101.7 Let's Get Loud
At a Royal Woods radio station, it was time for one of Royal Woods' most popular radio programs.
"Welcome back to 101.7 Radio, Let's Get Loud," Luna announced to the listeners, "We're your hosts, Luna Loud…"
"And Sam Sharp," said her co-host and girlfriend, Sam.
"And today we have two special guests joining us in the booth today," Luna said, giving the couple's guests the cue to "Go ahead and introduce yourselves."
"My name's Simon Sharp and welcome to Jackass!" Sam's little brother, Simon introduced himself, resulting in laughter in the booth.
"I've gotta hand it to you," Sam said, wiping a tear from her eye, "that was a pretty funny introduction. But yes, this is my little brother, Simon."
"And our second guest is my little brother, or at least one of them," Luna said as she also wiped a tear from her eye, "Do you wanna introduce yourself?"
"Well gee," Lio said, catching his own breath after laughing so hard, "after that introduction, I feel put on the spot." He giggled and said "Like, I don't know how to follow that up."
"Hey, it doesn't matter who has the better introduction," Luna gave her brother some encouragement, "I'm sure our audience will love you."
"Well, if you say so," Lio said, struggling to come up with a witty introduction and instead deciding to just wing it, "My name is Lio Loud and I have a dream to be a Gangstar!"
"Really?" Luna asked him. "You're being broadcast to millions of people across the country and you introduce yourself with a JoJo reference?"
"Hey, if you want cool, you go to Lincoln Loud," Lio said before taking the opportunity to self deprecate, "If you want lame and cheesy, you come to me."
"Stop that," Sam admonished him.
"Yeah, that's not true at all," Luna said, taking a jab at her roommate, "If you want lame and cheesy, you go to Luan Loud."
"Introductions aside, thank you for having us," Simon said.
"Yeah," Lio said, "we're glad that you wanted us to be guests on your show."
"Why of course," Sam said "You two are both pretty creative and we thought you could bring some fun into the studio. After all, both of you helped design our station logo."
"That's right, we did, didn't we?" Simon remembered, "I guess you can call us the…"
"Artists Collective!" Lio and Simon said concurrently.
"Don't get cocky, you two," Sam playfully called them out.
"Yeah," Luna said, rolling her eyes, "don't let our success go to your head."
"Believe me, you don't have to worry about me getting an ego," Lio said, "I'm pretty sure that you originally wanted Lincoln on your show instead of me."
"No," Luna corrected him, "I wanted both of you to come on our show."
"Why couldn't Lincoln join us today?" Sam asked.
"Oh, he's with Ronnie Anne pounding the tuna," Lio said obliviously.
A flat "What?" was Sam and Luna's response to his statement.
"What?" Lio asked innocently, "With Sid out of town, Ronnie needs someone to help her."
Luna and Sam immediately burst into laughter.
"What's so funny?" Simon asked Lio, "Why are they laughing?"
"I don't know," Lio shrugged, "I guess our sisters are just weird."
Luna gasped for air as she clutched her stomach, proclaiming "Oh, we are so getting taken off the air after this show!"
"But while we've still got a show and the FCC aren't on our ass, let's listen to some tunes," Sam said, "Caller, you are on the air, what is your request?"
"Hey Luna! Hey Sam!" The caller greeted the girls, "I'm a huge fan of your show and am so excited that I get to call in!"
"Well we're happy that you were able to call in," Luna said before asking "What is your name, our beautiful listener?"
"My name is John!" The caller introduced himself.
"Well John, we're holding a contest later on in the show," Sam said, "If you can call in first and answer the trivia question we ask, you and a friend can win tickets to see The Rolling Stones live in concert!"
"Oh my god," John said, "I would love to see The Rolling Stones!"
"All you have to do is be the first to call in at the top of the next hour and answer the question correctly and you'll be the lucky recipient of those tickets," Sam informed him.
"But as for now, you are on the air and you can request any song you want to play," Luna told him, "What is your request?"
"Can you guys play Owner of a Lonely Heart?" John requested
"Why Yes we can!" Lio joked, laughing and asking "Get it?", receiving groans from Luna, Sam and Simon for his pun.
"Seriously, dude?" Simon scoffed.
