The mission to retrieve Dr. Okeer, the krogan warlord, hadn't gone as smoothly as they had hoped. The Blue Suns mercenary group had taken control of Korlus, and were using Okeer to breed an army of battle-ready krogan clones. The Normandy ground team had fought their way through the mercs to find that their cloning plan was actively backfiring on them, as the krogan soldiers were fighting against their supposed masters. One surviving clone deliberately helped the squad take down a group of mercs before opening up a path forward.

Before they found Okeer, the team ran into Rana Thanoptis, an asari neurospecialist whom Shepard had allowed to escape from Saren's base on Virmire during their assault two years ago. This time, though, the Commander was not so merciful. He shot her in the head, claiming that he "didn't give third chances." Both Garrus and Tali voiced their opinions that this was rather harsh, but at that point it was too late. Shepard had given Rana a second chance, she had wasted it, and it was understandable that he wasn't keen on making the same mistake twice.

Okeer ended up dead, and though they couldn't save him, they were able to salvage a clone that he claimed was genetically perfect. Naturally, Shepard had released this clone from his tube in an effort to recruit him. The krogan predictably turned violent, but the Commander was able to talk him down. It certainly helped that he did so while holding a pistol to the clone's abdomen. The krogan dubbed himself "Grunt," claiming that the word had no meaning, making it perfect for him. He agreed to serve under Commander Shepard for the promise of plentiful bloodshed.

When Tali'Zorah heard about Shepard's endangerment, her short-lived panic attack told her that she couldn't wait any longer to confess to him. She was worried about his safety aboard his own ship. He hadn't really even been at risk- his biotics could easily have thwarted Grunt- and yet Tali found herself panicking that she might lose him again. On Korlus, she had needed to repeatedly remind herself to focus on the task at hand, and not on her Commander's skillful execution of the team's objectives.

In the short time she had spent aboard the Normandy, Tali had developed a borderline obsession with her feelings for Shepard. It was no longer a question of how he might react; it was a question of whether or not she would get the chance to say anything and see that reaction. Even if he rejected her, Tali knew she would feel better than if Shepard died again before she could tell him how she felt.

So when she asked to see him privately in his personal quarters, the young woman was prepared to accept rejection. Tali steeled herself against her fears, denying herself the luxury of second thoughts or backup plans as she rode the elevator up to Shepard's cabin. She had already established that she had to do this now; there was no turning back. No bailing out at the last second. He would learn how she felt, and he would tell her if he felt the same way.

"Be direct," Tali whispered to herself, "Don't give yourself time to back out."

The elevator door opened, and Tali stepped through to approach the door to Shepard's quarters. At that moment, she wished that there could have been just one door. That way, she would have less time to doubt herself and one less chance to talk herself out of this. It was strange; over the past two years, she had grown into a strong young woman compared to the naive quarian girl that Shepard had saved on the Citadel two years ago. And yet, somehow, Shepard made her feel like that helpless little bundle of nerves again. Tali had stared death in the face alongside him time and time again, and yet she was terrified of sitting down and talking with him.

But she had already committed herself to this. Tali took a deep breath, trying one last time to force herself to relax. Once again, she was met with minimal success, managing to focus her thoughts but failing to stop her heart from pounding in her chest like it was trying to escape. The door was already unlocked, so she opened it and stepped through. Shepard was seated at his desk, working at his personal terminal. He turned and smiled as she entered, finishing what he was doing before standing up and motioning for her to come in. Now there really was no going back.

Tali quickly joined him as he sat down on the couch. "So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" Shepard asked, leaning back in his seat.

"Y-yes," she answered, realizing that she hadn't thought of what she was going to say, "I've, um… since you came back… I-I-"

"Slow down, Tali," Shepard interrupted, leaning forward with a sympathetic expression, "Take a deep breath, calm down, and just say what you need to say. Don't worry about your exact wording."

