Katniss

His hand blazed a trail down her spine from her shoulder blades to her tailbone leaving goosebumps in its wake. She shivered against him. They lay on their sides facing each other. Their limbs hopelessly intertwined. She moaned into his neck breathing in the scent that was so intrinsically him, spices, sandalwood soap and something else she couldn't quite identify. Something that belong just to him. Something Peeta. He responded to her moan by bucking against her. His hardness scorching against her belly. She hitched her thigh over his hip and the contact moved to the place she needed it most. A groan rumbled from deep in his chest. His hands found her hips and they began to move together. Their breaths mingling hot and fast. She wanted to lift her head from his neck and look at his face. She wanted to see his brows furrow and the clinch of his jaw as the sensations of pleasure swept over him, but she was unable to move her head. Her hot breath against him was stifling but the desire she felt coiling between her thighs took precedence in her mind. She ignored the humid air she was breathing, the suffocating nature of it and focused on the feel of him. How hard he was. The whimpers that escaped from his parted lips. She used her leg to pull him even closer, grinding her hips into his, chasing that sweet friction that would be her undoing. She was close. So close. Just a little bit more. His fingers pressed a delicious pain into her hip. His name escaped her lips in a gasping whisper on his neck.

"Peeta."

It was happening. This was finally happening again. She was going to shatter in his arms. She was going to…

Her eyes flew open. She was breathless. Panting. Sweaty. Alone. Her heart raced in her chest. The bed had never felt colder. She turned to her side and punched the pillow letting out a frustrated whine. She buried her face in its coolness. Her body still burning from the dream. She'd been having these dreams more frequently now since she and Peeta had started spending more time together. She could feel that he was being cautious with her, keeping their interactions from getting physical beyond the occasional hug or chaste kiss on the cheek or forehead. She was now 15 weeks pregnant and into her second trimester. Most of the side effects of early pregnancy had thankfully vanished. She was no longer nauseous. The overwhelming fatigue was gone too except on nights when she couldn't sleep. Nights when she would wake up frustrated, alone and confused in her own bed. The only side effect she had now was this wanting. This damned wanting and the heated slickness it left between her legs.

"It's time to tell him, Katniss," Peeta said as they sat together in the park under a clear, cool autumn morning sky. The trees around them burned with bright reds, yellows and oranges. Peeta sat with his back against one of the trees, a sketchbook and pencil in his hands. His eyes never left the sketch as he spoke.

"I know," she sighed leaning back on her elbows and looking up at the sky. Haymitch had cornered her at work just a few days before. He had mumbled something about her and "the boy" spending a lot of time together, about being careful and about not having enough time or energy to find a new chef. He wasn't the only one who had started to notice that Katniss and Peeta were spending a large amount of their free time together and, honestly, a large amount of their work time too. She saw the looks people were giving them. It wasn't like they were trying to hide anything. She just didn't like people in her business.

Wait until they find out about the baby.

She groaned and laid back fully on the grass pulling her scarf up over her mouth and throwing her forearm over her eyes. She heard Peeta put down his sketchbook. She felt the warmth of his body as he laid down next to her. So close but not touching. Her free hand glided from her abdomen to the grass. Their pinky's grazing. Neither moved.

"I know what you're thinking," he said softly.

She raised an eyebrow from beneath her arm. She was currently thinking about the dream she'd had that morning. About his fingers trailing down her body and about the electric current presently buzzing on the grass in the miniscule space between their fingers.

"Everyone is going to talk," he continued.

She exhaled loudly through her nose.

He shifted to his side. The electric current vanished. She pulled her arm away from her eyes and turned to look at him. His blue eyes were bright, but serious.

"Let them talk, Katniss. It doesn't matter what they say. This has nothing to do with them. This is just about you and me."

He reached out and grabbed her hand, brushing his thumb across her knuckles and sending a shiver through her.

"Haymitch is going to lose his shit," she said with a groan. "He already knows I'm barely holding it together with Prim and her school."

"If we wait much longer he's going to see it with his own eyes anyway. He'd probably appreciate it much more if he heard it directly from us beforehand."

She knew Peeta was right. He was almost always right, and she was almost always too stubborn to listen. At 15 weeks the pregnancy was just starting to show and she had so far been able to wear clothes that covered up her emerging bump. Thank goodness it was fall. In a few short weeks there would be no hiding the evidence any further.

"I know," she replied begrudgingly.

Peeta pushed himself up to a sitting position on the grass, dropping her hand. He pulled a few blades of grass from the ground. "Let him be angry," he said while tossing the grass to the side. "I'm so sick of letting other people dictate my life and make decisions for me. This is happening. The people in our lives, including Haymitch, are just going to have to deal with it."

