Darkwing Duck: Shake, Rattle, and Mole
by Zebeckras

Act III, Chapter 1

Quick author notes: Sorry to anyone who saw the misfire version of this chapter. I went and tagged it in HTML, checked it, THEN uploaded it to Fanfic without knowing they'd changed their process and don't take tagged docs anymore so it looked like gibberish. ANYWAY fixed now, thank you to Guest for asking!

The city leaders had worked feverishly to make an evacuation option available for everyone, as quickly as possible. Even among those with transportation, the Audubon Bay Bridge was recognized to be unsafe during an earthquake and was discouraged for use - although the traffic along the bridge had been busy all day and was only now clearing.

Instead, the city had settled on air transport as the safest option, and had lined up a dozen large helicopter transports. Working in shifts, they had been steadily shipping citizens off the island and to the nearest safe zone for hours.

The officials working the evacuation stations were exhausted. It was 2:30 am and after fighting through panicking civilians for most of the night, strapping people down when needed, and working to ensure that no one was injured in the chaos or left behind in a rush, the second-to-last transport had taken off and they were down to the last group.

This group was quiet compared to the others; they were the stragglers, and they acted like it. Some of them hadn't wanted to go; part of the work of the evacuation teams was in rounding up the evacuees, even those who might want to stay, against their better interests. St. Canard's leadership would not be accused of leaving anyone to danger, but of course the responsibility and general onus fell onto the blue-collar workers to see those promises through (without much support from the bigwigs).

The citizens waiting in line had no fight left in them; they were exhausted too, dispirited and sad to be leaving, but scared. The fear was even more evident when a rumbling began to build beneath their feet; the waiting evacuees screamed, some shrinking to the ground and covering their heads, others looking around in a panic, and a few even trying to dart towards the final transport, not yet ready to load. The evacuation attendees had to physically hold them and push them back.

"You're safe," they said. "It's not big enough to register on the equipment."

It was hard to hear their reassurance over the building rumble, however; within a moment it was a roar, less like an earthquake and more like the sound of hundreds of feet marching down the street, and then it began to fade as suddenly as it had built.

Less than a minute, and it had ended, with no noticeable damage to the streets or properties. The citizens, and the attendees, looked at each other with shared confusion; that hadn't been like any of the other earthquakes. Now what was happening?

A few blocks away, the Thunderquack came to a rest just outside an alleyway (Launchpad having determined at nearly the last minute that the jet probably wouldn't fit in the alleyway itself; it had been a tense couple of minutes leading up to that decision), and its occupants sat in momentarily quiet.

Beth felt, in an uncertain kind of way, as if the silence was her fault; and if that was the case, it was up to her to break it. "I would say this has definitely been one of the most surreal nights of my life," she said; it wasn't premeditated, but that didn't mean it wasn't the absolute truth.

"I kinda liked it," Gosalyn said lightly, from next to her in the back seat.

"Sorry 'bout all this," Launchpad said, turning in his seat to face her. "We usually only fly above ground."

"I think that's pretty standard," Darkwing put in.

Launchpad looked a bit sheepish, and Beth felt she should say something reassuring. "Well, you did a good job... considering." That felt inadequate, but he beamed in response.

"Well!" Darkwing said, as if an important point had been made, and he turned to face her as well. "Here we are, as promised, and I think we saw the evacuation station just around the corner." He looked at Beth expectantly.

The look made her nervous, and she wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. She went with what felt most natural. "I- I'm sorry if I ever seemed like I doubted any of you! You promised and... here we are! I'm so relieved." As she fumbled to unstrap her seatbelt she said, "Do we even need to go to the evacuation station, though? I mean, since you've got this plane, Launchpad could probably just fly us out of here?" She looked up as the belt unsnapped, and realized everyone else was still strapped in. No one had unbuckled, nor did they make a move to do so.

Beth froze; part of her wondered if she should put the seatbelt back on, but another part of her had a strong feeling that she was expected to get out of the Thunderquack. She was terrified to ask and be told to leave. For a few moments she just sat in silence, staring uncertainly at Darkwing. Finally, since no one else was speaking up and she couldn't bear the silence, she said, "Um... you're... not coming?"

