Charging from the house, I just-barely managed to avoid crashing into Mrs. Cartman as she turned around to come back inside after sweeping up the pile of LEGOs and removing them from the front step. Glancing behind me, I caught a glimpse of Alex taking a selfie with a sweet-looking old lady on the sidewalk before concentrating on what was in front of me as to avoid crashing into anything else. Picking up the pace into a full sprint, I desperately searched for something, ANYTHING to distract me from literally skinning Eric alive: only to find nothing of interest that would actually do what I needed right now.
It wasn't until I found myself on the next street over, that I found something that just might keep me occupied for a while: especially since it seemed to fit the details of an idea I had not too long ago. Taking in the periwinkle-blue house (more specifically, the 'For Sale' sign posted out front), I jogged up to the front step and peeked in the dusty window: not surprised to see the same, basic layout of the other houses I've been to, including my own. Turning around, I took in the details of the sign, feeling my eyebrows raise in surprise at the amount they wanted for it, and almost had to do a double-take.
'Only 250K for four bedrooms and three bathrooms? Shit, my old townhouse was worth more than that.' I thought, weighing my options for several minutes: before sending the house a determined look and taking off towards the direction of Denver in a blinding sprint. By the time I reached 'The Mile-High City', it was already close to 4pm: making me rush along side-streets and back alleys until I came across the bank I'd been looking for (one so often seen by hundreds of people a week that they wouldn't think twice about an 'Executive of a large…company' making a chunky withdrawal. Before I stepped onto Main Street, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the form I wanted to become: feeling the biomass crawl up my form and change my appearance into the slightly-heavy, very wealthy older man that was going to help me with my plan today.
Stepping through the glass doors, I couldn't help but grin as I saw that they weren't very busy at the moment: leaving me able to claim the first spot in line, granting me access to a Teller in less than five minutes. "Welcome, sir. What can I do for you?" the young gentleman behind the plexiglass asked, causing me to stand up straight and reach into the dead man's pockets for his wallet and ID: feeling as if I should be concerned with how comfortable I was with this, before quickly deciding that I had more important things to worry about. "I'd like to make a withdrawal, please." I said, making sure to keep my answers short and to the point: so I could finish my…errands without having too many people asking questions.
"Certainly! May I have your name and ID, please?" he asked, keeping the conversation pleasant and happy as I handed over the wallet and driver's license and slid them through the slot. "Richard Lynch." I replied, watching the Teller put the information into the computer for several seconds before handing the items back to me. "Any how much did you wish to withdrawal from your account today?" he asked, turning his attention back to me: oblivious of the fact that I'd been running the numbers in my head several times before coming to a conclusion. "Oh…about half." I replied, trying not to smirk at the shocked look on the young man's face as he was apparently so surprised that he's actually stopped what he was doing. "T-That's thirty-four million dollars, sir!" he gasped, causing me to play along as my mind quickly came up with the appropriate excuses.
"Yeah, got two kids to send off to Harvard, the wife's and my brother's chemo and our retirement to work on." I said, making the man's voice sound as grim as possible in order to further play with the Teller's heartstrings: causing an equally-grim look of understanding to appear on his face. "I see…very well: here's the check and the information papers, and sign here, please." he said, sliding me the items and put the information into the computer as I busied myself with the signatures and other basic information that came with taking out such a large sum from the account. "Here you go, then." I said, giving him back the paperwork to store away in a nearby filing cabinet before turning to me with a mellowed out-but-happy smile on his face. "Excellent. Thank you for your business, sir. And…good luck to you." he said, sending me a nice wave as I pocketed the check and stepped away from the counter.
"Thanks, that means a lot." I replied, sending him a 'grateful' 'nod', before heading back out the door at a normal pace: only to feel myself getting cloaked in biomass again as I changed my form back, making sure the virus didn't take the very valuable piece of paper in the pocket of my jacket. Keeping tight hold of it, I took a deep breath and took off in yet-another dead sprint, heading back for home and stopping at several furniture stores and other necessary shops along the way: taking several different forms over the course of the trip, ending each conversation with a request to have the items delivered to the address of the vacant house: pleased that I could have the deliveries rushed to overnight shipping. Once I finally reached the confines of South Park, I switched my form back to 'Mr. Lynch' and pulled out the man's phone: dialing the number of the Real Estate company and confirming the purchase, as well as making several other calls and appointments in advance.
