Story Title: The History of Us
Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight Princess, you would've known. But I don't own it.
Author's Notes:
This chapter was a lot more trouble than it needed to be. Neither Shad or Link wanted to be helpful during either of their scenes. But eventually they cooperated. Also I added a bullying tag recently for those who may need it, because some of that does occur at the end of this chapter, along with a fairly graphic physical altercation.
There's going to be a bit of a delay for the next chapter, on account that I decided to participate in a big bang fan event and that's going to be my main focus for a good while, for like the next couple of months but hopefully it won't take all of that time. But as soon as I've got my entry written, I'll be continuing with this fic. Speaking of which, this fic is almost complete! There's only two (maybe three if CH 10 runs too long) chapters left.
Thanks to Fenix Fuego for your kind words-I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and thank you for all your years of readership-and thanks as well to everyone who faved since the last update.
-o-
Chapter Eight: Below the Surface
-o-
Yesterday's batting practice had been interesting, to say the least. Interesting was the very, very least of what Shad had wanted to say about what had happened between him and Link. Thinking about it still brought an immediate warmth to his face. Link had been pressed closely against his back. He had his arms around him. His hands had covered his. If Link had been taller, he most certainly would have whispered his instructions into his ear—
By Din, Shad was being foolish. It was embarrassing how ridiculous he was behaving. Link had just wanted to teach him something for a change, and here he was thinking there were selfish motives to Link's lesson. Link had not been trying to flirt with him. Link had placed his hands on his hips to correct his form. Holding the bat together had just been him showing Shad the proper technique. After all, some things were better actively demonstrated than explained. And yet, Shad saw the need to read far too much into Link's actions.
In any case, if he was going to imagine silly fantasies between him and Link, instead of focusing on his lesson plans, Shad might as well forget that yesterday had even happened. It was doing him no good to distract himself with pleasant lies.
Shad was grading Link's review quiz on the Twilight Conflict as Link continued making study flashcards for the next section. Link awaited his score eagerly, on account that he had convinced Shad to make a bet to go shopping with him tonight if he got every question right. Shad didn't mind to agree, knowing that a certain amount of fun competition motivated Link. That and only one question needed to be wrong. Link's scores were improving in strides, yes, but the probability was in Shad's favor.
Shad found himself in quite the predicament then when Link answered every question correctly. Initially, he was immensely happy for him. Link's accomplishment certainly deserved to be rewarded. But there was plenty they could get a start on tonight if they did not end their session early. They certainly didn't need yet another distraction and more time diverted elsewhere from their task.
But if Shad outright refused to go, Link's sulking and whining for the rest of the session was going to be unbearable.
Shad cleared his throat to grab Link's attention. "Well, old boy, you win. Congrats for achieving a perfect score."
From the absolutely starry-eyed look on Link's face, Shad would have guessed that he had agreed to grant his heart's desire. Shad found it curious how much winning this silly little bet meant to him. Link bolted up from his seat. "Then let's go!"
"Now, Link, we really must consider how many days we have left. Don't you agree that our time will be better utilized if we remain here and study?" Perhaps Link would listen to reason if Shad reminded him of the parameters of their arrangement, specifically of their deadline.
"But I've been planning this for a while," Link said as he handed Shad his shoes, which he took but didn't put on. "I didn't get unknowingly drunk for nothing. I made some money, and I'd like to repay you."
"There is no need for you to repay me, old boy. Remember that I was assigned to be your tutor. I took this responsibility upon myself."
"We still have a week and a half, right?" Link made a little hop in place as he pulled on his other sneaker. "If I'm not ready by then, an extra couple of hours studying isn't going to make much of a difference."
Shad very much believed in the contrary to that statement. "It might not seem much to you, but one answer could mean the difference between a pass or a fail."
"But there's no knowing if that will be true," Link said. "So I'd rather go shopping with you."
"Shopping is not what I was assigned for!" Shad could not stress the importance of that fact enough. Link was a wonderful guy with all the heart in the world, but heavens, he was frustrating sometimes.