She turned her eyes back towards the sky. He was right again, but she silently wished she could crawl into a cave with him and hide from the onslaught of drunken anger, worry and relentless teasing that she knew would be coming her way.

The Jeep rolled to a stop in front of Haymitch's house. Katniss wiped her clammy hands on the front of her jeans. She took a deep, calming breath in through her nose and out of her mouth. She knew she needed to reach for the door handle and get out of the car, but she was having a hard time willing her body to cooperate.

"Wow," Peeta muttered in a low voice from the driver's seat.

She understood his reaction. Haymitch's house was a shock to anyone who had never been there. While his drinking was no secret, Haymitch had always pulled himself together in public. He was clean and well dressed. He owned businesses and could converse with anyone on any topic. His house, however, was a complete and utter disaster. There were weeks old newspapers at the foot of his driveway in various stages of decomposition. The grass was severely overgrown and filled with weeds. Shutters hung haphazardly from their brackets. A garbage can sat precariously on the edge of the driveway. Its contents spilled over the side and littered the ground below. Small pieces of trash danced through the wind swirling, climbing and diving before ultimately finding a home in the overgrown front yard.

"I know. It's a shithole. Let's get this over with," she said, resignation tinting her voice.

Truthfully, she was glad they had waited as long as they did to tell Haymitch because if Peeta thought the outside was bad, she couldn't wait to see his reaction to the inside and she knew that her nausea wouldn't have allowed her to step foot in Haymitch's house a couple of weeks ago.

"Prepare yourself," she said as they climbed out of the car. "The inside is worse."

She turned and looked at Peeta, studying his reaction, expecting to find the same disgust that crossed everyone's face when they saw how Haymitch lived. His mouth and jaw were hard set in determination, but his eyes were soft and filled with compassion. She turned and headed up the driveway to the front door. Peeta followed close behind. She knocked several times with no response. After standing on the stoop for nearly five minutes, she tried the doorknob to find the door unlocked. She hesitantly swung it open calling out to Haymitch as she did. A musty, stale and acrid odor wafted outside, and she had to cover her mouth and nose with her arm to avoid gagging.

"Fuck, Katniss," Peeta muttered through the hand over his mouth. "I had no idea he was this bad. You and Prim lived here?"

She nodded, although it wasn't this bad when they lived with Haymitch mostly because Katniss made sure to clean and Haymitch made sure to keep his drinking and messy habits confined to his study.

"Most people don't have any idea about this," she snapped with more hostility than she had wanted. She was overprotective with Haymitch even though he was a pain in her ass. She was worried too. Very worried. He was drinking himself to death and she was scared of what it would mean to lose him. "He hides it well," she continued, her tone softer.

They ventured inside being careful to step over empty liquor bottles, food containers and numerous other pieces of trash that didn't belong in the hall or on the living room floor. They found Haymitch asleep – or more likely passed out – in a recliner. Katniss gently kicked his leg with the toe of her boot. He didn't move. She did it again and still nothing. She looked back at Peeta and he shrugged helplessly. She usually would leave Haymitch alone, especially on their day off, but it was almost noon and they were here and had stood in the stench of his house, so she wasn't going to leave until they had told him. She grabbed a half empty glass on the end table next to the chair and sniffed the contents. It didn't smell alcoholic and so she dump the liquid on Haymitch's head.

The older man jumped from the chair swinging his arms and cursing. He swiped at the beads of liquid running down his face and squinted his eyes at the pair.

"What the actual fuck!" He bellowed. "The restaurant better be burning to the ground or you better tell me someone has died to explain why you two idiots are standing in my living room on my day off trying to drown me!"

Katniss aimed her best scowl at him, but he scoffed at her and rolled his eyes. "Well…" he said, his eyes darting between the two of them.

"Sober up, Haymitch," Katniss replied evenly as she turned away from him and started back towards the front door grabbing Peeta's arm so he would follow her. "We'll be in the backyard. It reeks in here. Hire a damn housekeeper."

Haymitch barked out a laugh and reached for a bottle stuffed in the between the cushion and side of his chair. He followed the pair out the door. "Spill it," he said once they reached the cracked and dirty patio of his backyard.

Katniss felt Peeta tense beside her. He pulled in a deep breath readying himself to speak for both of them. Peeta's mouth opened and she could tell he had a long speech prepared, but Katniss knew Haymitch better and being straightforward and blunt was always the best approach with him.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted. She'd kept her voice steady and matter of fact. She tried hard to keep her face neutral as well.

