Chapter 6 - The Interview Part 1: The Shirei-kan and The Sogeki-hei

TAZER'S POV

Apparently, before we could even get settled into our new homes, or even find out if we're getting new homes to settle in, we have been called down for an interview. A special interview that'll take place later on tonight on Alien Weekly.

According to Plexus, he claims that they all want us to go one at a time. With Skip going first, me going after, Razor next, and Sparks being saved for last.

Well, hey, at least it won't result in an argument every 5 minutes between all of us.

They don't know it yet, but I have been preparing for this for like, 5 months now, ever since they first told us Skip is one of the two finalists for the Earth Mission command.

Even if sometimes they can bug me, I knew Fornax and Therma still helped me out with the whole interview process while still being true to myself, they've taught me everything I needed to know.

I didn't even care what the heck the others were talking about, all I paid attention to is my thoughts and how I rehearsed all of these years, even if the questions they might ask me are not even related to the ones I have been asked.

But... Whatever, this interview is just a day one minor setback for us. After this, the true adventure begins!

SKIP'S POV

"Okay you guys, listen up!" I tell my newly formed team.

"Now, we're not here to have fun, you know? This is serious business. They're the big leagues, they want to know every single thing about us! So… I want you all to-"

"Be on our best behavior?" Razor speaks up. "You think we're little kids?"

Of course I don't.

"Ugh… No… But by the way you guys act, it's like you are children."

"Pfft."

"You oughta be lucky I'm going first. So, Tazer; I expect more out of you then to just show off like you're this dumb celebrity over at Earth!"

"No worries, sir!" Tazer spoke up. "I promise that I won't disappoint you!"

I roll my eyes.

"Right, Razor; Just try not to say how much you are superior to us boys… You may be the only female acting like a boy, but this is still a full-on men's country."

"Understood, sir." Razor says, less enthusiastically. "I heard you tell me this plenty of times and I know. I am not just a girl going around showing others who's boss, you know? I have a great fashion sense, I am okay with wearing poofy dresses, I like pink… So…"

"Eh, you've probably told me this a thousand of times but I might have never listened." I then turn to the newbie. "As for you, Sparks… You're new around here, and by the looks of it… You seem to be one of those introverts, so don't screw your interview up! GOT IT?"

"Yes sir…" He says, looking down as I look back. I couldn't really care less, he was the one who ran away and probably fueled a hatred for us in the first place, according to some rumors. So if he wants to kill himself, well, I say he can just wait until after I unleash the flares.

"Good!" I say, almost on cue, it seems like it is my time to get on, as I hear my biography.

"He got his start from mopping floors around the command base, but after he has proven himself around the other commanders, he landed a gig as one of the most potentially next big commanders of all time, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Commander of Team 9.2B, Skip!"

I get out there, and soak in the cheers from the crowd, I feel like this is the first time this has ever happened to me, getting all of the appreciation! It just makes me all of the more excited for when I see everyone bowing down to me, like I am either their ruler, or the one who saved their butts.

"First of all…" Bullet, the very well-known Bhannus host of the show begins to say as I sit down. "I am proud to be the first to say; Congratulations, Skip! I still cannot believe you blew everyone's expectations out of the window, and managed to get the invasion! I honestly thought with all of what Element has done, he'd get the invasion!"

Oh, if only you knew.

"Oh, it was nothing!" I lie. "I mean, Element was getting pretty old anyway. So I guess maybe, as his dying wish when I saw him having a heart attack, I'd do the hard work for him."

"Awww… A dying wish… Okay, so I have a couple of questions to ask you."

"Spit em out."

"Okay, so the first and most important question I need to ask you is this; How does it feel leading a critical mission to Earth?"

"I was born ready for a chance like this, Bull! I mean, it was my life's long dream to do something nobody else can! I remember when my father told me that someday, i'll be able to go from zero to a hero, heh… Look at me now!"

"And how about the current status of your team?"

"Well, they're okay… For a bunch of misfits… Sure, they can get the job done… But almost always, We fail! It's always failures with more failures following the next mission! The only time we succeeded was getting one of our own back or getting some sort of precious thing back! That's it!" I moan in anger and cross my arms.

"But surely, you must think of them as the best of the best, I mean, look! Tazer is practically a celebrity, Razor is, basically someone everyone needs on their team, and not to mention young genius Sparks…"

I look at them, watching from the backstage. Sparks, sitting on a set of boxes, is clearly the only one paying attention, much to my shock. Tazer is polishing his gun while Razor is doing the same, but to her nails. They both stop everything to wave and give a smirk to me. The engineer notices this and shyly waves at me with a smile and giggle.

I then turn back, and give my honest answer.

"Well, for the first two, I pity them, it's not everyday you can get exploited to gossip, but still, they have an easy life! Sparks on the other hand? Well, let's see, once he ran away after his parents died, which by the way, is a ridiculous reason, by the way… I bet he has done nothing to help his sorry ass out to prepare for something like this, and instead became such a lazy loser. I mean, that runt will get in the way just by the look at those big amber eyes! He's no warrior, he has no military training, he only passed by college because of sheer good luck! I say since I was clearly told that whoever got him onto the team, he was going to get the torture he deserves, and if you ask me… If that is the only way he'll listen to me and not kill himself like every other engineer, then he deserves whatever happens to him."

I grin at him, almost sinisterly.

Bullet just shrugs it off. "Understandable. We all feel like we need to take some desperate measures every now and then, right?"

"Exactly."

I look back. Tazer and Razor look at me with an approving look.

Tazer whistles in excitement. "That's our commander right there! HE'S OUR LEADER!"

I gotta admit, I do like his optimism.

