2020 is over, and I know for myself and a lot of others it was one hell of a year.
I lost a lot of things, was unemployed for a long time, and my mental health spiraled quite a bit. I did manage to find some good last year, a part time job, and even wound up getting married. I hope that for you, you were able to find something good to keep you going, something that made you smile.
I apologize for my long absence with this story, it's been difficult to find the desire to write the way I used to and I struggled with coming back. This chapter has been in my ~mind palace~ for some time now, and I finally decided to get it out into the world. I wanted to explore what it would be like for someone who had lost someone dear to them to be met with a look alike, while they were going through changes of their own and learning how to move on. It has been quite some time since I've had the desire to play fallout 4, so I may have forgotten some aspects of the game, but I also don't want it to be a complete recreation. It's not the best, and I apologize if my style of writing has changed, or become unbearable. But, I hope that with everything going on, you're at least able to lose yourself for a little while and enjoy this chapter.
This is my thanks for those of you that continued to read, favorite, review, and alert for this story. I wanted to give you something to smile about, even if it's just for a little while.
Thank you for your support.
The sun was shining so brightly that Nora had to squint her eyes to peer out into the freshly mowed yard. The patio chair under her creaked, and she could feel a distinct pain in her butt from sitting for too long on the uncushioned plastic. The sound of a car door shutting caused her to peer back into the window of her modest home. Her husband must have returned from work, finally. She smiled to herself as she closed the book in her hands, resting it on the arm of the patio chair. A nice warm breeze blew some of her hair out of its meticulous bun, as she hoisted her tired butt off the chair slowly. She hadn't even thought to get dinner started, too lost in her book and the warmness of the summer breeze. Nate would understand, he didn't usually get mad at much.
She sighed to herself and stretched once more in the sunlight, enjoying the way the warmth spread over her body. She could hear the front door open and close, deciding that now would be a good time to get back inside to greet her husband. As she walked through the threshold of the sliding door to the backyard, she caught sight of her husband taking off his shoes and placing them next to the door.
"Hey" He whispered with a smile, and she felt herself smiling at him too. Every time she saw him come through that door, he would smile at her, and all her worries about the day would wash away.
"Hey yourself." She felt herself responding, walking over towards him and lifting herself on to her toes so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Nate breathed out a laugh and returned the hug, wrapping his own strong arms around her midsection. Nora could get lost in his hugs, it was like he was squeezing all of her frazzled pieces back together.
They parted, and Nate started to walk into the kitchen, already going towards the fridge. "I forgot to make dinner..." Nora admitted.
"That's fine, we can figure something out. At least tell me you ate lunch this time?" Nate quipped, peering his head from around the opened fridge door. Leave it to him to worry about her eating again. Sometimes it just slipped her mind, but today in particular she wasn't feeling herself. She had been mindlessly searching the paper for a job for herself for the last few weeks. Being a new graduate was already difficult, but the job market was taking its toll. There wasn't much out there in the way of work, and Nora was feeling particularly discouraged that she couldn't help pull her own weight with the finances.
"I had something light." She responded, peering down at her nails as she leaned on the counter.
"I hope it was more than a sandwich this time."
She nodded her head at him. He didn't need to know the specifics, or that she wasn't feeling particularly herself today. Eating was the last thing on her mind, which was why she instead lost herself in one of her favorite stories. Instead of answering him outright, Nora decided to switch the subject, "how was work?" she found herself asking, going around the counter to sit at one of the stools in their kitchen.
That was precisely the right question to ask, to get him to forget, and she watched as her husband started to take food out of the fridge, placing it on the counter for preparation as he regaled her with a story about his troublesome coworker. She did enjoy watching him cook, and the way he would animatedly move his arms when got himself going on a subject. Nate enjoyed being a manager some days, but other times he had more bad experiences than good ones. Today must have been a troublesome day, because he was particularly animated while cutting up vegetables. Nora found herself getting lost in the story, slowly losing focus on what he was saying, until everything around her was fuzzy.
Her head began to throb relentlessly.
"You need to wake up." Nate was staring at her, the knife in his hand poised and pointed at her face.
Her head kept pounding. Why was he pointing that at her so threateningly? "Why are you saying that?" She asked, groping her head, she couldn't quite make out his voice now and it sounded as if he was talking through a pillow - muffled.
"Nora." Again, it was muffled and disturbed. It wasn't the voice she was used to hearing. It wasn't Nate.
"I said GET UP!" The not-husband voice yelled, this time it was piercing in her ear, she could feel herself shuddering and shut her eyes from the pain.
