A/N: I finished replaying the story of NieR: Automata again and actually did the E ending for the first time. (The reason it took so long is because I didn't buy the DLC until January of this year. After playing through the game in full for the second time and getting that platinum trophy to boot, I felt like it was time to finally write out the ending for this story. This chapter is the first of two epilogue chapters. The next chapter is mostly written out already, but it will need some additional edits before it's ready to be posted. This one is ready though, and I hope that what I wrote will be a satisfying read for you guys. Many thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed over the years. With that said, I hope you guys enjoy this first epilogue chapter for NieR: Automata - Vague Hope
Disclaimer: NieR: Automata is the property of Square Enix, Platinum Games, and Yoko Taro. Please support the official release of the game.
Warnings: This chapter does contain blatant spoilers for NieR: Automata. I guess you could say most of this story hints at some of the spoilers from Route C onward, but this one is pretty blatant about it. Apologies for not having small spoiler tags for this story earlier. If you haven't played through the whole game yet, this chapter contains a plot spoiler that is revealed in Route C, so be sure to have played through Ending C before reading this chapter in particular. Thank you! Now, let's get onto the chapter!
Personal Data Log
Entry Number: 24
June 5th, 11945
Two weeks have passed since the battle with the Goliath-Class enemy in the forest region. Many things changed for 2B and I after the battle, though those changes weren't immediately apparent when we made it back to the Resistance Camp that fateful day. My body forced itself into rest mode again the instant we arrived due to high levels of physical and emotional stress, which left me completely immobile for several days. 2B watched over me during that time, though I have no recollection of this or anything else while unconscious. However, at some point the Commander sent her on a mission to find a powerful duo of hostile machines blocking the path between the desert's center and the apartment complexes rising up from the sand.
I became operational again just as 2B returned, but what was meant to be a happy reunion for us turned into a moment of sheer panic for me.
Apparently, the machine's 2B fought were constructed out of pure gold. Even though gold is easily bendable, these particular machines were reinforced with some other metals of higher durability. It didn't help that one of the machines of this duo was yet another Goliath class enemy.
So when I woke up, the first thing I noticed was 2B's horrible state of disrepair. Her uniform was ripped in several places and some of the machines' attacks had managed to slice her skin in tiny, almost imperceptible scratches. One of the heels of her boots snapped off too, which left her standing in an awkward pose in front of me while she held her left arm against her side. A couple loose circuits sparking with high volts of electricity were the only things keeping the damaged limb attached to the rest of her body. Crimson, oil-like blood dripped from the wound in tiny droplets, staining the floor of our shared quarters.
I scrambled to my feet, ready to initiate repairs, but my motor functions were still a little off-kilter thanks to being in rest mode for so long.
2B, as damaged as she was, caught me with her right hand before I could topple over, but it came at the cost of her other arm.
The limb fell to the floor with sickening crash, but the noise didn't seem to faze her. With her remaining hand, she steadied me. Though wounded and weak, she was still strong enough to hold our combined weight without faltering. 2B is amazing like that. She always has been.
Once stable, I quickly hacked into my body to adjust some settings and fix the motor functions issue. 2B briefed me on everything I'd missed while I did this, including her most recent battle.
And then, practically out of nowhere, she thanked me for the upgrades I installed into her pod.
She told me that they saved her again...
That I...saved her again.
But I didn't feel as if I'd saved her at all, not when she was damaged to the point where she could barely stand.
And somehow, that initial sense of guilt grew tenfold when she pulled me flush against her, embracing me in a way she never had before.
I'd spluttered out her name, confusion overriding my senses as she continued to hold me against her, but the feeling melted away after a moment. Instead of cold, crippling fear...I felt warmth. I felt comforted and safe.
Before 2B and I were assigned to go on missions together...I was always alone.
In the rain, in the flames, in the darkness of my own heart...loneliness and terror are the only things I have ever known.
Safety isn't part of the job description, even with 2B by my side.
We are soldiers entangled in a never-ending war against machines for the sake of mankind. On a technical level, YoRHa androids can't really die in the true sense. Our bodies can always be replaced. Our personalities are pre-programmed. There's no real reason to fear death at all. I mean, I can't count the number of times I've had to recover chips from a previous body that was struck down by...a machine.
But even so...I was always afraid of losing myself.
There are memories I've lost. Precious moments 2B and I shared are forever lost to time. Sometimes it's not a big deal. What value are a few minutes worth of memories? Those little snippets of loss can't compare to losing hours...days...well, I wouldn't know how much time I've really lost, would I?
All I'm certain of is 2B. Having her by my side makes it easier to bear. Having a reason to fight beyond this duty to humanity keeps me tethered to this Earth.
But I don't know if I deserve this peace of mind when I've already broken the promises I made.
