"Tell me if you're straying off, same as you were, they're calling you out.

Is this the sign of the end, are we losing air?" Skullflower, The Sound Of Animals Fighting

Xx

Zuko's chest had been sore every day since he last saw Katara in the abandoned desert town. Well, not physically sore, but if he didn't know better he would have thought it was an illness of some kind. As it was, he knew that it was an emotional response. "We'll see each other again." She had been so sure, so confident when she said those words to him before they parted. "I can feel it." As strange as it was, he believed her with no hesitation, mostly due to the fact that he could feel it too. He didn't know what "it" was, but he definitely felt something. If he were younger, he probably would have written it off as indigestion. His uncle had been looking at him funny ever since they split from Katara and the others; Zuko would catch Iroh peering at him out of the corner of his eye every now and then, but every time Zuko turned, his uncle turned away. He tried asking him about it ("What? Do I have something on my face?") but his uncle would never give him a real answer— he was learning that Iroh was a master of the "non-answer".

But, despite how annoying his uncle was sometimes, he did find them a way to the dock at Full Moon Bay, and had somehow acquired passports for them as well. Zuko felt that it was best not to question things like this, as his uncle would give him yet another non-answer and then rapidly change the subject. They had suffered through a long ride stuffed into large fake flower pots to get to the bay; Zuko didn't think he would ever get all the dirt out of his shaggy hair, and was still shaking it out as they got their tickets. Iroh was chatting up the unfriendly woman at the counter while Zuko looked around. He had hoped to see Katara, but she wasn't here. What would he have done if she was here, anyway? Run up to her, spin her around in his arms, and kiss her in front of all these people? That sounds really nice, actually. He shook himself out of his thoughts as his uncle led them over to a small bench where they waited for the ferry.

Xx

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting when he heard the word "ferry," but it definitely wasn't this. It was packed with refugees; they had to go outside to find an empty place to stand, and even then they were surrounded. He had been looking forward at least to eating real food— the weeks on the road hardly ever eating an actual meal had resulted in him losing quite a bit of weight, and he was sick of his ass being sore every time he sat down. But Zuko never got nice things, so when he tries the food, he almost immediately spits it out.

"This stuff tastes like garbage!" He holds the bowl away from him with a disgusted face. "I just want some real fucking food!"

"If you aren't going to eat that nephew," Iroh says from his place next to Zuko. "I'll gladly take it off your hands!"

He hands the bowl over to his uncle. "Be my guest." He heaves a sigh and leans against the railing. "I'm so sick of living like this."

"Aren't we all?"

Zuko spins around at the sound of a voice, coming face to face with a handsome man who looks to be around his age with a piece of straw poking out of his mouth.

"Uh..." Zuko struggles for words; he had never been good at talking to pretty people, and the man in front of him is definitely pretty.

"My name's Jet." He has a look in his eyes that makes Zuko blush. Jet's mouth tipps up in a smirk when he notices. "These are my Freedom Fighters, Longshot and Smellerbee," he gestures behind him to a lanky young man and his androgenous friend standing next to him.

"Hey." Smellerbee nods, as does Longshot.

"Hello." He nods back, regaining some of his composure.

"So..." Jet leans on the railing next to him, propping himself on his arm so that he can look in Zuko's eyes, and his composure slips away once again. "We heard that the captain is eating real food, and lots of it. We don't think it's very fair that he gets all the good stuff and we're stuck with the scraps." The Freedom Fighters nod behind him. "We were thinking that later tonight we could "liberate" some food from the kitchens. What do you say?" He leans into Zuko's space a little more, causing a distracting fluttering sensation to arise in Zuko's stomach.

"I'm in," he agrees, and Jet smirks and winks and Zuko; he feels the heat crawl back onto his cheeks.

Xx

As soon as night falls, Jet finds Zuko and they sneak up to the kitchen area. They break into the kitchen, and begin to pack bowls and bags of food into the large sacks that Jet had brought with him. They don't speak while they work, and soon they are hopping out of the window and sliding down a rope that Longshot had strategically placed for them with an arrow. They bring the bounty back to Iroh and Smellerbee, distributing the food and digging in. It's the heartiest food Zuko has had in too many months, and he savors every bite. Jet eyes him as he lets out a soft sound of appreciation.

"I hear they eat like this every night in Ba Sing Se." Jet is leaned up against the railing almost shoulder to shoulder with Zuko as they eat. "I can't wait to see that glorious wall."

"It's truly a magnificent sight," Iroh cuts in. Zuko is grateful that his uncle doesn't judge him for who he chooses to spend his time with; Jet's proximity and lingering look is making his intentions crystal clear.

"Oh, you've been there before?" Jet looks interested in Iroh's story, but Iroh isn't going to indulge him by recounting it.

"Once, when I was a different man." A solemn look shrouds Iroh's face, and Jet looks down at his bowl of food.

