Noah, the Schemer

by Stupidity Vaccine

A slight schism in the World Tour timeline. In his last few minutes on the show, Noah manages to find the inspiration to take action and escape elimination. What will happen with Noah at the helm of Team Chris? How will the season progress? Could anything else happen? And how long can the lazy bookworm escape misfortune?

8. Chinese Fake-Out

Ni hao, and welcome to China!

I have a huge elephant in the room to address: this story has a page on TV Tropes! I had a dumb grin on my face the whole time I was reading the page's list of tropes. I am a huge fan of TV Tropes, I used to get lost on there all the time, and I'm genuinely honored to see "Noah the Schemer" make it on there. Thank you so much, to the creator(s) and editor(s) of the page, as well as everyone for reading!

With that said, there were once again some writing decisions that I made that I didn't explain in my post-chapter wrap-up like I usually do … again, I may have just been very eager to get the dang thing out!

So! Noah and Sierra! I really played around with Sierra's role in my story, especially without Cody. I am well aware that I have incited groans from those unfavorably remembering Sierra's psychotic interactions with Cameron in "All Stars," so, just to clarify: In her heart of hearts, Sierra knows Noah isn't Cody (she calls him "New Cody" and references the old Cody) but, in this chaotic, scary, post-merge environment, if Sierra can't have Cody for comfort, she craves a scrawny, geeky, Codyesque figure … Noah is the closest to that. XD

Trust me, the last thing I want to replicate is "Total Drama All-Stars," so even though I think Sierra's character is generally a bit crazy, please don't see my iteration of Sierra as some kind of unhinged lunatic. In fact, in this chapter … well, I've said too much …

That's all I've got, so without further ado, let's see what happens next!

Courtney and Tyler sat on opposite sides of the aisle in luxury class, looking out of their respective windows. A massive wedding cake - their reward for victory - sat, partially eaten, at a table near the front of the room.

"So!" Courtney initiated conversation. Tyler looked at her, seemingly shocked that the CIT would try and talk to him. "Can I ask you something about your old team?"

"Uh, yeah, shoot!" Tyler said.

Courtney rubbed the back of her head as a blush came over her. "Well … what was Alejandro like? I'm, um, asking for purely strategic purposes, of course."

Tyler thought this over. "Well, he was pretty much our team's leader. He did a pretty good job at that, I guess. We lost sometimes, but it was mostly Team Victory. Then, when he got eliminated, we lost in Greece and Australia, so maybe that was because we didn't have him guiding us?"

Courtney pretended to be interested in this. "Mm-hm. Mm-hm. But what was he like, y'know, as a person?"

"Uhhh … he was nice. Had a way with the ladies," Tyler noted. Courtney opened her eyes in shock, but said nothing. "Yeah, just a really charming dude, really."

"Yeah, I'll say …" Courtney let her eyes wander back to the window. While staring out into the clouds, her mind grew a bit uneasy.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"A way with the ladies, huh?" Courtney mulled over Tyler's description. "I mean, Alejandro is totally hot stuff … but I think it's fair to say I need a man who isn't going to be keeping other options open. Especially not after … nope, not bringing him up. But take a guess."

==CONFESSIONAL==

Tyler smiled calmly. "Haha, alright! Courtney doesn't hate me! Now all I need to do is make sure the others don't hate me, and it's smooth sailing from here on out! Good thing I've got Alejandro watching my back, huh?"

Alejandro leaned against the wall to luxury class, slyly eavesdropping onto Courtney and Tyler's conversation.

"Economy not good enough for you?" Alejandro perked up as Heather approached, a teasing smirk on her face. "I mean, sheesh, you're only back one challenge."

"And what a challenge it was!" Alejandro winked.

"Ugh, drop dead!" Heather looked away. "Besides, if it wasn't for David and Goliath, we might have actually ended up sitting in first class."

"I know I'll end up there sooner or later," Alejandro grinned. "Perhaps I'll take you with me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Mm, make of it what you will," Alejandro shrugged, as he walked to the confessional.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Flirting with Heather is just so enjoyable, it will be hard to turn off the brakes after only just returning to the game," Alejandro chuckled. "But I must, if I am to win the trust of Courtney."

Noah sat in between Owen, who was fast asleep, and Sierra, who typed incessantly into a pizza box. "Blog update," she said aloud, as though she was typing. "Even though my beloved Cody is gone, I have -"

Noah sighed. "Sierra, can you stop for a second?"

==CONFESSIONAL

"Almost getting eliminated has made things very clear to me," Noah said. "I need every vote I can get. And I need to keep my allies clear-headed." He paused for a moment. "Not allies, friends." He then shuddered. "I feel like such a goody-goody saying that."

Sierra squealed and continued "typing." "GTG, followers! I'm getting an urgent ring! Will update later!" With this, she closed the old pizza box, and turned her full attention to Noah. "I'm ready, New Cody!"

Noah exhaled deeply. "Sierra. You know I'm not Cody, right?"

"Of course! Why do you think you're called New Cody, New Cody?"

"Okay. I would like to not be called that, if it's alright with you."

"Oh, um …"

Noah raised an eyebrow. "Rebuttal?"

"No, it's fine, it's just … I just like the ring of Cody's name so much, you know?"

Noah clasped his arms together, taking the pose of a therapist - the role he seemed to be playing. "And why do you like the ring of Cody's name so much?"

"Because … well, because I love him! He's my Codykins!" Sierra looked wistfully off into the distance. "I love him so much, and I, well, I guess I … miss him."

Noah nodded. "So, is it reasonable to assume that - stay with me here - you're placing that longing for Cody onto me, a similarly scrawny, geeky-looking guy?"

Sierra's face contorted as she confronted this point, and, to the surprise of Noah, she burst into loud crying.

Owen shot awake. "OH, GOOD GRAVY, WE'RE GOING DOWN, AREN'T WE?" he panicked. "I ALWAYS KNEW I WOULD DIE ON A PLANE!"

"Owen, Owen, calm down," Noah yelled over Sierra's howling. He then turned to the weeping fangirl. "Sierra … it's alright, dude. You're good."

"I made you marry me!" Sierra recalled. "I carried you around! I did all the things Cody would have loved so much!" Owen and Noah shared a doubtful glance, but said nothing as Sierra continued. "And it was all because I was … projecting!" She blurted out the last word with spite, as though she was disgusted with herself. The superfan rubbed tears from her face, and turned to Noah. "New - I-I mean, Noah, I am so sorry."

"People get me and Cody confused a lot," Noah shrugged, his usual deadpan returned.

Sierra snickered at this, before the fangirl's cautious smile gave way to a fierce look of determination. "Rest assured! I will fight for you, and for Owen, and for justice, and for Total Drama fans everywhere! But most importantly … I will fight for Cody!"

