A/N: Disclaimer: I STILL OWN NOTHING! I wish I did, because I would not be couch surfing. XD

Hi, everyone! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

I didn't get any reviews on the last chapter, but, I hope you all still enjoyed it if you read it!

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Now, without further ado, here's chapter 8! :)

Chapter Eight

I wake up on Sunday morning, groggy and warm. I am cradled safely in someone's arms, my head resting against their chest, their heart beating steadily against my cheek. For a second, I think I'm back in Washington, snuggled up with my ex and that the past few months have been a complete and total dream state.

But, that can't be right. I've been with Nessie for too long. I've been a part of the Cullen household and family for months now. I have a schedule and a routine.

There was no way I was curled up in Washington with Jacob Black.

I slowly open my eyes, wondering what is going on. Did I go out drinking with Jasper last night and end up back on the couch with him Sunday morning? Who is taking care of Nessie?

I'm already panicked and, then, when I do open my eyes, I about jump out of my own skin.

I am literally laying on top of Edward Cullen, who is in my queen sized bed, still dressed in his jeans and sweater from yesterday. I'm still wearing leggings and a tank top. Why is he in my bed? Why is he holding onto me?

I pull away so quickly that I disturb him. I quickly sit up and scrunch myself as far away as possible, becoming one with the side of my bed. I chew on my lip as he opens his eyes. Do I run? Should I rush into the bathroom? What should I do?

I can honestly say that I have never been in this situation before!

Edward looks troubled when he finally wakes up completely. "Bella, are you alright?" I must be quite a sight to see. I'm sure I look ridiculously terrified and comical.

He reaches a hand out toward me, and I recoil enough that I have to get out of the bed. His face creases. "I'm sorry!" I say, folding my arms around myself, as though I am exposed and haven't been wearing the same outfit for the past twenty-four hours. I'm not really sure why I'm apologizing or for what.

Edward seems to be wondering the same thing. "What are you apologizing for?" He slowly starts to get out of my bed. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I look at the ground and chew on my lip. "I...I don't know?" I look up at Edward under my eyelashes. "Why are you here?"

Edward's lips press together. "You asked me to stay last night…you fell asleep in Nessie's room and, when I tried to carry you back in here..." He takes a deep breath and, then he sighs, shaking his head, as though understanding is finally dawning on him. He rakes a hand through his hair, defeated. "You don't remember...you were talking in your sleep." He turns his back. "I am so sorry, Miss Swan. I should have…"

I immediately feel this rush to defend him from himself, because I am the caregiver to everything in this house, apparently. I'm sure there are therapists out there that would have a hayday with this kind of behavior, but, I'm starting to briefly remember thinking I was dreaming and I can't allow him to beat himself up over it...because Edward Cullen will beat himself up over this. "Please, don't! I'm so sorry! I was incredibly unprofessional! I should never have said that!"

Impulsively, I reach out to touch his arm, but I stop short. I bite my lip. I'm an idiot. Even on top of all of my disconnected anger, there's a little voice that is still holding onto my puppy crush for Edward Cullen. He wouldn't have stayed if it didn't mean something, would he? I don't even know…

Edward takes a deep breath and turns back toward me. "Bella...are you...angry with me?" His face looks pained and almost childishly asking for forgiveness.

I'm puzzled by this. Me? Angry with him? I'm vaguely aware of my actions last night and fully remember asking him to stay, though, not fully conscious. I don't think he's entirely to blame for this fiasco.

I shake my head, determination and resolve steeling my emotions. "No. No, Mr. Cullen...I think you should be the one that is angry with me...I crossed a line and there is no excuse for that. You have already told me that I need to set a good example for Nessie and I agree…"

Edward gently takes my hand. "When did I say that?" He gently squeezes my fingers together and holds onto me. "Bella, you are the epitome of wonderful with my daughter. I could not have asked for a better role model for her…"

I blink and try to be as calm as possible, controlling my breathing. In for two, out for four...in for two...out for four. Why does his hand encompassing mine make me feel so warm and light?

"A…" I clear my throat. "A few weeks ago. You told me that I needed to behave more professionally...right before…"

I feel my face flush. Right before you kissed me. I want to say it...but, I can't say it outloud. I can't bring myself to say it. He never brought it up, so, why should I? Truthfully, this is a conversation that we probably should have had a few weeks ago, but, at this point, it doesn't make any difference. I've compartmentalized the feelings and determined that it wasn't an important occurrence. Clearly, he has done the same.