I vowed to keep her safe.
I swore to never leave her side again.
But instead...
Even though I couldn't control my body shutting down the way it did...the result is the same.
I wasn't there.
I'd left 2B alone again after promising I wouldn't.
No matter how badly I'd craved her affection, in that moment, I couldn't properly accept it. All I could think about was the fact I wasn't there to provide support. What good was I as a scanner if I couldn't do the one thing I was built for?
When I told 2B these things, she merely scoffed and said, "You're doing more than enough, 9S."
I asked her to elaborate, but she wouldn't.
There were a few more words exchanged, with most of them coming from me as I tried to convince 2B to let me do a maintenance check on her given how damaged she was. All she did was shake her head in response, her grip barely tightening around me. Eventually I felt something wet hit my neck as she leaned more fully against me.
She...was crying again.
I didn't know why. I didn't ask.
My vitals slowly started to climb as I wrapped my arms around her waist. It felt strange to share such an intimate moment with the poster-woman for cold professionalism, but realizing she felt comfortable and safe enough to share her emotions with me was...the closest thing to real happiness I've ever felt.
Thinking about it now, I wonder...is this what love feels like?
Did humans know this happiness? This terror?
How did they respond? What did they do when...
"Hey! Whatcha doin' there, friendo?"
YoRHa Unit 9S nearly leapt out of his skin upon hearing Emil's voice. He was standing just outside the Resistance Camp, deep in thought as he waited for 2B to send him coordinates for a rendezvous point. She'd left early in the morning while he was in rest mode to run some kind of errand according to Pod 153, but 9S was feeling incredibly antsy about his comrade wandering off somewhere alone without him considering the recent battles that had almost dismantled her.
Pod 153 assured him the errand would not require combat of any kind, but the support unit's refusal to go into detail about what his partner was actually doing made him feel even more anxious. The only information 9S could squeeze out of the floating thorn in his side was that he would receive coordinates from 042 once 2B was ready for him to join her.
With his nerves all over the place, the scanner unit opted to write out a personal log detailing the events of the previous two weeks and 2B's behavioral changes toward him. It had started with a long embrace after returning from a mission that left her without an arm for a day or so. Then, once they were both fully operational again, she'd suddenly reached for his hand as they were walking to Pascal's village. Though she didn't do this again, 9S caught her smiling in his direction more than once during their travels. Though still a mostly silent partner, 2B had become a tiny bit more talkative between missions. She would compliment him and even call him "Nines" every so often.
It was a stark contrast to how she treated him before.
However, as much as 9S loved the subtle and sometimes blatant affection, it made him nervous. Every time 2B drew near he'd feel his vitals rise. Sometimes his ventilation system would go out of whack, causing a small bit of redness to rush over his cheeks. Pod 042 informed him that he was experiencing a non-fatal human condition known as "blushing." He'd sputtered in complete embarrassment when 153 went on to explain some of the reasons why humans blushed.
2B didn't bat an eyelash at the information, which made his mortification climb up several levels.
And now...only days later...she'd run off somewhere without a word.
Thus the log was present in front of him so he could record all his thoughts on these varying things. 9S was in need of a resolution when it came to his own emotions or some kind of conformation of what 2B felt for him. There were still a good amount of mixed signals from her, which left the scanner model confused and somewhat distracted from his duties. This distraction could prove costly later, which meant he needed to sort out his feelings about these recent developments if nothing else.
But as he was writing, he started to realize something important...
Something he did not want Emil to have knowledge of.
"I-it's nothing," 9S stated, scrambling to hide away his operating screen before Emil could read anything. "Just a report...for...uh...my commander."
Emil's permanent smile was strangely off-putting as he sat there before him, silent.
"Um...are you supposed to report personal things?"
"Oh you got to be kidding me!" 9S hung his head, embarrassed for what must have been the hundredth time that week. "No. Look...I lied, okay. I'm just...trying to sort out my feelings for 2B."
"The really pretty lady that's always with you?"
"Yes. I'm...she's...got me all confused."
"How come? You love her, right?"
An involuntary yelp escaped the scanner model, his eyes darting to his pod for a moment. "D-don't say it so loud, Emil!"
"Are you worried she doesn't feel the same?" Emil continued, heedless of the obvious discomfort he was causing. "From what I've seen, 2B seems to really love you too."
9S was about to ask the strange creature how he could possibly know something like that when 2B hardly ever gave a hint to what she was thinking, let alone feeling, but Pod 153 cut into the conversation before he could even get the first word out of his mouth.
"Query: Why are Unit 2B's new behavioral patterns off-putting for Unit 9S?"
"I...it's just..."