"For Cody!" all three cheered.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"To think," Sierra noted with horror, "I didn't vote off the wretched Courtney like Cody wanted me too, and then, right after he gets eliminated, I marry someone else! I'm so sorry, Codykins! When this show is done, you and I have a trip to Niagara Falls to take!"

"Woo-hoo!" cheered a faint voice from above. Noah, Owen, and Sierra looked around in confusion, before Ezekiel poked his head out of an overhead ventilation shaft. "What are we cheering about, eh?"

"Wha … how long were you up there?" Noah asked in confusion.

"Meh, hard to tell," Ezekiel replied earnestly. "You lose track of time in the vents."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Recently, I've started snooping around through the plane's nooks and crannies," Ezekiel explained. "I've been tryin' to see if I have any goodies stashed from my stowaway time, goodies I can give to the other guys to make 'em like me more, eh."

Ezekiel dropped from the vent, awkwardly sprawling out onto the floor, before rising with an ancient-looking lobster. "Lobster, anyone?"

"Where did you even get that?" Noah asked.

"I stashed this puppy up there while we were in that watery place, eh," Ezekiel boasted.

"That watery place," Noah repeated, deadpanned.

"Oo! You mean Newfoundland?" Owen asked, giving the lobster a cautious sniff.

"Uh, sure! You want?"

Owen looked to the others. "Well, if no one else is gonna eat it!"

As the group laughed, Sierra put an arm on the shoulder of Noah, who instinctively tensed, before calming as the fangirl started talking. "Thanks for not freaking out about everything!"

"The urge to do so was hard to resist at times," Noah replied honestly.

"Oh, and happy birthday!"

Owen's eyes widened as he quickly swallowed the rest of the lobster. "Dude, it's your birthday?"

Noah stared at Sierra in confusion. "Um, how do you even know that?"

Sierra beamed with pride. "I know the birthdays of all the Total Drama contestants! Owen, yours is April 19th, and Ezekiel, yours is August 25th! And Noah, yours is today!"

Owen hooted with recognition, and Ezekiel's eyes widened. "Wow, even my pop doesn't always get that right, eh!"

"When is my birthday, mi chica?"

Noah, Owen, Sierra, and Ezekiel all turned to see Alejandro return to economy class, arms crossed as he leaned against the doorway.

Sierra's expression turned neutral. "Oh, Alejandro. Well, not to be rude, but this is your first season, so I haven't had time to look up fun facts about you since … well, it's my first season too!"

Alejandro smiled. "Ah, understandable."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Flirting with Sierra?" Alejandro pondered aloud. "With no Cody, it certainly seems possible. Do I dare?" He looked out the window, in thought. "I really should maintain my relationship with Courtney …"

"AAAAAAALLRIGHT, LOSERS!" Chris' voice boomed over the PA system, causing most of the contestants present to cringe. "IIIIIIIIT'S CHALLENGE TIME! BRACE FOR LANDING!"

Not two seconds after the words left the intercom did the plane hit the ground, barely managing to use its landing gear to stave off a crash. All eight contestants were sent flying into midair - with the exception of Owen, who was kept in his seat by his strong gravitational pull.

After this bumpy start, the contestants pooled out of the plane, where Chris stood waiting for them, Chef by his side. The host grinned. "Ni hao, contestants! And welcome to China, a majestic country known for its -" Chris' intro ground to a halt upon hearing a ringing from his cellphone. He picked it up and put it to his ear. "Yo, I'm kind of doing a show here. What's up? Mm-hmm … okay … mm-hmm … listen, if you want me to … okay … personally I don't think … right …"

The contestants stood around awkwardly, Chef keeping an eye on them, though it was clear he was growing impatient, too, as Chris continued his call.

"Can't we just start this stupid challenge already?" Heather put her hands on her hips in a frustrated expression.

"Sir Talks-A-Lot hasn't even given us one yet," Noah reminded her.

"Look … uh-huh … I'll get back to you later, alright?" Chris angrily hung up. "Producers, am I right?" He then turned to face the camera, suddenly aware that he had insulted the producers live on air. "I mean … producers, they're alright!" He forced a grin.

"Nice save," Courtney rolled her eyes.

Chris looked angrily from Heather, to Courtney, to Noah. "Gosh, how many sarcastic wishy-washies are there?"

"With all you've continued to throw at us, you should be surprised there aren't more," Noah deadpanned.

Chris rolled his eyes, as his smile returned to his face. "Well, annoying or not, you all have to take part in today's grueling challenge." The host gestured behind him to the Great Wall. "The Great Wall of China is one of the world's most legendary landmarks - as well as one of the longest. And today, you guys get to race across it!"

Owen leaned in to Noah. "Psst, little buddy? How long is the Great Wall of China?"

"Somewhere in the ballpark of 13,000 miles, I believe," Noah replied, his unimpressed glare focused on Chris.

Owen paused for a moment. "That's a lot, isn't it?"

Chris continued on before Noah had a time to answer in the affirmative. "Unfortunately, we can't exactly have you run the whole thing, or we'd be here all day. Just know that, eventually, you're going to come across a finish line, where Chef and I will be waiting to start the second leg of the challenge. Once the first person crosses the finish line, everybody else gets fifteen minutes before I bang the ceremonial gong. Anyone who crosses the finish line after that is disqualified from the second leg of today's challenge."

"This will be of no concern for you, I am sure," Alejandro shot Courtney a friendly smile. Courtney blushed in response, but attempted to turn away and focus on Chris.

"Wait, eh, I have a question," Ezekiel raised his hand.

"This should be enlightening," Heather rolled her eyes.

"Um, back at home, my family's farm is about two hundred acres, and I was wondering how long the Great Wall is in acres, since even back at home we can't really run the whole distance of the farm, eh."

"Well, one, can't say anybody has ever measured the Great Wall of China in acres, but as for your second concern, you're in luck!" Chris grinned. "You won't have to run the race on foot. Instead, up on top of the wall are some vehicles and equipment that will make your journey a lot faster, although some of them may do more harm than good."

"Very reassuring," Noah replied. Sierra giggled, while the host rolled his eyes.

"You know, you could thank me for not making you run the whole course on foot," Chris said. A devilish smile came to his face, causing the contestants great fear, but before the host could open his mouth, his phone began ringing once again, and he picked it up. "Yeah, it's McLean. Uh-huh … right, okay …"

The contestants assumed their starting positions, and impatiently waited for the host to finish his phone call.

"What's the deal? Can we go?" Courtney asked.

"Yes!" Chris yelled. With this, the eight contestants took off, but Chris looked back up, and held the phone to his chest. "Hey! That wasn't directed at you!" He shrugged. "Oh, well. This should make things interesting."

Alejandro, Heather, Courtney, Tyler, and Sierra took an early lead, with Noah and Owen, the slower contestants, falling back. As Owen watched this occur, he had a moment of realization, and grabbed Noah by the arm.

