CHAPTER 16

Words Unspoken

Mars walked into her parents' house, tired as all hell even, despite having slept more in these past few weeks than in the past year. She arrived home a little late, and she wanted desperately to have a drink, but she was trying to not screw up for a while. At least long enough that people wouldn't be suspicious.

Yelling echoed from the kitchen down the narrow hallway leading to it. "I'm going now! He is my father, I shouldn't have to wait." Mars heard her father, she stepped slowly, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. She did want to get to her room, but unfortunately, that involved going through the kitchen.

"And they are your kids, Sayid!" Mary shouted back.

"Just fucking tell them for me!" Sayid sounded angrier by the second. Mars bit the inside of her lip and sat on the floor, waiting for it to pass. She looked at her nails.

Mary's voice bellowed; "You're one giant child! God forbid you actually try and parent!" Mars found herself with her knees tucked against her chest as she listened to them fight. She unlocked her phone, finding Little Stilinski in the contacts and typing s.o.s.. She hovered over the send button, but ultimately, she locked the phone without doing anything. He had enough going with Scott, more important things than her familial drama.

"Like you're one to talk, Mary." Mars heard footsteps getting closer to her and the voices getting louder. Mars panicked and she tripped over herself as she tried to stand. "Can we not do this right now?" Sayid's usually slicked black hair was messy, he looked exhausted as he rounded the corner.

"Where have you been?" Mary snapped, seeing her daughter stumble and assuming the worst.

"With Allison and Lydia" Mars managed. She wasn't really with anyone, she'd just been roaming around to be quite honest- but somehow hanging out with two mom-approved friends seemed like the better option.

"Tell the truth." Mary scolded.

"You caught me, Mum. I was out fucking the rest of the lacrosse team." She quipped, Sayid's eyes widened.

Mary looked between Sayid and Mars, clearly waiting for her husband to say something. "Want to reel in the vulgarity?"

"Not particularly." Mars ignored her mother, turning her attention to her father. "...Where are you going, Abbi?" She was anxious, her fingers twitched by her side. Whatever they'd been fighting about was serious- really serious.

Terrified that this was Sayid's last straw, she could feel pinpricks sting her eyes- she knew he wouldn't bring her with him- but he couldn't leave Mars alone with Mary, could he?

Sayid slipped past Mars and picked up the packed duffel off of the ground. Everyone was always packed, always ready to run. "I'm going home for a bit, got to fetch Teta." He explained, clearing his throat. Mars perked up, her grandmother was easily one of her favorite people in the entire world.

"Teta is coming for a visit?" Mars smiled, "Brilliant!"

Mary and Sayid looked to each other, communicating wordlessly in a way that only a couple who'd been married for almost 20 years could. Sayid opened his mouth to speak, having a hard time forming words. "Dad. He uh-" He managed, leaning against the small table in the hall. "I got to- erm."

"Is Grandad alright?" Mars' panic was back, she'd never seen Sayid like that, not once in her entire life. He looked like he was having trouble just keeping himself upright. Mars couldn't handle the wait, she turned to Mary. "Mum?"

Mary held her head in her hand, everything had shit timing right now. "He had a stroke last night. Didn't make it." Mars was too repulsed by the apathy to initially process what had been said. Grandad is dead.

"Last night? This happened last night and no one said anything?" Mars snapped, her gesture expansive and her face red.

"It's not exactly like you were here!" Mary shouted back, desperately wanting Mars to disappear.

Mars' voice gave her away, even when she tried to be strong. She realized that someone else's grief was more important than her own. "Dad- Daddy, are you alright?" She turned to him.

"What kind of a stupid fucking question is that?" Sayid dejected, no regard for his words.

Mars wanted to slap him. She wanted to push him out the door and tell him not to fucking look back. She wanted to scream at him for every time he'd ever wronged her, for every time he sat back or pretended not to hear the things Mary said to her. All the times Mary said she wished Mars hadn't been born, that if she was going to leave that she should just stay gone.

Mars wanted to scream at her father for every time she'd been lost and desperate and all she had needed was her dad to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

She couldn't bring herself to do it. She buried it. Added it to the fire.

