To armadas: Now that would have been dark… I approve!

To Anon: I get the feeling there won't be too many feeling bad for him…

To Lyger 0: Unfortunately, Night Bat only heard about it secondhand, so I suppose he can be forgiven for taking the radio at its word! And I mean, can you blame him for wanting to be absolutely certain XY isn't going to join the Heroes of Paris and give them yet another powerhouse hero?

To Butterfly: That is impressive that he rates below both Hawk Moth and Night Bat!

To StarDaPanda225: Hmm… not so much.

To yellow 14: Oh, he'd bounce. Once. Maybe. The definitive answer to that question comes in this chapter…

"Your face when Cat Noir said you were all heroes… Priceless!"

Adrien chuckled on hearing the amusement in Stompp's voice. The girls were still out, so the five of them had decided to return to the Liberty after their conversation with Xtreme tonalitY. Luka had picked up his guitar to play a new song while the other four had taken seats around the middle of the deck and the Kwamis had congregated together on the table between them with a plate of snacks. However, despite the food, Plagg and Stompp had not stopped laughing since they had arrived. Adrien could understand their point, of course; Plagg still teased him about the almost-crippling crush on Ladybug that had completely blinded him to Marinette's matching crush on him – and the fact that the two were the same. For their part, Luka and Ivan still couldn't stop comparing notes of how they had missed that they were both heroes.

"Now, now," Sass chided, laying a paw on Stompp's shoulder. "They chose to respect each other's privacy before now. We cannot fault them for that."

"Sass is correct," Wayzz added, giving Plagg a pointed look. "Cat Noir had to reveal everything under the circumstances; had they attempted to address the situation without knowing they were not alone, it could have been so much worse."

"You and Sugar Cube," Plagg grumbled, folding his arms in a pout. "You just have to suck the joy out of everything."

"I don't fault them for anything," insisted Stompp, grinning. "I'm just messing with them. Ivan knows that, right, big guy?" He gave Ivan a wide-eyed look.

Ivan smiled ruefully and held out his fist for the Kwami to bump. "It's no more than I've been thinking this whole time," he admitted. "Still," he added, smiling at the group, "I don't regret knowing that practically all my best friends are also my hero partners!"

Even more than you think… Adrien thought with some amusement, coughing into his hand to mask a snort of laughter. Perhaps they would cross that bridge later; for now, it was a problem for the future.

"You people and your bloody secrets," Felix muttered, shaking his head. "Is knowing your partner's name really that important?"

"Don't you want to know your partner's name?" asked Adrien in surprise. "I wanted Ladybug to trust me enough to share her identity from the moment I first laid eyes on her!"

Nino snorted. "Smitten," he joked, elbowing Adrien in the ribs. Adrien grinned back sheepishly.

"I know what I need to know about her," Felix replied with a shrug, looking away. "I know she's intelligent and tough. I know she's kind and cares about other people. I know I trust her."

"Dude, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were actually connecting with another human being," Nino observed, raising an eyebrow at Felix. "I'm impressed."

"Trust is a very valuable commodity," Luka noted. "It's so important to trust the people you work with, regardless of whether you know their secret identity."

"But unfortunately you don't want everyone knowing that…" Adrien added, frowning.

Nino opened his mouth to respond, but shut it suddenly, a startled look on his face. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened it. "That's funny," he said instead, staring at the phone screen. "A guest-submitted video on the Ladyblog." He handed his phone to Adrien.

Adrien stared at the image on the screen showing a balding man with short white hair, a mustache, and a wild look in his panic-filled eyes. "Why is Bob Roth contacting us?" he wondered.

Cat Noir launched off his staff and retracted it to normal staff-length as he landed on the balcony of the Roths' penthouse suite a couple floors below the roof of Le Grand Paris. He attached the leash end to the railing and waited a moment as the other four clambered up the Hound's leash to join him. Inside the suite he could see Bob Roth pacing the room from one end to the other, wringing his hands and gesticulating to himself. His normally neat hair was all in disarray, sticking out in all directions and giving him the look of a mad monk. His jacket missing, his shirt was untucked, buttoned wrong, and wrinkled in ways it hadn't been last time they had been here. Finally he turned and caught sight of the growing group of heroes on the balcony. He flung the door open and pulled Cat Noir inside, who was followed by the other four.

