Co-written by Engineer4Ever.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Reading Son of the Earthshaker
IX
"No volunteers? Alrighty then, I, Apollo, god of the arts and poetry, shall make the decision for us! ...Eenie, meenie, mine-y, moe...Percy Jackson, you get to go!" Apollo snapped his fingers, and the book vanished from Frank's hands.
"What? Aw, why me again?" Percy groaned as the book landed on his lap, the cover facing up. Despite it being an interesting 'What-if' (and thankfully somehow translated to Ancient Greek), reading wasn't a fun pastime for him. He'd been burnt for too long by 'required reading materials' in academics to actually enjoy the activity.
"Because, Percy Jackson, I am a god and I have decreed it. That should be enough of a reason for you," Apollo smirked at the sheepish look on the teen's face. He rubbed his chin. "And because you see reading as a chore."
"It is a chore."
"C'mon, Seaweed Brain, it's not that bad." Annabeth shook her head.
"You would say that."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You're pre-des, uh...pre-det, um...Annabeth, what's the word for uh, the, likelihood of developing an inherited behavior?"
"Predispositioned?"
"Yeah, you're that in regards to reading."
"...Well, that's a roundabout way of saying she's a book nerd like her mom…" Hermes murmured. He ducked under a tome that flew at his head, and glared at the goddess of wisdom. "Hey, not cool! We're not even near your library!"
"Don't remind me." Athena shook her head. "Perseus Jackson, please either start reading or hand the book to Annabeth."
"If you hand the book away, I'm going to give you a mutated version of the flu." Apollo deadpanned. He arched a brow when he noticed the glower from Poseidon. "What? I gave him, like, the easiest minor quest ever and he's refusing it!"
"That…" Poseidon sighed, then looked at his demigod. "...Percy…"
"Wh-Dad!"
"Percy."
"Fine!" A brooding Percy slumped down in his seat and cracked open the book. "Chapter nine…"
The squeal that greeted Naruto as soon as the door flew open nearly shattered his eardrums. The hug he received was also tighter than what he was prepared for, but he returned it all the same with a wide smile on his face.
"Hi, Mom." He savored the feeling of the hug; he'd probably missed her almost as much as she missed him. Hugging her again like this was something he would never take for granted. Still, as would any fourteen-year-old, he groaned when she planted a firm kiss on his cheek. "Mom!"
"Hush, you. You're my munchkin and it's been five years since you visited! Letters just aren't the same." Kushina sighed. She turned to the other blond boy and engulfed him in a tight hug before giving him the same welcome she gave Naruto, kiss included. "Welcome back, Jay-Jay!"
"Thanks Mom." Jason smiled as he returned the hug, doing his best not to emote like his pack-brother had. Kushina's arms tightened briefly around him before she let him step away. He rubbed his tattooed arm sheepishly. "Sorry about the wait. Camp's red tape is rather...excessive."
"A strong governing body means a strong community." Jason agreed.
"Ehh, too much government can ruin a good thing. Look at what's happening to America! It's Sparta all over again, including the not awesome part!" Ares groaned.
"Are you referring to its fall?" Athena asked.
"Don't remind me!"
"Er, I don't see how that relates, Lord Ares…" Jason furrowed his brow.
"I think I do…" Leo shivered.
"Care to share with the rest of us?" Piper asked.
"Sure, but get me some brain bleach ASAP."
"Only if it's on sale for a fair price."
"Funny...So, Jason, this is going to sound dumb but...bare with me for a second."
"Okay…?"
"If a roman trainee farts in public, how many fines do they pay?" Leo asked, a look of grave seriousness on his face. Everyone eyed him with confusion, save for Ares, oddly enough. Then, once they'd remembered what he'd said, they slowly turned to Jason.
"...Three." Jason weakly admitted and looked away from the smug smith.
"Yeah, that's what happens with too much government involvement." Leo chuckled. "Course, first they have to get the cops to actually enforce that kind of law, and then it'll be a problem."
Naruto's green eyes flashed darkly at Jason's words, and he pushed the bubbling anger down as best he could.
It had taken another few months before they could go to get Kushina and help her move to New Rome. The reason for this was because Romans were of the mind that blood was thicker than water, and since Kushina was not Jason's blood mother, his request wouldn't be accepted by some of the more 'traditional' members of the senate. Naruto's own request was nearly denied due to a highly biased amount of senators, but it was swiftly approved when Tim spoke up in his defense.
