Javik watched Liara's ever shifting face as she attempted to communicate with Echo. The rush of thoughts, sensations, images and feelings the asari experienced through their connection made her face spasm and twitch like she was being tickled by a small insect and needed to sneeze. Watching it made Javik feel odd. Like he wanted to shoot or blast anything that came near her. He had laughed the first time he watched her do it, but fortunately she had been too engrossed in what Echo was sharing to notice or remember.
She and Echo were silhouetted against the fading afternoon sunlight. The trailing crests on the asari's head against the bright sky were like a tiny mirror image of the Ascendent's tapered head. He still found it strange that Liara, the complicated creature he now knew so well, was the same species as the quick, flighty, pack species he had encountered in his cycle. Asari could be problematic if you encountered a whole pack of then. Their biotics and mind melding abilities made it easy for the pack to follow complicated orders from the alpha with no way for their prey to know what was happening. A lone asari, however, was likely to bolt in the opposite direction and stay as far away from other creatures as possible.
The first few times he had argued with Liara or when she'd come to his cabin on the Normandy and pestered him with a litany of questions about protheans, he had spent the whole time waiting for her to get spooked and flee the room. She never had, and had either ignored his aggression and disdain, driven by her insatiable curiosity, or been more than ready to fight back and put him in his place. It impressed him, given how easily shaped and influenced her people had been. She had been unflinching even when he had been at his worst.
His heart was pounding and rage filled every fiber of his being. In the wake of the blinding green light, the Reapers had been retreating into the sky. He did not know what Shepard had done to cause them to halt their attack but he did not care. She had said she would do whatever it took. She had wasted the opportunity his civilization sacrificed themselves to create. He did not understand the Reapers retreat but he knew it could only be temporary. They would return, and everything that his family, his soldiers, and his people had died for would be in vain. He doubted they would even be remembered given how primitive the asari and salarians were. If he and his civilization were to be lost to the ageless forgotten dark, then Shepard would be too.
The Normandy had made a mad dive out of the sky; the idiot human pilot, Joker, risking all their lives in the maneuver. Somehow they had been missed by the crumbling debris of the Citadel. Liara, Wrex, Grunt and Ashley, now in command of the Normandy, had managed to haul the turian and human bodies back onto the ship. They had immediately been carried off for medical attention. Williams bellowed into the comms: "I need all medical to sickbay. And Chakwas, that turian better not die on me. I am not dealing with Shepard's ghost."
Liara's omni-tool had been unable to find any signs of life on Shepard. She'd had Vega rush Shepard to the sick bay. Javik headed to the bridge, taking a moment to stare out at the retreating Reapers. The comms were carrying updates on the captain and turian. He could hear one of Chakwas' medical aids: "It's weak but I'm reading a heartbeat. There is extensive fracturing of the carapace and significant blood loss. Initiating dextros transfusions…..no heartbeat. She's got a punctured lung. No neuro function."
"Get her into the stasis pod." Said Chakwas. "Maybe I can try and-"
But Williams cut her off. "Garrus is the only one showing vital signs. He is your priority."
"But Shepard-" Chakwas protested.
"Would tell you the same thing if she could talk. Have your team do what you can for her." The Spectre barked. "Get that turian stabilized and then… I'm not losing more of her people than we already have."
Some of the Alliance ships were in pursuit of the Reapers. Javik did not understand why they were not being shot down. They had some other fell scheme, he was sure.
"Joker," Williams ordered over the comms, "Get us to the nearest Relay and into a salarian system, stat."
"Aye-aye." Called Joker from where he sat before Javik. The pilot began shifting the Normandy's flight path and Javik felt the ship accelerate drastically.
"Chakwas" Williams continued. "Can you hold him till we can get to a medical center?"
"I think so." Said Chakwas.
"Williams, we have a problem." Joker called. Javik tensed. Several Reapers occupied the space between the Normandy and the Relay. "We have hostiles up ahead," The pilot added. "The Normandy's shields are already compromised and our best option to restore them is running out of blue blood. We can't take another hit from the Reapers, we'll-"
"The Reaper's aren't a problem anymore, Joker. Maintain course and get us to a salarian system."
Joker scowled, shaking his head and snarled, "Ma'am, I am not going to endanger this ship if that turian is still breathing. Commander Shepard-"
"Commander Shepard made peace with them. Laira was with her. The Reapers are not currently hostile, now get us through that Relay or I'll throw you out the airlock and do it myself." ordered Williams.
A roar filled Javik's head. She died making peace with the Reapers? He cursed her name and spat onto the floor of the Normandy. How could - if she wasn't -
"Give me that." He heard Chakwas snap. "Is there any - wait. Stop….That's neuro activity, it's not much but it's there. She's still with us! Neuro stimulators now!"
Javik turned and began walking towards the sick bay.
The doors slid open and Javik surveyed the terrain. Medics were rushing around the sick bay. Dr. Chakwas was elbow deep in Garrus' abdomen. The turian was unmoving, hooked up to several machines. Good. He would not have to kill the turian to reach Shepard. He had been preparing for that eventuality but had not necessarily been looking forward to it.
Shepard lay on an exam table, also hooked up to many instruments. There were no medics around her currently. More good fortune. Javik sent a prayer to his lost people and began to cross the room. A blue figure stepped in front of him.
"Javik," Liara said, reaching to place a comforting hand on his arm. "It's ok, there's brain activity. She, she might still be with us." Her voice was edged with fear and tentative hope.
"I am aware." He said calmly. "Step aside."
The asari frowned. "I know it's alarming." She said gently. "But we really should give Chakwas' team time to work."
Javik's heart was pounding. His frustration mounted. "This will not take long. Out of my way." He repeated.
"What are you-" Liara asked, but the fury inside him was becoming untenable. His objective lay right in front of him. He wanted it done. Over. His whole life, the millennia he had been in stasis, these weeks of agony. He wanted it finished. But not until the traitor paid. He pushed Liara aside and approached the table where Shepard lay. He pulled an ancient blade from where it was connected to his armor.
"NO." Someone roared, and his blade stopped millimeters above Shepard's unmoving body. His whole form was wreathed in Liara's biotics, the brightest glow around the blade and his arm.
"Do not interfere, asari." He snarled, pressing with his biotics and brute strength against her hold.
"No. I don't know what the hell you think you are doing but it is not happening." She hissed. Rage filled her eyes, far more than when they had argued about her people's origins. He felt his arm pushing back towards him. There were now a few more inches between Shepard and the blade. Chakwas continued to work despite the standoff in her medbay. Javik could see the humans' eyes darting from where she worked on Garrus to him. He could smell the edge of suppressed panic on her.
"If you had any sense in your under-evolved brain you would get out of my way." He howled. A medic began to move towards him, but the prothean blasted the human back effortlessly.
"Get away from Shepard." Liara snapped.
"No."
"Get away from her now or I will leave a crater where you stand." She snarled.
"You would not risk the others in this room." He sneered.
"Try me." Liara said, eyes dark. "Why the hell are you attacking the Commander?"
"I am killing a traitor."
"She's not a traitor!"
Javik threw all his energy at the blade again: it began to lower a fraction. "Do you really believe there can be peace with the Reapers?" he growled, continuing to press against her powers. "Are you really so naive? Or are you indoctrinated like so many of your people were!"
"Shepard found another way to-"
"There is no other way! The Reapers must be destroyed." He shouted. "They wiped my people from the galaxy and Shepard is going to allow them to do the same to this cycle. So today she dies by the hand of the last prothean." He hurled everything he had into the blade. It began to sink but before it could reach Shepard's flesh, a blast of biotics hit the table where she lay, sending it and the Commander tumbling to the far side of the medbay.
Javik was about to leap after her when he heard Liara shriek, "You are not the last!" He hesitated for a millisecond, but it was enough for the asari to regain her hold on him.
"Someone get Shepard's vitals, now." Barked Chakwas, still trying to prevent the thankfully oblivious Turian from dying.
