I really want to see him the next day but he's seen enough of me and I don't want him to get fed up with my presence—it will certainly annoy him.

Plus, his suspension will be lifted tomorrow Tuesday so there's that!

Today's classes felt almost all the same with all Monday classes. They are long, tedious, and annoying. Luckily, all students got called in the gymnasium for a guest speaker's speech because mostly after those, we get to go home early. "Good day to you all, my children." A tall man wearing a long black sleeve spoke on a podium with his voice covering the whole gymnasium through the speakers. He is clad decently, taking after from his respectable posture with his clerical collar quite noticeable. It's Father Maxi.

After the formalities, he started preaching about the subject of adolescent teen life. Well, it's what most guest speakers we have usually talk about that we don't listen to but actually is beneficial to us. "Such mentality befalls the young's mind and they may think that, 'I'm old enough to do whatever I want!' As such, they resort to rebellion and this is where they experience the tragedy of an unguided journey to life." Even though Father Maxi can see most of the students not paying attention to him, he still continues to speak. I decided to listen though, because this is what the youth of today lacks most—guidance. I'm glad that Tweek and Token beside me have the same thinking.

30 minutes had passed and he still went on unwaveringly. It's starting to get boring though. This is why I don't go to church that frequently.

"At last, a piece of advice to you all. Do not ever rush in life." This particular advice took my attention. " Whatever may the youth are curious about; whether it be your careers, your future life partners. It will all come to you as you grow up. Never rush on those, instead, enjoy your young life as much as possible.

"May you also choose wisely on who you enjoy it with. With those who we deem are friends, we question whether they are of good or bad influence." I look beside me, to Tweek and see him also looking at me. He smiles at me then turns back to the speaker. It's safe to say I'm in good hands.

"And most importantly, we choose wisely of who we love. Question whether the feelings you have for the other are true. Or even ask yourself whether it's attraction or infatuation. Why not have-" But the rest of his speech went blank on my mind.

Whether the feelings you have for the other are true.

Attraction or infatuation.

My mind promptly went to Craig. The priest actually went an hour before he ended his session but those words that he just said got mostly stuck in my head.

Even as I walked home, I started questioning myself about my feelings for Craig. All I know is that I just want to see him every day like no day is ever complete without being with him.

Infatuation? Well, he is handsome. Compared to me, he's really, really good looking. He's an eye candy. Don't get me started with his hair, oh and also his eyes, or his everything he's perfect. But do I just want him because I'm enticed with his looks? Hell no. I know it's more than that.

Or how about attraction. Well, I like him as a whole. Like how he's such a cool guy, like how he makes everyone around him happy.

To be honest, I'm not asking the right questions. The thing I want to know is how did I know that I have feelings for him? It's that night under the rain. Under the orange light.

I see three words on the back of my head and my heart says to read it aloud. I love you.

It all started with that line of thought. How did I even come up with it? Is it because I just knew then that he and Tweek was actually not a thing and decided to go for it? But I know I'm straight then. Well, maybe I was really unaware of my feelings for Craig.

The thing is… I really don't know.

I felt my phone vibrating in my right pants pocket. It's a chat.

[2:48PM]Craig: Be seeing you tomorrow

And above the text chat is a picture of him and Tricia seated in what seemed like a table in the Bennigan's. Both have plates of steak in their front and neither are smiling in the picture. But I know that look on Craig's face.

He's happy.

My heart rate paces and my stomach begins to flutter. A smile crept up in my face and I felt like my day was already complete. These feelings that I have for him, it doesn't really matter at all. As long as I have Craig, I would feel like I can be happy forever. And that feeling alone makes me want Craig to feel happy, too.

That's what matters the most.

And as luck would have it, the dim clumped group of clouds started to sprinkle water. It may not be raining, but at least it made me remember the night I had with Craig. I wish he was here with me. Maybe we could be closer than that night. Well, that is if he let me once again.

I kind of forgot that this is actually just a one-sided crush. But I pushed the thought away. Instead of running on the roads under the sprinkling water like we did that time, I decided to walk slowly, savoring every little drop of water that makes contact to my skin.

I guess the rain will never be the same again. If I once associated raining with sadness, then I'm glad to say it will never be sad again.

Because it will always remind me of Craig. It will always remind me of that time.

It will always make me happy.