[ x ]
Nora shot up from the cot she was laying on, her breath coming out in a ragged huff. It was almost like she was taking a breath after being underwater for a few minutes. She felt her eyes open, but was still somewhat in a daze. The area around her was pitch black and the pain behind her eyes caused her to grip her head tightly. Even though she knew her eyes were open, felt her lids move as she blinked a few times, she couldn't see anything around her. Was she still dreaming? Why was Nate screaming at her so loudly in her head? She felt like she had been hit by a truck. There was an overwhelming feeling of wanting to throw up and her stomach felt like it was doing somersaults.
"You're up." Someone whispered to her left, and Nora found herself whipping her head over towards the sound. This was a mistake, as immediately the nausea she felt increased two fold, and she had to swallow down the bile in her throat to keep herself from throwing anything up.
"Easy." They again whispered, and she could hear footsteps to her left, but her head was still killing her, and she couldn't figure out how to open her eyes without getting dizzy. She took a deep breath through her nose to try and clear her head, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose to try and focus. She had no idea what was going on, but needed to get herself back into control. Another deep breath and slowly she opened up her eyes. It was either very dark out, or there was little to no light in the way of this room, which set her on edge. The figure in her periphery came closer, standing next to her prone form. Her eyes drifted to their hidden features. For a second she was confused - was it Nate she was staring at? Had she dreamt up that entire world ending scenario, and was now just waking up from a nightmare? Immediately she clung to that notion, forgetting the stinging behind her eyes. She willed it to be true, because she wanted it to be true. Nora rubbed at her tired eyes, looking over the figure quickly. Dark hair, kind eyes, the ghost of a five o'clock shadow - it was Nate! Immediately she was shaken with the realization that everything was just a nightmare, she was safe here, and Nate was back. She must have fallen asleep weird, perhaps she drank too much or something, or maybe their bedroom was just entirely too dark. A thousand different scenarios of explanation flitted through her mind, but she found that she didn't care about any of them. She didn't want to think anymore, her head hurt too much.
"It's you." She breathed, and immediately latched herself onto the figure, jumping up from her cot and wrapping her arms around their midsection. She squeezed onto them tightly. The figure stiffened and did not return the gesture, which felt odd at first, but perhaps Nate was just taken back by her forwardness with affection. He did that sometimes, and she couldn't fault him for it, but this time she needed to feel something. "I had the worst dream" she started, feeling the tears well up behind her eyes. She wanted to tell him about everything. About waking up and seeing him get shot, about waking up in a world that was destroyed, about their son being taken… She nuzzled herself deeper into his chest and waited for him to wrap her in his big strong arms like she needed, but it never came.
"Nora?" Someone asked from her right, loud enough that it broke her out of her thoughts. This was a familiar voice, though she couldn't place her finger on where she had heard it last. Something about it tickled her mind, but she was so desperate for Nate to hug her back that she decided to ignore it. She breathed deeply, expecting to smell the mint and pine of Nate's soap and get lost in it, but… it wasn't what she smelled. It was something different, something more stale and earthy. It smelled like metal, coppery, it wasn't right.
All of the odd feelings came to the surface at the same time, like clock hands striking together on the hour and letting out a loud noise within her. There was a weird tingling in the pit of her stomach. She remembered the ghoul smacking her into the car, and getting hit in the head… a firefight, MacCready. She inhaled sharply through her nose, pulling back from the figure she had wrapped herself around, and this time willed her eyes to adjust to the lighting in the room. Now that the other figure was standing in a lit doorway, she was able to realize there was some lighting, just very dull. Perhaps the darkness was to not aggravate her head, but she needed light now to see what the hell was going on. Her eyes quickly raked over the face - while there were similarities to her husband, the stranger had brown eyes, not green, and the smile lines around his mouth and eyes were absent or altogether different than what she had been expecting. He had scars. She blinked, furrowed her brow, trying to process this. A few seconds ticked by while her brain began to process what was happening, while still recovering from the blows she had been dealt. It finally caught up after a few seconds.
This wasn't Nate. This wasn't her old bedroom. This was a dusty, ratty old building with the blinds drawn. And while the stranger in her arms was built remarkably like her husband, he was not the man she was expecting.
Immediately, Nora felt her stomach tighten, and she shrieked at the top of her lungs. While trying to rid herself of the weird uncomfortable feeling of throwing herself at a stranger, she threw herself back, and wound up tripping herself up in the covers she had hastily thrown off to the floor trying to get closer to him. This, in turn, caused her to start to fall backwards and Nora found herself again smacking her head against a hard object.
She yelped, clutching at her head and feeling tears burning her eyes. What the fuck was going on? Who was that guy? Why did she keep getting her brain knocked around?!
"Jeez - Nora! Are you okay?!" Someone rushed over towards her, holding onto her shoulders while simultaneously trying to detangle the sheets from her ankles.
"I'll go get Scribe Haylen." A deeper voice rumbled, swiftly walking out of the room.
