Well, it's been two years hasn't it? Long story short, when chapter 102 came out and I read it, it sent me right back into Servamp hell and now here I am. I got motivation and inspiration back to work on this fic, so here it is. I'm glad to be back and here's to hoping I can finish it finally. I can't actually promise it won't take another two years tho. I do not control the hyperfixation after all. But still, it's nice to finally get back to this AU for the time being.
I'm sure the contents and direction of this chapter is a lot different from how it would have ended up if I actually managed to write it two years ago, but perhaps this is the better direction than what I originally intended. I hope it flows well with the previous chapter too. A two year difference means my writing may look different, but I can't be too sure.
Also, since this fic will suddenly shoot back up to most recent, I hope any new readers that weren't here two years ago have enjoyed the fic up to this point! Thanks for making it this far and welcome to the fandom! It's kind of a shame to see how small we are now compared to the explosion that came after the anime's release. Still, no matter how long I'm gone from any fandom, I know I'll return to it one day. Servamp means so much to me, so I know I'll never truly leave it behind!
Please enjoy the new chapter!
"Alright, dinner's ready." The Mother announced.
"Oh hell yeah! I'm hungry!" Lawless cheered.
He and Wor rushed to their seats and quickly sat down. Tsubaki practically jumped up from the couch to join them.
"Heeeey, Baki. Can you get your widdle baby bros some dwinks pwease?" Lawless requested in a childish voice and held up his empty glass.
"Yeah, yeah. Dwinks!" Wor added, holding up his own glass.
Tsubaki stood there and just gave the two of them a deadpan stare before he shrugged. "Okay, fine."
The brunet took both their glasses and headed for the fridge while Lawless was a bit surprised he actually did it. He didn't care that they were milking the lie for all they could since he rarely got to participate in it thanks to being in the family for the least amount of time. It was just cool to him that he got to be referred to as the bigger brother for once. The Mother grabbed her own glass, as well as Old Child's and came to the fridge followed by Doubt holding his own glass.
Old Child and Love both got up to make their way to the table. Eventually Ash sighed and did his best to stand up. Thankfully his situation was beginning to subside, but the whole thing was still bothersome to him. He waited a moment until there were a few less people crowded in the kitchen and then headed to the cabinet. He got out a can of cat food and stood over Kuro's food bowl. The second he started taking the lid off, Kuro perked his head up and jumped off the couch's arm rest. As usual, he didn't wait to start eating before Ash could get all the food into the bowl.
Ash threw the empty can into the trash and went to his seat. He stared at it for a moment. Mahiru really would be sitting so close to him while they ate. It was way too embarrassing, but Ash just had to deal with it whether he was ready to or not. He slid his chair out and sat down then scooted his chair back up to the table. A hand placed a full glass next to his plate and Ash looked up to see Mahiru. The brunet smiled at Ash and he quickly dropped his gaze down to the table.
"You said soda, right?" Mahiru asked.
"Uh, y-yeah. Thanks." Ash responded.
Mahiru simply nodded his head and sat down next to Ash, placing his own drink that The Mother handed him next to his plate. Mahiru wasn't really embarrassed about sitting so close to Ash so much as it was just a bit awkward. It was nice to sit at a table full of people, but that also meant it was a bit crowded, resulting in situations like him and Ash where personal space had to be put aside for the time being.
Everyone eventually finished getting their drinks and settled into their seats. With everyone finally in place, Wor decided he was good to start getting food. He grabbed the ladle in one of the pots and everyone else took that as the starting symbol. Lawless and Tsubaki also started digging into the food on the table while Love filled Old Child's plate for him. Once they were mostly done, The Mother, Ash, and Love got their own food. Doubt and Mahiru waited for everyone to be done before getting food for themselves. Mahiru felt it was more polite to wait and Doubt just didn't want to get anyone's way since he barely put much of anything on his plate anyway.
It was quiet at the table, which some days was normal and some it wasn't. The reason today was that the ones who did want to speak up, weren't really sure where to start to try conversing with Mahiru. Wor was too busy stuffing his face to take the time to strike up a conversation, Lawless didn't want to say something that would get Ash too angry at him, and Love felt he had so many topics to choose from that he didn't know where to start. However, it ended up being Mahiru that broke the silence at the table.
"You're cooking is really good! I could probably learn a thing or two from you." Mahiru complimented The Mother.
She paused for a second and stared at Mahiru before getting the faintest hint of a smug smile on her face. "Well thank you Mahiru. At least someone in this house says they like my cooking."
All her brothers froze and felt a bit embarrassed.
"I-I love your cooking, Sis!" Lawless exclaimed.
"Yeah! Best shit I ever had!" Wor said with a full mouth.
"My compliments to the chef. Mwah!" Tsubaki added and did a fake kiss against his fingers.
"You always do a wonderful job and we appreciate it very much!" Love chipped in.
"Yeah, it's pretty good." Old Child stated.
"Thank you…" Doubt muttered just loud enough for The Mother to hear him.
"Without you we'd starve." Ash finished it off.
