Chapter 8: Challenge of a Deranged Taxi Driver
Sunlight flickered off the grassy blanket of green meadows, the sound of wind blew by Katsuragi's face, but she felt nothing. The voice of her friend, Asuka, called out, smiling at her. "Katsu-ne! Why do you look so down? Don't you want to come with me and squeezy squeezy my voluptuous bongos?"
Katsuragi's eye drooped to the ground, "I… Asuka? I have so much to tell you. So much to ask. I don't know where to start."
"Well, you can tell us over the picnic we're having. Come on, everyone's waiting for you!" Asuka then took Katsuragi's hand, leading her through some tall bushes into a clearing where Ikaruga, Yagyu, Hibari, Yozakura, and Hikage all sat at a picnic table, smiling at her in their shinobi outfits.
"You're all… here. And… you're back to normal?" Kat felt her lungs expanding in disbelief.
"Silly Katsu-ne. None of us are normal." Hibari smiled, offering her a plate of futomaki. "Would you like some?"
Kat took one but did not eat. "So… where are the others?"
"The rest of Gessen and Crimson and Hebijo should be along shortly. Homura had something she needed to finish." Hikage replied in her emotionless, dry tone.
"No, something's not right!" Katsu said, her breath heightening as she dropped the futomaki role to the ground. "You need to get out of here. She's coming to kill you!"
"Homura? Don't be silly, Kat. She'd never do such a thing." Asuka replied.
"Katsuragi, it's rude to drop food on the ground. You know better. Hasn't Kiriya Sensei taught us anything?" Ikaruga said, folding her arms.
"Don't be so uptight, Katsumi. It must be all in your head. If anything, she's coming for you. You did doxx her after all." Hibari smiled. Katsuragi then watched as six Homuras dressed in the attire of the other Homura, came out from the bushes with tendo knives, approaching her friends from behind.
Kat tried to call out to them, finding herself tripping over the picnic table. The dreadful knot in her stomach returned as the Homuras took their blades to her friends' necks in the same way she had earlier to Midochi. Kat barely heard Asuka's voice calling out to her as she reached for her hand. "Kat… Katsu… Katsy!"
"Katsy! Hey Katsy!" Katsuragi opened her eyes with a gasp, hyperventilating as the long-haired Hikage in a short-sleeved leather jacket and eyes peeking over her sunglasses stood before her. "Thank the kami, I'm glad you're safe! You look like you had a nightmare." Hikage then gave her a hug.
"Er… y-you could say that, Hikage." Katsuragi replied. "What… what happened?"
Hikage then gripped Kat's hand, pulling her up. "Come on, I'll let Homura explain, but we need to catch up with them." Hikage then led Katsuragi through a gaping, ruined wall where she found several people arming themselves with swords, guns, bows, and launchers as they spoke with Homura and Murasame at a table.
Homura then turned her attention towards Katsu. "Good to see you're still kicking. You alright?" Kat held her head, unsure, as she asked again what happened, prompting Homura to continue. "the blast from that suicider's grenade sent you flying against the wall. Knocked you out cold, it did. You see, Kat; THAT's why you shouldn't be so merciful to your enemies. Never know when you'll end up with a knife in your back, so it's safer not to risk it." Katsuragi's eyes drooped to the ground, Homura continuing, "Anyways, after we made sure you were still breathing, Murasame and I took to freeing and arming the citizens they had working the factory while Hikage watched over you."
Kat let out a flustered sigh, "I'm still not sure how I feel about citizen shinobi or killing unarmed foes or any of it. So much just feels wrong."
"The enemy took our people hostage and we freed them. It's only natural they want to fight back. Look, I don't know if you are Katsumi or not, but we do what we must to survive. This is the way things are and you'll just have to deal with it. Personally, if Hikage didn't care so much, I'd still be letting you take your nap there." Homura said with folded arms.
"Well I… Wait… you were watching me sleep?" Kat raised an eyebrow at Hikage.
