Okay, it took longer than expected to upload this chapter, but somehow everything I wrote didn't seem to express what I needed. Thankfully I think I got it with this one...
with anything more to say, I let you with the chapter, hope you enjoy it! =)
Chapter 7.
The time that took him to get there had felt impossibly long... and to add to his growing discomfort Inuyasha noticed how his father wouldn't spot looking at him as if he had grown a second head. Fortunately he had stopped asking if he was okay, and Miroku didn't even tried to touch the topic seeing him so easily irritated.
Now, here he was sitting on the car, again, trying to stop his knee from bouncing anxiously, on their way back from his house to the funeral home (because, yeah, his father had made him go and make himself look "as if you have not spent the last 48 hours running on the forest" were his exact words). Thanks the heavens that Miroku practically lived in his house and had a change of formal clothes there, otherwise they would had had to stop by his house as well, and that was definitely something that his heart (half youkai or not) wouldn't be able to stand.
He tried his best not to jump out of the car as soon as his father had parked, but failed… well, it was not as if he actually cared, right?…
He entered the hall and instantly his nose burned from all the scents in the funeral home, the scent of flowers, dead corpses, humans, youkais, sadness, tears… a complete cocktail of scents that only clouded his senses, making it very complicated to locate the only one that he really wanted to find, desperately, Kagome's… he rushed his steps ignoring everyone that came to greet him, got to where his mother was and had to stop to give his respects to her and Kagome's immediate family, just because he knew that if he didn't he wouldn't hear the end of it from his mother latter. He had to admit that it was worth it, though, as they facilitated his search providing him with her exact location. With a court nod of his head to them he adjusted his path to the room reserved for the grieving family at the back of the hall.
On his way there he had caught a glimpse of Sesshoumaru, that was giving him almost the same suspicious look that his father had, but decided to ignore him, the idiot always had something to blame him for even when he hadn't done anything. Thankfully there weren't any fresh trails of Kikyo in the room which only meant that she hadn't been there since last night at least, though, he could expected her to appear at any minute.
He could feel Miroku hot on his heels, but didn't acknowledge the man in any way, even though he was minimally grateful to have him there to dilute the tension because at the moment he felt really mad at Sango (even if he knew that she wasn't the one to blame for Kagome's refusal to eat). Once he was close enough to the door he could heard the noises and somehow felt the scents coming from the room, he thanked the gods when he didn't find any traces of that bastard Hojo, but his relief didn't last long and was replaced with a different kind of annoyance once he caught a clearer understanding of what Sango was saying
-"So which one it's going to be, Kagome? Either you eat or let the doctor put that IV on you, it's your call" he could only imagine how pissed Sango was for the tone of her voice, apparently she had wasted all her options and knowing her he was sure that she was giving her an ultimatum, her last call to Kagome's rationality, before she resorted to act by other not so gentle ways.
-"I won't take any of your options, thank you…" came an equally pissed answer from Kagome… well that didn't sound good. Inuyasha knocked the door using apparently too much force, for several people standing near them turned to give him their disapproval looks, if only they knew how strongly he was fighting his impulse of knocking the fucking door down… fortunately Sango was quick to answer and he didn't had to do it… still he was feeling royally pissed to hear that she was actually considering to forcefully have a doctor put an IV on Kagome and wasn't able to manage a friendly face or greeting for his long life friend, "what the hell do you think you are doing?" he let out as soon as he was face to face with her, not worrying for how it sounded "well, hello to you too, Inuyasha, I'm happy to see you, and amazed that you manage to wait for me to open the door instead of just knocking it down" she retorted, he could felt a growl leaving his throat at her sarcastic tone, but otherwise ignored it and walked pass her focusing his attention on Kagome.