She placed a hand on Ash's shoulder and nodded slightly. "I know."
While it was true none of them could actually starve, that didn't mean they didn't enjoy eating. World End couldn't seem to stop himself from eating even if he wanted to anyway. But without The Mother's cooking it would probably be up to Love to feed them all and in that situation they probably wouldn't have dinner as a family every single day like they always did. Of course, none of that meant some of them would still feed themselves regardless of who, if anyone, was making dinner. Before The Mother came along Ash, Old Child, and Doubt simply fended for themselves. That is to say, Doubt stopped eating all together and Ash rarely ate in exchange for trying to take care of Old Child.
Mahiru chuckled a bit. "I guess you live up to your name then, huh?"
"My name?" The Mother repeated in slight confusion. "Oh, right. I guess I do. Well, someone has to take care of these boys."
Mahiru chuckled again and Ash couldn't help but take a moment to listen clearly to it. He was glad that Mahiru seemed to be enjoying himself and none of his siblings were causing any serious problems.
"So Mahiru, wanna tell us a bit about yourself?" Tsubaki suddenly asked.
And now was the time for Ash to start getting worried.
"Hm? Myself? Uh… I don't really know what there is to say. I guess I'm pretty average and simple. I like cats and I like to think I'm very responsible. That's all I can really think of." Mahiru replied.
"And how did someone so normal end up makin' nice with Nyash of all people?" Lawless wondered before taking a sip of his drink.
Ash just groaned.
"Well, I guess because we both like cats. Maybe if he didn't have Kuro with him when we bumped into each other then I wouldn't have said anything more than 'sorry' and left it at that." Mahiru answered.
Lawless didn't really expect a genuine answer and Ash turned to stare at Mahiru. Was that really true? Was it possible that it was all thanks to Kuro that he and Mahiru started getting to know each other? Perhaps even meeting again at the arcade wouldn't have meant anything if Mahiru didn't approach him thanks to seeing Kuro again. Mahiru did always seem to acknowledge Kuro first before Ash. There had to be some kind of reason for that other than Mahiru actually caring more about Kuro than Ash. There just had to be. Mahiru glanced at Ash with a curious expression, making Ash quickly look away and try to distract himself by eating.
"Well I think it's absolutely wonderful that Ash finally has a friend, no matter how different from each other they may seem to be." Love commented.
"Oh yeah, at least they ain't like Law an' Licht!" Wor loudly said.
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean!?" Lawless shouted at his little brother, who snickered at him.
"The… the pianist?" Mahiru questioned, but suddenly felt stupid for assuming Wor was referring to a celebrity.
Lawless and World End paused and looked at Mahiru in surprise, causing a few of the others to do the same.
"Oh, so ya got good taste in music too?" Lawless assumed.
"O-oh, no. A friend of mine listens to him. I'm not really big into music. So, you do mean the pianist Licht then?" Mahiru responded.
Lawless happily nodded. "Ya see, me and Wor here are in a band and last year we did a performance with the famous, illustrious, fabulous, angelic Licht Jekylland Todoroki!"
"And now you two don't stop texting each other." The Mother muttered.
"It's the only thing we can do since he's always travelling for performances and I'm stuck here in this dumb place!" Lawless loudly replied.
"Wait, you're in a band together? Is that what the drums I heard earlier were?" Mahiru interrupted.
"Oh? Ya heard that? I was gettin' in some extra practice cuz our manager is always houndin' me about not practicin' enough." Wor admitted.
"Our band's called G&G, for greed and gluttony. You should give our stuff a listen some time. I bet you'll like it!" Lawless suggested and let out what sounded like a mischievous chuckle.
"Ignore him. His greedy ass is just trying to advertise." Old Child piped up before Mahiru could respond.
"Oh, heheh. Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you're in a band though?" Mahiru replied, ignoring the kid's foul language for the time being.
"Exactly! He gets it! So lay off, Old Child!" Lawless demanded and Wor nodded his head in agreement.
"Don't yell at me! I'm a toddler!" Old Child shouted.
Both Ash and The Mother let out a sigh.
"You can't use that excuse for everything!" Lawless shouted back.
"Oh yeah!? Just watch me! 'Cause I can and I will!" The toddler exclaimed.
"Please stop…" Doubt Doubt whispered.
"You don't intimidate me! You're not even three foot!" Lawless insulted him.
"Doesn't mean I can't put three feet up your ass!" Old Child threatened.
Doubt opened his mouth to speak up again, but Ash beat him to it.
"Okaaay! Fun dinner. This is a… really lovely bonding time guys. I'm- I'm feeling the sibling love this afternoon. Really." Ash abruptly said, obviously being sarcastic.
Tsubaki let out a long, but somewhat quiet laugh while Lawless and Old Child both turned to look at Ash and then each other. They glared at one another for a moment before looking away. Mahiru glanced to Ash, who looked a bit annoyed. Mahiru understood Ash definitely didn't want his family being embarrassing in front of his guest, but Mahiru really didn't mind. Everyone's family was weird and Ash's family just happened to be a little bit more weird than normal. Each of the eight siblings were certainly eccentric in their own unique way and Mahiru felt that just made them more fun to be around, even if they did seem to yell at each other a lot. It was definitely a lot better to Mahiru than sitting all by himself for dinner just about every night. Still, there were a few things just slightly off about the family that made him curious.