"Oh come on, that pun was right there!" Lio defended his joke, "How could I not take it?"
"Oh brother," Luna sighed before telling John, "Anyway, you want Owner of a Lonely Heart? You've got it."
"Just so long as you know that it's much better than being the owner of a broken heart!" Sam said.
"And we will be right back after the break!" Luna said as the song started to play.
After the song and a couple of commercials, Let's Get Loud returned to the airwaves.
"And we are back on the air, loyal listeners" Sam announced.
"We hope you're all having a fantastic morning, but-," Luna started to say before Simon interrupted her.
"But right now, we have to tell you about our sponsor," Simon said, "Guys, have you heard of RAID: Shadow Legends? The latest and most expansive mobile RPG-,"
"We aren't doing that," Sam cut him off.
"You're right," Lio said before segueing into his own advertisement, "because our sponsors are actually SquareSpace? Have you guys ever wanted to make a fantastic website for your business, channel or other endeavors? Well with SquareSpace's simple-,"
"We aren't doing that either," Luna cut him off.
"Yeah, we don't have any sponsors," Sam reminded the boys.
"Yeah, we know," Simon said, "That's why Lio and I are trying to help you out?"
"Yeah, I mean, do you know how much moolah this channel you could make if you had some serious sponsors?" Lio pointed out.
"We know, but that's like, selling out man," Luna argued with Sam asking "I mean, where's the passion? We do this for the art, for the music! Not to be corporate sellouts."
"And what's wrong with selling out?" Lio argued. "One day, entire book stores all over the world are going to sell out of my work by the truckload."
"Yeah, and one day I'll be the best veterinarian on the planet to the point where the lines for my office will go around the whole block," Simon said.
"Well as Aerosmith would say, dream until your dream comes true," Luna told them.
"We'll remember that as long as you guys always Sing for the Moment," Lio said, unable to resist the opportunity to crack another joke.
"You know what?" Luna said, "I'm gonna let you have that."
"Yay!" Lio cheers.
"So our next caller is ringing in," Sam announced, "Caller, you are on the air, state your name."
"Hello, my name is Cindy and I'm a huge fan!" The caller introduced herself.
"Hello Cindy," Luna greeted her, "we are glad to take your call."
"You guys are like legends to the Royal Woods Underground Rock Scene," Cindy told the rockers, "Like, everyone I know talks about you."
"That's very flattering," Sam said.
"And we're happy to have a fan like you." Luna said to Cindy.
"I can't believe I'm actually talking to Luna and Sam," Cindy exclaimed excitedly, "Promise you guys that you'll remember me when you make it big."
"Cindy, trust us: we could never forget about a fan like you," Luna promised.
"Squeeeeeeeeee!" Cindy squealed with excitement.
"Looks like you guys have found your biggest fan!" Simon observed.
"Yes, I'm a huge fan!" Cindy confirmed, "I have that underground EP that they released four months ago. Also, can I say something?"
"Speak your mind, Cindy!" Sam told her.
"Your little brothers are both so cute!" Cindy said, "Gah, I wish I had little brothers like that!"
"Be careful what you wish for," Sam warned her.
"Yeah, our brothers can be more than a handful sometimes and sometimes even downright annoying," Luna told her.
"Hey!" Lio and Simon replied indignantly.
"Sorry, but it's true," Sam said, "Don't shoot the messenger."
"Anyway, Cindy, have you heard about the contest we're hosting today?" Luna asked.
"Oh my god, YES!" Cindy said, telling the hosts, "I would love to see the Rolling Stones in person!"
"Well all you've gotta do is be the first caller at the top of the next hour and answer our trivia question correctly and you'll be the winner of those tickets," Sam informed her.
"Hey, if you don't have sponsors, how were you able to afford front row tickets to a Rolling Stones concert?" Lio asked.
"Oh, that's easy," Luna said, "We're partners with the venue."
"So how is that not selling out if they're supporting your show in exchange for favors and promotions?" Simon asked.
"Because no money is actually exchanged and we're still doing this for the art," Luna explained.
"Cindy, we hate to cut you off, but we have to move onto our next caller," Sam said.
"Yes, but we hope you're having a fantastic day," Luna told her.
"You guys have made my day absolutely perfect!" Cindy informed them, squealing with excitement once again, "GAAAAH! I'm so excited! Thank you so much."