It was a lot of things, if 9S were to be frank about it. He knew the truth about her model. She's his executioner and has been for a long time. A part of him had always known about this, just as he suspects she's always known his feelings toward her. His personality module is the same, regardless of whether he has memories of 2B or not. Inevitably, he would always find himself charmed by her grace and elegance.
She was built to be a beautiful deception...a fantasy made specially for him and him alone.
2B showing affection for him, at any capacity, is ultimately part of the deception. Perhaps by now she realizes he knows the truth about her. 9S was sure she had free license to kill him if she believed he knew something he shouldn't. After all the time they've shared together, whether he remembers it all or not, she would know the exact moment to betray him, right?
What if she was merely giving him this positive attention as a form of apology before the inevitable backstabbing?
Would he be angry about that? Would he be afraid of her?
Did he feel those things already?
Right now, 9S wasn't willing to explore those darker emotions. He wanted the fantasy. He wanted the lies.
He wanted to know what it meant to love someone past their faults and greatest sins.
Perhaps 2B is wishing for the same things he is. Perhaps this time they can defy this cycle of despair and stay together long term.
They could be happy, even amidst the endless warfare.
But hoping for these things seemed naive, silly even. A single mistake is all it would take to end everything they've built together during this particular companionship. A single mistake would send them both back to the beginning of the vicious cycle. 2B would be left with the memories and sorrow. 9S would have nothing but an ache in his heart and a longing that would remain forever unfulfilled.
However, if they could get things right one time. Just once...
Was love, or just the idea it, worth the gamble?
Seeing the conflict in 9S' expression, Emil rolled a bit closer.
"How about you check out my wares again," he suggested cheerily. "I could use the business."
9S gave a nod, distracted. "Okay. Sure."
"I acquired something special from the old world a little while ago," Emil continued, presenting the scanner model and his pod with various items. "I've been restoring this particular set of items to their former glory for the last few days. They were almost damaged beyond repair, but it's amazing what a little love and effort can do to mend things."
"Love and effort, huh?" 9S murmured, a slow smile beginning to tug at his lips. "You make it sound easy."
"It wasn't," Emil answered, his voice softening a bit. "It was really difficult. I almost gave up. But...some things are just too precious to quit on, right?"
9S responded with another nod, grateful for the wisdom of this strange creature who'd scared him half to death when they'd met. Behind the visor, his eyes drifted along the mysterious items until one particular piece caught his attention. Upon examining it, he immediately opened an old world records database within the main YoRHa server. He typed in a word, remembering something from an archive he once read, though he had no idea when that had been.
It didn't matter. Not anymore.
"Alert," 153 chimed in. "Pod 042 just shared the coordinates for Unit 2B's position. Proposal: Rendezvous with Unit 2B immediately."
"Got it. Thanks."
Once through making his purchase at Emil's shop, 9S quickly glanced at his map to see where 2B's position was.
"Flooded City?" he questioned aloud. "Strange place to meet up."
"Well, don't keep her waiting," Emil stated, his wheels spinning wildly. "Let me know how it goes, friendo!" Without another word, the mysterious entity veered off in the direction of the Desert Camp. 9S waved at him while stuffing an object into one of his pockets, then quickly dashed in the general direction of the Flooded City.
While maneuvering past some non-hostile machines, a sudden shrill ringing sounded through the air. 153 opened his HUD screen barely an instant after the ringing started, but the scanner model was too preoccupied with entering the tunnel between the main area of the city and the flooded portion of the ruins to look directly at the screen. He had a pretty good idea as to who was calling anyway.
"This is Operator 21O to Unit 9S. This is your regularly scheduled contact."
"Read you loud and clear, Operator," the scanner model replied, almost mechanically as he ran along the pathway. "Any news?"
"Negative," she replied. "However, I noticed you rifling through the old-world database a few minutes ago."
9S slowed down, a small hint of dread overtaking him for a moment. "Is that a problem?"
"No. I was already researching something similar and found your trail in the server."
Having heard that, 9S breathed an internal sigh of relief and marched onward through the tunnel. The water pressure increased as he moved further in, creating a whole ruckus of sound that drowned out his operator as she spoke.
"I am curious about your interest in the information though..."
"What was that!? I can barely hear you with all the water..."
"If you don't wish to disclose your reasons, all you need to do is say so, 9S," 21O interrupted, irritation in her tone. Unfortunately, 9S still couldn't hear all that well and ended up replying with a loud, "WHAT?"
His voice practically shook the Bunker.
Down on the lower level of the main operations room, Commander White shook her head in exasperation as a chorus of laughter erupted from 6O and two other operators.
All 21O could do in response was sigh. "Nevermind, 9S. Continue scouting with 2B as you have been. Operator 21O out."
The transmission ended just as 9S arrived at an area where he could actually hear.
