Chapter 8

Late in the afternoon, Rick sat at the desk in his office with the Heat Rises document open on his computer. He was supposed to be working on the last chapter of the book so he could submit it to Gina, but in reality his thoughts were drawn towards Kate. Though their relationship remained strained, he still cared deeply for her and seeing her in discomfort to the point of tears made his heart ache.

For most of his life Castle felt compelled to make those he cared for as happy as possible and wanted to do anything he could to aid in that happiness, but he feared there wasn't much he could do for Kate, particularly since the one thing she continually requested was for space and that was the one thing he could not provide—not really. The only way for her to get space was for her to stay up in her room by herself, or for them to allow her the deck space while everyone else remained inside. As the latter was more difficult, their situation inadvertently made Kate seem like a prisoner and that was the last thing he wanted, but their circumstances were…tricky to say the least.

Castle began to muse other possible options, including cleaning up the house's fifth bedroom so that they could at least move the bed she slept in into that room. True, it would simply be displacing her from one prison-like room to another, but at least in that room she would actually be alone and not sharing with her father for part of the time. He imagined that the cohabitation had to be weighing on her in some way, seeing as if their situations were reversed and he was forced to share a room with his mother for more than a few nights he would not have been very happy.

Before he could think too much further on the subject, he was interrupted by a knock at his office door. Looking up, he saw Jim hovering and smiled immediately. "Jim, how are you doing this afternoon?"

"Not too bad. I was out walking and then I came back to check on Katie. She told me what happened in the shower, so I wanted to thank you for helping her."

"Oh." Castle hesitated for a moment. Considering that the shower incident had led to him seeing Kate topless for the first time (an incident he was trying not to dwell on too much as it seemed inappropriate given that she could have been seriously injured in her fall) did it make it weird that her father was thanking him for it? He tried not to think too much about that, either, and just said, "Well, I'm just glad I heard her fall and was able to help. She could have been hurt worse if she had to figure out how to get out of the tub herself."

Jim sighed heavily and gestured towards one of the spare chairs in his office asking, "Mind if I…"

"Not at all. Please sit."

The elder man did so and then rested his elbow against the chair arm as his fingers skimmed across his jaw. "To be honest with you, Rick: I'm worried about Katie."

Castle let out a slow breath. "To be honest, Jim: so am I. I was actually just thinking about what I could do for her. I was wondering if maybe I should try and clear out some of the things in the fifth bedroom so she could move into there and have a room to herself."

"Or I could move so she doesn't have to."

Castle nodded. "Sure; either way she would have her own space. That might help."

Jim pressed his lips together tightly. "I'm sure you know by now that my daughter is fiercely independent and can be quite stubborn."

Castle fought the urge to laugh as "quite stubborn" didn't seem a strong enough descriptor for Kate's behavior at times. It was more like "stubborn to the point of her own detriment."

"She hates not being able to take care of herself and I can't blame her there. I would be frustrated as well if I had to rely on others to help me dress and bathe, but I think more than that she's struggling that she can't mentally distract herself from the pain both physical and emotional. She can't go back to work, she can't do much of anything, so she's stuck with her thoughts."

The writer nodded as this made perfect sense. "Yeah, and they're tough ones too: thinking about what Roy Montgomery did all those years she worked for him."

Jim's brow wrinkled. "What do you mean?"

Castle's heart froze in his chest and he began to panic. "Ka-Kate didn't tell you?"

"We were supposed to talk after the funeral, but obviously that didn't happen. What did Roy do? Did he hurt her?"

"No, no—not physically. He…" Castle huffed and looked towards the celling. There was a very high possibility Kate would be furious with him for being the one to tell her father the truth, but what was he supposed to do? Tell the man he couldn't say anything else after confusing him and making him worry. "In the course of looking into your wife's murder, we discovered that there was an NYPD cover up for hers and the other related murders. It was a trio of officers: Raglan, McCallister, and a third man we could never identify."

"Montgomery," Jim spoke with notable horror.

"Yes. We didn't find out until just before he was killed. He'd been…he'd been altering files and, though we didn't realize it at the time, throwing us off the scent. That's why he kept discouraging Kate and I from investigating the case—because he was afraid we'd get too close and figure it out, but we did a lot of work off-hours so Roy wasn't fully aware. Anyway, in the end Roy told us that he'd fallen under the influence of McCallister and Raglan during his rookie days and got wrapped up in some of their nefarious stunts. In the end, though Roy wasn't directly involved in Johanna's murder, he did help fund the man who eventually hired the hit on her, so he felt responsible."

"And…who is that man?" Jim asked cautiously.

"We don't know. Roy wouldn't tell us because he knew if Kate knew she'd get herself killed trying to take him down."

Skimming his hands over his mouth, Jim concluded, "Wow that…that is a lot to process."

"Yes, and of course on top of all that we agreed to keep secret everything we learned to preserve Roy's good record for his family. The only people that know the truth are Kate, me, and Detectives Ryan and Esposito. And now you."

