Hello everyone! It's been a while but I finally got off my ass to update a work of mine! Not a very long update, but I still hope you all enjoy. In my other stories on ffnet I usually go through any reviews left on the last chapter at the start of an update just to make sure I address them all, which I will do now :) If you're not interested in reading review replies, just scroll down to the next page break for the new chapter.

Happy holidays everyone! Please stay safe and have a good new year

Reviews from the Last Chapter!

pink paladin, chapter 1: I'm glad to hear that! I hope you enjoy the direction the story is currently going :)

Audley Moore, chapter 3: this comment still brings me such joy to read every time I go over it, thank you for the kind words :) For those reading right now, I highly recommend you check out this reviewer's HxH story called GO WILD either here or on ao3, as it is one of my favourite works in this fandom! P.S Raspbery Blonde is also a very interesting one from them o(〃'▽'〃)o

DenoBooks, chapter 7: I'm so happy to hear that! (´⌣`ʃƪ)

kaira2004, chapter 7: I'm glad you find my humour funny lmfao, people like you are rare. Thank you for your support across my works, I'm happy you like the story!

Audley Moore, chapter 4: nononono don't go! I don't blame you for being on board the OC/Kite ship, I could so see it being a thing. Also, I can't really fault you for thinking this, as I just love adding romantic tension between my characters purely just because I can, so you're all good here :) Thank you for the kind words in your review, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! Having your thoughts on specific lines is great, too, makes my heart so happy! I'm also glad you like Kite more now, he's a seriously kick-ass character in my opinion.

Audley Moore, chapter 5: It's literally a miracle upon miracles the OC has made it this far. Who knew that spite was such a good motivator? Also, that mental image of Leorio is perfect, I can see it so clearly lmao.

I'm glad I was able to make you laugh!

Audley Moore, chapter 6: I'm convinced we will never know who Gon's mother is and I've made my peace with it at this point. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that Ging isn't a virgin. The concept of Ging being able to woo another human being to have his child is mind-boogling to me still.

"Endearing" is definitely one way of putting her encounter with Hisoka, but I'm glad you enjoyed it xD

Audley Moore, chapter 7: EXACTLY! It's better to just follow your dreams of spite then to remain so stagnant! Live your life like you exist to ruin someone else's! I'm so glad I was able to make you laugh, making people feel good is usually my number one goal when I'm writing fanfic, so I'm really happy to hear this! Thank you for your reviews on all the chapters, you really went above and beyond as a reader! I admire your writing and have admired your writing for such a long time, so you don't understand just how much of an ego booster these reviews are to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to write them (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

steph557, chapter 7: YES! GING IS TRASH AND DOES NOT DESERVE THE BALL OF SUNSHINE THAT IS GON! HOW HE GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT IS SOMETHING THAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT! I'M GLAD I WAS ABLE TO FUEL YOUR GING RAGE

sya al, chapter 7: I'm so happy to hear you like the story, Ging deserves to be roasted like the pig he is (even if we are all lowkey in love with him hah). I hope you continue to enjoy the story :)

Rubber and Gum, chapter 1: I'm glad to hear it! I love the energy of this comment lmao

Rubber and Gum, chapter 3: AMEN! PREACH! FUCK GING FREECSS

Rubber and Gum, chapter 6: man is literally a psychopath, which is why i adore writing him

Rubber and Gum, chapter 7: they literally are though, there are zero non-eccentric hunters in this series ffs

pink paladin, chapter 6: Your wish is my command! More creepy clown man in the update below! Illumi will come up more towards the end of the exams, and if all goes according to my writing plans, Chrollo and the spider gang should get a whole ass story arc dedicated to them and the OC soon!

Yuki Suou, chapter 7: I'm glad to hear it! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

dianalillian, chapter 1: You flatter me so much, I'm happy you like it :D

dianalillian, chapter 5: Ah, not quite. I can see where your confusion might come from though. So the OC and Ging are from different Islands. Ging, of course, is from Whale Island while the OC is from a nameless one that she refers to in her narration as the Village. They are similar of course but not the same. The OC meets Ging when he happens to come across the Village after leaving Whale Island and becoming a hunter. So the OC only sees Gon for the first time during the hunters exam!

dianalillian, chapter 6: Unfortunately, I ship them too. I really shouldn't, considering how fucked Hisoka's character is, but he's just so much fun to write!

dianalillian, chapter 7: I'm super glad to hear you enjoy the story so far! Illumi should be making an appearance soon, and I promise to make his interactions with the OC just as awkward as those with Hisoka :)

FrikFrakTikTak, chapter 7: Thank you so much for your support!

