Well now. It's been quite a while since I've posted anything. Frankly, I don't watch SVU much anymore, but Rolivia will always have a special place in my heart. I have quite a few chapters still in my google docs from when I was actively writing this story, and I thought I'd post them for those who were enjoying it. I can't promise I will write more or finish the story, but I will post what I have left and if I decide to not continue, I will wrap it up in a way that still feels satisfying. Thank you all for the support, I don't deserve it, since I abandoned this story and this fandom, but here you go-if anyone even chooses to read this.

Much love,

Lili

Amanda and Jessie get up an hour later that same morning, relocating to the living room while Olivia takes a shower in the master bathroom.

It's midway through one of Jessie's television shows that a flash of images catapults through her head, and she nearly drops her bowl of cereal on Olivia's plush rug. She and Olivia are standing in an office, she assumes it's Olivia's. There's an intense gap between both women, not only physically, but mentally.

"Do you wanna tell me how you wound up working undercover at a gambling club?"

She hears Olivia's raspy voice, full of disappointment and ice, loud and clear. Her breath hitches and the headache that had gone away just a day ago is back with a vengeance. The scenes of that day, which seem long ago because Olivia looks different; shorter hair, deeper scars in her passionate brown eyes..

The memory washes over her like a movie.

The look Olivia gives her, the watery eyes that cast down to the corner of her polished desk, is one that new Amanda never wishes to experience firsthand. Well, firsthand again.

"You know," Olivia starts, head nodding ever so slightly and voice clipped so sharp that it sounds forced, "Lieutenant Murphy may trust you... I don't."

The next thing she knows, she's slamming the bowl of cereal onto the table, hands clasping around her head as she winces. She faintly feels a soft hand touching her back and knee but all she can focus on right now is the unexpected stab of pain.

And just as quickly as it's here, it starts to wane, her breathing is deep and rough and she groans when the muscles in her body uncoil. She'll feel the aftereffects of this one for a few hours at least. An hour ago, she wouldn't have suspected that her morning would go like this.

"Amanda.." Olivia whispers, fingers moving under the blonde's hand, loosening the blonde's tight grip on herself as she presses the warm tips of her fingers into a quivering jaw. Jessie climbs onto the couch and wraps her small body around her mother's, unshed tears making those big blue eyes look glassy.

When Amanda finally regains her bearings, she lowers her hands gently and looks at Olivia. "Damn.." She mutters, swallowing thickly and attempting to crack a grin. It instead comes out as a wince-like gape.

"What the hell happened?" The older woman asks, voice in a high whisper. Her worried eyes, much different from the hardened set in her memory, roam every inch of the blonde's face as tanned fingers tangle softly in blonde waves. "Do you need me to take you to the hospital?"

"No, no.. I just.. I had a memory, I think."

The sigh of relief that expels from Olivia is nearly comical. She lowers her forehead to the blonde's knee, and only then does Amanda realize that Olivia is kneeling on the floor, robe wrapped messily around her body, dampened from the remnants of her shower. "Jessie came running into the bathroom and then I heard you.. Groan in pain.. and I thought you were having a seizure or something."

"No, I'm okay, really. I promise, Liv." She finally manages a smiles despite the new, worrisome thoughts about her memory, despite the pain from regaining that memory.

"What was it.." Olivia moves up onto the couch to sit next to Amanda, clasping both of the younger woman's hands in her own on her robe clad lap. "What did you remember?"

Amanda looks over at Jessie, who is still wrapped around her body, "Peach, mama's okay." She cooes, smiling as wide as she can. "Why don't you go get some of your favorite toys and we can play?"

Reluctantly, the little girl extracts herself from her mother and dashes off into her room, giving Olivia and Amanda some privacy.

She looks back at Olivia, who is waiting patiently for an answer.

"I don't know when it happened, it seemed like it was maybe a few years ago? Your hair was short-"

"I was in it?" Olivia asks, slightly shocked.

"Yeah…" She takes a deep breath. "You were upset with me. You asked me how I ended up undercover.."

Olivia shrinks at that.

Of course, Amanda thinks. Of all the things she could possibly remember, it's the one where she and Olivia are on a bad foot. Where it has the potential to ruin whatever progress they seemed to make earlier that morning. More specifically, the progress Olivia had seemed to make, the moment they'd shared felt like something monumental between the women.

"I'd told you that I didn't trust you.." Olivia murmurs, eyes shooting down, just like they did when she had said the cold words.

"For what it's worth," Amanda attempts a joke, "it looks like I deserved it."

Olivia's still frowning but her eyes lighten, "so you only remember that conversation?"

"Yeah."

The older woman nods, fingers loosening around Amanda's.

"None of that, Liv." The blonde says quickly, tightening her grasp.

"I was honest when I said how passionate you were about things. And how ornery you were too. It was a rough time for all of us... mostly you," she takes a deep breath and shrugs, "I can't say that I take back what I said, because you had gone behind my back.. People got hurt, including you. But I do wish we would have maybe tried to.. I don't know, understand each other more."

Amanda nods thoughtfully.

"You know, you can be pretty scary when you want to be." She says, and it pulls an unexpected laugh from the older woman's lips. There. Safer ground.

"I know that things were hard for you after that. You may have even harbored some resentment toward me."

Amanda nods, "Maybe. But I don't feel that now."

Olivia tilts her head, "What's it like for you? Not having your memories and regaining them slowly."

Amanda leans back, head resting against the older woman's shoulder and they release hands to adjust so they're both seated comfortably, now curled up with one another. They hear the musical toys going off in the bedroom and conclude that Jessie has forgotten to bring her toys out and is now playing in the room by herself, giving them more time.

