I have an early start tomorrow for work so posting this early
.
.
Owen nods "I sure hope you didn't do all this on our behalf, Jack."
He turns and yells over his shoulder.m"You kids get out here and see what Uncle Jack has done to the house!"
"Owen?" Jack is baffled. "Owen?"
He looks off and is hit with another surprise …The biggest commercially-available RV is backed in his driveway. The door opens and two little kids, a boy and a girl, ROCKY and JANET, followed by a mixed breed hound, Snots, jump out. Rocky is six and Janet is five. The kids and dog run across the lawn.
Jack is stunned. He looks at Ianto. "Owen?"
Ianto is equally stunned. He shrugs. He doesn't have any idea why Owen and Toshiko have shown up. Owen and Toshiko greet the grandparents as the kids walk up. "If you don't remember, this is Rocky."
Art croons "You got a kiss for me?"
"Better take a rain check on that, Art." Owen calls out "He's got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet."
Art pats Rocky on the head.
"You remember Janet."
Jenny gushes "Oh, my gosh! Her eyes aren't crossed anymore!"
"Something ain't it? Falls in a well, eyes go crossed." Owen laughs "Gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal."
Owen slaps Snots on the flanks "This here is our pride and joy. Snots."
"Pretty name, Owie" Jack says inanely.
"We named him that 'cause he's got sinus troubles."
Jack looks up with disgust. Owen croons to Snots "Snots, you roll over and let Uncle Jack scratch your belly. (to Jack) You never saw a set on a dog like this one's got."
"It's alright, Owen."
"You rub his belly, Jack, and he'll love you till the day you die." Owen encourages.
"I really shouldn't. My hands are chapped."
Toshiko says to Ianto "We would have called, but Owen wanted to make it a surprise"
"Jack?" Owen asks "You surprised?"
"Surprised? Owen, if I woke tomorrow with my head sewed to the carpet, I couldn't be more surprised than I am right now."
Ianto gives Jack an angry look. "We have plenty of room. Plenty of everything. (to himself) I think."
"We're pretty much set in the R.V. It's a little tight, but we didn't come to impose." Owen assures everyone with a wave back at the R.V.
"Hell, there's plenty of room." Art says to Owen "Quit being so damn polite. You want to spend the holidays with four people jammed toe-to-nose in a motor home?"
Owen re-evaluates his position. "Toshiko and me are comfy in there. Maybe you folks wouldn't mind the youngsters shacking up with you. After that drive ... (puts his arm around Toshiko) We could use some time together. (to Toshiko) Sweet Pea, run and get the kids' things. And don't forget the rubber sheets and the gerbils."
.
.
Jack and Owen are standing at the tree sipping eggnog. Owen's wearing a flannel shirt tucked into sweat pants and leather tie shoes. He's showered. His hair's combed back. "Hell of a tree, Jack. Is it a real one?"
"Dug it out of the ground myself"
"Is that a fact?" Owen seems impressed.
Jack reaches under the tree. Snots is drinking the water out of the tree stand.
Jack shoos the dog out from under the tree. "JACK Get outta there!"
"Don't worry about it, Jack, a little tree water ain't gonna hurt him. Before we left, he drank half a quart of Pennzoil. Boy, when he lifted his leg the next morning ..." Owen roared with mirth.
"If he drinks the water out of there, the tree'll dry out." Jack explains patiently to Owen, as he has tried to do all their lives.
"Snots? Get outta there? Go to the kitchen and get something to eat!" Owen commands imperiously. The dog saunters out of the living room. "Cute, isn't he? Only problem is, he's got a little Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and go to town. You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. A word of warning though. If he does start on you, you best let him finish."
Jack changes the subject "I just can't believe you're actually standing here in my living room. I never thought the day would come."
"I'm excited about it, too. It's a cryin' shame the older kids couldn't make it. I got the daughter in the clinic to get cured off the Wild Turkey and the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career." Owen gushes.
"College?"
"Carnival."
Jack says facetiously "You gotta be proud."
"Oh, yeah. He worked last season as a pixie dust spreader on the Tilt-0-Whirl and he thinks maybe next season he'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak Woman. You ever see her?" Owen's question seems genuine as Jack blinks slowly.
Finally Jack manages "Sorry to say I haven't."
"Big horns growing right above her ears." Owen motions and spills Eggnog from his cup as he grins at jack "Ugly as sin but a real sweet gal and a hell of a good cook."
Changing the subject, Jack asks "Can I refill your eggnog, get you something to eat, drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"
Owen doesn't catch the insult. "I'm doing fine, Jack. Just glad to be here."
There's a lull in the conversation. Jack feels the need to fill it "Yeah. So, when did you get the tenement on wheels?"
"That's an R.V. I borrowed it off my buddy. He took my house. We took the R.V. It's a good-lookin' vehicle, ain't it?" Owen is smiling again.
"Beautiful. And it looks so nice backed in the driveway."
"Sure does, but don't go fallin' in love with it. When we leave next month, it's gain' with us." Owen warns.
"Huh?" Jack reels back as he learns how long Owen intends to stay.
Shit.
.
.
.
Night time and the house is glowing. Neighbors have gathered in the street and on the adjacent lawns. From several blocks away, the house continues to glow.
Jack's house glows in the far distance.
.
.
Art is in Scout's room. He's staring at the ceiling. He's bewildered. Two big foot holes are punched through the bimbo's chest. He gives up trying to figure out what happened to the poster. He rolls over and settles into the bed. He turns revealing that the back of his head is white with plaster dust. As he pulls the covers up around his shoulders, a cloud of dust rises.
Rocky and Janet are sleeping in the hide-a-bed. A cage packed with anxious gerbils rests between them. Rocky smiles and we hear the soft splatter of water on rubber. On the floor are an annoyed and Scout and Alice. Scout's laying on top of Alice. She's struggling beneath his dead-weight.
Jack and Ianto are in bed, awake. The lights are off. The room is illuminated by the outdoor lights.
"I'm not complaining, I just don't know how we can have a nice Christmas with Owen here." Jack says softly.
"Well, they are sleeping the driveway."
"And isn't that a kick in the nuts?" Jack moans "How can the house look like anything but a junkyard with his shack on wheels parked in the driveway?"
"You've never judged anyone by how much or how little they have, Jack."
"No, and I never will. If Owen was rich ..." There's a long pause. "He'd be worse. Good night, Tiger."