Nora let the tears fall this time, she was so confused and in so much pain that she didn't much care if they fell anymore. "What the fuck is going on?" She heard herself mutter, still clutching at the pain in her head. How could everything have felt so… right one minute, and so wrong the next? There was an ache in her heart. She had so desperately been ready to accept the fact that Nate was alive and well, even though she knew there was no way that was possible. She saw him die. She sees it over and over again in her dreams. The logical part of her brain must've been knocked loose when she got knocked out. Typically, the logic is what brings her a sense of control when her feelings get too much. She is able to compartmentalize, to rationalize and explain away, but without it the feelings in her heart took hold. She wanted to believe he was still alive, she wanted to feel one last hug, and now all she could feel was shame. Nora tried to shut her eyes, partially to right her dizziness, and partially to try and stop the tears that were falling. She wanted to sink into the ground and never be seen again.
"Well, you hit your head pretty hard a few times." It was MacCready. Her brain fog was lifting now. She remembered that voice. "After the last time… er… I mean, the time before just now, you blacked out."
So three times her head was hit. Maybe that was an excuse enough that she had lost a bit of her marbles and found herself in this predicament. She must've had a brief period of memory loss then, or maybe it was a slight concussion that caused her to act that way. Either scenario wasn't great, but at least it would give her some excuse. She had never reacted that way before.
She sighed, opening up her eyes and glancing over at MacCready. He was still holding onto her shoulders tightly, but upon seeing her stare at him, he dropped his arms immediately. Almost like he was embarrassed he was gripping onto her, or trying to give her some space, she wasn't sure.
"We took down all the ghouls right before you blacked out. I guess there was an outfit of Brotherhood soldiers pinned down here, but once you went down we all went inside to see if we could get you to wake up. There was another soldier who got wounded too. It's been a few hours of waiting, but the scribe told me I should let you sleep it off." MacCready whispered, looking over Nora's features to see if there was any bruising or marks, any bleeding on the back of her head. They had bandaged her up a little bit to stop the bleeding after she passed out. He looked towards the back of the bandage, where the other wound was still healing, to see that it looked to be a little wet with blood. She must've opened up the wound again. He felt bad that his lapse in judgment had caused the first hit to her head, but the second time was due to her being reckless. Now she had smacked her head pretty good again, which would not bode well for her healing. He was worried she had suffered a major concussion, or worse. The fact that she was bleeding wasn't great, but he remembered that any head injury, no matter how small, typically bled a lot. That fact gave him some relief, but he hadn't expected her to not know what was going on. Wasn't there something bad about memory loss from a head injury? He didn't know a ton about healing, or head injuries, to be honest. Hell, nine times out of ten he would just stick a stimpak wherever it needed to go and hope for the best. Usually it seemed to work, or things would right themselves eventually. He never really got injured enough to warrant any serious medical treatment, thankfully. Now though, with the way Nora was folding in on herself and shaking, he was wishing he knew a bit more than your basic field medicine. Maybe he shouldn't have listened to the Brotherhood scribe after all…
He wasn't going to lie, it was extremely awkward having just finished fighting off that horde, and then having Nora collapse on him. The sheer panic he felt at watching her collapse outweighed his wariness of the soldiers around him, and he was desperate to get her someplace safe while she recovered. The Brotherhood weren't exactly his favorite people in the world, but they were grateful for the help and at least let him carry her into the abandoned building to see if they could heal her up. They had lost a few of their comrades, so he felt bad taking up space, but seeing Nora so out of it, and bleeding from the back of her head, caused him to forget his feelings and focus on getting her awake. It was hard to assess her for damage since she was knocked out, but they were able to stop the bleeding and bandage her head up a bit. The scribe had told him to place her in one of the rooms with the blinds drawn, this way her head wouldn't explode too much when she woke herself up. Something about the brain needing time to heal on its own. He wasn't a medical expert, again, but the scribe seemed to know what she was talking about. So against his better judgement he followed her advice. He just... Didn't expect Nora to wake herself up like that. Seeing her wrapped up with that paladin gave him a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. Did she know him or something? Was this a friend? He had never seen her so desperately gripping onto someone. It was almost like he was walking in on something intimate. Something he should not have been seeing. Granted, he knew Nora had known quite a bit of people out here in the Wasteland, had seen her hug her friends from time to time when they went back to settlements, Goodneighbor, or even Diamond City, but… this felt… different. At first he was nervous to say anything, was going to walk out of the room and pretend like he hadn't seen anything for her privacy, but seeing how uncomfortable the paladin was made him second guess himself. That's when he decided to make his presence known.
"I heard some commotion in here, so I decided to check it out to see if you had woken up, but then I saw you… and uh.." MacCready coughed, uncomfortable with continuing. He fingered the brim of his hat, trying to find the right words to use. He wasn't sure who this person was to Nora, and at first was inclined to believe they had met before, but after seeing her screech like that he was now re-evaluating everything he had seen. "Do you know him?" He decided to ask, unsure how to phrase it but wanting to get it out there anyway - uncomfortable with the fact that he was uncomfortable with what he saw.