"Whaaaaat are you doing?" Noah asked uncomfortably.

"Fly, little buddy, fly!" Owen commanded, lifting Noah off the ground and chucking him over the heads of his fellow competitors. "DON'T WAIT FOR ME!" he called as his little buddy soared.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I've got to hand it to Owen," Noah appeared somewhat impressed. "The big guy definitely has his moments of quick thinking."

Noah landed with a thud on top of the Great Wall, as his rivals only began to climb the steps for the first time. The bookworm scanned the equipment that Chris had left for them, and settled quickly on a bicycle. As he mounted the bike, Alejandro reached the top of the Great Wall, and scowled at him before he rode off. Thinking quickly, the rejoined contestant grabbed a skateboard.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"So Noah wants to claim the bicycle? It is of little concern to me," Alejandro smiled. "Little does he know I won gold at the Latin American Skate Olympics."

As Alejandro prepared to take off on his skateboard, he turned to see Courtney reach the top of the wall, and smiled happily. "Ah, Courtney! I was going to use this skateboard, but if you would prefer it … ?"

Courtney blushed once again. "Oh, I'm no good at skateboarding. You take it!"

"Ah, thank you, mi amor!" Alejandro winked and skated away.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"He called me 'his love!'" Courtney swooned. "I-I mean, I shouldn't be getting so invested, but … I don't know, it sure seems like he's interested!"

"'Scuse me!" Tyler ran past, desperately searching for a vehicle. He settled on a donkey, which sat grazing nearby. As he climbed on the back of the donkey, Sierra ran up and claimed a pogo stick.

Courtney overcame her daze to look around at what was left - a rickshaw, some wooden sandals, and a tricycle. She picked the tricycle.

Heather overlooked the last few vehicles left, as Ezekiel finished climbing the wall. His eyes immediately fell upon the rickshaw, which he happily grabbed.

"Um, what are you doing?" Heather asked, dumbfounded, as the farm boy prepared to carry the rickshaw behind him.

"What do you mean?" Ezekiel asked. "Nobody claimed this thingy, I bet its wheels will make me faster!"

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Every time I think that loser can't get any dumber, he amazes me," Heather said. "Though with Alejandro ditching me I'll have to take what I can get."

Heather leapt into the rickshaw as Ezekiel pulled it, though he turned in confusion to see her lounging in the seat.

"Um, go!" Heather ordered.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I don't think Heather understands how this thing works," Ezekiel shrugged. "But, hey, I can't help it if I'm smarter than her."

Owen reached the wall just as the rickshaw took off. He dejectedly looked at the pair of wooden shoes, and sighed.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"If my little buddy's safe, then I'm doing my job!" Owen swallowed a lump in his throat. "Even if it means I have to … run."

With this, the race was on. Noah pedaled as though his life depended on it - or, at least, like his place in the game depended on it - but Alejandro caught up quite quickly. Soon, the two were shoulder-to-shoulder.

"Still interested in my vote, 'amigo?'" Noah asked sarcastically.

Alejandro responded with a smile. "You know, I don't really think I'll be needing your vote, but thank you. If you'd like, though, I could give you my vote - in a more literal sense, of course."

"Leave the sarcasm to me, Al," Noah replied.

Alejandro frowned deeply, but held his head up high and prepared to pass Noah. This plan was foiled when a smoke bomb suddenly erupted from the ground, clouding both boys in a cloud of haze.

"DID I FORGET TO MENTION? WE SET UP BOOBYTRAPS ALL OVER THE GREAT WALL!" Chris snickered, as he rode above in a helicopter. "SEE YOU AT THE FINISH LINE!"

Alejandro and Noah coughed violently, and when the smoke cleared both were headed towards the side of the wall. Noah shrieked, as Alejandro righted himself. Noah followed suit, but just barely.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Heather is at least a worthy adversary," Alejandro rolled his eyes. "It pains me to have an opponent who is so … pathetic."

Back towards the back of the pack, Tyler jumped impatiently on his donkey, which refused to move. "Uh, come on, man, let's go! Mush, donkey!" He sighed in frustration.

As Sierra prepared to hop off on her pogo stick, she looked back at the jock with a mix of interest and pity.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I've managed a ton of Total Drama fan blogs and fan sites over the years, and Tyler has never been one of the big, popular contestants like Owen, Duncan, Gwen, or … Cody …" She got lost in thought as she imagined the object of her affections. After a moment, she looked into the camera, and seemed to remember she was being recorded. "Ahem. Right. Anyway, Tyler. I just felt kind of bad for him."

"Hey, Tyler," Sierra waved as she walked over to the stubborn donkey. Tyler peered down at her. "Need a hand?"

"Oh, hey," Tyler nodded in acknowledgement. "Uhhhh, I should be alright, y'know. With animals like these, the key is to be all, like, y'know, firm." With this, he sat up straight, and assumed a masculine bravado. "MUSH, DONKEY!" After about five more seconds of awkward silence, during which his donkey continued grazing on the grasses poking out of the cracks in the Great Wall, Tyler slapped the donkey's flank, which finally got it moving - but not before kicking Sierra out of shock.

The fangirl was sent flying off the wall with a shriek.

The clumsy jock barely had a moment to register what had happened before his donkey began its sprint. "SORRY!" he shouted.

Sierra crash-landed through the roof of a Chinese shop, causing the elderly Chinese woman inside to leap up with shock. The fangirl looked around, noting the damage she had caused. "Oops, I am so sorry!"

The Chinese woman shook her head. "No, no, do not worry. Please, have a seat. Talk to me. Tell me everything."

Sierra raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I have a very good face-reading ability. I can tell you have been stressed. Why don't you talk to me over some tea?" the Chinese woman invited.

Back on the wall, Courtney pedaled her tricycle as well as she could, when she heard a loud panting from behind her. The CIT turned to see Owen, running extremely awkwardly.

"Oh … hi, Courtney!" the big guy attempted to smile through the pain of both his sprint and his wooden shoes, which seemed to barely fit him.

Courtney simply shook her head in pity, before turning back to pedalling. This lasted only a few seconds, as Ezekiel's rickshaw began to pass her. Courtney and Owen watched in stupor as Ezekiel carried the rickshaw dutifully, with Heather lounging inside. "Um, what?!" Courtney's jaw dropped.

"Oh, hey," Heather waved. "Try to keep up!"

"Any chance … there's room … for one more?" Owen asked.

Heather simply laughed. "Faster, Zeke! You have to run fast for the rickshaw's wheels to make you fast!"

"Makes sense to me, eh!" Ezekiel nodded, picking up the pace.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"That shifty, obnoxious Heather!" Courtney stewed. "Why didn't I think of using Ezekiel's stupidity to help me?!"

