Note - gosh, it's been a while. I thought, in the years that have passed, that I had uploaded he remainder of this story. When I realised that I didn't had some wonderful comment about it, I decided to get it all online. I no longer publish on here, my work is all on A03 now and I no longer write SVU, but I put this story on there too and will cross post the final chapters so anyone still following this story will see the updates here. Sorry for the rather large delay - my writing has evolved so much since I wrote these stories - I am editing a little as I post. Thank you if you are still reading!
Six hours later.
Olivia fluttered her eyes open, her head moving instinctively but slowly towards the direction of the sound. It was comforting. She couldn't make out what it was at first, only that she felt instantly calmed by the low, almost constant sound coming from her right.
Talking. She was sure now, after listening for a while, that the sound was someone talking. She tried to open her eyes, but they felt heavily weighted and it proved impossible.
"So, I figure we can keep stalling them, then we can get you treated and out of here before anyone hauls me in and puts you back into some hospital,"
"El?" she said quietly, her eyes flickering open, closing repeatedly at the bright light in the room.
He quickly moved to the light switch, turning it off and finding a lamp beside her bed. He angled it carefully away from her and switched it on, the room then much more dimly lit.
"El, how bad is it? Do I….do I have brain damage?"
Elliot crossed the short distance toward her in a second, his hands finding her shoulders as he squeezed lightly, his face locking to hers with a warmth and concern that took over so suddenly, it surprised her.
"No baby, you're ok, but they did some major Surgery. It's just gonna take some time, but we're in this together. I'm not going anywhere and it's so good to see you."
Olivia closed her eyes as she felt a well of tears build up at his words, "I know you won't go anywhere El - but who the hell was I?"
His hand slid down her back and his other moved to settle at the back of her back, pulling her slightly closer but still ensuring he had eye contact.
"When you were in a coma - when they brought you out if it...you didn't know who I was - you were so confused. Then you just...you went into a seizure. Your eyes were so blank Liv, it scared the hell outta me. I thought you weren't gonna make it."
Pulling her all the way towards him, he kissed her head, his arms encircling her as he held her.
"You'll get through the recovery Liv, and you're you - you're not gonna lose yourself again."
Olivia pulled back, looking up at him.
"I wanna go home El," she whispered.
Elliot stroked her hair, his other hand settling on her back, hope growing at her words.
"I know I wanted to go back to the hospital, but It's the last place I wanna be now. I know that's not my life."
"Does it still feel real?" he asked, concerned for her answer.
"No. I'm...confused El, the things I thought happened...didn't. I remember who I am," she paused, her hand tentatively reaching up, touching his cheek lightly. "I remember who you are."
Elliot smiled as she dropped her hand to her side, and unable to fight his instinctive need to touch her, he put a hand on her shoulder, slowly running it down her arm until he reached her hand. His touch grounded her and he took her hand in his, she couldn't help but smile, however briefly.
It felt right. In that moment, with Elliot - and she hadn't felt that way for along time.
"With your original meds - we can get advice about your treatment, find you another hospital. I'm glad you don't wanna go back - you aren't gonna get better in that place, you need to be out here, with real people - people who care about you."
They spent the day browsing the internet on Elliot's phone, looking through newspapers together, occasionally glancing at the TV which was on in the background.
She had no doubt now that only weeks had passed, not years. That the people she was so sure were real, were creations of her mind. She felt scared by the realisation - the shock that her mind was capable of creating a fantasy world so detailed.
"El," she said.
Elliot frowned and edged closer to her, their thighs barely touching and his hand lightly skimming past hers.
"What is it baby?"
Elliot stopped talking as he noticed her break into a warm grin before ducking her head, her cheeks colouring with her unguarded reaction to his words.
"I...like it when you say that El," she said, as she continued looking at the newspaper. This time smiling as she returned her attention to the printed words. "I was just going to say this menu looks good...maybe they'll deliver to us."
"I dont think we'll get away with that but I'll go get take out and smuggle it in," he said.
Elliot returned his attention to his own paper and smiled, stealing a brief glance at her. The natural, spontaneity of the moment, shining from her.
"Thanks partner," she said.
He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her look so happy.
The next day Olivia woke unafraid, the window open and a gentle breeze filtering in behind the blind. She watched Elliot as he sat holding two cups of coffee and she smiled.
"Hey," she said.
"Good morning - smuggled in some coffee," he said.
"Thanks - El," she paused, then decided to get straight to the thoughts that had plagued her every time she woke in the night, before drifting back to sleep in the warmth of her partners arms, grateful to the nurse who had turned a blind eye to Elliot. "Do they have any orders to legally hold me? Huang said you couldn't take me out of the hospital - does that mean if I went back to the city they would take me in?"
Elliot sat down next to her on the bed, his hand taking hers, squeezing reassuringly. "They certified you, but it's nothing we can't work out - once they see you're ok, then they'll have no grounds to hold you there. They took another order to override your wishes to have me as your next of kin and the person to make decisions on your behalf - we need to get some legal advice - make sure they don't come put with any crap about taking you back in to assess you."
Olivia edged closer and leaned her head on his shoulder, her hair brushing lightly against his neck. Elliot slipped his arm around her, holding her close to him, relishing the feel of her and breathing her in.
"I take it Munch has kept quiet about this?" she asked.
"Yeah, he said he'll give me a heads up if anyone finds out and makes their way up here to see you."
"Thank him for me El."
"You can thank him yourself soon enough - once you're well enough to get out of here," he said.
"Let's call Cragen. Try to clear this mess up," she said. "Maybe...it would help to go the squad room..and my apartment soon."
Elliot felt hope rising within him at her words - she was coherent, thinking rationally and clearly, she was doing ok.
"Those are great ideas Liv, soon as we get the ok from the doctors we can do that - you could be out of here in a few days - but you have to go easy."
"I feel like I haven't seen Munch in a long time…" Olivia began uneasily.
Elliot instantly felt dread take hold of him at her words, shaking it off, he tried to remind himself that it was still very early and they had time, so much time now to help her recover.
"Liv, the last time you saw him was a week ago."
"I know, really El I do, don't worry - it's just that that other reality was so intense, so clear. It's like waking from an intense nightmare where everything feels like it happened to you...It...almost feels like it was months ago El, like I hadn't seen him since he retired," she said hesitantly.
"But he didn't Liv," Elliot said, taking her hands in his and looking into her eyes. "He hasn't retired - you'll be putting up with him for years yet."
Olivia looked down at her lap, focusing before meeting his eyes once more, "no, he didn't retire, he didn't." she paused taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly and evenly. "Cragen is still captain, you're my partner...it's..2011…"
Elliot smiled and leaned forward, his heart racing as he touched his lips lightly against her cheek. "We're gonna get through this Liv. I promise you."
Olivia sighed, looking away before glancing cautiously at Elliot.
"El….I miss Noah," she said quietly, her breath suddenly quickening at her admission, as she fought back a wave of emotion threatening to engulf her.
"Liv…" he said as he pulled her into his arms placing a kiss on her head. "I'm so sorry."
He held her until her breathing slowed and he realised she was falling back to sleep in his arms.
Settling back down onto the bed, he couldn't leave her. The need to hold her too intense. They lay together, his arms wrapped around her, the feel of her body against his, the steady rise and fall of her chest. Laying with her on the plain blue sheets of the hospital bed - but this time with no machines beeping, no urgency, just a hope for the future and conviction in his heart that he would do anything for her.
He had never felt more at peace.