"We're not going," Darkwing answered. It was definitely, as he spoke it, an answer to her question.

Not that it made much sense. "Not going?" she asked, trying to figure out what he meant.

"We can't stop Moliarty if we evacuate the island," said Darkwing seriously - once again, sending chills down Beth's spine at both his dedication to doing the right thing, and the serious depth of his voice. "We're going back in once you're safe."

It made sense, but... Beth looked from Darkwing to Launchpad, who averted his eyes, and then to Gosalyn. She shrugged, smiling half-heartedly. Beth could only stammer. "B-but... I mean-"

Darkwing sighed. "Beth, nothing personal, but you were dragged into this without knowing what you were going into. You've done a great job holding up under circumstances most civilians would go to pieces over; now you can get to safety. We'll take it from here."

It was almost exactly what she'd worried about, except - he was right, and somehow he'd put it in a way that didn't embarrass her. Everything he'd just said was right, and she felt her chest relax, as if she was breathing out in relief after hours of holding her breath. Finally, it seemed, she had permission to go.

"I see," she said quietly. Relief or not, she still felt oddly alone in this, but certainly not envious of what Darkwing and the others were facing. She definitely preferred it this way. Just... it would be nice if she could be part of it without... being part of it. Oh, well.

She looked again between Gosalyn and Launchpad, then back to Darkwing, and suddenly she knew exactly what to say. "Thank you for all of this. I'm sorry to have been such a burden... Thank you for watching out for me." Launchpad kept his gaze down, but Darkwing met her eyes, his face stoic.

"Ms. Webfoot - Beth... That's our job," he said. He held out a hand, and she took it tentatively; he shook it. "Take care of yourself."

She tried to swallow down the lump in her throat. "I should be the one saying that to you," she said, trying to make light of it, but the comment hung in the air instead.

There was a whir, as the cockpit dome lifted itself; that was her cue, she realized, to exit the plane and go evacuate with everyone else and forget she'd even tried to be a part of this whole ridiculous effort to be someone she wasn't.

She should be happy. On some level, she was. She knew who she was; more than that, she knew who she wasn't, and she was definitely NOT a superhero, or a sidekick, or even anyone brave or forthcoming. She was normal, and normal people didn't get wrapped up in villainous plots to take over the city. Normal people stayed on the sidelines and made a run when things got hot; people like Darkwing Duck took care of things for normal people like her.

Darkwing pulled his hand gently from hers, and she let out her breath and looked between the three people watching her from their various seats inside a small personal jet painted to match the aesthetic of the superhero she'd fallen in love with. Not a bad ending to the evening, all things considered, she decided.

She stood up. Gosalyn, from the seat next to hers in back, said, "Thanks for getting us out of the house tonight, Beth."

Beth chuckled in embarrassment at that, but Gosalyn was clearly sincere. She hadn't answered yet when Launchpad said, "Hey, so... Okay if I look you up when this is done?"

"Of course," she said, but it occurred to her as she said it that she didn't even know where she would be when "this" was done... what if Darkwing lost? What if she never made it back to St. Canard?

Her heart feeling heavy, she made her way out of the plane and set her feet, for the first time in hours, on the asphalt of the surface world of St. Canard. It felt, she had to admit, wonderful. She turned back once more, and waved.

"Thank you again, Drake," she said; he turned her way and nodded, tossing in a wave. She felt oddly like the president of his fan club; she couldn't tell if there was any more personal recognition towards her than that.

But it was the most she would get, and now she had to move on; now she had to put this night behind her, and get back to her real life as normal; as one of the people who would evacuate, and let Darkwing do his job.

Beth walked cautiously up the street towards the nearby bright lights - which were surely the evacuation station - with an uncomfortable feeling of being simultaneously both abandoned and watched. The streets felt eerie; even for the middle of the night, it just felt wrong. There were too many lights, too many noises, too few people. Or too many? As she turned the corner and got closer to the evacuation site, the small crowd waiting there just increased her sense of wrongness.