"Operator?" he called, confusion in his tone. When he got no reply, he shrugged his shoulders and kept moving toward the nearby exit. "Guess she disconnected me..."
The scanner model's words tapered off as he noted a new sound. At first it was faint, but with each step he took toward 2B's marked position on the map, the sound grew in volume. There was a melodic quality to the sound with voices accompanying it.
"Is that music?" he whispered, mostly to himself. Though 153 heard the inquiry, the pod came to the conclusion that it would be best to stay silent for the time being.
When 9S turned that final corner, light from outside the tunnel filtered in. The sound was loud enough now that he was certain it was music, but the voices were difficult to hear past the steady rush of the waterfall up ahead. He could also see a feminine silhouette standing near the mighty waves, but he couldn't place who it was immediately, mainly because he believed there was simply no way it could be the person he was supposed to meet in this spot.
But as he stepped out of the tunnel and into the light of midday, 9S' gaze drifted to the nearby terminal where 2B's military uniform and visor lay, neatly folded next to a pair of boots and the beautiful white blade, Virtuous Contract.
"9S?"
Hearing his name, the scanner glanced toward the waterfall and nearly choked on a gasp.
2B pivoted on her heel in the same instant, allowing him a glimpse at her face and pale blue eyes matching the baby-blue dress she wore - the very one he'd bought from Emil's shop two weeks ago.
Stunned into a stupor, 9S's eyes inevitably trailed over 2B's entire body, starting with her head where he noted the pale blue ribbon Big Sister Machine had gifted her. Then he noticed how the dress hugged her bust and torso before gently flaring out at the waist. Her long legs were free of the stockings, and the boots she normally wore were absent, leaving her feet completely bare.
What really surprised him about her lack of footwear though was the realization that they were actually the same height.
The music continued on and voices filtered through 9S' ears, but the words sung were completely lost to him. All of his focus remained fixed on 2B while the subtle breeze played with the ends of her hair.
He managed to tear his gaze away from her long enough to notice his record player sitting on a small patch of grass. This music was new to him, just like the sight of his partner in arms wearing something other than her standard uniform.
Everything around them was silent and still save for the music and the roar of the waterfall. As this silence drug on, 2B averted her gaze in an uncharacteristic show of shyness. Her bangs fell over her eyes, hiding them from view.
And for reasons 9S couldn't immediately explain, this small gesture upset him. He took a step forward, wanting to speak but unable to say anything aloud.
"Look at me," he thought instead, the artificial organ in his chest beginning to race. "Please look at me, 2B."
For a brief moment he heard the thoughts of the maniacal songstress machine from the Amusement Park.
He never looks my way. He never looks my way. He never looks my way.
9S continued his approach, his hands lifting involuntarily to the back of his head to untie his visor. The flimsy fabric drifted from his fingertips to the ground a moment later, and his strides became more purposeful as his memories of the machine's words continuously collided with his own emotions.
She never looks my way. She never looks my way. She never looks my way.
A terrible ache settled in his chest and steadily rose to his throat cavity. He wanted to speak his desires out loud but found he couldn't say anything past the lump of pure emotion flooding through his systems.
He wanted to see her eyes
He needed to see her eyes.
9S kept one of his hands raised, though he was unsure as to why. The emotions coursing through his mind and body were completely foreign to him. They were beyond his understanding or control. They went beyond all rationality.
It felt like a logic virus...
But these emotions, though complex and difficult to get a handle on, were no virus.
He was in love with a woman he should hate more than anyone or anything else.
Perhaps a small part of him did. There's a thin line between love and hate after all.
However, in this moment, all 9S wanted was to know, without any doubts, whether 2B felt the same things he did or not. He needed to know if she wanted to stay by his side as desperately as he wanted to stay with her.
A part of him already knew the answer, but he still needed a confirmation.
"Your eyes will tell me the truth, won't they, 2B?"
A/N: Muhahahahahahahaha! Cliffhangers are the best! Don't worry, there will be one more chapter where this madness gets concluded properly. Also, for this chapter I tried writing 9S in the first person via data log. Please let me know if I made any errors in his characterization during that particular section (or in any portion of the chapter really) and I'll do what I can to correct it. Feel free to point out grammar or spelling errors too. I do the best I can, but Lord knows I'm a bit out of practice when it comes to basic grammar rules. I was actually a little concerned that this chapter might not be as good quality-wise compared to the chapters proceeding it, so I'm open to any advice on how to improve the chapter if anyone feels it needs it. Thank you for reading and for any feedback you wish to provide! God bless you all!
Secondary Note: Sometimes I do NieR related content on my YouTube channel, Lillymu961. If you guys ever want to check that out, feel free to do so. I mostly do K-Pop related content, but every now and then I'll do something related to NieR or anime, so definitely swing by if you have the time. Best wishes and God bless you all!