"Though the argument for it was...acceptable, to deny the son of Jupiter is risky enough," the Praetor had said, as he stood before the senate with his father's ever-present scowl on his face. "To face the wrath of an already hostile god such as Neptune and risk retribution from Mars himself for the mistreatment of not only one of my finest soldiers, but to refuse the woman – who has also fought and bled for the land we are blessed to live on – that birthed the sea god a son, is absolutely retarded. If none of you can see this, out of some sense of blind duty or misguided honor, then perhaps it's time for a new senate."
"Hot damn, the balls on that one!" Ares chuckled and slapped his knee. "Make sure you stir up that kind of shit, Frankie-boy! Need someone to slap the pencil pushers in the face once in a while."
"Uh, sure thing." Frank gulped. The other Romans were gobsmacked by an active Praetor raking the Senate over the coals like that.
"...You know what's really scary? I think Tim is starting to grow on me." Percy blanched. He thought Clarisse was the exception.
Of course, his words stirred discourse and anger within the senators, as was expected when they were being threatened so blatantly. However, none were foolish enough to believe that the son of Mars, one of the two Praetors, didn't have the ability to make it happen. Octavian, still new and fresh in his position as Augur, was the first to voice his support for the Praetor's side. The rest of the mass followed like a herd of sheep.
"Wow, not-so-subtle dig Mysterious Author." Apollo scowled.
"Not everything is about you." Artemis drawled.
"Um, hello? My legacy, being compared to a shepherd! What did I do for ten years as a mortal? I was a shepherd." Apollo crossed his arms. "Case closed, the Author...s took a dig. And I noticed."
"You're willing to go after The Fates for this?" Athena asked.
"Do I look suicidal to you? We know that they sent the book, but they didn't write it."
"You're reaching, Apollo.." Zeus shook his head. He rubbed his beard. "But you disliked shepherding that much?"
"No! No, I, uh, I loved it! It was the best punishment ever!" The god of the sun's smile was forced. "Ten out of ten sun gods would suffer it again!"
"Hm, I'll bare that in mind."
Ignorant of the hassle that the two boys had to deal with, Kushina simply smiled.
"All that matters is you're both here now." She rested her hands on the boys' shoulders and pulled them into another hug. "My two big handsome boys!"
"Mo-o-om!" Both groaned as blood rushed to their faces. Being treated like the youths they were, and not like the soldiers they had trained to become, was alien to them. At the same time, however, it was more than welcomed. She laughed and released them from her hug, pulling away to smile at the two. Her hands migrated to cup opposite cheeks on either of their faces.
"I'm not wrong," Kushina's eyes had softened the longer she looked at the two. She pulled her hands away and held up one arm with the other, the upheld palm pressed against her cheek. "You two are going to be a couple of lady-killers when you're older. Not surprising given your fathers."
"You met Jupiter?" Jason asked, brows furrowed.
Poseidon made a disgusted noise at the very notion.
"Oh, so mature, Poseidon." Zeus scowled.
"Do you remember the last time we ended up with the same mortal woman?" Poseidon asked. Hera harrumphed and glared at her husband, who was keen on ignoring her for the time being.
"...The Hundred Year war was very quick." Zeus affirmed.
"Thankfully, no." Kushina chuckled as both boys stared at her cluelessly and waved her hand. "I've already wrecked one immortal home, I'd rather it not risk the wrath of the Goddess of the Heavens."
"Oh, right." Naruto nodded and elbowed Jason, making the boy stumble, before he followed his mother inside. "She's talking about Juno."
"What?" Leo asked.
"Juno." Hazel repeated.
"Juno what?" Leo asked with a heavy latin accent. Hazel blinked in confusion.
"Oh, god." Piper cradled her head. "Leo, please...don't. Just...just don't."
"What? I Juno what ju're talking about, Piper."
"Yeah, I already figured that out, Nar." The son of Jupiter rubbed his side as he mildly glowered and he followed the two.
"I will never get over your adorable nicknames for each other." Kushina giggled and shut the door before putting a hand on her hip. "Now, go clean up. I've got dinner cooking and a few movies to watch later. We can pack up tomorrow."
"...Can we watch Transformers?"
"Naruto, you're fourteen." Jason deadpanned. Naruto arched a brow.
"Are you saying you don't want to watch it?"