She thought again about Launchpad, and seeing him again after "this is done", and then she thought - with an almost violent cringe - about how she'd fallen apart in front of him. She hadn't really thought until now, but she'd made a giant fool out of herself; it was surprising he'd even seemed to want to see her again. Maybe he was just saying it because he'd felt sorry for her. They were down there to fight crime, and she'd acted like a child - worse, in fact, because the actual child in their group had kept a completely cool head. Launchpad had been saddled with a screaming, crying, fit-throwing adult-infant. If she DID see him again, even for only two minutes, she would need to apologize. He must have the patience of a saint.

With another inner jolt, she realized he could be telling Gosalyn and Drake all about how she'd behaved, right this second. No - he'd never do that. Not Launchpad. Never. ...Would he? Maybe she should go back. Just to be sure. Maybe just to thank him, and - no.

With some effort, she kept herself walking steadily forward and was just nearing the evacuation station when she felt another rumbling of a new tremor. Or an aftershock? She wasn't sure, but the tremors were definitely real; they'd started lightly but were getting stronger and stronger. In a growing panic, she looked about irrationally for a doorway she could stand in; and there, not two blocks away, a giant pillbug scuttered down the street between two buildings. As it passed, the vibrations hit their peak and then began to quiet.

Beth stared.

She kept staring at where the bug had been, and seconds dragged on; then she shook herself out of it and renewed her walk to the evacuation station at a doubled pace.

As she approached, the a pair of men - evidently both officials - spotted her, and one hurried over to her, waving her forward. "C'mon, c'mon, you're just in time," he called, sounding impatient. "The transport's leaving in two minutes."

"Oh! Um - sorry," she said, and tried to step her pace up. Two minutes *felt* like a short time, but she probably could easily make it. The transport vehicle - a large helicopter, from the look of it - was setting on a makeshift tarmack next to a gas station. The doors were open and she could see a handful of people in it. "Are there many more people?" she asked as she caught up to the official.

"Not that we've been able to locate," he said, pushing at her back in a way she found uncomfortably insistent. "We think we've got everyone." He looked at her carefully. "Where did you come from, exactly?"

Beth found herself shrinking under his scrutiny, and she felt unaccountably guilty. "Oh, I... um, I-"

"Never mind, it's not important. Just get on the transport," he said, with another push to her back.

She was closing in on the transport when movement caught her eye to her left, and she froze, terrified of another giant pillbug. But it was something else that came into view, on a smooth, steady trajectory - no bug, but a sleek, shining *thing* that seemed to glide almost soundlessly over the cracked asphalt of the main street of St. Canard.

Beth shrank back towards the attendant, who had also come to a complete halt. "Wh-what is that?!" she said, as she took it in; she'd been caught between the idea of the giant insects, and the reality of what she was seeing, and it was still another moment before she realized the thing she was looking at wasn't alive. It was a kind of... vehicle? A heavily-armed one from the look of it.

The attendant sounded shaken. "I- I dunno, first earthquakes and then huge bugs and now this... We can't get out of here soon enough, you ask me."

"It's... is it a gun?" She said it, and realized it was. It trundled along, never altering its trajectory or seeming to notice them, and two things struck her at once: first, the weapon on top was a laser cannon, and second, it was unmanned. No one was driving it; there was no living creature anywhere on it. It was just a set of tank-like wheels topped with a shining, almost plastic-like laser cannon, and it was entirely uninterested in the almost-empty streets of St. Canard. It clearly had places to be.

Gosalyn's laser-tank. She knew without a doubt that was what this was, but it was definitely not for crowd control. For just a moment, she almost knew what it was for, but she couldn't grasp it. The laser-tank rumbled on into the night, not sparing a final glance back at Beth and the attendant as they gaped after it.

"Can't get out of here soon enough," the attendant repeated.

