A/N: Hi guys, sorry for the delay to post, I know how eager everyone is. Unfortunately, my beta and I have many tasks beyond translating the fanfic, but we are not going to abandon the story. The chapters will be translated and posted and I hope you will continue here and continue to enjoy the story. I love you guys.

Chapter 7

Sharon's case started to cool down on the third week of investigation. They had no more leads to follow. No witnesses, no camera footage, no new evidence. A complete dead end.

Brenda and Andy spent most of their time feeling like their hands were tied; that they were failing Sharon. And as if that wasn't enough, the walls were very thin in the LAPD building, and in a matter of days, the rumors spread quickly. Every officer knew about the assault. At least, it wasn't their knowledge the sexual abuse part, for now. Not telling Pope was the right call, Brenda reflected with a sigh of relief.

A few days ago, she was informed that Sharon was getting back. Almost a month later, Captain Raydor would step back in the LAPD corridors. She had been released to get back on duty by the psychologist, and would return to work at any time now. Through the glass in her office, Brenda watched as Andy's worry and anxiety grew with every passing day, since he discovered that Sharon would return.

Brenda was glad to know that the bond between Sharon and Andy was strong enough to help the Captain during these dark days, especially after meeting the Captain's husband, Jack Raydor. Sometimes you wonder how such different people would ever be together, and they were the perfect example. She wasn't so close to them to know everything that they went through though, but still it was odd. At least, from Brenda's point of view.

However, even if this bonding offered Sharon support, it wasn't free of concern, wondered Deputy Chief. She couldn't help but feel uneasy with that proximity. She was completely aware of the multiple ways romance in the work place could go wrong, and it would be a disaster if they started a 'romance' and it ended in the worst scenario. It even sounded strange to her. A romance between them.

She feared the time to talk to Andy about this sudden closeness between him and Raydor was getting closer. Getting him upset was always a possibility, but it was better to clear everything before having two broken hearts inside the Murder Room. As these thoughts tormented her, Brenda saw Andy check on his phone for the millionth time that day.

Sharon was gripping the steering wheel so tight; her fingers were almost pale. It had been ten minutes since she was in her car. Ten minutes of trying to gain enough courage to step inside the LAPD. Today would be her first day back, after everything; And until that very moment she parked her car in her usual spot, she thought she was ready, or at least, fine. But all that previous courage was gone when she passed through the gates of the LAPD garage.

The Captain knew that her team would be waiting for her. Elliot had been informed as well as Chief Pope of her return. Now, however, she was terrified of entering the office. This fear weakened her legs and made her stomach sick. The night before, she had questioned Andy if there was any kind of gossip in the department, and even him had reluctantly admitted that there was. Sharon Raydor was the main subject of any circle of conversation between the officers, and since they weren't aware of all the facts, the sky was the limit for their speculation.

When her cellphone rang again, Sharon closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to calm down and pretend that everything was fine. That this was just any other day. Finally, feeling a little more confidence in her system, she released her seatbelt and prepared to open her car's door, when a knock on the passenger window almost made her get out of her skin.

"Jesus Christ". She said a little higher than usual and put her hand on her chest trying to calm her racing heart. "Andy, you almost gave me a heart attack".

"Sorry". He apologized opening the door for her. "You didn't respond to my messages and I was starting to get worried".

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine".

Andy stared at her without saying anything. It was clear he didn't believe her. With a sigh, he accepted the defeat and stepped towards the elevators.

"Are you going up now?"

"Yes". She responded, following him with heavy slow steps. "I didn't answer your messages because I was building up the courage to walk in".

Her confession was made reluctantly, yet it was one more proof that she trusted him with her fears. Andy hid his relieved smile after her short revelation. These last few weeks they had regained a fraction of their once strong connection. Family, work, life in general; their topics seemed endless. It felt like the old times sometimes, but with something different in the air. Years had passed by, and now they were relearning about these new versions of themselves again. If only the circumstances were favorable.

He knew her enough to read her. This morning, he could tell Sharon had hidden behind her Darth Raydor armor. Her body language, with her nose slightly up and impeccable posture followed by her steady voice were indications enough for him. And, as he figured, he was left out of it. At first, he was a little upset when she answered some of his messages with a cold tone. But looking at her closely, he knew she was afraid to face everyone.