Peeta's mouth clamped shut.

Haymitch's bloodshot eyes widened slightly, darting between both her and Peeta then widening even more as realization fell over him. He threw his hands up in the air and turned his back on them. He paced and muttered under his breath, taking gulps from the bottle in his hand. Then he stopped, released a long breath through his nose and scrubbed his free hand across his face and through his hair.

"Pregnant?" He asked disbelievingly.

She nodded.

"With a baby?"

"Yes, Haymitch, with a baby," she replied not able to hide the sarcastic tinge in her voice.

"And, I'm guessing you didn't bring the boy here just for moral support," Haymitch bit back with sarcasm of his own.

"No, it's uh…it's my baby too," Peeta said softly.

Did Katniss hear a trace of guilt or sadness in his voice? He definitely wasn't his typically confident self in this moment and that grated on her nerves. It had been his idea to do this today. In fact, this entire situation grated on her nerves.

"Look," she said, unable to mask the annoyance in her voice, "we came here to tell you face to face and now you know. So, we will get out of your hair and see you tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your bottle." She turned to leave stomping unnecessarily hard through the weeded overgrowth. She knew she was being childish, but her annoyance was morphing into anger at warp speed. She didn't even understand why she was getting angry.

"Woah, wait a minute sweetheart," Haymitch said, grabbing her arm to stop her. "You can't just drop a baby bomb on me and walk away. I have questions."

She was seething now. She had given up trying to control her emotions. Her body had been hijacked by hormones. Like an unstable volcano, she could feel herself milliseconds away from erupting. She kept her back to Haymitch and Peeta.

"How far along are you?" Haymitch asked.

When Katniss didn't speak or turn around, Peeta replied, "15 weeks."

She heard Haymitch sigh behind her as he let go of her arm and directed his questions at Peeta.

"I assume she's seen a doctor and everything?" Haymitch continued.

"Yeah," Peeta answered.

"So, what happens now? You two get married?"

"Oh, uh…no," Peeta said with a nervous laugh. "No, it's not like that. We're friends. Just friends."

Katniss craned her head over her shoulder to level Peeta with a stare, but he avoided her eyes, running his hands through his hair and scratching the back of his neck. His cheeks were blazing.

"Yes, Haymitch," she began, finally erupting, "we're friends. Just friends who made a stupid drunken mistake that I'm going to end up paying for and regretting for the rest of my life!"

Peeta flinched. His hands balled into fists. His mouth set into a hard line and his eyes burned into the pavement at his feet. She'd wounded him. Her inexplicable fury had pushed her too far and made her say something she didn't really mean. Something that was too late to take back. She should've apologize, but her stubborn pride clamped her mouth closed. Peeta relaxed his fists and flexed his fingers. He took the keys out of his pocket and murmured that he would be in the car when she was ready to leave. Then he rounded the side of the house and was gone.

Haymitch clapped sardonically and cackled at her. "Well done, sweetheart. Let's hope he doesn't throw a chair through my goddamn window too!"

Katniss jutted here chin in defiance, meeting his steely gaze with her own.

"Oh, go ahead and glare at me all you want," Haymitch chided, "but you better listen and listen good. You have decided to have a baby with that boy and whether or not that is a regret or a mistake, it is a choice you have chosen to make. Your sourpuss scowl and nasty attitude aren't doing anything but fucking with his life, the baby's life and my life. Get your shit together and act like a damn adult!"

She could feel her anger deflating under his steady gaze and reprimand. She hated to admit it – and would never admit it to his face – but, Haymitch wasn't wrong. She was being obstinate for the sake of being obstinate and her anger was unfounded. Peeta had done nothing to warrant her attack. Their friendship had been mutually agreed upon and they certainly had never spoken of any kind of commitment like marriage. So, why did his comment still make her feel sick to her stomach?

"Here," she grumbled, reaching into her pocket and thrusting an ultrasound photo into Haymitch's hands. She turned to leave before he could say anything else.

She found Peeta leaning against his Jeep scrolling through the phone in his hand. As she approached him, he shoved the phone back into his pocket and slide behind the driver's seat without saying a word. She had wanted to apologize and explain her outburst, but her thoughts were muddled, and her tongue tied. With a heavy sigh she sat in the passenger seat and they drove back to her apartment in silence.

The chilly wind whipped across her face sending a shiver through her. She dipped further into her scarf and stuffed her hands into her hoodie pocket. She picked up her pace listening to the cadence of her footsteps as the soles of her shoes met the pavement. After Peeta had dropped her off with an awkward and stilted goodbye, she had decided she wasn't ready to go home yet. She needed to walk off this frustration, anxiety and guilt.