Beth agreed, heartily. But... It's not for crowd control, she thought again. That was important somehow. She couldn't shake that thought. The attendant beckoned her, then stepped towards her when she didn't immediately follow him.

"Coming?" he said, urgently.

"Um..." Beth dithered, a habit she wished she could break and probably never would, but just this once it seemed appropriate. Everything and everyone was telling her to evacuate - BUT, shouldn't she tell Drake that the laser wasn't for crowd control?

But that's not your problem, said a voice in her head that reminded her an awful lot of Henny Chickstein. She frowned a little, wanting to argue, but the voice said, You're not a super hero. He knows what he's doing and he told you to go. Just forget it and get your butt out of here!

Even a superhero couldn't know everything, though, right? What if he didn't find out about this until it was too late? What if she could make the difference by telling him now? The attendant was staring at her urgently, and reached for her arm to pull her forward. She stepped backward quickly. "Um - look, can I just - really quick can I go run and tell a friend-"

"Look, lady, there's no 'real quick' here. We're evacuating and that copter is leaving in 2 minutes." He jerked his thumb towards the helicopter transport. "I'd say it's going with or without you, but this is a mandatory evacuation, which means it's going WITH you."

"Of - of course," she said, trying to sound placating and agreeable, "just, I really need to tell someone-"

"Tell someone what?" He blinked, and his eyes narrowed. "Wait, who do you need to tell? Is there somebody else here? This is a mandatory evacuation, so-"

"I- no, um-"

"Lady, we don't have time for this." He turned and pointed again at the transport; the blades were already going. "That is the last copter out of St. Canard. I'm not missing it, you're not missing it, and it's leaving in 2-" He stopped, checked his watch, and corrected himself. "-ONE minute. And you're gonna be on it."

Beth swallowed, her heart in her throat. Despite feeling almost paralyzed, she nodded; or at least, her head jerked up and down in a semblance of the nod she was trying for. Stiffly, she said, "O-okay. You're right. We need to leave. I'll..." Then her eyes narrowed, and she pointed over the attendant's shoulder. "Um, wait, what about those guys?"

When he turned to look, she steeled herself and took off running in the opposite direction.

From a distance behind her, she heard him yell "HEY!" and footsteps started after her, but if she just kept running... if she didn't stop...

And what happened now, she didn't know. She'd already run more tonight than she'd ever thought she could. She was running away from the chance to get to safety, to something like a normal life. She didn't even know where she was going and she wasn't entirely sure WHY. Except that Drake might need her, and if anything happened to him...

She'd left the jet a few streets down and around a corner, and please please please let it still be there, she thought; her chest was tightening and her heart was thudding in her ears but she could still hear the footsteps of the evacuation attendant gaining on her and as she ran, something in her head clicked and she knew what she'd been seeing when that laser had gone by. She knew what she was going to tell Drake. IF she reached him...

She rounded the corner where she'd left the Thunderquack, her chest beginning to ache, and it was still there - thank everything on earth it was still there - and with as much breath as she had left, she shouted "DARKWING!"

The cockpit lid was still open and she saw Darkwing's, Drake's face turn to her, and she knew for sure that she was not making a huge mistake. He saw her, then looked behind her and the attendant must still have been chasing her, because he held out an arm to her. She reached, grabbing for him, and he grabbed and pulled, and she practically flew into the plane.

"GO!" he shouted to Launchpad, who looked startled; he pushed a pedal to the floor and the Thunderquack shot off at top speed. She wasn't sure later if it was even possible, but it felt like they just took off vertically, straight up. The cockpit slammed down as they rose, and Beth shut her eyes as her stomach dropped at the movement.

"What was that?! What happened?" There was a general cacophony from everyone at once, and Beth couldn't answer; her lungs were on fire and her arms and legs seemed to have had all the feeling go out of them. With an effort, Launchpad and Darkwing managed to push her towards the back seat, where Gosalyn made room for her to stretch out.