As they entered the elevator, two officers stared at her bluntly. Both of them verifying on her body if the damages they had heard were true. But as soon as their eyes reached Sharon's face, the two young men looked away and shifted in embarrassment. The ride to the 7th floor, where FID was located, was full of silent but curious glances, the elevator stopped several times, and on each one of them, Sharon's anxiety increased. When they finally reached her floor, the elevator was still very crowded. As the doors opened, she noticed Andy took a step to accompany her, but she touched his arm before he could move, shaking her head with a discreet nod. Since they had a small audience around them, she didn't want any more gossip to arise, specially about the Lieutenant showing openly his protective side on her.

With a sinking heart, Andy watched her go.

Sharon could feel Andy's eyes burning on her back before the elevator doors closed. She appreciated the efforts he was making to respect her limits. In these past few weeks of maintaining a closer relationship, Sharon remembered how Andy could be very protective, but still respectful.

For that reason, she preferred they went separate ways. She didn't like the looks directed at her. The LAPD sometimes felt like a High School, the feeling of judgement has always been there, but today it was sharp in the air. It felt like she was the center of a silent joke. And having the Lieutenant around her would be potentially another matter against her.

She straightened her posture, opening the door of her department as a loud "Welcome, Captain Raydor!" made her stop. She found herself staring at a smiling Elliot and a few more Sergeants and Lieutenants from her division.

Sergeant Elliot came towards her with open arms. Oh, no. He was going to hug her, she realized. She panicked for a second. It had been bad enough in the crowded elevator, and if he touched her, she wouldn't answer for herself. Perhaps all these thoughts were clear in her expression as she watched the sergeant slow his approach.

"Captain, welcome back. We missed you". His smile was wan, since his plans for a hug were foiled.

"Thank you very much, Elliot". She cleared her throat. "It was very generous of you to make this small reception. You didn't have to do all of this". She answered with a smiled genuinely.

"Of course, I did". He shrugged. "But I presume you want to know about our current cases first?". His voice lowered as his sentence progressed, disappointment clear in his voice.

This interaction between them distracted her of their surroundings. She was almost oblivious to the looks her team was giving her. They seemed as curious as the rest of the LAPD and didn't hide it.

The morning dragged on peacefully. Sharon hid in her office most of the time and asked no one to disturb her. She managed to maintain control and pushed away the persistent feeling of failure and fear that having so many people around brought her. The shame of being attacked still plagued her and getting pitying eyes on her didn't help much either.

When lunchtime approached, she sighed relieved to hear the chatter on the other side of the door subside as her team left. She finally let her posture relax as her back touched the back of her chair. She was almost glad to be alone. It was the first moment that day that she felt safe. Aside, of course, from the small conversation she had with Andy earlier. It alarmed her how, after all this time, his voice could still make her feel so secure and relaxed.

Sharon was so focused on her thoughts that the timid sound of a knock on her door passed unnoticed. She almost jumped out her chair when a deep voice reached her ears.

"Sharon?". Those brown eyes she knew so well were offering her a concerned look. He had two bags in his hand, both from a restaurant near the police station. "Are you alright?". He asked hesitantly.

"Andy". She left a breath she didn't know she was holding leave her lungs. A subtill smile crypted in, even though her eyes revealed how frightened she was moments ago. "You're still going to give me a heart attack someday." She said as she placed her hand on her chest.

Andy rolled his eyes at the 'drama queen' expression she was displaying in front of him. Few people knew about this fun and sarcastic side of her. He was glad he was one of them, he acknowledged with a grin.

"I brought you lunch". He lifted the bags, pressing his eyes together to look over the name on them. "And– Oh, look! It's from that 'fancy' place you like". He announced with a serious face about to break into a smile. "I always knew If I ever go bankrupt, it'd be because of you". He finished as he sat down.

Sharon watched this little performance with a wide smile. "Andy". It was all she could think as she laughed. "You know you didn't have to do this". Her voice was still carrying humor. "Thank you". For making me laugh. She wanted to add.

"It was no trouble. I knew you would avoid leaving your cave". His finger pointed the space around them.

"Oh, and who's the 'drama queen' now?". This time, she was the one to teased as she rolled her eyes.

However, Sharon knew he had a point. She wasn't willing to leave her office unless it was absolutely necessary. If avoiding everyone's prying expressions on her meant waiting until the end of the day, she would gladly wait.

The two of them ate in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence. Sharon constantly diverted her stare to Andy with curious eyes. She kept wondering why he was so committed to making her feel good. Even after all this time. Was it guilt for arriving first at the crime scene? Or maybe he cared about her a little more than she thought he did. No, of course not. That was years ago.