"Well I think someone needs to lay down for a nap after dinner." The Mother commented.
Lawless side eyed his sister. "What are ya talking about?! I'm a grown ass man! If anyone needs to take a nap it's the five year old!"
His sister put her fork down and paused before turning her head to look at him. "I meant the five year old."
Lawless went wide eyed and felt his soul leave his body. "Ah…"
Wor, Old Child, and Tsubaki snickered at him.
The table fell silent again as Wor got a second helping of food, Kuro moved to lay under Ash's chair, and Doubt pushed his empty plate away from himself. Love gave him a light pat on the shoulder and he took that as a sign that he could leave early. Picking up his plate and glass, Doubt scooted his chair back and stood up. No one paid him any mind as he went to the sink to place it all in, but when he began to leave the room, The Mother looked up at him.
"Don't forget it's your turn to do the dishes today, Doubt." She said.
He stopped and turned back to her. "I'll… come back."
Realizing what was being talked about, Ash recalled the day before when he was talking to Doubt while they washed the dishes together.
"Oh, actually he helped me wash them yesterday. Or… was that yesterday? The day before." He said.
The Mother and Doubt glanced at their eldest brother.
"Okay, you can go then, Doubt." She told him.
Doubt continued to stand there for a moment and Ash looked across the room at the man. He could tell there was something hiding in Doubt's expression behind the paper bag, but what it actually was he would have to see to know. Unfortunately, Doubt turned and walked out of the room without another word.
"Lawless, your turn today." The Mother added.
The blonde flinched and sighed, lifting his glasses up to rub his eyes.
"Man, today is not my day." He groaned.
Wor shook his head in agreement. "It is not, dude."
Lawless glared at him. "Don't you have garbage duty today?"
Wor choked on his food a bit. "Y-yeah! So what?! You guys better make sure all your frickin' trash is in one place 'cause I'm gonna sweep by real quick and you're never gonna know what happened to it!"
"At least you're not next on front door duty! What if next time someone knocks it's a salesman? I wouldn't be able to stop myself!" Tsubaki chimed in, but nobody was sure if he was joking or not.
"Salesmen don't come down here, imbecile." Old Child remarked. "Besides, last time someone knocked we ended up with you."
"But I live with that fear regardless." Tsubaki stated in a cold tone before chuckling to himself, seemingly ignoring the other statement Old Child had whispered.
"You guys take turns with your chores?" Mahiru finally asked.
"Oh yes, it's only fair that way." Love answered.
"Otherwise some people would do nothing but laze around in their rooms all day." The Mother stated.
Ash looked off towards the kitchen, hoping to not find out whether his sister was eyeing him or not.
"I, however, am exempt from all chore duties! That is one of the perks of being five!" Old Child bragged.
"It's just 'cause you're short and can't reach anything…" Lawless grumbled before a flying spoon smacked him in the side of the head. "Ow! Why me?!"
The sight of none of the siblings reacting to the violence made Mahiru realize he had no reaction to it either. Had he already grown used to witnessing the family's antics? He didn't even feel disappointed in Old Child's inappropriate language anymore. How long had he been in the house? Probably not even an hour. It felt like it became way too easy for him to get used to it all. Granted, constantly saying something about their abnormalities would certainly be rude of him, and there was a part of him that just enjoyed the change of pace brought on by the family. But still, there was something odd about it all too. Just because Mahiru was used to the chaos now didn't mean it wasn't still strange. Ashford wasn't a normal town, and Mahiru had seen a lot of weird things since moving there, but Ash's family took the cake by a landslide.
A toddler with what appeared to be way too high of an intellect for his age. A man that wore paper bags on his head and spoke so quietly that he was almost impossible to hear. A guy that laughed way too hard over nothing and then flipped a switch to being bored out of his mind. The rest of the family looked normal by comparison, but even then, what was there that wasn't off about them? They were the only family living on the south end of town. Mahiru knew their father and Ash's mother were out of the picture, but what about the rest of their mothers? Where was Old Child's mother? Aside from Lawless and World End's band, did any of them work? There were eight of them plus Kuro in what looked like such a big house. How could they afford to live like they did?
Mahiru had so many questions and yet they all felt impossible to ask. Well, he figured the more he was around Ash, the more he would learn in due time. Mahiru glanced at Ash, who was taking a final sip of his soda. Mahiru really wanted to know more about Ash. Perhaps everything even. He still saw Ash as mysterious. But if he knew everything about Ash, would Ash still be mysterious to him? If he knew everything about Ash, would that even matter anymore?
"So it looks like everyone is done." The Mother stated.