"I know that Katie looked up to Roy so much. She always said how lucky she was to have him as a captain; how influential he had been. This must be tearing her apart."

"Which is why she keeps asking for space to process it."

Jim's brow rose slightly. "Oh. Well. On that note—there was another thing I wanted to talk with you about: whether or not Katie and I should return to the city."

Castle's brow wrinkled. "Why ever would you do that?"

"Well…" Jim gazed down at his lap, fidgeting with his hands. "When we first made these arrangements you and I didn't discuss how long we might be staying out here. That was perhaps an oversight on my part, though my focus at that time was just making sure Katie got out of the hospital before the virus began spreading there. Now that we know these stay-in-place orders will last at least another month, possibly longer, I wasn't sure if-"

"Jim," Castle raised his hand up to stop the man's speech which, in his opinion, was completely unnecessary. "Let me stop you right there: it's really not an issue for me. Both of you are welcome here as long as you would like to stay. In fact, I'd prefer it. The virus seems to be spreading like wildfire in Manhattan right now and from what I understand their food shortages are even more challenging than the ones we have here."

"Well, I truly appreciate you saying that Rick. I do feel much safer staying out here. And I do think this will be much better for Katie's recovery. Once she's able to walk there's plenty of safe space here, versus in the city she'd be confined to the apartment."

"I agree," Castle said with a smile.

"So…we'll stay for at least the next month and then reassess?"

Castle shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned you can stay for the rest of the summer. That's probably what we'll be doing."

Jim smiled softly. "Well, I don't know about that, but I appreciate the offer. Now that that's settled, though: would you mind if I have mine and Katie's mail forwarded here? I don't want us to miss something important."

"Of course not."

"Thank you, Rick." Jim hesitated for a moment before continuing with, "Actually, I don't think I could ever thank you enough for all that you've done."

"It's really not a problem," Castle promised. Then, as Jim left his office, he found himself suddenly reminded of the moment during Montgomery's funeral just a few seconds before Kate was shot. She was giving her eulogy for the captain and speaking about something he told her about finding a place to make a stand. She had said, "…and if you're very lucky, you'll find someone willing to stand beside you," and then looked directly at him. He'd forgotten that hearing her words caused a surge of hope inside his chest—that the words were her way of saying she had chosen him, assuming he was willing, to be her partner and stand beside her for whatever life threw their way. The thought had become lost the moment he'd seen the flash of sunlight off the rifle's scope but thinking about it now he chose to bring back that hope. Yes, Kate was struggling now, but he would stand beside her and support her in whatever way he could.

Sitting at the table in the dining area, Kate finished eating a sandwich made with Alexis's delicious homemade bread and popped the last of her carrot sticks in her mouth. As she chewed, her cell phone began to ring. She didn't recognize the number, though it had a Manhattan area code, so she let it go to voicemail.

With her meal finished, Kate carried her plate into the kitchen, put the plate in the dishwasher, and then made sure the foil was once again tightly wrapped around the remaining bread. As she finished this, she heard a squeal of laugher from Alexis and peered out the window towards the pool area. From that angel she could just barely see the family horsing around and smiled softly at the joy she saw etched on Castle's face.

For the prior few days Kate had kept mostly to herself. After her breakdown in the shower and a subsequent conversation with her father about what she needed, he agreed to give her as much space as possible given their living arrangements. He told her about Rick's offer to rearrange the fifth bedroom in the house so she could use it, but after she learned just how much would need to be moved around, she insisted that was unnecessary. Instead, her father just vacated the bedroom for most of the day so she could read, listen to music, or rest as she needed to. She also started eating meals at different times than the rest of them so she could have even more quiet time to process the jumble of thoughts going through her mind. It had been hard at first, since she worried what the Castles might think of her antisocial-like behavior, but she had to keep reminding herself that she just needed a little bit of time in isolation and then she would feel better about joining them.

Walking back to the table where she left her phone, Kate discovered that the unknown number that called her left a voice mail, so she listened to it. The message was from a woman saying she was the assistant of a Dr. Burke who was an NYPD approved therapist who would need to do the psych eval required for her to return to work after her shooting. Kate had expected his call as it was NYPD protocol for all on-the-job shootings. The voicemail told her that she could contact them any time to schedule her evaluation, but it would be done over the phone due to the pandemic situation.

Kate placed her phone down on the table and bit down on her bottom lip, considering. Thanks to general bureaucracy plus delay due to the stay-at-home orders, Kate had received the official notification about her medical leave from the NYPD only a few days earlier. She had been granted eight weeks, with the potential to extend up to twelve depending on the assessments made by her doctors and the therapist. Just about three weeks had passed since her shooting and while she could absolutely say she was feeling better, she did not feel anywhere near ready to return to work.