"Not bad!" Razor exclaims. "We might have a chance at winning this time!"

Wow, I hope she means it this time around instead of being sarcastic.

Sparks meanwhile has a look as if he just witnessed a cringy teen idol singing a horrible song at first, before I turned to him, at that moment an angry and betrayed look invaded his face, crossing his arms as he began to speak.

"Just so you know, after all this is over… I won't be staying with you." He says as he turns his head, closing his eyes in the process, looking like a queen bee. I honestly had no idea how I heard it over the crowd chattering and cheering, but for some reason, my sperm must've attended the school of hearing things, since I heard him loud and clear.

I can already tell he's going to get on my nerves.

TAZER'S POV

Commander was amazing! He answered every single question like he is the boss, in which, yeah, he sort of is. But still! I can't help but approve of every word he speaks!

I don't know why everyone is not a huge fan of him! He is amazing! The best commander a guy can ask for!

Finally, he's getting the respect he deserves!

I on the other hand during the commercial break, have been rehearsing one more time in front of the mirror.

And finally, my time has come.

"Alright Tazer, I hope those skills from your fancy roommates have been coming into hand, if you know what I mean." Skip says as I walk out.

"Oh trust me, it's hard living with people who can be stuck-up bitches sometimes!" I point out.

Razor and Sparks meanwhile just groan and roll their eyes at our apparent Earthling profanity use, so what if humans use them and they can be strictly forbidden at any moment, like in a law sense? They are so fun to use!

"Go out there and knock Bullet dead!"

It was dead silent, before the two of us laugh for a long while until a certain someone chirps in.

No, I don't mean Razor. She's probably done so she probably requested someone to do her makeup or some girly shiza like that.

"This isn't funny you guys…!" Sparks exclaims.

We stop. Skip groans. "Don't you know anything about a figurement of speech? He isn't actually gonna kill him! You dumb fish out of water!"

The rookie just sighs, and walks off somewhere else. "I'll be over in the back..."

"TRY NOT TO SWEAT IT, ROOKIE!" I say, with him only looking back once. "I KNOW SKIP MAY BE A TOUGH GUY, BUT HE REALLY IS A SOFTIE!"

"Eh… We shall see… Anyway…" Skip says to me. "Good luck out there."

"He is a military born man who is tough to the bones and would do literally anything to get his hands on the best of the best weapons in the entirety of Zirkon! With a great diet to boost and a great workout technique, here's your sniper; Tazer!"

As my little bio ends and Bullet calls out my name, I get out there with a battle cry.

"HUWAAAAAAA! I HAVE ARRIVED! WOOOOOOO!"

I soak in the crowd's cheers, as if I was a wrestler for a moment, even allowing some signed pictures of me I have bringed with me to the crowd, finally sitting on the couch.

"So, I hear that you're the one that is the most excited out of everyone in this group to invade, am I correct?" he begins.

"Oh yeah, Bull!" I say. "You see, it has always been my life's long dream for our team to go out there and make some names out of ourselves, you know? Like some sort of super-hero thing! Only except we are not taking down the alien bad guy, we're the alien bad guys!"

I laugh, the audience joins in.

"Right, right, so… What about the new Howler? I hear it's quite a hypnotizer for the humans!"

"You mean like this?"

I reveal the gun to everyone, they all roar in excitement.

"This is the latest gun in the library, and we're the first ones to ever get their hands on such a baby!" I say. "It has the latest state of the art bullets, so any human who comes near us and they are facing another person via the neck, it can fire up toward them, and with this mind control… Uh… Controller…"

I show off the controller for a moment.

"We can take those suckas down and use them as our own! We are becoming larger than life, and it feels so good! To all of those Artomokis watching this, eat your hearts out!"

"Okay, okay! Now… What do you think of how everything will go down when you first land on Earth?"

"Well, we're definitely gonna take real good care of those puny humans, first of all, make them our slaves and all! They will help us lead us to Sizematron, and with that, everything will go according to Skip's plan! We build the machine, Skip grows into a giant, he unleashes the beacons, and then once the fleet arrives, we'll invade the Earth and crush the Earthling's dreams! I absolutely cannot wait to see the look on those pathetic excuses for a species faces when we kill them if they refuse eternal enslavement! It'll be absolutely priceless!"

TO BE CONTINUED…

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Welp, I am just gonna spit it out right now… Do expect some delays, because I wanna mainly focus on some Netflix trip I began this week. I am currently watching "The Office" as we speak, and I don't really know if I wanna juggle that and this fanfiction both at the same time, especially if people are only gonna view it and have that be the end of it.

Look, I really want this fanfiction to be the next big thing. I really do, but like I said before, I don't really know if anyone is gonna be all that interested in an AITA fanfic in 2020. Plus there is the fact that I constantly run out of ideas, but still. If you want a jist of what Chapter 7 will be all about, basically in a nutshell; It'll be the interview for Razor and Sparks. That's sorta all I can give to you right now.

I am fully aware this may sound like I am seeking attention. But at least give some sort of review or fav. Just so I can know that at least people are reading this passion project of mine that I have wanted to happen via movie for a long time, but to no avail.

But hey, I wanna give at least thanks to the 6 people who gave this one hits over at Archive of our Own. I am eternally grateful for those guys. Keep it up!

And one more thing, I don't really recommend it, but if you are reading this without knowing anything about Aliens in the Attic itself, well, it's on sale on digital platforms, so you can rent it over there! Again, don't recommend it since I'd prefer you'd read this first and see the film after, but hey, you can at least get a idea of what I am referencing to like the Engineer Previous and all that.

I do not own anything except for some of the places and characters! Everything else belongs to 20th Century Studios, Regency Enterprises, and Disney!