Chapter 8
Sakura kicked a pebble off the dirt road leading back to her house. "Why doesn't anyone want to train me? Why can't I get stronger? The chunnin exams are in a month!"
A small, sloping bridge curved up and down, like a little hill, connecting to roads above the stream. Sakura paused at its highest height and rested her forearms on the stone railings, looking down at her reflection. The stream didn't seem to flow very fast today, its still surface acting as a perfect mirror.
"It's not fair. I'm always dead weight, the whiny girl that needs to be saved all the time..."
The moon's image seemed so large next to her small silhouette. Like her teammates, she always felt so small and insignificant. Sakura peered at her reflection. Her blushed skin looked untouched, no scars. She stretched her hands close to her face. Barely any callous. Not many scars or marks telling of any newly learned jutsus or hardcore training.
At the thought of feeling scared, angry, and humiliated, she clenched her fists tight in anger.
"Train me…" she said to no in particular, maybe herself in the reflection,"Someone train me damnit!"
The quiet of the stream seemed to answer her call. Her reflection ebbed and flowed from the droplets of tears disturbing her perfect image.
I'll take on the chunnin exams myself.
I don't have a plan...but I'll figure something out.
I'll figure out my own path.
There was a note left on her front door, when Sakura came back from her rendezvous with Sasuke and his team. Sakura inched closer in fear, scared to know who it's from this time. She instantly relaxed when she recognized the scribbly handwriting and grammar that resembled a 10 year old. It was an invitation to eat ramen with Naruto next week when he returns from his mission.
She hasn't seen him for a long time since they've been out of the village on missions to gather allies for Konoha and finding the other Jinchuurickis.
Sighing from relief she unlocked the door to her home, settled down, and finally took a shower. As she was shedding her clothes, she glimpsed at the bathroom mirror, almost startled by her own expression.
She looked terrible. Since she had light skin, the bags under her eyes were considerably dark and she looked as if she had been locked up and starved in a room for days.
She turned the knob and the hot clatter of water from the shower head gave a soothing, grounding effect. It helped with the questions swirling around in her head. What's with Sasuke? Why did he ask her for help of all people? What's his motive? He was the only puzzle she couldn't crack. No one understood what was going through his head.
She remembered the brief warmth and pride from his gaze after waking up his older brother as if to say thank you. The warmth of the water cascading down her skin reminded her of his grip on her shoulder after Danzo's battle, him underneath her thighs and him on top of her abdomen, on her arms in the lab…
She gasped out loud to stop her thoughts.
After a couple of minutes, Sakura started to sober up and a sense of sadness washed over as she changed the subject in her mind to Naruto. She realized she hasn't seen Naruto or Kakashi in almost a year. It's been so long. And she was turning 18 in a couple of months. She didn't realize how fast time flew.
She bit her lip. She has been avoiding them for a long time. It seemed like no amount of time would change her feelings about her team's past, how they brought her moments of joy but also deep sorrows. Since it was just Naruto, she couldn't decline a dinner hang out. Out of all the guys, he was most tolerable out of all of them, much to her own surprise.
It wouldn't be so bad to catch up with our favorite idiot.
"Any other information your team gathered from the neighboring, small town?"
"Aside from the medical records in the paperwork, the farmers talked about explosions and trembles towards the west. Families reported sightings of travelers in black cloaks passing by the village at nighttime to and from the Sand Village and Konoha."
Tsanude's pensive expressive darkened. She looked at a spot behind Sakura in thought. "We were warned about an uncontrolled amount of infiltration in the Sand Village. It seems opposing forces have already started their operations." Tsunade rested her elbows on her desk, resting her lips to her entwined fingers. "Good work."
Tsunade gave Sakura a serious stare. Sakura stared back.
"Sakura, I'm not going to stay as Hokage for long. You know that I don't have a long-term vision to stick around."
Sakura nodded and listened, waiting for Tsunade to continue.
"You have proved to have exceptional intelligence, quick decision-making skills, loyalty to your village (Sakura flinches at the moment) and have a good general rapport from the village. You should be proud."
