Confessions

My throat felt dry, even though I had just drained my glass of the iced tea.

It's time to tell the truth. I thought to myself. Besides, it's not fair to Jacob or Nessie to lie about this.

"No. I don't like Jacob." I finally responded, looking out at the yard. I noticed that mom planted more flowers along the walkway. They looked beautiful.

"Then why did you say you did, Bells?"

I took a few deep breaths. "I honestly don't know Edward. I guess...I guess it was easier to say that I liked Jacob than saying I didn't actually like Mike."

"I still don't understand." I felt him shift in the swing. I knew that he was looking at me.

"I'm sorry Edward. I really don't like Jacob. At least, not in a romantic way. He's a really great friend to me. Nessie too."

"Thanks for telling me the truth, although I'm still not sure why you lied to me." He sat quietly for a moment before he sighed. "I guess I have something to share too."

"What's that?" I turned to him this time, and he was now looking out at my mom's flowers.

"I broke up with Tanya."

I couldn't hide my shock. "You..you did?"

"Yeah, right after you told me about Jacob."

"But..but why? I thought you two were happy."

"That's the thing. I wasn't. I haven't been for a long time. Tanya's been around since I was a teenager. She was always a good friend to me. As we got older, it made sense for us to start dating, but deep down, I knew that we weren't right for each other. Especially after I found out what she did to you back then."

My mouth felt dry again. "It's fine Edward. She was just a kid. I don't hold anything against her."

"She mentioned it, you know. That day you came to see me when we were kids. She made it sound like it was not that big of a deal. I tried to get her to understand how much it hurt you, but she made it seem like I was overreacting. It made me really mad. I told her that we needed to call it quits."

"I'm sorry Edward."

"Don't be. I'm glad that I did it. It's long overdue. I do wish her well though. I know that deep down she's a good person."

"I'm sure she is." I responded.

Deep deep down. I thought to myself.

"Bells?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk…" Edward was cut off by my mom calling from the kitchen.

"Bella! The pumpkin and sweet potatoes are soft. Time to mix these and get them in the baker. I want us to start eating soon."

I sighed, but Edward just chuckled. "It's okay. We can talk after."

We spent the next hour mixing pumpkin pie filling and sweet potato filling. During the entire ordeal, I couldn't stop the butterflies in my stomach.

Edward broke up with Tanya.

He did it because she hurt me.

Does that mean he feels something for me, too?

When both of the pies were in the baker, we iced the cupcakes. Well, mom and I iced the cupcakes. Edward and Phil kept on stealing icing and stuffing entire cupcakes into their mouths. My mom found it pretty hilarious. Phil finally found someone to indulge with him.

Since the pies took longer than expected, our lunch turned into dinner. It was a long day, but everything looked amazing. Mom made a huge deal about setting the table, as usual. Phil did the honors of carving the turkey, and he even allowed Edward to help. During dinner, I couldn't help but notice how at home Edward looked with us. My family. Almost like he belonged here, with me.

Mom's voice woke me from my thoughts and I cleared my throat, hoping they didn't notice that I had been staring at Edward.

"Edward, will you be okay driving back this late in the evening? I'm sorry to keep you so late."

"Oh, it's okay. I'm actually staying for a few days. I rented an Airbnb in town."

"You did?" I asked him, the shock apparent in my voice.

"Yeah" He looked at me as he explained. "Alice and Rosalie planned on having a girls weekend after Thanksgiving. Jasper stayed home for a few days and Emmet went home for the holiday, too. So, I decided to hang here until its time to go back to school." He looked apologetic. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. It was a last minute decision."

"Oh, honey. There's no need to apologize. I'm sure Bella is happy to show you around town. It'll give her an excuse to get out of the house. She's such a homebody." Mom said. She didn't even give me time to process what Edward said.

I could feel the red creeping up my cheeks. Phil chuckled. "You're always welcome here, son. It'll be good to have a guy around for a change. If you're not busy tomorrow, feel free to stop by again. I can use some help on the gazebo in the evening."