"I've made some mistakes in my past that I'm not proud of." He looks at Zuko, their eyes level with each other. "That's why we're headed to Ba Sing Se; for a fresh start."

"Us too." Zuko looks back down at his bowl, a dusting of red on his cheeks, and he notices that Jet is still looking at him. He's glad Jet is on his right side, allowing Zuko to peek at him discreetly out of the corner of his eye.

"That's very noble of you," his uncle gets Jet's attention again. "I believe everyone has the ability to start over. Everyone should be given a second chance." Jet nods, and they finish their food in silence.

By the time they're done, the hour is late. Iroh lays down to sleep, and Longshot and Smellerbee head off to bed as well. Zuko is left just with Jet, the privacy prompting his heart to begin to pick up pace in his chest.

"Want to take a walk?"

Jet leads Zuko to a less populated area, and when they round a corner, he suddenly pushes Zuko up against the wall, one arm braced on his chest to keep him there.

"I know what you are." Zuko's heart is beating frantically in his chest as he tries to think of an escape plan. His swords are trapped between his back and the wall, and there's no way he can firebend. "You're like me." Zuko makes eye contact with Jet, who surges forward to kiss him.

Oh. His nerves fade as he relaxes into the kiss, Jet's hands snaking up into his hair as Zuko's roam his broad back. It's been so long since he's kissed anyone, and he drinks it up as Jet's skilled lips part his own. Jet moves one of his hands down (he doesn't touch the scar, and Zuko tries not to think about it) and pushes it up under Zuko's shirt, making him shiver, and Zuko takes hold of Jet's hips and pulls him closer so their bodies are flush against each other. Jet pulls away from Zuko's lips to kiss and suck on his neck, and Zuko's head rolls to the side to allow him more access. His eyes open briefly, and they fall upon the full moon shining bright overhead. Bright blue eyes, soft brown hair, the smell of fresh rain... Zuko closes his eyes against the thought of Katara; it's not like they're… anything, really. He shouldn't be thinking about her now, and when Jet pushes his leg in between Zuko's, it becomes much easier to stay in the moment. He pulls Jet back up to his face and kisses him fiercely, making up for all the months he's gone without any physical intimacy. Jet pushes his thigh up against Zuko, and he lets out a small groan, letting himself get lost in the moment. He doesn't think about Katara, he doesn't think about the Fire Nation or the Avatar— he doesn't think about anything.

Xx

They part ways when the ferry docks in Ba Sing Se. There's no heartfelt goodbye, no soft parting words. Zuko and Jet nod at each other, then head off to their new lives. Zuko isn't a fool; he knows there were no feelings attached to what they did, and he's fine with that. He's never actually had a real relationship, and he's not about to start one with some random guy he met on a ferry, no matter how attractive he is. Besides, I love—

Oh, no.

He had tried so hard not to think those words, knowing that once he did, it would be all the more real. I can't love someone I barely know. He struggles mentally, lagging behind Iroh as he leads them to where they will be staying. There's no way he loves her, it's just not possible. He doesn't even think all the time they've spent together adds up to more than a few hours, his unconscious time in the South Pole notwithstanding. How can he love someone who he knows nothing about?

But still, there's that bone deep ache in his chest, the one that flares up whenever he sees the color blue or looks up at the moon hanging gracefully in the night sky. Whenever she's in his dreams, she feels so real, so solid in his arms. He had to actively fight not to think of her when he was with Jet, to stop wishing that those were her lips under his, her hands in his hair. He thinks he would be the happiest man alive if he could just hold her hand. Agni, how corny does that sound? He's turning into a hopeless romantic, and he can't get Katara out of his head until he and Iroh arrive at their destination.

"Here it is!" Iroh gestures happily to a slightly run down building. "It's just a little flat on the second floor, and we'll have to share a room, but I think this will make a lovely home."

Home. Zuko hasn't had a real home for the past seven years, and maybe he's a pessimist, but he doubts this place will ever be a home to him. He doesn't want to build a life here. What do I want? It's a question he isn't sure he has an answer too. He wants the war to be over. He wants to take his rightful place on the throne of his nation. He wants to help the world repair itself, to help the other nations see that the Fire Nation can be kind and just if they're given the chance. He wants to feel like he truly belongs somewhere. He doesn't want to be a burden on his uncle; he'd deny it if Zuko asked, but he knows that his uncle just wants to settle down, and that he's getting in the way of that dream. He wants to feel loved. That's one desire that he keeps deep inside, where no one can ever find it. He may want to be loved, but does he deserve it? He isn't so sure. What has he ever done in his life that makes him worthy of love?

As he lays down to sleep that night, his uncle's snores a cacophony in the bed across the small room, his mind is plagued with these questions. He runs through them over and over again trying to figure out what it is that he really wants out of life. When the moon is high in the sky, he settles on a phrase that he thinks might cover everything, that wraps up his desires in a neat little package and ties it with a nice bow.

He wants to feel safe; in the world, in his home, and in his heart.