Nora sighed, rubbed at her head, and started to sob. Her shoulders shook and she collapsed even more in on herself, falling onto her rear and closing her arms around herself to block everything out. She didn't know that man. But she thought she did. She was embarrassed, hurt, and in so much pain that it was almost unbearable. How ridiculous she must have looked, and oh god, how she needed to apologize to whoever that was. Her whole body shook with the force of her sobs. She was tired of holding everything in. Tired of thinking about, worrying about, how she would look if she just let herself feel something for once...
MacCready crouched down beside her, unsure of what to do. Part of him was shouting that he should offer some kind of physical comfort, but he wasn't sure if she was comfortable with that right now. Instead, he waited and listened.
"I was having the strangest dream. When I woke up…" She managed to choke out between sobs, "I thought I was back at my home." She sniffed, willing the tears to stop, and rubbed at her eyes for good measure. "My old home… back before I was frozen." She needed to calm down, this was unlike her. "I thought that man was Nate, my late husband… He looked… just like him for a minute that I was so sure." She gripped her temples again, looking down at the floor beneath her. Her shoulders were still shaking slightly. She couldn't get the tremors to stop. "I was so sure." She took a few deep breaths to steady herself, willing the tears to stop. Each breath was punctuated with squeezing at her temples, trying to will a modicum of self-control back into herself. She heard MacCready 'hm' next to her, listened as his body fell to a seated position on the floor, just like her.
"I'm so embarrassed." She whispered, still not looking up at him. She wanted to will herself into the floor boards. Between the pounding in her head, and her broken heart, she wanted to be anywhere but here.
She felt an arm around her shoulders. She stiffened at first, unsure at the contact after what had just transpired. The arms she wanted to hold her would never do so again. She needed to accept that. It was a fact. Something she needed to come to terms with.
The arm around her tightened, pulling her closer to the other body on the floor with her. MacCready sighed and looked down at her. He wasn't sure what exactly Nora was feeling, since he had never had something like this happen. But, he could empathize with missing someone. "I get it. I don't think you should be embarrassed." He stated, "I'm just glad you're awake. You had me scared there for a second."
Nora let out a breathy laugh. That was the first time she had gotten knocked out like that.
"I guess I should have been a little bit more careful." She found the nerve to look up at him, and was happy to find his comforting blue eyes. Her head was still pounding, but she was tired of holding it. Her tremors were slowly starting to come less and less. Nora let her head fall a little bit, so it was gently resting against his shoulder. If it bothered MacCready, he made no indication. So, instead of over thinking it like she normally would, she just focused on the slight pain in her head, and the warmth at her side. This was the contact she was needing earlier. Someone was holding her and it was nice. They were pulling the falling pieces back together, if only for a short while. She felt safe.
"Part of that was my fault." MacCready admitted, as he had frozen up at first which caused this whole ordeal. Maybe if she hadn't gotten closelined by that ghoul the first time, they wouldn't have been in this mess. "I'm sorry I froze up earlier. It won't happen again." Succinct and to the point. He would not lose focus like that again, especially after seeing what it had cost. He almost lost another person he cared about.
Nora smiled, not bothering to look him in the eye. He apologized again. "Do you want to tell me what happened back there?"
MacCready sighed, rubbing his eyes with the hand not wrapped around Nora. She had just told him what was going on with her, so it was only fair that he divulged. "Seeing all those ghouls coming at you brought me back to a time I would like to forget, a time I thought I moved on from." He felt Nora's head nod, indicating she understood what he was getting at. "I felt like the world stopped, and I couldn't move. Or breathe. I don't know what happened." Maybe the fact that they were recently talking about it brought the memory to the forefront of his mind. Maybe going over the details of Lucy's death with someone made him think about it more. He wasn't sure, but he had never reacted like that with someone else. He wasn't ready to realize that perhaps the reason why he had such a strong reaction was because he was starting to care deeply for Nora.
Nora hummed, twisting her head so she could gaze over at him from their seated and joined position. "It sounds like you might have had a panic attack." She stated matter-of-factly. She should have realized it when it happened, having experienced her own panic attacks frequently. The flop sweat, the trembling, gasping for air. She shouldn't have pushed him to continue, should have let him catch his breath and address what had happened.
"Panic attack?" He asked, unfamiliar with the term. He remembered feeling that fear, it was like losing Lucy all over again, but with Nora. He hadn't experienced anything like that since that day long ago. Thought he had moved passed it, for the most part. However not being able to catch his breath caused him to be even more scared. Caused his lungs to try and work over time, and made him focus on the fact that he couldn't catch his breath anymore, which in turn repeated the fear cycle.
