I Need You Now

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: From a song prompt (Lady A) Lyrics of the song tell a good story starting with the fight in KB's Apartment. What happens next? COMPLETELY AU, Forget the proposal, the swings, let's see what happens. WARNING ANGST on top of ANGST, NO GUARANTEED ENDING. IF YOU ONLY SHIP CASKETT, WAIT FOR THE ENDING.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Also, we take MANY liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events from other Canon episodes to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

Chapter 16

Melissa's Condo, Next Morning

/_/

Rick awoke after the most peaceful night of sleep he had enjoyed in months. He started to stretch, then as his eyes opened, he realized he wasn't in the loft, and he wasn't alone. He turned slowly to see Melissa sitting in a chair, finishing up a breakfast tray for them before she rejoined him in bed.

"Good Morning Missy," he said as he smiled and ran his hand in his hair trying to smooth the bed head, he was sure he was projecting.

She turned, kissed him, it was a sweet kiss, not I want your body, but I care kiss, as she pulled back, he noticed she had on baby doll pajamas that did nothing to block his view of the assets she possessed.

"Good morning Rick, how are you feeling, I mean, are you sorry"

He took her arm gently pulled her into him for a return kiss, "No, no regrets, how about you?" he asked as his lips hovered near hers.

She answered him with a kiss, and murmured, "No Regrets Rick, I told you it was going to be a fantastic first official date" she laughed, as she slid over to retrieve the tray that fir over their legs containing breakfast. They had to be very close to each other to allow the legs to fold out of the tray, but neither seemed to mind.

She began by pouring his coffee, and adding just the right amount of cream, then she poured hers, and they enjoyed the first wakeup breakfast together. She fed him pieces of toast, and he wiped jam from her lip, finally just kissing her to clean it all off.

It was relaxed, neither was embarrassed by the presence of the other and after they completed the meal, Rick asked for five minutes to use the bathroom and brush his teeth.

Melissa had already laid out a towel, and a brand-new unopened box of toothpaste and brush, next to a brush and comb.

"Hurry back sweetie, we don't have anywhere to be today do we?" Melissa asked,

"No, even if we did, we wouldn't go anyway." He stole a kiss and retreated to one bath as she went to the master. A few minutes later, they both were heading to the bed, lips locked in a kiss, and hands worshiping each other's bodies.

Melissa was a doll, even more attractive than he remembered, definitely better built and all-natural. For the next few hours, they talked, made love, talked some more, and after the last session, Melissa pushed him just a bit.

"Rick, I don't want to spoil this, God, I haven't felt like this ever, not even when I was young and in college and thought I knew what I was doing. We do have to talk about something when you're ready sweetie," she kissed him gently.

"You want me to read Kate's letter, don't you?" Rick asked as he pulled her close.

"Well, when you're ready, no rush sweetie, but I want you to, as Dr. Abby told you, be an informed consumer, know what she's offering, you have all of me and you know it." She said gently, her eyes looking into his, sparling that special sparkle

Rick propped up and rolled over to peer into her eyes, so bright, so hopeful and so full of love. "Thank you, Missy, I thought or at least hoped I did, but it's nice to hear it from you. You know how I feel about you, and well, I'm sorry we have to deal with this, especially this early into our relationship."

"Relationship? Whoa, I like the sound of that, I mean if it means the same to you as it does to me, I don't want to rush you, Rick. I know you have questions about Kate, about the why? You told me once long ago, that the why was worse than the what in a lot of cases, and you were right. I finally had to let go and quit asking why, maybe I wasn't put on this earth to be a mother." As her eyes filled with tears,

Rick pulled her into him, into his side, where she always felt comfortable, safe, and protected. Even before they had sex, she loved when he cuddled her. It actually pleased her more than some partners she had in the past, he was so loving with his gentle touches and always knew what to say.

"Believe me, Melissa, I saw you with Zane, no one would be a better mother in this world than you, but sometimes none of us gets what we really want. I know you love kids, and well, back to the question about relationships, I guess, I'm asking you to be with me. I don't know what the future is going to bring, but I do know that my life has been so much better with you. I still am working on forgiving and the hurt, so have patience with me, please? I mean if you want"

His words were stopped as she was kissing him in such a fashion that he knew her answer, without the slightest doubt. "Rick, I know sweetie, I wish I could take this from you, all of it, but you and I know that it's going to take time. I know you've talked to Abbey about forgiveness for Kate, how about yourself Rick?

"You hold yourself responsible for things you couldn't possibly control, so please forgive yourself. It's not wrong to be the one who gives it your all. It's painful when they rip your heart out and stomp on it repeatedly, but that's us." She had shifted her position where she now held him, his head on her chest, her kissing him gently on the temple.

"I think you have to put yourself out there to be able to receive the love, the devotion, and the closeness, I feel for you. I know that you would do anything to keep from hurting anyone, you struggle with that. Sweetie, how about answering the question, when is it going to be your time? When is it time for Rick to go for what he wants, what makes him happy without trying to support the whole village?