Link stared at Shad. Usually Link was a bit of an open book, but for once Link's expression was nearly blank. Shad had expected far more of a reaction. His best guess was that Link was a bit taken aback. Maybe after a few sessions Link had forgotten about their arrangement and perhaps came to see him as a friend.
As lovely as that sentiment was if it were true, that was far more than Shad could hope for.
"Well, I'm going," Link said, opening Shad's door and stepping outside. "The less you fuss, the sooner we'll be done."
Shad cursed the boy's stubbornness, but he couldn't fault his logic either. And well, he could hardly tutor Link if he wasn't here. It really was better just to go along and get it over with.
Our time together has a finite end, Shad thought as he locked his door and hurried to catch up with Link, who was already heading down the stairwell. When Link reached the bottom, he waited for Shad. The smile on his face could have brought the sun out on a dreary day. This won't last.
-o-
As in most cases, Link didn't have a plan beyond go down to the shopping plaza. Beedle's was a good place to start. Link hoped that Shad wasn't going to be upset after he found out exactly what they were here to do and why. He already wasn't very happy with having to end to their study session early. Maybe it was a silly bet, and maybe those few extra hours of studying would have made a difference, but Link wanted to do this for him. Shad deserved something nice.
"While I am not certain of why you would choose me to accompany you for this task, I will do my best to assist you in your endeavor," Shad said, following Link's lead through the department store. "I say, for whom and for what occasion are we shopping for?"
"You," Link said through a light laugh. "You're gonna get some new clothes. Preferably something in this century's style."
Blinking several times in a row, Shad looked absolutely mystified. "Why in blazes do you want to do that?"
"Because you dress like you're going for either a historical drama aristocrat, retirement home chic, or somebody's dad."
Shad didn't know how to respond. He opened his mouth and then just as quickly close it without saying anything. It seemed like a reply was on the tip of his tongue until he looked down at his button-down shirt and high-waist trousers and realized that Link may have a point.
"I'm mostly concerned that you wear your late father's clothes," Link added. In his opinion, that was the one odd thing about Shad. And yea, there were a lot of savings in wearing hand-me-downs and it probably made Shad feel close to his father, but the idea of wearing a dead person's clothes made Link shiver. "I've always been told that it's unlucky to do that."
"Is it really?" Shad asked skeptically. "Have you ever bought clothes at a consignment or thrift store before?"
"Occasionally," Link said. "Mostly I like to browse at the weird stuff they get. Like one time, they had a heart-shaped mask with big eyes and crazy colors. I was gonna buy it, but I put it down for a sec, and it was gone when I came back."
"Well, you do realize that you're potentially buying an article of clothing that was worn by a recently-deceased person. People tend to donate their late loved one's clothes to such establishments."
Link didn't want to know that. It was something that he had never thought about before, but now that his eyes had been opened to that fact, he knew he was never going to forget it. He had thought that the clothes people donated were just unneeded or outgrown or were all stuff that clothing shops weren't able to sell. He wondered if the person who owned his designer jeans before him was still alive.
"Not everything I wear actually belonged to him," Shad said, as if that was going to make all the difference to Link. It did help, yes, but not completely.
"But some of it was his," Link said, and Shad nodded. "How much of it? Half? More than half?"
"Half would be a good starting point." Which meant that that it was more than half.
The two of them looked out across the sea of clothing racks and four-way displays. Swallowing a breath roughly, Shad was intimidated by the sight. Link imagined that Shad was seeing the clothed mannequins as guardian statues ready to defend their clothing from anyone unworthy of their fashions such as him. But Link was here to guide him through this task.
"I want you to find things that speak to who you are," Link said.
"But what if what speaks to me makes me look like an aristocratic father in a retirement home."
Link grinned as if he was soundlessly laughing. "That's okay too. I'm not going to force you to pick out things you don't like. What I'm really asking from you is to try something different. If you see something but you're unsure how it'll look, try it on anyway."
"That is not unreasonable," Shad said. "I have no idea of where to start."
"I'll help you out there." Perhaps between the two of them, they could solve this puzzle.
