grab her stuff. As she parked up, she could see that Jack was already getting into the works car, stopping as he spotted her turning up. He waited in the car before she was emerging from inside and making her way over to him.

"You alright?" Jack asked as she pulled the seatbelt over herself.

Nikki couldn't bring herself to look at him, not when she was now fully aware of the situation she - or rather they - were currently in. How would she even tell him? And how was she going to tell Matt? He's not a stupid man, he would know that it wasn't his. And he would know that if she was pregnant before the crash then they would've picked up on it at the hospital. And even then the crash probably would've meant she'd have lost it. No this was definitely Jack's.

"Getting there," she breathed. Keeping her eyes focused on the road. She couldn't look at him, because if she looked at him, she would crumble and she would tell him everything straight away. And she couldn't do that, she needed to be sure. She needed to know for definite.

"Well if you need a break or anything then just let me know," Jack smiled. "I'll cover for you." Offering her a small wink.

He glanced over at her, seeing her nod. Something wasn't right. He didn't know where he stood with her anymore, they hadn't been able to speak properly. Ever since the first time she tried to come back they'd barely spoken after that, if Matt was suspicious of them, he couldn't give him anymore reason to be. He only messaged her on occasion but kept it to the minimum. But that lack of communication meant that they were now in this grey area of this sort of relationship and he didn't know what to do. What to say.

"Thanks Jack," she let out. She tried to push the thoughts to the back of her mind, now that she had got the awkwardness out of the way. And knowing her and Jack it wouldn't take long for them to get back to normality. And they would no doubt start bickering within a matter of minutes.

She still found it hard to look in his direction however, she didn't know for sure that she was pregnant but if she was, the idea that she would be carrying Jack's baby scared her half to death. Because it meant that she would actually have to bite the bullet and end things with Matt but with the way he had been acting over the past couple of weeks, she really wasn't sure of how he was going to take this news.

But at least she felt a little bit more relaxed around Jack now, enough that she would be able to make it through the day without a hitch. Or at least until she thought it would be a good time to take that test. She shook her head, ridding herself of all the thoughts of babies and pregnancy and Jack, instead turning her focus to the case that had been brought to them.

A woman found on the train tracks, most likely to have been a suicide. Luckily the rail lines had surged so no oncoming train could pass over her and now they would be able to salvage some kind of identity. She took a deep breath as Jack parked up on the road, train deaths were always hard. Always the most gruesome and she didn't really trust her stomach at the minute. She'd always been able to keep everything down, being so used to seeing crime scenes of all states, but it really wouldn't look good on her if she turned up to this one and had to leave to empty her stomach. And Jack would certainly be asking questions then.

They both got out of the car and slipped on their respective forensic suits before pulling the cases out of the back. Nikki did her best to keep her pathologist brain on and focus on the task that was about to be on hand.

"Shall I get the boot?" Jack asked, although Nikki could barely hear him as she passed under the tape, thanking the police officer. Jack offering his own thanks as he ducked under, giving Nikki a quick smile. "Do you want to know what I hate the most?" He started, breaking the silence between them.

"Oh come on Jack, you know these are impossible questions," Nikki tried not to roll her eyes, they were definitely back to normal and the ice between them had certainly melted. She knew that it wouldn't take long before they were back to their usual selves, they never could stay upset with each other.

"It's the smell," Jack quickly shot back. "That acrid smell, just hangs in the air. Gets in your clothes, in your skin."

"I thought you were going to say war or famine or you know, discrimination. Stuff you can't wash away," Nikki put forward, a small smirk on her face as she wondered what the hell went on in Jack's head for him to come up with these sorts of things.

"Well maybe most was a step too far," Jack replied, deflated by Nikki's comments. He could always rely on her to bring him back down to Earth with a reality check. He nodded towards the police officer before the two of them squeezed between a small gap in the fence that led towards the train tracks.