She took her hands and turned his face to look into his eyes, "Rick, I care for you, maybe more than care, but I trust you with my heart. I'm not the jealous bitch, that you're going to have to avoid topics with, we both had other lives, Kate just happens to be in yours now that she's returned after 8 months.

"I want you to be able to talk to her, to tell her what you feel, I don't need to know what you said, or be anywhere near you when you do. I trust you, more than that I know that you would never hurt me, and that makes me so confident. I know there are ladies more beautiful than I but,"

He kissed her, long and passionately, "Never put down my lady, she's beautiful, and everything I want and need. I'll read Kate's letter but it's going to take me some time. I don't want to just cave, I had a history of that, and the more I gave, the more she took. I want to talk to her, but when the time is right, OK?" he asked as his face was pressed against Melissa's nose to nose.

"Anything you want Rick, and this is the last time I'll bring her up, OK? I promise. If you ever have a change of heart, all I ever ask is please tell me, I won't stop you from being happy, ever" she kissed him, gently, sweetly, one of the most serious conversations of any couple starting out was just had, and she felt, hell she loved him more than ever.

XxX

Beckett's Apartment

4 Days Later

Kate still hadn't heard from Rick, she knew it would take time, that is if Alexis or someone close to him didn't find her letter and burn it first. She certainly hadn't anticipated the welcome she had received on her return. Icy would be about 50 degrees warmer than the reception from the majority of the people she had contacted so far. There were some exceptions but it seemed like those she met with at the Haunt were not going to settle for just another lip service apology.

Kate had been filling out forms, exit from the AG office, and entry back to the NYPD, plus studying as much as she could for the Captain's exam. She knew that Boyle would bounce her if she missed one day on the requirements. Captain Gates had asked her yesterday to join her at the precinct for lunch today, then after they returned, she called an all-hands meeting.

Captain Gates commanded obeyance, if not respect. She was the one in charge and no one challenged her, so when she said all hands, all showed up. Kate heard snippets of conversations, "what's she doing here?" "I heard she got fired from the AG and came crawling back for her old job" and other remarks she tried to tune out, at least for now.

Captain Gates didn't keep the crowd waiting long, nor did she mince words. She strode to the front of the room, whispering something in Kevin's ear, who just nodded.

"OK, let's get this show on the road, taxpayers aren't paying us to lollygag like this, BUT there is some news I want everyone to hear from my lips. This is the truth, so put aside all of the rumors that have been circulating, I've heard them, and I'm sure Kate Beckett has as well.

"To clear the air, Kate wasn't fired from the AG's office, she resigned. She didn't ask for her old job back, I went to her with a job proposal. Are we all clear about that now? Velasquez? You can stop pumping out the bullshit your boyfriend in HR is feeding you, is that clear?" Gates was scowling at the Jr. Detective on Roz Karpowski's team.

"Sir, yes Sir. I didn't mean"

"Save it, Detective, as I said there's news, I want you all to hear from me, so here's the first item. Detective Ryan can you join us please," Kevin made his way to the front and got all sorts of looks from his colleagues.

"Effective two weeks from Monday, Detective Ryan will be leaving the 12th precinct to accept the position as Captain, Special Crimes Unit, of SVU, please join me in congratulating Mr. Ryan, and wishing him well." She paused as shocked looks on faces and applause were heard, for a good five minutes.

Gates nodded to him and he began, "Well, I have to tell you that keeping this a secret was almost as hard as the exam and the multiple interviews I endured, but Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. Things change, no matter how hard we try to keep them the same, it's inevitable. Change is good, well sometimes, I grew up here, and well, I wish I could share this moment"

"Oh, don't start getting all wussy now Kev, I don't have time to come back there and kick your ass" a voice from behind him was heard. He quickly twirled to see Javi with his helmet off, under his arm still dressed in his field uniform, smiling on the big screen TV. Congrats Bro! You deserve this, and I'm sorry I wasn't there to distract you from your studies, I'm sure you drove Jenny nuts" he laughed as the room filled with laughter.

"Javi, Man, it's great to see you, well see the image of you. Thanks for taking time to call in, and be a part of this." Kevin said,

"Wouldn't have missed it Bro, but my time is limited" he said,

Gates stood forward and took charge, the other item of information is that Mr. Ryan will not be leaving the precinct alone, I too will be leaving to accept the Assistant Police Chief's job, and I'd like to introduce you to your new Captain, Kate Beckett" she said, again shock was on the faces as polite clapping ensued.

Kate turned to face the image of Javi, "Javi thanks so much, I mean there's so much I want to say"

"I know Kate, me to, me to, but I got to go, I wouldn't have missed this for the world. Congratulations to all of you, now duty calls. He placed his helmet on his head, barked into a radio on his shoulder, and the screen went fuzzy.