Shad had most of the basics already. Link wasn't going to make Shad throw out all of his dad's clothes, just the over-worn and too old even for Shad. Link mostly wanted to give him options—younger, more casual choices—to mix in with his time capsule closet. Shad was sixteen, even if his soul qualified for a senior discount.
They started off with a couple pairs of jeans, a light and a dark blue. They went through the plain shirts, but Shad had plenty of plain shirts, and Link was hoping to get Shad to be more expressive in his choices. They found a few more possibilities and headed to the fitting rooms. Link sat outside Shad's changing room. He realized too late that he should have grabbed his flashcards. He could have been going over them while Shad tried on outfits. Shad would have liked that.
"Oh dear, this is far more casual than I am accustomed to wearing. May I have a second opinion?"
It definitely took a couple seconds for Link's brain to repaint his mental picture of Shad. Blue jeans and a T-shirt didn't look bad on Shad. It was just so different from what Link was used to seeing him wear.
Shad interpreted his silence negatively. "I look ridiculous, don't I? I was afraid of that."
"You look fine," Link assured, getting out of his seat and standing in the changing stall's doorway. "Welcome to the present day, Shad."
But was it an improvement?
Shad and Link both stared at his reflection in the mirror. Link stared at Shad's shirt, he stared at his jeans, and then he stared at his outfit as a whole. Everything was in his size and fit right but still there was something off. Something that told his brain that this wasn't right.
Perceptive as always, Shad had analyzed and accepted the problem. "I don't believe that I am the kind of fellow that can pull off a T-shirt and jeans."
However, Link wasn't about to give up. He was going to handle this problem the way he handled all his problems—stubbornly keep going and refuse to quit, despite all signs pointing to failure. Link was thinking that a different shirt might be just the fix.
"Was the way I typically dress really that horrendous?" Shad asked, tugging once more at the T-shirt's rounded collar. V-necks were probably the way to go from now on.
"Not everything was terrible, no, but everyone needs a freshen up now and again," Link said.
No matter what angle he turned or how many times he picked at his shirt to lay differently on him, Shad just wasn't liking the way he looked in the mirror at all. His face was scrunched up like he had just taken a sip of a very bitter tea. "I will admit that my father's clothes are a tad outdated and threadbare, but there was nothing inherently wrong with his style."
Shad turned to the left and lifted his shirt up in the back to check out what was going on with his butt. He seemed unhappy with the fact that the form-fitting jeans actually revealed to the world that he had a cute behind. Link was not sure why Shad preferred his butt-negating slacks.
"Let me show you something," Shad said, taking a hold of the dividing curtain.
Link was pretty sure he already was.
"You don't have to prove anything to me," Link said, heading back to his seat.
Shad seemed convinced that it was certainly necessary for him to prove his point. The curtain rings clacked together as he slid the dividing curtain away once more. He had changed quickly. "There. My father's antiquated style brought into the modern age."
Shad was wearing an ash gray waistcoat over a purple shirt and charcoal gray pants with the caramel brown loafers he was already wearing.
"What do you think, old boy?" Shad said, with such a confident smile. Actually, everything about the way he was carrying himself was full of confidence. He was happy to be in clothes he was familiar with. Link was liking everything this outfit was bringing out of Shad. "Does this satisfy your contemporary tastes?"
Oh… was all Link was able to think. His stare was transfixed on Shad, and he struggled to find his words. Shad's outfit was a bit formal, but it was smart, sleek, and stylish in his way. Maybe he was wrong and trying to get Shad to dress like his age was a mistake. Maybe all Shad needed was to update his clothes.
Link knew he had to say something before he gave Shad the wrong impression. "You know, you can tell me to shut up if I don't know what I'm talking about," he said, with a grin.
"So you like what I'm wearing?" Shad asked, his voice sounding lower than usual. Surely, Link was just imagining things. Even if he had imagined it, some part of him wanted it to be real. And for Shad to come closer.