Edward's eyes lit up. "Of course. I'd be happy to."

"It's settled then." Mom said, smiling from ear to ear.

I just stared at all of them, not knowing what to say.

"Bells?" Edward finally said.

"Uhh, yeah?"

"Do you mind showing me around tomorrow? If you don't have anything else planned?" He asked with a smirk. I can see Mom and Phil trying their best not to laugh.

"There's really not much to see, but sure."

"Thanks." He smiled, back to his second helping of pumpkin pie.

After dinner, we sat in the living room and chatted. Mostly, Mom and Phil asked Edward a ton of questions about his family. Although I felt they were being a bit invasive, I was happy to have some more time to observe Edward. He looked so much like he did back when we were 13. His warm smile was the same, and he had the same thick brown hair. Even though he was gorgeous, it wasn't any of those things that attracted me to him. He was always so kind and gentle. Watching the way that he interacted with my parents, especially my mom, reminded me of that. Every now and then he would look over at me and smile, making me fall for him all over again.

He looked over and smiled at me again when the doorbell rang. Mom quickly got up to answer.

"Aaron! It's so good to see you. Oh, no, Bella probably forgot, but there's plenty leftovers in the kitchen." I could hear my mom gesturing him into the kitchen.

I totally forgot about Aaron. He probably came for the desserts that I promised him earlier. I couldn't help but smile when I heard his voice, though. He always reminded me so much of my dad and the times we had together.

"Hey Aaron. Come to collect your desserts, I see?" I walked into the kitchen, only to see him scarfing down a slice of pumpkin pie my mom plated for him.

"Yup" he said between bites. "This is really good Isabella."

I smacked him on the shoulder when he said my full name. "I know you always do that on purpose."

"You know me well." He laughed that throaty laugh again.

"Here you go honey." Mom gave Aaaron a ton of paper plates with desserts, covered with plastic wrap. Aaron's eyes lit up.

I chuckled. "You'll be in dessert heaven for the rest of the week."

"That I will." He grinned back at me.

"Bells, I'm about to head out." I could almost feel Edward when he entered the room.

"Oh, umm. Okay..." I said, looking between him and Aaron. Aaron raised an eyebrow at me, and it almost seemed like he was smirking. Edward, well I couldn't read his expression. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something else.

"Edward, honey. This is Aaron Cummings. He practically watched Bella grow up." Mom broke the silence and laughed. "Bella had the biggest crush on him growing up. She pretty much lived in the grocery store because Aaron worked there after school. It was so cute."

My mouth fell open and Aaron turned to me again, smiling so wide that his dimples made a grand appearance. "Really Isabella? You never told me that."

"Uhh.." I had no clue what to say. Why would mom bring that up, especially with Edward here?

"Renee' you're embarrassing Bella." Phil interjected and I tried my best to laugh, although I know it sounded forced.

"Oh, Phil. It was a long time ago. We're all adults here. Edward was just about to head back to his rental."

Aaron, between bites of a cupcake asked, "You're not renting the place on Oakley are you?"

"Yeah, the one bedroom. Why?" Edward answered.

I couldn't believe it. Edward was renting from Mr. and Mrs. Cummings.

"That means we're neighbors." Aaron laughed. "Small town"

"Oh, cool." Edward responded dryly.

"Can I get a ride? I walked over here." Aaron asked, gathering the plates of desserts Mom gave him.

Aaron Cummings and Edward Cullen driving home together? This felt like a dream. In all of my life, they were the only two guys I had ever liked.

"Yeah, of course. We can head out now." Edward smiled, although it didn't seem to reach his eyes.

"Thanks so much again Renee', for the treats." Aaron smiled at my mom.

"Yeah, thank you too. I had a great day today." Edward told my Mom, too and I could tell that his smile was genuine. "Thank you too Phil."

"You're most welcome, son." Phil responded, eating yet another slice of pie himself.

"Oh you both are welcome. Now, get going. It's getting late." Mom practically rushed them out of the door. "Bella, you walk them out." She rushed me out, too.