"T-thank you."
"Your name was brought up in the nominations for future." Sakura's body stilled. Her mouth opened and closed as if she knew what to say and didn't. What? Me? H-how?
"I...I…" she stammered, struggling to absorb this information.
"I'm flattered, honestly. I never thought anyone would think I'm capable of something of that task," Sakura said, scratching her head in nervousness.
"It's your decision." Then Tsunade smiled, a genuine, knowing smile. All the tension in the room seemed to vanish. "But I know you, Sakura. It's not in your heart to lead a nation but I felt I wanted to share. I'd take it as a compliment. Some 'gossip' I'd like to share with you. It's Kakashi that I'm considering for the role."
Sakura let out a breath in loud exasperation. "Oh thank god." Sakura chuckled, "Yes, you do know me very well. I really like where I am at the moment. I love being a part of the village, not leading it. I think I also have someone in mind for that already." Sakura laughed at the old thought but Naruto can definitely be a Hokage if he keeps it up-
"Did you come across the Uchiha?"
Sakura froze. It took everything to not give any signs of guilt away. "In passing, but we never came into contact."
"There were sightings of his team around the farm village," Tsunade gave Sakura a look that made her nervous, "I was worried about your well-being and if he interfered in any way."
Sakura swallowed. "I know how you feel about him and what he's done, to me and this village. And I appreciate your concern. But I moved on from him, remember?" Sakura attempted to smile, her eyes were closed and her grin was far too wide. Tsunade stared back for a long time and decided to change the subject. She fingered some loose leaf papers together, straightened them together, and tapped their edges on top of the table.
"Well, there's plenty of paperwork to be looked at. Let's get to it."
"Sakura-chan! It's been so long!" Sakura barely rounded the corner and already Naruto ran up and gave her a big embrace.
"Yeah! Yeah it has," Sakura laughed and returned the hug.
He pulled away and grinned. "I haven't seen you since Danzo. That was like, a year ago. I heard you're training to be a doctor now."
Sakura grinned back and scratched her head. "Yeah, it's been tough but I feel like I'm getting the hang of the routine and pressure."
They walked down one of the busy roads downtown. Warm, yellow and orange street lights glowed along the streets overhead. Lights behind food vendors fanning their foods toward the road illuminated the roads. Children walked hand in hand with their families, pointing at street foods and desserts for their parents to buy.
Sakura and Naruto were catching up on their lives, from missions to new jutsus to town gossip.
"I wonder why Kiba's been down lately…" Naruto mused, walking with his arms behind his head. He pursued his lip in thought. His face was so scrunched up his face looked like a cross between ugly and comically funny.
"Well cause he wanted to go out with Hinata but Hinata's into-" Sakura made a face and pressed her lips tight, catching her almost-mistake, "...someone else." Everyone knew of Hinata's obvious crush on Naruto except for, well Naruto.
"Aw, that's rough. I should catch up with him too. Dude needs some bros to cheer him up."
They rounded a corner. Although parts of buildings and walls were still under construction, it was still busy with vendors and people.
"Hey, Sakura-chan."
Sakura, lost in thought while looking at the street food selections, looked at Naruto, "Yes?"
"Why have you been avoiding me and Kakashi-sensei? I've been...meaning to ask for a while. Do you...not like us?" Naruto lifted down his arms and looked at Sakura while they continued walking.
Sakura kept looking, her expression tensing, then looked forward. The sounds of the clusters of people along the road suddenly felt far away. She was struggling on how to answer his question.
"I…," Sakura looked down, feeling guilty, "I mean, you of all people should understand. Losing Team 7 was the hardest thing I've ever felt."
Naruto blinked and looked ahead, looking mature and older, "There's more to it though, isn't there?"
Sakura sighed. This conversation was bound to come up sooner or later. "I was tired of feeling left behind. I wasn't trained as hard as you and Sasuke. You two had such powerful destinies. Me? All I did was worry and cry." Naruto didn't say anything. He kept on listening.
"Secretly I envied you both. You're both so brave and strong and always proved me wrong no matter how much I relied on the textbook for answers. You two are meant for big things."