"...I didn't say that…" The son of Jupiter crossed his arms. "I'm just saying that, maybe, don't jump to the kid's movie off the bat?"
"You wanted to watch G.I. Joe, didn't you?"
"...It's a better movie."
"You are out of your mind! There's lasers and robot fights!"
"Props to the squid kid," Hermes nodded.
"G. I. Joe had lasers." Apollo pointed out.
"Due to censorship of the time, not implied advanced technology."
"You sound like Devon from the Second." Jason scoffed. "G.I. Joe somewhat captures and implements tactical training into their film-!"
"Oh, puh-lease," Naruto rolled his eyes. He smirked. "You just can't handle the death of Optimus Prime."
"Th-that's not true!"
"Hey, man, relax. I cry everytime I see it, too."
"I did not cry!"
"Only true men cry during that scene." Apollo sighed. He dabbed his eyes and blew his nose into a kleenex. "...Poor son of Primus, why?!"
"Advertising was pitching different toys?" Hermes suggested. The sun god rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I know why, but story-wise it didn't make as much sense!"
"Eh…"
"I swear by the Fates, if you two start another argument over those stupid toys—there is no punishment father can think of that will sway me from shooting you." Artemis growled.
"...Fine, we'll table this subject." Apollo huffed while Hermes shrank away from the angered goddess.
"Go-"
"For now."
"You're right." The green-eyed blond's grin turned savage despite the thunderous glare leveled on him. "You bawled."
"I want it on record that I've never bawled watching any movie." Jason quickly interjected.
"Pfft, yeah right." Thalia scoffed. "And I wasn't scared by the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters."
"...Wait, so you were?"
"I was a kid. Kids are scared of all sorts of dumb stuff."
Jason threw himself at the other blond with a roar and an impromptu wrestling match broke out.
"Both of you had better stop right now! I'm armed with a ladle and I'm not afraid to use it!" The redhead poked her head around the corner and waved her weapon of choice threateningly. The two boys cowed, not wanting to upset her. Satisfied, Kushina pointed towards the head. "Good. Now go clean up. Chop chop!"
"Yes, Mom." Both blonds grumbled, shooting glowers at each other. They got up off the ground and headed to the bathroom to wash up. Once they were out of the eyesight of their host, Jason stopped Naruto and took hold of his collar, glaring at his pack-brother with sparking eyes.
"If Misaki ever tries to tease me about Optimus' death, there will be no source of water that could heal what I do to you. ...Understand?"
"Yeah, yeah. Relax, Jay, if I out you, I out me, too."
"You don't out your bro. That's just inconsiderate and rude," Nico said. "And backing them up when they do come out is the ultimate bro move."
"Does that make me best bro?" Jason asked, grinning.
"No. I was coerced by a god." The son of Hades slumped down in his seat and scowled. "Stupid winged jerkwad…"
"Why do you have such a large recliner?!" Naruto complained, the size of it making him waddle as he carried it by himself. Since he was pretty strong, it didn't seem that big of a deal in hindsight. However, it was enormous and he struggled to get a grip on the dang thing.
"I got it in Singapore on sale. I love it!" Kushina argued back as she was carrying a box of wrapped silverware. "The red and dark blue design is fantastic, and it's so big I can just curl up in it without having to open it fully!"
She passed him deftly and stored the box in a moving truck. The side of the truck read: Mercury's Movers, New Rome had started it up back in the seventies after a rather disastrous accident of several families getting attacked enroute to the city. With some planning and proper funding, the Senate had managed to disguise armed guards for Legionnaire families. It was a big PR move that really took off well, and only claimed a fractional tax increase to keep it properly funded.
"Now that is business done right. Armed movers? Best idea those kids thought up." Hermes beamed with pride at the idea.
"Bah, escort missions are the pits." Ares sneered. "It was more entertaining when it was one chase scene to the next with the moving families."
"And the deaths?" Hades asked.
"Nothing wrong with some collateral. Besides, it means less mouths to feed, and less weaklings to clean off the battlefield."
"And that is why Pluto funds Mercury's Movers."
"What?!" "I knew it!" Ares and Zeus exclaimed. The latter pointed his finger at his brother.
"You are not supposed to intervene with the lives of Demigods!"
"I don't." Hades smirked. "Pluto does. Take it up with him, Maximus Prime."
"...Bastard in Disguise…" Poseidon mumbled before he snickered.
"I hate you both."