"The harvested races are still in the Reapers." Liara said, breathing hard. "Their consciousnesses could still exist inside them." Javik felt like the world had frozen. Her first words echoed in his head, you are not the last. Her eyes were bright, her biotics still locking his body in place. "She almost died trying to save them. She risked everything to stop the Reapers without destroying them because there is a chance all those harvested are still there."
"We have vitals, but they are crashing fast." Called one of Chakwas' assistants. Something connected to Garrus began to beep alarmingly. "Chakwas can you-"
"No." Chakwas spat, cursing. "Get her into stasis now. She glared at Javik and Liara from across the mountain of decimated armor on the table before her. "And if you two have had enough and are done doing your best to kill my patients, take your problems and get the hell out of my medbay!"
Liara nodded. She had not yet released her hold on Javik. She walked towards where he was frozen in his crouch and then released her biotics, offering a hand to him. Javik stared at it for a moment and then took it, allowing her to pull him to his feet. Her gaze was still wary and she stepped aside, gesturing for him to go ahead of her. Shoulders heavy, Javik walked past the asari, leaving behind the medbay and the possible savior of the prothean race.
The sound of sand crunching under Liara's boots as she returned to the tent brought Javik back to the present. She crossed to a tablet on one of the tables they had erected and began typing furiously into the keypad as he waited patiently. This had become their rhythm each time she communicated with the Ascendant. The multi-minded creature shared a tumble of images and sensations that made the studious asari concerned about missing something.
Javik had grown frustrated with what he gleaned from communicating with Echo. The way that protheans read the markers of past experiences meant he gained a history of the Reaper, but learned nothing of the Ascendant within. Areas of the exterior had yielded the last moment of an ancient crew who's vessel had crashed and exploded against the side of the Reaper. Another stretch had born the last panicked moments of a female creature running from the rushing wall of darkness as the Reaper tore through the tall building she had been inside. He had endured these horrors for weeks, desperately hoping for a glimpse of the prothean people or even a vision of their constructions or language, any clue that might mean Liara had been correct. Anything that might mean he was not the last.
Liara briskly tapped the save key on the tablet and rubbed her head. Javik offered her a container of water. The dry climate of Rannoch agreed with him. It was similar to his home world in its arid nature, but he could see the heat and dry air taking their toll on the asari. She accepted it with a smile and drank heavily.
"What did you see?" He asked at last, striving for patience.
Liara let out a long breath through her nose. "A lot." She said. "Echo still doesn't communicate with me as clearly as she does with Shepard. I get images, sounds and sensations, but Shepard keeps talking about Echo's voice as a thing of its own. Echo has to use my thoughts and memories, or Shepard's actually, to communicate with me." She laughed, and Javik frowned at her in confusion. Liara shook her head. "Today I… I heard how Shepard's thoughts sound to her when she is having them. How her voice in her mind sounds. It's like her speaking voice but a little deeper and with this ringing quality like she's speaking in a large space. I can't decide if it means she actually feels small or if it's a product of that ego of hers."
"Interesting." Javik lied.
Liara wasn't fooled. "Sorry," she chuckled. "I saw more of their interplanetary travel. I still don't understand their vessels or how they constructed or piloted them given their suspected avian physiology." She gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, but I didn't see anything prothean. From the skies above their world and their navigation systems they are either from a galaxy I'm unfamiliar with or from a cycle long before yours. Nothing was even remotely similar to the star charts you showed me."
"It is alright. Can you date how early they may be?"
She sighed in frustration and skimmed through her notes on the tablet, shaking her head. "The Reapers' harvests make that impossible. My people have always measured things by the ages of the stars, fossil records, and ancient technologies. But now that we know so much life was repeatedly wiped out I have to throw everything I was taught out the window. Our history stretches back far longer than we know but the Reapers didn't leave us much to find. Echo didn't have any concept of time till Shepard awoke them with the Crucible.
"A small mercy." Said Javik. "Though a complication to our work."
"I am sorry." She repeated. "I wish I could have seen something of the protheans. A view from the Echo's airborne perspective would answer so many questions about the layout and spacing of the ruins I have come across." She shook her head. "I know that might sound trivial to you but… I would give anything to see your world. To actually see it in its might and glory."
"I understand." Javik said softly. Liara frowned at him, clearly disbelieving. "I do." he pressed. "My world was already lost when I was born." He scrolled absentmindedly on a tablet through dozens and dozens of language samples gathered from Echo, from tongues neither he nor Liara had ever come across. "Our empire may have stretched farther than any of this cycle could comprehend, but that did not stop our destruction. It merely lengthened it. I also only have stories of the great eras of my people." He chuckled softly.
"What?" She asked.
Javik smiled at the asari. "I have heard you say repeatedly that you wish you could go 'back in time' to see my world. But a trip to our world would have been like a trip to the future. Our technology may be old, but it is still far more advanced than that of your cycle."
"Oh." Said Liara, sounding surprised. "I… you're right. I don't know why I never thought of it that way. Oh, I feel foolish now."
"Don't. It is just perspective. Give yourself a few millennia in stasis," he teased, "and you'll catch up." She rolled her eyes, then crossed her arms and gave him a long, considering look.
"What?" He asked this time.
Her brow furrowed but her lip twitched as it often did when she was holding back a grin. "Perhaps you are the one who should start pondering trips to the past." She said lightly.
"I do not follow your meaning." He said.
"If visiting your world would have been like a trip to the future for me, then you're experiencing every archaeologist's dream. You are seeing all the details of life in a less civilized world. You get to see, to understand it in a way no one in a world as developed as the protheans ever truly could." She tilted her head to the side, considering him. "I think it offers you an unparalleled opportunity for prothean vengeance."
"And what would that be?" he asked.
"You may be able to find your people and give them a second chance, and you can study us, learn about how the great civilizations evolve and help ensure the same mistakes aren't made again. You could become your own legend. Afterall, what more powerful tactic of war could there be then preventing it from even happening?"
Javik laughed. "Your asari imaginations are remarkable. No wonder you thought all of us were gods," he chuckled. "'Become my own legend' - yes, I will work on that." He nudged her good naturedly away from the tablet she had recorded her visions from Echo on. "Come on," he said. "Let us run another language comparison." Liara snorted softly and tapped in the commands for the program. While waiting for the results, he saw her pick up a page where he had sketched various prominent prothean skylines, hoping she would be able to recognize one in the hurricane of Echo's thoughts. She gazed hungrily at the sketches, brow slightly furrowed, eyes darting from one to another. He could see her making comparisons, connections, and a list of questions that could stretch from here back to Legion. He felt his lip twitch.
"Uh ho." He heard a voice say. "Am I early?" He watched Liara look up upon hearing the voice, her eyes bright. Shepard stood against the final rays of the afternoon sun, leaning against one of the tent poles. "You intended to kick my ass again at sunset?" She asked, grinning at Javik.
"We were just wrapping up, Shepard." Liara said. Javik couldn't believe it was already so late or that he had lost track of time in this way. Liara tapped a few commands into the tablet. "I can set the program to run on the Normandy and send you the results later." She offered.
"No." Said Javik. "It has nearly run its course. I will finish it off, look it over and send you the report. Shepard can use the time to warm up. Maybe then she will be able to duck in time." The Commander rolled her eyes at that. Liara nodded, picked up her personal tablet and walked towards the edge of the tent. She glanced back over her shoulder with a smile and called to him. "Don't send her back up tonight with so many bruises this time. Chakwas is going to run out of medigel at the rate you two are going."
"Yeah, Javik. Listen to Liara." Shepard echoed.
"How many bruises she gets," Javik said with a glower, "is entirely up to her."
Both of them laughed and Liara started back towards Legion.
"Oh," Shepard said from the edge of the tent. "Take your time, Javik, I'm going to walk with Liara a ways. There was something I needed to ask her about." And before he could reply the Commander was trotting down the bluff after the blue figure.