"Thanks, Captain Gates, as you said, in a little over two weeks, I'll be coming home to the 12th precinct. I know many of you remember the old Kate Beckett, I hope I can prove to you that I'm changed. I still get pissed without my caffeine but I hope I can prove to be more of a leader than many of you witnessed before. I have one simple request, please give me the chance. Thanks, and I'll see you in a little over two weeks" as she stepped back.

"Well, this is the official news, now you can talk about it, and let your sources know how wrong they were. Really in a room full of detectives none of you came close to figuring things out. Please welcome Kate back, a party will be held next Friday at the Old Haunt, courtesy of Mr. Castle for the departures and promotions. I hope to see you there, for now, we all have work to do, so dismissed" she snapped."

"Thanks, Captain, especially the video feed with Javi, I know it meant the world to Kevin," Kate said,

"Well, he wasn't sure he could make it, and didn't want to disappoint, so the surprise worked well. Now, Kate, I hope you were sincere in your words, you have two weeks to get yourself together and take over. I'm sure you know that you have someone waiting for you to screw up, and Commissioner Boyle is relentless, so watch your back." She said, moving back to her office,

"Yes Sir, I'll talk to you in a few days, but I have to sit for the exam on Friday and I need to study, so thanks for lunch, for everything," Kate said,

"Of course, and Kate, please be sure you attend the party next week, Mr. Castle won't be there so you don't have to worry about running into him. See you next week" she said as she closed her office door.

Kate made her way back towards her apartment, she could tell that she hadn't endeared Roz or Ann, they seemed the most upset about her coming back to take over. Roz had made Detective only four months after she had, and perhaps she felt like she had been passed over, the job given to the PET, as she had been called when Roy was still alive.

She turned the corner and there in Harrah's book store, the entire storefront windows had the cardboard cutouts of her and Rick holding a copy of the latest book. Behind them read a banner, The End of The Line for His Muse, Series Finale, Extinguished Heat on sale here soon.

Then it hit her, it was over, my God, it was really over, the series, the reason for any contact with him, no more cases, no more calls. God, she had fucked this up, as she turned to a newsstand displaying the latest publications. There were pictures on a magazine of Rick and Melissa at the Launch, they weren't kissing but could have been they were so close. She hailed a cab, she just wanted to get to someplace safe and away from this, her apartment was her only refuge.

She grabbed a cup of coffee from the Java Hut a few doors down, and went into her building, to plan what her next steps would be. It was true that she needed to sit for the exam on Friday, but if she studied anymore, she would have a brain bleed.

She plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, the wrong move. All three entertainment programs were featuring the surprise book launch for Richard Castle, and how days later sales were higher than any other of the series.

One reporter was talking so she turned it up, "Well to say it was a surprise to Mr. Castle would be the understatement of the year according to Gina Castle Cowell, his former wife and editor of all of his best sellers. She confessed it was only the second time she was sure he had been surprised since she knew him, she declined to mention the other, only that it was while they were married.

"Many of his fans have hoped for years they would reconcile, even after he began the Heat series. You may remember he was rumored to be linked to Detective Kate Beckett, of the NYPD, which has been denied from both camps. His publicist, Paula Haas, confirmed that Detective Beckett was indeed the inspiration for the series, BUT not necessarily anything more. TMZ reported that the two were dating exclusively, but weeks later Detective Beckett, left the NYPD, Mr. Castle, and New York for a career with the Attorney General's office, squashing that rumor.

"Mr. Castle is always private and evasive of details of his personal life, but when asked if he and Melissa Hendrix, seen in this photo taken at the launch were dating and were they exclusive, he replied with a one-word answer, "yes" but refused to offer any more details as they were taken away by limo to a private location.

"So, you have it all here, first in Entertainment news, don't be expecting to see Mr. Castle to be appearing on the list of most eligible bachelors this year, ending a streak of 7 years where he was ranked as high as number 2 and as low as number 9 when rumored to be involved with the NYPD Detective. From what we have witnessed this very well could be the one, for both Ms. Hendrix and Mr. Castle. Back to you in the studios"

Kate heard all she wanted to hear, actually more. She flipped the remote to turn the TV off and decided to call Rachel McCord to see if she had received everything she needed to return.

She called, and as usual it when to voice mail, "You've reached Rachel McCord, Special Agent, Attorney General's office, please leave a brief but detailed message and a return number. Thank You" the beep sounded,

"Hi Rachel, Kate Beckett, just following up to ensure you have received the special delivery package containing all the items I am required to return. Thanks for all of your help, I hope you enjoyed your time off, and let me know if I can ever help you out, or if you're in New York, we can grab a coffee and catch up. Thanks again, Bye, "

Something, anything to distract her from her life now. She didn't give a damn about Rachel receiving the package, she had the signed delivery, she just needed to focus on something other than Rick, well Rick with Melissa.

TBC