"Y-you're right. Stupid question." Mars wiped the small area of skin just below her right eye. "Have a safe flight." She took one last look at them and walked right back out from where she'd came. She didn't even bother to grab her phone. She just wanted out. Out of that conversation, out of her family, out of her life.

Without thinking, she found herself standing in front of the Stilinski home. She always found herself back there. Mars unclasped her necklace and unlocked the front door with the key that hung from it before returning the crescent and the key to her neck.

She closed the door behind her and flicked on the lights. She couldn't be still, for if she had the smallest second, she would break down entirely.

First thing was first, she grabbed a hamper, knowing that when she reached Stiles' room everything would be strewn out haphazardly. She collected all of the clothes laying around in his room and from Sheriff's and started a load of laundry.

It didn't take long enough, she had to do something else.

The vacuum found its way out of its dusty hallway closet and she took care of every room in the house.

She still needed to do more.

One chore rolled into the next, the beds were stripped and remade, the pillows fluffed and lovingly placed. All of the laundry was done and folded (occasionally ironed) and returned to their respectful bedrooms. She'd scrubbed both of the bathrooms down to the grout between the floor tiles. Every dish was washed and every paper on the kitchen table stacked neatly in three separate piles.

Sheriff came home around midnight, his jacket slung over his forearm. The crime influx was kicking his ass. His body ached to lie down, for his head to hit a pillow- but he also realized the reality of his situation. He would sit at the kitchen table and work some more. He didn't register the lights were on yet, he wasn't alert. Maybe he needed some coffee.

He walked to the kitchen and tossed his jacket over the back of a chair. His coffee cup wasn't there anymore, everything was tidy. He walked from the table into the kitchen and then he saw her. On her hands and knees, wearing Stiles' clothes and a pair of yellow rubber gloves as she scrubbed the kitchen floor with a wooden brush. Every motion she made was more exhausted then the last, but she continued on.

"Bad day?" Sheriff made his presence known, Mars nodded without looking up. He crossed his arms. "Do you want to talk about it?" He watched her carefully. He didn't know it, but he'd made a mistake. He'd broken her from the trance she'd been in for nearly five hours. Mars stopped scrubbing and shook her head.

She was silent in her crying, he wouldn't have even known if it hadn't been for the sniffle when she breathed in. Sheriff sat down on the floor with her, which was surprisingly dry for being cleaned. Who knew how long she'd been at it.

Mars took off the gloves and tossed them into the bucket. "Grandad's dead" Mars' face contorted as she tried to hide her sadness. It was hard but she couldn't bring herself to let it out.

"Come here." Sheriff held out his arms for her, letting her know that it was alright, that he would be here for her as he always was. Mars nearly tackled him, burying her head deep into his chest and curling up on his lap as sobs escaped her. He kissed the top of her head. This was terrible, she could hardly even breath. "Shh" He tried to sooth to no avail. He had no idea what to say.

"Why does everyone have to die?" Mars mumbled before being taken over again by her tears. She couldn't get herself to stop, and it was only made worse once she began to think about Claudia.

Sheriff knew this would only lead there. To the one thing that he, Stiles and Mars never talked about; his late wife. He still wasn't ready, it didn't matter how much time had passed.

"I ask myself that question every day, kiddo." He answered finally. It was all he could manage. "Do you remember what I told you after She died?" Sheriff couldn't say her name… he hadn't in a long time.

It had taken him a few days to say anything after she passed, but Mars remembered when he did vividly. She was eight years old, and waiting for someone, anyone, to come out of their room.

Going home wasn't an option, her mom had been drunk ever since she'd gotten the call and Mars didn't want to upset her even more. Knocking on the Stilinski's door didn't seem like a good idea either. She knew they were sad, too.

So, Mars sat alone. On the middle step in front of the house for 11 hours with only an occasional bathroom break behind a bush. It was the first time she realized that she could just run, that no one cared where she was or what she was doing. Her hair was knotted in a curly, greasy mess because she didn't want to ask her mom for help and she was in the same pink flowery dress she'd worn for three days straight. The same dress Mars had been wearing at the hospital with Stiles when the steady beeping went flat. She'd been sitting on the bed with Claudia before the doctors came in and ushered them out.

