CHAPTER SEVEN

"I keep dreaming about him leaving me in the woods," Bella admitted, twirling her straw. She watched the shrinking ice cubs swirl around her glass of root beer. "Keep thinking about what he said to me."

"Maybe it's a blessing in disguise," Jessica said. "This way, you won't forget what he did to you. And if he ever comes back, you can tear him a new asshole."

Leah and Angela laughed.

The four girls were a diner in Seattle, Bella having introduced Leah to the other two. Leah had been timid at first, and Bella couldn't blame her. From what she'd gathered, Leah was a social outcast on the reservation now. Bella couldn't imagine being how it felt to have people who you thought loved you take someone else's side.

True to her word, Bella hadn't mentioned Leah's presence at the meeting last week, although she was tempted to bring it up with her dad. Bella would never divulge someone else's personal information, but she was worried about the influence that Sam had on the reservation. She hadn't thought there was anything too strange about him when they'd met, but after finding out that he was controlling Leah's social interactions with others, she was a lot more wary.

Bella was hesitant to make any concrete assumptions about Sam, seeing as how the only information she had about his questionable behavior came from Jacob and Leah. Without seeing it for herself, it felt wrong to make accusations. She believed Jacob and Leah, but didn't want to get her father involved without any actual proof besides heresy.

"Maybe all of us being single is for a reason," Angela said. "Maybe we're meant to make this year about ourselves."

"I can definitely make this year about me." Jessica grinned with a maniacal look in her eye.

She opened her mouth to continue, but paused when the waiter came back with a large, round tray of food. Bella's mouth watered at the sight of her bacon burger and fries. Angela had ordered chicken tenders, as had Leah, and Jess had gotten the breakfast platter. Bella smiled down at her plate briefly, once again struck with the realization that her life here was so different than her life in Phoenix. She'd never gotten the chance to go out wit friends, and she had trained herself to eat very little since she was young to survive those weekends when her mother would leave her alone.

"Bella?"

She jerked out of her thoughts, flushing. "Yeah? Sorry."

"It's okay," Angela assured her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Bella said quickly. "I was just thinking about how in Phoenix I never really went out with friends like this. I'm actually surprised you guys haven't gotten sick of me yet."

"You didn't have many friends in Phoenix?" Leah asked, drowning the tip of her chicken tender into honey mustard.

"I didn't really have the time." Bella said. "Also, don't know if you've noticed, but I'm really awkward."

"Bella spent most of her first day at Forks High in silence," Jessica supplied, stuffing a forkful of pancakes in her mouth, syrup getting caught in the corner of her lips. "It was like talking to a brick wall."

"She wasn't that bad!" Angela laughed. "She smiled a few times."

Bella buried her face in her hands in mortification, cheeks burning. It was no secret that her social skills needed work, and although she was doing much better now, it was still kind of embarrassing to remember how things used to be.

"She seems fine to me," Leah smiled, nudging Bella's knee under the table with her own. "Besides, the quiet people are the best because they always know all the gossip. Speaking of gossip, tell me, what's the latest at Forks High? La Push drama isn't nearly as fun."

Angela stared at herself in the mirror.

For the first time in a long time, she didn't hate what she saw. Being in the closet had made her internalize a lot of things, to the point where even seeing her reflection made her sad. Now that she was out to her two best friends, she felt so much better. Knowing that she could always go to Bella or Jessica had eased the pressure in her chest, and she was once again able to sleep without facing the fitful hours of tossing and turning.

The only people who she was worried about was her parents.

Angela's life was complicated. She went to church not necessarily because she wanted to, but because it was expected of her. The church and the connecting faith was very important to her mother and father, and Angela would never begrudge someone for finding comfort and peace in religion. However, it was difficult to share those feelings when people like her father used that same religion to justify prejudice against those that were different. Angela could never say that, though, not to her father's face.

She was Angela Weber, and Angela Weber was expected to be seen and not heard, be a second mother to her younger brothers, maintain straight As, and be heterosexual. It didn't matter that she was an individual human being separate from the idea of her that her parents had in their head.

Angela raised a hand to her cheek, touching the soft skin. She imagined what it would be like to meet the love of her life, another soft hand wrapped around hers. Perhaps she'd wear glasses, just as Angela did. Once upon a time, she was convinced that she could accept Ben as the love of her life, no matter how much it made her stomach turn.

Hope filled Angela's chest. Her lips quirked up into a smile.