"Do you want a hand?" Jason called from where he was rearranging boxes in the moving van.
"No!" Naruto grit his teeth as he started drifting to the left. "I can do it! I just need to shimmy to the left a little."
"You mean the right."
"No, I meant left!"
"I'm pretty sure it's right, munchkin." Kushina added, handing off her next box to Jason, before rushing back to the house. Watching all of this happening was a curly-haired boy wearing a faded purple and gold boiler suit and a hardhat.
"Oh...Maybe Venus should fund that business." Aphrodite grimaced. "Those outfits are so tacky…"
"Eh, seems like any other Californian group to me." Hermes chuckled.
He was leaning against the truck with his hand on the hilt of a hidden sword, and a grin on his face.
"...This is like a bad sitcom."
"There's no such thing!" Apollo huffed.
"Oh yes there is." Hera drawled. "Our doorman starred in a failed one."
"That...is an argument for another time." Apollo deflated when he saw how annoyed the topic was making his father.
"Who asked you, Dakota?!" Naruto snapped as he dropped the recliner down on the driveway, glaring jade daggers at the son of Bacchus. The boy immediately held his hands up.
"Hey, I'm not the one that volunteered to carry the king-sized recliner on his own. Don't get mad at me."
Naruto snorted like a bull before he walked around the ramp and grabbed the arms of the chair. With a small grunt, he hoisted the chair up over his head and resumed carrying it, this time with the ability to see.
"Hey, hurry up! If you boys keep stalling I'm going to eat the cookies I baked last night!" Kushina called out from the house. "No slackers get rewards on my ship, shrimps!"
"Geez, your mom is a hardass." Dakota muttered as Naruto walked by him with the recliner. The blond son of Neptune dropped the furniture with a thud, pushing it into place before glancing down at the legionnaire he called a friend.
"Yeah." He grinned. "Isn't it awesome?"
"You're so weird, dude." Dakota chuckled.
"Stop flapping your gums, Dakota. Keep an eye on the perimeter." August, a tall muscular daughter of Virtus, grunted. She was carrying one end of a couch while Shawn, a son of Fama, carried the other end. "Naruto, give us a hand, here!"
"There's more boxes to get and purple cookies at stake. Sorry, Auggie." Naruto hurried past them to grab the next tower of boxes.
"The lure of cookies knows no limitations." Leo nodded.
"...It'd be understandable if they were blue, but purple's alright…"
"Percy," Annabeth sighed. "Please just read."
"Don't call me that, you runt, or I'll flatten you during the next War Games!" The girl snarled.
"Easy, August, we're all on the same side!" Shawn hissed as he felt her lose focus on their current activity. Hence, he started to get more weight than he had bargained for.
"Not during the gladiator matches."
"...Do you really want to fight Uzumaki in the gladiator pit?"
"I could take him!" August grumbled as they carried the couch into the truck.
"I feel like that's his Clarisse." Percy muttered to Annabeth, who snickered in soft agreement.
"You do remember when he knocked Jason out, right?" Shawn asked as they lowered the couch. He glanced at the son of Jupiter, who was staring at him with an arched brow. "Er, no offense, Jason."
"Some taken." Jason huffed.
"...None taken," Jason said, shaking his head. He rubbed the left side of his jaw, the faint memory of where he'd been hit by that last punch haunted him. Those two days spent in the infirmary were gaps in his memory, and while he'd long since forgiven his pack-brother, he'd never forget it. The only positive was that the punch had knocked out a wisdom tooth that was growing in crooked, so he was spared the horror of getting braces.
"...Lucky sonova…" Jason's eye twitched.
"What?" Piper asked.
"My wisdom tooth was knocked out by a rampaging pegasus' hoof when I was ten."
"And you were doing what by a rampaging pegasus?"
"Trying to stop it, Thalia. Duh." Thalia slapped him upside the head. "Ow! What was that for?"
"Don't you 'duh' me, Jason Grace."
"Oh, Jay-Jay~! I don't see any boxes in your hands!"
"Pluto's Pauldrons!" he hissed, snapped from his thoughts at the call. He hurried out of the truck and ran back to the house, passing by his adoptive mother and the nearly-overburdened green-eyed blond.
"Good boy." Kushina cheered as she came out with a box labeled: X-Mas Decorations. She handed them over to Shawn. "Now be careful with these."
