Nothing to say here other than enjoy!
"Gemma" Paul sounded almost shell-shocked, "it's-"
He was cut off as Katie suddenly appeared from behind me, still looking gorgeous in her dress, a glass of wine in one hand, beer in the other.
"Excuse me, my bedroom is off limits to guests" was all she said as she walked between Jared and me and strutted over to Paul "here you go babe".
It was at this point my feet moved of their own accord, my need to use the toilet completely forgotten. In place of it, extreme nausea consumed me as I half stumbled back down the stairs. Of course, I had known exactly what was going on from the start, it was hardly rocket science. Put two sexually charged 20-somethings in a room full of alcohol, when they had had sex not too long ago? It was going to happen. But that still didn't stop the surge of upset and pain make its way through my chest, leaving me gasping as I used my small size to my advantage, weaving and ducking through the crowd at a rate I doubted even the wolves could keep up with, unless they wanted to cause a few broken bones along the way.
I need to put my sensible hat on here. Remind myself that Paul and I are nothing to each other. Yes, he has imprinted on me, but we had agreed nothing was going to happen. Hell, we literally said that a week ago! I have absolutely no reason to feel like this. I may find him attractive, but he clearly doesn't think the same of me. Plus he's going around shagging other girls – even if he did claim to feel anything for me, which he hasn't, someone like that can't be trusted with my heart.
I finally managed to make it out of the front door and onto the porch, which served as the smoking area. I almost gagged as the fumes invaded my lungs, immediately rushing further out and onto the drive, sucking in large quantities of clean air, goosebumps immediately raising all over my skin as I finally registered it is in fact freezing out here.
I heard heavy footsteps behind me and I didn't bother turning, instead taking a moment to compose myself as I addressed the individual who had followed.
"I'm fine, Jared. Go back inside, I'll be there in a minute" internally I cursed myself as my voice came out a little wobbly, whether that was just the alcohol I'd consumed or the hurt which still clawed at my chest, I'm not sure.
"It's me" the voice had me turning immediately, automatically straightening
"Oh" the word came out surprised, verging on confused "I just needed air, you should get back"
Paul stood just a few feet from me, shirt back on but unbuttoned, hands shoved deep into his jeans pocket. His own posture was slumped, as though submitting to me as I stared at him, unblinking. To my confusion I noted his face was contorted in stress, his eyebrows pulled together, uneven breaths shuddering from his body.
"That wasn't what it looked like" he was tripping over his own words, head bowed but eyes earnest "I had promised Katie I would unstick the lock on her window last time I was here, and I didn't want to get grease all over my shirt, or ever come back to this house. I know it sounds lame and was stupid of me but-"
"Paul" I cut him off, my voice surprisingly firm "it's hardly my business what you do."
"Of course it is, I would never-"
"Paul" I cut him off again, even firmer this time "stop. I don't want to hear it"
And truthfully, I don't. In my mind he can have all the justifications or stories in the world and I'm not entirely sure I would believe him. And if it is the first thing my mother always taught me, it's that I should always have faith in myself. As much as it hurts me to think about him with others, I couldn't start giving into a bond when I don't have full trust in him. When I don't know whether he even likes me, let alone would be loyal to me.
I'm not willing to take the chance, whether he has slept with her this evening or not.
"You have to believe me" he sounded absolutely crushed by this point, almost making me want to burst into tears myself. Almost making me want to throw myself into his arms in the hope that he would catch me.
But I couldn't.
"It's not about whether I believe you" I said instead, my voice empty, emotionless, before I began to walk back towards the house "I'm going to find Sam. I think it's time to go home"
It turns out I didn't even have to step foot back inside the house, given that Sam suddenly barrelled outside, quickly followed by Emily and Jared. I guess Jared must have gone back and filled them in. Given the thunderous look on Sam's face, I'm going to take a punt and say the information hasn't gone down well.