Nikki was the first to go, looking over as the woman lay face down on the tracks. She began taking in every little moment of the scene, anything that jumped out to her, anything that was odd. She could hear Jack letting out a breath behind her. She stopped at the top of the embankment, Jack quickly joining her. He placed his case down on the floor and reached into his pocket. She watched as he pulled out a box of mints, offering one to her, "Here," he whispered.

"Thanks," she held her hand out as he popped a mint into it. She placed the mint in her mouth before quickly putting her mask over her face. As she was adjusting it she could see Jack gesturing with his finger.

"A lot of traffic through here," he pointed out.

She gave him one last look before stepping forward and making her way over to the body. Jack picked up the bottle of gin that lay next to her, inspecting it closely whilst Nikki took a photo from over his shoulder.

"No handbag or mobile phone," he spoke as he placed the bottle into an evidence bag.

"No," Nikki answered, her focus returning to the body. But she was suddenly interrupted by a noise coming from the right. A man in a wheelchair whilst a woman was pushing him were making their over to them, she hoped that he had something to do with this case otherwise she was going to start worrying about the scene being contaminated. She took the evidence bag from Jack as he went to go deal with the issue.

She couldn't help but smile to herself as he took control of the situation, his accent stronger to show his assertiveness as per usual. She loved that he did that and she'd always guessed that it was something he did without realising, she would have to ask him about that one day. Nikki watched the interaction from afar but upon hearing the words "I'm in charge" from the man in the wheelchair, she relaxed and got back to work.

Although her ears had pricked up when she heard, "Yes I know, she's gorgeous," she fought against the temptation to look in their direction, to check if Jack was eyeing up the woman or not. She knew it wasn't her place to get jealous, they weren't together after all but she couldn't help it sometimes. Even when this thing between them hadn't happened, she had found herself glaring at the various women he had been chatting up. Well, it wasn't until Clarissa had pointed it out did she realise she was doing it. She thought she had been subtle but obviously not.

"Detective Inspector Sid Clarke," the man spoke as Nikki sealed the bag up, almost forgetting that it was in her hands.

"Nikki Alexander, hi," she answered.

"Hello," his eyes wandered down to the body before looking back up at Jack and Nikki. "Does anyone know who the dead woman is?"

Nikki shook her head as she bent down whilst herself and a fellow forensic scientist turned the body over. The smell of the alcohol mixed with burnt skin hit her in the face and she had to take a few moments. The familiar wave of nausea washing over her. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths, hoping that feeling would pass. She could feel Jack's eyes watching her and he was soon bending down next to her, noticing that she wasn't acting like her usual self.

"Nikki?" A questioning tone to his voice.

"I'm fine, I just need a minute," she barely got out.

She jumped as she felt his hand coming to rest on her lower back, "You sure?" He could see, despite the mask, that she had suddenly become quite pale which wasn't like her at all. She usually had the strongest stomach out of them all. Perhaps being away from it for a while had changed her and she just needed to get back into the swing of it all again.

Nikki nodded, instead focusing on trying to settle her stomach. She eventually felt herself calming and she was able to carry on with her initial examination of the body.

She came out of the post mortem a few hours later, feeling shaken. She couldn't even begin to describe the thoughts that were now running through her head. The images of her own mother flashing in her mind. It had been very obvious that whoever this woman was, she had been abused by her partner. So maybe that was why she had taken her own life but if Nikki was being honest, it wouldn't have been that much of a stretch to think that this was the abusers doing.

For the most part, the scene had looked like a suicide, the typical hallmarks appearing. But as Nikki had looked closer there were certain things that didn't add up that would hopefully be clarified once they get all the test results back.

It scared her that alongside the thoughts of her mother, Matt had also cropped up. That painful stinging on her arm making a phantom appearance. She ran her hand over that area of her skin. He hadn't touched her since so maybe it was just a one time thing and she could hardly compare her situation to that of this woman's or her own mother. Matt was just angry in the moment, offended by what she had suggested. And she could hardly blame him, god knows she could fly off the handle sometimes.

The thoughts of her mother had reminded her of the little box that had been sat in her bag all morning. She knew she should've waited till she got home but the idea of not knowing for sure was killing her. She needed to find out now. She glanced around the room, thankfully no one was there so she could discreetly slip away, taking her bag with her.

