Chpt 8: Oikawa- the feral father hen AKA Your lack of confidence is making me physically sick so just kiss.

Oikawa had a plan. It was brilliant (like all of his plans) and to the point (unlike most of his plans). Tobio-chan had been added to his school and his team because some idiots at Karasuno had been bullying him. In retaliation, Oikawa planned to annihilate them with the very setter they'd rejected. Especially Shrimpy-chan. He was the worst of all. Tobio-chan, who was (by all accounts) emotionally constipated, had confessed to him and the best he could manage was a stuttered rejection? Like that shrimp could do better than Tobio-chan? He could barely receive a volleyball with anything outside of his face!

"You're too worked up," Tobio-chan told him a few hours after the elder Kageyama had left for work.

"Maybe you're not worked up enough," Oikawa had countered, childishly crossing his arms and stamping his foot.

"Why do you even care," Tobio-chan asked, his voice sincerely curious.

"What did you say," Oikawa asked, narrowing his eyes.

"You don't even like me."

That was one way to annoyingly oversimplify Oikawa's very complex inner monologue. Oikawa did not appreciate that. He narrowed his eyes. "Do you attend Aoba Johsai High?"

"Yes," Kageyama said confused. It wasn't hard to make him confused, so Oikawa didn't spend much time congratulating himself on it.

"And are you on the volleyball team there?"

"Yes, you know that."

"And who is the captain of that team?"

"You are, Oiakwa-san," Kageyama sighed, exasperated. Rich. That was really rich. The first year idiot was exasperated by him?

"Do you know what makes a team work, Tobio-chan?"

That made Kageyama pause in thought.

"Practice?"

"Chemistry, Tobio-chan. A team is like a family and if you don't take the time to help each player be their best selves on the court then your family won't work together. You are currently like the basket baby of this family."

"What is that suppose to mean," Kageyama growled.

"You showed up on my doorstep unannounced. Who knows where you came from or what exactly happened to you, but you're part of this family now and do you know what we do when we're part of this family?"

"I have no idea. This speech is getting confusing."

"This metaphor is not confusing," Oikawa snapped, pulling on his second shoe. "In this family we win volleyball and crush the hopes and dreams of our opponents. If someone has crushed the hopes and dreams of my child-"

"I'm not your child."

"-the hopes and dreams of my child," Oikawa continued, raising his voice louder. "Then in return I- we will decimate them. You will play setter at the practice match and you will do your best because you're a prodigy or whatever." Oikawa stood, straightening his clothes and dusting himself off. He met Kageyama's eyes. "Am I clear?"

Kageyama blinked. Oikawa wondered briefly if he had broken the poor first year. Just how bad was the kid's brain, anyway? Oikawa turned to leave, noting the time and that he'd missed his weekly study session with Iwa-chan, Makki, and Matsun. He's have to catch up on his own, maybe text Iwa-chan for help on the math homework. He was just about to close the door behind him when he heard Kageyama speak.

"Thanks, Oikawa-san."

Despite that pep talk and all the pointers Oikawa had so generously given to his underclassman, when the game started he quickly lost his shit. Every time Shorty-chan got to the front of the rotation, Kageyama tensed up, hurriedly tossing without much thought or instinct. It was too low, too high, too far, too short.

"He's tearing this family apart," hissed Oikawa louder then he meant to. Yahaba shot him a sideways glance, confusion written across his face. Oikawa didn't have time to explain as that pathetic excuse for a setter's dump hit the net. Fury roared in his ears. He was practically seeing red when the whistle blew for a timeout. He was going to kill that little ungrateful first year!

He practically dragged him off to the side, just out of sight for any any responsible adult (or Iwa-chan) to see them. He practically threw Kageyama towards the wall, not that it had much effect since the kid was already so tall. Kageyama just stumbled forward a bit.

"What do you think you're doing," Oikawa hissed. Kageyama had the decency to look ashamed.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I keep messing up."

"I can tell."

"I never mess up."

"I'm aware, Tobio-chan. It's an enraging quality to have in a competitor."

"But I'm messing up now."

Oikawa pinched the bridge of his nose trying to calm down. The time out wouldn't last forever. He needed to get this over and done with quickly. He didn't have time to lead Kageyama through some magical love epiphany, so he cut right to the chase.

"You freak out every time Chibi-chan gets to the front."

"What?"

"Don't what me," Oikawa snapped. "You confessed to the kid then refused to talk to him and now he's here and you look like you're about to have a aneurism every time he's close to you at the net!"

"I-" Kageyama began, a denial on the tip of his tongue, but a murderous glance from Oikawa silenced him. A pink glow was burning across his ears.

"You know what would be the sexiest thing you could do to impress that volleyball obsessed idiot? Dazzle him with your sets. Make your plays so accurate, so impressive, so spike-able that he regrets every moment that Refreshing-kun is setting to him instead of you."

"His name is Sugawara."

"Can you focus right now," Oikawa began, teeth gritting, finger pointing directly into Kageyama's face, making the first year go slightly cross eyed.

There was a cough to the side. Both Kageyama and Oikawa turned to see Iwa-chan watching them. His eyebrows were raised, arms crossed, and face set in a strangely unreadable expression. Oikawa turned back to Kageyama, taking a step back to create a less threatening environment. He sighed, running his hand through his hair in thought.

