So Jingles had a particularly rough session not too long ago. The short version is the party was recruited by the guard force of an amazon city to deal with a traitorous coliseum owner, resulting in the party sneaking in the back to capture or kill her. The party found her with a small group of gnolls and undead, and all Hell broke loose. Said fight also resulted in Jingles getting swatted out of the air with a hammer bigger than him... and this what followed.

Broken

Jingles' bones crackled loudly as the enchanted armor put him back together. Somewhat. Enough for him to regain consciousness. Enough for his eyes to snap open and for everything to hurt again. His ears were ringing, his left arm hung at the wrong angle, and his mouth was filled with blood. But he was awake. He could work with that.

He rolled over and stumbled to his knees. His thudding headache and blurred vision was only made worse by another gunshot above him. The last gnoll marksman was still trying to protect the amazon bitch they were here for. It took a beat for Jingles to recognize the blurs around his target. Nera was trying to claw her legs out, and Viola's greatsword was carving a hole into her stomach. But Tuanta barely seemed to notice her wounds as she kept swinging her hammer. The same one that had driven Jingles face first into the ground.

The Jester spit out a wad of a blood. White bits bounced across the cobblestone with it. His eyes finally focused as he stood on wobbly legs. It wasn't teeth mixed in with the gore: it was wood. His working hand shot up, and he felt the exposed skin of his face. At least a third of it was on display now. Several shards of his mask laid scattered around his feet, covered in blood.

The air became unbearably hot as he started fighting for breath. He gagged at the taste of cordite in the air. His whole body trembled, his heart trying to leap out of his chest. He barely noticed pain as he tried to cover the unprotected portion of his face. Words rushed through his head in a panic.

No. Nononononono. NO! It can't be gone!

What are you rambling about now!? A piece of wood and an enchantment a monkey could manage. You really need that to not piss yourself?

No, it's a mask, it is MY mask! It is mine, it is Jingles' mask! It's-

It's what? Old? Comfy? Get over it, whelp! It didn't do a thing but make it hard to eat.

IT KEEPS HIM BURIED!

More blood bubbled out his mouth as he mumbled to himself. His mind was running faster than the world. The screaming match in his head, one voice his own against one dug out from his deepest memories, raged while the battle around him crawled.

What, him? Little Ralrai? Let the brat out, he ain't hurting anyone! He was too damn weak to-

He was gone! He wanted out, he got his wish! He shouldn't be in here! He needs to stay gone! He can't be in here with me!

He was too weak to cut it! If you can't deal with him, then you're just as pathetic as him! Hell, you're worse!Maybe that's why she left you! She knew if you couldn't save her, there was no point in sticking around your worthless ass!

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" That scream was out loud, buried beneath the retort of another gunshot. No one had noticed the clown was back on his feet, losing what remained of his sanity in waves. That miracle kept them from finishing him off.

You can't save Arwen, you can't stop a Speaker, you can't even take getting your precious mask broken! How the Hell are you going to save her if you can't kill this bitch?!

I killed a fucking king! I've killed beholders, manticores, zombie armies! I am NOT RALRAI! I! AM! JINGLES!

Then prove it, you fucking whelp! Prove it and tear that bitch apart!

The next noise out of Jingles wasn't a word. It wasn't even a thought. It was the rage and chaos of his mind made into sound. The spell just came out with it. As he roared, his body shifted to match the tone. His mouth stretched to accommodate his growing fangs. The lanky clown's body filled with muscle as he grew taller than the amazon. By the time he took a breath in and let out another bellow, there wasn't a Jester standing there. There was a T-Rex fixated on slaughtering Tuanta.

The gnoll marksman made a panicked shot at the newest threat. His bullet glanced off Jingles' forehead and barely broke the skin. The massive maw was around his torso before he could reload. Blood flew across the party members still fighting below as the creature was eviscerated.

Tuanta saw the real problem too late. She didn't have time to brace herself when Jingles brought his heavy skull down on her. Viola got kicked aside by Tuanta's leg as the amazon was slammed to the ground. Nera ducked out of the way just in time to dodge the foot of the fixated dinosaur.

