Chapter 8

It's been a week since I saw that plus sign. So that's why I found myself wasting my time in the waiting room of the Drs. office waiting to be called back. I had been waiting for the last 30 minutes for someone to call me back. I was starting to get impatient. A few minutes later, I finally heard my name being called.

"Arizona Robbins?" Thank god.

"Right here." I say, jumping up from my seat.

"Alright, follow me please." I followed the lady to the patient room. "Dr. Stevens will be in shortly to see you."

"Thank you." I say, hopping up onto the table. It only took five minutes before the Dr. came in.

"Arizona?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Hi, I'm Dr. Stevens, I'll be taking care of you today. So what brings you in?"

Clearing my throat, I say, "I took a pregnancy test two days ago, and it came back positive. So I just wanted to double check, you know, get confirmation."

"Of Course. No problem. What I'll do is, I'll ask you some questions, then once we get done, I'll have a nurse come in to draw some blood."

"Thanks."

"Sure. Alright, let's start with your age. How old are you?"

"18."

"Ok, when was your last menstrual cycle?"

"Umm...December 17th." I answer.

"Ok, are you regular? You know, every 28 days?"

"I am. I'm always right on time. Never late."

"Ok, got it. Have you been sexually active in the last month or so?"

"Just on New Year's Ever." I tell her.

"And you never done anything before that correct?" What?

"No. I was a virgin up until New Year's Eve."

"Ok, well that's all the questions. So I will have a nurse come in to draw some blood."

"Ok. But could you hurry please. I actually have an afternoon class."

"We will do the best we can, Ms. Robbins. Sit tight. Someone will be in shortly to draw some blood." She got up from her stool and left the room. Moments later, the nurse walked in to draw some blood. After she was done, she wrapped my arm up to keep pressure on the puncture wound.

"Alright, I will get this sent to the lab right away and we should have the results in about 10 minutes."

"Thank you." I say to her. When she leaves the room, once again, I'm all alone. It took another 20 minutes before Dr. Stevens enter the room.

"Alright, Arizona. I have the results to the blood test."

"And?"

"Congratulations. You are definitely pregnant." I inhaled sharply.

"I'm guessing by your reaction, this wasn't planned?"

"No. It most definitely was not."

"Ok. Well, if it's ok, I know you said you have a class this afternoon, but if it's alright, I'd like to get an ultrasound. You know, just to see how far along you are."

"That's fine. With the news I received today, I may just skip my class today."

"I totally understand. So if you will, follow me, I'll will show you to the ultrasound room." I followed her out of the room and into the ultrasound room.

"Alright, go ahead and make yourself comfortable, while I get this powered up." I hopped up onto the exam table and waited for her to get the machine up. After she put information in, she grab the gel off the cart. "Ok, please lift your shirt for me, please." I lifted up my shirt like she had asked. "Ok, fare warning, this is going to be a little cold." She tells me, squirting the gel onto my stomach. I nearly jumped off the table. "Sorry."

"Hey, you did warn me." I giggle.

She grabbed the transducer and started moving it around. She moved it around to see if she could get a clear picture.

"There.." She says pointing to the screen. "There's your baby." I just stared at the little blob on the screen. That's my baby "So, by the looks here, and going by your last menstrual period, you're around 9 weeks. So your due date around maybe mid September."

"9 weeks?"

"Yup. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" Dr. Stevens could tell that I wasn't really all that happy about the pregnancy, so she thought that she could cheer me up by asking me if I wanted to hear the heart beat.

"Yeah, sure." When she flipped the switch on the machine, a loud swooshing sound filled the room.

"Looks like it's got a nice strong heartbeat." She tells me. She hands me a towel to wipe off my stomach, then goes about to print out a picture for me. Before we left the room, she mentions,

"Arizona, I noticed from the look on your face, that you're not all excited about this pregnancy.

"What do you mean? I'm fine."

Reaching for my arm, she continues, "Most expecting mother's are in aw over seeing their baby on the screen and nearly jump for joy when hearing the heartbeat...But.."

"I'm not most mothers." I snap.

"I know that. You're an 18 year teenager with a lot of mixed feelings about this whole situation. So, In all honesty, I'd like to recommend support groups for Teenaged Moms. Attend, talk it over with the other Moms. Share your story."