Javik sighed. These younger races were very flighty and impulsive. The Krogans at least had the right ideas about efficiency and rule of law, but even they seemed to be spoiling to headbutt anything that came in sight. He bent over the terminal running the language program and adjusted the settings to search for an even older dialect of Prothean. It was the oldest one he could remember, but he knew there were even more ancient forms of the language. He hadn't paid them much attention, however. Anything that archaic seemed pointless when his species' focus had been on desperately trying to preserve their future. Who cared if they forgot an ancient style of writing that wasn't used anymore if there were no more of his people to care that something had been forgotten? This work of trying to find a trace of the protheans; he was thankful for it. The tiny, painful spark of hope he desperately kept alive was a great improvement to the void he had felt within him since awakening and learning his people were gone and that the Reapers had returned. He had something to do. He continued to have a purpose. But it made him feel unworthy. All this searching for their past, it only reinforced what he had known since he had awoken and the Normandy's crew began asking about the designs for the Crucible: he was not the one who should have survived. He was an avatar of the prothean military. An aspect of their culture that had failed them. Their sciences had endured in relics and artifacts, continuing to shape the races that emerged from the carnage of the harvest that ended his empire. Even the works of artists had managed to find their way to this cycle. And now… even an avatar of their historical societies or a lowly student would be better suited to find traces of the protheans than he.
The terminal beeped and he pulled up the results. Nothing. No traces. No similarities. Another useless dead end. His heart raced. The frustration burst from him and he snarled. Bringing his fist down on the table, a blast of his biotics flashed through the air, sending a tablet and nearly all the papers flying across the tent. He stared at the cracks in the tables' surface, breathing heavily.
"Javik?" Came a gentle voice from behind him. He spun, and cursed silently, seeing Shepard standing tentatively at the edge of the tent, gazing at him warily.
"Commanda', I -" He began. But she cut him off.
"You don't need to say anything." She said with a shrug. She bent and began collecting papers. He watched her for a moment, breathing heavily, before joining her.
"How are you so good at drawing?" She asked nonchalantly, pausing to stare at one of his sketches as she helped him clean up the mess. "Your people don't strike me as the arts and crafts type. Particularly in the military."
"It was deemed a necessary skill for all. That way, regardless of the technologies at hand, it was possible to share detailed intelligence on other life forms, terrain, troop positioning, and so forth. That way it did not matter if you had a crashed ship or lost all technology to an electrical or mass effect pulse. If you still had your hand and a bit of dirt, or enemy's blood, you had everything you needed."
"Well, I don't know if I would encourage blood as your medium, but if you wanted to keep it up in a more recreational sense I'm sure people would be interested in -" She stopped, staring at a page of sketches. Javik grabbed the last of the papers near him and crossed to see what had held her attention. Maybe she had recognized a prothean landmark in the visions Echo had shared with her? But the page she was staring at did not hold drawings of his lost world. It was covered with half finished sketches and beginnings of a portrait. A tapered crest rose from a strong forehead. Soft lips lifted up at one corner in a slight smile, and deep thoughtful eyes stared out at him from an elegant face with lightly speckled cheeks. Javik snatched the sketch of Liara from Shepard's hands and swiftly crumpled it. He gave her a deadly stare. She said nothing, merely raising an eyebrow.
"Come on." he growled. "It's getting late." He began walking towards the beach, his face hot, calling back over his shoulder, "And you get sloppy when you are tired."
Another shot hit the center of the practice dummy but it did nothing to improve Garrus' mood. He tapped a few commands into the control panel and it moved another hundred paces back to the end of the track on the Normandy's shooting range. He stood at ease and then snapped his rifle up to his mandibles as quick as he could and released another shot. His visor zoomed in so that he could see the dummy clearly at the increased distance. Yep. Another perfect shot. Damn. Human ships were too short. No self-respecting turian vessel would have this truncated of a shooting range. What was the point? He had been drilling snap shots for half an hour now and had perfected them at the maximum distance. What the hell was he supposed to do now?
He had returned to the Normandy about an hour after eating dinner while watching the sunset. Shepard had left he, Tali and Admiral Ra'an just before the meal to go work with Javik, saying it would be easier if she had less in her stomach to risk vomiting up. He was worried about how taxing Javik's training was if it was making her vomit. Not that he had any idea what they were doing. She hadn't shared the details with him. She hadn't shared anything with him. Which was fine - he was giving her space.
After dinner he had bought as many non-perishable dextros supplies as he could carry and taken them to Gardner back on the Normandy. He'd tried to pass them off as long-term options for any dextro species that happened to spend an extended time on the Normandy; perhaps if the Commander and any visiting Admirals held a diplomatic meeting with a dextro-species guest down the road. He had a feeling, however, that Gardner knew that it was really for his extended time on the Normandy. Although, with how little he and Shepard had talked, he desperately hoped he wasn't kidding himself and that all the great food he had found, including the large block of chocolate, wouldn't end up being eaten by someone else.
Those thoughts and Shepard's continued absence aboard the ship had continued to bother him, so he'd gone to the battery and re-recalibrated the guns. He had been about to try a fourth calibration setting when EDI had announced to him over the intercoms that his efforts were actually becoming less efficient and that he was making mistakes in his calculations. So after a few curses and a reset that left the guns with the settings from when he had walked into the room he had gone to the shooting range to sulk- to do something productive. Not that the heavily blasted blue practice dummy seemed like the result of something particularly useful.
He heard the doors behind him open and his heart leapt. He turned and felt disappointed when he saw Liara leaning into the room, looking equally disappointed at seeing him.
"Oh," she said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was-"
"Looking for Shepard." Garrus supplied.
"Uh, yes." She said.
"Not here." He said, fiddling pointlessly with the settings of his rifle, rather than looking at her. "She's on Rannoch working with Javik."
"She's not, though." Said Liara. Garrus' head snapped up at that. "Javik just sent me some questions about our work today. She must have finished with him and returned to the ship."
"She must still be doing something on Rannoch." He said. Which was fine, he thought, she's a big Reaper killing, Council saving human that can control a ship with her mind. She can take care of herself. I don't care that she's there alone. He lied to himself.
"I think she's back here." Liara said.
"I'd know if she was back." He said without thinking. It felt true to say that for some reason but Liara gave him an odd look. "Anyway, I'd check her cabin later, not here." He said, turning back to his gun.
"I just thought she would be here with you after-" Liara stopped suddenly.
Garrus simply stared at her.
"Well," she said tensely. After a moment she took a few steps into the room and added. "After being at the birth today."
Garrus' jaw tightened. "Nope." he said simply.
That had been… unexpected. Garrus had never really seen a child born before. He had watched a vid that showed some aspects of a turian birth when he was very young and doing cultural learning about turian reproduction just before he reached the age where breeding hormones became part of his life. He had never seen anything else, however, and this had been different from anything he remembered - even in spite of the many biological similarities that quarians and turian shared as dextro species. There had been no fetal sheath for the doctor to deal with: pregnant quarians definitely did a lot more "showing" than turians, which made sense, as the infant had been surprisingly large at the time of birth.
It would have been a strange thing to watch no matter what. It was especially strange seeing as neither he nor Shepard had been prepared to watch someone give birth. From Tali and Ra'an's comments later at dinner he suspected that Tali and Ra'an were not aware that Shepard had been pregnant while on the Crucible. They had wanted to honor Shepard by having her present when the first quarian child was born on Rannoch in over a thousand years. The child's mothers had quietly extended the invitation via the Admiral as a way to thank Shepard and her team for what they had done and bring strength to the child's birth by having a great warrior present. The latter idea had seemed surprisingly turian for the usually more scientifically-minded quarians.
He wasn't sure how Shepard had felt about it. He had smelled panic and frustration on her just before the birth. But once it began and during the blessings after she had schooled her face remarkably and smiled at the new parents, offering them her congratulations and wishing them and the child well. She had found a way to extricate from them all rather quickly, however, showing her diplomatic chops by suggesting that a few of the child's cries were rightly pointing out that Com'ari was to be the center of attention and authority at this event and that Shepard should make her goodbyes. Shepard had said she would be delighted to hear how the child grew and hear all about her accomplishments over the years, which had clearly thrilled the parents.
Maybe all the time Shepard had spent getting into hot water had also given her the ability to excel at getting out of it. Maybe that was why she had escaped death twice.