If was able to accept herself, love herself, for who she was, and her friends were as well, then why couldn't the same apply for her family? Her parents loved her. If she could simply explain, they'd understand! They'd take the time to improve, to accept, to believe. She'd open her heart to them, and they would realize that all the things they believed about homosexuals to be false.

Filled with a renewed sense of purpose, Angela brushed her hair back from her face and left her room, walking down the steps carefully to avoid waking her brothers from their nap.

The light from the kitchen could be seen from the bottom of the stairs. Angela's socked feet slid along the carpet, her heart pounding as she prepared to reveal her secret yet again.

Angela was a mere foot from the entrance of the kitchen when she began to hear her parents' voices.

"Any news about James?" her mother asked. Angela crept closer, peering around the corner. Something about the tone of her mother's voice made her hesitate.

"He's doing well at camp," came her father's reply, a smile on his face as he flicked through the newspaper at the kitchen table. Her mother refilled his mug of coffee before returning to the dishes.

"That's good. I know Jane and Brandon were worried that it was too late."

"It's never too late," her father gently reminded her. "He, like many others, are just confused. Without the proper guidance and dedication of their parents, people like James are unable to resist the Devil's temptation. It is up to us to put them back on the right path. James may not realize it now, but the conversion therapy is necessary. It's the only way he can once again become a man of God and truly bring honor to his family. As long as the therapy is successful, the church will welcome him back with open arms."

Angela inhaled sharply, a tear sliding down her cheek as she realized what had happened.

James was a boy who went to her church. He didn't live in Forks, but in a neighboring town, Beaver. He and his family were regular attendees, or, at least, they used to be. James had been absent for several months now, only his mother and father making appearances. When asked, they'd said that James had to be sent away to a medical facility to treat a deadly disease. Angela, like many others, had thought nothing of it. It was rare for people in small town Forks to get diseases so bad they needed to be sent elsewhere, but not uncommon; it had to happen to someone. Now, though, Angela understood that that story was a very clever lie.

In the minds of Jane and Brandon Xavier, James did have a deadly disease. To them, being homosexual was a sickness, and so the "medical facility" that they'd sent him to was necessary to prevent their family from being ostracized by their peers.

At the sound of her gasp, Angela's parents turned to look at her, partially hidden behind the wall. She hastily wiped her face.

"Angela!" her father smiled, folding his newspaper and putting it down on the table. "What are you doing standing in the dark hallway?"

Angela stared into her father's face, and then glanced at her mother.

"I just came down to see if Mom needed help getting dinner ready," the lie slipped easily from her lips, and her father smiled approvingly, always pleased to see his daughter helping out around the house.

Angela's mother waved her other and began to instruct her on preparing the chicken. Angela went through the motions, her face betraying nothing. But on the inside? Angela had never been in so much pain.

How could she have been so stupid? Why would she ever think that she would be welcome here?

Angela thought about James, and wondered if he'd ever recover from the horrors that his parents had subjected him to. She thought about how easily she could have been in James place, and merely imagining it made her eyes water.

She understood, now, that she could never trust her parents with this part of herself.

Until she could leave, until she was safe, she was Angela Weber. She was the pastor's daughter, a straight A student, a caretaker, and, most importantly, straight.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Days later, Leah and Bella are in Bella's room. Ever since their lunch, Leah's been happier, a lightness about her that wasn't there before. Being able to carry a conversation with people that weren't taking sides in the Sam-Emily-Leah love triangle was refreshing, and Leah was more than happy to spend her days with Bella, when she wasn't with Seth and Jake.

Leah's fondly telling Bella stories about Seth, and Bella wonders what her life would have been like if she'd had a younger sibling.

"You love him a lot," Bella observed, playing with a loose thread at the bottom of her dark blue sweater. "It's weird; back in Phoenix, I never really met anyone that actually liked their siblings."

"That's due to bad parenting," Leah said, waving her hand in the air. "A lot of parents, intentionally or unintentionally, turn their children against each other and make everything a competition. And some parents make the older siblings a third parent to their siblings, which builds resentment. Not my parents, though. Seth was never forced on me, and they never neglected me for him. I love Seth a lot. Aside from you and Jake, he's been my best friend through all of this. I can always count on him to have my back."

"I used to wonder if I'd ever had a sibling." Bella admits, frowning. "Honestly, I used to panic that my mom's reckless behavior would end up with her constantly pregnant, what with the way that she went through boyfriends. Now that I think about it, I'm glad that never happened. I wouldn't have been able to handle parenting two people."