Edward nods, remembering. "Right before…?" He must be reflecting on what was said and what has been done. When he remembers, I see his face fall into an emotion that I don't quite recognize. He drops my hand gently back to my side. Edward smiles at me sweetly. "I understand. Bella...is that why you have been avoiding me?"

My eyes go wide. "I haven't been avoiding you!" Not obviously, anyway. But, I definitely wasn't going to seek him out. "And...I didn't think that it really meant anything to you...I didn't feel like you treated me differently…" I cast my eyes down, trying to find the correct words.

Edward's fingers carefully wrapped around my chin and tilts my chin up. "Miss Swan…" He gently strokes my jaw before withdrawing his hand. "Never bow your head to me." I feel my breath catch in my throat. "Do you think that I kiss women indiscriminately? Or without reason?"

I feel my nose wrinkle. "What do you mean?"

"Do you think that lowly of me that I would simply kiss any woman that I meet? Did you ever think that maybe I didn't treat you differently after I kissed you because I've been treating you in a manner that you deserved all along? I will admit that, perhaps, kissing you so spontaneously was not...my best judgment…"

"It was a mistake and it was drastically unprofessional of me to allow it to happen!" I blurt out, trying to salvage my conversational abilities.

Edward Cullen's face darkens, his eyes turning down and his face becoming noticeably tense. "You...think it was a mistake?"

I feel my breath catch. "Wasn't it?" I try and take another breath, but my voice is frantic. "I'm just your nanny and any stupid puppy crush I may or may not have on you does not counteract the fact that I am the help."

I must have made him angry. I'm not sure what I said that did this, but I have never seen an expression cross his face like the one I am observing. It is all fire and brimstone, ready to burn through me and anyone else in its path. "You keep saying that. Who told you that you were just the nanny? I have never said that to you!" He takes a step toward me. "You are so much more than just the nanny! Reneesme adores you! I could not have asked for a better person to walk into our lives. Do you honestly think that it would be so hard to not kiss you again, to not touch you, if I honestly felt that you were just my employee? Bella, this is the first time we've been able to talk about me kissing you that night and, for that, I am sorry, but, I don't even know how you feel!"

I don't even know how we devolved into an argument, so, I guess neither of us is able to think at the moment. "You say it's hard not to touch me or kiss me?" I laugh, angrily. "No, we haven't gotten to 'talk' about what happened. You've been going about your day as usual, because it clearly did not have an effect on you. But, I'm not a plaything that you can just pick up and put down when you're 'trying to be professional'! I'm not trying to be your sex toy! I didn't come to work for you because I wanted to fuck you! I came here for Nessie, for a job! I'm not going to be messed with and toyed with so that I can fall in love with you and you can go off and…"

I realize that I'm crying. I'm not completely sobbing, all I know is that there are tears pouring over the brim of my eyes. Why am I crying? All of my emotions are hardwired to my tear ducts. I'm about to have to excuse myself from my own bedroom! This is utterly ridiculous!

Edward reaches out to me and gently touches my shoulder. "Bella…"

I shrug his hand away from me. "I'd like to get cleaned up now and start my day and forget this ever happened. So, if you'll excuse me…" I motion for him to step past me toward the door. When he doesn't move and I'm unable to look him in the eye, I decide to brush past him instead.

To his credit, Edward is the absolute model human being. He gently grabs my arm and pulls me to him as I try to run away, embracing me, his arms firmly wrapped around me in a way that is meant to be comforting, but, if I wanted to be left alone, I could have easily pulled away and left this conversation behind me. "Edward…" I'm pinned against his chest and can't see his expression.

"Do you really believe that I could actually use you that way, Bella? I've become so fond of you because you never once tried to make a move on me and you have always been dedicated to Reneesme. That alone has made you so much more endeared to me than anything else in this world ever could have. So, please...do you honestly believe that I would be able to use you for my own pleasure?" I pull back in his arms just enough to look up at him and I shake my head. No. I didn't actually believe that he could or would use me in a manner like I was describing. If anything, I was just scared because I wasn't sure why I felt so drawn to this ridiculously wonderful man and I was already very attached to him and his daughter. He takes a deep breath. "May I kiss you? It's difficult for me to put into words how I feel about you...but...Ms. Swan, I am very fond of you...and I'd like to pursue that fondness...with you...with your blessing…"

Is he actually at a loss for words? I've never seen Edward Cullen in this kind of state before, and, I'm fairly certain, this is a rare occurrence. "What about Nessie?"