"No disrespect, Dr. Stevens, but I don't need a support group. And I will not share my feelings with a bunch of other Moms. because there is no story to tell. I got fucked up on New Year's Eve and made some bad choice, which I highly regret." I got off the table and made my way to the door.

"Wait..Arizona." I turned around to see what more she had to say. "I'd like for you to come back, in a few weeks for your 12 week ultrasound."

"Fine." I say before leaving the room. I made my way out to the front desk to set up another appointment three weeks from now.

Laying on my bed, all I could think about was my baby. Seeing it on the screen and hearing the heartbeat for the first time, still had me in disbelief. I still can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm now going to be a mother. Why is this happening to me I'm only 18, I know damn good and well I'm not ready for motherhood. I can't be a mother. Not right now at least. I still haven't told Teddy. I need to tell her the truth, but I don't know how. I can't bring myself to, considering I lied straight to her face.

11 Weeks

Just as I was packing up my stuff after class had let out, I heard my professor call my name.

"Ms. Robbins, can you come here please?" We just took our midterms Monday, so he probably just wanted to tell me privately about how well I did. After finishing packing up my stuff, I made my way down to his desk.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Is everything ok?"

Am I ok? Why wouldn't I be?

"Of Course. Why do you ask?" He holds up my test from Monday.

"Well, this here is your exam from Monday. You failed, Ms. Robbins." Crap!

"oh...well...I..." I couldn't form a single word. I was shocked.

"Yes.." He says raising his brow.

"Nothing sir. I'll do better next time, Sir." I tell him.

"You better, you need an A on the final and whatever other assignments you have coming due. I can tell you, as of right now, you are failing my class. If you don't pass my, you will have to take my course come fall semester. There is a summer semester coming up, you could always retake my class then. That way you won't be behind when you and everyone else returns in the fall."

"Yes Sir." was all I could say.

"Alright, well here is the study guide with all the materials that will be on the final. I suggest you get to studying. Final is next week, Ms. Robbins."

I took the study guide and made out of the classroom.

Back at the dorm, sitting at my desk, I look at the study guide that was given to me. But I just couldn't focus. My focus has been nothing but shit lately. All I could think about these days on was my baby. Plus the thoughts how I'm going to raise him or her while I'm in school. Letting out a loud sigh, I decided to put the packet away. I picked up my phone to call call my guidance counselor.

Two weeks later- (13 weeks)

"How could you fail your midterms, Arizona?"My brother scolded.

"Don't start with me, Tim. I'm not in the fucking mood." I snapped

"Watch that tone, Arizona Marie. I'm not Teddy. I won't sit here and take your bullshit attitude. Now tell me what is going on."

"Nothing. I'm fine." I yell into the phone.

"Bullshit, you're not going to play the 'I'm Fine' card."

"Just drop it, Tim. I mean it." I snap again.

"Fine, don't tell me. At least tell me if you're coming home for the summer."

"For the last fucking time, no, I can't Tim, I have to work. Stop asking me." I can't tell if it's just the pregnancy hormones, or just the fact that Tim won't shut his trap and stop irritating me about coming home again. I don't want to go home. Because if I do, then that meant that I'd risk the chance of running into Callie. I don't want that. She still has been trying to call, but I won't answer her.

"I told you I wasn't going to be able to make it in two fucking nights ago, but it seems to me that you don't want to hear it."

"What is going on with you, Arizona? Why are you acting this way? You been distant since New Year's Eve. I haven't seen you this distant since Mom and Dad died."

"For the last fucking time, I don't want to talk about it." This time, I was really yelling at him. "I'd appreciate if you, and everyone else would just leave the hell alone. Stop asking me what is wrong. I said everything is fine."

"Apparently you aren't. and were all worried about you." He yells back. "Something is clearly wrong. If you can't talk to me, or to Teddy, then I think maybe you should talk to someone. This isn't like you."

"I have to go, Tim. I have shit to do before I go into work. I call you later." Not giving him a chance to reply, I hung up.

After hanging up with Tim, I gathered my clothes together and took them took the laundry mat. One thing I hate about these damn dorms, not one washer and dryer in this fucking building.