"Go get water and reset yourself," he said finally. "You have one more chance to play correctly and if you don't, I swear on every deity that has ever been worshipped that I will make sure you don't play setter for the rest of your first year."

"You can't-" Kageyama began, but Oikawa silenced him with a glare.

"Go refill your water bottle outside and get it together," Oikawa snarled.

Kageyama jogged off without another word.

"Everything okay," Iwa-chan asked. Oikawa sighed.

"Was I this stupid?"

"Is this a trap," Iwa-chan asked, his neutral expression breaking slightly as his eyes danced.

"I spend all this time and effort using all the tools at my disposal and in my social network to find out why Tobio-chan transferred here. Then I create conditions for his new teammates to warm up to his cold, robotic heart. I even make a beautiful plan to help him stick it to Chibi-chan and Karasuno. How does he thank me? By forgetting how to set every time that shrimp comes up to the net."

Iwa-chan stared at Oikawa, his mouth opening and closing slightly like a fish. Oikawa glanced at his boyfriend for a moment, feeling suddenly self-conscious in the quiet.

"What," Oiakwa asked finally. "Is it something on my face?"

"That's what you've been running around about so secretly?"

"I haven't been keeping it a secret," huffed Oikawa. "I told you I was curious the first time Coach called us to meet with him."

"But you didn't tell me you were doing all this investigating."

"I didn't?" Oikawa pondered over his work the last few weeks. He was sure he had shared with Iwa-chan, but honestly he couldn't remember when. Maybe he hadn't shared after all. "Well, I thought I told you, if I didn't, so you can't be sour with me."

"So you're just secretly the best Senpai," Iwa-chan observed, his face breaking now into a soft smirk.

"It's not a secret that I'm the best senpai all the time," Oikawa sniffed. Iwa-chan chuckled and Oikawa felt his heart flip as it often did around the ace. He was suddenly very aware that they were still standing just out of sight from everyone. Iwa-chan stepped forward, reaching out and ruffling Oikawa's hair. Oikawa was about to protest when he felt the hand in his hair pull his forward. Iwa-chan was kissing him quickly on the lips. He was gone only a moment later, leaving a surprised Oikawa behind.

"Wha-" Oikawa began. He looked around them. "Iwa-chan, we're in public."Iwa-chan shrugged.

"I just wanted to."

"You just wanted to," Oikawa repeated, heat flushing his face. Iwa-chan laughed again and Oikawa couldn't bring himself to be bothered even though he knew Iwa-chan was laughing at him. Instead he squeezed Iwa-chan's hand shyly. "Time outs almost over."

"Probably," Iwa-chan agreed, squeezing back. Oikawa released his hand as they moved back into view. He scanned the gym, noting his team slowly getting back into place. Chibi-chan was bouncing up and down near the bench, finishing his water.

"You know, their idiots," Iwa-chan said. "But they kind of remind me of us."

"How are Chibi-chan and Tobio-chan like us," Oikawa gasped, offense showing all over his face.

"You know, Kageyama is messing up and stressed out because he likes Hinata, but he's so caught in his own head that he hasn't noticed how Hinata's just been staring at him any chance he gets. He almost got pegged in the face by a ball."

"He always gets pegged in the face with the ball," Oikawa replied, but he let his eyes linger on the shrimp. Now that he was watching, he could see the shrimp's eyes darting to the door Kageyama had exited through.

"And we took forever to get together for the same reason," Iwa-chan explained.

"Iwa-chan's just dense," Oikawa sniffed. "I always flirt."

"Yeah with everyone," Iwa-chan replied easily, rolling his eyes.

"But not like I do with Iwa-chan."

"I know it now, idiot. The point still stands. It took us actually communicating to figure out what was going on."

"You mean me confessing and running away?"

"And me climbing through your window. Don't pretend you did all the work."

"I did the most important work, Iwa-chan."

"Okay, next time I'll let you keep avoiding me and finally get some sleep."

"Rude."

Hinata's eyes met Oikawa's for a moment and in a flash he had an idea. He put on his best murderous look.

"You, shorty," Oikawa called. Hinata lost all color in his face at his tone and Oikawa felt a flash of amusement. "Go get some water before you pass out."

Hinata nodded hurriedly, rushing from the gym quickly.

"Stop bullying," Iwaizumi scowled, crossing his arms.

"I'm solving the problem facing our team."

"How is-" Iwa-chan froze, scanning the gym. Oikawa waited patiently, rocking back on his heels, pleased by his efforts. Finally Iwa-chan's eyes returned to the setter. "You sent Kageyama to get water to cool off."

"I did."

"And now you sent Hinata to do the same."

"Indeed."

"So they'll run into each other."

"Honestly if they don't, I'll kill them both with my bare hands."

"Nice play captain," Iwa-chan smirked, patting Oikawa's butt as he moved back towards the bench. Oikawa felt heat rush to his cheeks again.

"Iwa-chan! I insist on knowing what's going on. Who corrupted you like this? Was it Makki? Should I buy him a thank you gift or be angry? Iwa-chan!"

Thanks for reading! It's a bit short, but what's life without a little IwaOi break? Anyway, KageHina in the next chapter :) Review if you like!