Chapter 8.

My nervousness reached a completely new level as he kept looking at me, his eyes burning. I did not only feel heated, I knew my cheeks were blushing right now. I moved a little more on my seat, trying to get comfortable, knowing I would not while sitting here.

'You seem nervous. Is it because of me?' He sounded calm, collected. But his eyes told me he would get his answers tonight.

Feelings are such a weird thing. I knew I needed to stay calm too. To keep everything together, but for some reason, this man was making me wobble in all my certainty. The air was loaded with tension when he was in the room and even breathing seemed a task itself. I took a large breath of air and then adverted my eyes before I spoke, studying my plate.

'The dress was a gift.' I was still not looking at the captain, until I heard him move in his seat. I had to look up to see if he was becoming more of a threat by moving closer to me. I saw he was leaning back a little, had made himself even more comfortable on his chair, as if this was going to be a long night. But his eyes distracted me most, they held a little bit of mockery, I thought.

Well, you asked captain…

'A gift you say. A gift from who, exactly?' I licked my dry lips. This was no hurtful chapter of my life, but to me it was an annoying one. And I just didn't feel like talking about it, especially not with such a dangerous person like captain Salazar. But I knew I had no choice in the matter, he seemed determined to talk with me. Even when it would cost him all evening.

'From someone I'd rather not speak about, sir.' However I tried to sound calm and not agitated, the last word held a little venom. I saw the captain noticed that too and his lips formed an amused grin. Was there anything in the world that would bring him out of balance?

'Ah, perhaps because there is a suiter, quizás?' I quickly opened my mouth to rectify that thought of him, but he beat me to it. He was still amused, it seemed, but there was a certain sharpness to his voice, that didn't go unnoticed by me.

'I must warn you señorita, I do not care for lies of any sort. I want the truth only, Por favor.'

I sighed deeply and then kept looking at him as I said:

'There was a regular customer in madame Cherries store and he-' I had to swallowed before I continued, not liking the intensity of the captains eyes.

'The man took a liking to you?' The captain asked. I bit my lip.

'I usually cleaned before the store would open up or somewhere close to closing time. But there was a gentleman who kept coming on the most inappropriate times. Madame Cherrie and I learned he had a way of stalking young girls-' Especially ones without a family. He knew to follow the weaker ones. But I was not going to share that with the captain just yet.

When the captain did not respond right away, I had to meet his eyes to see what he was thinking about it. I had expected to see doubt in his eyes about my words, or maybe irritation. But not pure anger, his hands formed to fists on his lap, while his eyes never left mine. Was he angry with me?

'It went on for quite some time and he kept sending me gifts. Luckily, he did not know where I lived, so he never could find me outside of work. But it was scary all the same. I never opened any of the gifts and just left them in the store. Eventually he stopped following me at work, after me and Madame Cherrie told him I wasn't interested at least a hundred times.'

I noticed the captain was sitting still, very still. It was almost if he was trying to keep himself in check and I wondered what in my story was bothering him so much he got this agitated and angry. The silence was only making the tension rise more so I did what I always did when I felt uncomfortable with someone. I rambled on.

'Madame Cherrie told me to learn from the experience, and to not waste a good dress. It took me months to understand I could use a good, fitting dress and forget the person who gave it to me. So, after a while I could wear it without thinking about him.'

It made me scared when the captain was still not responding to what I told him, especially after he had been so talkative just before, almost interrupting me every sentence. What was going on in that dark, stern mind?

'How long have you been on your own, living above that shop, miss Gray?' I grew cold hearing him finally speak. This man was too smart to be outwitted by me. He would not let me fool him.

He is not taking the bait…. Shit!

'For some time,' I very softly said. I saw his eyes turn even darker as one of his hands went to his chin, moving it over his jaw, before he let it drop to his lap again.

'Remember what I said, miss Gray. No lies. No detours either. How long.' I sighed and looked at my hands in my lap as I spoke.

'Three years.' I was shocked when suddenly the captain moved his chair back quite forcefully, standing up, making me feel even smaller.

'You have been living on your own since you were nothing more than sixteen, Por el amor de Dios!'

I was getting a little scared just now and felt my heartbeat rise up.

Yes, he seems pretty angry with me now… But why?

I feared him more now he stood and had raised his voice. He shook his head and walked over towards the window, staring at the dark sky and the restless sea. I swallowed and decided to wait a moment. Maybe he would turn around and sit down again. Maybe he was not really angry with me…

But like always I could not handle the tension for long and while he kept standing at the window, not watching me, I started talking about what I knew he wanted to know.

'My parents died just before I moved in that little shop above Madame Cherrie. I had been roaming the streets for some time before she found me. I had no family to take me in. It was not a choice to leave my home.' I saw the captain flex his muscles, taking in my words, before he turned, and his eyes landed on mine. Suddenly he seemed a little older, more tired than he had seemed before. Had learning of my life been that much of a burden to him?