Then, she didn't understand what was going on, why Stiles was crying, why he wouldn't talk… but Ahmir explained to her what death was when she got home, and then she began to cry, too. What do you mean not ever waking up?

Sheriff had invited her inside when he saw her through the window, he didn't say much. Mars remembered making him sit down on the couch and giving him a really bad cup of coffee and a blanket.

All of it was wordless- words seemed too heavy, too loud.

When he finally did speak, it was admittedly more to reassure himself than the child sitting on the floor in front of him. "We've all got our time, Mars." He'd told her. "I know it hurts right now and… god does it hurt- but one day everything will be okay again."

Mars sniffled. "I remember." She couldn't help but feel hopelessly selfish again. Sheriff had lost his wife, the mother of his kid, the love of his friggen life and here she was crying about a grandfather she'd maybe had three real conversations with in her entire life. What was wrong with her? Mars looked up at Sheriff for a second, she'd made him upset. She'd made him think of Claudia.

Mars stood and wiped her nose on her sleeve, not caring how unsanitary it was. "I- I should go." She mumbled. "Aje is probably upset." That was assuming someone had told him by now, she didn't have her phone with her to check.

"It's okay to be upset." Sheriff stood up himself and shoved his hands in his pockets. "It's only human."

"Yeah, well I don't totally feel like one to be honest." Mars slipped, realizing so when she saw how Sheriff looked at her.

"I can make grilled cheese or something?" Sheriff suggested, all the dishes were cleaned after all. She wiped her nose on her sleeve a second time and gave her surrogate father a small smile. That was a yes.

Sheriff took the pan and bread out of the cupboard, the butter and cheese from the fridge and turned on the stovetop. Taking the opportunity while he wasn't looking at her, Mars composed herself and steadied her breathing before putting her ipod on the jack.

As always, Mars sat herself on top of the counter. The sadness she had pushed back and buried was replaced with longing. It was astonishing how at home she was there, how much more of a father Sheriff was to her than her own flesh and blood.

Today just re-affirmed her belief that she'd been born to the wrong parents.

The real ones she tried desperately not to think about. Honestly, the only reason she stayed in that house was Aje. Nay would be fine without her, but not him. Maybe that was a lie, maybe she wouldn't be fine without her brother not the other way around.

"Hey, uh, you know where Stiles is?" Sheriff questioned, it was getting late and the jeep wasn't in the driveway.

"I think he's at Scott's." Mars lied, she didn't have any idea where he was, but it was better to cover for him than throw him under the bus. "They wanted me to head over but…. uh. I passed."

"Reasonably." He agreed, judging by the state she'd been in when he found her on the floor, it was probably best she laid low tonight. "So, I hear you're making some new friends at school?" Stiles had told him about Lydia, Allison and Mars beginning to talk- it was a step in the right direction, maybe they'd be a good influence on her.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, they're alright" Mars smiled, she was slowly growing fond of them. Almost immediately after the smiling began it stopped, she couldn't let herself be happy right now. Not with grandad, not with Claudia. "Scott's dating one of them." Mars deflected the subject away from herself.

"Oh yeah?" Sheriff asked, burning one of the sandwiches a little on the side.

"Yeah. They're actually really cute together."

"What about you, kid? Seeing anyone?" Sheriff put the finished sandwich on a plate and put on the next one.

She shrugged. "No. No one really strikes my fancy."

"I see, Stiles still hung up on the Martin girl?"

"And he probably always will be."

Sheriff laughed. "You think you can, I don't know, talk him out of it?" As cute as the crush had been, Sheriff couldn't see it going anywhere. Not that his kid wasn't awesome, he just wanted him to go have fun and not be hung up on the same girl for his entire life. "I think it would be good for him to start dating." Sheriff confessed. "Don't give me that look."

Mars was glanced over at him with a cocked eyebrow and a roll of the eyes. "Talk Stiles out of something…"

"If anyone can do it, it's you."

"True, but I'm not too keen on manipulation. It's reserved for emergencies only." … at least for Scott and Stiles… everyone else? Eh.

"It's been 10 years."

"Who would he even go on a date with?" Mars questioned, deciding she wasn't patient enough to wait for his to be done, she took the plate next to the stove and sat back up on the counter.