"No Cindy," Luna said, "Thank you for being such an awesome fan." She said, bidding Cindy farewell as she accepted the next call. "Hello, loyal listener, you are now on the air, state your name."
"Hi, I'm Hailie and I love listening to your radio channel every day on my way to work!" The caller identified herself, "You are two cool gals!"
"Thank you Hailie," Sam thanked her, complimenting the guest and saying "you sound like a pretty cool gal too!"
"So I have a question," Hailie stated.
"Ask away," Luna said.
"Who are your two's biggest influences in terms of your music?" Hailie asked.
"Oh, that's an easy one," Luna said, telling Hailie, "For me, it's Mick Swagger!"
"And for me, it's Joan Jett!" Sam said.
"Awesome," Hailie said, "I love both of those artists and I can definitely hear a bit of them in your music! I don't have much else to say, but to keep on rocking out loud!"
"I can tell you for certain that they don't plan on stopping now!" Simon said.
"Yeah and you can expect a lot of great music from these gals!" Lio said, "They're like the greatest future rockstars on the planet."
"Awww, guys, you're going to make us blush," Sam said, her and Luna already blushing.
"Hey, it's our job to hype you two up and tell everyone how great you are," Simon argued.
"Yeah," Lio nodded in agreement, "we're like your little hype men!"
"Aww, that's so adorable!" Hailie cooed.
"We're about to start today's top ten playlist and then take a few messages from our sponsors-," Luna and Sam said, blushing even harder as they became almost flustered before Simon interrupted them to ask a question.
"Again, I thought you didn't have sponsors," Simon pointed out.
"We don't, but the radio station does," Luna specified, "It's part of their contract and since we're using their studio, we're required to provide ad time for the station's sponsors."
"Sounds complicated, but okay," Lio said with a shrug.
"We'll be right back in a few minutes," Sam said, "Please enjoy these radical tunes to keep you entertained!"
A few minutes of rock music and commercials later, the show was once again back on the air.
"Welcome back to 101.7 Radio, Let's Get Loud and we have another caller on the air," Luna said, "Caller, state your name."
"Where is he?" Asked a familiar sounding voice.
"Wait a second…" Sam said with Luna asking "Lincoln?"
"Yeah, it's me calling in," Lincoln said.
"Well, it looks like you girls were able to get all of us on your show after all," Lio said with a giggle.
"YOU!" Lincoln suddenly shouted, much to Lio's surprise.
"Me?" Asked a confused Lio.
"Yes you!" Lincoln said with a hint of exasperation.
Ronnie Anne was audible in the background laughing as she said "Don't worry, guys! Your brother and I are having a great time "pounding the tuna"!"
"Thanks for telling the whole country that I was pounding the tuna with Ronnie Anne," Lincoln said sarcastically to Lio.
"Look Lincoln, I don't see what the big deal is" Simon said.
"Yeah," Lio said. I mean tenderizing some stinky fish isn't that big of a deal.
Lincoln was stunned silent by his brother's innocence and obliviousness for several moments before he finally sighed and asked "Neither of you know what pounding the tuna actually means, do you?"
"What else could it mean?" Lio and Simon asked.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lincoln asked "Lio, you still haven't read that book Luan gave you, have you?"
"No," Lio answered, asking "why?"
"Because when you get home, you have some required reading to do," Lincoln told him.
"Well, Lincoln," Sam said, giggling. "While we've got you here, do you have any songs you wanna request?"
"Why yes I do!" Lincoln said with a smirk as he requested "Could you two play Take me to Church by Hozier?"
"なんてこったいにい兄さん‽ 僕を殺そうとしていますか‽ (WHAT THE HELL, NII-SAN‽ ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME‽)" Lio exclaimed angrily.
"What's with the excited reaction, Lio?" Sam asked him.
"Take me to Church is his least favorite-," Sam started to explain.
"僕の最も嫌われている! (My most hated song!)" Lio corrected her.
"Why are you speaking Chinese?" Simon asked.
"It's Japanese and he slips into it when he gets really upset or excited," Luna explained.
"And Take Me to Church is his least favorite song?" Sam asked.
"Yep," Luna said, chuckling and adding "My sister/roommate Luan hates that song too."
