Spiller was hesitant to approach Arrietty that afternoon. Ten years have passed since Sho said goodbye to Arrietty. Since then, she was avoidant of him, and he felt sad about it.
They only talk when needed, and they never tried to talk about that incident. Spiller wanted to have a deep conversation with Arrietty this time because he'a already getting uncomfortable with their situation. He has become softer over the years.
When he finally got the courage to speak to Arrietty, he went to her, who was busy getting their dried laundry. He took a deep sigh before opening his mouth.
"Arrietty..." Spiller in a calm voice.
Arrietty was surprised because her concentration was on her laundry. She looked at him and then asked.
"Spiller, what's up?"
"I... I'm... I don't know how to start, but I just want you to know I've been wanting to talk to you... about what happened ten years ago."
Spiller then was assessing Arrietty's reaction when he brought up the topic. Her blank expression was slowly filled with sadness, and seeing that slowly broke his heart.
"What about it?" Arrietty's voice became low and sad.
"I haven't said this to you back then, but I am sorry for what I did."
Arrietty was just looking at him sadly. After a few seconds, she smiled a little and tried to respond to what he said.
"Let's forget about it. I was the root cause of everything. If it wasn't because of my stubborness, I wouldn't be in that life-threatening situation, in the first place. If only I was able to cut my connection with Sh..."
Arrietty paused. She hasn't tried speaking Sho's name for many years, and it suddenly became very uncomfortable for her to say it.
"... with that boy right from the beginning, we would have been living in that place peacefully. We never had any problems in that house."
Spiller suddenly became really sad because after all, Arrietty's heart was still in Sho's place, despite the years of her living with the other Borrowers under the old mansion.
SILENCE.
Spiller didn't know what to respond because he was filled by that sadness in him.
"Spiller?"
His mind quickly came back to reality.
"Sorry. How are you feeling now, Arrietty?"
Arrietty just smiled sadly but still decided to repond.
"Do you want me to answer that honestly?"
He frowned but still answered her.
"Of course!"
"After how many years, I always find myself thinking about Sho every single day. And, it makes me sad to think he wanted to say goodbye that day. I still could not believe it."
Arrietty's eyes became teary. It was obvious she was still hurting.
Spiller, on the other hand, felt guilty and angry at the same time. But, he decided to respond to Arrietty.
"You should blame me for that."
Arrietty frowned and was confused. Spiller took that chance to explain.
"Before you met that boy that day, I kind of blackmailed him."
Arrietty was shocked and suddenly became interested in what he might say.
"I told him about what happened to you the night before that you were almost killed by a frog because you wanted to see him."
Tears from Arrietty's eyes ran down her cheeks. She couldn't believe Spiller would do this to her. She felt betrayed.
"I'm sorry. Yes, it was true what I said back then that your connection with that boy is dangerous for our kind, but the main reason I did that was to end your connection with that human."
"Why? Why did you need to go that far?"
Spiller couldn't find the words to answer Arrietty's question.
She continued to cry because of disappointment, and Spiller was still trying to find the words to respond.
"I had so much respect for you, Spiller, because you are capable of protecting the Borrowers. You're strong and kind. But, I just felt so betrayed with what you did."
Spiller's guilt deepened, but he tried to respond to her.
"Arrietty, I admit I was being selfish that time, and believe me, I'm sorry. I really am. I thought after that incident, you would..."
He paused because he was ashamed to tell the real reason.
"I would what?"
"You would... start opening your heart to me."
SILENCE. This time, it took longer. Both were assessing each other's emotions. Arrietty finally spoke.
"I'm sorry I couldn't do it. I tried, believe me. But, Sho's memories were just that strong I couldn't ignore them."
Ouch! It hurt. It was like he just got hit by a spear, piercing through his heart.
Right at that moment, Spiller thought of learning how to accept things - things he likes that are not meant for him.
"I'm sorry, Arrietty. I was not expecting it would turn out like this. You became so distant from me that it hurts."
"I couldn't help it. I can't stop my heart from choosing who it likes. All I know is that I love Sho. I kept thinking about him every day until now."
Spiller couldn't help it. His tears ran down his cheeks, too.
"I know. I can see that in your eyes."
SILENCE.
After a long silence, Spiller finally decided.
"I'll find him."
Arrietty frowned and was confused again, but this time, she felt hopeful and happy.
"What?"
"I'll find Sho for you."
"Why?"
"That's the only way I can make up for things. I want to experience again that same treatment you had with me before that incident ten years ago."
"No Spiller, you don't have to do this. Forget it. I'll be okay now that we've had this conversation. We'll have more talks starting now."
"No. I want to see you happy. I want to see that smile in you again."
She then felt Spiller's affection for her and felt sad at the same time because she can't accept him in her heart.
"Spiller, I..."
"Arrietty please, let me do this. I'm also doing this, so I can be at ease."
Arrietty was still hesitant.
"Are you sure you'll do this?"
"Absolutely."
"But, how will you find him? The world is so big it would be really difficult."
"Are you now questioning my hunting skills?" Spiller asked with humor.
Arrietty laughed a little.
"Like that. I want to see that in your face. It's been a long time."
Arrietty smiled at him whole-heartedly.
"I'll start in his house. Maybe I can find some clues there of where he is now."
"Spiller, this will be a huge job. Are you really sure you want to do it? I will help you."
"Arrietty!"
She was surprised by the sudden anger of Spiller.
"Look, it would be easy if I'll do it alone. I can concentrate even more, and the search will be easier. Just trust me!"
Arrietty released a deep sigh.
"Okay, I trust you. Please be careful."
"I will."
They stared at each other, and after a moment. Spiller decided to leave.
"I think I'll go now. We'll get ready soon for the hunting."
"Thank you, Spiller."
He only smiled at her and then walked away, with pain and worry in his heart.