Macey sat at her desk in the hotel suite, tapping away on her laptop. Having woken so late she threw herself into her article. Work was good. Work was a distraction. This new job was good. If she was busy then she didn't have chance to stop and think about Preston. She could just bury herself in her work, or she could look for somewhere to live. She could do anything she wanted. The thing was, all she really wanted was to see him again.
October brought cold weather and crisp autumn air. 3 weeks had passed since Macey had walked out of that hotel room. 3 weeks since Preston had ended things and let her walk out of his life. She hadn't heard a word from him. Not a phone call, not a text, nothing. He'd removed her from social media almost immediately. It was as if the last few years had never happened.
It wasn't like she was expecting to hear from him. She figured that was it. They were done now, no need for them to try and be friends. They both knew how that ended up last time. That's what got them into this mess. But it didn't matter now. They were done.
And yet, when she woke to the sound of knocking at her door at 3:25am, he was the first one to pop into her head. She climbed out of bed, wrapping a black cardigan around her. It was long, covering her pyjama shorts and stopping halfway down her thigh.
The floor felt cold under her feet as she hurried to the front door. She'd left the kitchen window open and it was freezing. There was a quick moment where she considered closing it before answering the door but the knocking was persistent and beginning to bother her. Whoever it was clearly didn't want to wait. She unlocked the door, taking a breath before opening it.
It wasn't exactly a shock to see him standing before her.
"I know I shouldn't be here" He sighed. He looked exhausted, almost drunk. His cheeks were flushed, probably from the cold air.
"Can I ask why you are, then?" Macey looked at him, leaning on the door. She tried to sound angry but her heart was fluttering,
"Can I come in?" He ran his hands through his hair, something she knew he did when he was nervous.
"Preston, I was asleep. You know it's 3am, right?"
"Please, Mace."
She sighed again, opening the door and letting him inside. As she closed the door behind them she flicked the light switch on.
"Have a seat" she said, gesturing to the couch as she walked into the kitchen. "Did you want anything?" She asked as he took a seat.
"Anything warm" he laughed a little.
Five minutes later, Macey emerged from the kitchen with two mugs of hot chocolate. She handed one to Preston and took a seat opposite him.
"I'm sorry" he began "I shouldn't have turned up here. I just started driving and before I knew it, I was outside. I couldn't just turn around. I had to see you."
"You couldn't have waited till daylight, no?" Macey asked, smiling a little.
"I shouldn't have said what I said."
"Is there a specific part you're referring to? Or just the whole thing?"
"I miss you." He blurted out and sat there looking as though he wished he could take it back.
Macey sighed. She missed him too. Of course, she did. But she couldn't do this again. "You didn't call" She spoke softly but he heard it loud and clear.
"I have to ask you something." He said, placing his mug of hot chocolate down on the glass coffee table.
Suddenly, a flash of the past flickered through Macey's mind. That last night in London. The look on his face. It was the same as the one he had right now.
"Preston I know what you're doing..."
"Hear me out, please? Just let me talk for a moment. I promise, you can say whatever you want after but just let me say this."
She nodded, deciding it was better to let him say his piece.
"I was right to call it quits. What we were doing, it wasn't working. We have to go all in."
"And Madeline?"
"I'll leave."
"Preston, you love her."
"I love you, Macey."
"Preston" she sighed. She pulled her cardigan around her tightly. "What are you saying?"
"Marry me" He said. And there it was again. He pulled out that same ring he'd offered her before they'd started college. He was down on one knee in her living room at nearly 4am.
"Preston, you know I can't"
"What's stopping you, Macey? College is nearly over and the world is waiting for us. Take a risk. Let yourself have something you want. We could go anywhere. We could do anything. The two of us against the world."
"It won't work" She sighed. "You're being ridiculous."
"I love you. That's not ridiculous." She could tell by the tone in his voice that he was getting angry. He was frustrated. But he wasn't seeing this for what it was.
"Have you left Madeline? Told her about everything?"
"Well, no. Not yet. But..."
"That's because you knew my answer before you asked me, Preston. And you know, you can't just stay with her for the sake of it. If you don't love her then leave."
"I do love her, Macey. It's just..."
"Don't even finish your sentence." She instructed, taking hold of her mug and walking into the kitchen. "I think you should leave now Preston. It's really early. I have to be in college early tomorrow."
"Macey..." He sighed, standing up and coming to her side. He placed his empty mug down on the counter.
"You called it quits." She spoke quietly, as if someone were listening. "I get why you did it, and that's fine. But you've done it. It's been weeks. You've gotta stick to it."
"It was a mistake, Macey."
"No. I don't think it was. Because you still love Madeline, you're still with Madeline and you came here in the middle of the night after not speaking to me for weeks. Do you expect me to just drop everything and marry you? You knew my answer four years ago, nothing has changed. I wish it had. I wish I felt like marrying you was the best thing for us both but I'd be lying if I said that I believed that. I'm sorry Preston."
A silence fell. Neither of them spoke for a minute or so. They just stood there, in her kitchen, as they had so many times before. This time, instead of dancing around the kitchen together they were just standing in silence. They both knew it was over.
"I should go." He mumbled.