As she approached the bathrooms, she locked herself in the cubicle. Pulling out the little box, she inspected the small writing on the back. Although she had no need to, she had been in this situation before. When her and Matt were at a much happier place and seemed to have no troubles or worries. She hadn't been pregnant then and she had wanted to be. Now, in this situation, she wasn't so sure.

She had wanted to start a family, that first scare putting all the different thoughts and scenarios in her head. But then Matt had been against the idea in the end and the thoughts had been very quickly squashed down. Jack, on the other hand, she knew he wanted to have kids. Her mind returning to that time in Brighton when they had had that conversation. When she thought she was pregnant the last time.

He had told her then that he wanted to be a father but he just needed to find the right person, someone who would put up with him. Was that even her? She had been there for him in every way possible over the last eight years, as he she. And in many ways she was the one to put up with him. But was he ready for all of this to happen so suddenly? They weren't even together and she was still in a complicated situation with Matt, hardly the time to add a baby into the mix.

She did her best to shake the thoughts away but they were back at the forefront of her mind as the waiting for the results from the white stick soon started. She thought about all the ways she was going to break it to Matt, if it came back positive. And she thought about how she were to tell Jack. She thought about both of their reactions, Matt would be angry but if she was pregnant and this baby was Jack's then there was no way she was going to keep this from him. She didn't know how Jack would initially react to the news but she knew that once he realised that he was going to be a father then he would do anything and everything for it.

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at the image. Jack would make a great father. She wasn't so sure about herself but she knew that if she had Jack by her side then she may be able to get through it.

Her body jumped as the timer on her phone rang off. Then the panic set in. The result sitting in her hand. She wasn't sure she wanted to look at it, either outcome scaring her. Her heart beat out of her chest as she flipped the white stick around, the two lines as plain as day. She was pregnant.

Her throat felt tight and she didn't know whether she was going to have a panic attack or she was going to throw up. Probably both. What was she going to do now? She ran her hands through her hair, her elbow resting on the side of the cubicle to support her head. She couldn't peel her eyes away from the tiny screen as if the result was going to change.

She couldn't help but wonder what her mother would be saying to her right now. Whether she would be proud that she was finally getting something that deep down she had always wanted, or she would be ashamed of the situation she had just got herself in. It was times like this she longed for her mother to still be around, to give her the advice that she so desperately needed. To give her the hug that would wash everything away and make her forget about it all.

The tears slipped down her cheeks, flashes of her mother on her mind again. The moments when she was actually happy and not afraid of when her father was going to lay a hand on her again. She was a beautiful woman inside and out and she didn't deserve the shit that life put her through. She just wanted her mother.

Her hand covered her mouth to drown out the sobs, she could really do without someone walking in and asking if she was alright. She stayed there for a few minutes, trying to calm herself down. No doubt everyone else was questioning where she had gone. She was half expecting her phone to start ringing but it remained silent. She was thankful, in a way, she needed this time to herself.

Eventually wiping away at her eyes, she stood up. Her legs felt numb, as though they were about to give way and she had to put her hand on the wall to steady herself. But taking a deep breath she put her stuff back into her bag and opened the cubicle door. Stepping out, she took a look at herself in the mirror. Her eyes now blackened from her makeup washing away amongst her tears.

She used the back of her hand to do her best to get rid of the marks and make herself look somewhat presentable. Or at least make it look as though she hadn't been in the bathroom crying her eyes out. Once she felt as though she was ready to face the outside world again, she made her way out.

As she rounded the corner into the office she was only met by Clarissa who didn't take much notice of her as she sat back down in her chair. She logged into her computer again and started to pull up all the pictures she had taken at the crime scene and during the post mortem. As she flicked through them she started to compile all her notes ready for the report.

The pictures didn't help to stop her mind racing however, the burns on the woman's arm, along with the marks on her neck just kept the flashbacks of her mother reappearing. Her vision was blurring once again and she tried to flick the tears away with her finger as they dropped. The sniffle seemed to have grabbed Clarissa's attention as she heard the whirring of the wheelchair followed by her soft voice asking if she was okay.