As if from a display of karma, a small land mine exploded under the rickshaw, dislodging one of the wheels. Heather peered out in dismay. "Um, homeschool?!" Ezekiel kept running. "Homeschool!"

"Oh, right, that's your nickname for me," Ezekiel perked up, turning around. His eyes widened as he saw one of the wheels coming off, and stopped to fix it - a period of time in which Courtney and Owen were able to get ahead, the former laughing jeeringly.

Tyler's donkey came running past, and Ezekiel attempted to flag it down.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Any farmer who's anybody could tell you the perfect solution to a busted cart is a good beast of burden to pull it," Ezekiel beamed with pride at his knowledge.

"Any chance we could borrow that donkey, eh?" Ezekiel called.

"I CAN'T MAKE IT STOOOOOP!" Tyler clutched the angry and frightened donkey for dear life, as it sprinted past the damaged rickshaw.

With no one else in her vicinity, Heather turned her frustration to Ezekiel. "Well? Fix the stupid wheel already!"

"Oh, yeah!" Ezekiel said, as though the idea had just come to him for the first time.

Further ahead, Alejandro had assumed the lead of the pack, with Noah not too far behind him. Courtney pedalled her tricycle right by Noah, and the two made awkward eye contact before growing more determined, and attempting to outmatch each other.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"What happens in Sweden stays in Sweden," Noah recalled his attempts to imitate Alejandro's technique by flirting with the CIT.

As the two raced, Courtney's front wheel landed in a large crack, and her tricycle became stuck in the wall. Noah used this opportunity to take the lead, catching up on Alejandro.

"Hey, Tony Hawk," Noah quipped to Alejandro. "One of your two girlfriends is stuck back there."

Alejandro turned to see Courtney's predicament, and swore under his breath.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I don't want to have to give up my lead, and let that accursed Noah take first place and whatever prize comes with it," Alejandro said. "But how do I not rescue Courtney? I could need her when the going gets tough."

After a moment's hesitation, Alejandro turned his skateboard around to help Courtney. Noah used this opportunity to take the lead.

Courtney fidgeted in her tricycle, finally getting up to try and pull it out, as she looked nervously behind her to see Owen and Tyler both gaining ground. Suddenly, a shadow overtook her, and she looked up to see the muscular build of Alejandro.

"I could not help that you were stuck, so I came to see what I could do," Alejandro smiled, surveying the situation and helping her dislodge the tricycle from the large crack.

"You … you gave up your lead for me," Courtney realized, as Alejandro got back onto his skateboard. "What if the prize is immunity?"

Alejandro shrugged. "So be it. You needed help."

"I-I promise I'll return the favor," Courtney said, a comment that made Alejandro smile genuinely.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I love it when people owe me," Alejandro smiled, hand to his chin in thought.

==CONFESSIONAL==

Courtney swooned. "So romantic!"

Sierra gingerly sipped some tea in the Chinese shop, as she concluded her story. "With Cody gone, and the teams merged I guess I just … I don't know, lost it! I clung to Noah because he sort of reminded me of my Codykins, and I even forced him to marry me! I don't even believe in divorce, what do I do now?! And how do I make it up to Noah for making such a mess? On his own birthday, nonetheless?"

The elderly Chinese woman hushed her. "Please, please, calm down. The answer you seek is quite simple. All you need to do is make a grand gesture, show him that you care, and that you are sorry. I have the perfect solution."

Sierra perked up. "Really? You do?!"

The Chinese woman nodded. "Yes. You see, this shop has been in my family for generations. We are renowned not only for our tea, but our fireworks." She walked over to a crate, where she removed a handful of large firecrackers. "They are yours. Use them in your grand display."

The woman put them in a knapsack, which she gave to Sierra, who smiled widely. "Thank you! I have the perfect grand gesture for these!"

As the fangirl ran off, the Chinese woman put her hand to her chin in thought. "Surely she knows basic firework safety, to light them at a distance … ah, of course."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Once I find a dessert place around here, I'll have the perfect way to celebrate Noah!" Sierra beamed.

Due to Alejandro's mercy for Courtney, Noah had taken a solid lead on his bicycle, with the finish line in sight. He turned quickly to see Alejandro catching up, his face falling.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Of course," Noah deadpanned.

Noah tried to pedal faster, but Alejandro's catch-up was swift and gradual, and it seemed inevitable. Finally, right as he caught up, both Noah and Alejandro crossed the finish line in a photo finish.

"It's too close to call!" Chris smiled, standing with his arms crossed. "With that, our fifteen minute countdown to irrelevance begins!"

From his place beside Chris, Chef started a stopwatch, and the two remained in their place, standing and looking down the Great Wall to see which other competitors would become eligible.

"Aren't you … going to review the … the footage?" Noah asked, breathing heavily.

"Hm?" Chris looked to him, as well as an eager Alejandro. "Oh, no need. You don't get anything for coming in first this challenge."

Noah and Alejandro glared at their host, and then at each other.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

All present at the finish line looked out to see a panicked Tyler, whose shockingly fast donkey came to a screeching halt just after crossing, and launched the jock directly into a nearby pillar. Noah, Alejandro, Chris, and Chef winced in sympathy.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Alright, third place!" Tyler smiled. "Maybe I'll get immunity two challenges in a row!"

Courtney pedaled her tricycle up to the finish line, but right before she reached it, another landmine detonated, launching Courtney and her vehicle directly off the side of the wall.

Chris winced. "Ooo, so close!"

"AHHHHHHH MY FEET ARE ON FIRE!" Owen screamed as he sprinted uncontrollably across the finish line, collapsing next to Noah. Rather than trying to rip off his wooden shoes, he simply basked in the sheer ecstasy of sitting down again, breathing heavily.

"Nice, man, you're fourth to cross," Noah patted his friend on the back.

Owen nodded in acknowledgement, but panted too heavily to say anything in response.

After another couple of minutes, a rickshaw came into the distance, and Ezekiel pulled Heather across the finish line.

"That's two more eligible for the second half of the challenge," Chris reported. "Though I must say, Zeke, interesting decision to carry along Heather."

"Nah, having a passenger in a cart makes it move faster," Ezekiel claimed. "It's science, pure and simple, eh."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I occasionally ask myself, is Ezekiel actually a genius under the disguise of an incompotent fool?" Alejandro mused. "If so, I must say, I am beyond impressed."

As Heather stepped down from the rickshaw, she stifled a laugh at Ezekiel's "science," but said nothing.

The clock continued to tick, as Noah and Alejandro both looked out expectantly.

"Come on, Courtney, you can make it back up," Alejandro muttered under his breath.

"Waiting for someone?" Heather approached.

Alejandro turned, returning to his poker face. "Just eager to start the next part of today's challenge."

"Right," Heather said.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I don't know what Alejandro's up to, but I do know that he's off his game," Heather noted. "He better get his act together or I'm not gonna need him as an ally anymore." She smirked. "I bet I could get Zeke to vote for whoever I want gone, anyway."