"DON'T get the wrong idea! I was just watching over her! Those two aren't the same things!... necessarily." Hikage huffed, her hands on her hips.
"Heh, Hikage was so worried, I almost thought she had a crush on you." Homura grinned lightly.
"Homura you… eeeuuurrrfff!" Hikage puffed her cheeks at Homura, the latter laughing with Kat in the moment.
Murasame approached the girls, "I wish I could share in your laughter now, but I'm afraid we've got bigger problems. One of the citizens have reported that we're completely surrounded. Seems the enemy was expecting this."
"Dammit! Why haven't they opened fire?" Homura said, beginning to walk up some stairs, the others following her.
"I'm not sure, but the citizen said they demand to speak to us." Murasame said. "I almost guarantee they're gonna want us to surrender."
The four walked up onto a high balcony, where a horrifying spectacle of soldiers, armed vehicles, and elite warriors stood. Below, a girl in a fancy uniform, her brown hair tied in a ponytail, stepped forward with a megaphone. "Whoever you are, we know you're in there. Surrender to ShGessen and we may spare you or give you a quick, clean death. Resist and we will burn the factory to the ground."
"I'D RATHER DIE THAN SEE YOU SCUM TORMENT ANY MORE HANZOA!" Hikage cried out.
"Well, well. If it isn't Hanzo's very own Cheerful Berserker." The girl below said. "And Homura and Murasame. This changes quite a lot. You turn yourselves in, and the Hanzoa shall be spared."
"And become your bargaining chips?! Like hell we'll agree to that!" Homura said.
"Then we'll just watch you all burn." The girl replied, motioning for some soldiers with flamethrowers to come over.
"Wait! What if you only take one of us?!" Murasame called out, Hikage turning suddenly to him with an anxious stare.
"Eeeyeah, no. I'm not gonna take a half off deal that gives you a bit of leverage." The girl replied. "I gave you the options. Take it or leave it!"
With an exasperated growl, Homura sighed, "Lay down your arms."
"Homura! You can't be serious!" Hikage replied.
"You're giving up!?" Katsuragi exclaimed.
"We can't allow any Hanzoa to be killed. Maybe there could have been a better option, but right now I'm taking the best one I see." Homura remained impassive across closed eyes and folded arms as Murasame agreed with her.
"Well, I see another option." Katsuragi then shouted down to the girl with the megaphone. "HEY! How about a 3rd option!? You face me in a one-on-one duel! If I win, you all back off and surrender Fujieda Town!"
"You think I'd risk a gamble like tha-…" The girl then paused, squinting. "Would you hold on for a second?" the girl then spoke with one of her officers, who handed her a pair of binoculars. Almost nearly after looking through them, she dropped them, Katsuragi making out laughter before the girl picked up the megaphone again. "Wait… Katsuragi!? Are you for real!? What the hell are you doing running with Hanzo!? Must have really banged her up good after that last visit. You want some more? That would explain the getup."
"Huh? What is she talking about?" Katsu looked at Murasame, Hikage, and Homura, but their eyes all looked away silently. Katsuragi raised an eyebrow but turned back to the girl. "Look, I don't know who you all are. And maybe I lost my memory… but you lead this party, right? Are you not a warrior? A shinobi!? Would a shinobi back down from a challenge?"
"You really did get her brains banged out back there, didn't you?" the girl laughed, talking to her troops. "Alright, Katsumi. I accept your 'challenge' and your terms. You have my word. But it has to be just you and me."
"Are you insane?!" Homura remarked.
"Maybe…" Katsuragi grinned, "Or maybe I'm the normal one and you're all nuts."
Kat proceeded to leap down the side of the building, sliding down the giant pole support, giving a spin before landing in front of the brunette girl, who wore a grey vest jacket, white dress shirt, and a taxi driver's hat.