"Yeah, I used to get them a lot… back before all of this." Nora explained, gazing out across the darkened room and adjusting her posture so she could be closer to him. She needed to feel some human contact right now. Part of her was ashamed for taking advantage of his kindness, but she was a physical touch type of person, and had been deprived of it for so long, that this was like a nice healing balm right now. She was going to make the most of it while it lasted. She needed someone to help her push all the broken pieces somewhat together, even if it was a little bit haphazardly. Otherwise she would lose herself. "You can't catch your breath, it feels like the world is ending… they are scary."
"Scary would be a good word to describe whatever happened, yeah."
"I shouldn't have pushed you to continue, I'm sorry." Nora sighed, the stinging in her head was now just a dull throb, slowly punctuating with her heartbeat. It reminded her that she was still alive, in one piece, in this new world. She should be grateful that this didn't end up with her not waking up, or losing more of her memory. If she had lost MacCready, or even the memory of him… "Guess we need to communicate a bit more if we're going to continue being partners, huh?"
Partners, huh? MacCready laughed, squeezing her shoulder. He supposed they were on equal footing now. It had been long enough that he didn't consider Nora "Boss" so much anymore. Hell, the more he thought about it, the more he thought of her as a friend. That's what friends do, right? They have panic attacks over the thought of the other person getting hurt, or getting mauled to death by ghouls… That was normal. Totally logical and acceptable behavior. He didn't need to think more about it, didn't need to realize that maybe there was a deeper revelation somewhere in there. "Guess we need to get you a helmet or something too while we're at it." He teased, tilting his head so he was looking down at hers. She was still resting her head on his shoulder. It felt nice. They hadn't been close like this before. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to hold someone - there wasn't really anyone he had thought to even want to hold anymore, save for Duncan.
Nora laughed along with him, staring up into his eyes. They both quieted at the same time, and while there was tension in the air, it hung in such a way that she wasn't bothered by it. If anything, it caused her to really focus on what was going on and the feeling of having him next to her. It was charged almost, made her more focused. He was so close, and with the way his eyes were looking at her... She found herself again being amazed at how blue they seemed - almost endless, like she was staring out into the ocean. From this close she was able to see all the remarkable features of his face, now that he wasn't covering most of it with the brim of his hat. He had flecks of gold in his eyes, which was different. The eyelashes surrounding them were so very long. She was jealous - she'd kill for those lashes. He looked young, but his eyes held a depth to them, which made him seem older somehow. It was most likely due to his upbringing in this world. He probably has lived, and seen more, than Nora had back before all this began. His hair was a sandier color than she recalled, a stark contrast to her darker brown. The lines of his jaw were very sharp, but he still had a kind face. It wasn't the face she was used to seeing this close - there were too many differences - but, she found that she didn't quite mind the differences so much. In fact, the more she looked at him, the more she wanted to keep looking…
There was a knock on a wall, someone cleared their throat. Nora didn't realize how close her face was to MacCready's until the stranger entered the room. She had been staring at the way his facial hair had formed around his mouth, just now realizing how inappropriate that was. She hoped she hadn't made him uncomfortable with all of her soul searching. She blinked her eyes a few times, trying to get rid of the haziness. Whatever had just happened between them, whatever was going to happen… the moment was gone.
MacCready jolted from his position, just as the stranger entered the room. Swiftly he removed his arm and backed away from her, not realizing how close he had gotten to her. In his haste to comfort, maybe he should've given more thought to how he went about it. He pretended not to notice the heat in his cheeks, or the way Nora's reddened. She was trying to avoid his gaze, staring intently at the stranger who entered the room and interrupted them. He couldn't help but note the tinge of annoyance he felt at the disruption. That was new.
"Paladin Danse said you hit your head again." The stranger stated, kneeling down and getting into Nora's personal space. Immediately Nora found herself backing away, unnerved by the ease with which this person came into her bubble.
"Who are you." Nora more demanded than asked, trying not to get annoyed with this person, but failing miserably.
"I'm Scribe Haylen, I'm the medic."
"Oh, I guess I have you to thank for the bandage then." Nora spoke, pointing her finger to her wrapped head. She scooted closer to the scribe, forgetting her unease for the moment. If this was the person who put her head back together she should be grateful.
The scribe nodded, already moving forward to start examining her handiwork when she noticed the bandages were already saturated. "It seems like you must have reopened the wound. We're going to need to put some more bandage around your head."
Nora sighed, her cheeks tinting pink at recent memory. "I need to apologize to that man." She said sheepishly, watching as the scribe gently started to unpack a medical kit to the side. She slowly started to unravel a new bandage, coming close to Nora's head, and placing the new dressing over the old one.