Noah also glanced down the Great Wall. "Wonder what's taking Sierra so long."

"Aw, you miss your girlfriend?" Heather mocked.

Alejandro smirked at this, which Noah immediately made him regret. "I could ask Alejandro the same question." Heather turned back to Alejandro, who quickly smiled.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"It's hard enough to juggle between Heather and Courtney, I don't need Noah to stir the pot," Alejandro frowned.

Tyler rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Yeah, uh, I sure hope Sierra makes it here in time."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I feel really bad," Tyler said sadly. "I've never used a donkey before, how was I supposed to know it was gonna kick her?"

After a few more minutes, Chris finally walked over and rang the gong, signaling the end of the contest. "Sierra and Courtney will not be taking part in the next leg of today's challenge."

Sierra appeared on the horizon scarcely seconds after those words left Chris' mouth, a fact that led Noah to facepalm. He looked at Owen. "At least I've got you in the next leg, big guy."

Owen's face had paled considerably from its sweaty beet red back to normal, and he grinned. "WOO-HOO!"

Courtney finally made her way back to the competition, her face still covered with soot from her unfortunate run-in with the landmine. This fact alone made Chris chuckle mockingly. Heather grinned, but didn't join the host in laughing.

"Mi chica, are you alright?" Alejandro asked, approaching a weary Courtney as she staggered across the finish line.

"Oh … I'm fine, Alejandro," Courtney smiled sheepishly. "At least, I am now," she added quietly in Alejandro's ear.

"Okay, that wasn't weird at all," Noah noted sarcastically, as the contestants made their way to the next part of the challenge.

"Hope you guys are ready for -" Chris was once again cut off by his ringing cell phone. He sighed, and picked up the call. "McLean. Yeah, yeah … listen, I'm on a budget here, okay? I know …" The host walked ahead of the competitors as he continued talking.

Sierra finally caught up with the group, a knapsack behind her back and a mysterious box in hand. "Hi, guys!" she waved to Noah and Owen.

"Hey!" Owen waved back.

"So glad you could finally join us," Noah said. "What took you so long? You're ineligible for the next challenge, you know."

"Well, a donkey kicked me off the wall," Sierra gestured to Tyler, who rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "and after that I had some preparations to do. It's a surprise!"

"Riiiight," Noah nodded, only half-paying attention. Instead his focus was on Tyler.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Tyler had his donkey kick Sierra off the wall?" Noah wondered aloud. "I'll be honest, I never pegged him as that nefarious. Alejandro must be rubbing off on him."

Chris led the teens into a fancy-looking Chinese restaurant. "I hope you've all worked up an appetite with that race, because our visit to China ends in an eating challenge!"

Most of the contestants looked knowingly to Owen, who smiled widely. "WOO-HOO! Now you're talking, Chris!"

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Perhaps I should think about turning my focus to Owen after all," Alejandro said. "He is a big threat in challenges such as these, and if what Heather has told me is correct, it seems that he has been carrying Noah. Hm."

As the eligible contestants took their seats, Alejandro stopped Courtney, and whispered into her ear.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I am a man of many skills, but even I must admit my fault - my weak stomach," Alejandro shuddered. "Why do you think I have reviled Owen for so long?"

Heather, Tyler, Ezekiel, and Owen took their seats. Owen was joined by an uneasy-looking Noah a few seconds after.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I'm not usually fond of eating hot garbage, but I'm going to have to channel my inner Owen for this challenge," Noah exhaled deeply, preparing himself mentally.

"You've got this, little buddy!" Owen slapped Noah's back encouragingly.

"Let's hope so," Noah sighed. "I'd rather get food poisoning than be out a million bucks."

Alejandro joined the table as the sixth and final competitor. Courtney and Sierra sat as well, but slightly off to the side. The fangirl had a wide grin on her face, one that made Courtney visibly uncomfortable.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Not sure what her deal is, but I'm sure she still wants to kill me because of what happened with Cody, so I'm not even going to say anything," Courtney shrugged.

"Here's how the challenge will work," Chris began. "Chef will bring out a Chinese delicacy - we specifically looked for some of the more … well, disgusting options. You have to eat it, and stick out your tongue to prove you're not hiding anything in your mouth. Anyone who is last to finish the food, or refuses to eat, or barfs, is out. Last contestant standing wins immunity for themselves and one contestant of their choosing."

Noah's face grew determined, as did Alejandro's. Heather looked bored, Tyler looked slightly nervous, and, as always, Ezekiel looked like he hadn't the slightest clue what was going on. Owen, by contrast, looked ecstatic.

"Let's get that food out here!" Owen begged.

"As you wish!" Chris smiled, as special effects displayed the participants, and the host himself, in a kind of mystical valley setting. Chris, donned in the attire of a traditional Chinese opera performer - makeup and all - began to sing.

"A little Chinese lesson for you," Chris sang. "Manman chi means 'enjoy your meal."

"Manman chi, it's no raw deal," the six participants sang, as Chef dropped off food for them. They had looks of horror - except Owen, of course.

"I-Is it roasted eel?" Tyler guessed, poking at the fried meat on his plate.

"Actually, this is flayed donkey meat," Chris smiled. "Dig in!"

"Donkey meat?" Tyler paled.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Man, I was just riding a donkey," Tyler swallowed a lump in his throat. "I'm not a vegetarian or anything, but, I don't know, man … seeing an animal eating grass and moving and around and stuff, and then, five minutes later, having to eat it…"

Owen inhaled his meal, and Ezekiel ate his relatively quickly as well.

Heather stared at the homeschooled boy uneasily, which Ezekiel took as an invitation for conversation. "It's just a dead animal. Y'know, we eat cows and chickens, eh."

"Yeah, thanks," Heather looked back down at her plate, and ultimately took the bite.

Alejandro leaned down under the table, reemerging seconds later. "Dropped my fork, sorry."

Noah sighed, and ate. He shrugged. "Hm. Tastes like beef."

"Sorry, Tyler, you're out!" Chris pointed to the side of the table where Courtney and Sierra sat.

Tyler walked over in shame. Courtney was chewing something in her mouth, which caused Tyler to perk up. "Aw, man, Courtney, do you have gum? Can I have a piece?"

Courtney shook her head.

"No, you don't have gum, or, no, you don't want to give me any?" Tyler pushed. "'Cause, like, I get it, y'know, if -"

Courtney swallowed, and sighed impatiently. "No, Tyler, I don't have any gum."

"Oh. Okay," Tyler took a seat. Noah eyed the whole scene with suspicion, as Chris began to sing in preparation for the next serving.

"Manman chi means 'bon appetit,'" Chris sang.