He said nothing as he passed me, only wrapping a protective arm around my shoulders and steered me towards his truck, opening the door for me as he practically deposited me on the front seat. Emily got in beside me wordlessly, wrapping her warm hand around mine.
Looking out of the slightly fogged up glass I watched as Sam approached Paul, who's head was now bowed so low his chin basically touched his chest. My own heart clenched as I watched him, especially as Sam appeared to exchange words with him, causing Paul to take an involuntary step back, eyes wide.
"Sam shouldn't be hard on him" I murmured to my friend "Paul can do as he likes. Besides, he said that nothing happened"
"It doesn't matter whether he did anything or not" she snapped protectively, sounding so unlike her usual gentle self "he still caused harm to an imprint. That doesn't sit well with any of the guys. Or me, for that matter"
"Em" I looked at her seriously, forcing a smile "I'm okay, it was a shock, but Paul is a free man, he can do whatever he likes"
"I'm afraid he gave up that right when he imprinted on you" she murmured "according to Sam, it is literally impossible to be with anyone else, sexually at least. So you have nothing to worry about there. It's just that to hurt an imprint, accidentally or not, is only causing even more harm to them. Trust me Sam would know…" she trailed off, raising a hand to her marred face.
I didn't say anything more, only rested my head on her shoulder with a sigh as Sam strode back to his truck, shutting the door with slightly more force than necessary.
"They're running home" he said gruffly, before turning on the engine.
We were all silent on the way home, too caught up in our own thoughts to bother starting up another conversation. It's awful to think that the night had all been going so well up until that moment. If I hadn't been such an idiot and jumped to such a conclusion, or even if I hadn't opened that stupid door, we could still be there having a good time.
Looking to the clock on the dashboard I blinked rapidly at the time. 1am. Hell, we had been there hours without even noticing – just how long were playing beer pong for? No wonder I feel like I've had a skin full.
"That Justin guy really took a shine to you" Emily eventually spoke, her cheek still resting on the top of my head where I rested against her "I think he tried to find you when you left the group"
"He was a nice bloke" I replied non-committedly "I think if the circumstances were different, I would have asked him out"
"Maybe you still should, that would get Paul to pull his finger outta his ass" Sam muttered, more to himself than either of us. Emily sent me an apologetic look, clearly trying to explain that Sam didn't mean his harsh words.
"It's fine, I'll talk to Paul when we get back. Let him know everything's good. You guys mind if I crash at yours?"
"You're always welcome silly"
"Thanks"
Upon getting back to Emily's we all clambered out of the truck, not at all surprised to see that the two boys had beaten us there. Both of them were sat silently on the steps leading up to the door, only Jared leaping up when we finally pulled up in front of the house.
"Hear him out Gem" he murmured on the way past, laying a hand on my shoulder "it really isn't what it seems"
Sam and Emily quickly made their way into the house, Sam deliberately keeping his imprint to his right, putting himself between her and Paul. I almost rolled my eyes at his antics but refrained myself. I don't think they give Paul's restraint enough credit. He may be the most volatile, but he is definitely learning.
And right now he looks like a lost puppy, staring down at his knees as though to meet my eyes would be the worst crime. Any kind of shock or upset over the situation was long gone however, on my part at least. It was silly of me to jump to the conclusions I did – plus it doesn't matter anyway. As long as he's happy, that's all I care about.
Woah, where did that thought come from? I have known the guy a week and we've had all of two conversations – let's take that back.
"Come inside. I'll make us some food" I instead said, not stopping as I walked into Emily's house, knowing damn well she wouldn't mind me using her kitchen. In fact, she will probably appear just long enough to demand something with bread to soak up all the alcohol, before expecting it brought to her in bed.
Only because she also knows that being the pushover I am, I'll do that. Although I suppose it is the least I can do considering its all her food, and I'm staying in her guest room.