"So what is going on?" Cat Noir demanded, folding his arms as Bob Roth collapsed onto the couch, burying his face in his hands. "You and XY didn't seem overly interested in what we had to say less than an hour ago; what changed?"

"I–I didn't know who else to call," Bob Roth began hesitantly, picking up a glass from the side table. "I–I–I swear I had no idea anything was wrong; he was perfectly fine when I left!"

"What happened?" Carapace asked, stepping up next to Cat Noir. "Start from the beginning."

"I went downstairs to organize our concert equipment on the tenth floor," Bob Roth started, his hands shaking so badly he spilled his drink.

The Hound snorted. "I'm sure. Oh, yes, you were 'organizing' her 'concert equipment' very well…" Viperion elbowed him with a frown, and the Hound fell back across the other couch, a smirk still plastered across his face.

Bob Roth glared at them. "I had no idea anything was wrong until Xavier fell screaming past the window!" Cat Noir's jaw dropped. "I thought he was about to die until a rope shot down after him. I got to the window to see him just dangling by his ankle, swaying in the wind."

Cat Noir caught Carapace's eye and they both nodded. "Tyran-X."

"What's a 'Tyran-X'?" Bob Roth wondered, cocking his head in confusion.

"Tyran-X is an evil miraculous user," Carapace explained, mouth set in a firm line. "Works with a dude that calls himself Night Bat, and they work for this crime boss called the Lynchpin."

"Tyran-X likes destroying monuments and tourist attractions for fun and making us try to stop him," Taureau Dechaine added darkly. "One time he nearly brought the Eiffel Tower down with an earthquake."

"What?" Bob Roth's jaw dropped and his eyes shifted rapidly between the five heroes. "There's an evil miraculous user working for a crime boss? Why didn't you warn us about that!?"

"We did!" retorted Cat Noir, fire in his eyes. "Remember those dangers we told you about, less than an hour ago? All those terrible things that can happen when the world knows your identity? This is one of them!"

Bob Roth started breathing rapidly, blinking repeatedly. "I don't believe this…" he moaned.

"Where have you been for the six months, dude?" Carapace demanded, a bewildered look on his face. "We've been fighting evil miraculous users all over Paris since March!"

"I–um–that is to say–we've been on tour!" Bob Roth mumbled, failing to meet the heroes' eyes.

"Oh, pull yourself together, man!" the Hound told him, rolling his eyes. "He didn't go splat, so what did happen?"

"I–I don't know," Bob Roth stuttered. "I saw a bunch of people fly away west, carrying Xavier at the end of that rope. But the strangest thing is that for some reason he was wearing his costume."

Cat Noir relaxed slightly. "He has his ring and his suit?" Bob Roth nodded mutely. "That's good. That's good news. I mean, getting thrown off a building is never fun–" Carapace snorted, and Cat Noir shot him a glare "–I only did it for fun once!" He put a hand on Bob Roth's shoulder. "It's not easy, but this just comes with the territory when you're a hero."

Bob Roth stared at Cat Noir in horror. "This is normal for you people!?"

"I mean… yeah," Cat Noir replied, nonplussed. "I got thrown off buildings about twice a week while Hawk Moth was still around; it's probably happened five or six times since then." He glanced over at the others.

"Um… probably about a dozen times," Carapace said, brows knit in concentration.

"Never." Viperion shook his head. Cat Noir gave him a deadpan look. "Never that I didn't immediately reset," Viperion amended.

Taureau Dechaine hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe once or twice. I'm not usually running around on rooftops."

"You lot are crazy," the Hound observed wryly. "I've never been thrown off a building!"

Cat Noir raised an eyebrow. "Never?"

"Nope." The Hound smirked. "It was a bridge. And Iron Maiden's the one who did it!"