"Manman chi, what do we have to eat?" sang Alejandro, Heather, Ezekiel, Noah, and Owen in anticipation, the latter excited. Chef dropped off the next serving.

"It's still moving its feet!" Heather noted in horror, stifling a gag.

"Live mealworms!" Chris grinned. "Eat up!"

Alejandro ducked below the table once again, reemerging a moment later. "Dropped it again, clumsy me. Done!"

Owen looked a bit uncertain, but still ate the mealworms. Ezekiel, not quite as strong an eater, nevertheless pushed on as well.

"Any of you guys go out after rain storms when you were a kid and eat the worms?" Ezekiel asked. "That's what this reminds me of."

"I need you to shut up, right now," Heather ordered. "And no, no one has ever done that, but you." Noah and Alejandro turned a bit green, clearly echoing Heather's sentiments. "This is so disgusting," the Queen Bee once again barely held back a gag as she watched the worms wiggle in her bowl. Noah, too, had to shield his eyes from his meal, but forced himself to eat.

Owen watched his little buddy with pride, egging him on. "Woo-hoo! Yeah, go Noah! Just pretend it's macaroni and cheese!"

"Shut up, dude," Noah ordered, his mouth full of mealworms. He forced himself to swallow, and sighed with relief, opening his mouth.

"Looks like you're out, Heather," Chris let the queen bee know.

"Honestly, immunity isn't worth this," Heather stood up, looking at the four remaining participants. "Good luck, boys."

As she walked over to the other side of the table, beside a dejected-looking Tyler, Heather noted that Courtney was still chewing.

"What's her deal?" Heather elbowed Tyler.

"I don't know. I think she's hogging some gum," Tyler replied.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Or maybe that's just what she wants idiots like Tyler to think," Heather noted suspiciously.

"Manman chi, it's dinner for four!" sang Chris.

"Manman chi, we've got room for more!" sang Alejandro, Ezekiel, Owen, and Noah, as Chef delivered the next meal to the table.

"I think I'm nearly done for," Noah swallowed back the bile in his throat.

"Starfish on a skewer!" Chris introduced the contestants to the food on their plate, which still squirmed every few seconds.

Owen ate his fairly easily. He squinted as he recognized the flavors. "Mmm, tastes like calamari!"

"I really, really don't want to hear about food right now, Owen," Noah pleaded, eyeing up his fried starfish.

"Come on, little buddy, you've got this!" Owen encouraged him. Alejandro went under the table again as Noah continued to eye the meal.

"My shoe was untied," Alejandro said. "Done!"

Heather glared at Alejandro after hearing his claim, but did not say anything. Finally, Ezekiel ate his starfish, nodding slowly as it crunched in his mouth. "Mm. My family was never rich enough for seafood, eh."

"Noah, you're out!" Chris announced. He turned to Owen, Alejandro, and Ezekiel. "Man, you guys are good eaters! Let's make things really tough for our final round."

Noah slunk away to the other side of the table, where he sat next to Tyler. The two looked cautiously at one another, nodding in acknowledgement, before looking back to the competition.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"If Owen doesn't win and take me to first class, I imagine the same votes playing out from Niagara Falls," Noah noted. "That being, my elimination."

"Come on, big guy, you've got this!" Noah cheered on Owen. He then turned to his fellow losers. Sierra ominously stood up, winked at Noah, and slipped out of the room. Even more confusingly, Courtney continued chewing, now a bit self-consciously.

"Manman chi, don't get the squirts!" Chris sang.

"Manman chi, we'd rather eat our shirts," sang Alejandro, Owen, and Ezekiel.

"Wait! Stop!" Heather commanded, before Chef even had a chance to bring out the final serving. The Queen Bee stormed over to Courtney, glaring daggers at her. Courtney, for her part, rapidly swallowed whatever she had been chewing. "There's something funny going on here."

"Heather, suspending the challenge on the grounds of 'something funny,'" Noah rolled his eyes.

"Quiet, you," Heather barked at Noah, glaring incredibly close into Courtney's face.

"What are you looking at?" Courtney egged. Heather quickly covered her face, stifling another gag.

"Ugh! Your breath smells like … like mealworms!" Heather accused. "You're eating the food!"

Courtney instinctively looked to Alejandro for support, and Heather followed her gaze.

"Do you know something about this, Alejandro?" Noah raised an eyebrow.

"Do not accuse me of cheating," Alejandro prepared to stand up and face off against Noah.

"Alright, alright," Chris tried to deescalate the situation. "We've got a schedule to keep here. Courtney, put on that ceremonial dragon head so you can't accidentally eat anything." Chris gestured to a mask in the corner.

"Ugh! I'll have you know, I should be innocent until proven guilty!" Courtney said angrily, but nevertheless put the dragon head on. Alejandro swallowed a lump in his throat, but this went unnoticed.

Chris smiled. "Cool? Cool. Chef, bring out the stew."

Chef dropped off three bowls of a stew, one of unknown origin. It was purplish-brownish, with random bits of animal meat and flesh inside. The eyeball of an unidentifiable creature floated to the surface of all three bowls.

"What Chinese delicacy is this?" Alejandro asked the host, seemingly in an attempt to rationalize what he was eating.

"To be honest, this stew isn't a Chinese delicacy," Chris chuckled maniacally. "It's just some lukewarm stew made of various leftovers."

"Aw, sweet, eh, lukewarm leftover stew is my mom's specialty, eh," Ezekiel licked his lips, digging in. The sight of Ezekiel enthusiastically eating the unrecognizable food was enough to turn both Alejandro and Owen a shade of green.

"Manman chi, manman chiiiii," Alejandro and Owen sang uneasily, daring each other to eat their stew.

"They love to eat on the Yangtze!" Chris sang. "Manman chi, manman… huh?"

Chris was interrupted by Alejandro puking from the sight, smell, or perhaps just the idea of the stew before him. Owen, on the other hand, got up from his table and ran off, screaming "GOOD GLORY, WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?!"

Ezekiel used this opportunity to stand up and sing the closing line to the song. "Zeke is in first class now … and that's really great!"

"Zeke, you've killed the rhythm," Chris criticized. "However, and I truly, truly never thought I would ever say this, Ezekiel, you have won today's challenge, and you have immunity."

"Alright!" Ezekiel celebrated.

"Who will you bring with you to first class?" Chris asked. "You can choose anyone, or, heck, if you really wanted to, you could choose no one. The choice is -" Chris was once again interrupted by his phone ringing. "Oh, come on!" He stormed off, picking up. "Yeah, I have a show to do here…"

"Who will you bring to first class?" Heather asked Ezekiel, an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, mi amigo," Alejandro said slyly - or, as slyly as possible after having just projectile vomited in front of everyone. Even Courtney appeared minorly disgusted, behind her dragon mask.

"That's a good question, eh," Ezekiel asked.