Darkwing, looking concerned, said, "Why was he chasing you?! Has Moliarty found sympathizers within the city?" At the same time, Launchpad was asking her if she was okay and Gosalyn was saying something about how much heavier she was than she looked, but Beth tuned them out and addressed Darkwing.

"No... No, it's just... mandatory... evacuation," she said, still panting. It was taking an embarrassingly long time for her breathing to slow, but at least her hearing wasn't still muffled by her heartbeat and a dull ringing in her head.

"I thought," said Darkwing, his eyes going slightly squinty as if something smelled ever so slightly off, "that we were all in agreement about you evacuating? For your own best interests?"

Nodding, Beth cleared her throat and said, "Yes - no, I... I just needed to - tell you what... I saw."

This got Darkwing's attention back on track. "What? What was it?"

"The tank - the laser tank, or... or cannon that Gosalyn saw."

"Oh." Darkwing's shoulders fell. "You saw that, huh?"

"Yes! It..." She took a deep breath, during which she noticed Darkwing looked decidedly uninterested. Emphatically as she could manage, she said, "It was moving, and it was automated-"

"I'm sure it was very exciting," Darkwing said, in a tone that Beth didn't want to describe as condescending, but she recognized that it was very, very similar.

She needed to make him understand. She looked helplessly at Gosalyn, who was watching her inquisitively, and felt bolstered. This was important, Drake just didn't realize it yet. She had to try harder, and be clear. "I, um, okay, I know this SOUNDS like-"

"Beth," said Gosalyn suddenly, "spit it out!"

"The tanks aren't for crowd control, they're remote-controlled and I think they're semi-amphibious!" Beth said abruptly, as if Gosalyn had smacked her on the back and loosened something stuck in her throat.

Gosalyn looked satisfied. "That always works with Honker," she said, sitting back in her seat and crossing her arms.

Launchpad and Darkwing both turned in their seats and looked at her. "How do you know they're not for crowd control?" Darkwing asked, and at the same moment, Launchpad said "What's semi-amphibious mean?"

"W-well..." Beth started, and the faintest crease appeared on Darkwing's brow between his eyes; she gulped and said hurriedly, "First of all, they're not manned, no one's driving them at all, so they must be controlled by remote and that means they must be going somewhere that the moles can't go because it's not like there aren't enough of them to spare to drive these things, right?

"Second, they don't need lasers to control crowds, there aren't any crowds left - everyone's gone but you three, and they have four of these things AND when I was going to the evacuation place I saw this big awful bug go by that looks like it could eat about a hundred people anyway, and never mind, but I'm just saying, they've got the BUGS to stamp out anyone left over but then the laser tanks are designed to be mobile and remote, and I was thinking where would they go? I mean, what could be out of reach for the moles but still need guns and big tank tracks, and then I realized that the lasers are waterproof and they're going to go into the Bay." She turned to Launchpad. "Semi-amphibious means a vehicle that can work on land OR in the water." He nodded, looking stunned, and she went on. "So, third, it's going to go underwater, but I didn't know WHY, and then I remembered Moliarty said he's-"

"He's going to steal St. Canard," Darkwing said quietly.

Beth's breath caught in her throat. She'd done it. He was on the same page. She'd explained it and he understood. She wanted to kiss him, she was so happy; and immediately, her heart sped up and her face went hot and she couldn't breathe, she was stifled with embarrassment. So, maybe NOT think about kissing Drake just now... She was still giddy over her success.

Darkwing took over the narrative now. "He wants to take the island out to sea, and he's got four aquatic lasers... Now that nearly everyone's off the surface, he's going to run those lasers to the base of the land mass and cut it clean off."

"Wait, wouldn't it sink?" Gosalyn put in, but Darkwing shrugged.

"Not if he's got enough power in the lasers to boost it until they get it to a spot where it can settle." Darkwing put a finger beneath his chin, thinking. "So this means our first move has to be to take those lasers out. Beth, the one you saw, was it close to the Bay?"

The fact that he was asking her a direct question, rather than bolstering her by making her feel worthwhile to their team, just increased the pressure of it instead. Distance was not one of Beth's strongest suits; she felt stymied, and disappointed in herself to flub this. "I, um, I don't know... I mean by now... maybe...?"