✧ Letter Eight ✧

If clowns are supposed to make people laugh, then why is it I feel I am one man-eating monkey away from a breakdown at this moment in time?

Take the hunter exams this year, Kaito said. You have your nen, it'll be a walk in the park.

Kaito can literally eat my ass. The nen is useful for reserving energy, sure, but it also attracted the attention of Bobo the Clown, who is about as useful to me as Gonorrhea.

Someone needs to tell that gray haired praying mantis that walks in the park typically do not involve having a serial killer clown as your escort in marshes of unholy creatures.

It's not like he makes for particularly good company, either. He has about all the social grace of a prepubescent boy with a stiffy he doesn't want to acknowledge.

That much was obvious during our walk, when he announced out of the blue, that he didn't know my name. I told him my name didn't matter, and instead of saying something like "oh, I just wanted something to refer to you as in a polite way," or "oh, I was just curious," this absolute fucker, just hums before replying, "Every meal has a name."

Like, I beg your fucking pardon?

MEAL?!

Ging, I'm convinced that if I die before I meet you, it'll be at the hands of this man (who's name I now know is Hisoka, and I feel as if I could have died happily without that info).

And know that if Bobo the Clown (I refuse to address him as Hisoka, it is far too human) does cook me into a Kālua Pork dish, that I am coming back from the grave to haunt you.

Either way, I'm getting off-topic. Miraculously, the clown and I have made it the next phase in the Biska Woods. You son is here, FYI, and he looks relatively unharmed - he is, however, giving my unpleasant company the biggest stink eye I've ever seen in my life.

I'm tempted to ask Bobo what the hell that's about, but I think I'm better off not knowing.

The next phase supposedly begins at noon, which isn't far off from now. Bobo is getting more and more curious at what I'm writing, so I'll leave it here for now and let you know what happens later.

Peace out, asshole.

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Okay.

I have some questions.

First of all, what the fuck is a gourmet hunter? That sounds like such a fake title! What the hell do they need to be hunters for? Can't they just be chefs? And can't they just be a regular hunter who, you know, cooks well? How do they have a whole ass subsection of hunter classifications dedicated to them?

You hunters are so weird, Ging.

Second question, can this thicc fucker not make his own meal? Why on earth do we gotta make a pork dish for him? I became a hunter to fight against the patriarchy (also, you know, to castrate you, but that's irrelevant), this is ridiculous.

I'm tempted to tell him just to get fucked, but I kind of need my hunters license to track you down, and Bobo seems way too excited about us being cooking partners for me to get away with that (also, side note: I was heavily against teaming up with the killer clown for this task, too, but once again, KILLER CLOWN, so I didn't feel like arguing about it).

Either way, Bobo has fucked off to the depths of the woods and has left me with the simple instruction of "wait" which is why I'm writing to you again.

Don't let it get to your head though, I'm only writing because there's nothing better to do, and because when we met I'm going to force you to read through all this tedious nonsense.

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We may be fucked.

Just a little bit. A lot has happened in the past two hours, Ging, and I'm going through it quickly so try to keep up.

Okay, so first of all, Bobo got us the meat and we cooked that bastard perfectly. Makoa said I was a mediocre cook at best, but he can fuck right off because this dish was nothing short of divine.

Which made it all the more harrowing that I wasn't even the one who got to eat it.

Bobo helped prepare the dish, and made for a surprisingly good sous-chef. He left a majority of the cooking for me, because and I quote, it is one of the "few things weak women are good for."

Mark my words, the day I'm no longer a coward, it is over for Bobo. I'm going to smash the glass ceiling on top of his stupid murderous red head.

Either way, the meal made us both pass with flying colours, but that did not matter at all for the next round. The smaller examiner requested we make her sushi, which is just a fancy word for fish and rice, and she failed every single contestant from the first round.

There was a lot of protest in response to this, some guy got body slammed by the thicc judge and then some old man in a blimp dropped from the heavens and said we could do another task.

I really wish I could say I was making this up, but unfortunately this is all very much real.

Of course, one thing led to another and Bobo and I ended up having to bungee jump into a chasm of spider eggs and web. Absolutely fucking terrfying, by the way, but I suppose it was worth it in the end as we ended up passing.

I think I've developed a fear of heights and spiders now but at least my room in this airship is pretty swanky.