This one is a little dark at the end, but believe me, there are better days to come. Promised!

Chapter 8

Danny had been watching his sleeping partner for nearly two hours when Lou silently entered the cubicle.

"Hey. How's he doing?"

"Sleeping like a baby. He didn't even twitch the last times the nurse changed his IV's and took care of all the other stuff nobody wants to deal with. I guess, he's not only out because of the heavy drugs he is under but also because of the exhausting talk to the shrink." Danny looked at Lou and stood up. "Come on, let's go for a walk and tell me what you found. According to Dr Mason, Steve won't wake up before tomorrow morning."

Lou cast a worried glance at Steve, nodded and turned to leave the ICU cubicle along Danny's side.

Outside TAMC

The two law enforcement officers sat down on a bench in front of the hospital's main entrance and Lou started to report what he had found at Hatfield's hotel room. The whole room had been stuffed with pictures of Steve as if he had been surveilling their commander for several days. Steve leaving his house, Steve swimming in the ocean, Steve leaving for a run, Steve getting in and out of his truck, entering HQ, … any thinkable situation of his daily life had been covered. It stung Danny's heart to know that these pictures would be the last that showed Steve engaging in any physical activity. He tried to push that thought aside and continued to focus on Lou's report.

"It seems that Hatfield not only observed Steve but also downloaded and printed any press release of the last 7 years that mentioned Steve or Five-0 in any way. And I still have no idea, who this man is. Did you already hear from Tani or Junior and Adam?"

"Not yet, but maybe we should call her." Danny took his phone out of his pocket as it started to ring. "Speak of the devil… It's Tani."

"Danny, I found a connection between Hatfield and Five-0. Seems that you guys arrested his sister seven years ago. Could you come to HQ and look at what I've found or do you want to stay with Steve? I could talk to Lou then, seems that SWAT has been involved at that time, too. It was before Lou joined Five-0."

"Tani, I'm sitting here with Lou, Steve's deeply asleep. We'll meet you at HQ in 30 minutes." Danny ended the call and told Lou what Tani had found out.

HQ, Iolani Palace

"Dawn Hatfield! I knew, that name sounded familiar. She was the crazy surfer girl planning terroristic attacks on Oahu. Yeah, I remember her now. She was completely blinded by the idea to turn the world into an islamistic regime." Lou remembered clearly the young student with the promising future that had turned a junior terrorist.

"Why now? We didn't even know she has a brother and now he's reaching out to kill Steve? I don't understand." Danny was shocked. How could an arrest seven years prior to now have such an impact on Steve's life? What had happened to convince her brother that doing any harm to Steve could revenge the arrest of Dawn Hatfield?

"Dawn Hatfield committed suicide in jail 8 weeks ago. Seems that her brother holds Steve responsible." Tani opened Dawn Hatfield's file. Apparently the girl had killed herself after being in solitary confinement since her arrest.

"Ok, that family seems to be quite drastic in their decision making, but how could Steve have been injured during an explosion caused by a gas leak, when Hatfield obviously planned to shoot him? And how did he manage to get Steve to the construction site?" Danny wished Steve would remember what the caller told him before he drove to the construction site. Alone. Without backup.

While the three of them were looking silently at Dawn Hatfield's picture, Adam and Junior entered the bullpen.

"Hey guys, we got the phone. Unfortunately, that's everything we've got. We talked to Jason Hatfield's doctor. He is pretty sure that Hatfield won't regain consciousness again. Seems he suffered severe brain damage during the accident. So we won't be able to interview him. I'm sorry." Adam handed Hatfield's phone over to Tani for that she could connect it to the smart table.

"Well, we have the connection between Steve and Hatfield. We have enough proof to put that man behind bars for the rest of his miserable life – if he stays alive long enough to get him to court. But that doesn't explain the explosion. And Hatfield wasn't at that construction site at all, he was nearly killed in a car crash at the time the gas pipe exploded. That's really a solid alibi." Junior sounded as hopeless as the others felt. The crime lab had confirmed that the explosion had been caused by an accidental leak, so ironically that horrible disaster had saved Steve from being shot to death…