The boy gave a nod, gently taking the box and heading off to the van. The mother smiled and watched the young teens as they got the last of her belongings. When the packing finished, the three 'movers' climbed into the truck, getting a head start and some distance from two major targets of the Unkindly persuasion.
"Ah, Odeur des Trois Grands...Because you're worth it." Leo snickered.
"I regret tutoring you in French." Piper deadpanned.
"Mm, I don't think L'oreal would package monster-luring products." Aphrodite shook her head.
"I still can't believe they let Dakota drive." Jason mumbled as he and Naruto watched the truck drive off from their seat on the stoop. They were both sitting under the setting sun and enjoying a last styrofoam cup of lemonade.
"Ah, lay off. He got his 'permit'."
"Yeah, a 'permit'." Jason air quoted with a snort. "More like a piece of cardboard and some Mist."
"That's a horrifying prospect." Annabeth shivered.
"...Do you think Zoë had one?" Percy asked.
"I doubt it." Thalia shook her head. "The Mist might've just covered whatever car she was driving."
"I think it was plastic."
"You? Think?" The son of Jupiter shuddered. "May the gods have mercy on us all."
"Hey." Poseidon glared at his nephew.
"It would be cruel if your spawn could use the organ in their skull." Athena nodded.
"I don't recall asking for your opinion, Athena."
"Welcome to America, Poseidon."
"Harsh, Jay." Naruto chuckled before he took another sip of his lemonade. He fiddled with the cup and looked over the neighborhood they would be leaving behind. It was quiet, peaceful and ignorant of the larger world around them, kind of like the beach it was near. The two blonds sat in content with the company they kept, able to forget the world and the weight that may one day fall on their shoulders.
"La Cucaracha" suddenly blared, startling both boys out of their thoughts. They looked at the burnt orange van that pulled into the drive and then at the woman in the driver's seat.
"Not a bad model." Hephaestus rumbled.
"Excuse me?" Poseidon arched a brow.
"The van, Poseidon."
"Ah. Good."
Green and blue eyes exchanged confused glances before they looked back at their mother, both asking the same silent question.
"...It was cheap." Kushina shrugged. The gleam in her eyes dared them to say anything else on it. She pulled a pair of aviator sunglasses off of her head and slipped them on. "Now get in, we're shipping out."
"...Shotgun!" Naruto grinned when Jason groaned.
"Gosh darn it, I love shotgun." Jason grumbled.
"...Did you just say 'gosh darn it'?" Leo asked, a smile spreading across his face.
"Shut up, Leo." Hazel and Jason told the boy.
The drive through the Golden Gate Park was uneventful, for the most part. The traffic was killer, and Kushina was not thrilled at the prospect of taking the landlocked long route. It was about the last third of the way through the drive, somewhere around Oakland, that they saw the first sign of trouble. A group of motorcyclists had swarmed the highway and was advancing on the moving van.
"Geez, it's like we're in the middle of Mad Max." Naruto muttered, recalling the movie series he and Jason were introduced to the night before. Australia was awesome and he so wanted to go there someday.
"Naruto..."
"Yeah, Mom?" The blond looked at his mother, noting how her hands tightened on the steering wheel.
"If I said I saw a herd of centaurs galloping around us, what would you do?"
"Well...um, it depends on if they're the partying ones or the evil ones," Naruto said. He peered out the windows and then back at Jason, who had his coin in his hand.
"If it helps, they have horns coming out of the sides of their heads."
"Evil ones." Naruto and Jason deadpanned.
"The sobriety ponies." Dionysus said darkly.
"You do know that they drink just as much as the regular centaurs, right?" Hermes asked his half-brother.
"I call them that since they are evil. They don't invoke me when they partake, so I see them as sobered fools." Dionysus huffed and sipped at his soda.
"I swear to God, if they scratch my paint job..." Kushina trailed off. She pressed her foot down on the pedal and their van zoomed to the front of the herd, putting themselves between them and the moving truck. The bikers started to shimmer before revealing themselves as a group of centaurs. They were "Boys, weapons free. Use the back doors-Do not climb out that window, Naruto Uzumaki!"
"So...restricting." Zeus mocked.
"There's restricting and then there's parenting, Zeus. You just don't know the difference." Poseidon snapped, exchanging a glare with his brother.
"Ahem…" Hestia cleared her throat, drawing their attention. "Do we need to talk about this?"
"No." The brothers grunted and backed down.