After two hours of laundry, I pulled my text book out for my CIS 101 Class and started studying before it was time to leave for work. Finals were in a week and if I don't pass, I'll have to retake them. I got so caught up in studying, I lost track of time. I knew I was going to be late for work and I was already on a thin line with my boss down at the station.

"You're late. Again, Arizona."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." I snapped, waving my hand at him. "What do we got?"

"We have a caller on the line. She says she needs to talk." For the last week, we had opened up a hotline for teenagers.

"Hello, Caller, are you there?" I ask, taking the unknown caller off hold.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Who am I speaking with?" came my next question.

"This is Molly." she says.

"How can I help you tonight, Molly."

"I just called because I needed to talk someone, besides my parents."

"Of course, you can tell me anything. What's been going on?"

The call was going very smoothly, until she mention how her boyfriend was pushing her into having sex with him. She told us, that he told her that if she didn't, he was going to dump her.

"How old are you, Molly?" I ask her.

"I'm Fifteen." She tells me.

"Will this be your first time?" I wasn't trying to get personal, I was just trying to get the information so I could give her whatever advice I could that would be helpful.

"Yes. I'm still a virgin." That then, set me off. How could any fifteen year old be thinking about having sex right now? Especially if the guy is pushing her into it. Not to mention, she was all willing to do it because she didn't want to him to leave her.

"Listen here Molly..For one, you are too fucking you to be having sex. You should be fucking focusing on keeping your grades up so you can get into a great college. It's not worth giving up your fucking virginity to a guy who is over 21. Not only is that wrong, but it's fucking insane. My advice, don't do it. It's not worth it. It will fuck you up for a long time. That moment moment will change you forever. Not to mention, if you're not careful, you could end up pregnant. and it can happen your very first time." I threw my headphones on the table, stood up and walked out of the room. A moment later, my boss walks out of the studio room, chest heaving and nostrils flaring. He crossed his arms and looked at me.

"What?" I snapped.

"What the hell was that?"

"What do you mean? She wanted my advice, so I gave her my input."

"You literally went off on her..."

"Because she was being fucking stupid." I yell, cutting him off.

"That's where you come in, give her the best advice..nicely I might add."

I just scoffed.

"You know what, I don't know what's been up your ass lately, Arizona, but I won't be putting up with it anymore. and this..here" pointing to the room we just left, "This won't happen again. It won't. I won't tolerate it." I just give him a dirty look.

"Whatever." I just crossed my arms.

"You know, I have had it with your attitude. You're fired." He tells me then storms back into the studio room.

It was finally finals week, and I couldn't be more stressed out. Being 15 weeks pregnant, and dealing with the stress because of finals, it wasn't a great combination. I made my into the classroom.

"Ms. Robbins, are you ready?" asks my professor as I was taking my seat. Ha! Not really. Just thinking about the possibility of failing the class makes me even more nauseous. I can't tell if the nausea is the morning sickness or just the stress from knowing that there is a huge chance that I could fail this test, then fail the class.

"Yes sir." I reply.

"Alright, I guess we will see won't we?" He snarked. "Alright, everyone, please take a test, then pass them to the back. Once everyone has a test, you may begin."

God my professor is an asshole.

When I got my test, I began very quickly. But I couldn't concentrate because of the fact my stomach won't stop turning. I raise my hand.

"Yes, Ms. Robbins?"

"I need to use the bathroom?"

"Are you asking or are you telling me?"

"Actually, I was asking. May I use the restroom."

"Well we are moments from taking the test, so it wait?"

"Honestly sir, it can't." The class fell silent. " I think I'm going to be sick, sir."

" Yeah, well Ms. Robbins, I'm going to be sick too. Sick of the fact that you are using every excuse in the book to get out of your test." he shoots back. "I tell you what, you leave this room, you automatically fail. Simple as that." My jaw about fell to the floor. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Watch your language, Ms. Robbins. and no. I'm not kidding you. Does my face look like it's kidding to you?"

My anger started to get the best of me. I'm literally two seconds from going off on this old bastard. He is literally being a fucking prick. I'm one second away from puking all over my desk and he won't let me use the bathroom. Who the fuck does this asshole think he is?

"You know what sir, fuck you." I say standing up "You can just fail me then, I don't fucking care anymore." I picked up my test and ripped it up. I was angry. I had to leave the room before I said anything more. So I reached down to grab my bad and stormed out.