Kat watched as the girl eyed her up and down with a wide-open smirk of disbelief. "Well, I'll be damned. You really are Katsuragi. Can't say I ever expected to see you in such slutty attire. But even more unexpected that you'd grow the guts to challenge anyone to a duel."
"A lot of unexpected things happened. But like you said… just you and me." Kat grinned, cracking her knuckles.
The girl tried not to laugh, "Yeah yeah, okay. Move back guys. After I thrash her for good this time, you know what to do."
"So… Mind if I have your name?" Katsuragi asked.
"I am Motochika. For the Emperor and Japan! May it be the last name you remember." The girl grinned.
"I'm Katsuragi. And I'll show you a dance cloaked in shadow! Let us begin?" Kat asked.
"Yeah yeah, don't get ahead of yourself, tiger. But I gotta ask, did you just pull that out your ass now? That's not exactly the Hanzo motto-…" Motochika then let out a gasping cough as Katsuragi's foot flew into her stomach, sending her flying back and rolling in the dirt. After a few short coughs, Motochika shook her head, looking up at Katsuragi in disbelief.
"I thought you said it was time to start. You gonna keep prattling or are you gonna start fighting?" Katsuragi folded her arms, cocking her head to one side.
Motochika got up in a rage, "How DARE you mock me! Ninja Art, Mad Tax!" a purple hue emitted from the palm of her hand. Katsu watched as a bright light opened a portal beside Motochika and a Japanese taxi drove out at ramming speeds toward her.
Kat quickly jumped high into the air, but no sooner had her feet touched the ground than the taxi made a u-turn with a swipe of Motochika's hand to charge Katsuragi once more. Katsuragi quickly rolled to the side as the taxi dashed by her once more. Rearing up her left leg, she kicked rapidly, sending several green energy bolts at the taxi, which was turning to ram her again. But as it turned, the taxi vanished in a purple-pink portal.
Detecting something behind her, Katsuragi ducked low as the taxi flew over her head, the unnatural heat from its undercarriage warming up her follicles. Once more the taxi took a U-turn before ramming at her. But as Kat jumped again, she witnessed the taxi vanish into another portal on the spot just ahead of where she stood. Oh crap. Looking behind her in mid-jump, Kat saw the taxi re-emerge from another portal.
Her body smacked against the hood of the taxi, sending her rolling across it and onto the roof as it hit the ground with a thud. Motochika grumbled in frustration, trying to knock Katsuragi off as she made the taxi twist and turn rapidly in a serpentine motion, but Kat gripped onto the roof light, slowly struggling to the front of the taxi. From above, Homura, Hikage, and Murasame watched in wonder, with Homura's eyes near white with shock. "You're kidding! How has she not been knocked off?"
Finally able to pull herself against the windshield, Kat then began kicking at the side of the hood, causing Motochika bewilderment. But upon Kat ripping the hood of the car off and throwing it aside, Motochika screamed, "NNOOOOO!"
"Eek!" Kat yelped, jumping off the taxi before it flew into another portal.
"I gotta say, you really have learned some new tricks, Katsumi. And here you had me thinking it was impossible for someone of your caliber." Motochika spoke through gritted teeth.
"Well, I guess we all learn something new every day, eh?" Katsu grinned a wink her opponent's direction.
"Don't get too cocky, Katsumi. Ninja Art, Mad Tax Level 2!" The taxi appeared beside Motochika, it's hood restored to normal. This time, Motochika opened the door, climbing into the driver's seat. "FULL SPEED AHEAD!"
Katsuragi leapt over the ramming car, expecting Motochika to turn around to attempt it again. Katsuragi spread her legs and arms, taking a stance while Motochika had Katsuragi in her headlights. "Right where I want ya. Tornadooo… SPINDEL!" Kat flipped on her hands, her spinning legs whipping up a whirlwind.