'I have been lucky to find Madame Cherrie and I still am forever grateful she gave me that job, even if I cannot buy dresses or fabrics to make them, she still is paying me more than any other would. She gave me a home. She made me feel welcome.' I looked away and hoped that he would now let me go and stopped questioning me. I was completely worn out. I never liked to tell people about my past. It hurt thinking about my parents, because I loved and really missed them so much.

'I apologize if I startled you, miss Gray. That was not my intention, nor appropriate.' That did make me look up to meet his gaze. Was he apologizing?

I nodded once.

'Thank you. Can I go to my cabin now, sir?' He walked over towards his chair, but never broke eye contact with me.

'What happened to your parents, señorita Gray?' I swallowed and sighed deeply. I already felt the tears burning behind my eyes and I really had no intention to cry in front of this man. But I just couldn't stop the tears, that already fell from my lashes. I was so tired, and my life was completely upside down. Maybe I deserved this little pity party, if only for a moment.

He was not urging me any further, he just waited. I wiped my tears away but made sure not to look at him. Ashamed of crying in front of him and feeling worn down. I felt like my emotions were not even mine anymore, they just were so intense. My heart hurt.

'Our house was set on fire late at night. I slept downstairs. I could get out on time.' I felt more tears trickle down my cheeks, but I wiped them away quickly. I was not paying attention to anything anymore and froze when I felt a handkerchief gently wipe over my cheeks. The captain sat beside my chair, kneeled, his one hand on the kerchief, the other on the arm of my chair. He was so close I could smell him. Spicy. It was the first thing I noticed about his scent. I hated to admit it made me feel a little more at ease.

'There's no shame in tears shed over loved ones, miss Gray. I hope you know that.'

I nodded bravely and moved a bit backwards as he once again wiped away fresh tears, this time using his thumb.

'You have not had it easy in your past and you are once again in quite the predicament now, I realize. That would be hard on anyone miss Gray.' I felt his hand on my arm, before I'd even seen him move. He gave me a gentle nudge, before he stroked my arm and stood again, walking over towards the cabinet and taking two glassed from it.

If I had been confused before, I was completely lost now. Did he just comfort me?

'Let's have a little drink, so you will sleep better, hmm?' He poured a golden liquid in the glassed and returned to me, handing me one of the glassed that I took with a shaky hand.

'Salud.' I tried a small sip as the captain walked back to his chair and sat down. I had no clue what the liquid was, but it burned down my throat, a feeling I welcomed as it took the sour taste from my mouth.

For a moment we sat in silence and it was the first time that I found it not necessary to fill the silence between us with words. I did not know how, but the tension in the air suddenly had become bearable and almost comfortable.

It was only after I had finished my drink and I looked at him, he broke the tension.

'I will escort you back to your cabin, miss Gray. Come.'

I was not so sure what to think about the captain and his actions. But he had been right in one thing. The moment my head touched my pillow, I fell into a deep, deep sleep. One I desperately needed.

§§§§§§§§

I slept so deep, waking up I had to take a few minutes to know where I was again. I heard the sea and the sounds of the sailors on deck, before knocking on my door wakened me even more. I quickly sat up straight, just in time to watch Diego walk into my cabin, once again a little tray in his hands with some bread and water on it.

'Buenos dias señorita, I hope you slept well?' He gave me a smile and then placed the tray on the nightstand, lingering a little. I nodded and returned his smile. I studied the young man and realised he was not only my age, and pretty young, but rather good looking as well. Back on land he must have been good with the young girls, his friendly eyes and dark hair adding up to a handsome appearance.

'I have, thank you Diego. How are you doing?' His smile grew even wider.

'Very well señorita, maybe today I can lead you around deck? Hmm?' I sat up even straighter. That sounded good.

'Do you think the captain would allow that?' I suddenly remembered last night's events all too clearly and felt my heart sink a little. The captain had seen me at my worst and now knew of my deepest secrets. Would he hold them against me?

Diego grinned.

'There is one way to found out. Our Capitán is not a monster who hides young señorita's like yourself away. And I will be with you until you safely return to your cabin.' He gave me a wink that made me smile even broader.

'That sounds really lovely.' He grinned.

'Maybe you should eat first, then dress. I will come for you in an hour or so. I have a few tasks to finish and then my shift is over.' I saw he was almost as excited as I was and wondered what the stroll on deck would be to him. But my thoughts didn't linger on the subject, I was too eager to get out in the sunlight and watch the ship with my own eyes.

§§§§§§§

True to his word, Diego came for me not more than an hour later. He seemed eager to show me around and extended his arm for me to take. With a smile I placed my hand on his arm and let him guide me out of my cabin.

'It is a good day to be outside señorita, the sea is much more at ease than the days before.' I liked listening to Diego explain some parts of the ship and the tasks of the crew as we slowly walked around the main deck. The ship was extremely huge, and I wondered how on earth someone could steer it safely into any port.