"Yes," Link said. Shad's outfit looked nice. He had done a great job picking out colors that complemented his red hair and fair skin. The purple dress shirt in particular brought out the indigo in his eyes. Link probably should have told him that. He knew that he should compliment him. He wanted to compliment him. Link was having trouble stringing words together. It was embarrassing. No wonder his face was getting red.
Link wondered when Shad had became hot. Link then realized that it was a very silly thing to wonder when Shad had become hot because people did not magically become hot. Shad was already hot. Not that Link thought Shad was hot, except he did because that was the thought he had just had.
Link was suddenly very confused.
"See, my father's style can work," Shad said, pleased to have proven his point successfully, "though I agree that it would be beneficial to branch out a bit."
"Leaf it to me then," Link said, just to say something, and then realized he had made a really dumb pun. He quickly collected the clothes the both of them had agreed didn't work and excused himself. If Shad had found him funny, Link sure didn't stick around to find out.
Link couldn't believe what he had just said. He couldn't believe how he was acting around Shad—getting flustered, checking him out, making dumber than usual jokes. He was feeling all goofy and bubble-headed. Really if he didn't know better, he'd think that he had a crush on Shad…
Of course, he didn't.
...Didn't he?
Link piled the jeans and shirt he had on a four-way display in the men's department and stood looking around, trying to remember where the clothes went while trying to avoid thinking about other things that kept creeping up on him and saying hi.
Sure, Shad was cute when he smiled, and Link did like to make him smile. And yeah, he liked how Shad's face lit up whenever he was teaching him history or showing him a new recipe. Shad was patient with him and kept him focused on his work. Link never imagined that he would come to appreciate how Shad gently redirected his attention on their lessons but also knew when to be stern with him. Link never predicted that he would like hanging out with Shad and wished that they could go see a movie or to the arcade, instead of studying all the time.
None of that proved anything, of course. A guy could like a lot of things about their friend and that didn't mean he was attracted to them. And they'd be hanging out as friends. Link wasn't planning any dates with Shad. He was just keeping a list of places in his head that he thought would be fun to take Shad. He didn't have a crush on Shad.
Because if he had a crush on Shad, that was a problem. A very big problem.
Shad wasn't anything close to the kind of guy Link was into. He was a nerd. He was completely behind the times, and he didn't know a lick about pop culture or sports. The only regular exercise Shad got was holding up the heavy books he read.
Having tried to refold the shirt back to the way he had found it and failing time after time, Link tossed it back onto the four-way display.
Link was attracted to guys that were like himself. Athletic and sturdy-bodied. He liked tall guys. He didn't mind climbing a tree with a wide trunk. Shad was just tall, with a soft body. Shad was basically a fancy twist doughnut turned into a Hylian. He wasn't unattractive. He just wasn't what Link was attracted to. Really, if it wasn't everyone's dumb opinion about him, Shad could have been popular with the girls. If he liked girls. Actually Link didn't know what kind of people Shad was attracted to. Not that Link wanted to know either. He was just saying that some people that were not him could be attracted to Shad.
Startled by a hand on his back, Link jumped. It was just Shad, done with trying on his first set of clothes and back in his father's hand-me-downs.
"Pardon me, old boy. Were you lost in thought?" he asked, with a cheery smile. Shad seemed to be enjoying himself. At least there was a bit a sparkle in his eyes. Those big deep blue eyes…
Link shook his head to toss that thought far away, though Shad took it as an answer to his question. Thank the Goddesses that there was no way he was able to know what was going on in Link's head. Link hurried the both of them along to find some more things for Shad to try on. If Shad didn't ask for him, Link was going to stay out of the changing rooms.
-o-
Much later in the evening, Link and Shad left the department store, each of them holding onto a large shopping bag. Shad still couldn't believe that this was what Link had in mind when he had proposed his wager. Shad could have guessed for hours what they were going to do and never would have came up with the right answer. Link's spontaneity was a part of his charm, though. He made the world seem so full of possibilities.
"We might be able to fit a short—" Shad said as he checked his watch. "Oh heavens, no, we shall not. It's after eight."