"Andy". She said getting his attention. "Why do you keep coming back?". She formulated carefully, putting her fork down.

"Why do you always ask that?" He responded right away, with a small smile.

"Until weeks ago, we couldn't stand the sight of one another and now...". Her voice trailed off. Why was he doing it? That question kept coming back at her each time he hesitantly touched her arm; looked at her with warm eyes; spoke to her with that soft voice she used to adore, but would never admit. Her mind was submersed in thoughts as she placed her food container back on her desk. She hadn't even eaten half of the chicken salad he brought her. She wasn't feeling very hungry anymore. She looked at him as she weighted her next words. "We used to fight all the time and now..., it's like we're– hm, back at being best friends".

"And does it bother you? That I'm your friend?". His shoulder straightened; he had a serious face. Suddenly, he was afraid he had stepped over the thin wall they had slowly built over the years, in a silent agreement.

"Actually, yes. Yes, it does". She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "I know I called you that night. But I didn't think you would stay– I mean, I thought that you would just follow protocol and leave".

She looked up and he was still in the same position. She continued. "You keep coming back, Andy. It feels like I'm asking you to protect me, even though I never did. And I don't like that. I've been looking after myself for a really long time, I don't need you for that". She finished, putting her hands together.

He was speechless for a moment. She caught him off guard. He nodded as he absorbed her words. "I understand your point, but I'm not doing it for you". He responded, placing his container beside hers. "Not completely".

"What do you mean?". Her voice not above a whisper.

"You were once my partner, Ronnie". His face softened and the air shifted as her nickname rolled out of his lips so easily, just like it used to. Andy knew he was the only person who called her that way. As he felt a nostalgic wave hit him, he was wondering if she felt it too. Maybe she did, as her cheeks blushed. He decided to continue anyway. "And I'll always have your back. I don't want anything bad to happen again and if that means, me being your shadow, so be it. It makes me feel more relaxed".

"So, do you think that if that happens again, I won't be able to defend myself?" She stared at him with narrowed eyes, crossing her arms. Sharon pushed aside the way her skin tingled by the sudden use of her nickname.

"That's not what I said, don't distort my words". He retorted upset. "I know you very well and, I also know your abilities as a police officer, but that doesn't stop me from worrying".

"I am fine". She repeated it for the millionth time. "I know how to protect myself and I will make sure it doesn't happen again." This time her voice failed, cracking the strong façade she was building up for him. She swallowed dry.

As her words filled the air around them, Sharon hoped she could take them back. It was an obvious lie. After that night, she didn't know if she could trust herself again. That man took along with her dignity, her courage with him. She wasn't ready to admit that to anyone, not even Andy – specially Andy.

He must have noticed her internal dialogue, as he tried to touch her over her desk. She moved away from him. Not out of fear, just afraid that he would feel dirty; as dirty as she was feeling right now. It was illogical and irrational; however, she didn't know how to cease this unchanging mindset. All the time; She felt that way all the time.

"I think you better go, Andy." She whispered hesitantly; never looking at him. "I have a pile of paperwork to read and sign. Thank you for the lunch". Her voice shifted to her steady Captain tone.

"Ronnie...". He wasn't ready for Captain Raydor now, he wanted to talk to his friend. He scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to–"

"It's all right, Lieutenant. Just– I need sometime alone". She attempted a smile. "I'll be fine".

He looked straight into her rich green eyes and observed as the small tears formed on the corner of her eyes. Her emeralds didn't look away this time, they were locked in his. Their nonverbal communication hasn't been a victim of the time, and that took her by surprise. They both knew that that reassurance of hers was a lie, and she only kept telling him that, to be in control of her self-image. The truth was that now, she was even more depressed than she was hours ago, and Andy kicked himself for pushing her out of her safe net by telling her his own fears. What was he thinking?

Not wanting to pressure her any further, Andy was the first to break the contact, grabbing the bags.

Sharon watched him leave silently. As she heard the door close behind him, she allowed the first tear to roll down her cheeks. The pain of shame pulsed in her chest, she felt embarrassed. Embarrassed that she hadn't been capable of protecting herself as she should have, and claimed to do; That she didn't feel safe talking about it freely to anyone; That she felt trapped, with no escape plan. There was no route, no alternative. She was stuck in this dark fog with any light to guide her way out. Those few minutes stole the security and boldness that she was once proud to express. Sharon tried to silence the voice in her head that repeated over and over that she was just another number to the statistics; another woman abused by a stronger man.