Mahiru observed the table to see most of them were just sitting around by now. World End quickly grabbed the pot and desperately scooped what little was left in it onto his plate. Mahiru couldn't help but wonder if there was a bottomless pit in his stomach. Tsubaki was finishing his drink and Ash was poking at the last few bites of food left on his plate with his fork. Wor practically inhaled the last of the food then leaned over to grab Ash's plate right out from underneath the eldest brother to scarf down what remained. The only thing Ash did was move his hand out of the way, otherwise it was like he didn't even notice. Now that was something that Mahiru had to stare at in bewilderment. At least they seemed close enough that Wor knew it was okay to do. Well, that… or Ash knew there was no way to stop Wor so he just let it happen.
"'Kay, now everyone's done!" Wor announced as he placed Ash's plate back down where he grabbed it from.
Without a word, All Of Love stood up and grabbed Old Child's plate for the boy before picking up his own. Lawless and Wor followed suit, then The Mother stood up as well.
"Don't forget the dishes, Law." She reminded the blonde.
He groaned in response. "I know! Ya don't have to say it twice!"
Mahiru began to scoot his chair back. "I could do it for you actually! I don't mind."
The Mother and Lawless stood still and looked at the brunet while Ash wanted to grab his wrist to stop him, but couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Seriously, Mahiru," The Mother began. "it's very kind of you to want to help, but you're a guest in our house. It's just not right to let you clean up after us."
"If it makes ya feel any better though, dude, I'd totally take you up on the offer!" Lawless said.
Mahiru just nodded. He wasn't exactly sure if that made him feel better or not though.
"Although, Ash, why don't you be polite and put Mahiru's stuff in the sink for him?" The Mother suggested.
Ash let out a silent sigh. That would be polite of him to do, but… getting up still made him nervous.
"It's okay! I can-"
Mahiru cut himself off at the sight of the glare on The Mother's face and immediately sat back down in his seat as she and Love left the room. He couldn't tell if he made her angry with all his offers to help or not.
"You don't ever stop trying to help, do you?" Tsubaki asked from across the table.
Old Child glanced at Tsubaki, then over to Mahiru. Ash furrowed his brow at the youngest brother.
"Hm? Well, I guess not." Mahiru responded, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the way Tsubaki stared so deeply at him. "Most people, uh, accept my help and it's just… easier if I do everything myself. I guess I'm not used to being a first time guest at someone's house either. It's harder than I thought to act like one."
"Well trust me, letting other people do things for you instead of doing them yourself is even nicer than it sounds." Ash muttered.
"Is that so?" Mahiru paused as he thought for a moment. "Then, Ash, why don't you let me experience that by you putting my stuff in the sink for me?"
Ash's red eyes widened a bit. The slight smirk on Mahiru's face told him that Mahiru had successfully turned his words around on him. There wasn't really anything for him to do but comply. It was what his sister told him to do after all. Ash took it as a sign that Mahiru had grown comfortable enough with him to joke around at his expense too. Just this once he could muster up the willpower to do something for someone else.
Despite his concern, Ash decided to stand up without a word. When he pushed his chair back, Kuro moved under Mahiru's chair. To Ash's surprise and relief, his problem seemed to have subsided completely now. Old Child and Tsubaki shared a look with each other as Ash stacked his and Mahiru's plates together, then their glasses, and carried it all to the sink where Lawless and World End were sitting on the counter.
"He's got you whipped already, huh?" Lawless teased in a whisper as Ash placed the dishes in the sink.
Ash felt his fingers wrap tightly around a knife in the sink but he immediately released it not a moment later. First Sakuya and now Lawless. He had to stop letting such small things get to him today.
"And where exactly is that pianist of yours?" Ash whispered back before he turned and walked back to the dining table without so much as a glance at the blonde.
Lawless just stared at his brother in mild shock before his gaze dropped down to the floor. Wherever Licht was didn't matter unless it was by Lawless's side, but for the time being that was completely impossible. It looked like both brothers knew perfectly well how to get under each other's skin.
Ash stood behind his chair at the table and Kuro stepped out from under Mahiru's chair to climb up Ash and sit on his shoulder. Tsubaki and Old Child just stared at him and Mahiru glanced behind himself at Ash in slight confusion.
"You two… just gonna sit there, or…?" Ash trailed off.
The younger two shared another look with each other and Ash started getting concerned. Old Child hated Tsubaki, so what was the kid doing seemingly suddenly getting along with him? Unless that wasn't the case. Perhaps they both just knew they had the same line of thought going on. Either way it was still off putting to Ash.
"Oh, no. Just wondering how long our little guest is going to be staying." Tsubaki finally spoke up.
"That's none of your business." Ash bluntly stated.
"No, I suppose it's not. But I'm very bored you see." Tsubaki responded.
"Then go hang out with one of your own friends." The elder retorted.
Tsubaki froze as if he hadn't actually considered that.
"Ah. I suppose I could." He said as he pulled his phone out from somewhere unknown.
Old Child flashed his younger brother a disappointed expression. "Tch, useless."
"Seriously though, you guys just gonna sit there or are ya gonna leave?" Lawless chimed in. "'Cause I got shit I gotta clean and I can't if you guys are gonna laze around at the table all night."