'Jesus…remind me to never become an adult.' I thought, physically and mentally exhausted, but knew that my job wasn't finished yet: not until my trip to the hardware store and deed-signing with the agent was done. Upon entering the paint section of the only hardware store in town: I busied myself with picking out cans of paint that would go beautifully with the house: soft robin's-egg blue, powder-pink, light-tan, a couple different creams, light mint-green, light-teal and navy-blue and pearly-whites. Politely declining any assistance, I gathered several different-sized rollers and brushes and a fat roll of painter's tape and headed back to the house: just in time to meet the Real Estate agent at the front door with the deed.
"Good evening, sir. Here's the deed to the property: please sign here and we can finalize the transaction." she said, handing me a clipboard and a pen as soon as I set the cans of paint and other bagged items on the step. "I'm putting the house in someone else's name." I stated, filling out the paperwork and ignored the agent's curious look. "Oh? And who is going to be receiving the house, if not you?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious of what the answer of such a rich man would be. "The McCormick family. Specifically, Carol McCormick." I answered, sending the woman an unamused look as she let out a 'snort': obviously trying not to laugh at the very thought of such a thing. "You must be new around here: the McCormicks can't even afford the gum on the sidewalk…to purchase them such a lovely home..." she started, only to trail off as I glared at her: effectively shutting her (and her bullshit opinions) up, allowing me to write out Kenny's mom's name in sleek, elegant cursive upon the dotted line.
"The house is a gift to them, seeing as how nobody else seems to give enough of a shit about those who are living no better than the rats in the sewers. As for payments, its been taken care of and is being handled: have a nice day." I explained, trying not to get nasty with the woman as I snatched the key and entered the house with my bag of goodies: paying no further attention to the agent as I shut the door with my foot and cutting off any and all further conversation. Breathing a sigh of relief as soon as I was FINALLY left alone, I waited until she posted the 'Sold' sign over the previously-available one and left before setting down the multiple cans of paint on the floor: frowning at the absurd amount of dust, dirt and disgusting colors on the walls that nearly made my head spin.
'Shit-brown…really?' I deadpanned, taking in the brown paint that definitely didn't go with this house: time to fix ALL of this. Glad I also decided to invest in a broom, I quickly got to work on sweeping the hardwood floor in the would-be living room: collecting an all manner of dust-bunnies, bits of glass and dead bugs and tossed them in a black trash bag. Once that was done, I grabbed up the painter's tape and squared off the room: glad my tendrils were able to make short work of the higher seams. Putting the tape down, I grabbed the large paint pan, a couple different sized brushes and the large roller and set them up neatly against the wall leading towards the stairs. Preparing myself for a LOT of back-and-forth, I grabbed the can of the robin's-egg paint and poured it in the pan and got to work on covering the horrible, dark paint with a thick coat of a nice, light and happy one.
"Thank god it only needs one coat." I mused, happy that I wouldn't have to waste time by covering it more than once: leaving me able to concentrate on the rest of the house and hopefully get that done before the furniture got here in the morning. After a couple hours the living room was finished, making me very glad my new mask protected my sensitive nose against the heavy, toxic smells: leaving me able to move on to the kitchen while the paint dried. Repeating the process of sweeping and dusting, I almost cringed at the vomit-green they chose for this room…whoever lived here before was either blind, or had REALLY bad taste in colors: though they had a very pretty back-splash that was a pearly, emerald-green-blue mix that I decided to leave alone and bring some color to the kitchen. 'Here we go again.' I thought, bringing out another paint pan and the pearly-white paint: pleased to see that it had a subtle, rosy tinge to it instead of being stark-white and boring.