Scribe Haylen laughed, pausing in her ministrations. "Don't worry, Paladin Danse has had his fair share of women holding onto him for support." Her laughter died down a bit, but her eyes were still smiling. Haylen wasn't sure why she felt the need to comfort this woman, but it seemed like a good course of action. "In fact, I pretty much did the same thing to him a few weeks ago."
Nora laughed, calmed by the scribe's admission, but still embarrassed by her outburst. The scribe had a good bedside manner at least.
[ x ]
It took a few minutes of head wrapping, stimpak injecting, and going over symptoms with Scribe Haylen before Nora was cleared to get moving. Nora decided she rather liked the scribe - she seemed like she had a lot of personality. In Nora's experience, many soldiers she had met before the bombs were often pretty stoic and quiet, but Haylen seemed to fill the silence easily enough. She also hadn't commented on what she had walked in on, which was a blessing. Nora still wasn't quite sure what had happened herself, and with the way her head was acting she didn't want to comment on her feelings, less they be a result of her injury.
MacCready was hesitant, but also wanted to get out of there. While the Brotherhood were being nice to them now, he was sure they would ask something of Nora before the day was up. That's how it always seemed to work with them. Nora was hesitating at the threshold of the door, still uneasy about facing the paladin again. She was embarrassed and felt like she made a fool of herself to this complete stranger, and wasn't really sure how to explain it. Plus, the fact that he looked closely like her late husband made her uneasy. Was she ready to see that in full light? What would that stir up if she did? She didn't feel comfortable admitting why she had done what she did to a room full of strangers.
MacCready stopped ahead of her a bit, turning to glance at her as he sensed her hesitation. He wasn't sure if she was feeling nauseous again from her injury and immediately felt worry rise up. The scribe had told them to wait a little while before taking another stimpak - it was still too soon for her to take another one.
"You alright?" He asked, turning around and taking two quick strides to be back at her side, a hand already on her the small of her back to steady her in case she needed it.
She looked up at him, saw the worry in his eyes, and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Seeing him worried about her gave her the strength to continue on. The sooner they got over this, the sooner she could be back outside and put this behind her.
"Yeah, just got dizzy for a second. I'm good."
Nora pushed off the door frame she was leaning on, coming further into the larger lighted room. The Brotherhood soldiers were standing close together, Scribe Haylen doting on a soldier on the ground who appeared to be in pain. Nora eyed the paladin warily, noting the suit of power armor standing like a sentinel in the corner of the room. In her travels in the wasteland, she had seen her fair share of the stuff, but never favored it. It was old world technology, and she was surprised that there were still so many out in the wasteland. She had thought the military of old had kept most of them secured, but maybe she was wrong. The suit itself was too bulky, too noisy. She favored stealth, a quick getaway. That, and it reminded her too much of Nate. Maybe that was another reason she felt a strong pull towards this man. It was like looking at her late husband if he had continued on after the vault. She shook her head, ridding the passing thought from existence. Nate was gone, this man was a stranger, nothing more.
Drawing herself up to her full height, Nora stepped towards the group and cleared her throat. The Paladin turned towards her cautiously, almost as if he was afraid to spook her. She deflated a little at seeing how tall he truly was - Nora barely came up to the middle of his arm - but pressed forward. She would need to get this over with. Scribe Haylen busied herself with the man on the floor, fussing over him to try and take some of the awkwardness out of the air, bless her. She had more tact than Nora gave her credit for.
"My name is Nora." She started, holding out her hand as one was accustomed to do from her time when introductions were in order. "I wanted to apologize for… earlier. You just remind me a lot of… someone I used to know." Nora tried her hardest to still the quickness in her heart. The man looked down at her outstretched hand warily, and she forgot how outdated this custom was. He slowly placed his hand into hers, giving it a shake. Now that she was able to look at this man in the light, he did favor Nate quite a bit. That was to be expected in the world though, people often looked like others, she would need to learn to be okay with the fact that this man was almost like an afterimage of her husband, blurred and hardened by this new world. It hurt to look at him, she felt the sadness of missing Nate. Instead of turning her eyes down like she wanted to do, she stared at him as much as possible, willing herself to feel the sting of the loss. She would need to get over this at some point. She felt MacCready slide over next to her right arm. It was a comforting presence - she could get through this.
"Apology accepted, civilian. We appreciated the support earlier, even if it caused you injury." Paladin Danse declared. "Now, what's your business here?"
Immediately, the nerves Nora felt at confronting this man dissipated. The brusque manner of speech was so unlike anything she had heard before, so unlike Nate, that she found it laughable that she even considered this man to be his doppelganger. Nate would have never spoken to her that way - or anyone else. It was so succinct and formal, especially being addressed as a "civilian". It took her out of the fantasy that he was still alive, further driving home the fact that the time she was missing had passed, she needed to move on. Maybe this was a good thing to come to terms with, maybe this was exactly what she needed to learn to move on with her new life.