"Was she ok after seeing that today?" Liara asked.
Garrus sighed. "Liara, I get that everyone is worried about her but she's handling things. And frankly," He said, "I wouldn't know." Shepard hadn't spoken to him afterwards. He'd tried to catch her eye, to ask silently, but she had eluded this as well.
"You mean you didn't talk to her about it? You didn't check to see how she was coping?"
"She didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it." Garrus said. She hadn't ever seemed like she wanted to talk about it. Not since that day in the Salarian hospital.
"Did you ask?" Liara demanded.
"No." Garrus growled. "I don't think she was ready."
"Well how do you know?"
"I don't." He snapped. "But she's barely talked to me about anything in two days because I pushed her to talk about something when she didn't want to. So now that she just watched someone have a baby when she lost one you can be sure as hell that I'm not going to listen to you and push her to talk about anything, anything until she seems ready. Much less this or anything involving her feelings, which are just her favorite subject." Liara glared at him. "So thanks for all your ancient wisdom but you can butt the hell out because I'm going to be very careful in how I handle this."
"Oh, so now you are going to be careful." Liara hissed.
Garrus stilled. "And what the hell does that mean?"
Liara snorted "Nothing." she spat.
She began to walk to the door but Garrus crossed to her and blocked her way. "What does that mean?" He repeated, glaring down at her.
"Nothing." She said. "Step aside."
He didn't move. "Enough of your manipulative asari bullshit. If you have something to say, spit it out." He growled.
Her eyes narrowed. "I don't want to talk about it. Now move or I'll move you." she said, a little blue biotic light sparking around her hand. She could. He might be the better shot, but he couldn't do anything against biotics. Not that he would actually ever shoot Liara.
"I thought resorting to fighting was my move." He drawled. "I thought the superior asari would have better ways of resolving issues."
"Sometimes you need primitive solutions to primitive problems." She hissed.
Garrus laughed, "You've been spending too much time with Javik. Falling for the fossil?" Seems like he'd be your type. Ancient and extinct."
Liara laughed now. "Paleontologists study fossils." she sneered. "Archeologists study ancient cultures, and I am an archeologist, not that I would expect a brute like you to know the difference."
"Maybe Javik has disdain for species like me but Shepard seems to like primitive brutes just fine."
"Really?" Liara asked. "Because maybe if you actually were careful you wouldn't be losing her now and she wouldn't have lost-"
"Just, what the hell are you suggesting?" Garrus roared.
"I'm suggesting that she wouldn't be suffering from this kind of thing if it had been me. I wouldn't have been so careless!"
"Careless?" Garrus demanded.
"You didn't take any precautions, you just let your hormones get the best of you and-"
"We couldn't have known!" Garrus shouted.
"We would have known." she spat back. "I would have controlled when it happened, if it happened. She never would've had all that thrown on her plate at once."
Garrus could feel his heart pounding with rage. He wanted to pull a trigger. Badly.
"You're the one who told us that's probably the only reason she survived." He said through gritted teeth. "So maybe my great sin, my carelessness, is the only reason we still have her."
That shut her up for a moment, although the asari was still clearly fuming silently. He could feel everything in the air - the room - it was like things were electrically charged; like something might move at any moment. Classic telltale of an angry biotic.
She was breathing fast. "You were so willing to let her run in and save the day - to be the one to do everything."
All the heat went out of his anger.
Ready? Willing?
"I have never hated anything more in my life." He said quietly. He could still feel the rage and pain and fear from being on the Crucible. He didn't think it was ever going to leave him.
"You're entire life?" Liara taunted. "Oh, your entire short life - you stupid, imature-"
"Oh, so you would have stopped her? You were there - why didn't you try and-"
"I DID TRY." the asari yelled, and this time her biotics flared to life, sending a row of practice targets tumbling to the floor. "Why did you think I told her about the baby there - then, in the middle of all that destruction, when things were so dire?" She glared at him "Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I would just drop that on her out of nowhere?" she scoffed in disgust of the answer plain on his face. "No. You narrow-minded reptile. I thought… when she wouldn't choose herself, when she hadn't chosen herself when the Collectors attacked the Normandy; the first time she-" Liara struggled to continue, tears of pain and rage glinting at the edge of those blue eyes, "- when she chose you." she spat the word as if it was something filthy. "I thought - if she thought she would lose something so precious to you, then maybe, just maybe I could stop her from... that maybe there would be a different way." The asari was crying in earnest now "That I wouldn't…"
His anger vanished as he beheld her pain. It was clear he and Shepard weren't the only ones carrying trauma from that day. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around the now shaking asari. He knew he wasn't the person or comfort she wanted but he couldn't do anything else.
"I thought it would stop her." Liara breathed into his armor.
"I know." He said softly. "But nothing does."
Shepard rolled over and pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. Spitting blood into the dark sands. She wiped her mouth as she got to her feet and faced Javik again. He grinned. "Good", he said. "You are getting quicker at confronting your fears."
"I think my face is spending a little too much time confronting your right hook, though." She said, rubbing her cheek. That one was going to leave a mark.
"That is immaterial for now." Said Javik. "Your body does not usually have trouble protecting you, and this will be much easier when your mind does not become paralized. A predator wins when the prey's fear reaches the point that they can no longer listen to their natural wisdom. This is what we must work on."
"I would have thought protheans weren't primitive enough to think of themselves as prey." Shepard said.
Javik chuckled. "My people were great, and may have been the dominant civilization, but we were by no means the biggest and scariest creatures in our cycle. We knew our place and knew when to run. That is how we lived long enough to evolve to become all we were." He cocked his head at Shepard and she tensed. "Just as you, my human friend, really need to learn when to block." With the last word he exploded into motion and landed a touch on Shepard's ribs before she could do more than begin to step back.
There was sand beneath her feet and Rannoch's bright sun heated the air around her. Casting long shadows from the fallen behemoth before her. She was on Rannoch's northern hemisphere where she had downed her third Reaper. Her spine tingled as she remembered the blasts that had fired from the eye-like cannon at its heart. "It is good to see you, Shepard." said a quick, slightly high-pitched voice behind her.
"Mordin." She said, her voice hitching as she turned and saw her fallen salarian friend standing behind her. Mordin smiled, but gazed around him rather than at her: as usual, fascinated by new information like a new puzzle. "Interesting," he said. "Never been to quarian home planet. Thought it was inefficient use of time as native lifeforms could no longer habitat. Also believed it to be heavily controlled by geth. Fascinating that geth created so few structures on the surface, much more focused on base in orbit. Perhaps more efficient for accessing other planets and areas in space? Food and nutrients unnecessary for synthetic life. Makes most aspects of terrestrial life unnecessary and inefficient. Easier to build large complex structures without gravity. Vacuum of space eliminates need for cooling functions in computers. Should have asked Legion."
Shepard smiled. "I miss you." she said softly.
Mordin glanced at Shepard. "I share similar sentiments. Ironic that quarians lost homeworld to race that did not need or use it. Glad you were able to balance things again, Shepard. Impressive destruction of this Reaper as well. However, would have made fascinating study of organic and synthetic integration if kept alive."
"Yeah," Shepard shook her head. "I think that would have been a little difficult." She added sadly, "And you were already gone."
"True. Got excited. Forgot about that. Intriguing that it is possible." Mordin said. He stared at her. "You are different, Shepard."
Shepard extended a hand and gazed at the strands that ran across it. "Yeah… just a little." she said quietly.
"I am not merely referring to your bio-synthetic transformation or your significant additional scarring." He said. "Although, does look intriguing. Curious if it consists of primarily synthetic or organic materials. Visually, strands resemble neural networks."
"Do you know what they are?" The moment she asked the question she felt stupid. But… the strands made her feel alien and anyone who had examined her had been at a loss to help her understand what they were. In all the galaxy, Mordin would have been who she would have turned to. Mordin surely would have been the person crazy and brilliant enough to have an idea what they were.