"Well in that case, you probably deserved it." Cat Noir turned back to Bob Roth. "The point is, as hard as it is to accept, this is part of being a superhero: people will try to hurt you. Even Jagged Stone got himself spun around like a top the first time he went out on 'patrol.' Since he was suited up, XY should be able to fend for himself for now – at least until we can figure out where they took hi–." He stopped suddenly, narrowing his eyes and cocking his head suspiciously. "Wait… he had his suit and powers? Then why didn't he use them to catch himself when they threw him out the window?"

Bob Roth's face suddenly turned ashen. He grabbed the tufts of hair on either side of his bald spot and tugged. "Oh, no…" he moaned.

"What?" demanded Cat Noir.

The Hound suddenly started laughing uproariously. "Oh, you absolute, bloody wankers!" Cat Noir gave his cousin a dirty look, but he ignored him. "There is no 'Xtreme tonalitY,' is there?" the Hound asked, trying and failing to wipe the smug look from his face.

Bob Roth shook his head dejectedly.

Cat Noir's heart sank into his boots. "You didn't."

The Hound stopped fighting the smirk and arched an eyebrow. "They did."

"You mean…" began Carapace, staring at Bob Roth in shock.

"But – who in their right mind would do something so stupid?" wondered Taureau Dechaine, jaw dropping.

The Hound pointed at Bob Roth, a smug look in his eyes.

Viperion shook his head. "No–that's stupid even by their standards!"

"It's true," Bob Roth moaned, turning his face down to examine the carpet under his feet. "Xavier doesn't have any powers. 'Xtreme tonalitY' is just something we came up with to drum up interest in our new 'XtremelY heroeZ' Tour."

Viperion gave a look and stuck out his tongue in disgust. "You realize that's a terrible name."

Bob Roth shrugged. "The focus group liked it. Heroes are in right now," he explained. "Jagged Stone's last tour was all about you people – he has an entire album and a series of music videos with you – and there's that new band that's got a couple songs dedicated to the Heroes of Paris out now, too." Both Viperion and Taureau Dechaine gave him identical looks of utter disbelief. Cat Noir couldn't blame them. "So we designed the costume, focus grouped a back story that would make Xavier sufficiently heroic, and choreographed a fight sequence to introduce him. Paris – Europe's 'superhero central' – seemed like the perfect place for Xtreme tonalitY's 'debut' appearance and concert."

Cat Noir's jaw dropped further in horror as the story progressed. "And the aliens? The explosions?"

"Holograms and pyrotechnics. He only flies with a wire harness attached under the suit."

Cat Noir's eyes darted around the room, taking in the dismayed expressions on his friends' faces. In front of him Bob Roth's face still hadn't regained any color. Cat Noir's eyes narrowed in building rage. "Are you fucking insane!?" he demanded. He advanced until he stood directly over Bob Roth, glaring down at his bald pate. "Why the hell would you pretend he's a superhero in a city with actual super-villains!? Have you lost your goddamn mind!?"

Taureau Dechaine put a hand on Cat Noir's shoulder, pulling him back. Carapace stepped forward to interpose between Cat Noir and Bob Roth. "Do you have any idea what's going to happen now, sir?" Carapace asked gravely. "Night Bat is serious bad news: he is a functionally-immortal pseudo-vampire who feeds on corrupting people and bringing out the worst aspects of them. He has been behind some of the worst plagues of the last millennium and egged on some of the worst dictators imaginable. He makes Hitler look like a saint. He doesn't exactly care who he hurts or why. And he thinks XY has superpowers." Carapace paused, and Bob Roth stared up at them in wide-eyed, jaw-dropped horror.

"So when he finds out that he doesn't have any powers, he might just kill XY to simplify things," Cat Noir finished darkly. "Or because he annoyed him."

"Congratulations," added Viperion acidly. "Your 'publicity stunt' just backfired in the most epic way imaginable."

"What can we do?" Bob Roth whispered, looking up at them pleadingly.

"We will do nothing," Cat Noir informed him, gesturing to include all of them. He pointed at the other heroes, all of him wore identical serious faces. "We will go and save him. You will sit here and imagine the consequences of your actions if we get there too late."

The Hound succeeded in maintaining the same serious face for a moment longer before he suddenly burst out laughing. Cat Noir raised an eyebrow at him. The Hound wiped away a tear and grinned back. "Well, they wanted attention, didn't they?"