"We heard your radio signal and thought you might need help." Nora answered truthfully, not seeing the point of lying to this man. He had an air of confidence about him, the stance of authority, and could most likely sniff out lies from others. There would be no point in trying.
"Nora enjoys getting smacked in the head by ghouls, especially when trying to help others." MacCready joked, crossing his arms and eyeing the paladin. This man seemed too serious for him. It put him on edge. Plus, with knowing how Nora felt about him, what he reminded her of, he thought perhaps providing some comic relief could help ease the tension.
Nora elbowed him, letting out a radiant smile and talking through her teeth in feigned annoyance, "This was the first time that's happened." She pinched him for good measure. MacCready laughed at her, rubbing the spot she had hit in mock hurt. Good then, she was back to herself. He did his job.
The Paladin eyed the pair suspiciously. Most people didn't go out of their way to help others. This was a fact of the world. He had half a mind to ask them both to leave. The male looked like a gunner, or mercenary, which concerned him. They had enough trouble with the locals that they didn't need this rag tag group of wannabe soldiers at their front door. And with the way the woman - Nora - he corrected himself, had acted previously, he was surprised she made it this far. She seemed small enough that a strong wind blowing would tip her over. Especially now with her bandaged head. She didn't look like she would be doing much in the way of fighting anytime soon. They seemed very at ease with each other, which meant they must either be friends or have traveled together for a little while. He noted the sniper on the gunners back, the way the man kept watch on his reaction out of the corner of his eye while simultaneously teasing the woman. They stood close enough together that it could be deduced there was something more there, but Danse was unsure, didn't want to overanalyze like he was used to doing. He watched as the mercenary bumped shoulders with the woman. Danse honed in on the fact that while he was smiling at the woman, once she huffed in feigned annoyance and looked away, the man's eyes were hard and piercing his own. Cautious. Calculating. A warning look. Perhaps he was wrong about the man at least - maybe he could ask him for help with retrieving the transmitter.
"Regardless of your reasons, I'm down men and supplies. I need to send a distress signal for assistance." Paladin Danse stated, watching as the pair snapped their attention to him quickly. The teasing was done, they were all business now.
MacCready sighed, eyeing the man with annoyance. Here it came - the moment he was waiting for. Thanks for your help but we need you to help MORE. He wasn't afraid to let his disdain out in the open, whereas Nora was poised and polite. He could see the gears in her head turning as she listened to the paladin's plea, but noted that the paladin still kept a watch on him. He was probably untrusting of MacCready, and honestly rightfully so. MacCready had half a mind to leave them all there. They were the Brotherhood. They would figure it out. They had more than enough skill and resources to sort whatever issues they were facing out, without help. But he knew who Nora was, knew she would want to help. He watched as she asked the soldier about the Brotherhood - hadn't even thought to consider the fact that Nora had never learned about them in their travels. Paladin Danse gave a standard Brotherhood speech about the horrors of technology, and how they are seeking to make sure all the bad things in the world never happen again. It was big talk, he thought, nothing more. There was no way they could ever save mankind from itself.
"It sounds to me like you're looting all the technology you can get your hands on."
MacCready shifted, his eyes darting over to her quickly. That was a ballsy thing to say to a paladin whose power armor was standing in the corner of the room. Especially with a fresh head injury. His eyes went wide and his arms dropped to their sides, ready to take action if things got testy. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife - either it was going to come to a fight or an argument, and MacCready wasn't necessarily looking forward to either.
"That couldn't be further from the truth." Paladin Danse challenged, crossing his arms and frowning down at the woman. For someone who knew nothing about the Brotherhood, she had quite a bit of negativity to spread.
"Oh really? How have you helped the world then." Nora challenged, mirroring his posture and staring back at him. She didn't like the way he exuded authority, and didn't like that this… façade of the military of old was trying to take all the technology out of the world for themselves. There were a lot of things that the old world had not gotten right, but this was a chance to try and start over. Nora got an eerie vibe that this faction only cared about themselves, which made her irritated. She was trying to do something better this time around, help people, it's why she decided to stick with the minutemen and cultivate some good. She had to at least try.
How had the Brotherhood helped the Commonwealth? How was it possible for this man... this man who looked and reminded her so much of her late husband, to be so completely off the mark? It infuriated her that she had even thought to consider it at first, had even wasted her time hugging him. He was so arrogant. Was this Nate's way of saying 'time to let me go' from the grave? She wouldn't put it past him to do something like that - his humor was always a bit different. Nora could see him contriving a situation like this from wherever it was souls go to rest, waking her up after the trauma of losing him, thrusting her into this strange world to see if she listened when he taught her about firearms, sending an almost doppelganger to throw her for a loop. He would probably be laughing and teasing her about it if he were still around. Hm… maybe the infuriating annoyance was something similar then...