Taping off the edges, I set myself to work: getting rid of that monstrosity and replacing it with its lovely new coat, finishing in less than an hour. Deciding to leave the basement alone for now, I curled my lip at the bright-yellow bathroom and quickly decided to exchange that for a nice, light-tan: repeating the process and once-again thanked my tendrils for being able to reach the space behind the toilet. Glad I didn't have to make myself high on paint fumes, I headed upstairs and quickly decided to tear up the nasty lime-green carpet that had to be at least forty-years-old. "Honestly, you all have zero taste." I griped, grabbing an edge and gave it a 'tug': ripping the old matt from the floor with next to no effort, leaving me able to toss it down the stairs so I could throw it away later. 'Boy am I glad you all know how to do this shit.' I thought, appreciating that some of the screaming voices in my head actually knew a thing or two that I could use for my benefit.
Avoiding the nails and roached carpet frame, I switched the roller I used for the kitchen and replaced it with the one I used for the living room: bringing the robin's egg throughout the rest of the hallway: covering the rest of the shit-brown walls and already looking a thousand times better than it did before. Wiping the sweat from my face, I set to work on taking the doors off so I could sand them down and give them a fresh coat of paint in the backyard: easily popping the pins in the hinges and carrying the five doors down the stairs in one trip with the help of my tendrils. Lining them up on the back porch, I made sure they weren't going to topple over before going back inside to finish painting. Finding the second bathroom in the hallway, I quickly taped off the edges and got to work on painting it a light mint-green and left it to dry before turning my attention to the four bedrooms. 'Let's see, who's room to do first?' I wondered, before deciding to do Kenny's room first: since it was the closest one to me and the shortest distance from the stairs.
Grabbing the tape, pan and brushes, I decided that the light-teal paint suited him best: painting his room and tearing out a filthy, red carpet that had some VERY questionable stains in it and tossed it down the stairs to be thrown away. Once his room was done, I moved to the room in the middle: quickly deciding that this room would be perfect for his little sister. Rushing downstairs, I grabbed the powder-pink paint and exchanged the dark-purple paint for the new: using my tendrils to make short work of the high points and cutting down on the work time by less than half an hour. Turning my attention to the next room, I vaguely remember Kenny mentioning that he had an older brother that was apparently an asshole: but that didn't mean he didn't deserve to have a nice place to sleep.
Exchanging the used cans of paint for the navy-blue, I set it aside just long enough for me to tear up the brown carpet and get it out of the way: allowing me to give the room a thick coat of the nice dark-blue, which (combined with the lighting the window gave) actually made it look much lighter than it actually was, which was a bonus for the look I was going for. 'Three rooms left…thank god.' I thought, finally starting to feel the exhaustion that was starting to creep up on me as I approached the master bedroom. Squinting my eyes at the overly-bright, Pepto-Bismol-pink walls and cyan-blue carpet, I let out a depressed 'sigh': before repeating the process of ripping out the carpet and taping off the edges before painting again: using an almond-cream color for the theme in this room.
Glancing out the dusty window, I saw the sun had already gone down: making me realize that I'd missed dinner (not that my family would miss me) and the furniture would be here and ready to be installed in a few short hours. "Shit!" I hissed, trying to hurry up without splashing the paint or getting any dribbles on me: causing me to bring out several tendrils and ordered them to get to work in helping me cover the walls in a nice, thick coat. As soon as that was done, I ran into the master bathroom: not even looking at the color on the walls, just ripped open the can of pearly-white paint and got to work: finally finishing in about half an hour. After all the rooms were done, I ran back down the stairs and used my tendrils to start painting the ceilings and trims: all pearly-white, and all easily accomplished in two hours: leaving me just enough time to head down into the basement, where multiple bloodstains, pentagrams and an old skeleton lay in the middle of the concrete floor.
"Well…that explains why the house was so cheap." I mused, not even bothered by my morbid thoughts as I quickly made short work of the sacrificial murder scene and got to work on painting the basement the same light-mint as the bathroom upstairs. "Ta…da." I huffed, absolutely worn out from doing the work of a dozen people by myself, but also knew that my job wasn't done…now, it was time to replace the floors upstairs. Checking my phone, I saw it was close to 3am…and though all stores were closed: I had a job to do, and wasn't going to have it all go to shit just because a shop was closed. Locking the door behind me, I took off for the 'Carpet and Tile' supply store and slipped in through an unlocked window: making a beeline for the carpet section, grabbing up all the framework and underfloor matting I would need.