"You don't talk about her much," Leah says quietly. "And when you do, you never sound happy."

Bella's silent for a moment. As she slowly came out of her shell, she found herself more and more irritated with how Renee had impacted her life. So much of her life had been her staying silent and making excuses for her mother's neglect, and she was slowly accepting that she didn't have to do that anymore.

"Renee...sometimes I don't even have the words to describe her. Sometimes, she can be really sweet. And others, most of the time, actually, she's so wrapped up in her own little world that no one else exists. She didn't want to be a parent, I don't think, but she wanted my dad to have me even less."

Leah's arms wrapped around Bella's shoulders, and Bella inhaled deeply, taking in the warmth that Leah was willingly sharing. She hadn't admitted that to anyone, and it felt good to get that off her chest. Renee didn't like being a mother, but what she liked even less was losing. And it worked out, in the end, in that she was able to get away with the bare minimum while Bella was the adult.

Leah pulled back, looking Bella in her eyes. "My mom loves you, you know. She'd gladly take you in. Charlie, too."

Bella smiled, touched that Leah was offering her family despite her own current problems with them. "She just wants Charlie and Harry in the same place so she can bully them into eating better."

"Or maybe she wants my dad to see what a good influence you are on Charlie," Leah giggled. "Your old man is a hell of a lot more active than mine is. How'd you manage that, by the way? My dad acts like it's the end of the world when my mom tells him to stop eating fried fish."

"It's a joint effort. I wanted to be more active, and I wanted my dad to live past fifty, and after the year I've had, he's been very open to change."

Leah sighed, moving to lay down on the bedroom floor, only to sit right back up, a frown on her face.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"This board is sticking up," Leah said, poking at it with her finger. "Did you yank a nail out or something?"

Bella's heart started to race for reasons unknown, moving Leah's hand out of the way to grip the edges of the board and pull it up.

Under the floorboard is every single item she'd ever received from the Cullen's. The CD. The plane tickets. The pictures. Everything.

Someone's talking, Bella was sure, but the words weren't being processed. All she heard was white noise as she stared down at the items that Edward had no doubt stuffed under her floors. Bella didn't know what to think, didn't know what to do. Why had he hidden them instead of destroying them? Did he still love her? Was he coming back? Did he mean for -

"Bella!"

Bella looked at Leah, and whatever Leah saw made her pull Bella away from the open section of the floor.

"Bella, are you okay? How'd that stuff get down there?"

Bella wanted to scream, wanted to take that CD and chuck it out the window, but also wanted to play it on repeat. She wanted to take those plane tickets and go anywhere and nowhere. Wanted to smooth out the crumpled photos.

"I'm fine," is what Bella said instead. "I had forgotten I put them down there. It surprised me, is all."

Leah looked unsure, but didn't push.

"Hey, tell me more about the stuff you do with your dad. I need some pointers."

"It'll be better if I showed you," Bella says. The girls prepare to go downstairs and out into the backyard. As Leah's starting down the hallway, Bella places the board back into its spot and presses it down. Out of sight, out of mind.

For now.

"I'd better head home," Leah sighed, leaning against the hood of her car.

She and Bella had been out back for a while, goofing off as Bella talked about the exercises she'd picked up over the weeks. Leah didn't want to go home. She didn't want to see anyone else looking at her with pity or mumbling under their breath about her failed relationship. And she absolutely did not want to listen to her dad try to make excuses for Sam. She loved the old man, but God, was he pushing it.

"I'm glad you came over today," Bella smiled. "And stayed for dinner. Charlie loves you more than me, I swear."

"Well, who wouldn't?"

They both laugh.

"Seriously, though, thanks for always wanting to hang out. I felt bad always hanging out with Jacob because then he doesn't see Embry and Quil as often."

"You and Jacob hang out a lot?" Leah said coolly.

"Yeah," Bella said slowly. "Mostly just working on his car. I mean, I don't work on the car, but he lets me watch."

Leah's face looked a little dark, and Bella hesitantly asked, "Did I...do something? I...I thought we had a good day today."

"It's nothing," Leah snapped. "I just didn't realize that you and Jake were so close."

Bella stared at Leah for a moment before a smile slowly spread across her face. "Leah Clearwater, are you jealous?"

"What?!" came the shrieked reply, followed by reddening cheeks. "Why would you think that?"

"Oh, my God," Bella cackled. "You are! You are so crushing on Jake. That's so cute."