Irritated for crying at work, she wiped away her tears, shaking her head slightly. She returned her focus to the reports in front of her. At least there she could pretend she was strong and useful to her subordinates, and yes, being locked up in her office would calm her... and Andy, too.

Taking a deep breath and slowly building up the Captain Raydor's armor, Sharon tried to forget her own demons and return to work.

Andy kicked himself mentally for having this conversation with Sharon. He shouldn't have admitted that to her, and he wasn't proud of how the conversation turned out. He knew she was blaming herself for everything, even if that sounds absurd. The Lieutenant was also aware that her words about feeling safe were false. He watched her face as they entered the LAPD that morning. Her eyes were scanning everywhere at once, looking after an imminent threat, ready to jump on her. She would never reveal how terrified she was as people crossed her way in the halls, but she didn't have to; he knew her. He just hoped she would find her way to get over it.

"Flynn, where the hell were you?" Provenza grunted as soon as he entered the murder room. "We just got a case".

The older Lieutenant passed by Andy, as he wore his jacket and grumbled nonsenses under his breath. Andy followed his partner silently.

It didn't take long to get to the crime scene. Kendall was already there when everyone arrived. Apparently, it was another murder.

"What do we have here, Kendall?" Brenda asked as she bent down to take a better look at the body.

"Woman, about 20 years old. Two shots, one at the base of the skull and another in the back".

"Execution?" Gabriel inquired.

"Not really". Kendall spoke. "The shots were fired from a considerable distance".

"Any identification with her?" Andy questioned, taking his note pad.

Kendall rummaged in a bag next to the body and took the victim's driver license. Brenda, who had already put on the latex gloves, started rummaging through the contents in the bag to find something useful.

"Dorothy Ann Grooves, 22 years old". Kendall read the document with bitterness in his voice. "It says here that she's from Tennessee".

"My God, she was so far from home." Tao commented sadly, glancing at her lifeless body. Everyone seemed to repeat his action.

"Okay". Provenza bought his hands together, drawing the team's attention to him. He sensed the mood changing and this wasn't the time to let emotions control them. "This is a terrible tragedy, but what classifies this case as a Major Crime?". He questioned.

"Because this is not just a homicide, Lieutenant. We may have a critical missing in our hands". The deputy Chief had a strained voice as she showed them a photo, where the victim was hugging a little girl of no more than 3 years old. The little girl was holding a stuffed puppy.

"God". Provenza sighed despondently. "So, we need to start–". The Lieutenant stopped his speech, as he noticed Julio hurrying towards them. The detective was holding the stuffed puppy from the photo. Everyone felt a cold chill travel their bodies.

"I found that in that alley, sir." Julio started. "I don't know if it's important to the case, but it was close to several footsteps".

Brenda handed him the photo she found in the victim's purse and headed for the alley where Julio had said he found the stuffed puppy. She didn't see the Detective's reaction.

"We need forensic. Now!".

In a blink of an eye, the forensic experts showed up and gathered every piece of evidence they could find at the location. Provenza and Andy took out their cell phones and started making some calls; for the Missing Persons Unit and for reinforcements with nearby patrols.

The only advantage they had, this was a clear day, which would work in their favor to look after the little girl. However, the neighborhood seemed reluctant to tell what they heard or saw.

"Okay, we have to get in touch with Dorothy's family, for that I need Lieutenant Flynn and Lieutenant Tao to return downtown now. And Andy, when you get there, look up for everything you can about her family and her finances. Lieutenant Tao, I want you to break into that cellphone and find anything that indicates who wanted to take revenge on her or who wanted to kidnap her little girl". Brenda demanded the orders with a tired sigh. "Lieutenant Provenza, I need you to stay and coordinate the search in the area with the patrols. Julio and Gabriel keep trying to talk to the neighbors, someone must know something. Buzz, go back with Tao and Andy, try to find images from around this area".

Each one of them followed her directions, hoping it wasn't too late.

Sharon was just finishing the last report on her desk when she heard a knock on the door, followed by Elliot poking his head through it as she was still pronouncing 'Come in'.

"Captain, there was a shooting evolving the Narcotics Division. We were called in".

"Oh... right. I just need to sign another document and then we can leave". He nodded, closing the door. As she was left alone again, Sharon felt her heart racing. She wasn't feeling as confident as before, and she just hoped not to embarrass herself. Taking a long breath, she stood up, took her coat and gun.