Tsubaki groaned and he and Mahiru stood up at the same time. Old Child, however, stayed put in his seat.
"Fine, fine. I'll see if Shamrock and the others are busy tonight." Tsubaki grumbled as he walked out of the room while typing away on his phone.
Mahiru watched him leave, feeling like something Tsubaki said was familiar to him, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was. Forgetting about it, the brunet pushed his chair out to step away from the table and hesitated before pushing it back in its place. It belonged in the library so he wasn't sure if it needed to be taken back there or not.
"So, really, when is the Jezebel leaving?" Old Child questioned.
Mahiru had no idea what that meant and it took Ash a full moment to remember the meaning. Once it dawned on him that the kid was referring to Mahiru, he scowled at his little brother.
"Knock it off with that crap, Child. Didn't Sis say you needed a nap anyway?" He said.
Old Child went wide eyed. "Ash, don't you dare!"
"Oh, is he just cranky?" Mahiru asked.
"Obviously." Ash responded.
"We'll put you to bed then, Old Child. You'll feel better when you wake up." The brunet told him.
"Huh? N-no, wait! Ash, don't do this to me! You're just trying to get rid of me! I know it!" Old Child exclaimed.
Ash felt a bit bad, but if Old Child was going to keep causing a problem then it would be best to get him out of the way. Mahiru walked up to the boy and lifted him off his chair while he desperately squirmed around. The moment he was properly in Mahiru's arms, however, he seemed to quickly relax.
"This isn't… fair. This is cruel and un-… unusual punish… ment…" Old Child mumbled before drifting off to sleep in Mahiru's grasp.
Lawless and Wor couldn't stop themselves from snickering at the sight and Ash wondered again how that was even possible. It was almost like magic or something. In fact, was it magic that Mahiru was doing? It couldn't be. Mahiru hadn't given Ash a single reason to imply he knew magic of any kind. But then again, maybe it wasn't something Mahiru was aware he was doing. There was no way to know though and Ash didn't want to ask.
"Ah, where's his room?" Mahiru asked.
"Oh, uh, I'll show you." Ash said as he started to walk out of the main room.
Mahiru followed behind him and they left Lawless and Wor in the kitchen as they headed upstairs. Ash stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to the door on the opposite side of his bedroom. Mahiru was a bit disappointed that he didn't get to explore the house a bit further yet, but walked into the room after Ash and was quite surprised at Old Child's bedroom.
It was pretty small with the bed in the far right corner, a small desk to the left and a large wardrobe against the left wall. Against the right wall where the bed wasn't taking up space were tall bookshelves filled with countless books. They all looked very old too with not a single children's book among them. Mahiru had to wonder if Ash or someone else read them to the boy since he couldn't believe Old Child was able to read them for himself yet. As Mahiru took a step forward, he realized the floor was wooden with a small dark red rug in the center of the room. It made Mahiru notice that a lot of Old Child's possessions were wooden or a dark color, with only the sheets on his bed being red as well. There was no way the room was really meant for a five year old. It looked more like an adult's room.
"You can just lay him down. I don't think he'll wake up for a while." Ash said.
Mahiru brought Old Child to the bed and gently laid the boy down. He decided for himself to remove the boy's shoes, cape, and monocle so Old Child would be more comfortable, simply placing them on the desk. Mahiru also pulled Old Child's blanket over him to tuck him in. Old Child grabbed onto the blanket and shifted in his sleep and Mahiru couldn't help but smile at the boy. The sight of it all made Ash feel something warm, but it went away as soon as Mahiru turned around to face him.
"You guys have got to watch your language around him." Mahiru suddenly whispered in what came off as a harsh tone to Ash. "He's only five, he's clearly very impressionable. And you should probably get him a proper child seat for dinner. He could fall off that stack of books. And it's probably not good for the books either. Don't you have any children's silverware for him too? Giving him a metal fork means he could accidentally hurt himself. And I don't think it's a good idea to-"
"Mahiru. Mahiru, I know." Ash cut him off and put his hands on the brunet's shoulders. "Trust me, we all know. None of us are really cut out for raising a kid. We're doing the best we can."
Ash wasn't sure how much of that was true or not. Old Child was the second eldest. He was very much an adult, but he was stuck in such a young form. He had all the knowledge and life experience he learned over the centuries, but his brain hadn't truly developed past when he was actually five years old. There were so many ways Old Child was more mature than Ash himself. At times the kid was even capable of being the most mature one in the family. But his brain still made him act so childish at times. Ash was sure it even meant there were some things Old Child couldn't mentally handle and so acting like a child was the only thing he knew how to do in response. Treating him like a child in those times seemed more appropriate, so to an extent it really was like they had to keep raising Old Child forever since the family never aged.
Mahiru just sighed and looked back at the young boy. "Where… is his mom?"
Ash hesitated as he removed his hands from Mahiru's shoulders.
"Uh, um… she's not… she isn't…"
Ash's sudden nervousness made the answer clear to Mahiru and the brunet's brown eyes softened a bit.