Walking out the room behind Edward and Aaron, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.

Should I tell Edward that I didn't feel anything for Aaron anymore?

Does he even care?

I sighed as I walked out on the porch, only to notice both guys staring at me. "Umm, I'll see you tomorrow? I gestured to Edward and he smiled at me. I held onto the porch swing when my knees buckled.

Aaron smiled wide. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow too, Isabella."

Edward almost looked like he winced.

"Tomorrow?" I asked Aaron. I wasn't planning on coming into the store."

"Oh? I assumed you would be coming over to see Edward. That's what girlfriends do, don't they?" He teased.

My heart leaped.

He thought that Edward was my boyfriend?

I looked over at Edward, waiting for him to correct Aaron. He stood silently, so I finally started, "Oh, umm Edward isn't…"

"Yeah, Bells will be showing me around tomorrow." Edward quickly interjected, before looking at me again. "I'll see you tomorrow Bells."

"Uhh, okay."

"See you later Isabella" Aaron teased again, and I could hear him chuckling all the way down the driveway.

I don't know how long I stood on the porch, staring out at the empty street, before I heard my Mom join me. She motioned for me to sit on the porch swing with her.

"I really like Edward, Bella. He's a nice boy."

"Yeah, he really is." I smiled to myself and snuggled next to her.

"Why didn't you tell me that you two found each other again?"

"I don't know mom. I guess, I didn't want you to worry. I know back then I made it seem like my life had come to an end. But, Edward told me it was all a bit misunderstanding."

"I could have told you that, honey. I tried to get you to call him back then, but you were so stubborn."

I sighed. "Yeah, maybe things would have been different. But, we were kids back then."

"Bella, I grew up with your father. When we were twelve, I told him that I would marry him, and I meant it. Sure, we were both kids back then, but I always knew that I wanted to be with your dad."

"My friend Nessie told me the same thing about Jacob."

"She's a smart girl".

"Mom?" I asked, her looking up at the night sky.

"Yeah honey?"

"How do you know when you're in love?"

"Well, I'm not sure that I can explain it. All I can say is that when you find someone who you can't see yourself being without, you'll know its love. Why? Do you think you love someone?"

I sighed. "I think…I think I may feel that way about Edward, mom."

"Oh, honey." Mom hugged me tighter.

"I don't know what it is about him, but I just want to be around him all the time. It's like other guys don't exist when he's around."

Mom chuckled. "I noticed. Aaron Cummings was in the same room with him but your eyes were glued to Edward. Your one goal in life back then was to get Aaron to notice you." Mom laughed. "Charlie hated it."

I smiled, remembering how annoyed my dad would get when I told Mom how cute I thought Aaron was.

"Yeah, I just don't know if he feels the same way about me. I feel like I've been holding a torch for him for years and he may not even feel the same way. When I saw him again that first day, I felt like my heart would burst, mom."

"Bella, what are the odds of you two finding each other again? I'd say it's fate. I think you should just talk to him. I'm not up to date with you young people, but I do know that no guy will drive six hours to spend Thanksgiving with someone he doesn't like, or maybe even love."

"I guess so." I told her, but I still felt doubtful.

"Promise me, you'll talk to him?"

"I will, mom. Thanks."

"You're welcome honey."

We sat in silence, staring up at the night sky until I dozed off.

"Bella! Time to come down for breakfast. Phil's making his famous omelets."

The smell of sautéed onions drifted upstairs. I hurried out of my bed, thankful that my morning didn't start off on the hard floor, washed my face, brushed my teeth and headed downstairs.

"They smell great, Phil" I started, before I noticed Edward sitting across from Mom at the kitchen island. My mouth dropped open.

He was trying, but failing miserably at hiding his smile. "Morning Bells."

"Uhh, morning." I responded, looking at Mom who seemed oblivious to my surprise.

Edward seemed amused, and it was only until I looked down at what I was wearing did I understand why.

Why couldn't I be one of those girls who slept in cute, silk pajamas? I groaned quietly.