Naruto was quiet. The silence between them stretched, even as they stopped in front of the Ichiraku Ramen stall. Sakura didn't bring herself to look at his face until now. Naruto wore a thoughtful expression and crossed his arms. His face was scrunched in that hilarious way again.
"I think we need more shinobi like you." Sakura looked at him, feeling startled by his reply.
"We never really showed it, you know cause we're dudes. Maybe we should've shown it more that we loved having you on the team. You saved our butts a lot too. Not as in carrying us bridal style away from an attack but in many ways!" Sakura ignored the joke and continued listening.
"Like, you stopped us from eating mushrooms and herbs we thought were medicinal that one time. Or spotting enemy traps that even Sasuke couldn't spot with his Sharingan. We could've died from small things like that. Even Sasuke would never admit it but there were things you were better at than him. You're incredibly smart! You were the glue. Keeping us safe and together is what made us stronger."
A nearby truck drove by, illuminating Sakura's vision, as if syncing with her astonishment. She never thought she would hear something that lifted some of the heaviness on her shoulders. She stood still with her mouth parted, the new perspective sinking in.
"But I couldn't keep the team together. I couldn't stop Sasuke from walking away."
His expression fell unusually grave. "Him betraying the team and the village really did hurt you the most. You couldn't hold yourself together for years. I couldn't stand watching you fall apart. That's why whenever I saw Sasuke I made sure I gave him an earful on how much his actions have consequences."
"Wow, look at you. Being the adult for once." Sakura teased but she only said that because she felt her throat clenching. Naruto chuckled, then his face turned serious again.
"No really. It was hard watching you isolate yourself and distance yourself from me and Kakashi-sensei. In a way it was like we lost you too."
That last part struck something inside of Sakura. A crack in the dam she built to insulate herself from the pain of her team. She never thought of how important she was, maybe still is, to the other guys. A warm feeling welled up inside of her chest, tugged at her heart, and made her smile. A small, sad smile.
She jumped when she felt his hand on her shoulder. He flashed her one of his signature grins.
"Hehe! I got you smiling, Sakura-chan." Sakura couldn't help but giggle, wetness trickling at the corner of her eyes.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel like we forgot about you. I should've been better about that, looking back at it now. Everything back then was all about Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. I was so annoyed by that bastard, I just had to show that guy that everything's not about him!" Naruto huffed.
"To be fair, I made everything about him too," Sakura replied in earnest.
Naruto eyed Sakura. "I also noticed you're not calling him 'Sasuke-kun' anymore."
"Well, it's-it's," Sakura stammered, "I don't think he deserves that title anymore, is what I'm saying. I want him back. But I also don't? I'm still...conflicted on how I see him."
She wasn't exactly lying but it was the closest truth she could share without revealing she had had personal encounters with him recently. She wasn't sure how Naruto would react so she decided it was best to not mention it.
"That's fair. I still want him back too, Sakura-chan. I believe he can still change. He just needs his ass kicked."
That last comment made Sakura chuckle involuntarily, "Yeah, that guy needs a lot of sense knocked into him."
Naruto patted his stomach, even Sakura heard his stomach rumble, "I'm hungry, let's eat already!"
They both entered Ichiraku, Teuchi and Ayame greeting them. They took two seats in the middle. Two steaming bowls of ramen were placed in front of them with their mouths watering. While Naruto was wolfing down his noodles, Sakura fell into deep thought, her chopsticks held mid air. She looked down at her hands, she remembered her nightmares where there was blood, his blood. Then she remembered how they were around his neck. They trembled and they felt numb and tingly towards the tips. She was sure they felt like ice to the touch. Then, in her nightmares she held Sasuke when he was a child, then...a baby with sharingan eyes, then to his hands surging chakra through her fingers as they intertwined-
"Did you get a manicure or something Sakura-chan?"
The chopsticks snapped in her hand, "No, you idiot." Naruto continued vacuuming ramen into his mouth, untroubled.
A familiar voice sounded next to her. "Yo." Sakura stiffened and looked up. It was Kakashi-sensei, looking the same as ever.