"To be honest, I can't blame them. I hate that song too," Simon admitted.
"Anyway, I've gotta get back to "pounding the tuna" with Ronnie Anne," Lincoln said teasingly/sarcastically, "Have fun guys!" With that, Lincoln hung up.
"Well you heard him, our beautiful listeners," Sam said, "We'll be playing Take Me to Church before rounding out the top ten and coming back at the top of the hour where it'll be time to determine the winner of our trivia contest."
"See you in a few!" Luna said as Simon and Lio both covered their ears.
A few minutes later, the song has ended and Let's Get Loud is back on the air once again.
"Is it over?" Simon asked, "Is it finally over?"
"Yes, the song's over," Sam informed the boys, "The two of you can uncover your ears now."
"Thank Lord Araki Over Heaven!" Lio said with a sigh.
"Don't you mean "Thank God"?" Simon asked him.
"That's what I said," Lio retorted.
"Anyways…" Sam said, "we are back and it is the top of the hour so you know what that means!"
"It is time for our ticket trivia giveaway!" Luna announced before she pressed a button on the studio sound board and a brief guitar riff played as she and Sam threw up the Devil horns and stuck their tongues out before resuming the show.
"So if you've been listening throughout the show, you'd know that we're hosting a contest to see who gets to see The Rolling Stones live and in concert next Saturday," Sam reminded listeners.
"All you have to do is be the first to call in and answer the trivia question correctly," Luna went over the rules.
"So let's not waste any time and go to the first call," Simon said.
"Hello?" John said, calling back into the studio.
"Hello John, nice to hear from you again," Sam said, "Are you ready to hear the trivia question?"
"Why yes I am," John said, "I am completely ready! My son and I would love to attend a Rolling Stones concert together. My wife, not so much, but my son and I… yeah. Ever since he got suspended for two weeks, we've had a lot of time to spend with each other."
"Well we hope that we can make your ambitions come true," Luna said, "Okay, here is the question and it's an easy one: What is the capital of Brazil?"
"Capital of Brazil, you say?" John repeated the question for further clarification.
"That is correct," Luna confirmed.
"Um… Rio de Janeiro?" John took a guess.
"Did you say Rio de Janeiro?" Sam asked.
"Yes," John said.
"Is that your final answer?" Sam asked him.
"Yes it is," John said, assured that he'd gotten the right answer.
"Well John," Luna said, "that is-,"
"I'm sorry but that is incorrect," Lio cut her off, much to Luna and Sam's confusion.
"What?!" Luna and Sam exclaimed.
"Lio's right," Simon vouched for Lio, "The capital of Brazil isn't Rio de Janeiro."
"Are you guys sure about that?" Sam asked.
"Just trust us on this one," Lio said.
"O-Okay," Luna said "I'm sorry, John, but according to our sources, your answer is incorrect."
"What?!" John exclaimed, sounding a bit frustrated, "You're not actually going to listen to a couple of kids, are you?"
"Hey, John, don't you dare be sour," Sam said.
"Yeah," Luna said, "because you and your son can still enjoy an exciting evening at Royal Woods' own premier restaurant, Lynn's Table.
"Because we are giving you a $100 gift card to said restaurant for participating in this contest," Sam told him.
"Well I guess I can't complain about that," John accepted his loss.
"If you don't mind," Sam said, "what is your son's name? Maybe we can give him a shout out on the show."
"Chandler. Chandler McCann," John told them, "He's a sixth grader at Royal Woods Middle School."
これくそのカーストのが (That fucking piece of shit)! これ下衆野郎ク- (That asshole should-)" Lio burst into Japanese once again and although she couldn't understand exactly what Lio was saying, Luna knew that it was nothing pleasant, prompting her to clamp a hand over his mouth.
"Is your brother okay?" John asked.
"He's fine," Luna said, "I think he might be familiar with your son is all."
"Oh, are they friends?" John asked.
Lio opened his mouth, only to close it seconds later out of fear of saying something that would get Luna and Sam kicked off the air.
"Let's just say they know each other," Luna said.
"What's the deal with you and this Chandler kid, anyway?" Simon whispered to Lio.
"It's a long story," Lio said as he tied his hair into a braided ponytail as a way of calming himself.
