Chapter 7

When the Capitol anthem played its final notes I was up and out of the room. I was so embarrassed. Hudson got an eight and me? I got a five. I hadn't been expecting much for my score. But a five? I knew that my time with the Gamemakers wasn't spectacular but I had hoped that it would be better than a five. Nobody from District Four did so badly. I knew that my chance of getting a lot of sponsors was shot and my chance of outlasting the others was gone too.

It had been humiliating having to sit there through the rest of the scores with everyone's eyes on me. I could feel them staring even though nobody said anything about my score. I knew what they were thinking without them having to say anything. Finnick must have been wishing that Hudson was his tribute, not me. I knew that I had disappointed him and he was going to have a harder time keeping me alive.

I found myself up on the roof again. It was quickly becoming the place that I felt safest and felt most like my home. It wasn't the beach but standing amongst the flowers and watching all of the people go about their lives brought me some sort of peace in the same way that the waves hitting the shore brought me peace. I got lost watching the cars go by and the people carrying shopping bags as they went back home. What were their lives like? What did it feel like to be free to live your life without having to worry about the Games?

"Hey."

I nearly jumped expecting to see Finnick, but I furrowed my brows when I saw Hudson. "I thought that you were Finnick. What're you doing here?"

"The same thing you're doing, I 'spose," he said.

"Right."

"Just a few more days, huh?"

"Yeah," I said, my stomach dropping at the thought. After tonight we would be in the arena in three days and I couldn't believe it. The days had been going by in a blur and she only had two full days before the Games started. "Did…did anybody say anything?" I knew that he would know what I was talking about.

"No," Hudson replied. He looked over at me and I looked away, my cheeks pink with embarrassment. "The scores don't matter, Annie."

"That's coming from the guy who got an eight," I retorted, realizing that it sounded more bitter than I had intended. I had meant it in a teasing way, but…it came out bitter and jealous.

"There's more to winning the Games than brute strength. We all know that the Gamemakers love a good show. But remember that tribute a few years ago from Eight? They were the underdog and they got like a three. And they still won because they hid out the whole time."

I just shrugged. Most of the victors were tributes like Hudson and Finnick. They weren't like me. It was just how it was.

"Come on, you're telling me that your strategy with Finnick isn't to just run off into the woods and hide? I remember when we were kids, you used to be the best at hide and seek. None of us could ever find you. You remember that, don't you?" Hudson asked.

"I…I didn't think that you would remember that," I replied softly.

It felt like a lifetime ago our childhood. Even though me and Hudson had never been good friends, we had been neighbors and our moms had always been friends. We would spend hours playing tag and hide and seek while our moms talked after school. It had been before they separated us into kids who would go to the Academy and the kids who wouldn't. It had been before my dad's accident and before everything got so complicated.

"Of course I did," Hudson replied softly with a shrug. "It was part of my childhood too, you know? All of us playing together."

Some of us had gone to the Games never to come back. Our group of friends and people our age had dwindled over the past seven or so years. And Hudson and I were about to potentially join our friends that had come before us. Some had volunteered like Hudson and some were like me, reaped but not prepared for the Games.

We were both silent, lost in thoughts of people that we had known a long time ago. People that had properly stood here just like me and Hudson. I watched from my perch as Hudson walked towards the edge of the building and stared out at the people walking by. He turned back towards me a few moments later with a look of disgust on his face.

"They just go about their lives with no regard for what we're about to go through. It's all just a game to them. They don't care who lives or dies so long as they get a show. It makes me sick," Hudson seethed his eyes blazing with anger. "They go about their lives without even feeling guilty for all of the blood on their hands. All of them. They're complicit in all of this."

I looked at him in surprise. He was verbalizing everything that I had been thinking but had been unable to put into words. But it was a shock to hear the words coming from him of all people. He had trained to be in the Games and she had always thought that he would want to be in the Games to bring honor to his family but she had never heard someone from the Academy talk about the Games in that way, with so much hatred in their eyes.

"But you volunteered, I thought—"

"That I was like the others? That I was like Apollo? You don't know me, Annie. You don't know anything about me."

"I didn't think that you were anything like Apollo. I just…I thought…" I trailed off as I started to watch him pace back and forth on the rooftop. "I don't know what I thought. I'm sorry."

Hudson shook his head. "It's fine." He looked away for a few moments. "I couldn't let that kid die. You saw him, he was terrified. He would never make it past the bloodbath. Did you know that he's the oldest of seven? His dad died a few years back…they need him. I couldn't let him go, not when I've been training for years for this. That's why I got an eight, Annie. They've been training us to do this my entire life."