She was standing in the middle of the room, eying angrily at the doctor Sango had brought to intimidate her. True, she did looked like she needed a doctor at the moment, her always looking creamy skin now looked almost white in contrast with the black dress she was wearing, no doubt thanks to the fatigue and lack of food she had been forcing herself into for the past days, she had little dark circles around her eyes that were noticeable even with the light layer of makeup she was wearing, her eyes that had always shine with life and joy were dull and shallow, and there was not a tender smile on her face. Inuyasha felt a pang on his chest at the view of her and the guiltiness that he had been trying to ignore came back full force at that moment, even thought, he noticed that the moment his nose caught trace of her scent his nerves started to settle down just a little and felt as if a huge burden was lifted from his shoulders, and for a fraction of a second he realized how difficult it had been to breath moments before compare to the easy way in which his lungs expanded now with every breath he took.
He quickly made his way to her side, barking to the doctor to get out of his sight in the process, their friends were fast to understand that he wanted to be left alone with her because soon after the doctor made his way out he heard the door close behind him. Only then he let himself pull her into his arms, inhaling her scent and feeling more of that guiltiness when he did, as he could identify not only sadness but all the other emotions that were consuming her.
He didn't like it… she was bearing too much weight on her pretty little shoulders, and he felt that had he been there with her instead of running aimlessly in the forest he could have done something to prevent her to be feeling this way sooner.
She shivered in his embraced, fisted his white button up shirt as she pressed her face more to his chest, in any other situation he would be screaming at her for her idiotic refusal to eat but now he could only hug her tighter. Taking most of her weight in his arms he shorted the distance between them and the couch, he sat there and accommodated her so that she was sitting on his lap. She quickly readjusted her position so that she could rest her head on his shoulder.
She was trying hard to stay strong and not cry, taking deep shaky breaths so to gain control over her emotions. As to distract herself she started playing with his tie tugging it and rolling it between her fingers, had not his own hands been too comfortable resting around her waist he would have stopped her from doing it as he knew that she find it amusing to tug it and choke him with it, that and the fact that she clearly was not in a playful mood at the moment.
"What took you so long?" she asked after a while. –"why have you not eaten anything?" he countered. She made a pout and sighed –"I told them I would eat when I feel like it…I just don't think I can keep anything down…" she confessed after seeing the look on his face –"you have to at least try, Kagome. You could pass out the way things are now. You look sick, like horribly sick…" and then she did tugged at his tie and got up from his lap.
–"as if I don't know that myself already" she said and turned her back at him. "Kagome wait" he asked taking her by the hand to stop her after he recover from the coughing fit he got from her chocking him with his own tie. He turned her around when she didn't move, only to find her tears rolling down her face –"what am I going to do now?" she asked him between sobs "my dad is not even buried and already everyone is waiting to see the next Higurashi leader… as if the fact that he is dead doesn't even matter… as if he dying was only a hindrance in their way… I see it in their faces, Inuyasha, they are waiting to see my family fall from its place… what are we going to do? My mom… she cannot take father's place… and Sota… he … he is too young…and I… I can't… Inuyasha…why did this happen?" she was collapsing, and he couldn't bear it…
He pulled her into his arms again and tried to shush her, he could feel his blood boiling and his youki raising with the need to sooth her like had happened before, back in the hospital. He didn't even try to fight his instincts this time, he bit her on the same place on her left shoulder again without trying to rationalized the reason behind that impulse, after all if it could help her calm down, if that was what it took for her to stop hurting then he didn't find any reasons to stop himself anymore… and just like before, he felt the rush of her emotions going through him, and her own body relaxing in his arms as the weight of her sorrow and pain was being drained from her. This time he somehow knew what to expect and was able to appreciate every second of it, in a corner of his clouded mind he realized that this was exactly what he had been missing all this time, not only having her to himself but the connection he could feel had created with her, something bigger that whatever it was they had before, and he liked it, but there was another thing he noted, and that was the one that exhilarate his Inu youkai instincts the most, he loved the way in which her own energy submitted to his, accepting him and the invasion he was doing to her body, and unconsciously pressed her more to himself.