"Swan, you tell anyone, and you're dead," Leah hissed, jabbing a fingernail into Bella's chest. "I mean it!"

"I won't tell anyone!" Bella swore, raising her right hand. "And you don't have to worry about me, I'm not after Jake."

"He talks about you all the time. Like, all the time. You two seriously aren't together?"

"We're like siblings," Bella said reassuringly. "He probably talks about me a lot because he's nervous."

"Does he...is he nervous because he likes me?" Leah whispered, hopeful.

"Ask him yourself." Bella smirked, pushing Leah towards the driver's seat. "Get a move on and go get your man. Time's a wasting!"

After Leah left, Bella went to bed. With her father asleep and Leah back in La Push, her thoughts very easily strayed back to the uneven floorboard just a few feet away. Bella dared not to even look in its direction, instead staring at the ceiling so hard she was surprised that it didn't catch fire.

She had so many questions and too little answers. When Edward had left, he'd torn her apart. The wound to her heart had only worsened when she'd come home, only to realize that the reminders of him and his family were gone.

Bella didn't know what to think. Edward had made it clear that he didn't want her, and yet had left a reminder of his family in reach. There was no way that he could have believed that she'd never stumble across the uneven floorboard. And yet, there was no reason for him to not have believed that. In all honesty, if Leah hadn't laid down in the spot she laid down in, Bella doubts that she ever would have thought to lift that uneven board up.

I was doing so good, Bella thought. Thoughts of the Cullens had become few and far between. It still hurt, but it no longer felt like she had a hole in her chest. Now, though, she was torn open anew, no longer able to ignore the Cullens' presence in her life, not with the physical remnants of them just a few feet away.

Bella fell into a fitful sleep, her nightmares later tearing Charlie from his own slumber.

That weekend, Charlie and Bella head down to La Push. Charlie goes with Billy to watch the game, and Bella follows Jacob out to the garage, pulling her jacket tighter around her torso, not noticing Charlie's worried glance in her direction.

Bella enters then garage and immediately goes to a nearby stool, a seat that Jacob had pulled up just for her many weeks prior.

"It looks great, Jake," Bella says, nodding towards the almost finished Rabbit.

"Thanks!" Jacob says with a smile, although it quickly fades. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," Bella responds quickly, feeling anything but.

Jacob looks her over, noting the dark circles under Bella's eyes, the limpness of her hair. She looks like she's had a rough couple of days. He has no idea what could've happened, but he suggests, "When the Rabbit's done, we can go for a ride. You can get the experience first," to cheer her up.

"Maybe Leah's the one you should take out first," Bella smirks, managing to look smug despite the haggard look to her. Jacob flushed and quickly turned away, fiddling with a wrench.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on! You have to know that Leah likes you! She'll be upset if she isn't the first one to go for a ride in the Rabbit. Aren't things going good with you two?"

"They're good, I guess," Jacob signs, spinning back around on his stool to face her, tossing the wrench into the toolbox. The sound of metal hitting metal briefly drowned out the faint sound of Charlie and Billy shouting at the TV. "We watch movies, go for walks, that kind of stuff. Seth usually comes with us. She's always on edge, though, always looking over her shoulder."

Bella bit her lip, glancing away. Leah was no doubt making sure that Sam wasn't lurking around, ready to scare Jake away. Sam couldn't scare Seth away, as Bella doubted that anything could make Seth abandon his sister, but Jacob was already wary of Sam. Any more of Sam's unnerving attention, and Jacob might actually run for the hills.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Bella assured him. "She just out of a relationship, remember? She's probably just a bit nervous about the town gossip, since the whole Sam-Emily-Leah triangle is still a hot topic."

"That's true," Jacob mused, rubbing his chin. "Do you think she'd be willing to go out with me if I asked?"

Bella smiles, nudging Jake's foot with her own. "Why don't you ask her and find out?"

"So I was thinking this Friday we can go to the movies," Bella panted, slowing her jog down to a brisk walk. Around them, the lush green forest stretched on for miles. Part of her and Charlie's efforts to spend more time together included getting into shape as a team. And after spending Friday night inhaling pizza with Billy and Jacob, and Saturday eating food at the diner, they needed to burn off the calories. "It's been a while since we've been out."

"Actually," Charlie mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. He stops walking, and Bella follows him, frowning, as she leaned down to massage away the tightness in her calves. "I...I have a date Friday night. But I can cancel if you want!"