"No, Shepard… sorry." he said softly. "And, unfortunately, I do not believe our interfacing here will have necessary supplies for testing and diagnostic studies." Shepard tried to remain focused on seeing him again, even in this strange way, rather than the rush of disappointment. "In any case," Mordin continued. "Physical transformation not what I was referring to." He frowned at her. "Evidence suggests you are lost, Shepard." His voice tinged with a harshness she had never heard from him.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Always respected you, Shepard." He said. "Good friend, respect scientific approach. Understand making difficult decisions with information you have currently available. Unafraid to take responsibility rather than be paralized by indecision. Your decision perplexes and frustrates me for these reasons."
"What decision?" Shepard asked, shifting uncomfortably.
"Difficult choices were given to you. Understand you were coping with physical trauma at the time as well. However, success rates and implications of available options for utilizing the Crucible were made very clear." He took a deep breath, his frown deepening. "I fail to understand your choice because of this."
Shepard paused. She stared at him, weighing her next words. "I wasn't going to force a change on people." She said softly. "I thought after everything that happened with the genophage you would understand that."
Mordin snorted and crossed his arms. "You reference genophage. Low blow, Shepard."
"No," She said, genuinely distressed, "I meant you undid that change."
"But stood by decision at the time based on available data." He countered. "In any case, your decision different than genophage. Crucible made it clear that peace was possible through Synthesis. That Synthesis was eventuality and necessary for actual maintenance of peace. Would ensure certain," he took a deep breath, "sacrifices were not wasted. Yet you chose to abandon pathway."
"I found another way."
"For now. What about long term?"
She shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know. We just have to try our best."
"Our best." Mordin said, "Many gave 'their best' already. Frustrated, Shepard. You have chosen uncertainty. Thought you would have been able to make hard choice. Ensure sacrifice we… sacrifice I made - not in vain." He blinked at her. "Disappointed, Shepard."
Shepard's chest was tight.
"Shepard Commander." she heard someone else say. She turned slightly to the left and saw that, somehow, Legion had appeared as well.
"Legion." she whispered. Her eyes were stinging.
"My people." He said, looking around him as if he could see the other geth now living on Rannoch with the quarians. Perhaps through their network he could somehow. "I fear for the geth, Shepard Commander."
"It's ok." she said. "What you did worked, they have individuality now. And there is peace between them and the quarians.
"For now." Said Legion. "Synthetics and organics are still significantly different. Population of those that are truly both… is limited to you. Admiral Xen still views us as subservient entities. This mindset cannot be limited to only her."
"I'm watching her." Shepard said darkly. Wind began to blow across Rannoch's plains, blowing clouds of sand and dust. "I am not going to let her do anything to the geth."
"Will you be remaining on Rannoch indefinitely?" Legion asked. Mordin coughed pointedly. Looking from Legion to her. Shepard shifted uncomfortably. "What will happen when your lifecycle is ended? Humans have insignificant life spans comparative to geth consciousness. Organic races prove to be forgetful. Who will guard my people when you are dead, Shepard Commander?"
"I-" Shepard began. But Mordin interrupted her.
"What is to stop conflict between synthetics and organics? Why did you throw away possibility of lasting peace?"
"I couldn't live with doing that to everyone!" she snapped. She squinted into the wind and sand, eyes watering.
Mordin looked hurt. "Some of us, Shepard, didn't have the option to live with our choices." he said softly.
The wind was beginning to howl now. The dust was everywhere, in her lungs and eyes. Shepard was breathing hard. "I didn't know I would survive making the link with EDI." She gasped.
"But you wanted to." Said Legion. "It was one of your desires when you were searching for alternatives. While you took time to search for alternatives. Three hundred and seventy nine geth lost functionality in fighting the Reapers while you tried to find another path. Their individual consciousness was not retained. That data was lost."
"I'm sorry to hear that." She said. "But of course I wanted to live. We all wanted to live."
"But some," Mordin said, "Were willing to quickly make hard choices to ensure best case survival for others. You were not."
She couldn't tell if her heart was pounding from her labored breaths or the mounting panic building in her chest. Her head was spinning. She tried desperately to get air into her lungs but she couldn't. It was like she was underwater. Like sand had filled the stupid useless weak lungs in her body. The body that didn't deserve to survive.
"You have fought with those closest to you." Mordin hissed.
"You do not want to take my people's case to the Council." said Legion.
"No," Shepard gasped, "I want to, I just, I'm just tired." She was coughing now, her head spinning.
"Others should be so lucky, to be alive, to be tired." Mordin said. Mordin's eyes shone. "Thought you would have understood, Shepard. Thought you would have seen... it had to be you. Someone else might have gotten it wrong."
Shepard's biotics were whipping around her, creating a maelstrom of glowing sand within the circle of torches Javik had erected. Javik shielded his face with a hand, squinting through the billowing sands around the young woman before him. "Shepard!" he called, but the howling winds created by her biotics drowned out his voice. She lay in the heart of the whipping winds, body thrashing, the strands blazing with that strange green light. No vision had held her this long. It usually took her a few seconds, maybe a minute to fight her way past the visions he made her confront. "Fight it, Shepard." he yelled. But the prothean was beginning to worry that his words were not reaching her.
He sent out a blast of his own biotics, creating a wall of solid air cutting through the raging winds, parting the crashing waves of sand, and rushed towards Shepard. He felt her biotics slam into his, and to his shock, his shield nearly buckled under the onslaught. It was wrong.
Shepard had impressive biotics for a human. He had fought beside her, seen her use them to turn the tide of a battle, but they were nothing like the powers that Samara or the strange human Jack possessed. But that blow… a strike of that power. That should have been beyond her capabilities. He could feel her power crackling along his own; pressing, searching for weakness, pushing for a breach. He shoved her biotics back as he neared her form, shifting and contracting them to form a small bubble around the two of them. A heartbeat later he felt Shepard's power tearing into his shields once again. "I am trying to help you, idiot." He hissed, kneeling before her.
She was flailing on the sand, head arched back, mouth gaping open, not breathing. Javik struck her abdomen quickly just below where an asari solar-plexus would be. Had her airway somehow become blocked? His efforts seemed to have done nothing. He growled in frustration, placed his hands on her chest and began pressing as he had seen human soldiers and medics do at the battle for Earth. "Shepard!" he yelled as he pressed. "You cannot surrender to what you are seeing. You cannot let it paralyze you. You must fight. You must return, Commanda'!"
It wasn't working. He was unsure how long human brain function could be sustained without oxygen. They were not an aquatic species and did not seem to have any specialty breathing physiology, so he feared they did not last long.
A horn-like noise cut through the raging winds. Javik looked up, and saw a dark form against the starry sky. The meager light of the torches glinted off an enormous column of black that was sweeping forwards from the waters and beginning to crash through the sands of the beach. Echo had landed before them for some reason. He stared in confusion up at the Ascendant. Another horn-like cry rent the air, almost like a summons. Without thinking, Javik swept Shepard into his arms and began sprinting for Echo's mammoth form. He splashed into the shallows of the quiet bay waters as he reached the base of Echo's towering form. He crouched and lowered Shepard so that she was sitting in the ebbing and flowing shallows, her back pressed to the base of the Ascendent. In the instant her body made contact with Echo there was a flash of green light and the spiraling pattern of light began to creep up the Ascendant's form. It grew and spread a few meters, then the intensity of the blaze grew, and with a flash the light began to disappear, shrinking back towards Shepard until it vanished within her. With a gasp of breath, she opened her eyes.
Shepard coughed between gasps of air and then tumbled to her hands and knees, retching into the shallows. When she'd finished, Javik gently leaned her back against Echo. She was still glowing slightly. The windstorm of her biotics had vanished the moment she could breathe again. Javik could hear waves crashing on the far side of Echo's bulk, but the shallow waters around him and Shepard were quiet. The occasional small rippling wave found its way around the side of the massive Ascendant, making the reflected light from Shepard's strands dance.
Shepard looked at Javik. "Sorry." she croaked.
Javik snorted. "You got some sand in my eyes." He said with a shrug. "I am not the one who stopped breathing." He allowed himself to drop into a sitting position with a splash that made Shepard squawk and begin to cough again. He, too, leaned back against Echo. The Ascendant let out a low rumble and he placed a hand against it in acknowledgement. They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the sigh of the water and the scratch of Shepard's breath.