"You know how you kind of re-meet someone for like.. The second time, where you know their name and maybe their age and a few small details about them?" She feels olivia nod against the crown of her head and she continues, "well, it's like that. Except I'm the person I'm meeting for the second time. And as for the memories.. I don't feel whatever I may have felt during that time. It's like I'm reading a book or watching a movie. It's just a story."

"That is.. So strange.." Olivia hums.

"Yeah, it's pretty weird. But I guess, maybe depending on the memory, it's good that I don't actually have to go through whatever hurt or trauma I went through in that time. It's good that it's just a story now."

"That's one way to look at it." Olivia agrees, and they sit there for a few moments, just breathing and taking in the moment. The younger woman enjoys the feeling of Olivia's body behind hers, the way they just so happen to fit perfectly together.

She nearly completely forgets about her headache.

"You want some cereal?" she asks, and Olivia chuckles breathily behind her.

"I'll get myself some after I get dressed."

And then Amanda remembers that Olivia is naked under that robe. She sits up and turns to face the older woman, eyes grazing over the brunette's curvy form. "I mean, you don't have to.."

A dark brow arches and Olivia blushes furiously. "I don't think I'll ever get used to your lack of filter." She sits up, fingers unconsciously going to the tie of her robe. "This is very new for me," she admits, smiling shyly.

"I'm just going off my vast memory here, but I think it may be new for me too. A lot of things are new for me right now.. Being a mom, a detective sort of, and.. This thing with you."

"This thing?" Olivia asks skeptically.

"It's a thing. I'm sure we don't just kiss our friends."

"No, we don't."

"But my point is.. Just because it's new, doesn't mean it's not right. We're just two adults, well maybe one and a half.. Who are exploring their options." She smiles, brushing her fingers lightly over the cotton of Olivia's robe on her lower thigh.

Olivia's jaw works slowly as she takes in the other woman's words, and Amanda just wants to kiss the tension away. With a sigh, the brunette finally concludes. "You're right."

Amanda's eyes brighten and she sits up straighter, moving closer to the older woman. They've successfully handled a bad memory together, and it makes the blonde feel like they'll be able to handle anything now. Her body aches from the exertion but she doesn't care. "Why do I get the feeling that hearing you say that is a first?"

"Because it is. Don't get used to it." Despite the clipped tone, Olivia wears a warm smirk and shining brown eyes.

Amanda closes the distance between them and cups the other woman's cheek, feeling the warmth of her blush on the tips of her fingers. "Can I get used to this?" She asks, referring to the intimacy of their position, their closeness.

Brown eyes flicker to the younger woman's lips, "I suppose we can work it into our daily schedule.."

"I'm so glad." She mutters, bringing her lips to Olivia's in a chaste but passionate kiss. It's their second one today and it's no less magnificent than the first one. Amanda drags one hand from Olivia's cheek down to her shoulder then around her curvaceous waist, gripping the soft cotton of her cream colored robe tightly. Olivia relaxes into it and they fall into an intimate liplock.

She will never tire of tasting Olivia's lips. She knows that for a fact.

…

Over the next few days, they fall into a somewhat normal routine. Amanda heals more and more each day, and now, nearly a week later, she's almost completely healed of her superficial injuries. Hips, fractures, ribs and head all pain free when she isn't overworking herself.

That Friday evening, Olivia had returned to her apartment with a bag in hand, full of what looks to be photo albums.

"What's that?" Amanda asks, peeking curiously at the content.

Olivia hands the younger woman the bag and shrugs off her jacket and blazer, hanging them on her coat rack. "I stopped at your apartment and found some photo albums. Maybe whatever's in there might jog your memory a bit on who and what you can remember."

Amanda arches a brow, looking at one album that says "Jessie".

"We can both go through them after dinner if you'd like." The older brunette suggests, a small smile tugging on her lips.

"Sure, that sounds nice." She tries not to let anything negative show, but the way Olivia furrows her brows slightly tells the blonde that she can see the far away look on her features.

"Are you alright?" Olivia asks, touching the younger woman's shoulder comfortingly.

"Yeah.. Today's just been.." she pauses and shrugs, rubbing her eyebrow with her knuckle in effort to find the words to say.

Olivia takes the bag and sets it on the floor next to the couch, pulling Amanda closer, "What is it?"

"I'm healed."

"What?"

Amanda gestures to her head and then the rest of her body. "I haven't been in pain for a few days now. I keep thinking about when I'll have to go back to my apartment.."

Olivia dropped her head a bit, mouth parting, "Who said anything about going home?" Amanda's sure she didn't mean to sound as hurt and shocked as she did, but a wave of relief washes through her.

"I just feel like we're overstaying now and-"

Olivia silences her with her lips, fingers winding through blonde hair firmly, and everything that may be hard to voice is conveyed easily in the kiss; it's nowhere near soft or slow, complete with a head tilt to deepen it and the peak of Olivia's shy tongue. In seconds, Amanda forgets what she couldn't seem to forget all day.

She also takes into account that this is the first kiss that she hasn't initiated. This one's all Olivia.

Tiny arms wrap around both of their legs, interrupting their steamy moment. "Ivv!"

They pull away slowly and Olivia blushes as she lifts the little girl up. "Hi cutie pie, did you have a good day with mama?"

"Yes!" She cups Olivia's cheeks with tiny hands, "iss?"

An even deeper blush tinges the older woman's tanned cheeks, Amanda nearly doubles over in laughter, and Olivia shoots a glare her way as she presses a soft kiss to the little girl's cheek. "I think mama needs a time out."

"Yes! Ti-out!"

"What! What did I do?"

Olivia smirks coyly, "Plenty, Rollins."

As the brunette sets Jessie down and moves past Amanda to the kitchen, fingers sliding reassuringly down the younger woman's back. Amanda feels a shiver shoot through her spine at softly muttered words in her ear.

"You don't have to go anywhere."