She headed down a small alley in the opposite direction of her apartment building. She let her feet carry her, not really paying attention to how the scenery changed around her. The foreboding presence of tall buildings gave way to grassy knolls and wooden fences. Her fingers skimmed across fence posts. Her eyes focused on the ground in front of her. Her thoughts tripping over themselves before finally landing on Peeta. She felt like she was stumbling blindly when it came to him. She had no idea what she was doing. Every time it felt like they were getting closer, she would push him away. He kept her at an arms distance now and she knew it was because he was protecting himself from being hurt by her. The nature of their relationship - friendship - was tenuous. It was new and they hadn't found their footing with each other yet. She didn't know when that would come or if it would come, but she wasn't intentionally trying to hurt him. She felt like an asshole. She needed to apologize, to explain that she didn't really think that the baby was a mistake or a regret she would have to live with. She had fears, of course, but ultimately, she chose to have this baby because she wanted it.

Her feet stilled. She buried her nose, red from the cold, into her scarf. She took in her surroundings. She had walked a lot farther and for a lot longer than she'd realized. She was on the outskirts of town where city buildings and neat rows of residential houses gave way to open fields and vast countryside. The sun was high in the sky and now that she was standing still, her legs felt heavy and tired. She ducked under the slats of a split rail fence and headed for a grouping of trees in the distance. She didn't know who owned this field and she hoped they would forgive her trespassing. She climbed up a few branches of the nearest tree and found a limb large enough to sit comfortably. She scoffed as she thought of the lecture Peeta would give her for climbing the tree in "her condition." She stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned into the massive trunk. Her hands, warm inside her hoodie pocket, settled over her small bump.

This tree, this field and the cold, crisp air felt like home. Not her small apartment, or Haymitch's house, but the home she had shared with Prim and her parents. The home with green grass, a tire swing and ample forested acreage for her to run, play and learn how to hunt. She thought of the tiny bow and arrow her father had made her. It was just a toy, but she'd thought it was real. She would follow him out as they silently trekked through the woods in the early mornings. She could still feel his large hands over her small ones as he taught her how to shoot. She slumped against the tree trunk, closing her eyes and clinging to the distant memories as quiet tears fell.

She awoke with a start as one of her legs slipped from the tree branch. She blinked through groggy, sleep filled eyes assessing her precarious position on the limb. She must have fallen asleep. The sun was sinking low in the sky and her legs and ears were so cold they felt numb. She hurriedly climbed down from the tree and hiked back to the road. Her quick pace warmed her legs and she adjusted the hood of her shirt to cover her ears. She knew she would be pushing it to get back to her apartment before dark. The pressure on her bladder wouldn't allow her to run, so she took a quicker path home then the one that had led her to the field. She cut through yards and around buildings until she found herself in front of the Chinese restaurant on the lower level of her building. The blinds were drawn, the doors locked and the neon Open sign was dark. She looked around questioningly. The restaurant seemed like it was always open and usually fairly busy, so she didn't understand how it would unexpectedly close. She reasoned that it was possible it had been closed for several days. She had been so preoccupied with everything going on in her life that she didn't take notice. She was cold and hungry. She had been thinking of greasy eggrolls all the way home. She heaved a sigh and continued around to the apartment entrance. She trudged up the stairs letting her footfalls echo heavily in the dimly lit hallway. She thought about ordering a pizza but didn't know if she could wait the hour or more it would take to be delivered. Her mind was so engrossed with thoughts of food that she didn't see the notice taped to her door until she was already standing in her kitchen.

OFFICIAL NOTICE

Re: All building tenants

Please be advised that as of November 1, this building and all commercial and residential units within the building will be the property of Snow Enterprises. This notice is to make all tenants aware that you have 30 days from the date of this letter to vacate the premises. The sale of the building has rendered all current rental contracts null and void. If you have not vacated the premises within the allotted time frame, formal police assisted eviction will take place. Any surplus balance in rents at the time of departure will be refunded within 5 business days. Any questions regarding this notice can be directed to our legal department at the number listed below.

Cordially,

C. Snow

Snow Enterprises

Katniss balled the letter in her fist and slammed her door. She looked around at her tiny apartment. It wasn't much, but it was home. The original owners of the building, the Sae's, were kind, generous people. They had given Katniss a chance renting her the apartment even though she was barely 18 with little to no money at the time. They had also never raised her rent in the 6 years she had lived there making it truly one of the only places in town she could afford. She sunk down against her refrigerator, her hunger all but forgotten. What was she going to do now? She could move back in with Haymitch, but the thought turned her stomach. She couldn't imagine raising a baby there and having to take care of Haymitch as well. She could get another job, but who would hire her knowing full well that she would only be able to solidly work for the next 20 weeks or so.