Instead, I slept in oversized pajama pants and a T shirt with holes. I could feel the heat in my cheeks when mom spoke.

"Bella, why are you standing over there? Come and eat before it gets cold."

Edward smiled my favorite smile, looking at me as though I didn't look like a car ran me over. I could wake up to his smile everyday.

"Yeah Bells, they're really good."

Just as I was about to sit next to Mom, she motioned for me to sit next to Edward. I tried my best to ignore the electricity I felt when his arm brushed my own.

After I was settled, mom went on with her conversation. "So, Bella, did you know that Edward is related to the founding fathers of your university?"

"Huh?"

"Cullen University. I didn't make the connection until this morning. But Edward here told me that I was right."

"Really?" I asked, looking at Edward, who didn't seem bothered in the least. "You or Alice never mentioned that to me."

"You never asked. Besides, I thought you sort of knew already. My last name is Cullen." He said, matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but… I grew up with people with that last name."

"I guess I should have mentioned it." He shrugged it off as if he didn't just reveal that he and his family were ridiculously wealthy. Although, I should have known after I saw their house all those years ago. It all makes sense now.

"So, Bella, where are you taking Edward today?" Phil asked, changing the subject.

"I was thinking about taking him up to the lake, if that's okay?"

"Really?" I could feel Mom's eyes on me.

"Yeah, I mean. I haven't been there in years and I was planning on visiting anyway."

"I'm glad, honey." I heard the emotion in my Mom's voice and I knew why. I hadn't been up to the lake in 8 years. Not since my dad died.

"Yeah. I'll actually start getting ready now. Mom, can you pack us a few snacks and a blanket?" I asked, avoiding Edward's gaze.

"Sure honey."

"Okay, I'll be down in 20 minutes."

I stood in the shower a few extra minutes, allowing the hot water to ease my tense muscles.

I'll tell him today.

I don't want to waste anymore time.

It's time I told Edward how I feel.

When I got out of the shower, I frantically searched my closet for something cute to wear. I wished that I had an eye for fashion like Alice, but I wasn't blessed with that gift. So, I decided on a plain T shirt with some Jean shorts. They were the best I could do. I brushed my hair into a ponytail and half ran back downstairs.

"Bella, honey. The basket is right there." Mom greeted me in the kitchen. She looked up from the magazine she was reading and smiled. "I'm so proud of you Bella."

I smiled back. "Thanks mom. I think it's time."

"Yeah, I think so too. Your dad would be happy. Have fun."

"I'll try!" I shouted behind me before I bumped into someone. I automatically knew it was Edward. The familiar scent of Old Spice greeted my nostrils.

"Whoa Bells, be careful." He said, grinning. His Hazel eyes bore into mine and I desperately tried to read them.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking." I quickly said, stepping back.

"It's okay. Ready to go?"

"Yeah, mom packed us enough food to feed an army." I told him, holding up the basket.

"Good. Because I already ate all of the food she sent me home with last night." He laughed, taking the basket from me.

The ride to the lake was uneventful. Whenever I passed something with mentioning, I told Edward and he seemed genuinely interested. That was another thing I loved about him. You could tell that he never pretended when he listened to you. He was always genuine.

When we drove past the sign that said Lake Holden, I felt the sharp sting in my chest and memories of my dad came flooding back. We spent so much time here. It seemed like nothing changed. Most of the trees looked the same, and the same old canoes lined the entrance. I could almost smell the sunscreen in the air that my dad always drenched me with whenever we came. He made a big deal out of it everytime.

"Here we are." I finally said.

"This is beautiful Bells."

"Yeah, it really is."

"I'm surprised not many people are out here today."

"Yeah, most people in the community spend a lot of time here during the Summer. Not so much around this time. Do you want to find somewhere to sit?"

"Yeah." I watched as Edward walked the path ahead of me, holding the basket. I ignored how his muscles looked in the T-shirt he wore.

"I think this is good" I didn't tell him that it was the spot my dad and I often chose.

"Okay, cool."