Elliot was waiting for her near the elevator, glancing at nowhere in particular when he heard familiar footsteps down the hall. They were quick, sharp and definitely from heels. A half smile appeared on his face as he watched his Captain approaching him. Sometimes he wondered if she was aware that he had been developing a not-so-small crush on her over the years. The admiration he had for her shifted to romance somewhere during the last few years. Nodding in respect as she stood beside him, they kept silence the whole way down. Sharon was glad, he seemed to have understood her mood and avoided any conversation.

It was already getting dark when they arrived at the precise location. As soon as they got out of the car, she overheard an argument between one of the narcotics detectives and what appeared to be a civilian.

"Good evening, gentlemen". She spoke and saw some of the policemen roll their eyes at her. For the first time, she was actually relieved to be received that way, she almost thanked him for treating her as usual. "So, what happened here?"

"This idiot here doesn't know how to follow simple orders and I felt obligated to use my gun".

"You shot me, man! I was unarmed". He spoke under his breath.

"What did you expect? We arrested three of your colleagues and they were all armed. We asked you to raise your hands and lie on the floor. And what did you do? You ran away".

"Okay, gentlemen." Sharon raised her voice before this argument got heated. "Sergeant Elliot and Detective Harold, can you take the suspect to the car?"

"What? But–". Without having to repeat the order, the two officers took him away.

"Sergeant Boyle, I need your weapon for analysis".

"What– But Captain that idiot doesn't–"

"I'll get your statement soon, Sergeant". She interrupted him and held out her hand. "But I need your weapon now".

The man glared at her and took a step toward her, Sharon felt her body go cold with fear and swallowed. She was paralyzed, her heart pounding out of control as she watched the officer rise above her in anger.

However, before she said anything or even moved, one of the officers who was nearby approached her and gave him an almost imperceptible push. Boyle looked at his partner and Sharon saw when the other man gave her a condescending look and tried to smile. The sergeant seemed to understand and took a deep breath, took a step back and finally handed the gun to her.

Sharon stood silent, doing what she knew best; follow protocol. Just following a script made it easier to ignored the officer's condescended look towards her and the way her hands tremored as she waited. She took a deep breath and tried again.

"I need to send your gun to ballistics. And unfortunately, to return to scene until the end of the investigation."

"Okay, Captain." He responded softer this time, and even smiled trying to be nice to her. "It's only for a few days anyway, right?". He handed her his gun.

He didn't wait for her answer as he made his way to his colleagues, leaving her alone in the same place. Sharon watched him walk away in awe. She didn't like being put in the role of victim. It was as if everyone wanted to make life easier for her, like something shifted after that night, and suddenly she wasn't able to work properly.

As she tried to swallow the growing discomfort in her throat she headed over to Elliot, handing him her notepad and the gun. She asked him to continue with the questionings, as she wasn't feeling very well. Without questioning her, the sergeant said 'good night then, Captain' and watched her go.

Arriving home, Sharon went straight to the wine in her kitchen to calm down. She couldn't stand how every officer looked at her. Pity and mocked sympathy. Some tried to smile at her; others nodded in her direction, and then, there were the one who scanned her from head to toe, to see for themselves 'why' he did it. Those were the worst ones. When they watch her with a questioning look and a grin appear at the corner of their mouths, Sharon felt all the strong career she built over the years crumbling down. The respect she built as a Captain disappeared, and only Sharon – the weak and victim, remained in place.

She didn't want to cry tonight. That wasn't how she envisioned the rest of her day that morning. She tried to hold the sobs down, but they came easily. It all consumed her slowly. She felt like she was stuck at the bottom of a well where she couldn't see any light. Looking at the glass of wine in her hand, Sharon decided that she needed something stronger. Wiping away the tears angrily, she went after the bottle of whiskey she had hidden in case Jack showed up.

She took the bottle, pulled the lid and took a big gulp without a second thought. Her throat burned and she felt the grief go with it down her throat.

Sharon knew she shouldn't be doing this. The next day she would have to go to work, but it felt understandable for her to act that way. Knowing she would forget everything in the next minutes, was the only comfort she had at that moment.

She heard the ringing of her cellphone. Andy was calling her, but she didn't answer. She didn't want interruptions. Hanging up his call, she took another sip and let the darkness of her kitchen surround her.

To be continue...