It may had been just a couple of seconds, but for him it felt like a little eternity, once he was sure she had let go most of her negative feelings he let go and licked the place where his fangs had pierced her to make sure there were no trace of what he has just done, kissing that same place after that. He also felt the tears that had leaved his eyes as he took in all of Kagome's feelings. Unsure of whether or not he wanted her to see his face he indulge himself a few more second nuzzling her neck with the tip of his nose enjoying her scent and the warm of her body against his, and promised to himself that he was not leaving her facing this alone again, she would not be facing her grieve alone nor she would have to stand up for her family by herself, he would make sure to protect her, he could do that, he could protect her better that anyone else, and he knew that for a fact…
He just forgot that he was already trying to protect her from himself…
She didn't know why she always let her guard down in front of him. Never in her life had she been able to keep her strong front with him, either because he knew her too well to tell when she was acting up or because she simple couldn't keep her stupid emotions in check… either way it was useless now, he already saw the tears… it was no use to keep the rest in now… so she let it all out, her pain for her father's dead, her fears of losing everything, her anger towards those that were looking to take over his place… everything… all the things that she had been swallowing up these two days to the point where there was no place inside of her even for food.
She knew he hated when she cried, she had used that against him so many times before to get her way, even when she knew it wasn't fair… it always seemed to bring him to his knees and give her anything she wanted. It had been long since she last saw that look on his face, even more since the last time he hugged her or called her name… she was happy to at least have a little of him back to herself, just sad that her dad had to die for it to happen.
When he pressed her to his chest and tried to make her stop crying she almost pushed him away, mad at him for treating her like everyone else had, like she wasn't in her right mind at the moment just because her father was dead…angry even for acting like if what she had just told him was not a serious matter. But just when she was about to do it he had reached for her neck again, she felt it just as the other time, how his youki raised and pushed against her miko powers as if asking for her submission, for a second she felt tempted to zap him but soon discarded the idea once his tongue graced her skin and his fangs sank in there. Unknowingly, but not unwillingly, she follow his silent command, and let her energy lay low so that his surrounded her completely, it made her skin tingle and felt goose bumps all over, but she was used to have Inuyasha's youki around her so much that it no longer meant danger for her, it meant warm, security, home… it made her feel at ease so she let it overpowered her once more…
And just like the previous time she hear him inside her head... whispering... "leave everything to me, Kagome, I promise I will make it better, I'll take it all… just don't cry… I promise to you I'll protect you, I'm here for you…always…" and she believed him... at the same time that her crying cease her emotions calmed down, and the pressure that had made its place on her chest started to go a bit at a time. Inuyasha let go of her once she had completely calmed down but didn't spot hugging her. He licked and kissed her neck where he had bitten her and stayed there nuzzling her for a while, he then kissed her forehead and rested his head on top of hers, Kagome wasn't sure for how long they stayed that way, but she supposed it wasn't much as no one had come to interrupt them yet…
After a couple of minutes more he sighed and loose his hold on her opting for taking her hands on his "we should go out now, it's about time…" he let the words hanging, she knew what he meant, it was time to say goodbye for good, she knew it was inevitable and had made up her mind, she just wished she shouldn't be forced to see all those people that were prying over her family's business. –"I know… I probably should go to my mother now…" she informed and turned to walk to the door –"just wait a moment" he said tugging her from the hand he was still holding "you are not going out of this room before you put something in your stomach" he told her, she turned to face him and rolled her eyes, was he seriously thinking that she was going to listen to him now? After not listening even to her mother when she asked her to eat? What part of not being able to keep the food from coming out from her as soon as she eat it he didn't understand?
–"I will eat when all this is over, Inuyasha, I'm sure that nobody wants me throwing up all over the hall" she turned to leave the room again just to be stop by his hand on her arm again. "you will eat now, Kagome, it not a request" just when she was about to turn and face him to give him a piece of her mind on where he could put his order he came hugging her from behind locking his arms around her waist "eat please" he said before briefly nuzzling her neck and giving her a brief nip on the same section on her shoulder, she felt like his words echoed in her head when he did so, as if to reinforced his request, she let out a sigh somehow feeling defeated in her own game and she swore she could feel him smirking behind her. "fine, but you clean up if I throw up" she said dislodging herself from him and pointing her finger at him, he raised his hands, palms facing her and now she was sure he was fighting hard not to laugh "don't worry, I clean, now eat what is still edible from that plate" she huffed again and took the cheese sandwich Sango had brought her earlier, it was cold and kind of hard now but still taste good.