"You had been doing well." Javik said. "And you said you thought you fought out of the dream last night." He shifted his head, the two eyes on his left searching her expression. "What could you not face this time?"
Shepard did not answer.
"What did you see, Commanda'?" he asked.
"My friends." She whispered, unable to look at him. "The friends I failed." She took a deep breath. "How am I supposed to fight them, master prothean?" She asked, eyebrows raising slightly.
Javik gazed up at the sky. Rannoch's atmosphere was still untouched and Legion emitted so little light that the heavens had no competition, especially now that Shepard's blazing light had dimmed to a soft glow. He did not remember skies like this one in his time. The only memories of his home world were full of fire, death and the pressing Reapers. Each outpost he and his soldiers had been assigned to had been heavily developed generations before he was born. Narat, Rannoch's larger moon, was dark tonight and its smaller sister Tis'kia had not yet risen. The number and brilliance of stars blazing without equal in the night was almost overwhelming. He couldn't help but wonder - would protheans have become the conquerors they had been if they could still behold the sky this way, even when they were capable of such marvels as space flight?
The skies he had seen had been grainy and dark, only a few stars peaking through; only those bright enough to compete with the brilliance of the cities the protheans had built. When he was young it was easy to look up at the handful of stars and believe that they could all be his. That they should be part of the empire he served. That their world should encompass all they could see. But now, gazing at the endless ranks of systems before him, he felt that conquering pride quake, humbled by the massive vault of the heavens. He was the Avatar of Vengeance, but he wondered: what else might he have been if he had grown up under these stars? What might his people have become if he had not failed them?
"I cannot teach you how to fight those you have lost, those who's oaths you have broken." He said, and added softly. "I have not learned myself."
"You have broken no oath." Shepard said gently. "The Reapers, the Conduit… they're gone." The last words were spoken with such force that Javik knew even she did not really believe them. "You have your vengeance."
"Shepard," Javik began, each word full of discomfort. "What you saw earlier… I..." his voice broke, and he hated himself for it. "I am frustrated and… afraid." He took a deep breath. "I have linked to each Ascendant on Rannoch I have been able to find. Sentinel has been able to connect to some Ascendent on other planets as well, but… I… I cannot find my people." He could not bring himself to look at her as he asked. "Can you see them? Can you feel them?"
Shepard was quiet for a moment and then said. "I haven't asked Echo about them."
"But when you go… wherever you go. Are they there?"
"I don't know," she said. "I don't really know what happens. There's just light, sound, and wind or there's whatever nightmare I'm in.." She leaned her head back, staring up at Echo. "This time there wasn't anything but wind and… my friends, and then I heard Echo cry and felt… talons on my brain." He saw her rubbing at the still-glowing strands on the back of one hand, as if it was a bit of dirt or a temporary mark she could brush away. "I sound crazy." she whispered, then shook her head. "But there are no other consciousnesses… just monsters and me."
"Liara told me about the Collectors." Javik said. "She showed me what they looked like. We faced those corrupted versions of our people in my time. I was glad that you destroyed the last of them. Gave my people peace. I slaughtered hundreds personally. But now... now I would kill to find one alive. To see if I could communicate with it. To see if somehow an ember of who my people were remained."
"You should go to whatever is left of Cronos station and the Collector base. The Ascendent seem to be more tech than organic. Maybe some of what was left after the wave of radiation has a trace of them now that their consciousnesses are free. Maybe something survived."
Javik hadn't considered this option. Reapers treated organics as pawns and materials indiscriminately. The Echo, from what they could tell, looked nothing like the Reaper shell in which their consciousness resided, yet they were there. Could the last voices of his people be out there somewhere in an abandoned Cerberus lab or locker of reclaimed debris? He hated to admit it but the idea of seeing a ship that had been controlled by the twisted monstrosities that were the Collectors filled him with some trepidation.
He must have been showing some of his thoughts because he heard Shepard breathe. "I'll go with you." Her green eyes, still slightly luminous from before, met his own. Her face was painted with bruises, fresh and fading - mostly from him. The slowly healing scratches on her face were dark against the silver of her older scars. She was a mess, but her gaze was calm. The expression of someone who had seen many horrors and would calmly walk into them again to make sure others did not face them alone.
His cycle would have thought her inept. She would never have attained her current rank in his military. But he had seen the loyalty and respect her spirit had earned her. He'd felt it firsthand. After everything she'd done, he hadn't hesitated at her order to watch Admiral Xen. Following her felt right in his core in a way he could not remember from his cycle. Had they failed because they lacked leaders like this frail human? "We can take the Normandy and search for them." She added.
"You must fight for the geth and Ascendant." He replied. "Finding my people will not matter if they have no place in this world."
She frowned slightly. "Then I'll come join you once I make the Council listen." She said. "If they're out there, we'll find them." Something had changed in her. The doubt was gone. There was an intoxicating spark in her eyes. She looked out at the stars, squinting slightly, as if by doing so she could make out remnants of prothean life hiding behind their light. She spoke with such certainty that he couldn't help but believe her. "We'll find them and we'll bring them home."
Garrus stood with his eyes closed listening to the thrum of the engines. He told himself he had come here wondering if he would find Shepard curled up asleep in the corner, but it was a lie. He'd come here for himself. He was exhausted and the sound was growing on him. Then there was the fact that the room… well, it smelled like her now. There was a little sting of scared Shepard in the air, but it was mostly just her. With his eyes closed he could pretend she was here.
"You look like shit." someone said softly.
Garrus eyes flashed open. Her full lips twitched. Green eyes shining. She leaned against the door to the engine room, hands behind her back, watching him. "Worn out from eating all the food on Rannoch?" She teased gently. Her posture was relaxed but he could hear her elevated heartbeat. "If we don't get to Palaven soon, the quarians aren't going to have enough left for winter."
She'd said we.
Garrus crossed his arms and leaned against the control panel behind him. "Does that mean you and Javik are done playing in the sand?" He drawled.
"For now." She said, adding "I built the bigger sand-citadel." But there was a shadow behind the forced light in her eyes. "I have something for you," she said hesitantly. "As… as an apology."
"You don't need to-" he began, but she cut him off.
"No, I do. You… you were trying to help. I just. I got scared." She said quietly. "Anyway, I got you this." She pulled a bottle of a clear liquid from behind her back and pressed it into his hands. "Now hurry up and open it so we can start drinking."
He raised an eyebrow at her and unscrewed the top. The strong bite of spirits hit his nose. "Where the hell did you get this? The quarians won't have the grain to make something like this for weeks, much less the time to ferment it." He said.
Shepard grinned, shrugging. "I know it's not Archangel Vineyards," she said. "But I did convince Admiral Ra'an to show me the contraband liquor she made when she was younger. And part with a bottle." She shifted uncomfortably. "I know a gift should come without strings attached, but..." She stared up at him apologetically. "Admiral Ra'an said it's going to cost you a conversation with your father about Sentinel's seat on the council."
Garrus sniffed the bottle again and then faked a long suffering sigh. "I suppose it's worth it." He said. He offered her the bottle with a grin. "You drink first, though. That way I'll know that you really aren't mad at me anymore and it's not secretly poisoned."
She scowled at him. "It's not poisoned. But let's drink in my cabin, not here. That way we can just fall into bed instead of crawling back pretending that the commander of the Normandy isn't completely pissed drunk."
She had said we again.
"Alright." He said slowly, but still handed her the bottle. "You go and I'll catch up. I spent three hours in the shooting range. I smell like gunpowder right now."
"I don't mind." Shepard said slowly.
"Of course you don't." He said, trying to ignore the way her tone had quickened his pulse. "But humans' sense of smell is so bad you could sleep in a pile of Krogan dung without noticing. Go on. I'll be quick." She gave him a parting glare and began walking down the hall. He watched her hair swinging behind her and felt like he could breathe again for the first time in days.
