Chapter 8: We buried him beneath the willow
This chapter was inspired by the song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss.
Two weeks later
Rayna was standing under the old willow in the backyard of the lake house supported by Bucky and Scarlett. They were looking at the small hole with Deacon's urn in it. They had decided that they were going to have a small family funeral as they had figured that Deacon would have wanted it that way. So the only people they were expecting were Teddy with Peggy and the girls and Beverly. The preacher had already arrived.
Bucky took a look at his watch. "It's almost half past ten, the others should be arriving any minute now."
"I wonder why Momma isn't here yet, normally she's always way too early," Scarlett said.
She turned around as she heard steps approaching.
"Speak of the devil, literally," she whispered.
No matter the tragic circumstances, Bucky couldn't help smiling a little at that comment.
"Hi my sweet girl," Beverly said with false sweetness, hugging Scarlett and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"Hi Momma," Scarlett replied coldly.
"I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Mrs. O'Connor," Bucky said.
"Thank you Sir, but do you know who should really feel sorry? Her! It's all her fault!" she hissed pointing at Rayna.
"Stop it, Momma!" Scarlett begged.
"I...I...didn't want...," Rayna stuttered with tears welling up in her eyes.
"You are the reason he started drinking again!"
"Enough, Momma, stop it!" Scarlett shouted, pulling Beverly away from Bucky and Rayna.
"Don't let that get to you Ray," Bucky said handing Rayna a tissue.
"But...she's right."
"Don't you ever think that! You tried everything to save him."
"I made him start drinking again, Bucky!" Rayna burst into tears.
Bucky hugged her tightly. "Oh Ray, that's not true, don't do that to yourself...come on let's sit down for a while," he said leading her to the row of black chairs behind them.
"You're not gonna tell me what to do young lady! It is so typical for you, that you're on her side!" Beverly said glaring at Scarlett.
"Momma", Scarlett sighed. "I don't wanna fight with you, please. Deacon wouldn't want this. He would want his family to stick together now."
"Rayna's not part of our family, and she never will be."
"To me, she is family." Scarlett turned away from Beverly and walked back to Bucky and Rayna.
"Fine, go, that's always been your favorite thing to do!" Beverly shouted after her.
Scarlett shook her head without turning around.
"I'm so sorry, Rayna," Scarlett whispered hugging Rayna.
"I ...I...never wanted to hurt him."
"I know... It's not your fault. Momma's just very good at blaming others."
A few minutes later, Teddy, Peggy and the girls arrived.
"I'm really sorry Rayna, if you need anything...," Teddy said hugging Rayna.
"Yes, if we can do anything to help you, just let us know," Peggy added.
"That's sweet, thank you. You've already done so much by letting the girls stay with you," Rayna answered.
"Oh, don't worry, it's a real pleasure for us, right darling?" Peggy said looking at Teddy.
"Absolutely," he nodded.
"Mom, I've missed you so much!" Daphne whispered hugging Rayna tightly. Maddie rolled her eyes.
"I've missed you too, sweet girl," Rayna answered kissing her on the cheek.
Maddie walked past Rayna without even looking at her and hugged Scarlett.
"I'm so sorry for your loss Scarlett. I know how much he meant to you."
"Thanks, Maddie. And I'm really sorry that the two of you didn't have more time together."
Maddie started crying and when Rayna tried to hug her she pushed her away.
"Don't touch me!"
"Maddie, I..."
"Please just leave me alone." Then she turned to Teddy. "Can we sit down over there," she said pointing at the other side of the row of chairs, where Beverly had sat down in the meantime. "I can't be close to Mom right now."
"Maddie, she's your mother and she misses him just as much as you do," Teddy said.
"Dad, please, I can't."
"Ok, let's go."
"Can I stay here with Mom?" Daphne asked.
"Of course, Sweetie," Teddy answered while Maddie rolled her eyes again. As they walked away, Teddy turned around mouthing "I'm sorry" to Rayna who nodded at him sobbing heavily.
"I love you, Mom," Daphne said hugging Rayna tightly.
"I love you too, Baby Girl."
A few minutes later, the service started. It was a beautiful service, but Rayna missed most of it as she was lost in her thoughts about Deacon. "This can't be true," she thought. "I can't really be sitting at his funeral. He can't be dead. I need him. I'm nothing without him. Why wasn't I able to save him?"
"Rayna?" Scarlett was looking at her.
"I'm sorry…what did you say?"
"Are you sure that you want to do this?" Scarlett asked.
"What?"
"Your eulogy for Deacon."
Rayna nodded. "Oh…sure…I have to, or I'll regret it forever. After all, that's the last thing I'll ever be able to do for him. But could you…I mean…..would it be ok, if you came out to the front with me?"
"Of course, Rayna."
While the preacher stepped aside, the two women got up to the front. Rayna was clinging to Scarlett.
"Deacon Claybourne was the love of my life. I am so grateful for everything that he has done for me and most of all," Rayna started sobbing, "most of all for our daughter, Maddie, who is the greatest gift he gave to me."
Maddie started to cry.
"Deacon and I always had this magical connection that would keep us together, no matter how far we were apart, no matter if we were arguing or not talking to each other at all, I always felt….." Rayna's voice broke and Scarlett caressed her back. "I…I…always felt like he was there with me and…he was. He was always there with me, because he was always there for me but….." Rayna started sobbing heavily. "But I wasn't...I…I let him down."
Suddenly Rayna's knees got weak and she felt like everything was spinning. Bucky realized that something was wrong and rushed to her. He and Scarlett managed to catch Rayna as she started tumbling.
"Ray, can you hear me? We got you, ok?"
"I'm so sorry."
"I think it's better, if you sit down, come on, Ray."
Bucky and Scarlett led Rayna back to her seat, while she kept whispering "I'm sorry, Deacon."