She started chewing and as she did she realized just how hungry she really was. Somewhere inside her mind she thought it was very strange, but as her stomach didn't protest she continued until she finished all the sandwich and continue with the bowl of chopped fruits. Inuyasha took a chair closer to where she was standing and sit pulling her to sit on his lap again, he was enjoying watching her eat, that much was clear for the stupid grin on his face -"stop grinning" she told him "I still think I would throw up as soon as we left this room" he didn't stop grinning instead he reached out for the juice and bring it closer for her to drink "and I said I would clean" he promised again taking a slice of the chopped apples on her plate without losing the smirk on his face. She hummed to that while taking a sip of the orange juice. She finished all the food that Sango had brought, except for the yogurt, one sniff from Inuyasha told her that it was long lost. "See, that was not difficult, right?" he said once he was satisfied that there was nothing else that she could eat –"don't force it" she threaten him "I still feel that somehow I was forced into it" he gave her a confused and innocent look but didn't comment on it, opting for getting up and lead the way to the door.
The following hours were the nightmare she was expecting them to be, she received more condolences that she didn't believed, pity looks and false smiles, all the while she had to let go of her father and see her little brother give the official farewell speech in front of all those hideous people. The only good thing was that she had Inuyasha all to herself, he didn't let go of her hand at any moment, not even when her cousin came by throwing daggers their way, it was like he didn't actually see her, and that made her feel a little satisfied even if it was just for today and she had to pay for it big time latter. Hojo being, well Hojo, didn't complain over their joined hands and accepted it saying that he understood the connection they shared for they had been long life friends, and contented himslef by just staying by her side, which was actually behind her next to Sango and Miroku.
The following days went by in a blur, Kagome didn't want to particularly remember any of them. Out of the view of prying eyes she and her family allowed themselves the time to hurt and cry her father's sudden departure. The only constant in her life those days was Inuyasha's mother that seemed to have moved to her house as she was always there whenever she dared to go out of her room. She was grateful for having her there, she was being a great support for her mourning mother, and helped Sota more than any of them both could in those times.
As for her, she was getting used to have a sneaking hanyou coming through her room's window every day, like the good old times. It had been a great support to have him there specially the first night, when they came back from the graveyard and everything she could feel was the emptiness left on her chest and the constant crying that make even breathing a difficult task. He had been up to his promised and didn't leave her side any moment. That night that trick of his had come really in handy, she could tell that he had tried and restrain himself from doing it again, but when the hours passed and her crying didn't cease he couldn't resist it anymore, and she could only feel grateful to have her feelings turn off for a moment. She had slept that night curled against his chest.
When she woke up the next day she was surprise to still have him there, still holding her close to him. He had been really careful with her, seemed almost afraid to say or do something that would start her crying again. He had asked if she would like to get up and go eat something but she had denied and told him that she preferred to stay in bed a while longer, he simply nodded and accommodate himself to pull her so that she was almost all the way on top of him, after that he had occupied himself in rubbing her back and occasionally play with her hair, and when she started crying again he had tensed a little but soon started to do that purring she so rarely had felt before, but that always helped to comfort her.
That first day he didn't left her side, and had tricked her to eat some when she denied like he had before. That night things had been almost the same as the previous one with the only exception being that this time she hadn't cried herself to sleep, having him there, his youki constantly wrapped around her had help to minimize a little pang on her chest. On the following days they had fallen in a quiet routine, he came late in the afternoon, make sure to have her eating something, bring her news of the classes and anything else that served to distracted her, then let her cry in his arms until she fall asleep again, he would stay with her all night and the first hours of the morning after she woke up, make sure she eat breakfasts and then he left saying that one of them had to make sure to keep them updated with their classes, just to come back in the afternoon and repeat the process all over again. It wasn't until a solid week had passed that he started to suggest she needed to go out of her house again, maybe going back to classes, she refused but accepted having more visits from Sango, Miroku and the others.