A few minutes later the doors to Shepard's cabin hissed open and Garrus stepped inside. Shepard was sitting on the bed, armor gone, wearing the soft pants she liked to sleep in and a black and red hooded top that was ancient, torn, burned and had a few bullet holes in it. She put down the tablet she had been reading and frowned at the box in his hands.
"What's that?" She asked.
'You'll see." He said softly. He crossed the room and placed the box on the counter of the bar. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed and casually nodded to the box. "Go on. Open it." She slid off the end of the bed and approached the mysterious box.
"It better not explode or have something I need to shoot inside it." She said, eyeing the box distrustfully. "I'm exhausted from working with Javik."
"I promise." He said softly. She began opening it and he watched with bated breath. He was a little nervous. Shepard removed the lid and lifted a carefully wrapped object. She cautiously unwound the cloth around it, revealing shining green-blue glass. Her breath caught and she quickened her work, revealing a short drinking glass of bright color, silver script running around the rim. Her eyes were shining. And she looked up at him.
"How did you…" she breathed, unwrapping the slender pitcher next and placing it on the bar next to the first glass.
Garrus grinned. "Any sniper worth their salt is observant." She had unwrapped another glass and ran her finger along the rim. "It's actually the set you were watching the glass blower make." She stared at him in surprise. He shrugged, but searched her face and asked tentatively. "Do… do you like it?"
She set the eighth and final glass on the bar before her. The light from the stars outside danced on the glass and cast pools of green light on the countertop's surface. "I do." she said softly. She took the bottle of Admiral Ra'an's contraband booze and poured a healthy measure into two of the glasses, offering him one. He took it carefully.
Shepard raised her glass to him and said, "I drink to my friend at my side and…" but she trailed off and then raised the glass, draining it completely. Garrus took a sip as well. It was strong stuff. He repressed a cough and marveled at the tiny titan who poured herself another glass and took a hearty sip without flinching.
She held the glass to her chest, staring out at the night sky. "Do you know that Mordin gave me advice on turian-human relations before that first night…" she said, smiling slightly.
Garrus coughed and not from the strong spirits he was sipping. Shepard chuckled. "And did you follow some of his advice?" He asked.
She grinned and stepped back to the bed, sitting on the edge, nursing her drink. "I might be keeping up with a regimen of antihistamines."
He considered her. "Do you wanna know a secret?" he said. She squinted at him slightly. His lip twitched at her unspoken sign to continue. He let out a long breath. "I was scared shitless." He said. "It was way more intimidating than heading into the Collector base. I just…" he gazed at her. The bruises on her face, the scars and strands bright in the starlight, and those eyes. "I just wanted something to go right. Just once. Just…"
But the Commander pulled him onto the bed and silenced him with a kiss.
Shepard lay with her head resting on Garrus' chest. In just a few hours they would be landing on the Collector base. She supposed she should be worried about that. But her mind was completely occupied with the possibilities of other strategic moves.
She closed her eyes as she felt the talon on one of his fingers trace its way down her back and lower. Her body tingled in response. They had finished the last of the wine ages ago, it seemed. Exploring, and at times hungry kisses, punctuating their rather long swigs of wine. It wasn't bad stuff. She had taken dextro histamines hours ago at Mordin's teasing suggestion so she could enjoy the same drink and… other things. Her humanoid flesh was more likely to have adverse reactions to their recreation than his scaly hide.
His mouth had been surprisingly soft. The scales below his nose were impossibly small, a bit like snake skin. She had been wary of his teeth at first but had learned that feeling them gently scrape the skin of her neck sent a thrill down her spine. He was maddeningly gentle. After a particularly light, slow exchange he pulled back a little, chuckling softly.
"What?" She panted. She wasn't sure when she had started breathing heavily.
"I ... I can hear, and feel, your heart beating really really fast, Shepard." His smirk shifted to a look of true concern. "Are - are you ok? Do you need to stop, or...?"
"What? No, definitely not." she said. God no she didn't want him to stop. Not now ... maybe not ever ...
"So, it's not a bad thing? It's just ... " he paused. "Usually if I'm this close to something with a heartbeat that rapid, it's about to die ..."
She snorted. "I'm glad you think so much of yourself. But, no. I'm not about to die. It's a good sign in humans." She wanted him bad. The gentleness had been delicious but she wanted more. "And you can stop being so careful." She said, shifting in his lap so that she was straddling him now, looking down at him ever so slightly. God turians were tall. "I'm Commander Shepard, remember? I would have thought you'd fought with me enough by now to know ..." she leaned in, her lips hovering beside his left ear, and breathed, "I like it a little rough." He growled. Well I guess that move works on turians as well.
She pulled back and began kissing him passionately, throwing caution to the wind. His tongue brushed against hers, sending shivers down her spine. His tongue. Oh, God his tongue. It was long and pointed and the tiniest bit rough. She was very curious to see if she could talk him into seeing what he could do with it. She wasn't sure how that would go over with turian culture, however.
The interplay of their lips was endless. He tasted sweet and rich. It was easy to lose herself in kissing him. She definitely hadn't needed the wine to want to do more.
Now, as they lay on the bed however, her body calling out for access to more of his, she was glad of the slight haze of the wine, because she was still a smidge nervous. A talon once again snaked down her spine.
"I'm surprised the fleshy aliens around you turians aren't full of slashes and holes with those talons" she mused.
His soft laugh rumbled in her ear. She could feel he'd turned his head, his hot breath now stirring her hair slightly. "The really sharp part is sheathable"' he said, lifting his other hand for her to see, and sure enough, from a hairline crevice in his talon, a razor sharp edge emerged.
"Well, that's not fair." she said. "I can only do that if I have an omni-blade."
"It's not that special." He said, "I think you have far more fascinating features."
"... like what?
He laughed again. "Well, from what I've seen so far..." he paused and ran a talon down her jacket again. She'd never hated a garment for its mere existence more in her life. "I am amazed by how hot human's mouths are… I literally mean temperature wise. And… I'm honestly fascinated by your hair." He stroked it. "It's like catching the wind in your hands."
She took the hand he'd shown her in her own, stroking and inspecting it gently. He unsheathed a talon again and ran her finger along the edge. She could feel that the barest pressure would have it splitting skin. She chuckled softly to herself. "These are handy. You can give me a haircut if fighting the Reapers takes too long. Especially since you like playing with it that much." He laughed again.
It was easy, being with him. Lying in his arms, she felt like she'd finally removed her helmet on a stable-atmosphere planet. She considered the talon again. "So ... can this cut through clothing?" she whispered.
Ok, now she could definitely hear his heart beating faster. "We can find out… if that's something you think you would like."
They lay on the bed. Their breath ragged at this point. "You are an incredible little species." Garrus rumbled.
"Really?" she asked. "Your species, I am quickly learning, has many unsung virtues. Starting with that wicked thing in your mouth." He chuckled and she continued. "But what's so special about us?"
"Well…" he said softly, winding a tendril of her hair around his finger, "I will reiterate my infatuation with your hair and I am delighted by it's… other primary location." She chuckled, and he continued. "You are pretty small, completely vulnerable, you have none of your own armor, you are very soft" he said, drawing a finger down her neck. She shivered. "And yet you run around causing so much trouble. I don't understand how any of you stay in one piece. No wonder you wear your armor so much."
Moria propped herself up on her elbows, scowling. "Ok, every race needs armor for bullets and stuff. But we're not so soft. We can take a blow or two. We do alright in unarmed combat."
"Oh sure you do." He pushed himself up and leaned further out over her. "Although Commander, if you're so good at that, why have you let yourself be caught on your back like this?" In a flash Shepard wrapped her legs around the turian, knocked one of his arms out from under him and, with a twist, rolled the two of them diagonally across the bed, landing on top of him with her forearm against his windpipe. They were both breathing heavily again, though the move had not been strenuous. Shepard's hair had cascaded forward and was gently tickling his cheek.
"You're cocky, Vakarian," she said."But I've had you right where I wanted you this whole time…"
"Hot," he croaked, "But not fair. I didn't realize things would be getting that kind of physical."