'Hmm…let's see.' I thought, browsing through the colors and different kinds of carpet and decided on a nice, stain and dirt resistant off-white carpet that was easy to clean and soft to the touch for the hallway. For Kenny's room, I decided on a cream-colored carpet of the same quality as the first: and quickly decided to use the same kind for the rest of the carpets too. For his little sister's room: I chose a very pretty white to go along with the pink in her room, as well as the color scheme of the rest of the house. For their brother, I decided to go with a light-beige to compliment and contrast nicely with the darker colors of his room. And lastly, for the master, I chose a tan-colored carpet that was slightly darker than the walls that I'd thought would look nice and grabbed a couple rugs for the bathroom: a light-cyan one for the hallway bathroom upstairs, a soft-pink one for the master, and a very light-yellow one for the bathroom downstairs.
Once my 'shopping' was done, I gathered my supplies and ran as fast as I could back to the house: nearly ripping the door off its hinges in my rush to finish the floors and doors before the furniture got here in…less than four hours! Gritting my teeth in a 'snarl', I carelessly stuffed the old carpet in the trash bag and threw it out into the yard: shoving it out of the way as I ran up the steps and quickly got back to work: nailing, pressing, and shoving the new carpet in place with the help of several tendrils as I 'zipped' around the entirety of the upstairs like a crazed, madwoman. By the time I FINALLY finished, the sun was barely starting to rise between the mountains: making me grit my teeth as I rushed with the electric sander I borrowed from home and striped the doors bare of the old, dingy-white paint: making me pleased that the doorknobs were in excellent shape and didn't need replaced any time soon.
Sparing no time, I used the last of the pearly-white paint to cover the eight doors front and back: leaving the bottoms and a couple inches from the top bare, as to avoid smearing the fresh paint on anything and making me start all over. Glancing at my phone, I saw I had about an hour left until the furniture was supposed to arrive: giving me just enough time to clean the toilets, bathtubs, sinks and showers, and mop and polish the floors downstairs. Since I'd already cleaned the basement before I painted it, the only thing I had left to do was clean and open the windows and let the smell of fresh paint out: just in time for the furniture trucks to arrive. Changing my form to 'Mr. Lynch' again, I tried not to 'skip' down the stairs as I opened the door for the two teams of four burly men into the house: stepping out of the way as they carried the kitchen appliances through the house on dollies.
"Mind the walls, guys: just painted." I said, trying not to 'hover' over them as they carried the heavy, large appliances through the house and got to work on installing them: 'cringing' each time they got too close to hitting a corner or scraping a wall. 'Okay, no scratches on the floor so far or messed up walls…so far so good.' I mused, listening to the sounds of the multiple tools and conversation between the movers: keeping away from the door as the second team made their way inside with the living room and dining room furniture. Watching them work, I was pleased to see them set up the living room in a way I would have done it: the two soft, white couches making an 'L' shape from the back wall to facing the fireplace, the oval-shaped coffee table in the middle, and the white lounge chair directly next to the fireplace on the other side.
Without even being asked to, I watched one of the guys drape a lace runner on the mahogany coffee table before leaving the house for a few minutes: returning with a vase-full of fresh lilies and set them in the middle (how the hell he got them in the dead of winter, I didn't know: but was happy with the extra touch). "My wife renovates houses." he said, causing me to send him an understanding smile: before leaving him to his work as he added dark-blue and white pillows to the couches and a couple of thin, white curtains to compliment the windows. Watching the guys set up the dining room a few feet away, I was pleased to see the dark, mahogany table and matching chairs fit the color scheme very well: the long, rectangular table and five chairs left plenty of space for a couple dark-wood corner tables, blue lamps with clean, white shades and a white china cabinet that was being filled with a set of shatter-proof china that was dark-blue and white, with several glass cups taking up their own space on a separate shelf.
Once the cabinet was stocked, and the rest of the living room tended to, I backed away from the stairs as the second team started bringing in the bedroom furniture: and judging by how close the 'assembling' sounded, they were doing Kenny's room first. Letting them do their thing, I busied myself with walking over to the dining table and began writing a lengthy letter addressed to the McCormicks: with a detailed list of 'Terms and Conditions' included, just for Kenny's parents. With nothing else to really do at the moment, I carefully started peeling the tape from the walls and threw it in with the rest of the trash: silently proud of my work and suddenly got the nervous feeling that they would hate it…before quickly brushing it off as nothing more than paranoia, stepping away from the door as the first team of men walked through the door and began retrieving the new cabinets from the back of the truck and got to work on installing them too.