The day everyone came to her house was the weirdest day of her life, with Inuyasha's special help she had gotten to be in a good mood, and manage to get a small smile on her face, her mother had been happy to received visits that didn't show the forced politeness the members of the board had showed. Just a bunch of teenagers making noise and silly things to cheer up a friend, it was all too good Kagome realized latter, it had been an almost perfect afternoon with just her closest friends eating and talking until the other reality that she had been pushing out demanded her attention.
First came Hojo, going on and on about how sorry he was for not being with her that past week, explaining that he had tried to call but his calls never went through, she lied telling him that her phone had died and had forgot to charge it and silently throw a glance to Inuyasha, the one she suspected to be the responsible for that (not that she really mind, to be honest she had completely forgot about the existence of her boyfriend), but she honestly was surprised to hear him said that he had come to her house several times but was denied the entry, well that was new, she thought, who would denied him to enter her house? But then again she throw a glance in Inuyasha's direction and saw the not so hide smirk he had on his face, and she put two and two together. Once she could convinced him that everything was fine and he had nothing to be sorry about, he had stayed by her side, only making her feel uncomfortable and making Inuyasha felt even more irritated. The tingling that she felt before by having Hojo making contact with her skin came back but this time it somehow felt worse, it was stronger, almost to the point where it really hurt. she made note to ask Inuyasha about it later, for now she was trying to stay as far from him as possible without being too obvious.
Just when she thought that Hojo was the worst of her problems Kikyo made her entrance…oh, dear gods, what was she paying? Much to her displeasure she made her way to sit by Inuyasha, locking her left arm to his right and kissing him on the check. Kagome didn't know if she was angrier to have her there acting all lovely with him or the fact that him wasn't doing a major thing to stop her… she had to remember to herself that she and Inuyasha were only friends, no matter that he had been acting like more than just a friend for the past week... for all she knew, he may be just acting upon an old bow they had made to be there for each other when they need it, he may be acting based on his feeling of responsibility more than love, and sure she didn't know what he had been doing or who he had been with when he was not with her, comforting her, laying with her on her bed in her room…
No, she refused to believe that he was only acting up because of what she was going through, what she had been feeling was real, right? Still he wasn't doing anything to shake her arm off him! Then again she hadn't done anything to send Hojo away either… she moved uncomfortably on her spot beside Inuyasha and excuse herself after hearing the false condolences her cousin gave her, how couldn't she notice that no one in that room actually like her? Oh well, this was Kikyo she was talking about, the woman that delighted in the suffering of others… with the excuse to go and look for something more to drink she made her way to the kitchen, initially Inuyasha had tried to stand after her but was stop by the tugging of Kikyo, thanks the gods Sango and Rin were quick to act and stopped Hojo from going with her, the last thing she wanted was to have him trying to make a move on her now…
They found her mother in the kitchen making dinner for the twelve teenagers in their living room with the help of Izayoi. Kagome felt relieved to see her mother slowly going back to her former self, and didn't doubt that it was thanks to the help of Inuyasha's mother. Seeing the pout that Kagome was wearing on her face her mother had to ask what was wrong, - "Kikyo invited herself to the party" Rin answered before she could say something. –"oh… I see" was all the old Higurashi could answer. "Yeah, and she is acting like she owns the place, again…" Sango pressed not even trying to hide her disgust. "You don't seem to like her much" Izayoi commented. "We don't…" said Rin casually, leaning on the table to inspect what the women were cooking "she has been cruel to us, especially to Kagome, and only come near us when she needs something or wants to wrong us in some way. Sincerely I don't understand what Inuyasha is doing going out with her…" -"Rin…" both Sango and Kagome hissed at the same time. –"what?" she answered "it is what everyone thinks!" she defended. –"Izayoi" kagome's mother said attentively. –"it's okay, Keiko, I'm not bother to hear it. I also think that she is not the one for my boy" she conceded throwing a significant glance towards Kagome. –"anyways, I don't think you came all the way to talk with this pair of old women, right?" she continued in a more cheerful tone "do you want me to give you more snacks?" the three girls nodded and waited anxiously for the snacks she was preparing, besides her mother's, Kagome had not tasted anything more delicious that Izayoi's cooking, anything she made for simple it may be was simply utterly delicious. She handed a tray with cupcakes and other sweets that she had just taken out of the oven to each one of the girls, and give another a jar with more juice to Kagome and sent them out on their way again, but before she could make it all the way out she felt the small hand of Izayoi on her shoulder and her a quite -"don't give up" whispered just for her ears to hear. She tried to look back to her and ask what she meant but she was already back to her mother's side fussing over the best way to cook the meat, so Kagome decided to take it as a blessing for her to take Inuyasha back from her cousin's claws.