With my phone in hand, I thought I should give Token and Tweek a message. I figured we better do something for tomorrow.

It's 8:39 in the morning and I just woke up. I overslept even though I slept early yesterday night. My body doesn't really want to get up but I forced myself to do so. 8AM is my foreign language class, so I'm late! Oh, Dad, why didn't you wake me up?

My body feels heavy and I have this splitting headache but I still ran around the house trying to fix myself up for school.

Shower? No time.

Brush teeth? Okay.

Wash face? No time.

There's no way in hell I'll be able to go to Jap class at this late. Fuck, this is the first time I got late in a class. Like ever. If I run fast across the town, maybe I can manage to be in time for math class. Be late and she'd go bananas screaming 'Fucking out!' to me.

Halfway through the running though, I became entirely nauseous that I stopped the fast pace. I barely have covered some distance but my clothes already felt sticky and damp from my sweat and I already feel so exhausted. I'll just walk then.

Thankfully, I'm 5 minutes early! I can still clean myself up before class. And math class today is different. Ms. Fucking-out is gone and is replaced by Mr. Mission.

"Are you okay, Clyde?" I hear Token whispering beside me as the teacher discusses something about something I'm not listening to. For some reason, I don't feel good speaking today, So I nodded at him.

I'm happy to finally see Craig. And I'm really happy to see all of us complete together again in our cafeteria booth. But I don't exactly feel awesome today to enjoy much of the mood. It must have been the lack of sleep or whatever. I'll just have to eat this out.

I see Craig raises both of his brows at me, that's his way sometimes to ask if I'm okay. I nodded in affirmation.

"-So we should be in our A game later today!" Tweek urges. Oh right, the history presentation. Since ours were the ones of the last to present, expectations would be higher.

Craig looked up for a moment and spoke, "I don't think I remember a single thing from that anymore."

Tweek gasps in shock, "Craig!"

Token speaks, "Well, Tweek, in his defense, it's been like a week so.."

Tweek made a worried face, "Oh, don't tell me that you also-"

Token scratches the back of his neck, "Yeah…"

"Token!" Tweek exclaimed. He started twitching in anxiety then we saw a little smile on his lips. His brows slightly curved downward and started laughing. We laughed too, having a small amount of time to enjoy things because later on, we'll be cramming in mid-discussions in the next subjects for our forgotten presentation.

Last subject. Hooray! But we have to report a presentation. Awwww.

We are huddled together in the back to prepare ourselves. I might be a little nervous, but not as Tweek. No one ever is as nervous and as anxious as Tweek.

"Oh my God, what if he asks more than what we present?" Tweek asks. The students presenting in the front are about to finish their presentation making Tweek's pace of breathing become erratic and he started twitching like he is back in 4th grade again.

Token replies, "Everyone knows he's not like that. You can relax, Tweek." Through Token's gentle assurance, Tweek's anxiety just went unfazed.

Tweek looked like he wanted to start biting on his nails. "Okay, but what if he asks a part of something you didn't present? Or what if he finds a hole in our presentation? Aaaagh! You guys !"

"Tweek." Craig's deep voice suddenly pops in. "It will be alright." He puts a hand on Tweek's shoulder and caresses it. "Everything will." He then looks at him straight in the eye and puts up a smile. Suddenly, Tweek's twitching stopped, his breathing became normal, and he looked absolutely fine again.

Only Craig can do that to Tweek. And only to Craig's touch will Tweek calm down.

I know they said just a week ago that they were not a thing for years now but the idea didn't make me any less of a jealous person. Maybe they're still just keeping it a secret and are still dating. But hey, who am I to get jealous? It's not like we're together or something. And I admit it, the chemistry between them is better than what I imagine for Craig and I to have.

I do, I'm really happy Craig's back but Goddamn it!

My part of the presentation went fine, although with a bit sputtering and the obvious cold sweat dampening my clothing. And with Craig at Tweek's side, Tweek never seemed nervous at all. Like I said, chemistry.

Craig continued presenting, "Watercolour painting paved the way for the English artists to illustrate landscape settings and became popular at the time. This period is regarded as a specialty for the cultivation of art as it forms a certain culture."

For how he presented the rest, he really seemed to know our whole presentation-not just his part- from top to bottom. He didn't sound like he just read stuff just hours ago and started spouting shit in the front, no. He must have studied days ago. He must have just joked around during lunchtime.