TAMC, ICU, two weeks later

25 days after the explosion Steve was laying in a somewhat upright position in his bed and felt miserable. Today, they had been finally able to transfer him out of bed for 15 minutes. That had been two hours ago and still he felt as if he had run a marathon. He was sweaty and dizzy and felt weak to the bones. The nasal cannula providing the much needed oxygen didn't make him feel any better. He felt so hopeless. His upper body and head were still confined in that rigid brace that stopped his whole torso and head from any movement. Not that he had been able to move without the contraption. He still had close to no feeling in his forearms and hands and the rest of his arms and upper torso were painfully tingling. The doctors had explained him that this was a good sign. It showed the nerves came back to life. "What life!" Steve thought bitterly. What kind of life would it be he would go back to? Since two days he was able to lift his elbows for a couple of inches and hold them there for 30 seconds the most. That was so far the only sign that he would maybe regain some motor function. What kind of life would he lead without being able to even lift his arms? Laying in a bed like dead meat, in diapers and not even able to turn around by himself? Not able to feed himself? The darkest of thoughts came to his mind and Steve couldn't stop the tears that were running down his cheeks.

That was how Danny found his best friend when he entered the ICU cubicle. His once larger-than-life partner looking miserable and crying his eyes out.

"Oh babe." Danny felt heartbroken to see Steve so depressed. He took his splinted hand in his own and tried to make his partner look at him. Steve closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears and block out the embarrassment that overcame him anytime, when one of his ohana saw him in those weak moments. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be hopeful. But for now he only felt miserable and of no use at all. His world was a dark one and he had no idea how to change that.

Over the last two weeks, the team had taken shifts to be with their fallen leader. They all had tried to cheer him up, involved him in any case they had just to give him some hope and show him, that although he wouldn't be able to chase suspects down the streets of Honolulu any longer, his opinion and expertise was more than needed. Steve never had shown real interest in the conversations and so the discussions had changed to a more superficial content. Today Danny had decided that it was time to stop talking about the weather and to address the elephant in the room. But as he saw Steve so sad and hopeless, he didn't know where to start. So he just took a seat on the uncomfortable chair beside Steve's bed and watched his friend.

As the tears had dried after a long half hour, Steve started the conversation. He took a deep breath an addressed his partner.

"Danny, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do. The tears just keep falling. I really try to be optimistic but look at me. This is me now, a dead piece of meat. I keep shitting myself without realizing it and without the help of the nurses I couldn't even drink a sip. I cannot live like this." His voice broke and the tears kept coming again. Dr Cunningham had explained to him that this was a very normal and healthy reaction for his mind to process the transition in his life. But honestly, it couldn't be healthy to cry like a baby nearly every waking moment. When would this finally stop?

"Steve, I know that there is nothing I can say to undo what happened but you must know that whatever the future holds you are not alone in this. We are all in this with you. We will provide any and every help and assistance you may need, but you have to accept our support."

"See, that's exactly the point. I don't want to be dependent on any support for the rest of my life! For now, it looks that I will need help in any daily task forever! How can I accept this new life?" Steve looked pleadingly at Danny and then closed his eyes once more.

Danny was overwhelmed. Yeah, Steve was right, this wasn't what you usually call a fulfilled life. But there were so many people with similar injuries who had been able to accept their change. Why should his best friend, his brother be the one who couldn't learn to go on?

"Buddy, we will find a way out of this dark spot you're in right now. I'm not sure how, but trust me, we will! Wasn't today the day of the days where you finally left this comfy bed? This is a huge step! Don't focus on everything you've lost but on what you regain!"

"Danny, they took me out of the bed by the use of a crane to wheel me in the shower like a piece of cattle. I don't see how this should be a step forward? Can you imagine how it feels to not feel anything below your upper arms and shoulders and being moved by a machine because your dead weight is too heavy for the nurses to carry you? How it feels to be in need of being carried by somebody or some crane? I really try to see something positive in this, but honestly, there is nothing to be found!"

When Steve fell silent after this outburst and concentrated on breathing, Danny stood up and looked him in the eyes. "Steve, tell me what we can do! Tell me what you want, how we can cheer you up. We cannot keep talking about the weather while watching you getting more miserable by the minute. I don't know, maybe you need more sessions with Cunningham or less or I don't know. Say something!"

Steve looked at Danny with an intense look and growled "There is nothing you can do. You should leave now. And tell the others I don't want any visitors any more. You need to move on. Without me." He closed his eyes and continued to breathe heavily.

Danny was shocked. That was some reaction he had been warned of by Dr Cunningham. Steve was deep down in a severe depression and the only way out was to give him something to look forward to. But obviously, he even managed to look at the little progress he made as something negative. Danny left the cubicle to find Dr Cunningham. They needed help and they needed it fast.