"Stay there. I'll be back in a minute" was all I said, knowing he had followed me inside, before I turned and walked up the stairs. Firstly, I'm still absolutely desperate for that wee. Secondly, it's cold, even inside the house. I am going to need a jumper before I start having weird talks at half one in the morning.
As if on cue Emily stuck her head around the door, clearly halfway through taking her makeup off, given that she had mascara smeared all down her cheek .
"Food?" she looked at me pleadingly, holding out a thick jumper as though in payment "I like food. And Sam is doing a quick patrol to make sure all is quiet, so he can't get me food"
"Yeah yeah, I'll make you something" I grinned back at her, taking the jumper happily and padding off to the bathroom. I've got to say its not the best combination, a nice dress nearly completely covered with an oversized hoodie, but I'll take it. Quickly putting my hair into a haphazard French braid, and throwing on Emily's jumper I made my way downstairs, remembering to kick off my heels as I reached the bottom, huffing when I realised Paul still hadn't moved, nor looked me in the eye.
"Are you hungry?" I asked, before chuckling to myself, finishing under my breath "okay dumb question, you're always hungry"
This made him lift his gaze, a hopeful look on his face when he realised I wasn't going to kick up a fuss and throw him out in the cold.
"What are we making?" he made his way to the fridge, yanking it open and surveying what it contained with obvious interest, making me tut. Boys and their food.
"Something easy, I don't trust myself with much else right now. Way too much vodka" I spoke truthfully, the ease at which words came flying out of my mouth alerting me to the fact that despite feeling relatively okay, I am most definitely still on the tipsy side of life.
"Ah yes, beer pong" Paul shot me a crooked smile "I will cook then, just sit down. I don't want you hurting yourself in your enthusiasm. It'll have to be bacon sandwiches though, because that is about my limit in the kitchen"
"You were there?" the words came out before I had time to stop them. Sober me would hate myself for how interested in his whereabouts I sound "I thought you went off with Katie"
"No, I was there" he sounded nonchalant "I stood with Jared and watched for a while before getting a drink. At which point I was accosted and made to fix a window"
He looked at me sheepishly from where I now sat on the worktop, sipping water in an attempt to clear my head. Our gazes held for just a second before he looked down again, putting way too much bacon into a frying pan.
Okay then, he is actually talking to me. This is very different to the usual, stunted small talk we subject ourselves to. I would even go as far as saying that having a real conversation with him is quite…nice.
"Then you will have missed my spectacular win" I once again decided to avoid talking about the elephant in the room, deciding that catching Paul in such a chatty mood is not something I want to douse cold water over "maybe I should ditch law and take up a career in basketball"
"Sorry to break it to you but you're about a foot too short" he let out a chuckle, making my heart involuntarily stutter as the sound washed over me. Already, my alcohol riddled mind had decided his laugh was something I wanted to hear way more often "but I'm sorry I missed what I'm sure was a fine shot"
"It was!" I insisted "you saw the state of Emily, that was shamelessly my doing"
"I don't think that you're in a much better state" he eyed the now empty glass I held before taking it from me, filling it up with more water "you may have a headache tomorrow"
"You may be right. But it's Saturday, so I am hoping that Emily will feel equally awful and want to skip our run. I'd rather dedicate myself to TV watching"
"You'll be here all tomorrow then?" he asked, curiosity lacing his voice. At least I thought it did, unless that is my alcohol fuelled mind making things up that just aren't there
"Yep. And I'm hoping the weather doesn't let me down, I need it to rain so I feel less bad about doing nothing" at this point his eyes were fixated on me, never wavering as I sat in front of him, as though studying me, trying to see into my very soul.
Although having said that I could be making shit up again – for all I know he's only staring because I've got lipstick on my teeth.
"I don't think that's too much to ask for – this is La Push after all" he replied after a pause
"You're probably right. Movie day it is then. Also…Paul?"
"Yeah?"
"You're burning the bacon"
"Oh shit!"
So they're getting closer...but will it last?
Until next time!