"Hey, Zeke, can you bring me up to first class with you?" Noah asked. Heather, Alejandro, and Courtney seemed a bit caught off-guard by his bluntness.

Ezekiel, however, shrugged and smiled. "Uh, sure, eh."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Those eels think the quickest way into somebody's brain is sneakily and slowly," Noah said. "That might work for most people. But I've gathered that Ezekiel isn't most people."

As Alejandro and Heather glared at Noah, Chris hung up his phone call and walked back over. "Well, without any further ado -"

Chris' wrap-up was interrupted by Sierra, who merrily skipped into the room. "Time for dessert!"

"Dessert?!" Owen came sprinting back into the room, pulling up his pants.

"I beg you, please do not even say the word," Alejandro gagged.

As she entered the room, Sierra pulled with her a cart, on which sat a cake. What appeared to be six decorative candles had been placed gingerly on top of the cake, and Sierra lit them as she began to sing. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Noah, happy birthday to you! Hooray! For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow -"

Initially touched, Noah had grown distracted by all the noise the "candles" were making as they burned. Finally, his eyes widened with realization. "Sierra, are those fireworks?!"

"For he's a jolly good fellow!" Sierra went for the big finish, "Which nobody can -"

An enormous, fiery explosion erupted from the blast zone that had once been a cake. Chris and the contestants were sent flying backwards - even Owen. But as the closest, it was Sierra who bore the brunt of the explosion.

When the dust settled, Sierra, covered from head to toe with soot, still stood, seemingly only from the shock of the situation. After a few moments, realization seemed to hit her, and she passed out. The other contestants stared, slack-jawed, at the remains of the restaurant, and the sheer amount of damage.

"Uhhhh… Chef? Can you come here a sec?" Chris awkwardly sauntered off, looking for his cohost.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Great googly moogly, she just … she just … blew up!" Owen reported, his eyes wide with shock.

The remaining contestants grouped up in the elimination area, as Chris paced back and forth. "Seriously, of all the days this could have happened, it's the day I'm already getting hounded by the producers," the host frowned.

"Wow, very considerate of you," Courtney noted.

"Really? That was kinda messed up of him to say, if you ask me," Ezekiel commented, missing the sarcasm. Courtney turned to face him, a look of pure hatred on her face. Natural instinct made Ezekiel back away fearfully in his seat.

Finally, Chef pushed in a wheelchair, containing Sierra, her entire body covered in bandages, with the lone exception of her eyes, which looked tiredly out at the faces of her fellow contestants.

"Ahem," Chris turned away from the injured fangirl. "I'm afraid that Sierra is too injured to continue competing. Therefore, she is officially disqualified from 'Total Drama World Tour!'" He looked to the saddened fangirl and winced in sympathy. "Trust me, I don't think celebrating Noah's birthday was worth this."

"Thanks for that, Chris," Noah deadpanned, a look of sadness on his face.

"Well… at least that means we don't need to have an elimination ceremony today, right?" Tyler noted.

"Wrong," Chris' sympathetic smile turned into its usual grin of mischievous delight. "The producers are on me about the show's budget, so if we get two less mouths to feed it's going to be a lot easier on me. So you kids will still get to vote somebody off!"

Noah and Owen looked at each other in worry.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"That means I don't have Sierra's vote …" Noah said. "I might have to get creative."

After a nod from Noah, Ezekiel entered the confessional to cast his vote first, while the rest of the contestants stood outside, waiting their turn. Alejandro and Noah attempted to stare each other down. Heather looked at her nails, while Courtney awkwardly looked out of the window. Owen twiddled his thumbs nervously. Tyler leaned against the wall, eyes on the floor. The tension was palpable.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Alejandro says since Noah's immune, and Sierra's out, there's only one person we could vote for, and besides, it's someone who was a huge threat in today's challenge," Tyler recalled his ally's words. They did not appear to reassure him, as he appeared incredibly doubtful. "But, I don't know …"

"So, Courtney," Noah broke the silence. "Helping out Alejandro today, huh?"

Courtney grew flustered. "Hey, I don't -"

"She does not owe you anything," Alejandro finished for her.

"I'm just a little confused, Al," Noah raised an eyebrow. "Who are you into? Heather or Courtney?"

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Hey, if bluntness worked with Ezekiel," Noah shrugged.

Alejandro kept his cool, even as Heather and Courtney's glare moved from Noah to one another. "I understand you are sad about Sierra's departure. Was there something going on between the two of you? That is what she believed."

"Well, it's funny. That is what she believed, but then I clarified things with her," Noah said, keeping his usual demeanor. "You know how it works - clarifying with a girl how you feel about her, so they know you're not wasting their time, or, you know, using them."

Courtney and Heather looked from Noah, to Alejandro, to each other. As Alejandro opened his mouth, the confessional door slammed open, nearly crushing Tyler in the process. Ezekiel strolled out, whistling merrily. "Oh, hey guys. What're we talking about?"

Alejandro looked to Heather and Courtney, nodding affirmatively at them. The two each returned the nods, albeit not before glaring at each other again. Afterwards, Alejandro exhaled confidently. "Oh, nothing, Zeke. Nothing." With this, he entered the confessional.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"People who scheme and manipulate usually do not make their intentions so clear. Noah is so clearly an amateur at this," Alejandro fumed, attempting to calm himself down.

Sierra sat, still wheelchair bound, beside the plane's exit. Her eyes fell mournfully onto the floor. Noah was the first to enter the elimination area, and gave her a look of genuine sympathy - not a common look on the cynic's face. "You're the first one to leave this plane for completely selfless reasons," Noah noted. "Of course, I'm sure you would prefer to not leave the plane at all, but still. Know that I appreciate it."

Though mixed in with his usual sarcasm, Sierra picked up the genuine gratitude that Noah was giving her for her kindness, and mumbled something in response that was probably heartfelt as well, but was completely unintelligible from underneath the bandages.

Uncertainly, Noah simply nodded. With this, the rest of the contestants entered the elimination area. Noah took a seat next to Owen. Heather and Courtney entered, glared at one another, and sat at opposing sides of the room.

"Old Heather," Courtney muttered.

"Hope those mealworms tasted good," Heather shot back.

Alejandro entered the room confidently, but it clearly wavered a bit once he heard the two girls bickering. Tyler followed shortly after, the same pained expression on his face as he sat towards the back.

Finally, Ezekiel entered, wearing his "cool guy" sunglasses and clutching a cheeseburger. As per usual, he was blind to the moods of his fellow contestants. "Yo, yo, yo! First class is totally tricked out, eh! Noah, there's a cheeseburger with your name on it, homes!"

"Thank you," Noah noted, giving Owen a knowing smirk as his friend's stomach growled.

Chris entered the room, taking note of the generally glum mood. "Wow, who died?" the host asked, before looking to Sierra. "That's not insensitive to you, right?"