"Really?" Link looked disappointed. Time had gone by even quicker while they were shopping than it had during one of their lessons. Link didn't have a curfew (well, he didn't anymore), but his parents definitely wanted him home by nine on a school night. "Sorry, I've got to go." He handed over the bag he was carrying to Shad.
Shad was surprised when Link then grabbed his wrist. He looked back up and was equally taken aback by the sheer joy on Link's face. "I'm really glad I go to do this with you today," he said, gently pressing his thumb against Shad's pulse point. "And I promise, from here on out, no more distractions."
Shad didn't know if he had mumbled anything back. He hoped that he had managed to say something. Link raised a hand in goodbye and turned around to head off. Shad then remembered something Link had forgotten. Really, it was a miracle any part of his brain was working at full capacity.
"Your backpack and History book is back at my apartment!" Shad hastily reminded Link.
"Give it back to me in class," he shouted back, his hands cupped around his mouth. And then he hurried on to reach the bus stop in time.
It was a bit of a walk back to his apartment, but it was nothing too strenuous. Besides, Shad kind of wanted the distraction. Because his attempts to set aside his crush on Link and focus on his task were not fairing as well as he had wanted them to turn out. Really, he rated them as half-hearted attempts at best. He knew that his feelings were pointless nonsense and that he was being absolutely ridiculous, but Link was everything he had ever wanted in a guy.
Link reminded Shad of the Legendary Hero he used to read about when he was little. After losing Ashei, Shad used to pretend that the Hero was his friend and that daydream grew to something of a crush as he matured into adolescence. Shad had always hoped that one day he was going to meet someone like the Hero of his dreams. It was a silly, little wish he had clutched to his heart that he never seriously believed was ever going to come true.
And then on the first day of school this year, Shad sat down at his seat in History class, looked up, and there walked in Link. Handsome, athletic, popular, Link was the perfect blend of the depiction of the Legendary Hero in the old tales and Shad's idealized vision. Much as Shad appreciated looking at that tiny tank of muscle he had built over the years, it was his smile and laughter that won his heart. Shad wanted to be that lucky person that got to wake up every day beside him. He wanted to spend part of his morning thinking up ways to make him smile throughout their day rather than live in his current lonely, endless loop. Except that no one like Link was ever going to be interested in someone like him.
There was nothing spectacular about Shad. If life was a movie, he'd be a background extra ordered to keep his back to the camera the entire shot. On a good day, he looked in a mirror and judged his face to be averagely pleasing, but most of the time all he saw were his weird proportions and acne. And in no way was Link ever going to find his body attractive. How could anyone fit like Link find his lanky twig limbs and his raw bread dough belly appealing? Besides, they had trivial interests in common. Link was never going to ask him out on a date because they snacked out on the same cookie no one else made.
Shad wished that Link was still a jerk toward him. At least that way Shad knew he had no chance. Now that they were friendly toward each other, it was a lot harder to keep that little wish in his heart quiet. He just had to keep reminding himself that once their arrangement was over, so was their friendship.
Shad squeaked in shock as a guy put his arm around his shoulders, causing him to bow forward. He started running away, but two more guys grabbed each of his arms and wrenched him back.
"Woah there, pal. Hey, Shad, buddy, how are things?" Shad recognized the three smirking guys as some of Link's teammates. Shad had seen them before at the party, but he didn't know their names. He kept thinking that their names had something themed around birds.
"As well as one could hope," Shad said reluctantly.
"You're tutoring Link, right?" the first fellow asked and Shad nodded yes. Shad didn't like his doubtful tone. "So how is our boy doing?"
"Well," Shad replied. "He will most certainly pass his test."
Shad had no idea why Link's teammates were talking to him, but he had his suspicions of why and what might be their intentions. Being an outcast and bullied on a regular basis, Shad was well aware that three of his classmates coming up from behind and surprising him never led to pleasantries and a handshake.
"Good, good. Except—" Shad felt the pit of his stomach drop. "We saw you a moment ago and it looked like the two of you were doing some not-studying together."