"Yeah." She walked to the door, looking at the floor the whole time. "So maybe I'll see you around?"
"No, Mace. I don't think you will." He forced a smile as he walked out of the door. "Thanks, for the hot chocolate."
Macey didn't speak. She just nodded and smiled as he walked away from her. To an outsider, it may have seemed like Macey McHenry was calm. It may have seemed like she was happy to finally see him go. But anyone that knew Macey could see that, in that moment, her heart was breaking over and over again. She felt like a million tiny needles were pricking at her skin as she saw him step into the elevator.
Everything inside of her was screaming. Her mind was telling her to run after him and grab him. She wanted to kiss him and hug him and tell him she'd marry him. But she couldn't do that. She wasn't ready and he needed more. She couldn't give that to him. So she stood there, her cardigan wrapped around her thin frame as the cold October air flooded into her apartment from the hall. She watched as the elevator doors drew to a close, taking him downstairs. Taking him away and out of her life for good.
A new feeling emerged as she snapped herself out of this memory. Usually, flashbacks and memories of Preston left her feeling sad or angry or confused. Today was different. Today she felt empty. It was like she wanted to cry but couldn't. As she noticed this, the anger crept back in. How could she sit here, missing him, when she'd let him walk away? He probably didn't even give her a second thought anymore and she couldn't blame him for that. It was easy for Macey to convince herself that Preston didn't care. It was easy for her to pretend that if she hadn't have seen him yesterday then she'd be less upset. She knew deep down that that wasn't the truth.
The truth was, regardless of whether she'd seen him yesterday or today or never again, she would still think about him every day of her life. She'd let him live rent free in her head for too long and now she'd never get him out. It was futile.
Throwing herself back into her work, she tapped away on her laptop once again. Thoughts of sculptures and art and what it meant to New York swirled around her mind. It was an easy distraction. This was a city that she knew too well, which made writing about it much easier.
Time flew by as Macey wrote and wrote, taking breaks only for coffee and refusing to let her mind wander. Before she knew it, her first draft was finished. Her stomach rumbled loudly as she looked over at her phone. She'd been writing for hours. It was definitely time for a break. She considered ordering takeout and looking at apartments online but it was only 7pm and she figured she could use the fresh air. It was simple moments like this that made Macey really realise how far she'd come. Once a makeup obsessed, boy-crazy fashion icon, she would have never let herself leave the suite without being fully dressed up. Maybe it was the overwhelming sense of hunger or just the fact that she'd matured, but the thought of dressing up to go out and get food didn't even cross her mind as she pulled her grey Columbia sweater over her head. Pairing it with black skinny jeans and boots, she tossed her hair up into a high ponytail and was ready to go within less than 15 minutes.
It was one of those walks that got away from her. She didn't really know where she was heading, she just kept walking, crossing the street or turning occasionally. She wasn't even thinking about anything, she wasn't distracted and her mind wasn't wandering. Her focus was purely on the city. She'd missed it more than she'd ever realised. The hustle and bustle, the people, the lights. She tried to take it all in properly as she kept walking. Then, before she knew it, she was sat on a bench next to the East River looking out across the water. The sun was slowly beginning to set on the other side of the city and the sky was starting to look almost pink. It was mostly quiet around her. There was a family sitting a few benches down from her, a couple and two young children who were running around with sticks in their hands, but they weren't noisy. The sound of the water calmed her. She closed her eyes and allowed herself exactly one minute to think about Preston. When she stopped and thought about him like this, it was like she could almost feel him close to her. It was insane, she knew that. He could be anywhere in this city and the chances of them bumping into each other for a second time was pretty unlikely. At least, she hoped it was unlikely. She didn't think she'd be able to hold herself back from running after him if they met in the street again.
As she opened her eyes, she felt like she was being watched. This was an uncomfortable feeling for anyone, but for someone who'd trained at a school for spies this made Macey uneasy. She stood up from the bench and walked, slowly, along the river path. As she stood up, she glanced around in every direction. Nothing. But then she remembered that there'd been nothing all those other times she'd felt like this. She tried to put it to the back of her mind. She was out of the game. She hadn't joined the CIA or the Secret Service or anything like that, although she definitely could have done. Her father had gotten out of politics. She wasn't a target anymore. Nobody had any good reason to follow her. So why couldn't she shake the feeling of being tailed?
A rumble in her stomach brought her back to the original purpose of her journey. Food. On her way back up from the river, she passed so many places that looked and smelled amazing, most of which looked full. As she turned a corner a few blocks away from her hotel, she stumbled upon an Italian restaurant that she could've sworn she'd been to before. She was seated fast at a little table in the corner by the window. Now she was inside she felt safer. Nothing would happen here, although she knew very well that it could. It was unlikely that a trained criminal was following her, probably just some idiot, so she assumed she'd lost them. She told herself that they were gone. She'd get a cab home just to be sure because it was getting dark. For the first time in years, Macey almost felt afraid. Was this just her overactive imagination? Could she even trust her instincts anymore? She hadn't had any kind of training or practice for 5 years, what good were her instincts?
But that little voice in the back of her head was taunting her. What if she had been followed? What if they were still following her? And worse, what the hell did they want?