"You know, you did say yes"

"What?" Ianto looked up from his paperwork to where Jack had magically appeared by the side of his desk. It was late Monday afternoon and Ianto had successfully avoided any contact with Jack barring the usual coffee deliveries and pleasantries since the morning he had visited his flat.

"I asked you on a date" Jack leaned against the desk casually, "And you said yes"

"Oh" Ianto blushed, "Well, you caught me off guard, I honestly never expected you to ask something like that"

"I suppose that's fair. So what if I asked now?"

"I um…" Ianto stuttered, "I really don't think it'd be appropriate, Sir. I mean I have a…I have Jenny and…"

"Yeah I guess" Jack nodded, "But just as friends, we could get dinner"

"As friends?"

"Yep, purely platonic, two friends grabbing dinner and conversation"

"I don't know"

"Ianto, I want to do this right. I know you must have questions, and I want to do my best to answer them. I need to earn your trust back"

Ianto considered this for a moment before nodding,

"Ok, we can do dinner. Tonight?"

"I'll make reservations" Jack beamed, "It's a…."

"Not a date" Ianto finished firmly, whether for Jack's benefit or his own he wasn't sure.

X-X-X

Jack was true to his word, choosing a restaurant on Mermaid Quay that was modern and inviting without being overly romantic, the ideal meeting place for two friends. They ordered quickly and the conversation stayed in neutral territory while they ate, which in itself was a novelty. Ianto was surprised how easy this felt, and though it absolutely wasn't a date he still felt like he was getting to know Jack in a way he never had before. It was probably the longest they'd ever just sat and talked, and while Ianto hated to admit it to himself, he could do this over and over again. As they finished their meals and ordered coffees, conversation slowed to a halt as they remembered the original reason for the dinner.

"Okay" Jack took a deep breath, "I promised I'd try to answer your questions"

Ianto nodded, "So where did you go with the Doctor? Or should I say when"

Jack raised an eyebrow, "well observed"

"I run the archives, did you really think I wouldn't know about the Doctor and his TARDIS? And that's even without considering what happened in London"

"Sorry, I should've known" Jack agreed, "We went to the end of the universe, billions of years into the future. At least that's where everything started to go wrong. We met a man…another timelord known as the Master, although you'd recognise him as Harold Saxon"

"Harold Saxon? The bloke who ran for prime minister?!"

Jack nodded, "He stole the TARDIS and came here, planting himself in a position of power so he could take over. He sent you all off to the Himalayas and began his invasion. He killed so many people, Yan"

"But this didn't happen, Jack" Ianto frowned in confusion, "Saxon just disappeared"

"It was reversed, the 'Year that never was'" he said bitterly, taking a sip of coffee. Tasting the hot liquid was grounding him, reminding him that he was back home away from that nightmare. Reliving it was painful but necessary.

"Year?"

"It was a year for me, for the Doctor and a few others caught in the eye of the storm. The Master held us captive for a year. And every day he killed me, so many times and in so many ways I can't even…" he took a deep breath as his voice caught, "he had quite an imagination, lets leave it at that"

"Jack I'm so sorry" Ianto whispered, "I had no idea"

"I became numb to it after a while. Or at least I thought I did. But the Master could see that he wasn't going to beat me down by torturing me. He'd have to use somebody else to really get to me" Jack looked up at Ianto somberly, pain in his eyes, and the implication was clear.

"Do you mean…?" Ianto swallowed, unable to voice it.

"He killed you all in front of me. He'd bring you in one at time with a new way of killing you slowly. He made me watch every minute of it, Tosh and Owen then Gwen and then…" he gasped, unable even to say the words.

Ianto reached over the table to grasp Jack's hand, feeling the other man's hand tighten against his immediately. The grip was bordering on painful, as if Jack was trying to hold on to the reality that he was here, he was alive. He held on for a few seconds before letting go, leaving his hand resting close to the other mans across the table. He coughed quietly, trying to change the subject.

"When Owen asked whether the Doctor fixed you…is that why you went?"

Jack nodded, "I had to see if he could fix the way I am, the not dying I mean. But there's nothing he can do for me, I'm a fixed point apparently, so I think that means its forever"

"I'm sorry" Ianto said sadly, "We honestly just thought you'd gone off on some adventure with him and left us all behind"

"That was never my intention. I just wanted answers, and I got them even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear"

"I wish I'd known that sooner"

"Would it have made any difference?"

Ianto met his eyes, "It…would've helped"

They looked at each other a moment longer before Ianto dropped his gaze, having to break that connection. There had been far too many of these glances and moments since Jack had returned, and he was struggling to remind himself that he and Jack had never really been together in any real sense. He opened his mouth to ask another question but closed it again quickly. He wasn't sure how to voice what he wanted to know. Wondering what he and Jack could've been had never got him anything other than confusion. But he had to know what their last kiss had meant, so different from any others they had shared.

"Before you left…. after you came back but before you left" Ianto stopped himself with a small chuckle "if that makes any sense at all"

Jack smiled softly, "I know what you mean"

"Well… I never knew what that meant, when you….in front of the team"

Jack was silent for a moment, considering. That kiss had been impulsive, and in hindsight he could see how much confusion that would've caused the reserved young Welshman. He could tell Ianto now what it had meant to him, what Ianto himself meant. But in the back of his mind was Tosh's voice, telling him that Ianto was happy with Jenny, better with her. And he couldn't ruin that either.

"I was so relieved to see you Ianto. And seeing you now makes me even more relieved to be home. You're alive and well, and now you're happy with someone outside of this life. As your friend I'll be happy for you"

Ianto nodded, "Thank you" he said quietly, knowing Jack had somewhat deflected the question, but there was no other answer he was going to get and honestly, what answer did he want. He withdrew his hand and gestured to the waiter for the bill. They paid quickly and rose to leave,

"Thank you for being so honest with me tonight, Jack" he said as he shrugged on his jacket and they walked together to the door.

"It's the least you deserve" Jack murmured, "I'm only sorry I can't… there's a lot I would change if I could, lets leave it at that"

Ianto met his eyes and saw the same sincerity there he'd been seeing all night, the pain and longing behind his words. And suddenly Jack was too close to him and yet too far away all at the same time. He stepped towards the other man almost imperceptibly, his eyes dropping to focus on his lips, before reason took hold.

"I should go, goodnight" he stuttered before turning on his heel and heading swiftly away without looking back, leaving Jack staring wistfully after him.