"Sierra's dead?!" Tyler, Ezekiel, and Owen gasped in shock.

"No, you boneheads, Chris is, as usual, being a total jerk," Heather rolled her eyes at their stupidity, and at Chris' mean demeanor. Sierra wiggled a bit in her wheelchair to confirm that Heather's story was true.

"Can we please move on?" Chris hurried. "The last thing I need is another call from the network about how much money we're bleeding. I think throwing two contestants from this plane will more than make me feel better!" He looked at Sierra as he said this, causing the fangirl to tremble under her bandages.

"Okay. Let's get to the votes, then," Noah encouraged.

Chris gave him a dirty look, before perking back up with his usual grin. "To start off, Ezekiel and Noah are safe with immunity."

Ezekiel and Noah caught their barf bags, the former giving it a sniff before finishing off his cheeseburger. Noah barely registered catching it, still staring at Chris as he continued the votes.

"Tyler is also safe," Chris tossed a barf bag at Tyler, which hit him in the face. He appeared relieved, but the stress of the vote he had casted clearly still weighed on him.

Chris looked from Alejandro, to Owen, to Heather, to Courtney. "My, my, the four of you sure made enemies with each other today, huh? Owen, you were a huge threat today, and helped Noah, who arguably didn't deserve it."

"That's editorializing," Noah pointed out.

"He's my little buddy, of course I helped him!" Owen said sincerely.

"How sweet," Chris faked a smile. "Courtney, you stand accused of cheating in today's eating challenge."

"I plead not guilty!" Courtney crossed her arms.

"By reason of insanity, maybe," Heather added, earning herself a fresh glare from the CIT.

"Alejandro, you stand accused of receiving said cheating in today's eating challenge," Chris noted.

"I do not see how these charges should equate to votes," Alejandro raised his arms in protest.

"Yeah, because that's definitely the only shady thing you've ever done," Chris chuckled. "As for you Heather, well, you're Heather."

Heather scoffed, but said nothing.

Chris eyed the four contestants eagerly, as he clutched three barf bags in one hand. "And, tonight, joining Sierra on the drop of shame … will be …"

Noah had a mixture of nervousness and concentration on his face, staring ahead at Chris and the remaining three barf bags.

Heather glared daggers at Courtney, seemingly daring her to have voted her off.

Courtney looked at Alejandro, with a mixture of longing and apprehension, and clearly feeling Heather's glare in the side of her face.

Owen squeezed Noah tightly, briefly breaking the bookworm's concentration, as his teeth chattered with nervousness.

Alejandro glared at Chris, challenging fate to decide against his orders for who was to go home next.

Tyler shielded his eyes, unwilling to see the consequences of his vote.

Ezekiel yawned.

"... Owen!"

Owen's grasp on his little buddy seized immediately, and he released Noah. The bookworm almost fell to the floor, out of the immediate surprise of being abruptly released, and from the realization that he had just lost his best friend and closest ally in the game.

"What?" Owen asked in shock.

Tyler turned and walked out of the elimination area. Alejandro's glare turned to a slight smile as he watched Owen stand up. The others in the room barely reacted.

"Sorry, dude," Chris said to Owen with the slightest hint of compassion. "But your time in the game has come to an end."

As Chris awkwardly strapped a parachute onto Sierra, Owen grabbed one himself, and after putting it on, turned to Noah. He offered a half smile. "Good luck, little buddy!"

"Owen, I -" Noah took a deep breath. "I'll win for you, buddy."

Owen's smile grew. "WOO-HOO!"

As always, Owen's cheeriness was contagious, and Noah couldn't help but offer his friend a smirk as well. The bookworm reached in for a fist bump, but got pulled into a bear hug instead. This lasted about fifteen seconds, until Chris, wiping what appeared to be a tear from his eye, pulled him away. "Ahem. Goodbye!"

Noah nodded in appreciation of Sierra, before Courtney spoke to Chris. "Should she really be jumping in her condition?"

"Of course not!" Chris acknowledged, before shoving her wheelchair out the plane. "She should be pushed!"

Owen took a deep breath and leapt out the plane, only to get wedged in the doorway. "Uh, little help?"

Alejandro impatiently walked over to kick his hated peer, and successfully dislodged him, but also released a final fart from his former teammate as he plummeted. The weak-stomached Alejandro wretched on his knees from the stench, a sight that kept the half-smile plastered on Noah's face for a few seconds longer, as Chris walked to the cockpit to do the episode's outro.

Alejandro quickly got his act together, and smiled at Noah as he strolled out of the elimination area. Heather and Courtney left on their own time, in their own worlds.

"Uh, yo, Noah, I'll be in first class," Ezekiel patted the bookworm on the back. "We're gonna have a blast, eh."

"I'm sure it will be," Noah retorted, as the homeschooled farm boy strolled out of the elimination area. Noah was left alone, in both the elimination area and in the broader competition. He sighed.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Happy birthday to me," Noah said blankly.

"Oof, tough luck for everyone's favorite sarcastic loser, Noah!" Chris laughed, chucking a piece of popcorn down his throat as he looked at the confessional screen. "With two of his closest, and only, allies out of the competition, what will become of his chances? And how will Alejandro handle himself in the nuclear war of obnoxious personalities that is Heather vs. Courtney? We're down to our final six contestants, so join us next time, right here, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

Wow, our first elimination since 2018 (feels weird to think about, huh?)! I once again thank all of you who have followed this story for more than a chapter for sticking around this long, and I thank all of you who just discovered this story for giving it a read at all! Now, onto my (VERY SPOILERY) author's note!

A double elimination does take place in China in the normal World Tour timeline, but it's a little different here, as one contestant (Sierra) gets disqualified due to injuries. I told you guys I didn't want to go TDAS Cameron on poor Noah, as her obsession with Noah at Niagara Falls was meant to serve as a sort of transition period for her after the merge.

Her elimination style is similar to the one she had in the actual show, by celebrating the birthday of a contestant who barely remembered it themselves, and blowing themselves in the process - though, in this situation, the only real damage she does is to herself. Still, she went on selflessly, through celebrating someone else.

And that brings us to the real elimination. Owen's always been one of my favorite characters in the series, and specifically his dynamic with Noah was one of my favorite parts of World Tour (and the Ridonculous Race later on). It's very sad for that to come to an end after eight chapters (I guess only seven if you don't count the aftermath, haha), but it was somewhat bound to happen. Alejandro's simply got too many allies for Owen to have stood a chance … although, with Noah's Ezekiel-inspired bluntness strategy tearing a hole into Alejandro's careful web of romancing, and Courtney now officially lasting longer than she did in canon, who knows what will happen?

If I don't see you until 2021, have a happy and safe new year, and this story will pick back up in the savannahs of Tanzania.

"But if Ezekiel is in the game, then what's the challenge in Africa?" Mwahaha…..