His supportive action both calmed her and made her more nervous at the same time. Tali did as he suggested, once again taking a deep breath and assembling the words in her mind. "Two years ago, I thought that I had lost you forever. I cried myself to sleep nearly every night for almost two years. Now that you're back, and we're putting ourselves in danger again, I don't think that I can survive losing you again like that. I never got the chance to tell you then, and I'm not making the same mistake again."

"Tali, what are you getting at?"

"I've tried to think of how to say it at least a hundred times," Tali explained, hardly hearing him over the sound of blood rushing between her ears, "And I can never get it right. So I'm just going to say it: I love you, John."

There was a moment of silence as Shepard processed this confession. He stared intensely at the floor, his face devoid of emotion. Tali was shocked that her heart didn't give out with how hard it was hammering in her chest. She wanted to run, to disappear, but instead she remained still, silently waiting for Shepard's response. It was only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked, looking up at her, "Why didn't you tell me back then?"

"Because I was scared."

"Are you scared now?"

"Y-yes…"

Shepard moved beside her, pulling her to him with one muscular arm. "Well, don't be," he smiled gently, "Because I love you too, Tali. And if I really am the best that humanity has to offer like everyone says I am, then I can't think of anyone more deserving of the best that I have to offer."

Tali paused. "W-what?"

He chuckled, "A poet I am not! What I'm trying to say is that you're the best, most talented person that I know."

Now it was Tali who was silent for a moment. She looked up at Shepard with wide eyes, trembling slightly. Then the tears came, and she couldn't stop them if she had wanted to. Normally, she would do everything in her power to keep such outbursts to herself, but in that moment she felt like it was safe to cry. She hugged Shepard tightly, tucking herself into a ball against his chest as she cried quietly.

"Woah, what's with the waterworks?" He held her gently, unsure of what was going on. "Did I say something?"

"I-I was w-worried," Tali stammered as she began to recompose herself, "that I wasn't g-good enough for you. I thought-"

Shepard cut her off, "You've been talking to Miranda, haven't you?" Tali nodded. "I knew it. You may have been scared to let me know how you felt, but she's been on me like an overly-attached tick in a Cerberus-branded catsuit. I don't know what she thinks she'll accomplish by being a bitch to everyone."

"She's Cerberus," Tali said resentfully, sniffing as her short outburst came to an end, "Of course she would treat me like that. She thinks that she's better than everyone. At least Jacob tries to be polite."

"He's the only Cerberus agent that I can tolerate," Shepard agreed, "Later, I'm going to have a chat with Miranda. With my fists. I'd love to see her threaten you with a few teeth-"

It was Tali's turn to cut off Shepard, "No. She must have had her reasons, even if they probably weren't good ones. Seeing us together should be punishment enough for her."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? I could easily put her in Medical for at least a week."

"Then we get in trouble with the Illusive Man."

"Dammit. You're right."

Tali giggled, "Look at that! I'm already keeping you out of trouble."

"I expect that you'll need to get used to that; it's probably going to be a common occurrence."

"A small price to pay for you." Tali shifted so that she was once again sitting beside him. They remained locked in each other's embrace for a while, quickly losing track of time as they enjoyed the beginning of something special.

In the back of her mind, Tali knew that the galaxy would recoil at the idea of Commander Shepard falling in love with a quarian. There would be plenty of people who would cheer them on, but their voices would be heavily outnumbered. A few minutes ago, this thought might have caused Tali to have a nervous breakdown. Now, though, it excited her; there was nothing that those people could do to stop them. As much as she wanted to jump into love, it was clear that John was inclined to take it slowly. And if that meant she could call him hers, Tali was perfectly willing to do it this way.

A lot of emotions had cycled through her mind in such a short amount of time, and she was certain that Shepard was still processing that fact. In fact, she hadn't fully processed it yet herself. But that was fine; they were both happy, and that was the important thing. It was somewhat humorous that they both managed to fumble their way to this point, neither of them being very skilled communicators in such situations. That was probably why Tali's mood had been so erratic; a near-total inability to articulate those feelings in any other way.