"Am I interrupting something?"
Sakura averted her eyes to her chopsticks. "No." Sakura felt Naruto and Kakashi's eyes on her. The chair on her other side skidded backward as Kakashi sat down.
The air went tense all of a sudden. Teuchi must've sensed something in the air and walked towards the back storage room, pushing the curtain aside as he disappeared. Naruto conveniently excused himself to use the restroom.
So that was your plan all along, Naruto….
"Long time no see, Sakura. Can we have a talk?" Kakashi asked, sounding cautious.
Sakura didn't reply. She only kept staring down at her broken utensils and took another set of chopsticks from the counter to use. Finally she replied, "Then talk."
"Sakura, as your teacher, I am deeply sorry I didn't do enough for you-"
"You should be," Sakura raised her tone, luckily there were no other customers at the ramen shop at the moment, "do you know how humiliating it was to be the weakest link in the team?" Her chopsticks crushed to splinters in her hand, again.
Kakashi didn't flinch in the slightest but he stayed in his seat still turned towards her, "I know you must feel a lot of hurt for feeling like wasted potential. You were the least prepared out of the three. You have every right to be mad at me."
Sakura breathed through her nostrils. The initial anger dissolving away. She looked down at the table.
Resigning, she stopped placing the pieces of her chopstick on a napkin, replying, "In a way, I thank you. I never would've wanted to be where I'm at without you, or the absence of you."
She could feel he was smiling under his mask. "I'm glad that I can help you find your path as a leader. You'll be one of the finest practitioners Konoha's ever had. I'm glad we can talk again."
She finally turned his direction and gave a small smile. Kakashi ordered a bowl for himself and they continued eating in comfortable silence, just like the old days. Being a ninja meant that she was never home. Kakashi was the closest thing to a father she's ever had.
"Kakashi-sensei, can I ask a personal question?"
"What is it Sakura?"
"I may not know your former team but you keep your team's past a secret from us because...they're too similar to us?"
Kakashi looked wistful. Sakura felt instant regret in asking, "I'm sorry! That was too much to ask for-"
"No no, you're spot on," interjected calmly, "In fact, I see a lot of Naruto in Obito, if Obito chose a different path."
Once Tobi was revealed to be Obito, he declared war. And Naruto would be the one to lead us to bring peace. Again, her teammates were predestined with powerful fates. Against larger forces that can overtake any nation with a few jutsus. The thought alone gave her shivers.
"Do you regret what happened to your team?"
Kakashi paused. "...Every day."
After a moment, Sakura spoke, "Me too. For Team 7."
Despite the serious conversation, a comfortable silence soon settled between them. A young couple entered the shop as Teuchi greeted them. They took a seat on the other side of the room.
"Just so you know, I don't dislike you anymore," the soup spoon clinked against the empty bowl as she was cleaning up, "I just had a hard time seeing you as the right teacher for me."
"And you have every reason to be. I'm just relieved that my absence has taught you something after all. You've figured things out on your own. Experience is the best teacher." His eye turned upward as he smiled. "There's an old proverb 'a hawk born from a kite', that I think applies to you."
"What does it mean exactly?" Sakura asked, curious.
"A gifted child can be born from an ordinary family."
Naruto sat down in his seat, the wooden chair shuffling against the floor. Sakura jumped in her seat, she completely forgot about him. "Where were you? That took a long time."
"I was pretty constipated, Sakura-chan," Sakura deadpanned. Why did I bother asking...
The rest of the night they caught up on life events and accomplishments in their own journeys. The trio bounced from serious topics to light hearted topics. It was starting to feel like the days her and Naruto were just Genin and thirteen. Later in the evening where there were barely any customers and the crowd noises outside were starting to quiet down, she didn't know how or when the conversation shifted to Sasuke.
"I fought that dude a few days ago and he just kept telling me to shut up." Naruto scoffed, "Asshole."
Sakura stiffened and watched the conversation play out between Kakashi and Naruto. Sasuke has been seen treading close to Konoha more and more lately, according to reports. But it's strange because Hokages of other hidden villages were being attacked at the same time, which means his motive doesn't exactly align with Madara's.