"So all three of us are in the same boat, huh?" Mahiru commented.
Ash only nodded, not wanting to think about it any further.
"What about everyone else's moms then?" Mahiru inquired.
Ash's eyes stared past Mahiru at Old Child's bed. "I- I don't… M-Mahiru, can we not… talk about this?"
The look in Ash's eyes made Mahiru realize he was asking questions he shouldn't have been. He was clearly bringing something bad up to the surface for Ash and it was hurting the man. Mahiru had to admit to himself that he was curious. Ash, and perhaps even the whole family, must have been carrying around a lot of pain from… something. Maybe it was a lot of things. Mahiru just thought Ash was a shy shut in with anxiety at first, but the more he learned about the family, the more something didn't seem right.
They were all half siblings, related through their father. He left when Ash was young, but there were eight siblings, Ash being the second youngest as far as Mahiru knew. None of them had their mothers around and Mahiru knew that Ash and Old Child's mothers specifically had died. Did all the siblings live together their whole lives? Ash said only some of them were homeschooled so it didn't really make sense to him that they all would have grown up in the same house together. How old were they all anyway? He only knew Ash and Old Child, the youngest two, were eighteen and five. Everyone else was older than Ash, so why did they still live there? Why not move out? And where was their father now anyway? Did he not care that he had a five year old at home with no mother to raise the boy? Why did he have children with so many different women and then not raise some of them? Was the man even there for any of them?
Mahiru was racking his brain way too hard for answers. Thinking about it started to piss him off a bit even. He would have liked to have a strong word or two with Ash's father to put it nicely. But getting frustrated wouldn't help anything. Ash was the one who was clearly uncomfortable and it was all Mahiru's fault for prying into matters that didn't involve him. He didn't want to make Ash think about anything upsetting. He wanted to know to see if he could possibly help Ash, but it was best to let Ash talk about things at a time when he was ready. Maybe he would never be ready, but Mahiru would accept that too. As long as Ash was comfortable then that was all that mattered.
Ash felt a sudden weight against his body and something touch his back. It really took him a second to realize Mahiru hugged him, or, was hugging him. The brunet wrapped his arms around Ash and rested them on Ash's back, his head against Ash's shoulder. Kuro jumped off and sat on Old Child's desk. What was Ash supposed to do? He became overwhelmed by a fuzzy feeling in his chest and the mix of emotions from what issues Mahiru had reminded him of just a minute ago. While he didn't need to breathe, his breathing did get heavy, like he was going to have a panic attack any second now. Even his face was burning up. He didn't know what to do. His hands shook slightly and his fingers twitched as if they wanted to move on their own. It wasn't just a hug, it was a hug from Mahiru of all people. It wasn't the same as them bumping into each other. Mahiru willingly put his arms around Ash. Mahiru was the one that leaned in and wouldn't let go. If he could die then the feelings engulfing him at the moment would kill him.
"M-Mahiru… w-what are…" Ash struggled to mumble out, but he couldn't keep speaking.
"I'm sorry, Ash. I keep… I keep asking you questions about things that you don't want to talk about." Mahiru spoke in a soft tone, a strong contrast to how he sounded earlier.
"Mahiru…" Was all Ash could whisper as he moved his hands up to hug Mahiru back.
There was more Ash wanted to say. Three special words in fact, but there was no way Ash could ever bring himself to say them out loud. He didn't want to ruin the moment anyway. It just proved to Ash how kind Mahiru was.
"It's okay." Ash finally managed to get out.
"But are you okay?" Mahiru asked.
There was a long pause before Ash responded. "That doesn't matter."
Mahiru pulled away a bit so he could look up at Ash. His brow was furrowed and Ash couldn't tell if that meant he was angry.
"It does matter, Ash!" Mahiru raised his voice louder than he expected to, causing the moment after to feel deafeningly silent.
Ash's eyes widened and his breathing came to a dead stop.
What was Mahiru even getting so worked up about? He couldn't tell anymore. Ash's words just dug into him somehow. Ash didn't think his feelings mattered. Ash didn't think it was a big deal that something started to upset him. It really pissed Mahiru off, but he wasn't angry at Ash. No, he was angry at whatever caused Ash to feel that way about himself in the first place.
Ash wanted to open his mouth and say something, but what was there to say? He really thought it didn't matter and now here Mahiru was telling him that it did. He wasn't stupid. He got that. But he didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Ash didn't want Mahiru thinking he said something bad.
There were a lot of unanswered questions surrounding Ash and his family. The lies probably helped, but the unspoken things didn't. Mahiru had to be noticing things that didn't make sense. The way Old Child spoke and acted was certainly not normal for a five year old. Frankly, Ash found it a miracle that Mahiru actually believed that anyway. There was also the fact that even just thinking about certain topics was something Ash didn't want to do. He could tell Mahiru the truth and say their mothers were all dead, but then what if Mahiru asked how? Could Ash really say it was because of his father? He didn't even want to think about his own mother, let alone all of that.