After Craig gave the closing remarks, the students in our front looked like they wanted to give us (or maybe just Craig) applause.

For how he seemed so different back then when he was shaking as I held him in his room compared to now, he really deserved that applaud. Well, I would've given it to him, but would he care?

Craig insisted for us to go home already but I firmly declined. Instead, I pushed him to go with us to Tweek's house. It's the thing I texted Tweek and Token yesterday. And Craig seemed already knowing where this leads to.

We let him first inside the house and of course he didn't see any balloons or party decor in the house because it's not his birthday, but there's still a lot of food on the table. Boxes of pizza, bags of tacos, tall thermos of choco (because Craig hates coffee), and of course, my lemon bars. I wonder why I baked those again, maybe it's just the thing I know how to cook. I almost snickered at the thought.

"Wow," said Craig in a dull yet, mocking tone, "I didn't know you miss me that much."

"It's for what we did in History class, dumbass," Token retorts. "We really had a fun time without you, you know? It was fun while it lasted."

"I fully agree with Token," Tweek chuckles. "Fuck you, Craig." We all looked at Tweek, shocked for him cussing because it was very unlikely of him. Then we all got into a laughing fit. Tweek really knows how to liven up the gang.

Like what we always do at Token's we boot the console in the living room and eat stuff as we play, throwing some talks here and there at some point. We played a Mortal Kombat game because Tweek only has two controllers, not enough to play the Rayman Legends game again. It's not fair to fight Token because he's so good at it and it's boring to play with Craig because he sucks at every game. But we still had fun nonetheless.

Because we are together.

Without Craig in the group, we became quieter although he doesn't usually talk a lot when he's around. Although this is true for every single one of us, it's just that we know what Craig's going through that's why we felt a bit sad when we think of him.

After Craig's loss for like the hundredth time, Token suggests that we watch a movie. And knowing Token, it's mostly anime.

We watched Weathering With You.

"Clyde?" Craig calls, nudging lightly on my arm. "Uh, Clyde?" I opened my eyes, struggling with the heavy eyelids— I'm sleeping? Craig is looking at me with a weird face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a bit sleepy," I replied, although the splitting headache from the morning is starting to go rampant in my head once again and I also feel like throwing up.

"Clyde," Token jokingly scolds, "Stop disrespecting this piece of art and watch, okay?"

Craig beside me shook his head and lit a half smile. "Don't worry about him." But I didn't sleep on that moment afterwards, this event was supposed to be for Craig, right?

Damn it, I'm really great at ruining things.

I was shivering down to the spine when Craig and I walked home but Craig doesn't seem to be bothered by the cold. I didn't know where it came from or how it started, but Craig and I are shouting at each other.

"Just admit it!" I said, "You and Kenny made the second wave of Eavesdropper! That's why your name and Kenny's never got mentioned even once."

Craig rolls his eyes. "That's presumptive. Maybe I just don't have any bad things with me compared to all of you."

"Then why were Cassidy's almost nonexistent freckles have been posted twice and your obvious fucked up teeth not even once?"

Craig's brows immediately scrunches. "Fuck you, Clyde, those were baby teeth and look at me now," he shows a toothy grin to prove a point and heck were his teeth perfect. "See?" And I must say, he looks so much livelier and jolly as he wears that toothy grin. Stan immediately comes to my mind.

"But that's not the point." I say.

"Yeah, same with talking about the second Eavesdropper." Craig trails for a while then he murmurs, "Theresa really ruined us after publishing the wrong info about Kevin."

"I knew it!" I exclaimed. I still cannot forget the anger I had the one time they insulted my look wearing my favorite letterman jacket. Yet despite my display of anger, Craig just laughs beside me. "Stop laughing!" I demand, my face getting warm in anger but as I see him laugh heartily with his mouth open wide releasing a noise of enjoyment, my vexation quickly faded. I find myself laughing with him now. Really, no matter what happens, Craig's happiness will also be my happiness.

Eugh, that's hella sappy.

The temperature is decreasing even more as my hands are now visibly shaking from the cold, and Craig still seemed not affected. Craig seemed to notice this so he put an arm over me and I was taken aback with the sudden warmth his touch offers.