"...what is his business being near Konoha…"
"Kabuto was also spotted near the border of the Hidden Rain..."
Sakura worked on finishing her food. She was on her last bite when Kakashi turned to her and asked, "Sakura, I heard you encountered Sasuke on one of your medical missions."
Sakura nodded stiffly. "Yes."
Naruto and Kakashi looked at her. "Did he do anything to you or your team?"
"Surprisingly no. We never even made eye contact. But two of his teammates, the water guy and the redhead, watched us work from afar a few times," she made up on the spot.
Naruto and Kakashi resumed talking about things that happened on their missions until midnight. Sakura listened and didn't want to disturb their conversation, feeling content with their company alone.
They walked out of the stall late into the night, bidding Teuchi and Ayame goodbyes and thanks. Sakura yawned and turned towards her team. "Good luck you two on your mission. I'll do my part to keep the village together."
Naruto grinned and gave a thumbs up. Kakashi smiled under his mask.
Sakura let out a nervous laugh. The sight of her two teammates suddenly older but still the same somehow. She was hit with a strong feeling of nostalgia. She felt stirrings in her chest and willed herself to push it down.
"I really had fun tonight. I almost wished we didn't have to be apart so s-soon."
Sakura's voice cracked at the last word and she froze. Naruto and Kakashi looked at her with surprise, then their expression melted into understanding. Naruto placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and Kakashi patted her hair. Sakura's hiccups turned into a soft snivel which cracked into a soft sob. She wiped her tears with the wrist of her fingerless glove sleeve.
"It'll be okay, Sakura-chan. We'll come back from our missions, win this war, and we'll be here to stay."
She was so glad they didn't ask anything more or comment on her crying. She felt the warmth of their palms on her shoulders as she let herself sob. She swore to herself for years she wouldn't cry, not in front of anyone, and that she didn't need her team to be strong.
But she was wrong. And now knowing that she was very, very wrong, she felt the deepest consolation.
The bell chimed as the glass door opened. Sakura peered inside. "Ino?"
Ino was at the front counter wearing her work apron arranging yellow roses in a vase. She looked up at Sakura, "What is it?"
Sakura walked sheepishly to the counter, her hands behind her back. "I'm sorry."
Ino gently pushed aside the vase to her side and crossed her arms, one eyebrow lifted, "...go on?"
"I was self-righteous. I let a boy get between us again. I thought I could mend all the problems of Konoha at the time and on my own. I'm sorry for bossing you around and letting my emotions get the best of me. It wasn't fair."
Ino narrowed her eyes. Sakura didn't realize how much older Ino has grown as well. Then Ino grinned, "All the strength in the world doesn't make someone mature overnight. Come here."
Ino walked through the door of the counter and opened her arms. They embraced for what seemed like forever. They were best friends again.
In her cheerful tone, "Well, since we're cool now. I can tell you things now. I have a boyfriend."
"With Sai right?," Sakura rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I swear you two stroll around every road in Konoha. And he draws your face all the time." Luckily I did not see any nude portraits of Ino. Sakura cringed on the inside.
"Also it turned out Sai was the traitor for Danzo."
Sakura's smile dropped instantly, "What?" she said dumbfoundedly looking at Ino's triumphant pose with her hands on her hips, "...and you're just okay with that?"
"Yeah, he'll be on trial once all of this has blown over. His justice will be served soon enough. But for now, he's on our side," Ino smirked, "Don't worry I double-checked." She added a wink at the last part of her sentence.
Sakura raised an eyebrow, unsurprised and surprised at the same time.
"We're not so different, you and I, eh Forehead?" Ino wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, nudging her with her elbow.
Sakura scoffed, playfully shoving Ino back, "You're impossible you know that?"
"You're still my best friend, you know that?", Ino beamed a smile. Sakura giggled and for the rest of Ino's break, they caught up on the latest gossip, as if nothing happened. Through thick and thin her best friend always had her best interest at heart and that was something that's hard to find in a world full of death and separations.