Danse balked at her, clearly offended by her statement. Just who was this Nora and why was she being so…. Difficult?
The pair had started arguing in earnest after that. MacCready, Haylen and the other soldier stood stock still and watched with wide eyes. Neither party had expected it, but then again these strangers had no idea who Nora was. She could get into arguments with the best of them, especially if it was something she cared about. This must have been one of those things that she cared about, because she only got really animated with her arms when she was passionate. The pair started to go back and forth - arguing about the effects of technology running amok, the world ending. Nora's arms were waving, punctuating the air with her speech. It reminded her of one of her particularly difficult trials. This was the type of man who wouldn't see reason right away, was so caught up in his own ideals that he wouldn't even think to look for alternatives. She was very angry that this man had the audacity to talk to her about the end of the world. The paladin had no idea that Nora had seen it with her own eyes, had lived it, but wasn't backing down from his own beliefs. Neither was Nora. MacCready decided to intervene at this point, watching as both parties drew themselves to their full height and started making louder and angrier sounds. It was going to come to a breaking point soon. They continued bickering, their voices getting louder, causing the other soldiers in the room to glance their way with wariness. Undoubtedly they were upset that Nora was having a field day picking apart their organization. MacCready was just waiting for the proverbial bomb to go off.
Haylen was making her way over to try to ease the tension, her arms up in a calming manner. Both parties were still so engrossed in their loud debate that they paid her no mind. Nora never did shy away from a verbal sparring match, but MacCready was just worried that with their lack of manpower it would lead to something else. He was prepared to throw down, but didn't necessarily want to wrestle the giant paladin to the ground. His sniper would mean shit within the confines of this room anyway, and the paladin probably had at least fifty pounds on him. That would make things difficult. Plus there were two other watchful eyes in the room. Even if he got the paladin down, he would still have to contend with a scribe and a wounded soldier. Nora may have been able to at least take care of one, but one blow to the head and she would be out again. He wasn't about to put her into any more danger. He wasn't trying to fuck with the Brotherhood just yet. He needed to get involved now, settle the pair down. He hated having to get involved, but it didn't look like they were going to stop any time soon.
"Look if you need something pal, say it." MacCready announced, pushing Nora behind him a little bit to break up the conflict. He could see that her face was getting red. Either this guy was pushing her buttons, or she was getting sick again. Neither option was great, but if he could get one of them to shut up it might prove useful. Nora immediately quieted behind him. That proved to be the correct thing to say, as the man immediately lost his guarded posture and turned to face MacCready.
"I need a transmitter to boost the signal to our comrades. It's in the building down the road." Paladin Danse didn't like admitting that he needed help, but with supplies low and Haylen and Rhys partially injured, he didn't want to risk their safety. He could probably have done it on his own, would do it on his own, if these strangers didn't assist. But, he figured it couldn't hurt to ask. He was seriously reconsidering it though with the way Nora picked a fight. She seemed to be unstable at best and he wasn't about to have her assist. He did not trust her to watch his back. Maybe the man could be reasoned with. If he was a mercenary, he would pay. That always got the attention of one of his type.
"We will get it." Nora stated, surprising both MacCready and Paladin Danse. MacCready for the fact that he hadn't expected her to want to help, what with the way she just tore into the guy. Secondly, she was still healing and wasn't exactly at her best. If they were to do this, she would again be risking her life for someone who probably gave two shits about her - hell he wasn't even sure if SHE gave two shits about him, which further confused him as to why she would feel the need to help. Paladin Danse was surprised for the sheer fact that he had assumed Nora was unhinged, what with the screaming match they had just gotten into for no reason at all. One moment she was hugging him for dear life, and the next she was picking him apart like a vulture. He had to hand it to her though, she definitely could hold her own in an argument. Which was surprising given her small and unimposing stature. She could definitely hold her own against Proctor Quinlan - Danse might even pay to see that.
"I appreciate the assist - I'll go get my power armor ready." Danse stated, already turning towards his favored gear.
"No." Nora snapped. She pushed past MacCready, eyeing the paladin with irritation. She wasn't going to have that hulking thing within 5 feet of her. It was loud, obnoxious, and would alert anything within a few feet's radius that they were coming. This needed stealth. "I said we will get it - MacCready and I. Worst comes to worse, we don't come back and then you can try to get it with your giant robo-suit."
Again, the paladin turned and balked at her, surprise and anger coloring every part of his usually stoic features. "...Ma'am this is a Brotherhood issued suit of power armor - this is the finest-"
"I said what I said." Nora snapped, grabbing MacCready's arm and walking swiftly towards the door. She didn't even bother to entertain his futile attempts to engage her in discussion. She had it with that man - he was rude, brusque, abrasive….
But that didn't mean she wasn't going to try and help.