'How did you end up on the Silent Mary, Diego?' I asked him, my eyes sometimes lingering on some of the crewmembers who looked at me with surprised eyes.

I saw mischief appear in Diego's eyes as he curled his lips to answer me, but at the last moment I saw him straighten his face. It was as if he had never smiled before. He came to and sudden halt, making me stop too. I wondered what on earth had gotten into him, until I saw captain Salazar walk up to us, only stopped a few steps away, his eyes burning on Diego, for they found me.

'Y cuál es el significado de esto, marinero.' (And what is the meaning of this, sailor?)

I could not help wondering how this man, whose voice sounded so angry and dark, had sounded so gentle to me just last night. Had it been the same man that had tried to comfort me, I wondered. I really wanted to take a step back, unsure of what was said and how high the tension would rise.

I saw Diego look at his captain, before he spoke. I noticed his deep intake of air before he did. Was his captain making him nervous too?

'Voy a sacar a la señorita a pasear, capitán. La devolveré a salvo a su cabaña después.' (I am taking the miss for a walk, captain. I will return her safely to her cabin afterwards.)

If I had thought captain Salazar was angry when he first walked towards us, he was royalty pissed of right now. His eyes seemed to hold a certain fire that made me want to run and hide. But I stood my ground, but after looking into his eyes, I did look away, not sure how much of that heated passion I could take.

'Asegúrese de devolverla a salvo. Discutiremos sus acciones más tarde.' (Make sure to return her safely. We will discuss this later.)

I could not follow their rapid Spanish conversation, but I could feel how tensed Diego had become. I could feel the heated look of the captain on me and had to look up to meet his eyes.

'Until dinner, señorita Gray.' He nodded once and then walked off. I wondered what he had gotten so fuelled up about.

'Why was he so angry?' I asked Diego as the captain had left our sight. Diego swallowed hard before he spoke, his tone softer than before.

'I think he was just worried, señorita, nothing more. He may seem strict and hard on the outside, but he is a very skilled leader.' I searched Diego's face for a trace of a lie but found none. Could it be the captain had been worried about me? But why?

For a few moments more, Diego let me around the ship, while I enjoyed the light breeze and sun on my skin. I almost felt happy again, for a moment forgotten what had happened to me and where I was.

Unfortunately, soon after the little happy time, Diego walked me back to my cabin and said his goodbyes before he had to get back to his chores and I was left to my own devices once more.

I was almost happy when firm knocking came to my door and I watched the captain himself enter my cabin. He seemed calmer than hours before, his eyes instantly landing on me, this time a little less dark.

'I take it you enjoyed your time on deck, si?' I noticed he did sound friendlier than out on deck this afternoon, but there was something different in the tone he used. I just didn't know what it was.

'I did sir, I really loved to feel the sun and the breeze once more.' He nodded and then walked around the cabin, stopping before the desk where my little book lay open. The drawing of the sea creatures I was making was far from perfect, but it was work in progress. He let his finger glide over a seahorse, before he spoke, his back turned towards me.

'It is good to breathe in fresh air. You should take a daily round out on the deck. It will do you good, I think.'

I felt my heart flutter for a bit. He seemed so angry just hours before and now he was telling me it was alright for me to leave the cabin? I could not wait to tell Diego and hoped he would have time for me somewhere in his schedule.

I watched the captain turn around, leaning against the desk, studying me.

'I would like that very much, thank you for letting me.' He nodded.

'You are welcome señorita. It will give us the opportunity to talk more and learn more about each other. Beneficioso para los dos, espero.'

That- changed the feeling I had about getting outside and be carefree. When I would be with Diego I could relax for a bit, but with the captain… it would be some sort of challenge and stressful. And then to mention the tension that was already growing around us… I was not so sure I liked his offer. Maybe I should revisit the idea completely, now knowing who my chaperone would be.

'If it is too much trouble I can just stay in here. I do not want to cause your men or you any inconvenience, sir.' I saw his lip twitch in the corner of his mouth. Like I had said something that he did not like. Something that bothered him even, maybe.

'You didn't enjoy your time on deck today?' He sounded genuinely interested and I just knew he would not let this topic rest that easily.

'I did, sir. But I don't want to force myself on you and put you in a difficult position.' The captain took a step closer and rested his hands behind his back.

'You wouldn't. Are you ready to accompany me to our diner?' He said as he guided me towards the dining room, his smile not faltering. He pulled out the chair for me and gently shove it in.

I was not sure what I felt more nervous about. Once again, I was sitting across from the stern captain, but this time I knew I would not just see him during dinner every day, but he would accompany me for daylight walks around deck.

But why though? Why didn't he just let Diego escort me?

Who is still reading? I would love to hear your thoughts!

English translations:

Quizás – Perhaps

Por el amor de Dios – For heavens sake

Salud – Cheers

Beneficioso para los dos, espero. - Beneficial to us both, I hope.