She didn't get a chance to scream. Jingles stomped onto her chest to keep her pinned while he sunk his teeth into her skull. He didn't settle for tearing out her throat. Or for crushing her in his bite. He ran on instinct, rage, the madness of his mind and did what came naturally. He kept her torso to the ground and ripped her head from her shoulders.

The gnolls' once strong leader was torn in two, blood erupting from the geyser that was her corpse. Everyone was bathed in crimson, Jingles the worst so in his T-Rex form. But he was far from satisfied. He roared once more, challenging anyone left to fight him. He wanted more.

He wouldn't get it. The paladin and barbarian had finished off the last two gnolls before he looked down, and the final undead abomination had already been vaporized by Calilili's magic. Jingles snarled and looked for anything he could take his anger out on. Seeing nothing, he decided the boarded up exit must be hiding someone else for him to kill. The dinosaur charged across the room and through the wooden door without hesitation.

He snarled and sniffed and stalked the next room for anything living. He snapped at shadows and torches, mistaking the movement for enemies. He even kicked down a stone wall, trying to shake out something to fight. But he found nothing. A minute later, it finally got through his thick head that it was over. His fury had nothing else to be channeled into… With one last growl, he let the spell fade. It took longer to revert back into his normal form, but it was still only a few seconds before the wounded clown was standing in the courtyard.

Everything hurt again. The ringing ears and pounding headache lingered from the concussion he knew he had. His left arm and collar bone were definitely broken. Even his legs felt ready to collapse instead of carrying him. He spit out more blood, either his or Tuanta's, and began limping back to the others. His fuzzy sight could just make out his companions tending to their wounds.

"Call me weak… fucking show you, old man," he growled under his breath.

Weak. Just as weak as Ralrai. Just like you've always been.

Jingles tried to snarl back, but coughed up more blood and wood. He felt splinters in his lips, at least one in his tongue.

Ralrai was the weak one. Not me… Jingles is strong. I am stronger than Ralrai ever was.

You're just as fucking pathetic as Ralrai. Stupid kid didn't grow a backbone until I took his eye. It still wasn't enough to make him fight, he just ran. Just like you from your memories.

I have killed… anything stupid enough to get in my way, I have killed. I don't run.

Look at you! A fucking broken mask, that's all it took to make you lose your shit! You're screaming at voices in your head because you remember one sniveling brat that whined about needing a hug. You're just as weak as he was.

Ralrai is gone. His memories… they don't matter. They're just-

Quit lying… If you were strong, youd've already saved your precious Arwen. You would've killed every Silencer months ago. You would've torn that amazon bitch apart the second you saw her. You would've made that brat in your head stay down. No… you're too weak to save Arwen. If you can't even get Ralrai's memories to shut up, you've got no chance. She's gone. And that is your fault.

No… No, I will get her back. Jingles is strong enough to-

You're not Jingles, you're not a Jester! You're the same whelp who ran from me!

I am Jingles! I am the crazy bastard who will-

You're Ralrai! Still Ralrai! Hide from it all you want! You can't lie to me, or her, or yourself! You aren't going save Arwen. You didn't deserve her in the first place, Ralrai.

When Calilili was finished treating the others, she found Jingles curled into himself against the wall. His once bright blue eyes were now flickering purple as his mask tried to hold itself together. He wasn't crying. He was shaking, silently babbling to himself.

Calilili didn't recognize the name he was trying to say. She couldn't hear the screaming in his mind as that old voice berated him and reminded him of a life better left forgotten. She put a blanket over him, trying to keep him warm while she healed what she could. Jingles didn't seem to notice.

Just me knocking out one quick story I've had pending in the back of my head basically since the session when it happened. Also have some art pending for it because it was just one of those moments that the entire party went, "Holy shit!"

My plan is to try knocking out one more short story of some cute fluff for Tali and Shepard, then getting back into writing the giant Dishonored fic I got going. Anything to keep me off the news/Twitter and acknowledging reality at this point. But we'll see how it goes. Hope ya'll enjoy Jingles losing his shit for a few minutes!

D&D belongs to Wizards of the Coast.

The Jester design is heavily inspired from Red Hook Games' Darkest Dungeon.

Jingles and this story are mine.