'Might want to give them a hefty tip after this.' I mused, watching the second team return down the stairs and returned with the furniture of both Kenny's sister and older brother: damn, those guys wasted no time and spared no expense. It wasn't until an hour and a half later, that they had finished: allowing me to escort them out of the house with my thankful gratitude and a $500 tip. Closing the door behind them, I scowled at all the dusty footprints on the freshly-cleaned floor, before once again putting myself to work and scrubbed it clean. "I swear to god, if anything is scuffed, broken, or messed up in any way, shape or form…someone's going to die." I muttered, so ready to be done with this shit that I could scream: especially when it wasn't something that could really be delayed without giving away the surprise, not in such a small town. Taking a deep breath, I set the broom against the wall and headed into the kitchen to check out the results and was pleasantly surprised to see how well it turned out.
With a fresh set of stainless appliances and off-white cabinets, it turned out much better than I'd thought it would: the guys even plugged in everything and got it all set up for me, though the fridge and freezer wouldn't be ready for food for another few hours yet, but I didn't mind. With a small smile, I quickly got to work and swept and mopped the floors (taking great care not to warp the wooden floor of the living room), before kicking off my boots and headed up the stairs: trying not to enjoy the comfortable feeling of fresh, squishy carpet beneath my socks too much, as it wasn't mine to enjoy. Taking a peek in Kenny's room, I was pleased to see everything was all set up in here too: with the light-tan desk, single bed, bookcase full of books on videogames and sports, dresser and toy box all placed and ready: I was extremely curious of the kind of look he would have on his face. With multiple shades of dark-blue, grey, white and green: I left plenty to be desired on purpose, just in case he wanted to add more and decorate his own room how he'd wanted.
Looking in his sister's room, I grinned as I took in the white furniture and warm-pink bedspread and curtains: complete with a small bookcase filled with children's books and Disney stories, pink, grey and white toy box and nightlight plugged in next to her bed, I smiled at the fluffy teddy bear one of the guys placed next to her pillow. Stepping out of the room, I turned my attention to their brother's room: being an older boy, I chose a slightly-darker color scheme for his room: mahogany dresser, side tables and bedframe, grey pillows and quilt with blue and white plaid sheets, dark-grey desk with a white chair and another (more comfortable) chair that was the same blue and white plaid as the sheets. Pulling back the white curtains, I was happy with how it turned out and turned my attention to the master bedroom: happy I chose the neutral colors of white, tan, bronze, and medium-brown for Kenny's parents, even happier that the guys added shower curtains and towels to the bathrooms so I didn't have to.
Closing the windows and retreating back downstairs, I finished closing and locking the rest of the windows before finishing with painting the doors and carefully pounded the lids back on the cans of paint and stored them in the basement under the stairs before deciding that it was time to go shopping for food, toilet paper, and other basic necessities: locking the door behind me and made a bee-ling for the grocery store: ignoring the 'growling' of my stomach as I filled not one, but two carts to the top: paying for the lot and returning to the house in a daze at this point. Once all the food and other basic items were FINALLY put away, I grabbed up the doors, brought them back upstairs, and reinstalled them accordingly: happy to be done with that and was able to put out the vanilla and chocolate cake, paper plates, napkins and plastic silverware on the table, allowing me to tie the multicolored balloons to the chairs and the mailbox outside, before hanging up the last and final piece: a large banner that read 'Welcome Home, McCormick Family' above the table.
Lighting a low flame in the fireplace, I grabbed a pair of small red signs: notices of 'eviction' and 'dangerous building, scheduled for demolition' (forged of course), the key to the house, an easy riddle, and a large, fat skein of bright-red yarn. 'Here comes the fun part.' I thought, feeling a giddy smile stretch across my face as I took a last glance at my hard work ad I closed and locked the door behind me, ready to begin 'Phase Two' of my plan: and hoped that my small act of kindness wouldn't get thrown back in my face.