"Thank you for the gift card," John thanked Luna and Sam, "my son and I will be sure to have a great time."
"We hope you have a great time!" Sam said, "Now, onto our next caller."
"Hello? Hello Hello?" Hailie greeted them.
"Hailie?" Luna asked, "Good to hear from you, luv. Are you calling in to answer the trivia question?"
"Why of course," Hailie replied, "I'm ready to win those Rolling Stone tickets."
"And we here at Let's Get Loud Radio hope you win those tickets," Sam said, "Now are you ready for the million dollar question?"
"I was born ready!" Hailie said confidently.
"Alright, here is the question: What is the capital of Brazil?" Sam asked.
"You have ten seconds and no consulting outside sources such as Google or globes," Luna told her.
"Capital of Brazil?" Hailie asked, "Is it Brasília?"
"Is that your final answer?" Sam asked.
"Ummm…" Hailie deliberated before ultimately deciding to stick with her answer, "yes it is!"
"That is correct!" Lio informed her.
"I won?" Hailie asked before the realization that she had indeed won set in, "I won?! I won! Oh my god! Yesssss!" SBR exclaimed, squealing with excitement. "I can't believe I actually won!"
"Believe it Hales," Luna told her, "because now you and a partner of your choosing get to see the world famous Rolling Stones live and in concert next Saturday in the front row."
"Thank you thank you thank you thank you so much!" Hailie profusely thanked the girls, "I can't thank you enough!"
"Believe me," Sam said, "It was our pleasure, Hailie."
"Thank you so much again!" Hailie said, "This is the greatest day of my life!" She said before hanging up.
"Well, beautiful listeners," Luna said, "It's almost time for our show to wrap up, but now it's time for the listener's choice song of the day in which the listeners vote on which song closes out our show."
"Please don't let it be the song I think it is," Simon pleaded.
"I'm already getting the ear plugs ready," Lio said.
"Relax you two," Sam said, "There are actually two songs that are tied for Listeners Choice and neither of them are Take Me to Church."
"And we're going to play them back to back to close out today's show," Luna said.
"Well what are they?" Simon asked.
"The first song is Dream On by Aerosmith…" Sam informed them.
"And the second song is Sing for the Moment by Eminem," Luna said.
"Oh," Simon and Lio said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"We can accept that," Lio said.
"It's time that we wrap this up so we're going to bid farewell to our beautiful listeners and sign off," Sam said.
"You've been listening to 101.7 Let's Get Loud with your hosts Luna Loud and Sam Sharp and if you've enjoyed our show, you can listen to us every day between noon and 1:30 PM," Luna said, "Now, as I like to say every day before we go home: Play it again, Sam."
"I'm all too happy to oblige," Sam said, setting the songs to play before she, Simon, Luna and Lio left the studio.
"Hey, I've got a question for you two," Luna said to Simon and Lio as they departed.
"What's up?" Lio and Simon asked.
"How did you guys know that the capital of Brazil wasn't Rio de Janeiro?" Luna asked.
"Yeah," Sam said, "and how did you know what the correct answer really was?"
"Oh, that's easy," Lio said, "In the 1998 horror movie, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, the trivia question that kicked off the plot was the exact same as the trivia question today and the main protagonist got that question wrong. So my horror movie knowledge came in handy."
"I've been studying for this big geography test so that's how I knew the answer," Simon explained.
"High five in the name of knowledge!" Lio said as he and Simon enthusiastically high fived each other.
"Well however you two knew the answer, you two were great today," Sam said, "We loved having you guys as guests on our show."
"Really?" Simon and Lio asked, eyes lighting up with joy.
"Yeah," Luna told them, "in fact, maybe we can have you two as guests again in the studio one day in the future."
"We won't let you down!" Simon promised with Lio nodding his head in agreement.
"We know you won't," Sam said before asking the other three, "So what do you say we go get some lunch?"
"Oooh," Lio said before suggesting "I could go for some tacos."
"Me too!" Simon agreed.
"Are you sure you aren't in the mood for tuna?" Luna asked, prompting her and Sam to giggle.
"I still don't know what that means," Simon said with a frown.
"Don't feel bad Simon," Lio said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I don't know what it means either."
Luna and Sam both sighed and said "We'll tell you when you're older."
FIN