But as the car began to flip uncontrollably in Kat's mini twister, Motochika then vanished in another portal, appearing a bit of ways from Kat. Motochika grinned, spikes coming out of the hub caps as a couple of guns came out of the frontal sides of the car. The exhaust pipes spouted fire as Motochika floored the gas pedal, firing short laser bolts at Katsu. Noticing the guns probably couldn't hit her very well with their limited elevation, Katsuragi leapt forward, crouching her legs up, allowing the impact of the car to act as her dropkick.
Glass shattered as Kat entered through the front windshield with devastating impact. With glass shards everywhere and her feet stuck in between the chairs, she raised her fist in defense as Motochika attempted to punch her. Portal after portal they drove through as Motochika attempted to not crash, but with both fists free to her, Katsu kept getting in punch after punch on Motochika.
"Wow! No wonder Yozie had trouble! Katsy really is something taking on that crazy taxi!" Hikage held her cheeks ecstatically.
"And you say she actually spoke to Komichi sensei without malice? Just as she's done with me?" Murasame asked.
"Mhm! Ain't this incredible!?" Hikage beamed. Homura, meanwhile, silently watched with intrigue and disbelief.
Motochika tried sideswiping the taxi against some nearby trees in the parking lot to throw Katsu off balance, but Kat grabbed onto her arm, yanking on it painfully. Motochika screamed, letting go of the wheel as both girls flew out of the driver door. Katsuragi forced herself to her feet, where a couple of feet (meters) away from her, Motochika struggled to get up.
"This… wasn't supposed to happen… I was supposed to HIT YOU and be done with it! Tell me… when did the worthless little degenerate learn how to grow a backbone and fight?" Motochika's outfit had been torn, revealing large portions of her thighs and torso, trickles of blood oozing down from glass shards as she looked up in frustration.
Kat took a step forward, "Look. Everyone's been saying a lot of stuff about me. Whether it was true at one time or not matters little. This is who I am… I am Katsuragi. A shinobi of Hanzo." Motochika rushed Katsuragi, attempting to strike her with a loose brick. Katsu kicked high, knocking the brick out of her hand before transitioning into a spinning roundhouse kick, knocking Motochika back against the wall.
Motochika shook, her legs wobbling to keep her standing as she leaned against the concrete. "Clearly I underestimated you. I hate your guts, but at least give me the death I deserve for losing to you."
"The terms were never to fight to the death. Now call off your soldiers and release Fujieda to the citizens." Katsu replied.
"You don't get anything until you finish me." Motochika grunted. "You call yourself Hanzoa… Yet you fear killing!"
"Wrong!" Katsu yelled. "I never said I'm Hanzoa. I said I am Katsuragi of Hanzo. Whether it's the true Hanzo or not is yet to be seen. But I won't kill a downed foe."
"You… insolent wretch! You think you can humiliate me and then walk away? I'd rather die than lose to YOU! You who INSULTS EVERYTHING THIS COUNTRY STANDS FOR!" Motochika's palm lit up with a pinkish-purple hue as the taxi reappeared behind Katsu. Kat leapt to the side, the taxi then crushing Motochika between it and the concrete wall. Katsuragi gasped, her eyes quivering as Motochika's torso bent over limply onto the taxi. Coughing blood, she took a few more gasps of air, "Hehe… long live the Emperor… long live… Japan."
The car vanished as Motochika closed her eyes, her body crumpling to the ground. A voice cried out 'she killed the commander! Kill her!' waves of projectiles flew by Katsuragi as she ran to jump behind a steel crate. the pinching pain of a bullet pierced her side abdomen just as she began to jump, and just before she landed, a shuriken stuck into her arm, drawing forth a stream of blood. With a gasping grunt, she pulled it from her flesh, throwing it aside.
Shots rang out from the factory, the doors opening as Homura, Hikage, and Murasame led a squad of armed citizens into the fight. Growing dizzy from the blood loss, time seemed to slow around Katsu, the sounds of battle so near, yet far from her mind. She wasn't sure how long she sat there when Hikage and some other people came around, helping her up, her legs more conscious than herself as the people practically carried her along.