"I'm fine," Nikki glanced up at Clarissa who was not convinced given the redness of her eyes.

"You're clearly not," Clarissa pointed out. "You can talk to me you know. Anything that's troubling you, or you need to get off your chest, I'm always here," she paused, trying to gauge Nikki's reaction. But as the woman remained silent and was clearly refusing to look in her direction, she continued. "Is it to do with the case?"

"What do you mean?" Nikki snapped her head up at that.

"It's just that Jack mentioned that you didn't seem yourself at the scene," Clarissa explained. "And then Thomas said that you zoned out during the post mortem."

Nikki could feel her walls being knocked down and she couldn't hold it up any longer. She looked over at Clarissa, suddenly grateful for the fact she did actually have someone that wasn't Matt or Jack that she could talk to.

"This case is just bringing up a lot of bad memories that's all," Nikki sighed. She still found it hard to open up to people, so used to going about her life bottling it all up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Clarissa breathed, she wasn't sure how best to approach this situation. She had always tried to be there for Nikki over the past couple of years but Nikki had always brushed it off. But recently something had seemed to have changed, she was seeing another side to the woman.

Nikki just shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know how that woman came to be on those tracks but I do know that she was being abused," she started. "And seeing all the bruises and cigarette burns just reminded me of what I failed to put together when I was younger. What I didn't realise was going on right under my nose. But now it all just seems so clear."

Clarissa could see that she was still keeping her cards close to her chest and not giving everything away but she didn't need to go into detail for her to know what she was getting at. And this was clearly a difficult subject to discuss so she wouldn't expect her to dig it all up, "How old were you?" She asked tentatively.

Nikki shook her head, "Four or five," she let out, the lump in her throat forming again. "I just remember seeing this burn on her neck and I'd watch her try to cover it up. I'd wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of her screaming and then she'd sob for hours. I never questioned it then, thought it was all normal. Just part of growing up. It wasn't until I seen those marks again did it wake up this memory inside of me."

She took a deep breath trying to gather herself, "She tried to leave once. I walked into her room to find her packing all my stuff up, she stopped once she heard my father walk through the front door. If I had told someone what was going on, maybe they could've helped her get out."

"You were five years old Nikki, you can't blame yourself," Clarissa interrupted.

"But it went on for years," she carried on. "She just got better at hiding it and pretending it wasn't happening. Then when she died, I blocked that part of my life off. Like it never even happened, because I couldn't face the fact that I hadn't helped her, hadn't saved her."

She didn't know where all of this was coming from, even her therapist hadn't been able to get this out of her. Whenever her mother had come up in conversation she had done well to shut it down, not ready to open up about that part of her life. Yet here she was talking to one of her closest friends about it like she had never tried to forget it in the first place.

"By the sounds of it she was just trying to protect you, keep you away from it all," Clarissa spoke softly. "Is that how you ended up in the UK?"

"My dad wanted to come home and couldn't leave me behind," she sighed, leaning back in her chair. "He thought it would be the best thing for me. A fresh start. But all I wanted was my mother and then I was a million miles away from her. And now, I've never felt closer to her. I can almost feel her looking down at me. This case and…" she trailed off, her hand coming to rest on her lower stomach without even realising. But as she watched Clarissa's eyes follow the movement of her hand, she was quick to drop it again.

Clarissa almost gasped, "Nikki?" She pushed, she wasn't sure if it would be rude of her to ask but she had a feeling that Nikki was just going to brush it off and then she'd go back to bottling everything up again. "Are you pregnant?"

Nikki could feel the air escaping her, this wasn't how she wanted the conversation to go. She didn't even want the conversation to start. She didn't want to talk about her mother because she knew she would talking about the thing that was now growing inside of her. She was going to become a mother herself in nine months time so of course the moment she'd start talking about hers it was going to lead in a certain direction.

She couldn't look at Clarissa, the tears dropping once again as she gave the woman in front of her a small nod, confirming her suspicions. Although they were hardly suspicions when Nikki had made it so obvious.