When Tali eventually left Shepard's cabin and went back down to Engineering, she felt like she could take on the entire galaxy. She was able to focus on her work much more easily without her anxiety eating away at her, and she performed even the most mundane tasks with a new enthusiasm. When her thoughts did drift away from her work, they were far more pleasant. No longer did she have to constantly tell herself: " Stop worrying about it and focus." Now, she occasionally had to remind herself: " There will be time to daydream later!"

…

After their shift ended, Gabriella pulled Tali aside. "How did it go with Shepard?"

"What do you think?" Tali giggled, "I've never been happier!"

"That's awesome!" Gabby smiled, "Well, I have something I've been meaning to tell you. Apparently, Miranda was nasty to anyone she thought had a thing for Shepard. More than everyone else in the galaxy, that is. Anyway, I saw her give her little 'talk' to a couple of other people, and you know what? She was particularly nasty to you. I think it's at least partially because you're the only alien that she saw as a threat, at least as far as I know."

Tali's mood changed from elated to cautiously curious. "How big was the difference?"

"A lot," Gabby placed a hand on her shoulder, "There's no way it was just prejudice, Tali. Miranda has something against you specifically. Now that you and Shepard are together, I don't know what she'll do." She leaned in, lowering her voice, "It might be a good idea to keep a weapon at your workstation, or maybe even keep it with you. But I never would have expected this kind of hostility from Miranda before; at this point, I wouldn't put anything past her."

Tali thanked her friend for the warning, then they both rode the elevator up to the crew quarters to turn in for the night. She hadn't paid much attention to it before, but now Tali was glad that Miranda slept elsewhere. Today seemed to be full of such observations. While part of her was nervous from Gabby's warning, Tali found herself oddly calm. Before, she knew that Miranda would face Shepard's wrath if she tried to hurt her. Now, though, the quarian felt safe in the knowledge that, should Miranda be foolish enough to try anything, Shepard would be out for blood.

Somehow, the thought of Shepard's violent nature comforted her.

A/N: Howdy everyone! I'm about to hit you with a lot of talking, so if you want to skip the long-winded and emotional stuff, skip to the paragraph starting with "To recap."

Let me say first that I still fully intend on continuing Tali-path until completion. I said last time that it would take a while… but this took longer than I expected. And as much as I hate to say it: this is probably the new norm for Tali-path. I can't overstate how painful it is to do this to you all, but I want to be totally transparent so that everyone knows what's going on over on my end and why things are playing out the way they are.

I'm not proud of how long it took me to write this chapter. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, but there's only so much that I can do. For me, writing is based on inspiration and motivation, and I haven't had the energy for much of either when it comes to Tali-path. Make no mistake; I do still have moments of inspiration, and when I do, I make sure to harness it. But those moments seem few and far between nowadays. I write for fun, so if I'm not having fun writing a story, I don't try to write it. I do find Tali-path fun to write when I'm in the mood, but once again, that's a lot less often than I'd like. And I never find writing fun if I force myself to write.

If I force myself to write, I may get more chapters out sooner, yes, but the quality will drop steeply. And goodness knows that my quality isn't good enough to afford a hit like that. But beyond that, I also want to give you as the reader the best experience possible, which I can only really achieve by not forcing myself to write and waiting for those times when I'm motivated. What I'm saying is that things are super slow because I'd rather produce a few good chapters than a bunch of half-assed chapters in the same amount of time.

Of course, I expect that you already guessed this. The problem is that the aforementioned amount of time is… not favorable. It took two and a half months to get the last chapter out, and this one took even longer. And I hate that so much, since I said that wouldn't happen. Rest assured that I'm still not putting Tali-path on hiatus again, but I honestly can't realistically make promises as to timing anymore. It might be another two and a half months until the next chapter, or it may be more. I hate admitting that, but it's not fair for me to tell you anything but the truth.

I should also explain that my interests tend to come and go. I'm not as involved with Mass Effect as I was when I started this story, but that doesn't mean I've stopped liking it. I also predict that I'll eventually get hooked again, but I can't say when that will be. Honestly, if I was just writing this story for myself, I would probably abandon it. But I'm not; I have all of you who enjoy reading Tali-path, and it's your continued patience and enjoyment that I keep writing for. I don't want to let you down by jumping ship like that, even if I'm sailing against the wind. And like I said, I do still enjoy writing Tali-path, but your enjoyment is what ensures that I'll never stop until it's done.