"Aww," Naruto, who had put his hands on the roof of the passenger window, stopped himself from climbing out. He had a pout on his face. "But this whole scenario screams action movie sequence!"
"I will turn this van around, Munchkin!"
"Please don't, Mom!" Jason called out as he opened the rear door of the van. He stabilized the wind around them from the speeds Kushina was driving at. With a flip of his coin, Julius' javelin appeared in his hand. Naruto clambered back to stand beside him.
"Really wish I had some better long range stuff." He grumbled.
"Just try to block anything aiming for the truck. And don't shake things up!"
"Why? They're in California. He could get away with it." Annabeth frowned.
"This just in, a section of the 405 collapsed today when an 6.9 earthquake shook the state-!"
"That is not funny, Hermes." Hades deadpanned.
Jason told him as he took aim, electricity crackled down the length of the polearm, before it launched in a stream toward the galloping gang.
"I think you got their attention." Naruto deadpanned.
"Oh, no, really what gave that away?"
"Shut up and shoot, Captain Thunderpants."
"...I'm sorry, what brilliant name was that?" Nico asked, a small smile on his face. Aside from a disgruntled son of Jupiter, the other demigods also had joyous smiles on their faces.
"Captain Thunderpants." Percy snorted, withholding the laugh as best he could. He broke when the room erupted in a chorus of laughter from the other teens. Hermes, Apollo and Ares also joined in, while Dionysus and Poseidon had small smirks on their faces (the former enjoying the misery of any demigod and the latter finding his son's wit endlessly amusing).
"Oh...that's not going to go away anytime soon." Jason groaned and sank down in his seat.
"That is so your new nickname! For life!" Leo guffawed, while the rest of the demigods snickered.
With a scent of ozone in the air, Jason fired off another arc of electricity, blowing to bits one of the leading centaurs. Golden dust blew in the wind, blinding a few of the others that followed behind. One blinded centaur tripped over itself and took out a few more with its wipeout.
"Nice job, Jay! Can you do that, err... Twenty more times?"
"Shut up, Naruto." Jason puffed out. "You got any better ideas?"
"Actually, I might." Naruto eyed the box at his foot. Then looked over his shoulder at the driver. "Hey, Mom? Is the thing we talked about good to go?"
"...Why?"
"I think now's a really good time to try it out."
"...Alright, which of you got the higher score on your temp's test?"
"Me!" Naruto gleefully said, smirking at his pack-brother. Jason looked away, absolutely not pouting. He was not jealous that the son of Neptune had better reaction time on a chariot. No, sir.
"That's right, on wheels you're a bit slow on the track." Leo remembered back when they did some racing at Camp Half-Blood.
"I liked the foot races better." Jason defended himself.
"And he didn't have his sharp specs then," Apollo said, flashing a grin.
"Apollo."
"Yeah, sis?"
"Stop flirting with demigods."
"...You ask for a lot, you know that?"
"Then get your butt up here so Mama can do what Mama does best." Kushina proclaimed, sounding savage. The younger Uzumaki clambered back up to the front, taking the wheel and putting his foot on the gas.
"...Is it in cruise control?"
"Yes! Just keep us going straight."
While Naruto grumbled about dumb restrictions - he wanted to see what the van was capable of, dangit - Kushina went to the back and opened the box Jason was standing beside. The young blond tilted his head when he saw what was kept within. An M16 with a weird orange ring at the tip of the barrel was pulled out and the magazine was slid into place.
"Um, Mom? You do know a gun isn't going to work, right?" Jason bravely, if not foolishly, informed the woman wielding a deadly weapon.
"Okay, when have our parents packed heat before?!" Leo demanded as he looked at the weapon.
"My dad flew a plane around Kronos' palace when monsters tried to swarm us. He had celestial bronze bullets made up for the guns." Annabeth boasted.
"Okay...Anyone else besides Annabeth's apparent Red Baron of a father? No? Thank you, my point stands."
"You do know that the Red Baron was a German pilot in World War One, right?"
"It's just a metaphor." Leo rolled his eyes. "Percy, read before your girlfriend tries to turn this into a history lesson."
"I would-Percy!" Annabeth frowned at her boyfriend when he reread the last sentence over her speaking.
"Jay-Jay, I'm not stupid. Every servicewoman makes sure to pack the proper equipment when our brothers-in-arms come up short." Kushina smiled wickedly as she took aim.