"Drat." Darkwing scowled and thought some more. "We'll have to assume at least one of them is in the water by now. What we need to do is find the controls and run off with them."

"Keen gear!" Gosalyn perked up at this. "There's four of us and probably four of the lasers - we could each get one, and run the moles down to kick them out of the city!"

Darkwing looked like he was undecided between discouraging this idea, or buying into it. Beth put in absently, "It won't work like that. They can't be using handheld controls, it's probably a computer console."

There was a brief pause, then Darkwing said, "Okay, you can't POSSIBLY know that."

Looking up in surprise, Beth said, "Huh? Why not?" She looked back and forth from Gosalyn to Darkwing. "It's pretty simple logic - they have to be able to see where they're going so each tank must have a camera, with a video feed on the controller. And they'd have to be able to coordinate the locations so they'd want to have all the tanks controlled from the same basic workstation, not spread between multiples." She looked again back and forth between them, deflating a little. "...Or is that wrong? Did I miss something really basic? I'm sorry, I'm new to this-"

"No, I think..." Darkwing sounded oddly vague and surprised. "I think you might have nailed it there."

"Didja figure out anything else?" Launchpad said excitedly, and Darkwing glared at him openly.

Beth realized suddenly that she was having a hard time looking directly at Launchpad; other than her explanation about semi-amphibious laser cannons, she hadn't looked straight at his face once since getting back into the plane. She forced herself to do so, and instantly felt almost overwhelming embarrassment as the memory of crying her eyes out in front of him hit her again. Instead of cringing, she forced a shrug. "I don't think so," she said apologetically. He didn't seem let down, but turned his attention contentedly back to flying the plane (Beth did not find this to be a bad thing).

"There goes the helicopter," said Gosalyn, peering out of the window on her side. Beth and Darkwing both crowded towards the window too, and watched the oversized helicopter transport take off from St. Canard.

"They said that's the last one," Beth said softly.

Sympathetically, Gosalyn said, "So you can't evacuate now?" Beth didn't answer.

After a pause, Launchpad began, "Could-" and Darkwing cut him off.

"We need to find Moliarty," he said. "Beth is just going to have to stick with us."

A curious sensation of both hot and cold filtered through Beth, starting from her stomach; fear and excitement, she recognized. She kept her eyes out the window, watching the transport as it became smaller and smaller. Even now it was a tiny pinprick of light, and soon it would be no different from a star on the horizon. "Stick with us." Terrifying as a thought - but Drake had said it, and that held meaning for her. For better or for worse, she was along for the full ride.

A/N: Woooo! First chapter released in 2021! I doubt anyone still reading from 2012 is still here but do you know what this means? It means I've been working on this particular fic for nearly 10 years! (It also means this damn thing doesn't work at all (pulls off mind-reading helmet; here endeth the Back to the Future reference for the night).)

So, this plot is super hard to write but I am trying, very hard to focus on it. it's really tough to fall out of fic writing for 8 years and then pick it up again so I really, really hope any readers can forgive clunkiness as I try to find my writing voice again (and try to remember the pacing and the plot I had constructed in my head 8 years ago). :) Thanks!

Also, when I was first writing this series, I would make mention in the notes of the various references I'd made to other media, since at that point I was making a lot. I'm not sure there are any in this chapter, although "this has been one of the most surreal nights of my life" was something that I heard Bono say at a live recording from a U2 concert and it stuck with me. The "what about those guys?" is a classic distraction bit but I will admit I was thinking a little bit of Marty McFly yelling "what the hell is THAT?!" and pointing over Biff's shoulder in BTTF. (Look! second BTTF reference in my notes! I could do more, believe me.) And "spit it out" has indeed been used on Honker Muddlefoot in "Darkwing Duck" although mainly by Darkwing himself, not Gos. But it does work, so it doesn't matter WHO did it before.

Please leave a review if you read! I really, really appreciate them!