The lies, those were easy to say. And as long as his siblings went along with them, then there was no problem. The truths were what Ash had a problem saying. They got him thinking about the past and things he just wanted to forget. That was why he didn't want to make a big deal out of it. As long as they dropped it then it was fine and Ash could stop worrying about it. But if the lies were starting to fall apart and make Mahiru ask too many questions until there was nothing left to say but the painful truth then… well, Mahiru would leave.
Neither one of them were sure what to say. Ash just wanted to apologize, but he didn't actually do anything wrong so what would be the point? Mahiru wanted to make it clear to Ash that his feelings did matter, but the look on Ash's face made Mahiru hesitate. Did Mahiru raise his voice too much? Look too angry maybe? Get too far into Ash's personal space?
The silence was finally broken by Old Child groaning and turning over in his sleep. The pair looked over at the boy, afraid they might have woken him up. After a moment he still hadn't moved again so they assumed they didn't disturb him.
"We should, uh… probably let him sleep in peace." Ash muttered as he took a step away from Mahiru.
"Um… yeah." Mahiru agreed, rubbing his arm where Ash's arm had been against it just a moment ago.
Both of them refused to admit that they missed the warmth from the hug.
Mahiru was the first one to walk out of Old Child's room. He waited in the hall for Ash, who walked out behind Mahiru with Kuro clinging to the back of his hoodie. Ash quietly closed the boy's bedroom door and stood there for a moment. What was there to do next? Things just felt awkward between them now.
"Uh, so, uh… is there a time you need to be home?" Ash nervously asked.
"Hah. Trying to get rid of me now?" Mahiru jokingly replied as he pulled out his phone to check the time.
Ash practically flinched in response, those words echoing in his head. "Oh, n-no! I didn't mean for it to… s-sound like… that. You can stay as long as you want! I just-"
"I was joking, Ash." Mahiru informed him.
Ash rubbed the back of his head. "O-oh…"
"It's after five and I don't know if my uncle is coming home late again or not, but I'm obviously not spending the night so probably no later than nine. I'd like to not be super tired when I get home." Mahiru said before putting his phone back in his pocket.
"You don't… have to stay that late if you don't want to." Ash said.
"I don't know if I will or not, but that's just how late I can stay." Mahiru responded.
"Well, just… say something when you're ready to go and I'll have Sis take you home. I mean, it's not like there's really anything to do around here anyway." Ash stated.
Mahiru raised a brow. "Okay, now you actually sound like you're trying to get rid of him."
Ash tensed up. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm really not, I just don't want you to get to a point where you wanna leave but don't wanna sound rude or… something… I dunno."
"You really try too hard to say the right thing, Ash."
Ash stared at the brunet for a moment.
"Because I don't know how to talk to people." He whispered.
"H-huh?"
Ash quickly turned and opened the door to his room to walk in. He knew he was trapping himself since Mahiru followed after him, but he just wanted to be somewhere he was comfortable for the time being. He sat down on his bed and Mahiru hesitated before closing the door so they could have some privacy. Kuro jumped off Ash's back and curled up next to the pillow. Mahiru just kept himself against the door, not sure if sitting down next to Ash was the best thing to do.
"Ash?" Mahiru spoke up.
"What?"
"Is there… something you want to talk about?"
"I don't want to talk about anything. That's the thing."
Ash kept his gaze down on the floor and his hood made it impossible for Mahiru to see his face.
"You don't have to. I just… don't know how to help. Am I… making things worse?"
"I'm the only one making things worse…"
Mahiru moved to stand in front of Ash. "Then just say what's really on your mind."
"I don't know how to. I don't… know how to talk to people like a normal person."
"You were doing fine the whole time up until now. You just… get nervous."
Ash didn't respond and Mahiru started to get annoyed. Something was going on with Ash and Mahiru couldn't pinpoint where it started. He wanted to reach out to Ash so bad. He wanted to understand the man, to get through to him. Mahiru wanted Ash to know he could trust him. He wanted Ash to come out of his shell. Just how closed off was Ash? Prying was wrong, but the situation wouldn't just resolve itself. Mahiru took a step closer to Ash.
"Do you think we're friends?" Mahiru questioned.
Ash lifted his head up slightly, but it wasn't enough for either of them to see each other.
"I don't know." Ash muttered.
"Why not?"
Silence.
"Because… what if I think we are… but you don't?"
"Well we are friends."
Ash lifted his head up enough to get a peek at Mahiru's face.
"I decided it as soon as I gave you my number. You've been my friend since that moment. You'll never not be my friend. And I… will never give up on a friend."
Ash lifted his head further so Mahiru could see his face completely now. His eyes looked like they were filled with disbelief.
"It's an uphill battle with me, Mahiru."
"Then I'll go put on some hiking boots."
Mahiru reached out his hands to Ash and put them around the man. He leaned forward and Ash let himself fall back on the bed. Mahiru laid on top of him and Ash stared up at his ceiling.
"I like you, Ash. I want you to trust me. I want to know you better."
"If you know me you won't like me."
"I promise that won't be true."
"You don't know that."