The more she thought about it the more frustrated and angry she became. Who was this Snow person? Who would be so cruel as to kick good people out on the street? She imagined him getting some sick, twisted pleasure in typing up those letters knowing full well it was going to ruin people's lives.

Asshole.

She grabbed her phone to order the pizza she had wanted earlier. She knew she shouldn't spend the money, but she wanted at least one thing to go right today and that one thing would be her getting pizza. She blanched when she saw the notifications on the screen. Six texts and three missed calls, all from Peeta. She'd forgotten that she had put her phone on silent when they had gotten to Haymitch's house. She opened the phone to read the texts:

12:47pm: I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. Can we talk?

He's sorry? Guilt quickly pooled in her stomach. She had been the one who had treated him like dirt and he was apologizing. She sighed deeply and continued to read:

2:03pm: I know you're mad, but I need to talk to you.

3:32pm: Please, Katniss.

4:17pm: Can you at least let me know that you're ok?

5:04pm: I'm starting to get worried.

6:56pm: Seriously, Katniss. Please answer!

Pinned to the ground with overwhelming remorse, she quickly typed out a response to his last text but thought better of it and called him instead.

"Katniss?" Peeta's harried voice said. "Are you okay? I'm freaking out over here. I was just about to start calling the police and hospitals."

Before she could stop herself, she started to cry. Damn these pregnancy hormones. It was like her emotions had a mind of their own and she was powerless to stop them.

"Where are you?" Peeta's asked, his voice frantic.

"I'm…home," she blubbered incoherently through the onslaught of tears. She was now in the throes of a full-blown meltdown.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

The line went dead. She dropped the phone to the ground and leaned her head back against the refrigerator. The tears continued to fall even as she willed them to stop. The day had been so emotionally draining and she assumed this was her pregnant body's way of dealing with it. Non-pregnant Katniss would have stomped through town with a scowl plastered on her face demanding to speak to Snow himself. Pregnant Katniss was reduced to a puddle of tears on the kitchen floor. She didn't know how she was going to make it through the remaining weeks with her dignity still intact.

Before she knew it, her door was being thrown open and a very frazzled Peeta was crouched down beside her. His hands hovered over her unsure where to go or what to do.

"Katniss, what happened? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen with the baby?" He asked softly, his hands finally resting on the sides of her face.

She couldn't look at him. She was so embarrassed. Embarrassed for her behavior that morning, embarrassed that she was unable to formulate the words to give him the proper apology that he deserved and embarrassed that he was seeing her – yet again – as an unstable, emotional wreck. She kept her eyes trained on the front of his shirt. He had a small stain near one of the buttons. She wondered if he realized it was there. She focused on his even breaths as they brushed gently against her cheek.

"Katniss, please," he begged.

She raised her hand, the letter from Snow still clutched in her fist. Peeta looked down at it and let go of her face. She raised her head to watch him. He plucked the letter from her grasp and lowered himself the rest of the way to the floor as he read it. His eyebrows pinched together in confusion. He opened and shut his mouth several times before dropping his hands into his lap. Katniss wiped the tears from her face. Her crying had ebbed and she took a deep breath turning to meet Peeta's gaze.

"You scared the shit out of me," he began quietly, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. "You can't do that. I lo—I was worried about you." He let the letter fall to the floor as he scrubbed his hands through his hair making it stand on end.

"I know. I'm sorry," she said with a hiccup that still lingered from her tears. "I'm sorry about all of it. Everything about today. The way I treated you, vanishing, worrying you and then crying like an escaped mental patient."

He smirked at her last remark and waved his hand with a shrug dismissing it. "S'ok."

She was relieved that he wasn't angry with her, but then she thought about how easily he had dismissed her behavior. How conditioned he had become to being treated poorly that he didn't think he deserved an apology. Her chest tightened.

"Peeta, it's not okay. I treated you terribly. I said hurtful things that I didn't mean. I'm scared shitless, but I don't regret this and I don't regret you."

He stared contemplatively towards her living room. A small, shy, appreciative smile graced his lips. Looking at him sitting in her kitchen, his cheeks flushed, his hair a mess, Katniss could feel any anger she had left towards him being chipped away. He turned his eyes to hers. The blue sparkling even in the dim lighting. He hesitated for a beat before speaking again.

"You should move in with me."