The other two teammates tried to peek inside Shad's shopping bags. Shad snatched his bags up and pressed them against his chest. "I-It's nothing!"
The first fellow pushed Shad into a nearby alleyway while the other two blocked the way to the street. Link's teammate grabbed Shad by the shirt and pinned him up against the side of the building. Shad couldn't help but note the grim tide of deja vu coming over him. It had been a while since he had last felt this stabbing fear, his heart in his throat, and the looming certainty of the threats and beating to come.
"You're supposed to be Link's tutor," Link's teammate said, as if through clenched teeth, and Shad nodded yes, because that was true. "Then why are you hanging out?"
"I...well, um...he...he invited me," Shad managed to reply. He wished that he had convinced Link to come with him to retrieve his belongings.
"Invited you?" the guy snorted in disbelief. "He's just trying to get out of studying."
"He was, at first. However, he has really put his nose to the grindstone now and—" The boys scrunched up their faces in disgust. "It's just a saying," Shad explained quickly and, with the same breath, said, "He's made quite a lot of progress." He hoped they took his word for it.
"He'd know a lot more if the two of you weren't wasting time," Link's teammate said. "And you know how important it is to us that he can stay on the team, right? Link's gonna need every second he's got to be prepared."
"Yes, yes," Shad said anxiously, nodding with each yes. "I assure you that he is on track."
"Is he now?" he said and Shad shakily nodded once more. "Good."
Shad hoped that this was it and that he could leave. If they had just wanted to put a scare in him, they had certainly succeeded. Their point was made, and Shad did not object to it. He needed to start treating Link less like a friend and more like his pupil. No matter how much he wanted to delight in it while he still had the chance.
"Then we just wanna make sure he arrives ahead of schedule," Link's teammate said and sharply kneed Shad in the solar plexus.
Shad crumpled forward, the air gone from his lungs. The other two guys ripped the bags out of his hands and tossed them aside, onto the ground. And then they joined in. The fellow to Shad's right connected a punch against the corner of his mouth, the hit cracking his teeth together. Shad stumbled a few steps to the side, just trying to find his balance really, when he was socked in the eye. His glasses broke. Shad prayed for no glass or metal to get into his eye.
It had been a while since the last time he had been someone's punching bag. Shad used to be somewhat numb to the bullying. That wasn't to say he didn't feel any pain—he felt a lot of pain then and now. It was more that he was resigned to his fate. He had grown used to getting beat up and had accepted it as a part of his daily life. Knowing what was going to happen had let him brace for what was to come. But his brief freedom had only made his pain sharper and cut deeper into him than he last recalled.
Shad fell sideways. His shoulder slammed onto the cracked asphalt street. He hit the side of his head, the impact causing his head to bounce and hit the alleyway a second time. He was dazed and afraid. Directions didn't make sense. Nothing made sense. Shad instinctively covered his arms over his head. Link's teammates started kicking him in the side and stomped on his back over and over, so many times counting ceased purpose. He heard their insults and grunts through his heartbeat pounding in his ears.
He tasted his own blood in his mouth. He hadn't tasted that in nearly an entire month. He had been two days shy of that milestone actually.
He hoped Link's teammates tired out quickly or that help arrived. Neither seemed likely to happen anytime soon.
-o-
Link was surprised to see Shad's desk empty when he made it to class. Shad always already at his desk by the time Link arrived, though mostly because Link usually came to class with less than five minutes before the bell. Link always looked over and tossed him a quick nod as a hello as he made his way to his desk. He was more than a tad disappointed that he didn't get to continue that new habit.
But Shad was going to bring him his backpack and History textbook, so he could just say hi when he brought them to him then. He hoped he wore one of his new outfits today. Not because he wanted to see Shad in anything in particular but because they hadn't spent all last evening picking out clothes for nothing. It would be a real shame if Shad didn't wear them to school and no one got to see that Shad was actually attractive. Even if seeing him in jeans took some getting used to.
Link wasn't too concerned about not having his book and notebook for class. Shad was definitely going to bring his stuff to him. He was just running late. For the first time ever.
Shad didn't show up for class.