Edward's sharp emerald eyes look into me, as if that's the least of his worries. He strokes my cheek, brushes a lock of my hair behind my ear, caressing my shoulder as if something has broken inside him and, now, he is able to enjoy touching me as much as possible. "She adores you. I don't see us dating being a problem for her."

I glare at him, as best I can. "That's not what I mean!" I bite my lip. "I'm still your employee…"

"We separate the two worlds. I might sign your paycheck, but, when you're off the clock, you're not my employee...you'd be my partner."

I can't help but laugh. "You make it sound so simple."

"Why can't it be?"

I play with the stitching of his sweater, becoming very engrossed in the grey yarn fibers as they are woven together. "And, if it doesn't work out?"

Edward's hand leaves my back to snake under my chin, tilting it upward to look at him again. "I wouldn't be taking this risk if I thought there was a chance of it not working."

I feel my face wrinkle in confusion. "Are you trying to ask me out?"

Edward Cullen smirks at me and, without a second thought, I mesh my lips with his. Unlike our first kiss, this one is more passionate and heated. Our lips move in tandem, though gently, there's an undertone to it, as if we have waited too long to breathe each other in. Edward grips onto my waist and pulls me flush against him, my hands snake around his neck. His hand snakes over the curve of my back, cupping my ass before pulling my thigh up around his waist.

We're so engrossed in breathing each other in, we don't notice the door open. I promise you, if I had heard the door open I would not have been grinding against my boss.

"Holy Hell, Bella!" An angry, southern voice interrupts the haze of lust that is washing over my body and makes me jump, turning the color of a sheet.

Edward Cullen, without missing a single second, keeps me pulled against him and growls over my shoulder. "Are you incapable of knocking?"

"Are you incapable of not fucking your daughter's nanny?" I hear the rage in Jasper's voice. He is seething. Part of me wants to fix the problem and run to him. Another part of me is so mortified that I don't know what to do at this point.

Edward gently releases me, keeping hold of my hand, and pulling me slightly behind him in a protective manner. I stare at the very plush carpeting of my bedroom floor. I never noticed how nice the bedroom carpet was. It is very nice. Probably expensive, too…

I mentally begin to catalogue any time I may have spilled something on this carpet.

"That is a highly inappropriate accusation." Edward's voice is still calm, but, I know he is serious. He's not yelling as Jasper is, though I'm not sure how. I can tell by his body language that he is not accepting of Jasper's behavior and, in a fight, I don't actually know who would win. Jasper is slightly lankier, but he once told me he's was a soldier. Edward is, however, taller and more broad.

Jasper is still seething. "What else would you call it? When you said you would handle this, Bella, this is not quite how I saw it going!"

I bite my lip, hard. Of course, Jasper does have reasons to be upset. He's not blowing it out of proportion, as far as I can tell. I see it from his perspective in which I am being taken advantage of. I need the job and I like my job and I'm afraid to push the boss away. Jasper has also cautioned me to not get close to Edward Cullent multiple times. So, for him to be upset, I think that he being perfectly reasonable.

"Jasper." Edward snaps at him, "Miss Swan is an adult." I feel Edward gently squeeze my hand. "Bella, were you uncomfortable or unwilling in the situation? Please, be honest with me. I never want you to feel that way."

Immediately, my eyes go wide and they snap to Edward's. "No! Not at all!" I wrap my other hand around his, fully encompassing his hand in both of mine. I turn to Jasper, my face still flushed with embarrassment. "I'm the one that initiated what you saw…"

"You're taking advantage of the situation, Edward, and I don't like it!" Jasper continues to fume, despite my assurances. "I can't imagine your attorney is going to be able to spin your twenty-three year old live-in nanny as your fuck buddy in a positive light for a judge. Imagine how Tanya's attorney is going to use that against you!"