The idea of not wanting to go back was strange to Kate. She'd had several on-the-job injuries in the past, though all had been minor, and each time she'd been frustrated to be put on leave that lasted more than few hours let alone days. Now, since her shooting had involved one of the body's most critical organs, she was forced to take the appropriate amount of time. As much as it frustrated her from time to time, her body simply wasn't ready. She still needed to take at least one, usually two, naps during the day, and the act of walking down the stairs and out onto the patio was enough to tire her out. Every day did seem to get a little better, but she had finally accepted the fact that she needed to let her body heal at its own pace, lest she rush herself too much and become reinjured, like what had almost happened the first time she tried to shower.

"Katie? How are you feeling? Did you get lunch?"

Kate looked up as her father walked through the patio door that led into the kitchen. She smiled and nodded. "Yeah Dad, I'm fine."

"Well, if you're interested in joining us for a bit, Rick and Alexis are playing a very entertaining pool game. I don't know what it is, but it's hilarious."

"Ah," Kate hesitated for a moment, not sure if she wanted more solitude or some Castle-family entertainment. Since it had been several days since she had even seen Alexis, she decided on the latter. "Okay, just for a few minutes."

She grabbed her sandals and walked out onto the deck and then opened the gate into the pool area. Martha was seated in a chair beneath an umbrella while Rick and Alexis were in the water, laughing and splashing each other. There was a chair on the opposite side of the pool with a folded-up newspaper she suspected belonged to her father, so Kate chose the chair next to Martha, which was still partially in the shade.

"Would you like to sit here, darling?" Martha offered, but Kate waved her hand dismissively.

"No, it's okay; I'm only going to be out here a few minutes."

"Kate! Come put your feet in the water—it's nice!"

Smiling politely, Kate said, "Oh no I'm fine."

"Are you sure Katie?" her father asked when he returned to the pool area. "We can move a chair closer to help you get down."

Kate looked at the pool, which was rectangular shaped. The stairs to get in were located in the corner closest to the house and they had a railing down the center. She felt confident she could get down and up by herself and perhaps it might be nice to put her feet in the water since she could not remember the last time she was in a pool.

"Ah, okay, but I can do it."

She walked over to the pool stairs and while standing with her right hand on the railing, stepped down on the first step. The water felt rather chilly on her toes, but she figured she'd acclimate. Slowly, she lowered herself down until her rear landed on the stone edge of the pool, which in contrast felt very warm. Her father sat down beside her and said softly, "You know I was thinking—we should get the information about the physical therapy you'll be doing sooner than later and this pool would probably be helpful."

Kate twisted her lips to the side thinking about how much arm strength and movement was used with any of the swimming strokes. "I don't think I can swim, Dad."

"No, no. Not swimming—walking."

She arched her eyebrow. "Walking? In the pool?"

He nodded. "Yes, I remember a colleague of mine that that when he injured his knee. It helped with rehab because the water displaces so much of your weight so it's less stress."

Kate nodded, she hadn't thought of that, but it was possibly something she could do. "Yeah, maybe—we can keep that in mind when we talk to the therapist."

A high-pitched squeal from Alexis called Kate's attention and she looked over to watch the girl popping up out of the water and pressing both hands down on her father's shoulders in an attempt to submerge him. Castle merely laughed, grabbed her waist, and gave her a toss back into the water. Kate watched the muscles in his arms flex as he did this and, for the first time since her shooting, felt a tingle of desire in her low-belly. Clearing her throat to push that notion from her mind, Kate called out to them, "What game are you guys playing?"

Castle looked at her with a grin. "One we made up. We can teach it to you once you're feeling better."

"Ah, that's okay. Seems like you get really wet."

Still grinning, he said, "Duh, Beckett. That's the whole point of the poo-aaah!" he yelped when Alexis catapulted herself from the water and finally succeeded in dunking him by landing most of her body onto his shoulders. He popped up to the surface a moment later and used his hands to send a wave of water in Alexis's direction; she cackled and swam away.

Kate watched their little game for the better part of ten minutes but still could not figure out any of the rules—assuming there were any. Regardless, both father and daughter seemed to be having a blast. As they laughed, played, and simply enjoyed themselves, Kate felt a pang of jealousy course through her stomach. How long had it been since she'd been that fun and carefree? How many years had passed since she would have been willing to just let go and get a little wet for the sake of having fun? She genuinely couldn't remember.

Her thoughts drifted back to the voice message she'd just heard and the word therapy flashed through her mind. Truth be told, even before she received the voicemail about her psych eval she had been kicking around the idea of talking to someone. As she had always been the type to keep her thoughts and emotions to herself, speaking about them with anyone let alone a stranger had never entered her mind, but look where that had gotten her. She was unhappy with where she was in her life and struggling—really and truly struggling—to process everything she'd been through. She simply didn't have the tools or knowhow to process through everything and wondered if a professional might.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that trying therapy might not have been the worst idea, especially if it got her to a place where she could feel freer and less weighted down by all her troubles. More to the point: maybe then she could finally be happy.

A/N: I decided I'm going to update 3x per week now. I hope nobody minds :D

thank you for reading & for the reviews!