December 25, 2010

There's a foot in my face when I wake up. It's already afternoon, judging from the light that shines through the windows. Sitting up, I shove Dicks legs off my chest. We drank until we passed out on the couch. The notebook is still sitting on the coffee table, her last words taunting me, sending a spike through my heart.

I need to explain to her what happened, beg her for another chance, but it's Christmas Day so I can't leave it at Strand. I'm going to have to wait another twenty hours before I have any hope of getting something to her.

The words don't flow easily, the blank page staring accusingly up at me. I can feel Veronica's hurt and betrayal in her too few words. This was a mistake. It wasn't a mistake, at least not for me.

Veronica,

You weren't wrong. We had have a connection. I felt it too last night when we touched.

The girl, she's nothing. An old girlfriend who surprised me while I was distracted with something else. I only want you. I wish you hadn't run, let me explain this in person, but who am I kidding? If I had come back after Lilly kissed me and you were still there, I wouldn't have said a thing.

Partly because it didn't mean a thing to me, and partly because it's ingrained in me not to offer information that could cause me harm. I blame my father, who was is an abusive asshole.

It's not how I want to be with you, though. You make me want to be better, do the right thing. I want to be someone that you can love. I know we said that we wouldn't talk about love, that it was too heavy a topic for what we're doing here, but I can't not speak about it.

Not when there's a chance that you'll go away and we won't ever have the chance to see what we could be. Because I think we're going to be Epic. You speak to me in a way that no one else ever has. Not even the girl you saw kiss me, who I once called the love of my life. She was and is nothing to how I feel about you, and I've barely met you.

Just small talk and one electrifying moment when our skin touched. You set me on fire with that one innocent touch. If we kissed, I think we'd set this town on fire with the passion between us.

I know I hurt you; I know it's difficult for you to trust after what you've been through, but please, don't give up on me. Not yet.

If you're willing to give me another chance, meet me by the carriages in Central Park. I'll wait every night until New Year's Eve from sundown to midnight. If the clock strikes midnight on a new year and you haven't shown, I'll take that as my answer.

Please Veronica, at the risk of sounding like Abba's song, please, take a chance on me. I promise I won't hurt you again.

Logan