"I don't know, what about that- uh- oh shit." He blanked. "That Lindsey girl? You know the one with the braces." He remembered one of the girls he'd heard Stiles mention at one point or another.

"She got those taken off, boyfriend now."

"Okay, what about Phoebe." He suggested, Mars took a bite of the grilled cheese and shook her head. "He talked about a Margaret once?"

"She says he smells funny." Mars informed him, she did have to agree with Margaret though. Stiles did smell funny sometimes.

"There's got to be someone."

"I'll see what I can do." Her mind flashed to the look they'd shared in chemistry class that morning- what was that? And more importantly, why had she reacted like a catholic schoolgirl?

The room got quiet, Sheriff turned off the stove and crossed his arms. "You feeling any better?" Mars was tempted to shake her head, but she nodded instead. "That's what I like to see."

They exchanged smiles, pretending like all was good because it inevitably would be. The front door creaked open and Stiles rounded the corner to the kitchen. "I was planning on sneaking in but the lights are on and you're standing right there, so, am I grounded or are we good here?"

Sheriff and Mars looked at each other for a second, all three of them knowing very well that Stiles wasn't about to get any form of punishment. "You were out past curfew"

"I was… stuck in traffic" You're such a shit liar. Mars shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"You're not grounded, but don't let me catch you again."

"Window next time, got it." Stiles walked over to the kitchen, taking a bite of Mars' grilled cheese while it was on its way to her mouth. "Sup?"

"Trying to get you a date." She pushed his head away to let him know he was not welcome and he needed to get his own. She thought it was great that he didn't ask why she was there. The less she had to think the better.

"With Lydia?" Stiles inquired, enthusiastic.

"No." Mars took the last bite of her sandwich

He pouted a little. "You promised at the party." Stiles hoped the reminder might help his case a little. "You're not going to break a spit shake, are you?"

"Oh, yeah. Shit."

"I expect you to pay up soon."

"Go to bed, Stiles." Mars shoved him away. "Can't you see we're having a grown-up conversation?"

"You're younger than me."

"Yet I'm vastly more mature." Stiles narrowed his eyes.

"Just get Lydia to talk to me." He walked upstairs after grabbing a jug of milk. Mars and Sheriff stared at each other as Stiles retreated, silently questioning what was wrong with him.

"Well, I should go home now." Mars sighed, putting her dish in the sink.

"Do you need a ride?" Sheriff questioned, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Mars shook her head, she didn't want to cause him any more trouble tonight. "No, I can walk. Try and get some sleep, okay?"

"There is a police enforced curfew right now- I happen to be the Sheriff." He reminded her. "Let me grab my keys. "

Mars agreed, not that she had much choice. There was small talk on the car ride, nothing that was really worth remembering. After a quick hug goodbye and one more "Call me if you need anything", Mars hopped out of the car and went inside.

At the bottom of the stairs sat Ahmir's backpack, reminding her that she hadn't checked on him yet. She tiptoed up the stairs and went to the second door on the right, opening it slowly.

A flashback of when they were little hit her, back when she was afraid of the dark she would always sneak into Aje's room. Up until she was ten she saw A.j. as an invincible superhero, but the roles had reversed since then. "Aje? Aje, you awake?" Mars whispered as she reached the lump on the mattress, he nodded. Mars laid down opposite him, his eyes were bloodshot and swollen. "Did Dad leave yet?" Aje nodded again. He and Grandad had been close, talked on the phone every single day. "Do you want to talk about it?" He nodded again, taking a minute to find his voice.

"Dad wouldn't let me go to the funeral." He spoke, it wasn't that Sayid wouldn't let him go it was that last-minute round trip tickets to England were $3,000 and they couldn't afford that for a family of 5.

"Oh, Aje." Mars grabbed his hand, giving it a little squeeze. "We can have our own funeral, okay? Tomorrow?" He nodded yet again. "Love you." Mars lips pressed into a thin line as Aje rolled over.

"Love you, too, M'n'm." He mumbled, now facing away from her. She was deeply upset with herself. He'd done so much for her when Claudia had died, and she couldn't even begin to make him smile right now. Why couldn't she think of anything? Why was she blanking?

These were the thoughts that kept her awake nearly all night.