I have no idea how long these chapters will take anymore. And if you don't want to put up with multiple months of waiting between chapters, I won't blame you for leaving. I know how frustrating that can be, but I have to do this. Between sheer lack of energy, and constant anxiety that's caused by my own lack of personal care, my mental health has been on the decline. Which, in turn, further drains my energy and makes the problem worse. I'm not looking for anyone's pity; I haven't been taking care of myself, and that's no one's fault but mine. And it's my responsibility to fix it. My hope is that, by giving myself more time to write these chapters, I can relieve my anxiety and establish a proper workflow, then go back to tighter deadlines.

Once again: I am not putting this story on hiatus again. I'm not making any time commitments because I care about Tali-path and all of you who read it, and I don't want to set myself up for failure by making promises that I can't keep. I'm sure that you can understand why it would destroy my mental health to repeatedly let you down like that. And if that happens, we start on that downward spiral again. I'm being so thorough in justifying this because I know that there are people out there who make claims like this just as an excuse to be lazy or avoid criticism, and I want to make it clear that I'm not doing that. It's my fault that I didn't take care of myself, meaning that I'm at fault for this story's lack of progress by extent. So by all means: you'd be justified in berating me for my lack of foresight and frustrating solution. The reason I say this is because I would probably be quite irked in your position.

A couple of you have reached out to me about my radio silence, and I have yet to speak to anyone who wasn't polite and understanding. As of yet, no one has blamed me for anything or tried to put me down in any way. The fact that you all are so supportive of me despite my poor performance is more invigorating than you may realize.

To recap: Tali-path is absolutely not going on another hiatus, but I'm not going to make promises as to how long each chapter will take. If you're annoyed or otherwise put off by that, I'll understand if you leave; I'd be frustrated, too. My lack of energy and motivation are my own fault, and I'm trying to turn that around. But most importantly, the reason that I'm still committed to Tali-path is all of you who put up with my bullshit and patiently wait after every update for me to figure my life out and give you the next one. That kindness deserves my dedication in return, and thus I shall provide.

Now back to business.

Feel free to leave a review or PM telling me what you thought of this chapter! I decided to retroactively describe Grunt's retrieval mission, since it felt too much like Jack's mission when I was writing it, and it felt too much like a fodder chapter: a lot of details with no real significance, with a few major ones that I put in the little recap. It wasn't the easiest decision to make, since I didn't know how much everyone would like it, but I decided to go ahead and do it, since I felt that people would rather have this than a chapter that doesn't serve much of a purpose.

Let me tell you, this chapter was a tough one! I had a lot of trouble figuring out just what exactly I wanted to happen, and how it would affect the story. I was also presented with the decision of approximately how many more chapters this story is going to have in respect to how many missions, etc. that I want to include as their own chapters. The mission recap at the beginning is a prime example of how I'm handling this. Though I must apologize for this chapter being so short, especially after such a long wait. I wrote most of it in one day (I was especially motivated) and at that point I realized that I was struggling to find ways to make it longer. So I decided to stop worrying about the chapter's length (this time) and just focus on what I wanted to put into it.

In the end, I remembered that this story was originally a request, and decided to work more towards that. Sadly, I'm discovering that my writing style doesn't really work well for including many of the details that the original request mentioned (Sorry, man!) but I still aim to incorporate as much as possible. I hope that I did a satisfactory job on Tali's confession and John's subsequent response; I wanted to add more emotion, which I'm not particularly good at, and I'm trying to save some stuff for the chapter(s) during and after her loyalty mission in order to make more sense in the context of the game. Personally, I think that the dialogue that the game provides is great, so I'm holding out a little until then. Of course, this course of action easily enables me to make some changes to these things! After all, what's the point of doing things this way if I just end up copying what happens in-game later? That's the beauty of fanfiction!

As always, have fun and stay safe out there! -VV