The heat is coming back to my face, fuck! Am I blushing? I hope not. I uncharacteristically became quiet—the mood between us suddenly became awkward and Craig now seems… embarrassed? Now that I think about it, he is a little more talkative than his usual normal manner of talking.

A thought from way back in the day suddenly comes to mind. "The presentation. You did awesome back there."

"Really? I thought it was kind of bad. Missed a lot of things to say about some things."

"You were cool. You must have really studied hard for this."

Craig nods, "Of course, it's the least I could do for being a shit friend these days. We did so much that day and I don't want it all to fall apart because of me. Or else Tweek would freak out and I don't want that to happen."

I was about to say that he was never a shit friend, but my insecurity clouded my better judgment. "You must really be fond of him, of Tweek" I say wistfully.

Craig lights up a smirk, "Aw, are you jealous?" He says in a cooing tone.

Of course, I am! "Of course, not," I firmly say.

Craig pulls his arm slung on me to his side and my half was enclosed with the warmth of his body. I'm pretty sure my face is now red as a tomato. "Oh, come on, Clyde," he says in a cool tone and proceeds to chuckle lightly.

I was kind of hoping he would be more serious with what I just said. I guess he's now back to the Tucker he's supposed to be, the polar opposite of a touchy-feely like what happened a week ago never happened at all. I really thought we would be more emotionally connected after that but I guess that's just wishful thinking. I think I should stop wishing for Craig and I.

But I am glad. This makes me feel like we're back on the normal again where we are so much happy with one another as friends. But right now, the more I look at his smile, the more I believe it can never go back the same way again. And I really thought I can keep this away and be happy with being just friends with him but now I'm dying to be past that.

But Clyde, that's impossible! Just look at him; he's kind, kind of smart, looks good, has a good family, and has a great life. You're even fucking lucky to be friends with him. Heh, why am I even pining for him when clearly he can never look at me the same way. Not only I'm wasting my time, but I'll only be wasting some incoming tears.

And fucking look, he's now chatting someone else with his free hand. I'm just here beside you, Craig. Clearly, I'm not enough for you. His warmth on my side faded, replaced with the usual cold I've been experiencing as tears started to prick on my eyes and of course, Craig is still typing something on his phone.

Luckily, the tears never made it out as I was surprised that I am now in front of my house, and we just went past his house. "You won't be coming home?" I ask.

"Just staying for a little while. If that's fine for you?"

But at least we got to do stuff like this. Because we are friends.

It's weird, but as we entered my room, he promptly went for my drawers and grabbed the lightest clothes he could find and offered it to me. "Change into this," he says.

I would really like to argue but right now, I just feel mentally and physically exhausted for the day and so I relented. After coming out of the bathroom, Craig is nowhere to be seen, so I turned on the PC and searched for the channel I know he loves so he can enjoy his stay here. If I remembered correctly, 8 minutes from now and we would be watching Red Racer together.

I was watching the commercials, sitting on the edge of my bed when Craig comes into the room with a glass of water and a tablet in his other hand. I tilted my head wondering what the hell is Craig doing and why is he being so out of character right now.

"Your Dad wants you to be healthy," he says nonchalantly. " Here's vitamin pill." He drinks one that he's holding and gives the other to me. I examined the tablet and I know the vitamin ones we have downstairs are orange and not this white thing. Craig wouldn't drug me, would he? Since he drank one, I once again relented.

After gulping the glass of water, the feeling I encountered in the morning started coming back; the splitting headache, the numbness of my body, and I just want to sleep so much. A drug won't be this fast, so it must be just me. I lay myself down on my bed and closed my eyes, forgetting that Craig was just there in front of me. "Just a nap for a little bit. I'm sorry," I say quietly, did he hear it?

"It's okay, Clyde. It's been one hell of a day," he says softly. I heard the PC turning off and some walking Craig has been doing until I feel him settle on the carpeted floor beside me. He covers my body with a comforter blanket and it immediately takes away the cold I've been feeling for hours.

I find it hard to sleep with this roaring headache and no matter how much I shift in the bed, I still can't relax. Moments later, I felt a soft hand gently caressing my hair, and it took seconds for me to feel at ease and almost at sleep.

The stroke of the hand was so mellow and full of comfort and love. Craig said he'd be here for just a while so it must be Dad. He must have come home early.

No matter how much I wished for it, it can never be Craig.