Aphrodite smothered a laugh with her hand, Demeter started to giggle, and Hera's lips twitched upwards.
"...Anyone else feel like they'd just been dissed?" Ares asked, frowning.
"Yep." "Uh-huh." Hermes and Apollo nodded.
Zeus had a prominent scowl on his features.
Her violet eyes lined up with the first howlering centaur. "Cover your ears, sweetie."
The gun barked with each shot, Jason's ears rang even after he covered them and the mad herd was turned into swiss cheese from the rounds. Jason stared at the gun, looked at the dust that was quickly falling behind them, and then at the woman that was smiling proudly where she knelt.
"Mom...Did...Was...HOW?!" Jason demanded, eyes wide. Kushina smiled at him and pulled the magazine from the slide. She overturned the contents of the magazine into a cupped hand, small beads poured out.
"Good ol' American ingenuity with a little bit of Celestial Bronze sprinkled in."
"...Celestial what?"
"Don't they have some in Camp Jupiter?" Percy asked.
"Yeah, but, it's not as common." Jason shrugged.
"Because the Greeks need it." Nico smirked.
"Well, bronze is cheaper than the gold market." Jason shrugged.
"...Was that a poor joke?"
"Maybe."
"As expected from the son of a banker…" Hades mumbled, a smirk on his face.
"For the last time, my Cabin does not look like a bank!" Zeus snapped.
"It's a lesser divine metal. Easier for mortals to find." Kushina shrugged. "Got it off of eBay from some seller in Frisco. ChaseTheTime. Funny guy, bit too smug in his advertising, though. I had no idea demigod parents had support groups online until after your first visit."
"...Oh...Oh that's bad." Percy paled as did the other demigods whose parents, or grandparent in Frank's case, were still alive.
"And this is why I'm glad my dad doesn't know about the gods." Piper nodded.
"...You didn't tell them anything about us...right?"
"Of course I didn't, Jay-Jay." Kushina smiled. "I definitely didn't tell an anonymous chat room about your first viewing of The Transformers: The Movie. BlueCandyHeartSally thought your reactions to Optimus' death was adorable."
"Oh, that is so not cool!" Jason scowled.
"...Leo, can you find out if-?"
"Your mom has a support group. Yeah, I could. But it'll cost ya…" Leo grinned.
"It's not cheap, Percy. Trust me." Piper warned.
"Mom!" Jason and Naruto both whined while she laughed. Sirens got their attention for all of a second before the pursuing officers broke off after a completely different vehicle.
"Boy, does that Mist stuff do great work or what? Sucks to be that guy." The woman whistled in appreciation as she packed her toy away before she climbed back to the front seat.
"So can I keep driving or do we need to switch again?"
"Pull over so we can switch."
"But-!"
"Naruto."
"Okay, fine..." Naruto pouted, jutting his bottom lip out as he pulled over to the side of the road.
"Huh, and he didn't crash? Super strength, great at building like his father. This kid's got potential…" Hermes rubbed his hands together. "To make money!"
"Hermes, do not abuse demigods for fiscal gain," Zeus said dryly. "It wouldn't do anything for you anyway."
"You were so on board with it last century." The god of thieves muttered. "And then We got roped into World War One. Thanks, Ares."
"Bite me, short stop."
The rest of the drive was, thankfully, uneventful. They got to the checkpoint and Kushina met Terminus. Or, at least, one of his statues. She asked him about his nose and if it itched. The god wasn't amused, and let them pass without further interrogation. After going through security, they were able to drive into New Rome with little incident. Upon entering the city gates, one legionnaire asked for more details and gave them a destination to unload at.
"I cannot wait to see the layout. I saw the pictures, but nothing is better than seeing it for yourself, ya know?" The Uzumaki matriarch gushed happily as she parked in her new driveway. She was giggling gleefully as she got out of the van, the two blonds smiling with her as they looked over the small homestead. The house was a simple two-story, with one and a half baths and three bedrooms. It was just like the rest of the houses on the block in aesthetics, cream colored with dark roofing; not unlike the ancient Roman's simplistic homes.
"Yes! Finally my own room!" Naruto cheered. "Normally, we can't decorate our barracks. Well, not aside from Zack's memorial, but that's a special case. Ah, this is going to be so awesome. I can get a surfboard rack, my spoils shelved and-Oh, oh! Maybe I can get a motorcycle and put it in the garage-"
"No." Kushina and Jason shot down the dream unanimously. Kushina gave him a glare that made him think twice about protesting, motherly instincts screaming their refusal. Jason, on the other hand, had his arms crossed over his chest.