She released his windpipe, slid off him and went to take a sip of water from a glass at the bar. "I guess big armored turians can be lazy," she teased, "but us delicate humans have to be ready for anything."
He pushed himself up on his elbows and gave her a lingering look from the bed. The moonlight danced on his silver hide, his scales refracting the starlight. The interplay of light and shadows brought out his muscular form. She took another sip of water but her mouth still felt dry. "There are only a few parts of you I would ever describe as delicate, Shepard," he drawled, "and they would only be delicate in flavor." Ok… her knees did go a little weak at that. She tried to hide her blushing in another sip of water.
He pushed himself up from the bed and walked to the empty space in the room at its foot. "How 'bout a rematch? You got the jump on me that time." he said, stretching his neck. "But, I wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I didn't offer the lady a dance."
She left the glass on the bar and silently walked forwards, coming extremely close to him. Close enough to feel his breath on her face, their noses almost touching. "Oh?" she breathed, "And you think the lady likes to dance?"
He smirked. "I know you, Shepard." he breathed. The smell of him was intoxicating. "I know you can't resist an opportunity to show off."
In a flash, her eyes never leaving his, she brought a blow with the back of her right hand to his solar plexus. He caught it in one hand, his eyes ever locked on hers. And grinned. Oh, he had it coming now. Shepard used his hold on her to throw him behind her and then spun, pressing him towards the wall with a series of blows. Each of these he caught or deflected, then returned the volley, the long reach of his arms causing her to need to duck, dash beneath his arms and reverse the direction of their exchange. He was nearing the wall and she saw an opening in his form. She purposely began to leave her left side open. He saw the vulnerability and aimed a low punch, right into her trap. Simultaneously she brought a roundhouse kick with her right foot towards his left jaw. She grinned, anticipating the impact- but he caught her foot several inches from his face with his right arm. They remained frozen in that position for a few moments, both breathing heavily. Garrus' back was against the wall and she was balanced on one leg, the other still in his grasp.
He grinned at her and, with an infuriating, self satisfied shrug, said, "Reach."
She grinned right back, then watched his eyes widen and mouth fall open as she leaned into the split her legs had already begun. She eased forward till her right leg was nearly in line with his torso, their faces now only a fraction of an inch from each other. She ran a finger over his bottom lip and breathed. "Flexibility..."
"Spirits, woman." He growled. He scooped her up in his arms.
Garrus watched the rise and fall of Shepard's chest. Her red hair gleamed in the soft light. The green of the Ta'hal she'd discarded on the bedside table behind her offset the richness of her hair. He tried not to be troubled by the bruises across her face and fresh ones across her chest. She'd told him about seeing Mordin and Legion in her visions. Not being able to breathe and Javik's handling of the situation. Garrus didn't understand why Echo had been able to bring her back when nothing else did, but he now owed a Reaper a debt of gratitude, which seemed deeply ironic.
But she was breathing now. A few strands of hair had fallen across her face and one danced in the ebb and flow of air from her nose. Her nose twitched as the hair tickled it. Garrus carefully reached out and brushed the hair back from her face, hoping not to wake her, although she had consumed a significant portion of his bottle of quarian booze, so he was pretty sure she would be sleeping soundly for a while. Damn. He'd forgotten to look for a barrette on Rannoch.
He heard something shift outside her cabin door. His head whipped around and he stared at the door, his breath shifting to a silent controlled flow as his adrenaline spiked. Something outside the door shifted its weight again. He took a long breath, testing the air. Human sweat, turian sweat, alcohol, sand, Shepard's shampoo, the burn on her hoodie, and yes, faint but there: asari. He let out an exasperated huff of air and lay back on the bed. He heard the floor of the corridor shift again and the additional scent faded. He felt emotionally torn. He was genuinely sorry for Liara but also extremely glad to be lying here once again.
He looked back at Shepard and found those brilliant green eyes squinting at him. "What was that?" she breathed, sounding sleepy.
"Nothing." He murmured, leaning forward and pressing a kiss into her hair. "Just someone passing in the hall. Go back to sleep."
She yawned but rolled to face him. "No. There's something I need to talk to you about." She said. "We need to leave Rannoch and go to Palaven. I need turian support if I'm going to take Sentinel's case to the Council… and there's a lot that needs to happen after that."
Garrus nodded. "We'll get Sparatus to listen." He said firmly. "He'll support you or he'll have an angry boyfriend with a sniper rifle to worry about."
Shepard grinned.
"Are you ready to leave Rannoch, though?" Garrus asked. "You haven't been working with Javik very long. Not that I don't consider you to be a quick study."
Shepard nodded. "Javik said I have the 'traumatic' aspect of the PTSD under control. But now I have to deal with balancing my 'fear and biotics' or something. Point is, he said he couldn't actually help me with that. He said whatever happened on the Crucible awoke my biotics in a way they weren't before. But he doesn't know how to deal with that."
"Sounds like you need to hang out with one of your biotic monstrosity friends." He said thoughtfully. He frowned and his eyes flicked to her. "Please not Jack." He said quickly. "She's… not as psychotic as she was before. But I have never been convinced that she has anything 'under control.' One soldier to another, I don't think she would be the best person to train under, and boyfriend to Commander Shepard, please don't make me share the ship with that livewire again."
"Ahhh," Shepard wined. "But Eezo is so fun!"
Garrus scowled at her. "You would love a varren as a pet, wouldn't you?" His gaze roved over her. "Are you actually the smallest, least-scaled Krogan in the galaxy? All the rage and danger of a Krogan in a deceptively sexy package?" He scratched a mandible. "That would explain a lot. Why my scars work so well on you…"
"Careful, Vakarian." She growled. "Keep down this path and you're asking for a headbutt and an ass kicking."
He groaned. "Great, I really have started dating a Krogan. What the hell is my mother going to say?" He gave a mock exasperated sigh. "Guess I'm out of the will."
Shepard snorted. "I'll see if I can get Traynor to track down Samara."
"My un-varren-chewed up armor and guns thank you." He gazed at the ceiling. "So on to Palaven, then?"
Shepard shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "Yeah. Speaking of which… since your family is there..."
"We would obviously expect you to prioritize talking to Sparatus, but it might be easier if we have my father request the meeting with him. Turian politics are… rigid. Using the chain of command to get his attention might make him more amenable."
"That's fortunate." she said. "But I wouldn't have had you wait longer to see your family. Just… before you do. I feel like I have to ask… if you're sure about this."
Garrus frowned. "Sure about what?"
"About me." Garrus opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off. "Just listen, ok? One: I'm a human. Our species doesn't exactly have the best track record. Two: I don't even understand what's happening to me and… it shouldn't be something that you get dragged into. You're not Alliance. There is no reason you have to be part of any of this."
"And what if I want to?" he demanded.
"Then… well. Then you just have to know that this is new and I don't know what I'm doing. I…" He could hear her heart beating rapidly again, see the tension in her body. "I've never wanted anything as much as I've wanted you…" She said. "You make me… you make me really worried about getting shot." she said. Her eyes wide, boring into his, the idea clearly alarming to her. "I wasn't particularly worried about that until we got together. But," she added, eyes darkening. "There are things I have to do, and the list doesn't seem to be getting shorter." She held his gaze. "I just want you to be sure what you're getting into."
Garrus leaned forward and kissed her, long and slow. Then pulled back, "That's the good thing about snipers. We start scouting the terrain pretty far ahead, so we usually know what we're getting into. And I've outgrown C-Sec and the turian army. Going rogue with a twice dead, Reaper killing, ancient-alien-race-saving Spectre sounds like it will keep me sharp." He continued kissing her, whispering between the moments their lips met. "And… one: you're pretty great for a human, and I'm sure the rest of Palaven will see that. Two: whatever is happening to you saved my life, so I can take the growing pains till we figure it out. And... I stopped counting but I think three is next, three..." he pulled back, staring at her. He entwined his fingers in her hair and ran his thumb gently across her scarred and bruised cheek, losing himself in the deep green of her eyes. Eyes he trusted more than any others to see any shot or enemy that might slip past his guard. He whispered. "You make me not want to get shot, too."