"You have a date?!" Bella shrieks, jerking upright so fast she felt a bit dizzy. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?! We have to plan your outfit! We need to work on your small talk! What's her name? What does she do? Where are you taking her?"

"Woah, Bells, slow down!"

"We might have to go shopping," Bella continued, spinning on her heel in the direction of the house and striding off, Charlie running to keep up with her. "Get you a nice shirt, something that isn't faded."

"Bella, relax," Charlie urged. "It's just a date. Just dinner and a movie."

"I'm so excited for you! I'm glad that you're getting out there, Dad. You never did tell me what her name was."

"Olivia Johnson," Charlie blushed. "She's a dentist out in Port Angeles, but she lives on the outskirts of Forks."

"How'd you two even meet?"

"I ran into her when I was picking up some things in Port Angeles," Charlie mumbled, cheeks still red. "I was trying to build up the courage to go talk to her when she came up to me. I managed to get myself together enough to ask her out. And here we are."

Bella smiled. Her dad had a dopey look on his face, and she couldn't recall ever seeing him like this. The two of them were very similar; they had difficulty expressing themselves and preferred to sit in silence. It was strange, but nice, to see him so excited about his date. Bella prayed it went well, afraid that a bad experience would drive her father even further into the world of an eternal bachelor.

"That's amazing, Dad." Bella said. "But don't think you're getting out of shopping. You have to look nice for your date."

"I can dress nice!" he protested.

"Mhm," Bella side eyed him before picking up the pace, jogging to dodge the swipe that came her way.

Charlie took off after her, the two of them breathless from their laughter as they ran home.

Bella waited about an hour after her father went to sleep to finally get out of bed. Avoiding the creaky spots in the floorboards, Bella locked her door. Going back to her bed, she sat down, crossed her legs, and placed her hands on her knees, palms down.

She closed her eyes, and tried to envision her shield.

It had first manifested that night in the alley, her physical shield at least. Her mental shield had apparently been present for quite some time. The main focus of tonight was to prove that she could expand her shield, the physical one at least. She didn't want to strain herself by trying to force progress on both at the same time.

She took a deep breath, and reached within.

Nothing, except...thoughts of the items stuffed under her floor.

Several days worth of poor sleeping and anxiety reached a crescendo in the worst way possible, filling Bella was an indescribable amount of rage. She was so angry, couldn't recall ever being so angry. She was getting over him, over them. She was healing, finally moving on with her life and building something that didn't revolve around her undead ex-boyfriend and his family. But of course it couldn't be that easy.

Of course Edward stuffed those things under her floor. After all, how else would he continue to have a hold over her? How would she ever be able to move on if Edward continued to dominate her life, her every thought? And wasn't that a bitch? Edward had promised, promised, that he'd leave and that she'd forget about him, and yet he left the CD, pictures, and tickets in the worst possible place, as if she would never, ever see that broken floorboard.

Did Edward think she was stupid? Did he think her human mind so weak, that she'd never eventually notice what he'd done? What's even worse, is that she couldn't even walk on a straight, flat surface without tripping. Obviously, she'd gotten better over the weeks as she and Charlie began to be active, but Edward didn't know that. For all he knew, she was the same, danger magnet he had known before. The floorboard, with the nail yanked out of him, would not have stayed down forever. Eventually, it would continue to rise as she continuously walked and stepped on it. She could have tripped and cracked her head open on the edge of her desk on that floorboard, or her dad could have tripped. Either way, there was simply no possible way that his actions would go unnoticed.

Bella was pissed.

So pissed, that something inside of her snapped.

An unseen forced ripped out of her, and as Bella screamed, vocalizing her rage, several things happened at the same time. Her bedroom window shattered, as did her floor length mirror, and her desk slammed into the opposite wall, majority of the contents crashing to the floor. Her bedroom door and closet door cracked so hard that stray pieces of wood littered the floor.

Heavy footsteps thundered her way, and her bedroom door flew open, the top part of it snapping and falling off. Her father stood in the doorway, gun in hand, gaping at the damage in her room.

Bella stared back, her own face reflecting the same shock. Her mind raced along with her heart, trying desperately to come up with a believable reason for her room to look like it's been hit by an earthquake. Charlie spluttered, lowering the gun as he stepped further in the room, trying to wrap his mind around the ruined room, and Bella sitting, unharmed, on her bed. Their eyes met once again, and Bella knew she had run out of time to lie her way out of this.

Shit.