I was silent as I looked over at him. He wasn't what I expected. And I felt bad for assuming the worst of him and of not trying to get to know him these past few days. If I didn't win I hoped that Hudson would. He deserved it.

I couldn't stop thinking about the things that Hudson had said about the Capitol people and the Games. On the roof, it hadn't seemed so dangerous but now while I was lying in bed? I realized that if anybody had heard Hudson say those things…he would probably be dead already. And would I have been to just for hearing what he had to say? I felt guilty for not getting to know him more when I had the chance and for avoiding him while we were in the Capitol. But now…it seemed like it was too late.

After spending what felt like hours staring up at the ceiling in my room I pushed myself out of bed. I needed some water and a change of scenery. I pulled on some shoes and walked out of my room and into the small kitchen that was off to the side. I got myself a glass of water and stood near the counter. I glanced at the clock and sighed. It was nearly three in the morning. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, Cassia had said that she was going to start with me and I was dreading it. I was willing to do whatever I had to to impress the Capitol and prepare for my interview but I wasn't looking forward to any of it.

From the other room, I could hear the elevator doors open and I glanced at the clock again. Who was coming in so late? I could hear someone stumble in and knock something over in the other room. I put my glass of water down on the counter and walked out of the kitchen and into the main space and saw Finnick standing there, a vase broken on the floor.

"Annie!" Finnick exclaimed smiling.

"Have you been drinking?" I asked my eyes wide. Finnick was drunk the night before he was supposed to help me with the interviews.

"No," Finnick slurred with a laugh.

"Uh huh, sure," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

I walked over to him and sighed. I glanced at the glass shards on the ground and stepped around them, glad that I had thought to put my shoes on before I came out.

"Come on, Finnick, let's get you to bed," I told him. I wrapped my arm around him and he immediately leaned into me and I nearly fell over. "Jeez you're heavier than you look," I muttered as I started to guide us towards his room.

"So pretty," he told me, playing with my hair.

"Uh huh," I said distractedly as I continued to bring him towards his room. "Let's go, almost to your room, Finnick."

I was glad when we finally got to his room. I pushed the door open and helped him over to his bed. He collapsed down onto the bed and I leaned over and pulled his shoes off. I eyed him and refused to change him out of his clothes so I decided that he could just sleep in the same outfit that he was wearing.

"What were you even doing tonight?" I asked, sure that he wasn't going to answer.

"Can't tell you," he muttered, curling up in his bed facing me.

"Okay…" I trailed off, biting down on my lip, unsure. I noticed a sadness in Finnick's eyes that I had never seen before. "You need to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

I started to walk towards the door to go clean up the glass on the floor and then I was going to get my water and try to sleep. I was at the door and was about to pull it open when I heard Finnick stir.

"Don't go," Finnick whispered.

"What?" I asked, turning to face him.

"Stay with me," he mumbled, half asleep.

"Finnick…" I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Why did Finnick want me to stay? And why did I want to? I knew that I needed to get some sleep, tomorrow was going to be a long day, but looking back at Finnick, he looked so sad and I didn't want to leave him. So I dropped my hand from the doorknob and I walked back over to Finnick. I sat on the edge of his bed and looked down at him.

"I'll stay for a few minutes," I said.

"Good," Finnick whispered before turning over and falling asleep.

I moved so my back was against the wall and I looked down at Finnick as he slept. Where was Finnick tonight? And why was he drunk? I knew that I should be angry at him for being drunk when we were supposed to do interview prep tomorrow, but he looked so sad that I couldn't bring myself to be angry with him. But why was he looking so sad? And why did he want me to stay with him?

I knew that I should get up now that he was asleep and get to bed but my mind was still racing a thousand miles a minute. I had so many questions for Finnick but I didn't think that he would answer them. Slowly I felt my eyes start to droop and I curled up on Finnick's bed.

I jolted awake confused about my surroundings. I looked over at Finnick and felt my heart start to pound. What time was it? I was sure that that was against the rules and if someone found out…well, I wasn't sure what would happen. I didn't want to find out. I quickly and quietly climbed over Finnick and made my way towards the door. I looked back at him. Would he remember what had happened last night? I wasn't sure.

I quietly opened the door and looked back at Finnick. He was still sleeping. I stepped back out into the living room and quickly made my way back to my room. I could see that the sun was just starting to come up, and I was glad that nobody was awake yet. I climbed into my bed and quickly fell back asleep.