After that little chat she had felt in better spirits and managed to ignore more of her cousin's poisonous comments. When the day died out and was time for everyone to leave, Kikyo tried to make Inuyasha take her back home, he seemed trouble and didn't seem to find a way out so her mother intervened saying that he had already promised to take her home and kindly ask Hojo to take her instead. Kikyo didn't seem pleased with the new arrangements but was obliged to accept the older woman suggestion, if there was something that Kikyo couldn't do was to contradict her authorities.
Soon after they were gone Izayoi took her leave too, but for Inuyasha's and Kagome's amazement she didn't take her son with her "I know you may have some things to talk, and I already call your father to take me home. So if Keiko doesn't mind, you are free to stay a little longer, babe" she informed his son. "I don't" came her mother's replied "it's not as if he hasn't been staying here every night for the past week, anyways" she confessed to the utter embarrassment of both teenagers… and here he thought they had been being careful not to let them notice... both mothers share a knowing look and giggle "now you know, you didn't had to sneak into her room" Izayoi added patting her son's redden check. "Mom…" was all Inuyasha could manage out. "Oh, don't worry, honey, we know you wouldn't do anything unappropriated" Keiko continued with her teasing. "Mom!" this time was kagome's turn to feel gravitated.
After that it was rather uncomfortable for them to make their way up to her room, with the knowing glances both women throw their way. "I'm sorry about that" Kagome said once they were in the safety of her room.
"I guess I had to see that coming… my old man always knows when I'm not home" he told her, his checks getting red all over again, she couldn't stop it this time and started to laugh, really laugh, at his expenses "hey…what's so funny?" he groaned "I'm… I'm sorry…"she tried, but was having trouble to stop her laughing "your face… I can't … it's too funny…" "happy to see you find it amusing" he scoffed, Kagome had to clean the tears that had left her eyes from laughing too much and had her hands folded against her stomach, which also hurt. When she managed to stop she saw that he had accommodated himself on her bed and was watching her with a smile on his face "it had been so long since I last saw you laugh that much" he almost whispered. She walked to her bed and plopped herself by his side. "Yeah, well, it had been a while since we had a chance to share a nice moment together…" he hummed his agreement and raised his hand to take a strand of her hair that had fallen on her face and place it behind her hear. "I'm sorry" he said after a while "about what…?" she asked –"just… everything… me being an idiot... you having to go through this… everything" –"I'm sorry too" she said and throw herself to him –"I hated it, every moment that we've been apart, it was awful… I don't want us to be like that again, Inuyasha" she breathed out against his shoulder "I promised you that I wouldn't let you alone again, right? You can be sure it ain't gonna happen again" he said pressing a kiss on her head "I don't even understand why all this happen to start with" she said lifting her face to see into his eyes, she felt him tense a little and his golden orbs went somber for a second, but whatever thought that had crossed his mind was quickly discarded for he pressed another kiss on her forehead and then let out a sigh "I'm not sure either… but we are here now, I'm here" - "promise?" she asked seeking for a little reassurance, still not believing this moment to be true, "promise." He said kissing her once more this time on the tip of her nose and pull her to lay down on the bed with him.
Just like that, Kagome allowed herself to forget every one of the bad memories she had of the past year, everything that was still standing between them, and all the unpleasant things that had happened to her in the past week, she kept out of her mind everything other than him, his warm body pressed against hers, the feeling of his youki pleasantly wrapped around her, and the promise that everything was going to go back to how it used to be…one way or another…