"I can decide for myself how I feel about things. And I know I'll make the decision to keep liking you no matter what."
"Then you'll just be forcing yourself."
Mahiru quickly sat up so he was looming over Ash on his hands and knees.
"Damn it, Ash! Why do you have to make this so difficult?! Why are you trying so hard to push me away?! I'm your friend now! I care about my friends! I want you to be happy and like yourself and go outside and laugh and smile! What did I do?! Why are you… trying to shut me out all of a sudden…?"
Mahiru was in Ash's line of sight, but it was like the man wasn't looking at him at all.
"There are things… I don't want to think about. Things I don't want to talk about. Things I want to forget. Things that… if you knew, you really wouldn't like me."
"But you… can't stop thinking about them, can you?"
"I try so hard."
"And me asking things made it harder."
Ash finally truly looked at Mahiru.
"You didn't mean to."
"But it became too hard anyway, didn't it?"
"I don't… want you to think you did anything wrong. I told you it was okay. It didn't matter. I would get over it in a little bit."
That wasn't what Mahiru wanted to hear, but was there anything Ash could say at that point that Mahiru would take as a good enough answer? He felt like he messed up so bad and still hadn't gotten anywhere with Ash.
Ash could see the worry on Mahiru's face. Nothing he was saying was working in either direction. He just wanted Mahiru to stop worrying about him. He didn't want to see Mahiru so worried. He didn't want Mahiru to think he did anything wrong when it was Ash that was lying to his face.
Ash lifted up shaky hands and reached them out to Mahiru. They cupped the brunet's face and he felt a chill against his cheeks. One of Ash's thumbs stroked his cheek for just a second.
"It's okay. Let's just forget about this, please."
That wasn't something Mahiru wanted to hear either. There really wasn't anything that could fix things, was there? Mahiru let himself collapse onto Ash and they both just laid there. Ash thought everything would be better after that, but then he heard a whimper come from Mahiru. Ash put his arms around Mahiru and rolled them both on their sides. Mahiru put his hands up to hide his face.
"See, I'm making things worse." Ash said.
"I can't just… I can't forget about it, Ash. I messed up. I made you think about something you didn't want to and it hurt you and now you're pushing me away and I just wanna help you and be closer to you and you want me to just pretend it didn't happen. And- Ugh, I don't know anymore!"
"We're only gonna keep going back and forth on this."
Mahiru didn't respond, but tensed up when Ash sat up without letting go of him. The man adjusted both their positions so they were laying in the bed the proper way with their heads on the pillow. Ash's grip tightened around Mahiru and they both blushed and looked away from each other.
"Take a nap." Ash muttered.
"Huh?!"
"You'll feel better when you wake up. That always works for me. Naps are soothing after all."
"I don't think-"
"That's what you told Child."
That was what Mahiru told the boy. Maybe it would be best to take his own advice then. He hesitated before relaxing as best he could. Would it really help though? It was certainly a weird suggestion, but Mahiru had to admit, being held by Ash was pretty comforting actually. Were Koyuki and his uncle's assumptions right? Why else would Mahiru enjoy it so much if he didn't… like Ash? In fact, did that have something to do with why Mahiru couldn't let the issue go in the first place? Something covered Mahiru and it became dark for a moment until Ash pulled it down a bit. Mahiru realized Ash put his blanket over them. It made Mahiru feel warmer.
"Nap time." Ash muttered as he closed his eyes.
Mahiru stared at him. Was he really going to just go to sleep? Well, it did start to actually feel like a good idea. It wasn't like Mahiru was tired or anything, it was just comforting. The brunet stuck his feet out from under the blanket and kicked his shoes off before pulling his feet back under. He pressed his face into Ash's chest and put a hand on the man's arm. Mahiru smiled a bit at the fuzziness that filled his heart.
With Mahiru's face hidden, Ash opened his eyes. He didn't know if he'd actually be able to fall asleep or not, but for the time being he would lay there as if he was anyway. Any other time Ash thought he would've died on the spot from laying in bed with Mahiru, but right now involved more important matters. He just needed to comfort Mahiru. Whatever it took to make the teen not worry about him. Although, he had to admit laying in bed with Mahiru so close to him was truly something magical, he just hated that the reason wasn't something more lighthearted. Ash could even feel Mahiru breathing. He pressed his face against the top of Mahiru's head and felt how soft that brown hair was. Ash didn't want to let go of Mahiru, but he knew at some point soon they would have to part. Mahiru needed to go home eventually after all. Ash would just have to enjoy the evening as much as he could before it came to an end. Before everything came to an end.
I think it's kind of fun and interesting how so much new stuff has happened in the manga after I stopped writing, that now two years later, I can reference canon stuff that didn't exist back then. If you noticed the little detail I added that references slightly recent manga revelations, then congrats! You're more up to date on the manga than I am! I'm actually currently rereading it to catch up to where I last was, then read all the chapters I missed. Eventually I'll find out what to do with Niccolo and Gear in this AU after I get to their introductions in the manga. I already have vague ideas to say the least, but I need the canon material to work off of first.