16

"That's terrible Detective" Ianto purred as he placed the plate of food down on the coffee table and several hands shot out with glee, the food a firm favorite around here.

"I am sorry to say Doctor, we may never fully unravel those behind this" the Detective said around a mouthful of buttered loaf and then he groaned, closing his eyes to savor it.

"Well… I can assure you Detective, I know you did the best you could with the available resources. I do not fault you one bit there. These… scum… move in a different world and it is one not many can dip a toe on without losing the entire limb" Ianto said with a soft sigh "you did your best and that is all I could have hoped for."

"Well… at least these kids are out of the danger zone. Last I heard though the jungle drums… this place is off limits. Apparently the house over the road had some significance or something, the old lay that lived there died right?" the Detective hooked a thumb and Ianto nodded silently as the man's colleagues stared at him with horror as they knew full well she had been murdered, the idiot continued "Well... after the sad house fire, apparently… don't quote me but I have heard from three different sources… this entire cul-de-sac is …well…silly… haunted. A bogeyman of some sort."

"As if!" Ianto snorted with amusement "Only scary thing around here is me if Jack doesn't wipe his feet!"

General laughter filled the room and John sat back marveling with the way Ianto was handling these badges, the coy looks, good food and open faced… bold faced… lying was such a breath of fresh air. John now saw how much the death of his sister had hurt him, shaken him so much to lose sight of his own majesty for a moment but now… he had regained his soul with the imbibing of others.

Like a Vampyre.

Jack glanced over to find John sitting there on the high stool at the kitchen bench grinning like a loon, staring into space. He shrugged and went back to listening to Ianto shmooze the cops.

"You know Doctor… this slice is amazingly moist!" one of the other detectives finally spoke after a mouthful of coffee that was just right.

"Pear and Ginger loaf. Can't abide dates me!" Ianto smiled softly "This is a nice summer slice with a hint of spice, nice for the new year to let go of the winter warmth. Also a nice autumn one to welcome those spices back with the first of the pumpkins."

"God it's nice. I'll have to tell my mom about this, had no idea these two went together so well" one said "Any chance of the recipe?"

"Ah… afraid not." Ianto winked happily "If I give you that… I may have to kill you!"

John choked on his coffee, turning to the sink as he shuddered with mirth.

Might have to kill them.

God, he is a hoot.

"A Bwystfil. Ever heard of that?" one of the older men spoke, one who had watched things quietly and Ianto knew he was the shrewd one, most likely to put two and two together.

"Yes of course. Google it, Welsh monster or bogeyman.. troll or whatever. Certainly NOT a ghost" Ianto laughed with a flap of his hand "God … that is an old term. I bet someone googled Welsh monster and that was one of the words to come up so they went with it. After all… we could call this place a lair, with the scorched earth over there and us technically the last house standing."

"Indeed… the other two houses not yet demolished are going to be sold I hear" one of the others spoke "Now the … contraction of whatever… is not going forward."

"Hmmmmm, might look at that" Ianto said softly, glancing at John before adding "I can think of one or two neighbours I wouldn't mind around me."

Oh?

John was touched. Wait… he DID like that one with the scary old attic, like something out of a horror movie complete with a belfry for bats… he COULD live there. Hmmm. Ianto is right… best make one more visit to that place… for luck.

John was unaware how large his grin was until Jack gave him a funny look and he schooled his features before saying "What. Just thinking it's time I was on the property ladder ya know!"

A faint bark made everyone turn as Myfanwy lumbered through the room followed by a small terrier and something that looked like a mop had sex with a rat.

"What the fuck was that" someone spluttered.

Jack laughed softly as he looked at Ianto's mouth drawn in. Yes, Ianto had said much the same as Micha had pointed with glee at 'her' doggie in the cage.

"I believe the term is a Shit-poo" Jack sad with a straight face, "Still a puppy, will grown to be a fluffy, curly sort of lap dog. Not usually that small or weird looking… he is the runt of the litter. They are expensive but he was left at a pound as he is clearly…well… deranged."

"I think the name is what finalized it for the kids" Ianto sighed theatrically as the little fuzzle thing ran back through, this time panting heavily as Ianto yelled "MICHA YOUR SHITTER IS OVERHEATING!"

The roars of mirth filing the house made everything so much better as Ianto misled and calmly popped more food into some snap lock bags for the long drive back to the precinct. All the officers and detectives were pleased with the haul, once again praising Ianto and his good manners.

Ianto waved as the convoy of vehicles took off and then turned to look at the two houses down the street. Yes, one for John and maybe… maybe Tosh and Owen can finally get their shit together to emigrate too?

Or just as a guest house for when they visit… Jack's other family members could use it too.

Yes.

John saw the slight nod and pulled on his jacket to go fire up the Harley Davison in the garage that Ianto would let him borrow.

Yeah.

Ianto had ALL the good stuff.

.

.

.

And so ends this segment … thanks for reading. xx