"Is it Jack's?" Clarissa asked, her mouth opening before she even had time to think about it.

Nikki didn't know what was wrong with her. She knew for a fact it was Jack's, she had no doubt about that. Herself and Matt had not been with each other properly since long before the accident so it would be some kind of miracle if it was his. But she couldn't bring herself to say yes, to admit that she was carrying someone else's child and not that of her fiancé's. She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know," she lied.

"Shit," Clarissa remarked, although she wasn't totally convinced that Nikki didn't know. She had learnt how Nikki worked over the eight years they had known each other and she knew how sharp this woman was. She never missed a detail and she was always on the ball. She knew that Nikki would've already looked at all the dates and worked it out, she knew whose it was. But Clarissa had to respect that she didn't want to tell her, it was her business after all. And although Jack was her friend she had to leave it to the two of them to sort it out between themselves. She had already put her two pence in before and that hadn't seemed to work so she was going to sit out of this one.

But she still wanted to warn Nikki, "I'm sure I can trust you to do the right thing," she began. "When you find out who the father is because you're Nikki and I know you will. Do the right thing. Because Jack will never forgive you if you had his child and never told him about it."

Nikki could feel the adrenaline surging around her body and her heart was racing. There was a sharp tone to Clarissa's voice, as if she knew that Nikki was lying to her. She had put it in a neutral way but she knew she was warning her.

Not much else was said between her and Clarissa after the talk. There was not much else that was needed to be said. Clarissa was right, she was going to have to tell Jack. She just needed to tell Matt that it was over between them first. That she was having an affair and she was now carrying someone else's child.

She had been psyching herself up for this moment all day. Thankfully she hadn't seen much of Jack as he was at the crime scene for most of the day and the rest was spent in the lab picking through all the various pieces of evidence. And she had spent much of her day writing up her report ready for the Coroner. Of course she couldn't do too much because she was still waiting for different test results to come back.

But it had passed quickly and she was now pulling up at her house. She parked next to Matt's car and from the light that was shining in her living room she could see that he was home as well. Her heart was pounding out of her chest at this point and she almost didn't want to go in. She was frightened at what he was going to say, what he was going to do. Her mind racing back to the last time she had made him angry.

She shook her head, this was something she had to do and she needed to face up to it sooner or later. And if push came to shove and she needed to get out of the house she knew she had one place she could go to feel safe and hide away from most things.

She eventually turned her engine off and clicked her door open. She grabbed her bag from the passenger seat before standing up and making her way over to her house, pressing down on the lock button as she went. Pushing the door handle down, she was hit by a waft of food. The smell making her stomach rumble and she realised that the stress of the day had meant she hadn't eaten much at all. That was going to have to change since she was going to be eating for two from now on.

"Nik is that you?" She heard Matt call out from the kitchen.

He was in a good mood, she could tell already. That was going to make what she was about to do even harder. At least if he was in a horrible mood, it would hurt less but this was going to break her heart. She dropped her bag onto the small table in the hallway and hung her jacket on the coat rack before heading into the kitchen.

Matt was stood in front of the cooker, stirring something in the frying pan. It looked and smelled delicious and it looked as though he had gone to a lot of effort given the candles that had been lit on the table and the soft music playing in the background. Her heart sank, she couldn't do this.

He walked over to her, his arm snaking around her waist as he pecked her on the lips, "How was work babe?" He asked before he removed his hand and returned back to the hob.

"It was okay," she swallowed. She edged around the breakfast counter, coming to sit on one of the stools. She started to pick at the skin around her fingernails as she thought about she was going to approach this but as she opened her mouth to speak she was quickly interrupted by Matt as he turned around to face her.

"I've been thinking," he started. "I know it may look as though I'm constantly changing my mind about this topic but I can't get it off my mind. What if we were to start trying for a baby?"

Nikki's eyes widened and in that precise moment, she wanted the ground to swallow her up, "What?" She barely let out, shock taking over her body.

"I want us to have kids Nikki."