"You've got a customized chariot already. What do you think Neptune would do if you got a motorcycle?"
"...Max out the horsepower?"
"No, but I would." Hephaestus hummed. "Vulcan's kids might, too. If they're anything like mine."
"We've seen my genius work on his car." Leo nodded.
"Hate that car." Percy grumbled.
"You hate the driver," Thalia rolled her eyes.
"And you lurve him sho mush!" Annabeth shot back, fluttering her eyelashes.
"...Annie, you are so getting owned in CTF the next time the Hunt comes to camp."
"We'll see."
"Even more reason for you to stay away from them."
"Fine…" Naruto sighed. He looked the house over and rubbed his chin. "Maybe a side stable for Balius and Xanthus?"
"As much as I love your father, I'm not cleaning up after horses." Kushina put her foot down at the notion, before she entered the house.
"While fair, ouch." Poseidon rubbed his chest.
"Besides, that might cost you more favors than you have." Jason pointed out. Naruto hummed before he grinned and glanced at the son of Jupiter out of the corner of his eyes.
"We could get you a birdbath."
Piper snorted.
"Are you trying to bribe me?"
"Me, bribe? No! Perish the thought, Jason. I just figured fair is fair after all." He grinned. "I've got the two steeds of The Heel guy, so you might as well make a new friend."
"Naruto, I'm not going to talk to birds."
"Right, because they're birdbrained."
"...Start unloading the truck before I zap you."
"Jason Grace, I believe I told you to not act like your sire." Hera deadpanned.
"Hera, do you have something you want to say?" Zeus rumbled.
"No, dear. Just reminding my champion of my warning."
"This is my life now, Piper. I hope you're ready for it." Jason whispered to his girlfriend.
The grueling task of unpacking was finished once the Uzumaki family of three (and their hired help) had unloaded the last boxes and, in Naruto's case, one stubborn piece of furniture. It was well into the night, and the two sons remained at the house while their help returned to Camp Jupiter to debrief the Praetors.
Naruto was conked out on the couch, a bowl of kernels that used to hold popcorn tipping over to the edge, but held in place by his arm. Drool pooled beneath the corner of his mouth, the dim light of the credits of his favorite movie illuminating his form. Occasionally, his foot twitched and a ground-shaking, stuttered snore shook the room.
"Even his snores?" Leo shook his head. "Geez, talk about overpowered."
"Didn't you, I dunno, come back to life by forbidden means?" Nico asked.
"Ix-nay on the urvival-say, dude."
Jason was sitting in the oversized recliner, snoring away with a bag of Twisters tucked into his side. Out like a light with one leg dangling off an armrest. He would shift and twist every now and then, but for the most part was far less active than his pack-brother.
Kushina watched the both of them from the entryway into the kitchen, smiling softly. Her head rested against the notched wall, where a golden trident had been hung. She let out a content sigh, happy to see her baby and another's resting well. It was overdue, in her opinion, to have her sons back in her life. She would never forgive their fathers for costing her and them their childhoods, but this would do for now. Life was good.
Hopefully this kind of peace could last for a long while.
"And cue Murphy!" Hermes snapped his fingers.
Of course, as soon as she had such a wistful thought, the peace was broken. Not of her doing or of anything outside, but from the very two she had been so contently watching. Both boys shot awake, Naruto shooting upright where he was while Jason's arms flung the Twisters up into the air. Both had a scared look on their face, and they let out the same cry at eerily the same time.
"Diana, look out!"
"Whelp, that's a depressive ending. Even if we know how it ends." Apollo wrinkled his nose.
"Can we not, please?" Artemis asked, hints of depression in her tone. How humiliating was it to remember that she, the Goddess of the Hunt, was outsmarted by the enemy.
"Why? I think it makes you a perfect damsel in distress." Aphrodite smugly pointed out.
"Bite me."
"Well, only if you're asking~"
"Ladies." Hera gave the two goddesses a warning look.
"Fine, fine, kink shamer. Just imagine what poor Artemis feels from being denied!"
"There's so many reasons I hate you already, Aphrodite. Don't give me another." Artemis warned.
"Can I give this book to someone else now? I feel like its judging me." Percy grumbled.