I flinch. Jasper is right. He is very right. Edward must feel my flinch. This is the first time he has raised his voice in the entire conversation. The fire and brimstone aura come back and you could cut it with a knife. Edward levels Jasper a look that could kill. "Bella is not my 'fuck buddy,' as you so eloquently put it. Don't you ever degrade her in that manner again or there will be repercussions."

Jasper continues to seeth, but laughs in a manner that is absolutely terrifying. "You couldn't manage this house without me. I pay all of your bills. I cook all of your meals. I watch Nessie when there is no one else to watch her, albeit, maybe that's a bad decision since you have been using it as an opportunity to groom your employee into your sex toy." Jasper takes a step toward Edward and I'm actually afraid a fist fight might erupt.

Edward doesn't move or backdown. "You have grossly misunderstood the situation."

"I don't think I have." Jasper takes another step forward. "You have never made it apparent that you thought of her as anything more than your daughter's caregiver. Especially not to me. And, I walk in on you making out with her? Think about that. You've never asked her on a date. You've never expressed interest in her that I've seen or what she likes or who she is. She's good enough to seduce behind closed doors, but not to try and woo? That's not who Bella is and I'll be damned if I sit here and watch you take advantage of her."

I finally look at Jasper, who is still seething. Edward says nothing. I can't respond. There is a long silence before Jasper speaks again. "I need to blow off some steam. I'm going to the gym…" He storms from the room, his shoulders still to his ears, my door wide open.

Edward moves to close the door before returning to my side. He sighs. He gently takes my hand and pulls it to his lips. "Don't worry about Jasper," he says, softly, kissing my knuckles. "He's very fond of you, as well. He doesn't want you to get hurt." I nod, still slightly shaken up. To be honest, Jasper has made me feel incredibly ashamed of myself and my behavior.

Then, the little voice pipes up next to us. I have completely forgotten that my room is attached to Reneesme's with only a large bathroom suite separating them. "Daddy…" I look down at Nessie and immediately feel even more ashamed of myself. I pull away immediately, my eyes down on the ground. Nessie's eyes are lit up like it's Christmas. "Is Ms. Bella your new girlfriend?"

Much to my surprise, Edward pulls me in by the waist gently and kisses my forehead before he turns to Ness. He kneels down in front of her and pulls her in close, almost sitting on his knee. "What would you think of that, Ms. Reneesme?" He lifts her effortlessly into the air and spins her around. Nessie giggles with glee at the playfulness of the interaction. I feel like I'm intruding on something private. "Miss Bella is very pretty and kind...and I know that she love you."

Reneesme nods. "I love Miss Bella, daddy...and I think she's the best girlfriend I could have ever asked for. Plus, if you get married, she'll never leave!"

Edward smiles brightly, kisses her cheek and deposits her back to the floor. "Come, my love. Miss Bella would like some time to get dressed." Nessie nods and threads her tiny hand into Edward's. Edward Cullen looks back at me with a strange, almost sad expression on his face. "Can we talk more later?"

I nod, pushing my hair back behind my ears, barely looking up from the floor. "Yes...I think that would be...for the best."

Edward nods, Nessie looking between both of us, slightly confused. "Would you have dinner with me tonight? In my study. Away from...prying eyes."

I nod. "Yes...I...um...I think that's a good idea."

Edward turns to Nessie. "Let's go get some breakfast, Ness. What do you think?"

Nessie, bright as ever, turns to her father and smiles. "Pancakes."

"Absolutely, princess." Almost silently, Edward closes the door to my room again with Reneesme leading him.

And, just like that, they walk out of my room, leaving me in privacy. I sigh. There is a large part of me that knows that I want Edward Cullen and that, having him in my life, romantically, no matter how short that time may be, is what I want.

Yet, there is another part of me that, as I sink into the bubble bath I draw for myself, that this is not a smart idea. I could be putting my entire future at risk. I could be forcing myself into heartbreak and into moving back to Washington much faster than I wanted. I loved being a part of this family. I loved working here. Jasper was already upset. And, he could be right…Maybe I'm getting used. But, also, if Edward and I didn't work out…

I shake my head and lower myself under the bubbles. The romantic part of me wants to take the risk...I guess I have a total of about 12 hours to determine what I should do.

A/N: Reviews and flames equal quotes from the next chapter! Let me know what you think and let me know if you think they should work out! :)