I took out the blanket that I knew Mom would pack and spread it on the ground before I sat down. Edward sat down next to me, and I tried my best to act nonchalant.

I felt when he laid his head down, and looked over at him. He was looking up at the sky.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked him.

He smiled. "I was just thinking about how peaceful it is here."

"Yeah, my dad and I spent a lot of time up here."

"I remember you told me about this place. I didn't know you haven't been here since he died."

I could feel him looking at me. "Yeah, I guess it was too painful. But… I realized that I needed to come."

"How does it feel being back?"

"Honestly?"

"Of course, Bells."

"It still stings a bit. We practically lived up here."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm glad I came. All of the memories of this place are good." I smiled, looking out at the water.

"I'm glad you chose to bring me here.'

"Yeah, I am too." I wrapped my arms around my legs and placed my chin on my knees.

"Bells?"

"Hmmm?" I responded, lost in my thoughts about dad.

"I really missed you back then."

"I missed you too."

He chuckled. "If only I knew that. I made Alice and my parents miserable for months because I didn't hear from you again. I could figure out what I did wrong."

"Really?"

"Yes. I really liked you Bells. Heck, I told my family I wanted to…"

"Isabella Swann?" I recognised Aaron's voice as soon as I heard it. I heard a sharp intake of breath come from Edward as well.

Was he annoyed?

"Aaron, what are you doing up here?"

"Dad and I came to do some fishing."

As soon as he said it, I noticed Mr. Cunningham walking up the path.

"Hi, Mr. Cunningham!"

"Hey there, Bella. Your mom told me you were coming back home for the holiday."

"Yeah its good to be home. This is Edward." I told him, gesturing to Edward, who was now sitting up.

"Nice to meet you. I met your wife yesterday."

"Oh, you're the fellow renting from us! Aaron told me you gave him a birthday ride home last night."

"Yes sir."

"Great to meet you. Well, we'll be heading up this way. Give you kids some space." Mr. Cunningham said and I felt the blush creep up my cheeks.

"Yeah, let's do that dad." Aaron chuckled. "See you two lovebirds later."

I didn't know how long I stared at their retreating figures, until Edward spoke.

"So… Aaron huh?"

"Uhh, yeah. What about him?"

"You two seem pretty close."

I chuckled. "I wouldn't say that. I'm more of the annoying kid that he had to put up with growing up."

"You're not a kid now."

"No, but I'm sure he still sees me that way."

He didn't respond.

"Did you guys get more acquainted last night when you dropped him home?" I asked him.

"I guess you can say that. He asked me a lot of questions about you."

"Me? Why?"

"He just wanted to make sure that I was treating you right."

I laughed weakly. "You didn't tell him that he got it wrong? That I'm not actually your girlfriend?"

"No, I didn't get a chance to."

"Oh. We sat in silence.

Tell him! Tell him! I could hear my internal self screaming.

Just get it over with!

"Edward..

"Bells.."

We both laughed when we spoke at the same time.

Edward turned to me. His hazel eyes poured into mine and I could feel my heart beating.

"Ladies first."

I let out a deep breath I didn't remember holding. Here goes nothing. I thought to myself before I spoke. "Edward, back then you were one of the few people I could talk to about my dad… I couldn't even talk to my mom. I know we were just kids but there was just something about you that drew me to you. When I came to your house I was so excited but after I heard the things Tanya said about me, I was just so hurt."

I took a deep breath and continued. "When I saw you again after all those years, I didn't expect to feel the same way that I did when I was 13."

"How did you feel?" Edward asked, and it was difficult for me to read his face.

"I...well I.."

"I love you, Bells." Edward blurted out.

Everything that I was going to say vanished from my mind.

"What?" I barely got out before he took my hands that were now clammy and trembling.

My head was swinging and I felt like my heart would beat out of my chest.

"I said I love you. So much that I've been driving myself crazy since I found you again. " He told me again, squeezing my hand.

The last thing I remember was his eyes pouring into mine with sincerity, before I blacked out.